Taryn, Part 2. Mexican American: Silo Parties, Weddings & Día de los Muertos

Host Jess Lin continues her conversation with Taryn, a third-generation Mexican American from Northern California. This episode explores cultural identity, heritage language, and how learning traditions like Día de los Muertos can help families reconnect to their roots.

Taryn reflects on her parents’ love story, family visits to Mexico, and how her family’s connection to Mexican culture has evolved across generations. Listeners will hear personal stories, insights on volunteering and giving back, plus special musical performances from her father, Ray, and her sister, Lia Rae.

With humor, heart, and heritage, this episode highlights the importance of storytelling, cultural transmission, and honoring where we come from.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Taryn's family:

• Lia Rae on YouTube: @LiaRaeOfficial
• Ray Cadena’s band on Facebook: Grooveline

Transcript

Transcript generated by AI and may contain errors

[00:00:00] 

Taryn: And I can imagine him as a 18-year-old thinking that this girl is super cute and inviting her, him into the car.

He is just like, I am gonna jump through this window onto her lap. So that's what he did.

Jess: What?

Taryn: Yeah.

Jess: No, no, no. He, he didn't actually jump through the 

Taryn: He climbed through the window

on, onto her lap. 

Seriously.

Jess: You're listening to Cultureful. I'm your host, Jess Lin. Happy Latinx Heritage Month. This is the second half of my conversation with Taryn, a Mexican American from Northern California. In the first half, we got to know her grandparents, how they moved to California as farm workers and started their families.

We also learned about what her parents were like as young people.

 In this episode, we hear about her parents' meet cute, their wedding, and starting a family of their own. I loved finding out [00:01:00] what her family is up to now, and especially noticing the through lines. How family influences have shaped Taryn and her siblings interests and careers. It also made me reflect on the idea that maintaining language and culture can be a kind of intergenerational privilege.

The chance to grow up in communities where your heritage is celebrated and cultural practices are passed down from what I'm learning. Sociolinguistics and immigrant studies call this heritage language Maintenance and Cultural Transmission, and it's powerful to hear how Taryn and her family are learning and celebrating their culture today. This episode also has some special musical treats.

As always, you can watch the video version with photos on YouTube. I hope you enjoy.

okay. 

So now we know, you know, the background of your mom's [00:02:00] side and your dad's side. Let's fast forward to What's the story about how they met?

Taryn: So my mom was from Woodland. My dad is from Esparto, California. Uh, Woodland it's the county seat of Yolo County, uh, which is a big ag county. And my dad's town. Esparto is an ag city or ag town, but it is very, very, very tiny. 

Jess: 

Taryn: So my dad's friends thought it was pretty cool to date a girl from Woodland because it was considered like the big town or the big city.

And it's hilarious to think of Woodland as

the big city where the cool girls are from.

Jess: Uh. 

Taryn: so my dad, He played football. He was kinda sporty in high school.

He was, did track, he did music. He was a very talented, um, very athletic person. He graduated from Esparto High, 

I believe, graduated class of 86.

With 34 students in his graduating class.

And my mom, I know my mom graduated class of 85. My mom was [00:03:00] more, dedicated to like academics She's a year older than him, she, went straight from. High school the workforce. So she at one point worked like three jobs. I think she was working at a preschool.

She was, uh, working at Winchell's Donuts. Um, she was having a great time. She moved out of her parents' house, uh, into an apartment across town with, her cousin, or who was her best friend and, or, you know, one of her best friends. And she said that she worked three jobs and they were also this like, awesome party house. And I was like, mom, did you ever sleep? And she's like, I don't think so. I just was having fun. I loved working and I loved hanging out with my friends. suddenly she had a great time. So, um, my parents are both big party people. They enjoy going out. They, you know, had lots of friends in the area growing up and because their towns really weren't that far away from each other, they ended up. [00:04:00] Meeting at a silo party. And

Jess: a silo party for a girl who did not grow up in a farm town?

Taryn: so a silo is a big, uh, grain storage facility.

and like a really simplified, version of a silo is what looks like a barn with this big, um, kind of cylinder coming up off of one side and a roof on top of the cylinder. And that's just like where all the grain will go to be stored. 

Jess: The cylindrical part.

Taryn: the cylindrical part is where they pour the grain

in. Yeah. And I think it's like a processing room or building off to the side of that, or like maybe where they come to like pick it up or something. that is my understanding

of a silo from what I've seen. Of silos.

