Getting Used To It: Your Midlife Body's New Playbook

The rules changed and no one handed us a new playbook. We sat down to compare what midlife really feels like in our bodies—what crept up, what hit like a freight train, and which fixes finally worked after the old standbys failed. If you’ve tried more walking, more Pilates, or a round of intermittent fasting and watched your middle thicken anyway, you’re not imagining it. Our physiology shifts, and the plan has to shift with it.

The rules changed and no one handed us a new playbook. We sat down to compare what midlife really feels like in our bodies—what crept up, what hit like a freight train, and which fixes finally worked after the old standbys failed. If you've tried more walking, more Pilates, or a round of intermittent fasting and watched your middle thicken anyway, you're not imagining it. Our physiology shifts, and the plan has to shift with it.

Beth shares her turning point at 55: intermittent fasting gave energy but didn't move the scale. The fix? Strength training, sprint intervals, and targeted macros. Guided by Dr. Stacy Sims' insights, we cover protein, progressive overload, and cardio that supports muscle instead of stealing it.

We also tackle the quieter stuff: flatter moods, dry eyes, grief when periods end, and menopause hormone therapy for brain and bone health. This is what we wish we knew at 45.

Press play, share with a friend, subscribe, and leave a review with your best midlife training tip—we'll feature favorites next week.

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Stay connected, stay curious, and we’ll see you next time!

Transcript

Setting The Stage

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hey Beth.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Susie. Oops. I jumped on you. Let's start that again. Let's wait a beat. Let's wait a beat. Let's wait a beat. Okay, wait. Hang on. Hey Beth. Susie. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:20

I'm actually doing pretty good. Am I? Yes. I'm not being snowed on, so I'm doing great. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Not bad. Sunny day here in Los Angeles. Um, yeah, trucking along. Trucking along.

Why Menopause Info Feels New

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Trucking along is great. Well, we are here today to talk about what it's like to be in our bodies. How about that? The difference between how Beth feels in her body and how I feel in my body. It's just our different ages and uh told ages and stages, and Beth is ahead of me. And we started talking about this the other day, and Beth said something about, you know, rec realizing like, wow, my body felt like it was changing at 55. And this is what I felt. I was like, oh my gosh, you need to talk more about this because I need to know what's coming ahead and what I need to prep for. And I think the interesting thing is we are getting more information about menopause these days, but it's it feels like so new. And, you know, the science is really truly feels like just coming out. And so it's changing here and there. We're just really waiting for the I don't know how many years it's actually going to take, but like really, really solid information.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Absolutely. It just feels like uh shockingly, studying maturing women has been slow to catch fire. Yeah. And even I'm yeah, I mean, I'm 62 and I feel like I needed to know what people are learning in the last two years. I needed that five years ago. Yeah. So I'm a little, I'm lagging.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Yeah. And, you know, I'm so happy that they're looking into this more. There's more of the, you know, the magnifiers on it, and they're getting more and more information so that by the time our girls are going through this, they're gonna have a large data bank of information. But we're we're on the front end. We're on the front end. And I wanted to hear from you, Beth. You know, there's a lot of things that people say about their bodies changing, but and I know everybody experiences perimenopause and menopause differently. I'm definitely going through the whole perimenopause thing, but I want to know Beth's experience.

