Growing up Undocumented: Borrowed Passports and Streetlights – Maria (Pt 1)

What is it like to grow up in a country where you didn’t have legal status to be there?

In the premiere of this powerful three-part series, we sit down with Maria, a twenty-something healthcare worker in the U.S. who grew up undocumented. We trace her early childhood —from the high-stakes reality of crossing the border as an infant using a borrowed passport, to the vibrant, chaotic warmth of a crowded family home, to the sudden isolation of navigating a brand-new public school system.

Before the legal and financial walls of adulthood began to surface, Maria was just a kid racing her neighborhood friends to play outside before the streetlights came on. This is a story about the structural forces that shape migration, the deep resilience of young mothers, and what it truly means to build a life under the radar.

Show Notes & Community Hub Links

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• 00:00 The Backpack on the Bus 
• 00:14 Welcome to Cultureful 
• 01:37 Leaving Mexico: Family Roots 
• 07:55 Crossing the Border: The Cousin's Passport 
• 09:50 Growing Up Undocumented in the U.S. 
• 20:52 Family & Grandma Memories 
• 30:21 Public School & Plyler v. Doe Access 
• 37:25 Universal Right to Education 

Connect With Our Community:

• SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON INSTAGRAM ← Click here to join the conversation on our main thread and share your own childhood memories or how Maria’s story is landing with you.

Historical & Structural Context Notes:

• The Mexican Peso Crisis (1994): A sudden, catastrophic currency devaluation that decimated working-class savings and forced millions of families to migrate as a matter of structural survival.
• Pre-9/11 Border Infrastructure: A transitional enforcement era operating under the legacy INS, relying heavily on manual, porous visual document checks before the centralization of modern biometric data and facial recognition.
• Plyler v. Doe (1982): The landmark Supreme Court decision ruling that denying access to public K-12 education based on immigration status violates the 14th Amendment; guaranteeing a universal right to school that stands in sharp contrast to the adult legal walls that surface later.

Transcript

Maria: 0:00

And then she grabbed my book bag, she threw it on me, and she sat down, and I just looked at her. And at the time, I'm just like, "Who are you? Why are you touching my stuff? Why are you sitting next to me?"

Jess: 0:14

You're listening to Cultureful, where strangers become neighbors. I'm your host, Jess Lin. Today, I'm sharing the first part of a powerful three-part series with Maria, a 20-something Mexican American woman working in healthcare in the US. Maria's is an incredible story of resilience and the interconnectedness of family and community. from crossing the border as an infant using a borrowed passport, to navigating teen motherhood in high school, to fighting for educational and career opportunities despite her legal status. But before all of that, she was just a kid racing her neighborhood friends to play outside before the streetlights came on. in this first episode, we dive deep into those childhood memories of family, friendship, and the early influences that shaped her.

and a note: 1:07

Because Maria grew up undocumented, this is still an incredibly sensitive landscape and topic, to fully protect her privacy, we have changed names, dubbed her voice, and removed specific identifying details from our conversation. along those same lines, while we usually post video versions of our interviews, this series will be audio only. Here's part one of my conversation with Maria Hi, Maria. Hey. Welcome. How's it going today?

Maria: 1:40

It's going good. How are you?

Jess: 1:42

Good. Thanks for coming to share your story. Um, you for having me course. Let's begin with some background. Can you describe a bit, um, what part of Mexico your family's from and what that area is like?

Maria: 1:57

So I'm from a very small, very tiny little town. Um, not much to do. I've only been there once. Um, it's nice. It's quiet. There's beautiful landscapes

Jess: 2:11

And can you describe your family before… What was your family's life like before deciding to move to the US?

Maria: 2:20

If I'm being honest with you, I don't know much of that story just in and of itself because I was very young. I was anywhere between six months to about a year when my mom came over here. I do know that, um, when she did come over here, she had to bring myself and my sister separately, 'cause at the time she only had the two of us. When she initially came over, she came over with me, then she had to go back, um, a little later to go back and get my sister, and then eventually bring my sister over. Um, and then not too long after that, she got pregnant with my little sister and had her

Jess: 2:57

What have you heard about that story in terms of how does she decide to come to the US?

