Where Kids Find Their Future, Not Their Past

Cal Farley's Boys Ranch is a residential childcare facility serving boys and girls ages 5-18 who need structure and support in a caring environment. This Christ-centered community operates like a small town with its own school, activities, and services, providing children with a fresh start regardless of their background or their family's financial situation.
If you're interested in learning more about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch or would like information about placement, please visit calfarley.org or call 1-800-657-7124.

Contact:
podcasts@calfarley.org

To Donate:
https://secure.calfarley.org/site/Donation2?3358.donation=form1&df_id=3358&mfc_pref=T

To Apply:
https://apply.workable.com/cal-farleys-boys-ranch/j/25E1226091/

For More Information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch:
https://www.calfarley.org/

Music:
"Shine" -Newsboys
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Transcript

Introduction to Brain-Based Parenting

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting, the Boys Ranch podcast for families. We all know how hard being a parent is and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling. Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions, utilizing the knowledge, experience and professional training Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer. Now. Here is your host. Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer Now. Here is your host. Cal Farley's Staff Development Coordinator, joshua Sprock.

Speaker 3 0:29

Hello and welcome. Today we're going to do something a little bit different. We're going to talk about who we are, what type of kids we serve and the type of training we give our staff, and how that influences the information we provide for you in this podcast each week.

Speaker 2 0:40

To do that today, I'm joined by Suzanne Wright, vice President of Training and Intervention. Chloe Hewitt, youth Programs.

Speaker 4 0:46

Administrator Jolie Janelle, manager of Intake and Admissions Department, and.

Speaker 5 0:50

I'm Jackie Elmore. I'm the Senior Information Referral Specialist of our Admissions and Intake Department.

Speaker 3 0:56

All right, I want to start today by reading an email that we got from a listener. Hi BBP team, I recently started listening to your podcast and I'm really enjoying it. There's just so much helpful insight about raising kids. Since I'm not from the US, I'm a bit confused about something. What exactly is Boys Ranch? From the name, I'm guessing it might be a school or a program for kids who've had a tough time, but I'd love to understand more about who you are and what your background is. Thanks again for the great content. I'm looking forward to learning more.

What Is Cal Farley's Boys Ranch?

Speaker 3 1:20

Jill G, chesterfield, england. Looking forward to learning more. Jill G, chesterfield, england. First of all, I want to shout out all of our international listeners. We have listeners from every continent except for Antarctica, but it really blows me away that we have such a loyal following in England, germany, sweden, australia, new Zealand, canada, south Africa and many others as well. So I'm grateful that people from all over the world tune in to listen to Brain Based Parenting. Secondly, thank you, jill, for emailing us your question. So today we're going to try and answer your question about who we are, what type of kids we serve and the foundation of our training.

Speaker 2 1:51

So I'd like to start by asking y'all what is Cal Farley's Boys Ranch? Cal Farley's Boys Ranch is a residential child care facility that serves both boys and girls. Contrary to the name Boys Ranch, we serve both boys and girls from ages 5 through 18.

Speaker 6 2:03

It was also founded by Cal Farley's, who really had a heart for kids who didn't have a home to go to or were homeless or just didn't have a good family situation. So really the heart behind it was to give an opportunity to some kids who didn't have a home or were in tough situations and help them learn and grow while working and also gaining some skills and knowledge to be successful people once they grew up.

Speaker 3 2:23

One of my favorite Cal Farley quotes is the best way to get rid of a kid's past is to give them a future, and I think that's a big part of what we do out here.

Speaker 5 2:31

Yeah, it's a really unique environment. The kids live here, they go to school here, they are voluntarily placed by their family in most cases. So it's a really unique opportunity for kids to kind of get a new start, enroll in a new school, have a chance to live in a new environment.

Speaker 3 2:46

What about the location of Boys Ranch? Why is that important to what we are?

Speaker 6 2:50

So we're about 35 miles outside of Amarillo. I couldn't tell you what direction because that's not my forte.

Speaker 5 2:55

Northwest.

Speaker 6 2:57

But I can tell you that we are our own little town. We have a post office, we have a country store, a grocery store and gyms and a pool. You know somebody that we were was our senior administrator up until like last year used to call us a unicorn, which I very much agree with Very unique.

Speaker 3 3:14

And we're out in the middle of nowhere too, which is really interesting. It's mesquite fields and just nothing. And then, all of a sudden, you drive down this hill and it's this beautiful oasis.

Speaker 5 3:28

And it's kind of an Old West town. It was built on an Old West town, right Right. It's very rural and for some of our kids, who come from very urban environments.

Speaker 3 3:32

it's a real shock. I always wonder what kids coming from like Florida think driving from Amarillo to here what am I getting myself into? Or kids?

Life at Boys Ranch

Speaker 5 3:37

from Manhattan. I think we've had some kids from New York City, LA, so it's a big, big change.

Speaker 3 3:42

So what type of kids does Boys Ranch serve?