Beth’s Wake-Up At 55

White-Knuckling Without HRT

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Okay, I'm under the microscope one more time. Um you're gonna be my guinea pig. Yeah. I'll I'll say that. Um when I went, I remember reading about, oh, or you're in perimenopause, oh, perimenopause. And I remember thinking, you know, there was that talk, like you get that middleweight gain, you know. And I was like, that's not happening to me. I'm still getting my period. I was around 55 when I stopped getting my I stopped menstruating. Um, and I remember thinking, that's not happening to me. I'm gonna be the one. It doesn't happen to, I don't know, talk about an ego. Um, or just being straight up dumb. Um wishing it away. Wishing it away. I think they call that denial. Yeah. Yes, there's that. And I I think what happened was, you know, I'm from the age range of you don't take hormones, uh, HRT, or I think they're calling it that's hormone replacement therapy. And I heard Dr. Stacey Sims call it um menopause. I forget what it is. It was, but she has a different acronym for it. Um, that's about menopause. Anyways, um, we'll dig that up for you. Uh, we'll get our research people on that, right, Susie? We will totally um, anyways, I remember thinking at that knowing at the time, like, oh, you can't take that, that that causes cancer. That's you know, don't go on HRT, etc. So I didn't. So I basically white knuckled through menopause. Fortunately, I was not a person that had the terrible um um hot flashes and sweating, you know, but I did have a lot of restless night's sleep and um I would get hot, and I still get hot, um, but I didn't sweat. So I was like, hey, I think I'm making it through this time pretty easily, and I'm not gonna be the one that gets middleweight gain until then. Hey, one day I woke up and I had it. I wasn't in the getting it anymore, it was already there. Meaning what?

SPEAKER_01 5:06

So what was it? The middleweight game, the middleweight game. Yeah, so that was your first oh shit moment, like that was my oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Yes, no, not that it was happening, it knew you were shit, it happened.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Did you put on a pair of pants? You're like, what the heck is happening?

Middle Weight Gain And Misfires

SPEAKER_00 5:22

I remember I saw I I put on a dress, had to be gradual, it was a dress, it was super gradual. It was a dress. I put on a dress and I went, um, that's good. Tighten the boobs of all the places, and it's like weird. And then I went, Oh, I gotta figure it this out real quick, you know, because I mean the doctors didn't really have much for me. So I did a little, I did some research. Susie and I are big on the research, and I found intermittent fasting and I jumped on it, right? And you know, good news about intermittent fasting is once you get through the horrible bits, you do get a lot of energy. Like I got a I was really energetic from it, you know. Once you get into, I think they call it autophagy. I'm not a scientist, but pretty sure that's what it's called. Once you get in there, I felt like I was buzzing, but I started putting more weight on in the middle of my body.

unknown 6:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

And it was not working for me.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

It was not working, so I stopped doing that and I didn't know what to do, you know. And I sort of went back to my old workout habits because they all they the tried and true, you know, let's get some aerobics in here that always work. Let's walk, let's, you know, do Pilates. None of it helped.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Yeah, all the usual things weren't doing the things that it typically does.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Right. Yeah. Um, and I hadn't thought, I mean, you know, if you uh in the nutrition culture, let's call it, um, you know, ever it was like eat what you want, you know, fat is good, you know, all those carbs aren't bad shit. Sorry. And so I was like, I'm fine. I don't, I eat pretty healthy, et cetera, et cetera. Well, yeah, come to find out, the older you get, the less you need, you know. So as I began to sort of pick apart what could I do, and it was, I will say it was a bit scary because I didn't want to experiment on myself. I kind of wanted somebody to tell me exactly what to do.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Right.

Intermittent Fasting Backfires

SPEAKER_00 7:29

And yet it did not work that way. I had to experiment. So the intermittent fasting was an experiment, the weight lifting in the beginning, that was experimentation because I'd always done Pilates and that had always worked for me. So I was concerned about, you know, the typical concerns, bulking and all that stuff. And yeah, and finally, um, you know, did anything work? That did what started to work was finding the right macro ratios for my body, which was less than what I was eating, which made me have to keep track of what I ate, and the work of Dr. Stacey Sims.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

You know, and giving a good giving her, you know, giving what she says a try, you know, is really what uh changed things.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Right. So then um what do you feel like you've had to give up then that you didn't think you would have to?