Maria: 3:04

She saw her life not really going anywhere when she was in Mexico, so she just wanted to come over here to try to build a better life for myself and my sister and herself and be able to work and just make something out of her and be able to give us the opportunities that we were given that she was not able to have over there.

Jess: 3:26

the immigration landscape of the mid to late 1990s was being reshaped by the macroeconomic forces in the region. In December 1994, Mexico experienced a sudden catastrophic currency devaluation known as the Mexican peso crisis. the resulting economic shockwaves decimated working class savings, sent inflation skyrocketing, and destabilized employment across the country. for millions of families during this decade, migrating north was a direct response to a sudden economic collapse that left few avenues for survival at home. Um, do you know how old she was when she brought you?

Maria: 4:09

She was about in her early 20s. Yeah

Jess: 4:14

So your sister was there with, was it grandparents or who was taking care of her?

Maria: 4:20

Yeah, she was there with my grandparents and my aunts and my uncles. They took care of her while my mom, um, came over here with me and established everything over here enough to feel comfortable to go back and get her

Jess: 4:33

Was it just your mom bringing you by herself, or was she traveling with other folks? Do you know anything about that part of the history?

Maria: 4:41

I think she was traveling with other folks. So between my older sister and I, we come from a different dad than my younger sister. And at the time, my mom was with him and his family, and that's what kind of allowed her to come over here because they had initially already started, um, coming over here little by little themselves, and they had somewhere to stay, so therefore she was staying with them. Um, and it just made the transition a little easier. It's literally just been us, um, from my mom's side of the family

Jess: 5:15

What was your mom like when she was young?

Maria: 5:18

Honestly, the only thing I know about my mom, how she was in a young stage, is just the fact that she has had this one best friend she's always been friends with. Um, we've met her, we've hung out with her, we've taken vacations with her. She, she is my older sister's godmother, so I get to hear, like, little stories about how my mom was at a younger age through her. But I don't get to hear too many just because we don't get to see her as often. She lives in a different state. But, um, my mom was just, um, like your normal, average girl. She went to school, worried about school things, got into trouble, um, and, like, little mischief things with her best friend. She was telling me about this one time that they went, um, I believe they skipped school, and that they almost got caught by her dad because her dad went to a store, and he almost found them, and they had to hide. Um, I, I honestly don't know much about my mom's childhood. I do know that it was never a dull moment because she has a lot of siblings

Jess: 6:32

And, um, grandparents, what are they like?

Maria: 6:36

Um, my grandma, unfortunately, I only got to meet her when I was an infant, and then she passed away when I was in elementary school, so I don't remember too much about her. My grandfather was very loving, very sweet, um, did anything he could to help anybody out. He was, "Oh, you're in a problem? Okay, cool. Go to him. He'll figure it out. He'll give you the solution." Um, yeah. He was, he was just a very, very nice person. He was funny. He was very passionate about, um, his, his work. He owned, um, a mechanic shop for trailers, so he was, he was very on the fact that he really liked working on trailers and things like that. He owned the shop, and then he also owned a little store in El Centro. They lived in the same town as always. They never moved anywhere, went anywhere. Um, they had… The house they grew up in is on this street right here, and literally you walk up the hill and it's my uncle's house. Um, they're very close to each other, not far. Um, yeah. A majority of my family still resides in that one little town.

Jess: 7:55

Back to you and your mom, how was she able to bring you over the border?

Maria: 8:00

I know very little about how we came over here. I do know that when I initially crossed, I did not cross using any of my identifications or form of identifications. She actually used one of my cousin's passports to be able to get me to cross, because since I was so young, she was so young, like, honestly, they couldn't really difference in sense of like, "Okay, let's look at this picture. This baby is not the baby in the picture." Um, so that's what I do know. I do know that we did use my cousin's passport to be able to bring me over. Wow. Yeah

Jess: 8:40

The late 1990s was a transitional era in US border enforcement, One that existed before the post-9/11 creation of the Department of Homeland Security and the massive centralization of digital surveillance. In the '90s, ports of entry relied almost entirely on manual visual inspections of physical paper documents. While the Immigration and Naturalization Service, or INS, had introduced its first automated biometric database known as I-- known as IDENT, in 1994. the technology was only in its infancy and primarily targeted adult repeat crossers. in this pre-digital era, the lack of centralized databases and biometric verification made manual document oversight highly porous, a system radically different from the biometric tracking and facial recognition infrastructure used today Do you know your mom's documentation status when she arrived?

