Forgiveness

Transcript

Hi Everyone! Glad you’re back with me, I’m Emily and this is the Living on Prayer podcast. We’ve been talking about God’s Love in this podcast series and so far we’ve discussed the definition of love and we’ve dug into the topics of grace and mercy but for today’s topic I want to talk about a part of God’s love that is a bit harder for some of us as humans to grasp maybe but probably more so to replicate. And that’s the subject of forgiveness. I think forgiveness is a tough topic honestly. It is for me, it always has been so maybe it is for you too. But love requires forgiveness. I mentioned in the last episode how much I love to find words that fit my circumstances in life. I always do it, ask anyone who knows me because they’ve likely received something from me to help them along the way whether it was a quote, song lyrics, text, or even a gif. I’m big on laughter! Maybe not so much in this podcast yet but I actually think I’m pretty funny. Some people don’t but some do. I have a pretty big sense of humor and I’m pretty sarcastic at times too. So I think for me my sense of humor does help me when I’m talking to people one on one and especially when either of us are feeling down or vulnerable or in need of love or encouragement. It’s just one way that I try to provide encouragement. I try to provide it through words of encouragement or maybe just laughter to help people when I know they need it. And for today’s topic of forgiveness, I really love these quotes that fit this topic. This first one by Mahatma Gandhi where he said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  And this second one by Mother Teresa that says “If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.” Yeah, so forgiveness is tough, but to love we have do it. And not just for the other person but for us as individuals. If you’re anything like me, over the years, you’ve been hurt by others and you’ve hurt others yourself. Whether maliciously or not. Casualties are had in the game of life. We been casualties in the moves that others have made in their lives. We’ve been hurt, sometimes harshly, sometimes just in slow methodical ways. As is the saying “death by a thousand paper cuts”. And we’ve done the same to others, let’s not kid ourselves about that. We like to think we’re better than that especially as we’ve aged, matured spiritually, or maybe as we’ve just conveniently forgotten over the years. But we’re all human so we’ve all hurt someone at least once in our lives. We’re born in sin so we’re bound to do it and therefore we’re bound to require some forgiveness. And we also tend to want forgiveness in our lives as well.

So let’s dig in and talk first about God’s forgiveness. Let me remind you that God’s forgiveness is a gift. It’s not an entitlement. It’s something that He gives to us willingly but it requires action on our part. There’s a choice on our part to accept it, believe in it, and confess our sins with repentance. God doesn’t force his will on us and I mentioned that in an earlier episode that God created us with a freedom of choice and freedom of morality. So He isn’t going to force us to confess our sins or force us to accept His forgiveness of our sins either. But He does pour out his forgiveness on us. In Matthew Chapter 26, Verse 28 it says “For this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many.” That scripture was in reference to Jesus’ body when the disciples were eating the Passover meal with Jesus the night before he was crucified. For many of us Christians, we have partaken in a similar ceremony in our churches called “The Lord’s Supper” where we symbolically eat a piece of bread or cracker and drink a small glass of wine or juice to mirror the Passover supper that Jesus and his disciples had together. That supper, which was historically recorded in the Bible, captured some very profound words from Jesus Christ himself including Matthew 26:28 regarding his blood confirming the covenant between God and his people being poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many. It says so much to all of us about how God is willing to forgive, willing to provide a way for forgiveness to us all if we want to take Him up on it. It is an amazing gift and another blessing we should be thanking him for every day. 

So let’s talk more about forgiveness. Why do we want it, why do we need it, and how do we get it and how do we give it? Especially if we don’t want to give it and we don’t think we can get it anymore? These are all good questions. Let’s take them one at a time. 

Why do we want forgiveness and why do we need it? As we discussed in an earlier episode, God lives in our hearts. And for God, who is love, who is holy and clean and perfect, He requires a holy, clean, perfect, loving home to live in. Therefore, He will push us to keep our hearts, which is His human home, loving and holy and clean and perfect for Him and for us. Of course He is understanding that we are imperfect, but through Christ’s strength, which is what empowers us, we can do all things. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (that’s my favorite Bible verse by the way so you’ll probably hear me reference it again from time to time).

