Breaking the Blocks

Finding Your True North When Life Shifts

Rachel Pierman Season 2 Episode 21

Janet Clare joins Rachel to explore the journey of creative growth and authenticity in a world that often feels chaotic and judgmental. Together they reflect on how the pandemic reset their perspectives, helping them realize what truly matters in life and creative work.

• Finding inner calm and creative peace even when the outside world feels unstable
• Confronting the inner critic that asks "who am I to create?" and charging forward anyway
• Understanding that creativity sits at the top of our needs pyramid, requiring all other needs to be met first
• The powerful mindset shift of actively seeking 100 rejections rather than avoiding rejection
• Recognizing that "authenticity is magnetic" - when we're true to ourselves, we attract the right people
• Stepping outside comfort zones with new creative directions while staying true to your essence
• Learning that "it's all cake" - people either connect with your work or simply move on
• Building a broader, firmer foundation for your creative life through meaningful connections

If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend who might benefit from it and leave a review on your podcast platform. It helps others find the show and lets them know it's worth listening to. And if you're a business looking to get your message out there, reach out to rachel@breakingtheblocks.com to explore podcast sponsorship opportunities.

You can follow Janet on Instagram: @janeteclare

www.janetclare.co.uk

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Speaker 1:

This is Breaking the Blocks and I'm your host, Rachel Pearman. Oh okay, we're getting somewhere. We've gone right into the nitty-gritty here, Janet, it's like our lunches. There's no warming up straight in there, Straight there.

Speaker 2:

I don't think I've absorbed it. It's like it's, I don't know. It's like a bad dream or something that I haven't quite processed yet.

Speaker 1:

My lovely guest today is fabric designer Janet Clare. Not only is she a work colleague of mine, but she's also a very good friend who I've known for many years. So this was always going to be a kind of meandering conversation rather than an interview. But I do think that in today's conversation, janet came up with some brilliant pearls of wisdom how to kind of go with the flow, go with your creativity, but also how to grow as a person. It's a very gentle chat. There's no major drama, there's no huge block for Janet to overcome, but it's just one of those conversations where I think you'll find yourself nodding and saying, yes, that's me. Or ooh, yes, I'd like to be able to do that. So let's have a listen to what Janet has to say. Hello, lovely Janet Clare in the studio with me today, and I've just said to Janet I don't know where this is going to go because I never do any preparation.

Speaker 2:

And you said Neither have I. That's good. Good, why would I prepare for a conversation with a friend? I'll email you an agenda. We'll agree what we will discuss will you answer these personal questions?

Speaker 1:

you could ask me whatever you like. I've only had a coffee. So if someone gets something out of our conversation today, janet, that's the idea. That's why I don't do the research, because these conversations are just all about life, how we face our challenges, and everybody has a different challenge, everybody has a different problem, and so I'm hoping that through these interviews, that somebody will hear something from one of our guests and go oh, that is me, okay, I'm going to try that. Okay, great. So I can't prep anything because I never know really what the major blocks are with people. Of course, janet, I do a bit with you because I've known you for so many years, so many years. You were here with me right in the beginning and I think one of our major blocks, janet, was COVID, wasn't it? And that was when we really sort of came together and you were amazing in that time because, I mean, you were responsible for me running my first ever club, which was the take three club, and you came up with the idea and said why?

Speaker 2:

don't you do this. It was very I think that's very mutual, because we all sort of you got everyone together on zoom, which I'd never heard of before I had a meeting in my calendar. It was like we've all, we've just got to rally around and I think there was that real, um, sort of team spirit wasn't there when, when we, at the very beginning, march 2020, it was like right, how are we going to help? And we know how important crafting and being in a community is for people. So I think we started a lot for ourselves and then with the hope that it would help others. But, yeah, I think it was mutual and it's always good to have a somebody to bounce an idea off what we did bounce ideas.

Speaker 1:

I do remember I was actually measuring. Didn't we say where does the camera need to be? Over our hands? And we have tape measure and we're all ordering the same tripod thing off amazon.

Speaker 2:

Whoever sold those must think what is going on. I've got, you know, I know, eight orders in three seconds for the same thing. What's happening, literally, it was like that. It's so surreal. I was at the science museum with with Henry on Sunday that's my youngest and there's a COVID exhibition there and it's just like it's in history. It's now been neatly packaged up into an exhibition at the Science Museum and it's very interesting, but it's so surreal to see it. I don't feel that separation from it yet.