Maria: 9:44

She was on a visa. She was on, um, just a visitor's visa

Jess: 9:50

Okay. I see. So for the first few years, how was settling in for your mom and your family? Like, what do you know of that time when you were really little?

Maria: 9:59

Um, I do know that when we initially came over, we did, um, move into an apartment. It was a little cramped. It was a little small. I don't remember too much about the apartment, um, but I do know that we moved out of that apartment when my sister was born just because at the time it was her, her partner, and then I believe us two all in the same room. So four people in one room already makes it pretty cramped. Then to add another baby… So we just in general needed more space, so we moved into a house

Jess: 10:36

How is your mom able to support you all?

Maria: 10:39

So she wasn't working at the time. My mom actually, um, relied on her partner for a majority of settling in and being able to financially support all of us. She actually didn't go into working herself until my younger sister went to elementary school

Jess: 10:59

So what did her partner do, and what did she do after?

Maria: 11:03

He was, um, a construction worker, and then when she started working just being, like, a custodian, she'd get the discounts, she'd get the store credit, she'd get, um, all these little benefits, and then she'd be like, "Okay, we're going here. We're going here."

Jess: 11:23

And 'cause I

Maria: 11:23

then she got an employee discount, and I was like, "You know what? I'm not gonna fight it

Jess: 11:29

That's not a bad place to get employee discounts for as

Maria: 11:32

It's not.

Jess: 11:33

they have a lot of stuff

Maria: 11:35

They do, and honestly back then it wasn't as expensive as it is now. So to be shopping for a bunch of kids, you kinda got to go where it works for your wallet

Jess: 11:46

For sure, for sure. Um, that's, yeah, that's an interesting way to help make it work, um, to work for somewhere where, like, there's good discounts.

Maria: 11:54

and you can benefit from it, especially when you have children that are consistently growing, consistently like moving from one size up, um, all the time. Because she had us such close in age to where, okay, if the oldest grew out of it, then it went to me. Then if I grew out of it, then it went to the next one, and we just got to be able to rotate ourselves through each other. So that way, um, whenever we needed something new, it's like, "Okay, we tried to rotate all of this through everybody. It doesn't fit anybody. We just need new clothes."

Jess: 12:30

So your sis- your older sister was the only one that, like, usually got something new?

Maria: 12:36

Not the only one, but she was the main one because she was the first in line

Jess: 12:42

The line, the size line.

Maria: 12:44

Yes, the size line. And growing up, um, we honestly always shared a room. We shared a room up until, um, no, all of us, we were in a room… I honestly don't think we all started getting our own room until, um, the youngest was in high school

Jess: 13:03

Wow. And were y'all close?

Maria: 13:06

At that point, you kinda have no choice. You don't get any space or distance from each other. You gotta be able to fight and do the silent treatment with each other. But that only lasted so long because, again, you're such in a close encounter space with them all the time. You can't run away

Jess: 13:26

So yeah, so, so tell me about your childhood a little bit more. Like, what did you play with? Um, who did you play with? What kind of stuff did you do? Who was around?

Maria: 13:35

Once we moved from the apartment, we moved into a house. Their aunt still owns the house, and I think it's really cool the fact that it's still within the family. But we, growing up, we lived in a house where it was us, um, my parents or my mom and her partner, my aunt, her two kids, my grandma, my uncle and his wife eventually moved in at some point. Um, and we had other people living with us just renting rooms. So it was a very full house all the time. So I mainly had my sisters, my cousin, and then we had neighborhood friends. There were these two friends that lived down the hill that we played with a lot. There were, there was another friend that lived up the hill, a couple houses down, and then another friend that lived in the hill behind my house. So it was just a whole cluster of us. Um, we would get home, we would try to do our homework as quick as possible as we could, so we could get outside. The whole thing was to get outside as soon as possible because we had the rule that as soon as the streetlight came on, everybody had to go home. No if, ands, or buts about

Jess: 14:44

Oh.