Speaker 4 3:45

So we serve kids that are considered basic care. They're struggling in different areas, like their relationships with family members. Maybe they're struggling at school. The kids that are in our program, they have to be able to live in a group home environment and, you know, attend our public school that we offer for them, the kids also. We want them to be participants in our program. So we do require that they be willing to be here.

Speaker 4 4:06

We won't do a non-voluntary placement but, the kids are just struggling and sometimes they, like Jackie said, they just need to start over. They need an opportunity to be in a different school environment, be around people who maybe don't know their past, and get a chance to move forward and change some behaviors.

Speaker 5 4:20

And they come from all different backgrounds and from many different circumstances. Some of them are here because their family can't support them emotionally, financially. It could be a variety of reasons. Some of them do have some behavioral struggles, maybe academically, or they're struggling behaviorally at school or in the home, and some have parents that have really fallen on some tough luck and can't care for them. For a variety of reasons.

Speaker 6 4:44

Yeah, I really like. Julie, you brought up that they're in a group home. So for those that we haven't talked about before, there's anywhere from eight to 10 in a house. The reason we get that number is we do at most two in a room. Some of our homes have five rooms, some of them have four rooms and then, luckily, we are in the process of remodeling to where we can give single room occupancy, so where they can each have their own room and bathroom. So those homes are up to nine kids and they each have their own room and bathroom, but because of that they have to share a room a lot of the times, and so sometimes that can be difficult for kids who haven't, or not. Everyone loves the group home atmosphere, but the single room has provided us an opportunity to allow that to help out more.

Speaker 3 5:19

What's the supervision like in the home?

Speaker 2 5:21

So we are licensed by the state of Texas as a GRO, which is General Residential Operation, and so we follow all the licensing guidelines set forth by the state and our supervision ratio required by the state is one adult to no more than eight children at a time. And Chloe mentioned we're a unicorn and you know, in that way we're one of very few facilities that has more staff than we have children. So you know she also mentioned we're a unicorn and you know, in that way we're one of very few facilities that has more staff than we have children. So you know she also mentioned we're a small town, we function as a small town, and so we also have all the staff that ensure our town can function, and so some of those staff, in addition to house parents or caseworkers or counselors, are also vocational mentors for our kids, and they count in the ratio too. So again, we have more adults than kids, which is wonderful.

Speaker 3 6:11

So what are some of the misconceptions about kids who come to live out of Boys Ranch?

Speaker 2 6:15

Probably my least favorite one is hey, isn't that a place where bad kids go, which I think is a common misconception? I think that even for the people who live in the pin handle of Texas and are somewhat aware of Cal Farley's Boys Ranch, they tend to think that it is juvenile detention, and it's not. It's simply a home away from home for kids who need some extra supervision and structure and support in order to become productive citizens. So that's always a comment that causes me to take a deep breath and calm my brain before I make an answer.

Speaker 5 6:50

Yes, that is a very common misconception and I tell this story a lot. But I ran into a woman in the community whose friends son had been placed at Boys Ranch and her daughter told her don't worry, mom, he's on the good side, he lives on the good side of Boys Ranch. It's all the same side. There's no good or bad side. It's all the same side and it's not. It's not that really. But yeah, people around here have some misconceptions about the kids that are placed with us.

Speaker 4 7:16

And they also think that they have to relinquish their parental rights or that CPS has to remove them to place with us. And so we're talking to families when they call us in the intake department about. You know we don't want custody of 120 kids you know, so we want them to maintain their parental rights. We do expect them to stay involved with what's going on and you know the goals that their kids are working on and being a part of that process for change for the kids and for the family.

Speaker 5 7:41

So a lot of them think that they will be expected to relinquish their rights, which is not true, or that they won't have any contact with them, that we'll restrict their contact with them for 30 days, and it's not the case.

Speaker 6 8:00

That's a good conversation to have, because also a misconception is that they might come out here and stay until graduation, and we have both. We have where. If the family and the child feel like that is what they need, we can start that, or we can do reunifications, which is where we can do a year, we could do two years and we really get the family as a family unit in a better place. So it's not necessarily just about working with the kids, but our goal is also to create a better family system overall, and so that is a misconception that they just stay forever.

Speaker 2 8:19

As we have staff that come through new employee orientation. I've had so many staff make the comment that as a child growing up in the Texas Panhandle they were threatened with Boys Ranch, right, so that their parents would say if you don't straighten up, if you don't start acting right, I'm going to send you out to Boys Ranch. And then they come to Boys Ranch and they see our facility, all of the activities offered, and they say, wow, if I'd known I would have begged my mom to send me out here, right. So again, even staff come with maybe a misperception and they get here and realize how wonderful it is and what opportunities the kids have.

Speaker 4 8:54

We will have families that will contact us and they want to bring their child out to tour the campus to scare them and we tell them you are welcome to tour anytime. We're always happy to tour families, but that will backfire.

Speaker 5 9:07

They will not get scared.

