#105 Stop Body Shame: 3 Questions to Build a Healthy Body Mindset

One imperfect meal should not make you feel like you have failed your body.

But for so many women, one choice outside the plan can trigger guilt, critical self-talk, and the pressure to start over again on Monday. What began as wanting to feel healthier can quietly become body shame, emotional eating patterns, and chasing a version of health that feels impossible to maintain.

This is why a healthy body mindset matters. Not because you need another rule, a stricter plan, or more punishment, but because the way you think about health shapes the way you treat yourself.

There is a big difference between building a healthy body and chasing a perfect body. One supports your energy, confidence, mood, and self-respect. The other keeps you measuring, comparing, and believing you are only allowed to feel good once your body looks a certain way.

In this episode, we unpack three self-reflection questions for health that will help you define what health really means to you, understand the difference between a healthy body vs. perfect body, and notice what may be holding you back from the results you want.

Listen to the full episode now and discover how to stop body shame, build body confidence, and start approaching your health with more clarity, compassion, and self-trust.

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Transcript

Welcome

Billy Boss 0:02

I'm Billy Boss, and this is the Billy Boss show where healing builds confidence. You don't get what you want, you get what you believe you deserve. So if you're a woman who truly believes she deserves more, more healing, more confidence, more support, more love, more freedom, and more from life, then this podcast is for you. This is the space to unlock the pathway back to yourself, regulate your nervous system, and rise into the future version of you with great trust, truth, and confidence. Let's go. Thank you for joining us again here this week. Happy Tuesday. And if you're new here, welcome and make sure to thank the person who sent you our way. We are really grateful that you're

Introducing the health mindset exercise

Billy Boss 0:52

here. Today I want to take you through an exercise that has been pivotal in my own journey toward transforming my health. Like many of you, I have faced so many health challenges, and this episode is packed with tips and actionable steps that will change the way you approach your body and your overall health. Now, people often ask me how I manage my weight and how I've lost weight in the past and how I've gained more confidence. And honestly, I can make the full episodes on all of those three questions that I have been asked. But today I really want to focus on something very, very, very important. And that is the key to understand what health means to you personally. And another thing is to identify the specific things you need to focus on. Now, to help you with this, I put together some self-examining questions that you can ask yourself, and something that I always come back to. Those three questions. Whether I'm a little bit out of whack with my weight or health, this is what I come back to. So question

Question 1: What does health mean to me?

Billy Boss 2:16

number one. I want you to ask yourself, what does health mean to me? See, nothing has the meaning till you put the meaning to it. But what does health mean to you? So my definition of what health means to me, maybe it's vastly different than what it means to you. So first and foremost, you need to define what being healthy means to you. This definition can vary greatly again from person to person. Now, if you turn to your spouse and ask them, him or her, what is definition of health, maybe it's not going to mature. So look for your own version. For some, it might mean that having the energy to play with their kids, for others, it could be about managing a chronic condition effectively. And for me, for a while it was getting up in the morning not feeling so tired, even though I had eight hours of sleep. So ask yourself, what does health mean to me? And be honest with your answer. Your definition of health is personal and unique, and understanding this will be your guiding light. So, what does health mean to me? What does it mean to be healthy? To have a healthy lifestyle. So that's question number

Question 2: Healthy body versus perfect body

Billy Boss 3:48

one. Question number two, I want you to ask yourself what is the difference between having a healthy body and a perfect body? Now, this is such an important question to dive into because so often we focus on perfection. Can you relate to this? We focus on what we don't have rather than appreciate what we do have. We tend to fixate ourselves on that number on the scale or the dress size instead of how we feel and the overall well-being of our bodies. And after all, there is a huge difference between a healthy body and a perfect body. Now, a healthy body is one that functions well, has energy, and can perform daily activities comfortably. Now, a perfect body, on the other hand, is often that body that we are thriving that maybe we have seen uh on social media. So understanding this distinction is crucial because striving for perfection can certainly lead us to frustration and disappointment. Whether when we are focusing on health, that can bring us more joy and fulfillment. And each time I ask myself this question, what is the difference between having a healthy body and a perfect body? I always come with different