Maria: 14:46

And if you didn't get home, you were gonna get in trouble

Jess: 14:49

So then y- you guys were like, "Let's maximize our playtime." Like, "Hurry, finish your homework. Let's go."

Maria: 14:54

Since there were so many of us, we would literally just race and see who was done the fastest. And as we finished, it was not like we had to finish. We had to wait for everybody to finish before we got to leave. It's whoever finished gets to go. So we would finish it, we would show it to our mom and be like, "Cool, we're done." Um, it's like we did it, we put it away. We would just run out of the house and run down the hill and kind of just meet everybody down the hill.'Cause the two friends that I had that lived down the hill, their house was like the meetup spot. We always met up there. We played there. Um, they had a trampoline. They, um, I believe their uncle built us a clubhouse. So we had, we had anything and everything we needed down there

Jess: 15:36

Wow, this is before kids mostly played on screens. This is when kids still mostly played in person.

Maria: 15:42

Exactly, and we were very big on that. Yeah, there was an abandoned truck within the cul-de-sac that we kind of just made our truck, and we just played with it all the time. We'd get in, we'd get in the back, we'd pretend we're driving, we'd pretend, um, you know, just all sorts of kind of things. Um, and then there was a lady that lived across the street from their house, and she was very sweet. She was actually one of the lunch ladies at our school. And so we made friends with her, and, um, she had this, um, this dog that they, they would kind of let loose. He was a German shepherd, very sweet, very loving. He was just like the neighborhood dog. And so then we would go play with the dog

Jess: 16:23

this when your love of dogs started?'Cause spoiler for the listener, you now

Maria: 16:26

it or not, I- I honestly don't know where it came from. And ironically as it is that I have three dogs and they're big dogs, I used to be scared of big dogs

Jess: 16:38

Well, 'cause the big dogs used to be bigger compared to your size,

Maria: 16:41

I know, but with this one dog, I never had a bad experience. I actually had a bad experience with the dog that my family owned. There was this one dog, I honestly don't even remember the breed of it. I don't remember the age. I honestly just remember the fact that it was a female dog and she was very, very aggressive. Um, she gave me a horrible experience. So I kind of leaned on the neighborhood dog to get rid of my fear because he was a very loving dog. I did not ever have a problem with him. Um, but, um, growing up I just had a very strong love-hate relationship with dogs. It wasn't until I moved out of my mom's house and I got my own dog that, like, it just, it genuinely, like, took off and I just really wanted to have my own dog all of the time.

Jess: 17:29

And now you have three.

Maria: 17:30

And now I have

Jess: 17:31

You have your own dog times three.

Maria: 17:34

I do. I have my own little pack. And occasionally I take care of my friends' dogs, so then I just add dogs to my dogs and it's just, oh, my goodness. But I love it. I love it. And honestly, I don't complain whenever they ask me to watch them.

Jess: 17:50

'Cause you're a dog person

Maria: 17:51

I am. I'm a very big dog person. My daughter is very insistent on the fact that she wants a cat and I'm like, No,

Jess: 17:59

She can come to my house and play with my cat.

Maria: 18:01

I will. I will gladly take her because she's a very big cat person. I don't mind the cats, but it's just I don't trust my dogs.

Jess: 18:09

With cats

Maria: 18:10

No, because whenever they see a cat outside, they'll run and dart after it and try to get it and I'm like, "Come here. Come here. It's fine. It's, it's, it's just another animal. Just leave it alone."

Jess: 18:23

But yeah, like dogs and cats really speak different languages. Like a dog's like, "Let's play," and a cat's like, "Oh my gosh, are you attacking me? Get away from me. Why are you so hyper?" Yeah

Maria: 18:33

I have big dogs. They're very hyperactive, but they're the sweetest dogs you'll ever meet. They just don't know how to approach you without being intimidating because they will run after you. And whenever you think a dog's running after you, you don't know whether or not it's a good or bad interaction. Mine just really wanna go up to you because they wanna lick you or hug you or give you some type of affection, but when they're coming at you, they kind of don't know when to stop. It's just like they'll run into you

Jess: 19:05

Yeah. They, their, their love language is just, like, so different. Yeah.