Jess: And so the party was in that processing room that was not in the cylindrical part,

Taryn: Yes. I think. the cylindrical part, the silo, so that's actually called the silo. If the silo wasn't empty, then yeah, people would not be in there.

[00:05:00] or it was empty and, but I think it was like the building part, the silo where some like big party was going on and people from Woodland and Esparto and the surrounding areas all were driving in to go and hang out.

my mom was with two of her girlfriends. my dad had, I think two of his guy friends there. And my mom had bronchitis at the time. Um, she was 19, my dad was 18, and, uh, she like was really sick and couldn't really talk. She had lost her voice. but her friend

Jess: She was 

like, I'm still going to this party. 

Taryn: well, her friend said, you're going to this party 'cause I wanna meet boys tonight.

Jess: And 

I need to wing, wing people.

Taryn: Yes. Her friend was like, I wanna meet boys. You're going. And my mom's like, whatever. Fine. So the three of them go, they're at this party, It must've been like a really big party. 'cause by like the end of it, they were like leaving without having that boys [00:06:00] and her friend. as they were getting in the car and were starting to drive away was like complaining that they hadn't met any boys that night.

Jess: Just so disappointed. 

Taryn: she was just like, this is the whole point, like

lame. And so one of them, the other friend must have said, like, well, fine, look, those are some boys. There are three boys right there. And it was my dad and his two buddies,

Uh,

from childhood, We were like hanging out and so they slow the car down and they're just like, Hey, like, what's up? Do you want us to show? Do you wanna like show us around town? Because it was near, it was closer to Esparto

and they're just like, Hey, like we're from Woodland. Do you wanna, do you wanna hang out?

Jess: They played their Woodland girls card.

Taryn: I don't. I'm sure it was just like, we're cute,

Jess: We 

Taryn: hanging out. Like, yeah, we

know it. You're 

Jess: people. 

Taryn: Like, let's go. 

Jess: Wow. I like, I like that they like rolled down their window and they picked up the [00:07:00] boys.

Taryn: so

they picked up the boys. My dad was like, ' cause my mom was in the passenger seat with bronchitis. Could not talk. He was just like, this girl's really cute. So he hopped. My dad is a very charismatic person. he likes to make friends, like he makes friends very easily. And I can imagine him as a 18-year-old thinking that this girl is super cute and inviting her, him into the car.

He is just like, I am gonna jump through this window onto her lap. So that's what he did.

Jess: What?

Taryn: Yeah.

Jess: No, no, no. He, he didn't actually jump through the 

Taryn: He climbed through the window

on, onto her lap. 

Seriously.

Yes.

Jess: She corroborates this part of the story.

Taryn: Yes. She's like, I couldn't breathe. He was sitting on me.

Jess: What? That was his move was to just like get onto her lap.

Taryn: Mm-hmm.

Jess: This is the first time that he's like talking to her.

Taryn: Yes. Um, I don't know if he was drunk or [00:08:00] not. I

could see it going both ways. Just this is his personality.

at one point he, so my dad is a singer, he's in a band. He was also super into singing and music before. So he s named her on her lap

Jess: on her lap.

Taryn: and he sings Earth Angel to her. And

Jess: I'm gonna have to look up that song after.

Taryn: it's an oldie song,

Jess: Earth Angel is the classic Doop song first recorded by the Penguins in Los Angeles in 1954. And here's a special treat. Taryn's dad, Ray Cadena singing it.

Ray Cadena: Earth angel, earth angel, please be mine. My darling dear, love you all the time. I'm just a fool, [00:09:00] a fool in love with you..

Jess: This is an epic, this is an epic way to start a love story. This is like in a movie. If they put it in a movie, like people would be like, well this is too unrealistic,

Taryn: right? They're just like, who does this? Uh, my

dad and I, I like to think that my mom was just kind of like, like, he's cute, but like, what is he doing? Yeah.

Jess: Yeah, 

Taryn: my dad's a very big personality, but he's also, he, he makes friends really easily because of it. he is really great at, like he's a performer and I think

you have to have a big personality to be a performer. So, yeah, I mean, it impressed my mom.[00:10:00] 

Jess: Right. So, so, so, so then, so he charmed her like this worked.