Speaker 4 9:09

Because we want it to be a place kids feel comfortable and safe being at, and so we're not. So the intent of the parent to get them to change their behavior by bringing them out here to scare them is not going to work.

Speaker 3 9:19

So let's talk a little bit more about life at Boys Ranch for the kids. Do they go to school, and what does the school look like?

Christ-Centered Approach to Care

Speaker 6 9:25

You know we're a normal independent school district. I tell everybody that applies with us as house parents the same thing that we're actually very close. Our admins work closely together but we are separate. They're their own ISD administration and so it looks like what other schools look like Really. They go to school August through May. They have the same breaks. They have to abide by everything that the Texas says they have to abide by.

Speaker 3 9:47

Yeah, that's one of the neat things just walking into our school system here. Once you walk through the doors, you'd think you're in any public school from anywhere across the country. It's really like Chloe said, no different.

Speaker 2 9:57

I think one difference I would note is that our class sizes are very small.

Speaker 2 10:01

So we have a lot of kids who've been in larger public schools in a class of 30 or more children and our average class size, I believe, on our campus is about six, and so our teachers are hired and trained with the understanding that we are serving kids who may have struggled in a regular public school district and we need to function a little differently. We need to look to meet their needs and having a smaller class size allows the teachers to be curious about that child's history in school and their functioning and to build a relationship with them.

Speaker 5 10:36

And they have the opportunity to participate in sports. Any UIL competitions, we've got football, we've got basketball baseball credit options dual credit options, tennis, lots of opportunities to participate in a very normal school experience.

Speaker 6 10:51

Now the one way it might look a little different, josh, is that we I've had a kid when I was in casework that really struggled with a certain teacher and we couldn't figure out what to do. And so finally the teacher said could you just come sit in here for 10 minutes each day and maybe you bring work. But maybe that helps him calm him down? And sure enough, I did it for his last two months of school. But he started passing his class. His behavior stopped. So in that way it does look a little different. They're not afraid to think outside the box to let us help them. So they're very open to allowing our staff to coming in and if they have a big situation they'll call all of our supervisors to come handle it. So I think they're always willing to try different interventions to help serve our kids.

Speaker 5 11:28

We have a lot of resources here on this campus that can help every kid.

Speaker 3 11:32

So what other activities do kids participate in while they're at Boys Ranch?

Speaker 2 11:35

I would say what activities don't we participate in? Right, I mean again, our kids participate in UIL sports and all types of activities through the school. We have prom, just like any other high school has prom. In fact, we get a pretty snazzy prom every year. You know, the kids are in tuxes and they're in dresses, and all of that is provided for Our kids. We have a swimming pool on campus, an indoor pool, so our kids get to swim and they get to ride horses and we have kayaks and a zip line and you know there's just I've always said that a kid at Boys Ranch who's bored is trying really hard to be bored, right, because there's an endless amount of activity, but that activity is also purposeful, right.

Speaker 2 12:20

So we are trying to create connections in the brains of our kiddos that you don't have to engage in illegal activities or quote-unquote bad activities to have fun. There's a lot of kids that you might see in a regular town who are staying out late or they're vandalizing property or they're engaging in graffiti because that's what's available for fun.

Speaker 4 12:42

Adventure.

Speaker 2 12:43

Adventure, adventure, and so we are. We're giving them opportunities to try a lot of things that they may have never tried before and to make some connections in their brain that, hey, you can have fun in a safe way but still really enjoy, enjoy the things. So lots of activities here on enjoy the things.

Speaker 5 13:04

So lots of activities. Here on campus we're really lucky to have an entire activities department that is solely responsible for that kind of programming, so they create programs for the kids. I know that they do a summer program for the kids that don't have sports or training things going on, so they have a beautiful activity center where they can have access to a gym and all kinds of bowling. They can bowl, they can, like you said, they can swim, they can fish. There are endless opportunities for activity and that's part of our model of leadership and service is activity.

Speaker 6 13:32

Yeah, we want to give them some sense of adventure, right. So I think we have a wide variety, but now we also as they get older. So my position I've primarily always worked with adolescents. So once they get older we try to start teaching them the skill of leadership, right. So it looks a little different, like, if they are into swimming, they can become a lifeguard and get certified in lifeguard and then they can lifeguard for the other homes or for the younger kids. But they can get an experiential learning position and then can actually mentor the younger summer program so they can actually work the program and actually mentor the younger summer program, so they can actually work the program and actually mentor the younger kids. So there's a lot of opportunities to kind of cross-train them, right. Like get them.

Speaker 6 14:07

I had a girl that would run out all the time and I finally just said, hey, I like running, I try to run some when I lived on campus and I. So I finally said I'm going to run with her once a week and my goal was to wanted her to know that, like later on in life, when things are hard, that you could maybe utilize working out as a stress reliever, right, and so trying to even use some of the things I enjoy, and we encourage our staff if there's an activity you enjoy and there's a kid interested in it, try teaching them that skill too. So I know Suzanne sews and she's brought some girls to learn that skill. So there's a lot of things that our staff bring to the table to try and get them some life skills and trying different activities.