Maria: 19:10

One is very good on showing affection. The other one is very not

Jess: 19:15

I think my cat shows affection. It's just like in very, just like very subtle ways.

Maria: 19:21

I've never I personally have never experienced a cat show me affection

Jess: 19:30

Oh yeah. Like Mike how will like come and like sit on my lap or rub against my leg or like make cookies on my lap or, you know, like nudge me with his head'cause he wants me to pet him and… But it's very, it's like very calm, and it only happens when no one else is around.

Maria: 19:43

See,

Jess: 19:43

want anyone else to see.

Maria: 19:46

And that's my problem with them. You have to, like, be in the moment with them, and you have to have, like, the connection for them to be able to show you the affection. I don't stay long enough to build the connection, so I don't get to see it. So I'm like, "Ah, you're fine," as opposed to a dog who will give you affection from the moment you

Jess: 20:04

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Back to when you were a kid, wait, your grandma was there and your uncle? Was it your mom's mom?

Maria: 20:13

No, it was, um, my mom's partner's mom, so my little sister's grandma

Jess: 20:19

Oh, and the, the uncle also was like your little sister's

Maria: 20:22

Uncle, mm-hmm

Jess: 20:23

Uncle,

Maria: 20:24

So the whole, all the family members that we stayed with were my mom's partner's family members. It was never any of, like, my mom's family. And did, did they feel like they were your family, too? Growing up, yes. I, I never felt anything less than as family.

Jess: 20:43

After the break, Maria shares vivid memories with Grandma and how someone she hated eventually became her best friend Hey neighbor, it's Jess. I want to welcome our newest listeners from Overcast to the Cultureful community. Overcast listeners, I'm so glad you saw our banner recently and found us. Welcome. We're so happy you're here and to see the Cultureful neighborhood growing. And to all listeners, If you've been enjoying this neck of the woods where we hear from other real people about how they live life, where no one is reduced to a stereotype, and no one is put on a pedestal for any traditional markers of success, but instead where we can be human to human together, help us grow this community. Text this episode to one friend who would see how this is a special thing we're building. Thanks. and now back to my conversation with Maria Of the adults that were in your life when you were really young, like, who were you close to?

Maria: 21:48

Um, I was very close to my mom. If I had a problem, my mom . If I needed somebody, my mom. Were you close to like, that grandma? I was. She wasn't biologically my grandma, but she was my grandma growing up. Like, she watched after us- Mm-hmm … when my mom had to work. Um, she took care of us. She actually took care of these two other kids, um, and she'd get paid for taking care of them, and we ended up being really, really close to them- Mm-hmm as well. I forgot about them. We also had them growing up.

Jess: 22:20

It was a full house. It's a full

Maria: 22:22

house. There was literally- Yeah… always something happening at my grandma's house. She was the house we went to for the holidays and things like that. Any memories with Grandma that stick out? Or how would you describe her, and what was she into? She was… She's actually the reason I got into word searches, as, as weird as it sounds. Really? Yes. Um, her biggest thing were word searches, um, watching her little novelas. Uh-huh. Um, making food. Um, so growing up she got us into watching n- um, novelas. Uh, that's how our love with novelas- Uh-huh started to happen, and we would get home, we would watch, like, one or two episodes or whatever came out. It was like clockwork. Like, everybody had to get into the living room. Everybody had to get everything ready, and, um, and then, you know, um, back then we would have commercial breaks, so it's like, cool, this person goes to get this- Snacks this person goes to get this- Uh-huh … this person goes to the bathroom. Like, it would all have, like, it would have to be planned, and then some- one, one person would have to stay in front of the TV and tell us when it was coming back on. Wow

Jess: 23:35

It's religious. Religious

Maria: 23:37

novela

Jess: 23:37

watching.