Taryn: I think so, I don't know a hundred percent what her impression was. She, she just kind of like, she kind of like pokes fun at him,

but in like a cute way.

I think, I think she was charmed. But anyway, so they went around and he was like, I'm gonna give you a tour of Esparto.

Esparto has one road.

Jess: Uhhuh,

Taryn: So he is like pointing out like there's the high school,

there's like the library, there's the fire department. Here's like a, a grain store, here's a restaurant. That's it.

Jess: End of tour. End of 

Taryn: And of store. Oh, oh, of course the grocery store. 'cause that's where he used to work.

so that's where my parents met. 

Anyway, my parents, their friend groups kind of started meshing a bit. he seems to have a very big impression on people,

when he first meets them. at, let's see, 22, he was 22. My mom was [00:11:00] 23 and I was born, so they weren't living together. My dad was going to school Sac City College and she was working in a preschool full time. so I was born. 

 He decided to, stop his studies at, SAC City, and he started working at, the target warehouse as like a four worker. And he worked there with, um, his brother-in-laws and, um, some other friends of his. It was actually a very popular place to work because at the time, uh, target warehouse workers were paid like pretty well.

And for the area, the average cost of living, um, you could afford a house and a family and a car and all these things. . And at the same time, they also provided really good benefits for you and your family. So, a lot of people started working there. I was born, I was living with my mom in a house that she was renting from one of her best friends, going to back to school to get her master's degree, but [00:12:00] owned a house.

So she just rented it out and rented out rooms to different friends. So I spent my first couple years living in a rental house with my mom and her roommates. one of her roommates would eventually become my uncle Dallas, married her sister.

Another roommate was, her first roommate, her cousin Danny. and we may have lived with, um, her friend Monique, the actual owner of the house at some point when she finished her school and came back to live at the house. So I, I lived with a bunch of 20 year olds, um,

for my first couple years, which is really interesting. But also stay, like, lived in the same town as my, the rest of my family. So I spent a lot of time with my Aunt Angie, and my grandma, Nancy, grandpa Eloy, and, Lucy, grandma Ramon. So I was in the picture pretty soon after, their relationship started. and 

it was about, I was about three when, they decided to get married and they got married in August, on my [00:13:00] grandma's grandma and grandpa, uh, Cadena's farm. So they used to have this beautiful rose garden in the front of the house, with like big hedges. that just kind of made like the perfect altar

Jess: Yeah. Like a ready to go altar.

Taryn: Exactly. so my grandma, Nancy's and grandpa's next door neighbor is a judge. he has married so many people in my family, including my parents. which I think is pretty cool that there's like this common thread there.

Jess: Mm-hmm. 

Taryn: that dad's band that he was in, uh, he was in a fifties cover band at the time. They played at the wedding. all their family and friends were there. It was my mom said like the easiest thing ever. they hardly did any planning. 

Jess: Yeah, it's not like built officiant and venue

Taryn: and, and, was it music? It

was built in

Jess: Yeah. It 

just like easy and 

cost efficient, 

Taryn: it was, it was very like, kind of not pot lucky in like that. Everyone brought a dish, but a lot of people just contributed [00:14:00] where, um, someone was like, Hey, I'll bring some flowers. And like someone was like, I'll bring, the little whatever you put onto the tables, decorations.

And someone's like, well, does someone buy your alcohol? I'll bring alcohol. And they're

just like, sure, why not? Sounds good.

Jess: community effort.

Taryn: Very much community effort. But, it's pretty cool to like, my cousin Matthew was was the ring bearer. I was the flower girl and it's kind of funny to like see a picture of my parents' like wedding day with like me in it with

them. 

Jess: Yeah.

Taryn: Yeah. It's really cool. 

Jess: and

then your brother and your sister came along a little bit later,

Taryn: So my mom was actually pregnant with my brother when they got married

Jess: Uhhuh.

Taryn: so they got married in August. He was born in February, So, my brother's three years younger than me and it was just the two of us for 11 years. they eventually moved out of the rented house. Uh, 'cause at that point, by the time my brother was born, um, my dad had moved in with my [00:15:00] mom. everyone else had kind of gone there separate ways. So, uh, that was our first house, was just a house that we rented from, um, our family friend, which was really nice.

And then my parents wanted to own their own house, when I was like five, my brother must have been two, we moved across town. to where we are, closer to, Woodland High School, that has been their house ever since. That's like the house that we got to grow up in and change and, you know, move in, move back into, and move back out of, uh, since then. 