But how do we give forgiveness, especially if we don’t want to give it?  This was a tough one for me to learn but now that I understand it let me share it with you. We need to understand that giving forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about us. Giving forgiveness IS ABOUT MAKING OUR heart lighter. It’s about making our head lighter too. It’s about making our heart cleaner and holier and purer. It’s about doing what God asks of us. It has less or sometimes nothing to do with the other person at all. We don’t have to give forgiveness directly to the other person either. We can give forgiveness between us and God. We can let Him know that we are ridding our hearts of the anger, frustration, sadness, hurt, bitterness, resentment, rage, vengefulness, and all the other thoughts and feelings we are carrying. Telling Him we are turning it all over to Him and trusting that He is our Lord and will take it all and carry it for us now. Asking Him to replace it with peace beyond all understanding. And trusting Him, having faith that not only is He providing the forgiveness we are requesting, but believing that He will take all that burden now and lighten the load because He loves us so much. It’s a belief in Him to do that for us. Look, I’m not saying you can just get away with not giving forgiveness to someone’s face. That’s not what I’m saying here folks. What I’m saying is that it’s more about forgiving from the heart than it is about forgiving without the real intention. You can say I forgive you and not mean it. You can shake someone’s hand or hug them or call a truce or whatever it looks like that might be called forgiveness on the outside but forgiveness has to come from the heart and it needs to genuinely be gotten rid of from your heart. And I learned that God is the only one I can give it to. I can’t just dump it off in some therapist office or boxing studio or gun range. I couldn’t sleep it away with someone or drink it away or eat it away or exercise it away or even just stick my head in the sand and ignore it. I had to face the hurt and I had to get rid of it and God helped me to understand that getting rid of it was by giving forgiveness, even when it wasn’t due, even when it wasn’t fair to give or justified or deserved. I needed to give it for me. And then I gave it all to Him to take and carry and He exchanged it for peace. I was able to give away that heavy burden, that load, that bag of bricks if you will, and He gave me this lightweight peace because I believe that He would handle it. That’s my faith in Him.

Ok so that’s how we can give forgiveness but how do we receive forgiveness? How do we receive it when it’s not deserved? How do we receive it from someone who isn’t around anymore or who doesn’t want to be around us anymore? And trust me, I’ve had this…probably still do! Well, this is when our Almighty God steps in and does some of His great work. He washes away sin that doesn’t deserve to be washed away. Again, we don’t need another person to look us in the eye and tell us we’re forgiven. As humans, it’s something we want and are conditioned to want or have and yes it would be great to get and feel the forgiveness and closure too. It would make us feel better. But we’re all humans and we all know that we’re wishy washy people too. We could feel one way one day and another way another day. We could like a person one day and not like them the next day. We could forgive someone and then bring the issue back up at a party in a year or at a family reunion in five years. Come on, we know this about how humans work. But that’s not how God works! Real forgiveness comes from God Himself. We screw up, it’s what we do. But God is such a loving, gracious Father. He loves us, He wants us to succeed. He forgives us and then wipes it away. He doesn’t bring it back up to us again. How awesome is that?! If only the people we love would do that too. So for real forgiveness I suggest talking to God. Tell Him what happened, tell Him what went on, ask Him for forgiveness knowing He cares and loves you. I am going to remind us all here though that God is always paying attention to the intention of our hearts. So as we are talking to Him, let’s be sure we are asking for forgiveness with sincere intent and not just going through the motions. Going through the motions will get us nowhere with God. He’s God, He knows all and sees all. So let’s not think we can fool Him. Let’s wait until we mean it and truly have sincerity before bringing anything before our Lord.  

And let me be clear on something here too. God will give you conviction on what you need to do with others, especially if you aren’t sure. I’m not saying that forgiveness is only required between you and God and no one else. If you are in doubt on whether you should ask for forgiveness from someone or request forgiveness from someone, go to God and ask Him for help. I struggled with forgiveness in my younger years. It was such a challenge for me but God was who I went to for help and with trial and error He helped me figure out how to work through my challenges. Do I still have issues with forgiveness, of course? But I know where to go first and I have a process established to help me with those issues. He helped me there and still helps me every day. Let Him help you too.

In closing, let me leave you with this passage, from Matthew Chapter 6, Verses 14 and 15 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

As hard as forgiveness is, it is something that God asks OF us, so I remind you to work on it, to ask God for help when you struggle, and to remember that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you so if you feel like you can’t give forgiveness or can’t receive it then just ask God for the strength and He will provide it. 

Thank you again for joining me today. I’m always glad you’re here! And of course I want to remind you that God loves you so much. He’s proud to call you His and He looks forward to hearing from you so be sure to check in on Him, say hello, tell Him what’s going on, thank Him for every breath you’re taking and every good thing you have. 

Now let me close with the special blessing from Numbers, Chapter 6, Verses 24 through 26 “May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.”

I’m excited to have you back for the next episode! But until then, please be safe. Thank you everyone!