Maria: 23:38

watching. She is actually the reason. It is. It was a religious routine of watching. It wasn't even novelas, like, after that. It was like we built- Uh … a routine so whenever it came on to our, like, specific favorite shows, we had the whole system already worked out. Um, and she was the reason we got into novelas, um, and she was the reason I got into word searches. Uh-huh. I'm very big on word searches, which I think it's ironic 'cause my husband will literally walk in and see me doing it because I have, uh, my headphones in and I'll do it, and he's like,"You're such an old lady." And I'm like, "Leave me alone." That's, that's offensive. Turns out you learned that from an old lady. I did. Yeah. I very much did, and I loved it I don't know what it is about it. I like little mind puzzle games- Uh-huh … and I wanna say that she is the reason that I like them because, again, she used to do them while we were growing up. Did she do them with you, or do you just, like, watch her that she would… You just noticed that she would do it a lot? Yeah. Uh-huh. I would watch her. She would always get these little books that had, like, a bunch of them in it, and I would just watch her. And then one day she just looked at me, and she's like,"You wanna try it?" I was like, "Yeah." And she, she just gave me the book, and I started finding all the words. What, what was her, um, cultural background and heritage? She was Mexican.

Jess: 25:04

And, and so

Maria: 25:04

was she doing the word searches in Spanish or in English? In English, actually. Huh. Her English was good? Um, no. No, no, not at all. But as far as word searches, um, you kind of… It's, it's a matching game. So you kind of- Uh-huh … you just, you find a word, you make sure all the letters are there, and you just kind of match it up. So it was, it was super easy to her. But as far as her English, she was never really good at English unless, um, unless she wanted to say something funny. Un- unless she wanted to say something funny? Um, in the sense of, like, cussing somebody out- … or flipping them off, you know- And she would use English?… like, little things like that. She had the English for that? Yes. She understood the phrases. Uh-huh. Once we started growing up, and we understood the phrases, and we started saying the phrases, and then they would eventually catch on to us about what we were saying. She caught, she caught on, and so- Uh-huh … in a way, we taught her. You taught her all, like, the, the sassy and, like, the, the more, um- And, um- colorful language. Exactly. And, um- Uh-huh … how to flip a bird and things like that. And she, she took advantage of it.

Jess: 26:21

What

Maria: 26:22

were… Like, do you remember, were there, like, a couple of dishes that she, like, that you'd be really excited- There's so many … that she made? Um, but honestly, there's only two that I would be so excited if I could taste them- Uh-huh all over again. One of them is sofrita de frito. It's just… It's literally just a soup. Um, but it's super f@#%& good. Like, she would make it from scratch, and just her recipe was so much better than any other version I've tried. With what kind of protein would be in it? Nothing. Just

Jess: 26:53

Vegetables?

Maria: 26:54

Um, no vegetables. It would be, um, little noodles that would either be in the form of the ABCs, numbers, or, like, these little stars. Oh. But, um-

Jess: 27:05

Oh, Like, for k-

Maria: 27:06

okay. Like letter soup. Letter soup, yes. And what else would be in it? Um, there would be… She would use tomatoes, onions. Like, there would be vegetables, but it would be pureed. Oh Mm-hmm. It's like a tomato soup And the color of it is like, looks like a tomato soup? But, um, a little more on the orange side rather than the red side. We loved it. Oh,

Jess: 27:31

yummy.

Maria: 27:32

I feel like kids would like that, with like the letters. It's cute. And whenever she would make it- Uh-huh … she would literally say, "The sofrita's done," and we would all run to the kitchen. Everyone would grab their bowl. Um, some of us would put cheese in it. Some of us would put Valentina in it. What's that? Um, and then we would eat it with saltines. What's Valentina? It's, uh, Mexican hot sauce. Oh, okay. Uh-huh. So we would put that in it, and then we would eat it with saltine crackers or just by itself, and then we would just keep going- Yum until the pot was empty. And it wasn't just me and my sisters. It was my cousins. It was the two other kids that she would take care of. Like, anybody that stepped foot into the house knew about it. Tita's sofritas, it was, it was just really good. And then the other one would be her tamales. Hmm. What kind? I would give anything to get her tamales. Um, I think she would do them, um, I wanna say pork with a red, um- Ooh … red spicy sauce, and then she would do another one that was raisins with something else. Um, I don't remember what it was. It was a sweet version of it. Personally, I never liked that one growing up, so I just didn't touch it. So I went after the other ones, which were the, um, the pork-filled ones. Mm. But yeah, um, if I could have her make me anything, like in my life, it would be those two.