Redefining health across different life seasons

Billy Boss 5:20

answers. Sometimes for me it would be just to wake up in the morning without feeling tired. Sometimes for me it would be just to show up or show consistency. It depends where we are in our life. When I started asking myself those questions a while ago, maybe even a decade ago, I actually had different definition of what health, healthy body or healthy lifestyle looked um looked like for me. Back in the day, I was wanting only to be able to open my eyes in the morning just to get out of bed. Doesn't matter what energy levels I had. Now, if you're familiar with my journey, yes, I did struggle with severe chronic depression and anxiety. So we are all on different journeys in our life where our health is. So please, my dear friend, make the distinction. What is the difference between having a healthy body and a perfect body? What is that specifically for you? There is so much more coming in this episode that you don't want to miss. But first, I want to share this with you. This episode isn't just for you and me, it's meant to be shared. Now, if something in today's conversation inspires you, don't keep it yourself, don't keep it a secret. Share with a friend, a loved one, or someone who needs to hear this message today. Post it, tag me, and let's spread the love together because you never know whose life you might change with just one share. And now more of this incredible conversation together. And that my friend brings us to question

Question 3: What is preventing my results?

Billy Boss 7:24

number three. And question number three is what is preventing me from having the results I want? Now, this question is where you will gain the clarity on all the obstacles that are blocking you from achieving your healthy goals. By asking yourself this question, you're acknowledging any thought patterns or stories that you're telling yourself about why you can't be healthy. Now, this is the moment to be very vulnerable with yourself and without any judgment. And it might take for you sometimes to go through this because we always have some type of stories that will justify why we are the way we are and where we are in our life, especially health-wise. We will always find some excuses and justifications. So please do not judge yourself, but be vulnerable. Stay true to yourself, reflect on what has been preventing you. Maybe this is the time for you when you recognise and say it out loud to yourself that hey, I'm an emotional eater. Now, if so, where is this stemming from? Or maybe you will say, Well, I do have all or nothing mindset, where if I don't meet my expectations perfectly, I revert to all habits and critical self-talk. So when you ask yourself, what is preventing me from having the results I want in my healthy journey, you might come to realisation that your self-talk sounds something like this. I know I would never be able to be healthy. Or maybe you can say to yourself, or you have said to yourself, I can't stick to my plan. Or I'm so stupid for thinking I can do this. This is so impossible. So in this part of asking yourself this third question, I'm just inviting you to recognise these patterns and understand that they are your obstacles. And certainly the good news in here is that you can overcome them, but just be aware what is it that you're saying to yourself? So, my friend, here you have the three key questions to ask yourself to guide you towards a healthier body and healthier life. What does health mean to me? What is the difference between having a healthy body and perfect body? And what is preventing me from having a or the results I want?

Applying the three questions with positive, specific language

Billy Boss 10:18

Something that I have learned throughout my transformational journey to make every step of the way joyful is not to overwhelm myself with so many actionable steps, so many things to do. So for now, I'm just going to leave you with these three questions to pay attention to. And when answering these questions, try to give so much details, meaning to it, be specific, articulate it. Let your subconscious mind understand what is it that you are exactly talking about. Because we know the power of subconscious mind. And use your language carefully to write out or to answer those three questions. What is it exactly that you want? Now, here's a little trick in here. When you ask yourself these three questions, I really want you to write what is it that you want rather than you do not want. And here's the example of this. Let's say you ask yourself that first question, what does health mean to me? And we already spoke about well, um it might mean different things to different people. To some it means like having more energy to play with kids, to some it might mean waking up in the morning being full of energy. But what I'm asking you not to do is not to focus on what you don't want, like saying, I don't want to be tired. The first thing in the morning, I really don't want to feel tired, I don't want to be puffed up after walking one kilometer. So be mindful of what you want versus what you don't want, and keep reminding yourself only to answer those three questions in what is it that you really want, and we are looking for that positive outcome. I would be so grateful if you could leave us a five star review and rate our show. Your support helps us reach more incredible people just like you.