Speaker 2 14:40

I was going to say that actually I probably taught more boys to sew, isn't that interesting? And so several years ago I had a young man who said I'm interested in sewing, I'd like to make my own clothing instead of buying fast fashion off the rack. So we started learning to sew and he actually made bow ties for himself and several of his closest friends to wear to prom, picked out the fabric, you know. So lots of fun things like that, and so that's one of the blessings of having so many staff here on our campus is, if a child expresses an interest, there's probably surely an adult here who could guide that interest or participate with them.

Speaker 3 15:16

So, chloe, you mentioned it. It's pretty normal for kids, when they're adolescents, to work. So what does our work program look like out here?

Speaker 6 15:23

So essentially it's our experiential learning position. We have a wide variety of program and really are in the summertime. We ask the adolescents that is their summer program. We really want them to have an ELP position and gain some different skills. So we have a variety of jobs. We've got horticulture, we've got transportation, we've got headquarters, where they work at the front at the snack bar and actually have to serve our guests as they come in.

Speaker 6 15:44

You have STEM lab, you have rocketry, you have wood shop, so really, culinary yeah, we have so many different avenues and we've added more and more as people have started and have different skills. But we really want them to gain some life skills. So there is like a little curriculum that they try to do with them and educate them on different things and even like life skills on that right. So if they are late or they don't show up, there's a conversation that happens, they can have a write-up, they can be let go. We want them to understand what it's like to actually hold a job. So when they get out in the real world, that is what it would look like you having conversations or getting in trouble, but also praising. So it's been really neat.

Speaker 6 16:27

Rocketry they get to send their rockets off. It was funny. I was walking to lunch with some of my friends and they were just telling me that one of the kids that works at headquarters he tells them about all the interesting things that he meets and the people like bring chocolate and just a variety of things that they in all that that he tells headquarters stories. I never knew and he knows more about headquarters than I've ever known.

Speaker 3 16:47

So Boys Ranch is a Christ-centered organization. What does that mean for the children living here?

Speaker 2 16:51

I think, when we talk and think about being Christ-centered, that we try to emulate how Christ treated people, and one of the most important components of that is extending grace people, and one of the most important components of that is extending grace. And so our focus is to extend grace to the children, to extend grace to their families and, honestly, for us to extend grace to each other. As co-workers, you know that we may get frustrated with one another, and so that's really the big focus. We never use Christianity or a religion as a means to punish or shame or control our kids, but we want to love them in a way that they see Christ in us, and so the focus, I think, is just for us to extend loving care to each and every child.

Speaker 6 17:34

Yeah, I don't think I could have said it any more beautifully, suzanne. I think of the book of James. It's my favorite book in the Bible but I think about how they talk about show me your faith by the way you live. And that is what I think of Ranch is that I want kids to see Christ through me and everybody that I work with, just by the way we live. So when they, by extending grace or by loving on them even during their hardest times, instead of by my works, they feel it when we come in the room.

Speaker 5 17:59

I think it's a beautiful anchor for them as well. The kids attend chapel once a week and it's consistent, it's happening once a week. It's a beautiful touchstone for them, a way to kind of refocus, and we have chapel staff that are able to support the kids in different ways that the kids can go to, and I know there's another caring adult that loves them and wants them to succeed and do well.

Speaker 4 18:22

So it's really a beautiful part of the program that sometimes we don't always talk about, but yeah, it's really interwoven into everything we do and teach here when we admit a child on their admit date, we have several different people that will come in and meet with the child and the family and introduce themselves and what their roles are.

Speaker 4 18:36

And chapel staff will come and meet with the family and the child and I can hear them in there talking about our Christ-centered stance and what that looks like. But also they seek to understand where that child is coming from and what their history is in the church if they have a history and just trying to build a relationship with that kid from the very beginning. But then I hear them pray with the family and pray over that child and the family as they're kind of starting this new chapter in their life. And so our chapel staff is very sensitive to the fact that we have kids from all different backgrounds and they're about meeting them where they are and not forcing them into what we expect them to be just because of their own history with the church and with Christ and all of that. So they're very sensitive to that.

Speaker 2 19:20

I do want to say that we do have kids from all different spiritual backgrounds or belief systems, and we do also accept children who aren't Christian. Right, that is our approach.

Speaker 2 19:30

It's not a question we ask yeah but it's not a question that we ask and if the parents feel like this is a good placement, it's certainly not a requirement and we will be respectful. We've had several kids say I don't believe, or I'm an atheist, or I believe in something very different, and we want to be respectful of that again, again, and show them love no matter what, and so I think that's also a common question about, like the staff ask us well, what if they don't want to attend?

Speaker 6 19:57

And what I say is, hey, they attend, but they don't have to speak. They just have to be respectful and sit there quietly. And what I've found is, over time, like even if they don't believe, a lot of times, even in devos of adolescents have devotions on Wednesday night in the home. They always do highs and lows or they'll ask prayer requests, and what I found is they still would give their highs and lows and still ask for some prayer, and so I think there's still some value in feeling like they can be present and surrounded by love, even if that isn't their belief system.