And when my brother was 11 and I was 14, my little sister was born and that just shook everything up because all of a sudden it was like, you know, we're older now, we're like older kids. I'm a, you know, very young teenager and he's a preteen and all of a sudden there's a baby in the house. So being 14 and a big sister was kind of, I think maybe a bit of a different relationship because, [00:16:00] I very much had like a very sibling like relationship with my brother, but with my sister being so young, it felt more like a, like, almost like a, this is my baby sort of relationship. So I

kind of felt like almost a little bit of a motherly, I guess responsibility for her. But not too long after that, I had moved out and gone to college. So she was, you know, maybe four years old and then, moved away. So I think distance for a while made it seem like, she is less like my baby, and she's an adult now, so it doesn't, it feels a little bit more sibling like than before. but yeah, no, it's great. so my parents grew up with us as little kids. 

They were pretty young. It wasn't super important. I think raising three young kids to keep certain things culturally consistent. My dad, his first language is Spanish.

Jess: Mm-hmm.

Taryn: He really wanted us to learn Spanish. even though my mom grew up in a household where [00:17:00] like her dad's first language is Spanish, but her mom's first language is, is English.

Um, my mom grew up learning mostly English, so, I think my dad would've been the person to kind of like, I initiate like some Spanish, like he would incorporate a lot of like Spanish slang or just vocab words for easy things like food or locations or certain, like bicycle and things like that. Um, but for the most part, I think it was just, they're young. They have full-time jobs. my mom owned a preschool. 

Jess: ended up owning a preschool.

Taryn: I think all she had was I think a certificate in child. Well, she got her AA in child development later. 'cause I remember her doing night school when we were kids.

But as little, little kids, you could own a preschool and I think just get certified as a preschool teacher. 

Jess: In the US opening a preschool today looks very different than it did in the 1980s and the 1990s. Back then [00:18:00] directors and lead teachers often had a high school diploma in some college, learning much of the work on the job. , Licensing and education standards varied widely across states and regulations focused mainly on safety.

Today there's more emphasis on formal education and specialized training. Directors and lead teachers often hold degrees in early childhood education, but requirements still vary from state to state, reflecting the different approaches to early childhood education.

Taryn: so when we were really small, either around when Nick was born or before he was born, she owned Children's Garden and that's the preschool that I went to. It's where a lot of my cousins went.

My brother went, some of my like childhood friends. Mom was their preschool teacher. 

Jess: Yeah.

Taryn: and, as were my grandma, Nancy and my Aunt Angie, they all worked for my mom. [00:19:00] Uh, and so they were all our preschool teacher. So spent a significant amount of time with the three of them growing up.

Jess: It's like a family business on your mom's side a little bit.

Taryn: Yeah, Yeah,

Your 

Jess: your mom as the boss?

Taryn: Yes. Uh, the, yeah. Uh, owner, boss. Yeah.

Jess: Mm-hmm. 

Taryn: did that for a long time, about eight years. And then it wasn't until, you know, later she, she went and worked for a nonprofit for a long time, volunteer nonprofit, and went, was one when Talia was born that she very much wanted to

be at home with Talia.

My baby sister?

she wanted to be able to spend that time. My sister and not have her go to someone else's preschool. So she started up her own preschool again, but did in-house this time on a much smaller scale. so she was a preschool teacher again so that she could, um, teach my sister.

Jess: So your mom was all three of her kids'. Preschool teacher

Taryn: Yes. 

Yeah. She 

Jess: special.

Taryn: was a, she was a good preschool teacher too. Like, she, she was really [00:20:00] great. 

 I think she just didn't like the idea of her. She's like, if I have the ability to actually like, provide the things that they need as small kids. 'cause she does believe that like, you should have the correct tools to be a teacher.

Jess: after the break. How Taryn's family is now reconnecting with their Mexican culture and what everyone is up to now.

 So what's your family's relationship to your Mexican culture and identity and heritage now? Like has it evolved as you've grown up and what is it like now?