Speaker 1:

Do you? Oh no, that's it, that's in. Oh okay, we're getting somewhere. We've gone right into the nitty-gritty here, janet, it's like our lunches. There's no, no warming up straight in there, straight there.

Speaker 2:

I don't think I've absorbed it. It's like it's um, I don't know. It's like a bad dream or something they haven't quite processed yet. That's interesting, don't you think? Do you think you just boxed it up and moved on?

Speaker 1:

well, I really feel that, although it was a virus that overtook the world, took over the world and shut the world down, so, yes, there is a physical thing that happened to us all. Yes, I think there was also a very interesting. I mean I'm going to use the word spiritual, but you could call it I don't know what else you'd call it really, but just for people who think, oh, I'm not into that kind of thing spiritual, but I think there was a movement there was an energy, there was a mindset shift, there was something that happened to the collective and when I say the collective I mean everybody on this planet, because I believe that we are all connected in some way, although our energy levels are different.

Speaker 1:

But I really feel that, although it was a disease that stopped the world, it was almost like we were all given that reset button.

Speaker 2:

We were all given that chance to stop and look at our lives and think what do we want and how are we going to come out of this and agree what you say, and I've learned a lot of valuable skills and we've built up a very loyal audience because we were there and we remained consistent. I don't think I've actually stopped, had time to sort of process.

Speaker 1:

I don't think it's gone away in the world. I mean, it's amazing how many of those little tester things I'm seeing popping up again on Instagram and people have been struck down by it. So it's definitely not gone away, but I think obviously they couldn't keep the world shut. But let's talk about what it's done to us then as people, janet, because I know you just said there we kept going, we kept going, we kept going and yes, we did, but I think we were also innovating and coming up with new things, which was interesting.

Speaker 1:

I feel in the last three years that I have really gone through a huge learning process and gone through lots of challenges, but I think partly some of that has been kind of karmic cycles in my life that have always repeated the way I've dealt with situations, the kinds of people I've attracted, the kinds of people I've had friendships with, and realizing what those patterns were in my life and thinking I don't want to do those things anymore because they're not good for me, they're not working for me, and I really feel like the old Rachel. It's like a Taylor Swift song. Oh, I'm sorry Rachel can't come to the phone right now. Why? Because she's dead and it's, I do feel, like the old Rachel in COVID times and pre-COVID has now been put to rest and there's a new person emerging.

Speaker 1:

I know what do you feel, janet? Do you feel you're still stuck in this journey somewhere, or do you feel you're not on a journey? Do you feel you can't get on the road? Or are you on the road and coming to the end? Where are you in it all? Because I know that it's affected you deeply and there's been lots of change for you.

Speaker 2:

We're definitely still on a journey. So, no, I think I always do keep myself going. I don't ever want to get to the end of something and I think it's exciting to learn new things and to develop yourself. But you know, we've got a lot of responsibility, haven't we running a small business? And, um, you've got to be authentic and enthusiastic for people who are relying on you to motivate them to do their hobbies and see the importance of giving themselves that time. So, yeah, very much, um, very much work in progress, which I think we should be. Actually, I think we are quite reflective and, yeah, I don't think there's nothing negative about that. Yeah, we just keep going, but I think you're calmer than you used to be way calmer, way calmer, it's just like what, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2:

It really doesn't matter. We've seen, you know you in particular. You've seen the worst of it and doesn't matter and I know you and I have.

Speaker 1:

We've talked about our families quite a lot and the you know the difficulty in. I think a lot of people have generational difficulties in their families. I was talking to one of my lovely guests recently and she was saying you know, our parents really were told by their parents don't cry, don't show emotions, get yourself together, get out there, you know.

Speaker 1:

And I think that that did have a huge effect on us as children, because I don't know why, as children, we were wanting to probably show our emotions, more maybe than they did, I don't know but or where or where we felt like we should be showing our emotions, whereas our parents kind of did agree with, ok I'll, I'll shut up, so we say, well, no.

Speaker 2:

There is a conform. You know you had to conform, didn't you? And school uniform was much stricter, and the length of your skirt, and I think there was a lot more of what will the neighbours think? And I mean, we were. I wasn't brought up.