Admissions Process and Family Services

Speaker 3 20:23

So if someone was interested in placing their child at Boys Ranch, what does that process look like?

Speaker 4 20:27

So families can reach out to us in a couple different ways. On our website, califariorg, under the Get Help tab there's some information a parent or a guardian can fill out about the child and it kind of gives them an opportunity to kind of tell us the areas the child is struggling in. That information goes directly to our intake department and we reach out to the family and gather some more information. They can also call us on our 800 number. It's 1-800-657-7124. Our intake department will kind of do an initial screening with the family. Again, just kind of helps us get a better understanding of the areas that they're struggling to see if they would be a potential candidate. And then you know if they are. Then we request some records because we want to, you know, look at school information, any kind of mental health history they've had, and then we will do an interview.

Speaker 4 21:11

Right now we do that with the parents over the phone and we also Zoom interview with the kids because we want to answer their questions as well. And so once we get that process done, we present in a meeting to Chloe and some of our administrators you know kids that we are bringing for potential applicants and we get to present. You know their struggles and the areas they need some help and we talk as a team about whether we're going to be the right fit, are we going to be able to give them, you know, the services that they need. So you know, depending on the beds that are available, there might be a little bit of a wait for placement. But our goal is to get you know every kid in the program as quickly as we can, just to start giving them some services. But at times there are waits just because of lack of bed space or you know different dynamics that are going on on the campus.

Speaker 5 21:55

And sometimes we're not the right fit for a child. Sometimes we may not have the tools to, or we may not be equipped to meet the needs that a child has, or maybe the family's looking for something else and if that's the case then I will send that family referrals for other types of services. It may be more restrictive, more therapeutic setting. It may be that the family really just wants to try a counselor at home, or maybe we just want to try, you know, an outpatient program or something. So I'll try to help that family identify some other services and for families that live within 100 miles of Amarillo, we'll also refer all of those families the option to be involved with our family engagement program, which is an in-home case management program that we provide, and all of our services are provided at no cost to these families. So we're able to serve lots of families in different ways, even if it's not placement. Sometimes it is placement in our program, sometimes it's with help finding other resources.

Speaker 2 22:49

Jackie, I always describe you as the walking talking Google of placement right. So we may not be the best option for a child, but Jackie can give you a list of options and places that would be a good fit. Jackie, talk a little bit more about the fact that we don't charge families. How is that possible that we would provide residential care and school and food and clothing and school supplies? How does that happen?

Speaker 5 23:16

We are very blessed. Thanks to our beautiful donors who have kept this program running since the 1930s, we have a foundation that is built upon our donor dollars that have come in for generations of people and we're able to provide all of our services at no cost. So we don't accept. Even with the kids who are placed by protective services, which is a small percentage. We don't even ask for payment from them. We have a no-pay contract with the state when we do accept those placements. The school is a regular Texas public school, so that is funded by the state of Texas. But we also do some supplemental funding of special programs and for training. But yeah, we're very blessed. We're very lucky that, thanks to our donors, we've been able to do that at no cost to families for decades.

Speaker 4 23:58

And when families call us and they have been trying to find a placement for their child or services for their child, most of them will say we can't afford. You know we call these other programs and we don't have that kind of money, you know, and so they'll be like what do y'all charge? And I tell them that's one of my favorite conversations to have.

Speaker 5 24:23

One of the easiest conversations to have is our ability to meet these kids' needs in our program without adding a financial stress to the family.

Speaker 5 24:27

Yes, it's really nice when you tell them and they go what, let me tell everyone I care about it. When you tell them and they go what, let me tell everyone I care about. But it really is. It's a shock to some of these families because some of these residential programs are thousands of dollars a month. I mean exorbitant amounts of money and regardless of a family's financial position they're eligible for placement. At Boys Ranch we have families that beautiful homes, vacation homes, vacation between I don't know the Hamptons.

Speaker 4 24:51

I was going to say maybe not that.

Speaker 5 24:53

But? And we also have families on the verge of homelessness or a family with a parent that's incarcerated and they have zero resources.

Speaker 4 25:00

So regardless of that, we don't ask income when we're talking to a family. That does not ever come up in our conversation because it doesn't play a factor in whether or not a child can be in our program.

Speaker 3 25:10

So what would you say are the most common reasons a family would seek placement for their child at Boys Ranch?

Speaker 5 25:15

There are a variety of reasons. A lot of times it's a breakdown in the family system. There's conflict in the home. There's maybe a child underperforming in school, a child who's defiant, maybe not listening, not doing what's been asked of them. Sometimes it's arguments, siblings that are arguing. Sometimes it really is a financial stressor that maybe dad's lost his job. Family's on the verge of homelessness. They need a safe place for their child to be for a season. You know, and what would you say, Jo? There are so many reasons.