Taryn: So first off, just like visiting Mexico, we were always really consistent with going to the same place in Baja, California, but I think changing it a couple times in the past couple years has been helpful to get to [00:21:00] just know the country better, even though we don't have, I don't personally have the strongest ties with people still there who are part of our family. I've had a couple opportunities, or I've had at least one opportunity to meet up with family, um, the last time I was in Mexico. So we've all kind of gone on our own trips, at different times. I went with my mom, about two years ago, and it was the first time I got to meet some of my. Grandpa's cousins and my mom, who are my mom's cousins, and, spending time with them, getting to practice my Spanish that I've had to learn as an adult, which is difficult when I'm inconsistent. but this last trip it was nice because it was like, I've never met you before, but like, you're still my family. So there was like, there was a lot of curiosity to like learn about each other. there a bit older than me, uh, probably closer to, [00:22:00] you know, between my mom and my grandparents' age. But, it was really cool to like bring up certain family members that I grew up with and they're just like, oh, I remember some stories about them and when they took us here and when we would visit. at one point my. my cousin took us to, the town that she grew up in. and I don't know if it's changed in a very, very long time. It still has cobblestone streets. It still has, um, this really beautiful, big plaza, where there's street vendors and like, street food, all over and just like families out and about and children playing and people playing music. And it's just like a Thursday night at like 8 30, 9 o'clock at night. And it's just like, this is where everyone comes together and hang out and like see their neighbor and you know, like eat. And it's like this is, this is just like, this is just life. This is every day. And I was like, this is beautiful.

I love this. This is really cool to see. so it was cool to go. Back to her home place. they live [00:23:00] now, in the suburbs of Mexico City, which is my first time gonna Mexico City. I was really, really impressed with just how beautiful it is. an amazing, technological metropolis, like the trip, uh, public transportation is incredible. yeah, I would absolutely go back. Um, so talking to them about, future plans to go down and visit them in, Guadalajara would be really cool. cause not only did they, these are family members who have settled in Guadalajara who are maybe not from, you know, the regions originally, but I also have family on my dad's side down there who would be cool to visit. my dad's made a trip down to go visit, extended family down in Guadalajara, and that's been really important for him. And we, as a big larger part of our family, have gone to just check out other parts of Mexico also to vacation, but also to as an opportunity, like when we go, we try and like practice our Spanish and we try and like [00:24:00] enjoy or like learn about new foods that are new to us, but are definitely important culturally or significant.

or you can only find certain foods, or certain, ingredients when you're there. So I feel like every time we go it's, it's not just a vacation, but it's also we kind of treat it as a learning opportunity. Uh, so that's been really special. 

My little sister helped to bring or to start a new tradition of observing, uh, in a more significant way, Día de los Muertos. 

Jess: Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead is a Mexican holiday with deep indigenous roots tracing back to Aztec and other pre-Columbian traditions that honored the cycle of life and death With Spanish Colonialization, these practices blended with Catholic observances. Like All Saints Day and All Souls Day. November 1st Dia de los Inocentes Honors children who [00:25:00] have passed while November 2nd. De los difuntos is dedicated to adults, families build ofrendas or offerings. Home altars decorated with marigold's candles, sugar skulls, photos, favorite foods and personal items to welcome loved ones' spirits. Cemeteries are cleaned and communities gather for music, food, and processions. Rather than somber Dia de los Muertos is a joyful reminder that those who came before remain alive through memory and story.

Today it's celebrated not only in Mexico, but across the United States and Latin America with festivals, public alters, art, and community gatherings that carry these traditions forward.

Taryn: So my family, we didn't grow up having altars. We didn't grow up having, any sort of discussion about the [00:26:00] holiday. So, my sister started learning about it on her own and has like asked my parents if they could start, just doing that every year. So now they have an altar for de de Los Martos and you know, it gets more, um, beautiful and full every year.

Um, so I think that's pretty cool that she's asked to introduce that. there are a lot of things that we're all interested in individually that will go and seek out ways to, um, to get closer to our Mexican roots.

Jess: Do you think that, like in your family, the interest, um, in connecting to the Mexican roots, has that increased recently? Like, Has, has that increased recently? Like, and, and if so, like did something happen that inspired this?

Taryn: I think, it's happened, it's progressed since I think, the three kids, the three of us have gotten older and I don't know, I feel like, I feel like there are definitely times [00:27:00] when there are things about Mexican culture that I'll hear about or will I don't know, see or I don't know if in media or whatever, that have like made us question like. Why don't we do this? Or why, what is the significance of this? And if this is actually like really important to family members from before, it's like, that'd be interesting to learn about. It'd be nice to kind of, um, explore that. So I think it's curiosity. I think it's kind of to us a nice feeling to know a bit more about our heritage.