Jess: 28:51

Is she still around?

Maria: 28:52

She is not. She unfortunately passed away a couple years ago.

Jess: 28:57

Oh,

Maria: 28:57

dang. I'm sorry. That's okay

Jess: 29:00

Um, your mom and her partner, are they still together?

Maria: 29:03

They are not

Jess: 29:04

Are you still in touch with, like, those family members that are kind of like…

Maria: 29:08

I am not. I actually fell out of touch with them. My sisters still talk to them, but me personally, I fell out of, um, connection and out of touch with them.

Jess: 29:18

Was that hard for you?

Maria: 29:20

Uh, it's an adjustment growing up, um, just because, you know, growing up I had a lot of people I would go hang out with around holidays, and we had traditions, and we, and we had things that we did. So it's an adjustment. But, um, as you get older, you start creating your own traditions, and then I started creating my own traditions with my husband, so it got a lot easier

Jess: 29:44

It sounds like your childhood was full of a lot of friends and neighbors and play and sounds like, yeah, it was just, there was so much community

Maria: 29:55

There was. There was a lot of community. There was a lot of quality time and just building connection with people. Um, I have now fell out of touch with all those people'cause, you know, life happens, things, people moved, but I still have them on social media. I still see how they're doing in life and what's going on with them right now, so. So it's nice getting little glimpses of where they are in life nowadays

Jess: 30:21

And middle school, like, what were you like when you kind of were, you know, getting into your preteen years?

Maria: 30:29

It was a little bit of an adjustment in the beginning'cause I did move around to a few different middle schools.

Jess: 30:36

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Maria: 31:25

Uh, so when I had transitioned, uh, into middle school is when we officially moved out of the house that I grew up in, like the childhood home and my mom and her partner and everybody. We were just trying to get our own space, our own living space. You kinda just need more space than just two bedrooms. So, um, so we moved into a house, and then I don't remember why we moved out of that house

Jess: 31:54

How were you handling all these moves?

Maria: 31:57

Not well. Did not like it. I was not very good with the moves. I did not like the new changes. I did not like being the new girl at a school where it was just me, 'cause I had gone all of my elementary years with my sisters or with my cousin or with my friends who lived down the street. Like, I, um, I always had somebody to talk to. I always had somebody.

Jess: 32:20

You were never the new girl

Maria: 32:21

I was never the new girl, and I was never alone,'cause again, I always had at least my sisters go to the same school with me. So this is my first time in a new school by myself. Did not know anybody. I hated it. Um, I did not adjust well to the first middle school that I went to, and I, I wanna say I did a little bit better on the time we moved to the second school that I went to, because that is actually where I met my best friend. We were best… We're, we're no longer best friends now. Um, we had a falling out, but we were best friends for quite some time, and that's ironically where I met her. She was the reason I was able to transition a little bit better than I did for the first middle school, because I actually had her to lean, lean on and just be like, "Hey, help me."

Jess: 33:15

What were you guys up to? What were you guys into and up to?

Maria: 33:19

In middle school?

Jess: 33:20

Yeah. Middle school I feel like is a really interesting age where, you know, like, like elementary school sometimes kids are starting to get into certain things, but then like interests start to become like more apparent a little bit, and like personalities start to become a little bit more apparent. But you're still a kid.

Maria: 33:36

At the time, boys.

Jess: 33:37

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Maria: 33:38

That was, like, the main thing. besides that, we never necessarily got into an activity. Um, we would kind of just stay to ourselves and just, like, find little things that we would chitchat about and talk about. Uh, she was in a grade above me, so we didn't really run in the same circle necessarily because she was, um, in a grade above. But we would just hang out and talk, and it was a lot of hanging out in school because we both had very strict parents to where we couldn't hang out too much out of school. But if we ever did meet up out of school, it would, it would just be going to the mall, walking around, um, doing a little bit of shopping, just spend the day together, and then go home, and then go back to texting and just talking, um, about anything, everything.