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Um I don't know. Uh give up, you mean like whether it was food or was it? I mean, I I feel like food-wise it was less food, you know. Just less food, that was it. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have to give up anything. There was a way to sort of like work everything into it. I mean, certainly Did you start doing more weight training? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Well, so Stacey Sims became more popular a couple of years ago, right? Yeah. And so was it really just it wasn't until then that it started to really Yeah, it's probably been in the last year, you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

I read about her stuff, but I didn't quite know how to make a program for myself. But I but I could take on board what she was saying, and then I and then I joined um an online app that she's a part of, and I started doing their workouts and I um very cool with um a woman named Haley. It's called Haley Happens Fitness. No, we get nothing out of this. I'm just laying it out there. I love it. Yeah, it's an app, I go to the gym, I do the workouts, I do they have nutrition counseling, you know, want as much as you want, but just a one-off for me, got my macros, boom. Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

And now you feel like you feel it helping. Now I feel a shift. That's awesome. That is awesome. So then um, what's gotten better then after you started that?

Finding Macros And Muscle

SPEAKER_00 10:08

Um, well, I mean, one thing, and we say this in coaching, like doing something really does alleviate anxiety and as does seeing results. So, you know, I definitely could see that with weight training, I was I could see that my muscles, I was building muscle and retaining muscle, which is very important at my age, you know, as we age to retain your muscle mass. And we lose muscle mass from like what our 30s on. Um, so that was say that like I know science, but I'm not sure. I'm just no, I mean from what I've read. Well I've read. Not that you notice it then, but you know. Um, so that um definitely look better in clothing, which was something I I wanted, you know. Um yeah, I mean, has it been, am I like a hundred percent there? Not not necessarily, but I'm a lot happier than I was a few years ago, and I feel like it really works for me.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Right. And then so basically when you were doing the intermittent fasting before, and listen, we're not promoting anything or whatever, like everybody has to figure out what they need for their own bodies. We're not saying it's bad or good or whatever, but it just wasn't working for you. Absolutely. Um, so you weren't doing any weight training back then, and so this is the big difference, really. The weight training.

Training That Actually Works

SPEAKER_00 11:36

I had been doing weight training back then, but I wasn't doing macros. And I so I was just eating, yeah, and I wasn't doing any cardio. This program has a small amount of cardio, not very much. Right. Um, what I understand from what Dr. Sims talks about is that um, you know, Jack for someone my age, yeah, purely doing like a zone two workout isn't gonna get it. We're women are for women, men, you guys, you're you've got it. Don't worry. Women like they need a range as well. Women are really adaptable, and so from what I've understood, you know, walking's amazing if you haven't walked, but if you've always walked, yep, it's not gonna do anything for you. You need that is definitely everybody for sure. Literally upset the apple cart, if you will, people. Yeah, you know, you have to shake it up, and it's not just she would she would even say hit. We don't hold ourselves to what hit really needs to be to shake it up, shake up our systems for women. She, so she has something called sit, which is um sprint interval training, and you don't have to do very much of it. It could be 15 minutes, it could be even less, but it's just something that like actually shakes your body up. Yeah. So since I joined their program, the Haley Happens Fitness Program, which Dr. Sims consults on a little bit. Um, I've done macros, weight training, and um some cardio. Okay. And and all that has shaken me up.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Nice. That's awesome to hear that at least I'm doing that stuff. So okay, yay, check Susie's on track, don't worry. Well, you know, honestly, I feel lucky because I am 51 and I'm we are getting this information now. So I really did listen to what people were saying that they didn't do. So I'm like, okay, well, let me be on that then and let me do that. So I'm I'm trying to prep. Yeah, Susie's a prepper.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

It's like a prepper. Yeah. It's like when you have a um hurricane, she tells us. Yes, I prep. She'll be ready.

Mood, Dry Eyes, And Surprises

SPEAKER_01 14:04

I'll be ready. Hopefully.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

She's ready for this body hurricane that could be come back.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Well, let me ask you, because it's like the rest of the body too. What else did you notice changing?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