Speaker 2:

You know children are seen and not heard at all by any means, but I would definitely ask my children's opinions more than you know, know we were when we were young. I think that's what every generation does, though, doesn't it? You break forward and we don't have conventional jobs at all and we have to be very self-reliant on our voice and keeping that uniqueness to us, which feels like you're swimming against the tide a lot, because you know you see all this Barbie pink in the shops or something, and you think, well, I don't do that necessarily, so you've always got to come back to you like a true north. You've got to know what that is and keep coming back to it all the time. I think that's where the waning of energy comes in, because you know you, eventually you get tired and just need to step off yeah, are you feeling like you need to step off?

Speaker 1:

because I know.

Speaker 2:

I am looking forward to a week off. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to a week off and I won't stop being creative, but I won't be trying to design any patchwork or anything like that, but I always, you know, have more time to read and watch more films. You know, you sit and chat, you listen to different music because kids are home and I'll knit and the studio is always here. So, and I do actually love being in this space. So I quite often come here on a Sunday just because it's a nice place to be and all my nice books and my you know, I've got a beautiful candle, you know, and I it's a really lovely space to be. So I do spend a lot of time here.

Speaker 2:

I think you should do something for yourself, absolutely, absolutely. I am getting better at that, but I often have a word that I'm thinking about, that I want to attach myself to, and I have lots I've had savor, where you know it's, living the moment, like if you're drinking a coffee, really pay attention, it's, it's warm in your hand and all that kind of thing. So we've done that, we've talked about that before, haven't we? And little glimmers of things. So, and I don't have to be physically in this space to be working or productive, and and I've done a lot of thinking about what productive actually means as well you get so hung up on what you should be doing. Did I answer that?

Speaker 1:

question. I forgot what the question was. I'm forgetting what most of my questions are, to be honest, but it's an interesting discussion. Do you think you're getting better at that process? I think you are, Jana. I mean, you just said to me that you find me more at peace now, and I certainly am. I do feel like, yes, you certainly did used to beat yourself up quite a lot. You know, if you weren't producing, you weren't at your desk, you weren't coming up with the ideas. So do you think you're getting better at that now? I think I am.

Speaker 1:

I really do think I am people. There's the cuckoo clock that was the bane of my editor's life.

Speaker 2:

The good news is for you, rachel, is that she's an hour ahead, so instead of going over 12 times, which she should have done, she's only gone one.

Speaker 1:

We'll make sure we're.

Speaker 2:

I do think I'm getting better, but I still. I still have to tell myself that it's okay not to be in and it's all coming from me. There's no pressure from anyone else, it's all coming from me. So I think I am getting much, much better.

Speaker 1:

Where did that come from that? You know, I have to be at my desk, I have to do this, that kind of forcing Janet, forcing Janet to do these things, and feeling this pressure and feeling this guilt for not being at her desk. Where did that come from? I?

Speaker 2:

think there is a bit of who am I to have? You know, who am I to draw and get paid for it and who am I to sew you know I'm not the best sewer and who am I to have this beautiful studio? And you've got to work hard to earn it and to deserve it and you've got to be seen to be appreciating it. I don't know, that's a really complicated question, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but that's an interesting answer. I mean to say, you know, do I who?

Speaker 2:

am I? Who do I think I am yeah. Who do I?

Speaker 1:

think I am. Do you judge yourself against other people, then, or did you in the past Only in the fact?

Speaker 2:

that you would daydream about being where they are. So I would like to. I'd love to write a book. I'd love to write a book. I'd love to do this, I'd love to have that.

Speaker 2:

And I do make a note of when we've achieved a goal, and I do have a little list in my purse of things that I would like to achieve and I've I've crossed off a lot of them. So we just keep going, we just keep going, and I do think you have to be grateful and we're very good at that have a few moments. They're not really affirmations, and that I don't repeat a phrase over and over again, but I do definitely have this ritual when I come into the studio and when I'm tired or when there's a big deadline, um, that starts slipping. So I need I know I need to bring that back I need to sit down and do some drawing in my notebook and do a little journaling. Like the candle have a moment and I when I'm tired, and that slips. But it's also how could? Nothing keeps going 365 days a year. So I think I'm getting better at realizing that. It's ridiculous to think I should as well.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly yeah. You cannot keep going at that pace, can you? Because you'll just burn yourself out.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and it won't be good anyway. It won't be good anyway.