Jess: 34:31

And it was just, like, the two of you?

Maria: 34:32

Yes

Jess: 34:33

Mm, mm-hmm. It's interesting that you had a best friend who was in a different grade. How did that happen?

Maria: 34:37

So we we actually met on the bus. We took the same bus route, and initially, when I first had a real interaction with her, we genuinely hated each other. Like, we could not stand each other. There was this guy that was trying to talk to her on the bus, and he would always try to sit with her, and his brother would always try to sit with me. So one day, we just sat together and, um, it was funny because I was the first one to get on the bus, and I always put my book bag next to me so nobody would sit next to me because I was just like, "Leave me alone. Don't talk to me." I was a very, uh, I'm gonna keep to myself type of person. So I, I stayed by myself, did not talk, did not do anything. And then she grabbed my book bag, she threw it on me, and she sat down, and I just looked at her. And at the time, I'm just like, "Who are you? Why are you touching my stuff? Why are you sitting next to me?" And, um, we just sat like that the whole ride to the school 'cause I was in the morning route, and we didn't say anything. We didn't talk. And then in the afternoon, she decided to do it again. So I looked at her. I was like, "All right, what up? What's up?" Like, "Why are you touching my stuff? Why are you sitting here?" She was like, "I don't know. I wanna sit here." So I'm just like, "Okay." Um, so we sat in silence on the bus ride home. She got off the bus first, then I got off the bus second, and then after that, we kinda just kept sitting next to each other. And little by little, we would talk, and we were like, "Okay, cool. I don't necessarily hate you. I don't not like you." But, um, in the beginning, we genuinely could not stand each other. And if you were to ask her, she would tell you the same thing.

Jess: 36:18

Does she ever tell you why she sat next to you?

Maria: 36:20

I don't… To avoid that guy sitting

Jess: 36:23

Oh, she was trying to sit next to a girl and…

Maria: 36:28

that anybody that was already in a seat so that way he wouldn't sit next to her

Jess: 36:32

Oh, she was… I

Maria: 36:35

And apparently I was just the first one that she saw. So she's like, "Okay, cool. Let me grab your book bag, throw it on you, and sit down." I was like, "Okay."

Jess: 36:44

That is a very vivid memory of how you met a friend. I feel like most people don't have such vivid memories.

Maria: 36:51

she was that vivid. She was, she was that, like, impressionable for me to remember how I met her. And we had many people ask us this, like, multiple times, so we just got to sit there and kind of see each other tell the point of view of, um, how we met

Jess: 37:08

Yeah, because that, that is like a very memorable first interaction.

Maria: 37:12

It is, 'cause it's like, "Why are you touching my stuff? Who are you?"

Jess: 37:16

I'm glad I asked. That was a really fun story, yeah.

Maria: 37:20

It's a very interesting story

Jess: 37:22

Let's take a five-minute stretch break

Maria: 37:24

Okay

Jess: 37:27

That was part one of my conversation with Maria. In part two, she shares about her teenage pregnancy from the vivid memories and feelings of finding out that she was pregnant, to how she, despite all odds, was able to keep her daughter and finish high school with her class. Follow or subscribe so you don't miss it. also, we wanna hear how Maria's childhood story resonated with you. If you're listening on Overcast or your favorite podcast app, just tap the screen right now to open the episode notes. You'll find a link right at the top to drop a comment on Instagram. We read every single note and read some on here, too. a special shout-out this week to our founding supporter, Emily C., who wrote, Love listening to this podcast and wholeheartedly believe in sharing more of these kinds of stories." Thanks, Emily C., for supporting this mission. you can join Emily C. as a Cultureful supporter at the link in the show notes. Whether you're a longtime listener from Germany, thanks for being regular listeners over there, or newer listeners like folks who have just found us on Overcast, we are so happy you're here and that the Cultureful community is growing. Share this episode with one friend who would love these stories and wanna join our community so we can keep growing the Cultureful neighborhood. this episode was produced and edited by me with executive production support from Ruben Gnanaruban. Thank you for listening. I'm Jess Lin. Take care of yourself and your neighbors, and I'll see you soon