Speaker 4 25:44

At school A lot of us school because most of our kids come from very, very large urban areas. Their schools are very lots of kids and so they kind of get lost in the school system and they're not. No one is watching their performance and they're failing. And the parents don't feel like they have a lot of support within their school system and they know their child can perform better academically than what they're doing. They just need a little extra help.

Speaker 2 26:07

So I think we have a significant number of kiddos whose guardian or managing conservator is a grandparent who took custody and started to raise the child, or a sibling group, and now they find themselves in their 70s or even 80s with some teenagers to take care of, and they find themselves overwhelmed or they may experience medical problems, and so that's a fairly common situation.

Speaker 2 26:32

We also have a significant number of kids who were adopted either out of foster care or from a foreign country, by typically very well-intentioned, loving parents who weren't always prepared for the trauma that that child would carry with them, and so those families have typically struggled to meet that child would carry with them, and so those families have typically struggled to meet that child's needs, and when they realize they're unable to do so alone, they reach out for help, and so we're able to assist in that way too.

Speaker 5 27:02

Yeah, struggle with connection or attachment. Yeah, sometimes it's an adoptive family that's really struggling. So a lot of different circumstances. So we want our kids to be successful in their placement at Boys struggling.

Speaker 3 27:11

So a lot of different circumstances. So we want our kids to be successful in their placement at Boys Ranch. So there are some behaviors that we cannot accept into placement. So what are some of the behaviors that would preclude a child from acceptance into our program?

Speaker 5 27:21

So that would be when we conduct the screening with the family. These are the kind of things that we'll ask to get a picture of whether or not they'll be successful in our group living environment. Some of the behaviors that would prevent that from being an appropriate placement would be if they're very physically aggressive and have difficulty in group settings with other kids. If they're potentially really harmful to themselves can't be maintained. Their safety can't be maintained in an open group living environment without very intense supervision. The need for more therapeutic interventions than what we can offer. We've got to make sure that they're safe, that other kids are safe around them, and if we can't maintain that, maybe need to look for a more secure type of placement. We're not a substance abuse treatment center, so kids who struggle mightily with substance abuse we might refer to another type of program. Sexual predatory behaviors would be a behavior that would preclude a child from being a candidate in our program. So anything else, joe, that I've missed.

Speaker 4 28:17

We also have to our ages. I mean, we want the child to, if possible, be in the program by the time they're 17. And so if a family waits to contact us until they're 17, there's a possibility that we wouldn't be able to get them into the program before they were 18. And we really, you know, would like to start the application sooner than that. We also have, you know, we're not a secure environment, and so kids that have history of running away and we, you know, sometimes we'll get information on our website, information that comes in. They talk about their kid runs away. Well, we're going to ask what that is, because for some families it might be going down the street to grandma's house, and that's different than if a kid is, you know, putting themselves in a dangerous situation by leaving the home, whereabouts are unknown, for multiple days. You know they're putting themselves in a really dangerous situation because we can't provide the kind of supervision that they would need to stay safe in our environment.

Speaker 2 29:11

Runaway behaviors would be a concern for us also. I think one of the wonderful things about Boys Ranch is that we focus on every single child as an individual, and so as we assess children for placement, every child is different and we consider all of their circumstances and all of the information, rather than just labeling that child. And as we care for children who are admitted, we also look at their own individual needs and provide care tailored to them, rather than our program is a certain mold and the child has to fit into that mold.

Speaker 5 29:41

We really conduct a thorough assessment and a behavior may be concerning on the surface. When you take a closer look or ask some follow-up questions, you kind of realize what the root of all of that is. Sometimes it doesn't change the fact that the behavior is concerning, but sometimes it paints a bigger, a better picture and we're able to make a more informed decision about what kind of facility they may need. If it's not Boys Ranch, then we have a better idea of what kind of programs to recommend.

Speaker 6 30:06

Yeah, and I also want to say when we go and we assess and then we accept, part of my job and my team's job is to also make sure that it's the right home fit. I want to make sure that when Suzanne talked about us really tailoring it individually, it is Our team really wants to make sure that that kid is going to be successful and so sometimes as we're staffing the kid, I'm like, hey, I know I want him in this home, right with that staff or whatever that child might need. I try to gauge also what staff in the kid environments that's already in there where they'll be the most successful but also be able to find our model leadership. I want them to find safety and belonging, and so sometimes they might wait an extra month or two, but it's because we want the right bed and right home for them too.

Speaker 3 30:42

What type of training do we provide for our staff to help them care for the children in their care?

Speaker 2 30:46

So again, you know we're licensed by the state of Texas and the state sets forth certain classes that every employee has to take in order to be in the care of children. But we do a lot beyond that because we truly want to prepare our staff to look at each child as an individual, to be curious about what happened to that child that causes them to behave in the way that they do. We want to equip our staff to be able to meet that child's needs and build relationship. We say this over and over again in training the most important tool you have at your disposal is building a relationship with that child and once you build a relationship, you have the opportunity to influence their choices and for them to make changes that will help them overcome some of their challenges or become productive citizens.