Speaker 1:

With your lovely free motion that you do, because of course we, we all know Janet Clare for another part of your business and you is definitely the free motion and your lovely drawings that you do, because I see that for you as well as very much a meditative process.

Speaker 2:

There is something about letting yourself settle in and something you're very comfortable and safe doing. So that would be the free motion. I would write my name, I'd write a phrase, I'd draw some faces and I'd start doing houses and things. And it's a ritual again, isn't it? Like you've got to come in and sort of center yourself and give yourself that time just to sink into it, and I'm very bad at being interrupted.

Speaker 1:

I've got a question for you from that Janet and you might just go. How am I supposed to answer that? And I have no idea, but it just came into my head as I'm listening to you. Like you just said there, you don't want to be interrupted, you're in the flow. It's almost like a meditation. Now, all of that to me is saying the word safe, like safety. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So why do you think it's so important for you to feel safe in order to create I can actually answer that.

Speaker 2:

You know the. I won't remember his name. Is it Maslow who did that pyramid of needs?

Speaker 1:

I don't know.

Speaker 2:

And at the bottom you've got shelter and you know that you've got a roof over your head. You know you've got food, and then you need sort of social connections, and then you need energy, you know whatever. At the very, very, very, very, very top is creativity. So everything has to be in place. So if you wake up and I don't know you've got a headache or you're worried about something, or I don't know the Wi-Fi, or you're worried about something, or I don't know the wi-fi is down, or you haven't got any lights or something, even though I'm completely spoiled and you haven't got anything to worry about, compared to millions of people on the planet, your little safe pyramid is not quite lined up yes, and you can force yourself to.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I'm a professional. They say you know, um, waiting for inspirations for amateurs. We haven't got that luxury, like if you had a migraine. You have to turn up for this podcast because you've promised me that you're going to be here. I've cleared my morning to talk to you and although're friends, that's kind of got to be it, because you need the content. You can force yourself through it. If you force it, it's never going to be the best. So there's a very delicate little operation. It's like I've never been hungry. I've always had a safe roof over my head, but still you have to have enough of that pyramid stable too.

Speaker 2:

And a lot of people struggled in lockdown, didn't they? Because you're all right, you're in your nice comfortable house and we were. We were talking on zoom, and yet we're still very unsettled, like we're surrounded by everything, all the things you said you were going to get to, all the films. We said we were going to watch all the books. We said we were going to read the gardens that we could be tending, completely spot, rotten, and yet it was very hard to center yourself yeah it's like the little gold dust right on the very top.

Speaker 1:

I saw a great quote the other day actually, I know you love your quotes. I loved yours. I loved yours about. I'll never forget this when you said authenticity is magnetic. I mean that's just three words that are absolutely true in life. Authenticity is magnetic. You can fake things and you can be false and you can do all sorts of things. You will attract all of that into your life and eventually it will all fall away.

Speaker 1:

It's not built on anything, but if you are, authentic yeah, if you are authentic with yourself and authentic with other people, then the people who want to be around you and your authentic self will be there. But there was another great phrase I heard the other day. I find if I make decisions with my heart, they are generally the right ones. I took that as a kind of gut feeling If you feel in your heart and your soul, because I think heart and soul are often combined as a word?

Speaker 2:

are they?

Speaker 1:

Is it in your heart and soul that people say soul as well. So I think if something is in your heart and soul, it's in your gut, then you will go for it and you'll know it's right. And I feel like that ties in with that aspect of being safe as well. If you are safe, if you're feeling it's right from your heart, your soul, you will be able to create.

Speaker 2:

No one's ever finished. We're never finished, are we? You've got to keep going, but I think we've got very vulnerable jobs.

Speaker 1:

That's another question to you, janet. How do you feel about being so vulnerable Because you are judged? You are putting yourself out there on the line. So, once again, is that something you've got better at, because I know in the beginning, with me, not with me, but I mean me for me, and facing the world and doing what I did, presenting and acting.