'cause it kinda feels like we're celebrating it, when it seems like for a lot of my family members, um, who are here now or from the past have had to work really hard to suppress it, to make their way and like navigate living here for a long time. it's kind of just like a thing that feels a little lost, at least to me, that [00:28:00] maybe. Maybe would've been significant to former family members or maybe not. Maybe they wouldn't, maybe they also didn't observe these things. But it's just a way to be like, I would like to know more about the culture in general. And, I think it's kind of cool to, to just know a little bit more about Yeah.

Our, our heritage, so,

Jess: And connect with it a little bit more. Huh. It 

sounds like, 

Taryn: yeah. 

Jess: it's interesting, I think when you say suppress, when you say, you know, like maybe a grandfather's generation, grandparents' generation, like having to suppress some of their relationship to their Mexican heritage and identity. Are you thinking in terms of language, are you thinking in terms of, because, 'cause when I hear this, you know, you kind of talk about their situation, it sounds like Definitely they had to learn English and they.

Definitely had to kind of find new ways of supporting themselves here and, you know, building community and all this stuff, but also they were so busy. [00:29:00] Um, but did it feel like they had to suppress some of this stuff besides language

Taryn: so I know at least that, like you said, language, and not speaking English, uh, was a big thing. for example, my grandpa did say that, when they were little kids in school in Texas, they would be, disciplined for speaking Spanish on the playground. 

So there was a long time that my grandpa said that he and his brother just never spoke to anyone because they would get in trouble, um, or hit for, um, speaking Spanish because their teacher said, you're not allowed to do that here. So that's kinda a severe form of 

suppression. 

Jess: Yeah. Learning to suppress it to get by.

Taryn: Yeah. Um, I don't know if this changed things or if it was just something that he had to deal with. but I also know that my grandpa, Eloy, as a little kid, would have to take, his homemade lunch to school, [00:30:00] and I'd like the other kids that would have sandwiches or, foods that they were familiar with in the town, that were made by their moms.

Um, grandpa would have beans and tortillas and essentially like Mexican food and his, lunchbox and he, uh, would get bullied and teased for it because it just wasn't, it wasn't what other people in town who weren't Mexican ate. So I don't know if that resulted in him asking for something else or if he just didn't do anything. But, there are just certain things like food and language and, I mean, not being able to like date one girl because her dad doesn't like Mexican people, but you can date this other girl. Not like the best example, but just the things that happen and the things that result in your life and the choices you make and how you pivot because of it. It all, there are a lot of examples that showed that [00:31:00] their heritage, their culture, who they are, the place that they came from, played a role in that. So I think for me overall, just wanting to know more about where they're from, what this was about, whether it was something, whether it was like a specific part of, Tradition or culture that they actually interacted with or chose to interact with or maybe could have the time or the money to interact with. if you are, working for a farmer and, you know, you immigrated from Mexico in that time, you probably don't have a lot of time or a lot of money to focus on certain things.

And if celebrations and, you know, observing, important or just significant, uh, traditions is just kind of overwhelming and just not really worth it at the time, I can imagine that that's just something that would just fall by the wayside.

Jess: Yeah, 

definitely. 

 [00:32:00] Um, okay, let's land the plane. Okay. Let's land the plane. Couple of last questions.

 so now present day, your mom, your dad, you and your two siblings, what's everyone up to now? 

Taryn: uh, let's see. My dad is, he works full time in Woodland, um, actually just down the street. From their house, which is super nice. he is still a musician. He performs, pretty frequently for the Powerhouse Pub in Sacramento, with his band, Groove Line, and that that uses a lot of time. Uh, and he loves it.

I think it's, it's really great for him. He is always been a very musical person and I think it's something that he, he's gonna continue to do for a long time. And, my mom is, she got into local politics, so she's on the city council Last year she served as mayor of Woodland she's also [00:33:00] been.

Very active in her women's club, uh, Soroptimist, which is a, a volunteer, organization. And, she's been really busy with that. And then on top of that, she runs the food closet, uh, in Woodland, which is a, a nonprofit that provides food for families in the area. my brother, he lives in Sacramento with his, uh, long-term girlfriend. they're both personal trainers and, very active people. he actually competes and coaches jujitsu now. he's started picking that up. Uh, and they also have two adorable. Dogs together, so they're having a great time. and then my little sister is actually going into her, junior year of college soon.