Speaker 5 31:35

In our training department, even for those who don't work at campus, we have the opportunity to receive training weekly. We have weekly trainings with Suzanne or with Josh about various topics regarding child care and just professional development. We have the opportunity for a lot of training.

Speaker 2 31:51

One of the things that we, josh and I, love to train the most is about brain development.

Speaker 2 32:02

We, cal Farley, started to utilize the Neurosequential Model by Dr Bruce Perry back in 2010.

Speaker 2 32:04

And it really informs and shapes a lot of what we do. His most recent book on this topic is called what Happened to you, and we've all done book studies, lots of book studies on that book, but it's a resource that I continually pull out to help me explain a child's behavior or if staff are frustrated with choices a kid is making. That information, that knowledge, has really helped inform what we do with kids. We're also big fans of trust-based relational intervention, which is based out of TCU, texas Christian University, and there's a great, great book called the Connected Child, which was written by Karen Purvis and Dr Cross, and that's another resource that is useful, and so those books are both useful, not only for people who are in the business of professional child care, but for you as a parent. Each one of us in this room are parents, and I think we would all say that we've benefited from that knowledge and we've used some of those tools with our own kids, and so a lot of our training is based on information that came from one of those two sources.

Speaker 4 33:11

Yeah, and that's organizational-wide, that's everyone, when our staff, when we're talking to families, when they first reach out to us and we kind of get the historical information and what's going on was the child adopted, what's their trauma.

Speaker 4 33:23

Because of the training that we've had, we've been able to talk to even families that we've not met yet about trauma-informed care, about attachment, and so giving them Dr Perry's information, Dr Purvis's information, and families. We've mailed some books to some families because they're like I don't know, you know, how do I get that book? And so we pull them out of our library and mail them to the families because they're just seeking that information, Because most families would prefer to avoid placing their child out of the home and so if they can get some information on what else to try, most of them will receive that information very well. But because of the training that my staff and I've had with Suzanne and Josh, we're able to talk about that with families and just kind of reaffirm with them about things that they're trying and things to try and encouraging them a little bit and giving them some tools to try and use.

Speaker 5 34:10

And I think it gives them a good idea of what the culture is at Boys Ranch. You know, if they're seeking to place their child here, maybe they kind of are like, okay, this seems like a thoughtful, safe environment where they're going to take into account my child's past and their brain development, and it gives them a good idea about what the ranch is about and what its mission is.

Speaker 6 34:28

I think about that with our therapeutic discipline model right, because we use a lot of TBRI in it, we use a lot of Bruce Perry. We really are intentional about trying to even implement our training into our policies and even in our model of leadership. Really we believe if safety can be met, a lot of the other needs can be met right. And when I work with staff or supervisors or even caseworkers when they're stressful about a parent, I'm always like what do you think their need isn't being met? Right, like look at it from because we can use that skill. Like Jolie said, our training can be used with the families we work with, with the staff I have, with my supervisors, because usually if something is going on with one of us, it's usually because a need isn't being met, and we see that even in our staff and the kids and the parents we work with. It's valuable to all of us.

Speaker 3 35:09

So we always say that healthy, positive relationships are our number one intervention. Why is this so important for us at Boys Ranch and why is it so important for our listeners and the children they have in their care?

Speaker 6 35:19

Gosh, josh, I think about this all the time. We use Sama, so we talk about that. It's really important that you have a trustworthy person, right, because when I'm upset, I want to go to a person who one is going to be confidential about it, but also have characteristics of somebody who is going to keep and make me feel good. Right, so they're going to be calm, they're going to be aware of the situation and respectful, right. And so I think, when we look at why relationships are important because if they're in a dark time or they're having a difficulty, they're going to want to go to someone they have a relationship with, just like you do, you want to.

Speaker 6 35:48

If you're having a bad day, who's the first person you call? Right. And so the more we develop relationships with kids, the more that they feel like they can open up about what's really going on. Right, and one of the things I tell staff, even when I hire a house parent just today, I had this conversation I believe that community is healing, not only for our kids but for our staff, and that is truly why I think it's a unicorn, right. We try to implement that in every aspect, no matter what department we're in or what we do, that you're always there to help and build relationships.

Staff Training and Relationship-Based Care

Speaker 2 36:14

Dr Karen Parvis said that relationship-based problems can only be healed in the context of relationship or teachers or parents. The only way we can heal that is to build relationship, help them find success in relationship, help them feel safe in a relationship, and so relationships are vital, all right.

Speaker 3 36:39

So for many of you longtime listeners, you're probably wondering why we didn't do the question of the day at the beginning. Well, we flipped it on its head and we're going to do it here at the end, and I just thought it was a fun question to kind of tie into what we were we've talked about today. So our question today is since we discussed how kids get out to Boys Ranch, I want to know how did you all first find out about Boys Ranch?