During the whole yeah, yeah. I mean, I think what I've been, I think I reported this out to you recently. Um, is that, and I don't think I realized that maybe this was a part of it, which is kind of mood related and just sort of, I don't want to call it numb, but maybe slightly numb. Like I'm just like nothing, like the highs and lows are kind of very minor.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Right. You were saying you felt feel very just not not a lot of highs and lows, actually. It's just like uh not a lot of moods.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Like that's so interesting.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Hardly ever cry anymore. And I used to say, like, oh, since I have a had a baby who's gonna be 20, I don't cry anymore because I've you know, I I connected it to that, but yeah, I don't know if that is truly the reason. I mean, I I'll cry about her. I don't know if that's truly the reason, you know. Yeah, that's just like a timeline I have. But if you think about it, I was in perimenopause when I had her.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Right. You know, I did not think about it. You're right.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

So I don't know. So there's that. Um dry eyes. Really? Yeah, not everybody gets that. I have that.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

And so are you always managing with the droppers? I hate those drops.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I'm supposed to use them like four times a day. And I went to the eye doc I I went to the eye doctor not too long ago, and I was like, oh, well, I guess my eyes are a little dry, but I just when I wake up, I just do this. She's like, Don't do that. Oh, don't rub it. Everybody, I'm rubbing. They can't see you, but she rubbed her eyes. And I was like, I go, well, why do I have this? And she she looks in there and she can actually see it in the microscope. She was like, it's menopause. And I was like, What?

unknown 16:07

Dry eyes.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

There's like the longest list of things that it could affect.

Grief After Periods End

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Lack of sex drive. We know we've talked about that one. That one. Um, dry eyes, mood, blah.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Um any hair stuff. No.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

I mean, I maybe did have some hair shedding. Yeah. Oh, but years ago. Yeah. Like probably more around when I started or when I was when Mency's, you know, was beginning to subside. Um, but not, but not any longer.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

So what let me I'm so curious. So when you're when you when you're uh Mency's, when that started to well, when it was actually just done, did you notice anything else just change within you afterwards? I'm so like curious to know what happens after that. No, nothing. No, not really. It's just a relief that you don't have your period anymore.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Well, I mean, I well, actually, if you put it that way, I think I felt sad. Oh, you know, all those years you're like, I'd be so done with this thing. Yeah. And then you get there and you're like, but wait, the boat is tough to see. Oh, wait a minute. Yes, yeah. So there was that. The other thing was, um, around that time, my daughter was going into Mencies, and and she was like, But you're not gonna be able to help me because you won't know what to do anymore. I'm like, Oh, trust me, I've got like 50 years of experience in this 45 or whatever. I can help you. I'll teach you. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I guess that those things, you know. Yeah. And for me, I I've heard other women say like they have really heavy periods on the way out. For me, it just kept getting lighter. Yeah, you said that mine just kept getting lighter and lighter and lighter until oh, I guess it's done.

Hormones, Households, And Signals

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Wow. I feel like I'm just heavier and heavier and heavier until I guess I'm dead. I don't know. Because I don't understand how how much heavier it can get. But yeah, it's interesting that everyone is so different. Yeah. So they're, you know, it's really just hard to tell. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Yeah. Oh, here's what one other interesting thing, and I I haven't dipped into any science on this, if it exists, but I do notice that when I'm around someone living in my household that still menstruates, that I try to not have a cycle, but I start to have um period related things. No way. Not so it's mostly like I'll get a hot flash when I haven't had any um for a while. Or um stuff like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Can we please cause someone scientists please tell us? Yeah, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, I'll feel amorous.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

When I'm like, oh, where is that coming from?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Like, you know, that is so fascinating. I mean, pheromones, all that we do express these hormones out, so that's not surprising. Surprising.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

I mean, and if you think about it, if we're both menstruating and living in the same household, we all know that our cycles try to climb onto each other. Is exactly so yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

That is fascinating. Well, let me ask you too. Do you think that has your husband told you like anything that he's noticed that's anything that's you mean like is the hair in your nose growing or that kind of thing? Yeah, I mean, I was thinking other things, but yes, um, he has definitely the nose hairs, but he would not tell me.