Speaker 2:

A world of rejection, a world of sometimes horrible comments absolutely, I've got much better at it and I again, we all support each other, but I saw an artist or creator on Instagram. She's actively trying to get a hundred rejections. Okay, so instead of I really want to design a fabric collection for Moda, and then Moda, you know, you're desperately pinning on them saying, yes, you flip it and you go. I need to submit to 100 fabric companies. Right, I'm trying to get 100 no's, because when I've got 100 no's, then I will have a lot of. I'll have 100 answers of why this didn't work or what happened, or time, and I've developed and I've grown a thicker skin and I've removed myself from it. And then that is valuable information.

Speaker 2:

And this little comment that she'd made was it's impossible to get 100. She cannot get 100 because people say, yes, you can't try that hard and not get somewhere. So I'm getting much better at that. Because you flip it and you just think do you know what? They're never going to find me. They're never going to find me. You have to be. They're never going to find me. You have to be sharing what you've done so that people who might like it can see it.

Speaker 1:

That's so good. I love that. I'm going to look for 100 rejections because, as you say, in doing that you will get lots of positives along the way, because you can't just get, and you know what, if you get 100, you'll get one, you'll get one. After that, 100. You'll get one, it will come through. But, as you say, you're putting yourself out there and that's what you have to do. As an artist, as a creator, but, I think, as a human being, jeanna, you have to lay yourself on the line. You do, because if you just keep it all in and you won't be vulnerable, you won't show yourself, you are not ever going to find yourself and find your people.

Speaker 2:

No, no, no, and you need to know quick, you need to know quick, it's saying what you want.

Speaker 1:

I said this to so many of my guests on this podcast that you only learn by making mistakes, and so actually nothing is ever a mistake, and if you are, if you have put time and energy into something and it's not worked out, don't be angry about it. Or, if you are, give yourself an hour, go and punch a bag, you know, do something, let it out of your system, but then try and look for the positive and be grateful about it. Be grateful for what you've learned from the experience. Because you have learned, because you have learned and, as you said, I think if ever we get to the where we think, right, that's it, I've learned everything, I'm done. Well, then, I think you've got a real problem because we're not done until the last day on this planet, because on the last day on this planet, there is still a chance to say that thing to that person that you want to say. Make that call if you are able.

Speaker 2:

You're still able to do these things. So, yeah, we're going to keep connected. Yeah, yeah thing is, it's just a constant process. Yes, and I think you forget that, but yeah, that that switching around, so you're you're okay to make like, show yourself, no one cares no, I think you know.

Speaker 1:

It's another thing that I've read along the way that we're all sitting there thinking that everyone is caring about what we do, and they're not.

Speaker 1:

They're caring about themselves no one's even looking at you, no one's even looking at you, and if someone doesn't like your work, jonah, they would look at it and go oh, don't like that, and immediately walk away. They're not going to go. Oh, I don't like that. Now, why don't I like that? Well, I don't like this and I don't like that, and oh, I'm actually going to sit and look at it for another hour, so, because I really don't like it.

Speaker 2:

And then I'm going to tell John and Clara people generally don't do that, no um it's like slices cake.

Speaker 2:

I explained this to my boys when I know somebody at school didn't like them or something. But okay, if I go and bring you a slice of cake home, you're just happy that you've got a slice of cake. Right, it doesn't matter what it is. You don't ask me what other cakes were there that you didn't pick for me. You're just happy that I brought you home chocolate cake. If I take you to the bakers, you're going to go up and down and agonize over which one you want and eventually I'm going to say decide now, or you know we're not having one, you've got to choose. But any one of them is all cake. It's all cake. Yes, it's all cake it's all cake.

Speaker 2:

It's all cake, so there's really no drama. You know, I look at I don't know Kay Fassett. I think his fabric's amazing, I think his crops are amazing, but they're his quilt, they're not mine and you can't be him exactly, and why did you even try?

Speaker 1:

why would you even try? But I want to ask you, janet, this is a big, this is a very big question. So we know who janet claire is a bit more now because we've had the interview with you, but we know. When we see blues and browns and little drawings, we know Janet Clare. Is Janet Clare ever going to produce something in shocking pink?