So 

Jess: already. I feel like I met her when she was teeny tiny. Okay.

Taryn: so yeah, she'll be going down to, uh, CSU Long Beach. she spent the last year working in Woodland, and. [00:34:00] Going to community college. So, using, uh, community college in Woodland is a fantastic school. And, state of California has this, really great program where your first, if you're a full-time student, your first two years at community college are free.

So, uh, I think taking advantage of that opportunity was really important. So, yeah, she'll be heading back to school, uh, down in Long Beach in the fall. So very excited for her. And she's also 

Jess: What is she studying?

Taryn: so, uh, performing arts. She is a musician, a singer, a songwriter, and, um, you can follow her on her YouTube channel, she puts out new material all the time.

I think she's called 

Theater Greaser. 

Jess: Talia's YouTube handle has now changed to @liaraeofficial. That's L-I-A-R-A-E. You can also find the link in this episode's show [00:35:00] notes,

and here's another treat, a clip of Lia Rae's upcoming original song, the Witching Hour.

Lia Rae: Because I'm tired and angry of being a lady is calling behavior makes me crazy. By the words sparked from my tongue something wicked this way comes, oh, making magic from my thumbs something wicked this way comes. What do we do now?

Jess: 

And then, and then what are you up to now?

Taryn: I am, let's see, I'll be celebrating my two years working at the Monterey Bay Aquarium in animal care. 

Jess: Woo. Woo.

Taryn: Woo. Woo. Yeah. Um, so living in Monterey, I've been training for, marathons, over the past couple years, so I've got one in May.[00:36:00] 

I'm really excited about and yeah, planning a wedding with, my fiance. 

Jess: Yay. Lot of lot of things.

Taryn: Lot of great things. 

Jess: is there something personal project or something, that you wanna share with the listener besides what we've been talking about so far?

Taryn: I feel like just volunteering when you have the time is really nice. when I've had the chance, Ricky and I, uh, my fiance and I, are big fans of our local Surf rider foundation. they have, Periodic, beach cleans that they'll hold and you can kinda make a competition out of it, uh, to see who can pick up the most trash. Uh, but it feels really good because you're getting together with a lot of like-minded people who love the ocean, want to be protected and you just spend a beautiful day at the beach. That's always a plus. getting to help make it more beautiful and healthy. And I think that when people [00:37:00] spend time volunteering their time for a cause that they really care about or believe in, or it's just an opportunity to be somewhere beautiful for an afternoon and you are at the same time, giving back in some way, shape or form is really good for us. they say that if you are feeling sad, depressed. A little hopeless. One of the best things you could do is an act of service for someone else, because you're not just potentially making that person's life a bit better, a bit easier, but you're also nourishing yourself, and it's a way to self-heal.

So 

Jess: Volunteering can be powerful, not just for the community, but also for the wellbeing of the volunteers. Research shows that even a couple hours a week can reduce loneliness, ease depression, and support health, especially as we get older. But good intentions don't always guarantee good outcomes. The way we volunteer [00:38:00] matters, that's why there's growing attention on responsible volunteering opportunities that are ethical, sustainable, and rooted in community priorities. The most meaningful efforts build on existing strengths.

Rather than replace them,

Take something like building a school. It comes from a place of generosity, but if local workers aren't involved, it can unintentionally take away jobs and weaken community businesses. So when we volunteer, it's worth asking, is this project and how it's run, ethical, sustainable, and truly led by the community it's meant to serve.

Taryn:  So I just wanna plug that volunteering.

Jess: Yeah, and I think it also, part of the self-healing part is that it also gets you out of your own head and your own worries a little bit, which sometimes can help. 

Taryn: Yeah. [00:39:00] Action helps. 

Jess: Last question. do you have any sayings or idioms that work that you heard a lot when you were growing up 

Taryn: I don't know. The one that just I keep thinking of. It's one that, it's the, I think the only one I actually use nowadays, but it's not even anything deep or significant. It's just kind of funny.

Jess: What is it? Yeah, it Doesn't have to 

be deep. I didn't say, I didn't say, I wasn't asking and I think I need to like reiterate this to like my other guests. Like, I'm not asking like what is the deepest, most profound thing that you ever heard that you grew up with that was so like. Intrinsic To who? No, it's just like, what's something that you heard a lot when you were growing up?