What We Wish We Knew At 45

SPEAKER_00 19:59

He wouldn't tell you. I don't want to know, he's too nice. Oh, would you want to know? And if I maybe, maybe if I went to him and said, Hey, um, are you noticing anything? He would be like, I don't know. Yeah, what never, yeah. So God bless him.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

I know, such a sweet man. It's better to stay quiet, it's better to stay quiet. Love him. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

So, what do you wish someone had told you at 45 that I needed to change how I work out and that I was and that I needed to um be mindful of that my nutrition needs. Now I had read, I'm sure, like when you're older, you should eat less, but I didn't realize that I was older. Shock. I didn't see myself that way, and I didn't see the correlation.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I thought the correlation was in old age, not in an old age meant to you like 70s, 80s, probably not correlated to the cessation of my period, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Right, you know, it's like older this is like older people need less sleep and they shouldn't eat as much because they don't need it, right? That was the correlation for me. I didn't get that it was menopause, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Got it, yeah, and then knowing what you know now and that you're in this other space with you know, you've you're working out, you got that kind of figured out and stuff. Like, so what are you looking forward to? Because you it sounds like you're dialing it in for your Yeah, I think I'm dialing it in.

MHT, Brain Health, And Aging

SPEAKER_00 21:46

That's a good way to put it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

So then what are you now looking forward to? Um well, like I don't know. What is your advice to yourself for the let's say the next one getting on the hormones, getting on the hormones, getting on the hormones. Get on the freaking hormones.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Well, I mean, I think now regarding the hormones, um, I'm thinking, you know, the that they offer a protection um with regard to Alzheimer's.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

So And that's probably something you would have told yourself at 45 or 42. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. Thank goodness for science and that they're constantly learning.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Bummer that they didn't start with this before. I know one thing Stacey Sims definitely says is that we're not little men. Um exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

And she calls it menopause hormone therapy, MHT. I feel like it should be called meno stop.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Do we not just stop? What's the pause for? I don't understand that part. Oh, but yeah. Yeah. Like, are we pausing? Um, when does it come through? I know. Is it coming back? Yeah. What is this a lie that you sold us? I know. So, you know, I thank goodness again that people are digging in and we're getting that's like the the better edge of the sword with social media, right? So we get to learn about it through that. And again, our the younger generation of ladies and men, because you know, my husband's involved. He's got to re interact with me in this space. They have manopause. They I totally think they have manopause.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

They do. What's it? It's you know, there's a menopause, yeah for God's sake.

Feeling 22 In A 62 Body

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Sure. I mean, their hormones go through it too. So, you know, we just need to be patient and learn. And I love what you did, which is just really using yourself and like let's just see what works. You know, I gotta really learn by doing. So I love that you did that. And I'm just gonna keep listening to you and hear when what I should be doing next. And for the listeners out there too, we'd love to hear what you went through because I'm sure there's so many different things than what Beth said too. We all have our own experiences and then what you did about it. Would love to hear that too.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Yeah, and maybe we do an episode in the future on Anthropause, which is the male version of menopause.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Yeah, so is that what it's called? Yeah. Okay, got it. Got it. Yes, that'd be fascinating.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Oh, I think maybe the one thing that maybe my husband would say, I doubt he would say it, but the one the other thing I noticed is that there was definitely an onset of aging in my face.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't think he's gonna happen all the time.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

I know, but I just really noticed I looked older all of a sudden. I was like, Really?

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Like, stop the aging in the face.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

I mean, there are ways you can do I mean I feel 19 inside people, and I'm 62. Like, maybe I feel 22.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

I was gonna say, I don't know if I feel 16 or 19. Definitely maybe. Oh, I was gonna go with 30. I liked 30. Oh, you did that. Was a good year for you? Yeah, well, not that it was a good year, but I just wasn't in my 20s anymore.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Yeah, no, no, no. I hear you. I I loved being 30. I've arrived.

Listener Stories And Wrap

SPEAKER_01 25:11

I'm here. Yeah, I'm here on the planet.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Yeah, yeah. I'm an adult now.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Yeah, and now I don't want to be an adult.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

Like you no, I hear you. I hear you. Stop the adulting.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah. Well, thanks everyone for listening, and we will catch you on the other side.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Yeah. Thanks for listening and going through my menopausal change with me.