Speaker 2:

I do blues and indigos and I keep coming back to them and I absolutely adore them. We went for a walk with the dog and it was late summer and a lot of the English flowers in late summer sort of asters and um, michaelmas, daisies, cyclamen, and they're all that sort of pinky, lilac-y type color. And then we get to the park and there's a chocolate labrador called muffin and he's got a lilac collar on. So I had chocolate brown and lilac, chocolate brown and lilac and paints and I came to the studio, did the whole like the candle, make a coffee, sit down with a sketchbook and really just try and center myself, started playing with sepia ink, got some lilac-y paint on the go and painted this, that one flower, yes, that flower, yes, yes. And I thought I really like that, I really like that.

Speaker 2:

And Moda had first refusal on my designs and Moda said yes. So we've now got pinky, lilacac-y, brown and what's happened? Is that all right? Some of my core audience, who only want me for indigo, may think, oh, I don't want that, but it's introduced me to other people and that's really exciting. It's very nervous, it makes you very nervous because it's not so safe.

Speaker 1:

That's brilliant, janet. That's brilliant. Yeah, it's a shock, isn't it? I'm not, I'm speechless. You are shook. You're physically shook. No, that is amazing.

Speaker 1:

Uh, I was not expecting that, um, but I think also, you know, I will say, janet, that you are now blooming lovely, um, because you know you've always been blooming lovely, but you are blooming, blooming lovely, because you know you've always been blooming lovely, but you are blooming. Look at you. So you know, as you've said, this, three years have been a process, it's been a journey. You're now stepping outside your comfort zone. You're feeling vulnerable enough to be able to do that, but having a faith in yourself to do it. I love that.

Speaker 1:

You know, and I think these things seep in our brains the person who said I'm going for a hundredions and I don't know when that came, with you and your material, but you know, maybe you just a little bit, has gone in there and you've gone. I am going to do something different and if I get rejected, it doesn't matter, and it didn't, you didn't get rejected. So I think that is the big lesson to take from this, and I know, you know, from talking to you, janet, on a personal level, there have been a lot of struggles in the last three years, as there have for me, some family-based, some financial-based. The whole world is in financial crisis, yeah, so I know there have been difficult times, but you are coming through it and that's just having we are and we're stronger.

Speaker 2:

And I think our little pyramid, yeah, it's getting firmer base, it is getting is getting firmer base it is. It's getting a broader, firmer base and we're getting more and more layers. You know, the more that we talk to each other and meet up for drinks in London and go to art galleries, the more that you're just strengthening everything we have to. Yeah, I do think those sayings, although they are oft repeated and they're on fridge magnets, I think, I think they do get to the crux of things very quickly, don't they? Yeah, yeah, and authenticity is magnetic and she believed she could and so she did. Yeah, you, I just have to keep dragging yourself back to those you do. You know, I like the painting of the flower. If Moda don't, yeah, it's a painting, it's not you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm very pleased, though I'm pleased. Oh, look at my baby girl. She's grown so much. Well, listen, janet, it's been an absolute pleasure, as it always is. It has been lovely climbing into your little brain Not little brain. You've got a big brain, massive brain, massive brain. It's been lovely talking to you and learning a bit more and you've come out with some real notes of wisdom there and some good phrases, and that is all I ask for with this little podcast. And you're doing good work and keep it up. I shall try my best. Just keep it up, I shall try. Thank you so much, lovely Janet, you're welcome.

Speaker 2:

You're very welcome.

Speaker 1:

Just before you go, lovely listener, can I ask you a favour If you have a friend who you think would enjoy listening to this podcast, would you mind please telling them about it?

Speaker 1:

It helps me to spread the word and you these telling them about it.

Speaker 1:

It helps me to spread the word and you never know, they might get a life lesson out of it or, at the very least, just have a lovely 40 minutes of relaxing time for themselves. The second thing to say is that if you have enjoyed this, it would really help me if you would give me a little quick like or a comment, especially if you're listening on one of the podcast platforms. It just means that when anybody lands on the page, they can see that people have reviewed it, they've liked it, enjoyed it and got something out of it. So if you wouldn't mind leaving me a review, that would be amazing. And the final thing to say is that if you are a business and you're thinking how do I get my message out there? Well, you could do it on this podcast. All you have to do is reach out to me, rachel, at breakingtheblockscom. The details are below in the box. Thank you so much to everybody for listening and enjoying and saying the lovely things that you're saying.

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