That's, 

Taryn: um, 

Jess: could be funny. Totally

Taryn: yeah, I guess like. My parents living with, you know, little kids who are impatient and just want parents to do things for them. my mom got not fed up, but my mom would definitely not wanna do things for us if she knew we were capable of doing it. So if we're looking for something, we can't find [00:40:00] something, just like ask my mom to like, help us look.

And my mom would not, she'd like, this is for you to do. This is your job, you're gonna find it. But she just had like a funny saying where she'd be like, oh, it's behind the sugar.

Jess: everything 

Taryn: And it is like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where it is. She, it just means like move things, move things around. Like take things out if you have to.

Don't just push something aside and like peek and

say it's not there. And it came from her great grandma. Who would say that to my grandma Nancy, when growing up of like, if you can't find something, it's just like, it's behind the sugar. It's always behind the sugar. Just

move the sugar. Love 

that.

So I

love 

that 

I now living with my lovely fiance.

there have have been times where look in our fridge or the pantry and say like, I can't find something, or do we have something? And I'm just like,

move 

things 

around Behind the sugar. 

Like, come on. And usually if he takes things all the, because the couple times that I've gone over to look, I'm just like, [00:41:00] one thing, 

here you go.

And he's just like, okay, I, I need to start doing this. So if it gets a reminder, like it's behind the sugar move, things around not coming over there.

Jess: I love this one and I feel like it feels like I must have. Pre-plan this with you to say this, when Ruben hears this, he will be like, Jess, did you tell Taryn to say this? And I'll be like, no, because literally the ma like Ruben has a really hard time finding things because he just looks, and I'm always like my catchphrase to him regarding this thing is like, look with your hands, know, look with your hands.

Taryn: Look with your hands,

Jess: then he likes to get into this debate with me of like, but if you didn't put it in the right place. And I'm like, that happens in life. Yes, I need to get better at putting things where they should go, but things are not always gonna be where they should go.

And sometimes he just gotta move things around.

Taryn: Yeah. [00:42:00] So I 

love 

that 

Jess: the sugar. Ugh,

Taryn: Behind the sugar.

Jess: can I use that? It's great. Yeah.

Taryn: Oh, I hope it helps Ruben.

Jess: I hope it helps me to be able to not have to get up and, Ugh. Yes.

Taryn: Yep. Just like you. You can find it. If I can find it, you can find it.

Jess: Yeah, exactly. 

yeah. Thanks Taryn. 

Taryn: Yeah, I really enjoyed it. Okay, good. 

Jess: it's like, 

Taryn: Me too.

Jess: it's really special to get to, hear these stories from anyone. Somehow it feels like, you know, when it's a friend that you've known for a while, but then it's like all these other layers that you hadn't gotten to see before.

It's just really nice to kind of get to see these other layers. 

Taryn: Yeah, no, it was really nice to talk to you about it too, because it's like we've never really shared any of this before.

Jess: Love you friend. Thanks for doing 

Taryn: Thank

you. Love you Tell Ruben I say hi. 

Jess: I will. 

 () Is it okay if I [00:43:00] put,

Thanks so much for listening. In the show notes, you'll find ways to connect with and follow Lia Rae as well as Taryn's Dad, Ray and his band Groove Line. My next guest is my friend Hakim, a black American therapist from New York. He shares about growing up in the church.

His grandparents started finding the courage to come out as queer and how he thinks of community today.

He's full of depth and we had a really rich conversation. Subscribe or follow and turn on notifications so you don't miss it.

If you enjoyed this episode, there are a few ways to support this homegrown indie podcast. Share the episode with a friend. Word of mouth really helps us grow.

Donate via the link in the description to help keep these stories of representation coming. Stories that don't reduce our experiences to [00:44:00] stereotypes, but bring nuance in our everyday narratives to the forefront. And finally, leave a comment. It's always fun to hear from you.

A special thank you to Ray Kadina for sharing his cover vocals for Earth Angel, and to Leah Ray for sharing original music and vocals for the witching hour. I love how these clips immerse us even more into the conversation.

This episode was produced and edited by me with advising and executive production support from Ruben Gnanaruban. I'm Jess Lin. See you soon.