Speaker 6 37:00

I will admit that I was a strong-willed child that grew up in the Texas panhandle and I might have been threatened with Boys Ranch as a child oh, I hope my mom is not listening to this, but I don't know if that's actually the true statement, right, because I believed probably what most people believed, that it was like where kids went when they weren't doing well. So I actually feel like I learned about Boys Ranch when I met somebody at my previous job and she worked at Boys Ranch, was bringing a kid in and so said, hey, have you ever thought about working at Boys Ranch? I was like no, and I came out for my interview and I felt like that is when I truly learned about Boys Ranch, the first day I actually saw Boys Ranch and stepped foot on here and saw what it looked like and the people I would work with.

Speaker 4 37:37

I also grew up in the Texas Panhandle. In the school that I attended actually, we would compete against Boys Ranch At that time. There were no girls at Boys Ranch, though, because that's how old I am.

Speaker 4 37:47

But we would go to the track meets and all of that, and so Boys Ranch would always be there and there was that stigma of those are the bad kids, you know. But I can remember those kids being the most humble and just so grateful to be there and any kind of success was huge for them. And so my first just growing up being around Boys Ranch, I don't think I ever really had a perception I know I never came out to campus until I interviewed out here I really had a perception. I know I never came out to campus until I interviewed out here and I mean I grew up in this area and so when you get to see it and see that it's a community and it doesn't have bars on the windows, we don't have orange jumpsuits and all of that.

Speaker 4 38:21

You know it's a very normal environment and so just being able to see those kids in a normal environment that I was in doing athletics and being able to participate, that's my first interaction, just for a little added context we've had girls since 1992. Thank you for that, Suzanne. Thank you, Suzanne.

Speaker 2 38:40

I just want our listeners to have a complete picture.

Speaker 5 38:43

Well, I did not grow up in the Texas panhandle. I grew up in Rato, new Mexico. I hadn't heard a word about Boys Ranch. I knew nothing about Boys Ranch until I started school at WT. My best friend and I ventured to Texas for school and she was in a journalism class with a young man that had graduated from Boys Ranch. She met this guy. She came home to our dorm room and told me about him and said he grew up at this place called Boys Ranch and I was fascinated. I was like well, what is it? She's like I don't know. So you know, as things do, you kind of forget about things. But I knew this guy and then met a few other kids who had graduated from Boys Ranch and then at the end of my schooling I was working at an internship at Texas Tech and this is how old I am. United Way used to print a huge book of all of the local resources and I was like I got to find a job.

Speaker 5 39:31

So I was looking and I saw Boys Ranch. I was like I could work there. I was like it sounds cool, I'll look at it, and so that was really how I learned about Boys Ranch. But yeah, I did. I was never threatened with Boys.

Speaker 2 39:42

Ranch when my younger brother was a senior in high school. At another school they played Boys Ranch, and so we came out to campus to watch the football game and that's the first real experience I'd ever had with Boys Ranch. And as we drove onto campus, there were two Boys Ranch students who were selling the program for the football game, and so people were buying these programs and we all went and sat down. Well, they weren't technically supposed to be selling that program, they were supposed to be giving them away, and so they'd gotten caught. And at halftime of the football game they were having to walk through the stands and ask people did I charge you and then refund the money?

Speaker 2 40:21

And my first thought was what an entrepreneurial spirit, right? I didn't have a negative thought about that. I just thought what an entrepreneurial spirit, but also also what a great teaching moment, right. What a great conversation for us to have with those young men afterwards. You know about their choices. So I thought it was a positive thing. It put a big smile on my face, and it was probably about three years later that I came to work out here. How about you, josh?

Speaker 3 40:49

I didn't know places like Boys Ranch exist either. Kind of like the person who wrote in is like what's a Boys Ranch?

Speaker 2 40:55

And where did you grow up?

Speaker 5 40:56

I grew up in Wyoming so.

Speaker 3 40:59

I got my degree in teaching and I was looking for a job after graduation and I couldn't find a good teaching job and my wife, her parents, actually had just started as house parents here and I think they were concerned that their daughter was going to be homeless. So they told us that we should come down here and check this place out and look at being house parents and that's kind of how we kind of got to know, and how many years ago was that? 20. It'll be 20 this year.

Speaker 2 41:25

Wow, wow, jolie, how long have you worked here? 27 years 27 years 27.

Speaker 6 41:30

27 in July, it's 25 for me, chloe, I'll be the baby of the group, but next month will be 11 years. She's young.

Speaker 3 41:40

Well, thank you all so much for joining us today. If you'd like to contact us and ask us a question, like Jill did, our email address is podcasts at calfarleyorg. I'll make sure and leave a link in the description and, as always, you might have to loan out your frontal lobes today. Just make sure you remember and get them back.

Personal Connections to Boys Ranch

Speaker 1 41:55

Thank you for listening to Brain Based Parenting. We hope you enjoyed this show. If you would like more information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch, are interested in employment, would like information about placing your child, or would like to help us help children by donating to our mission, please visit calfarleyorg. You can find us on all social media platforms by searching for Calfarley's. Thank you for spending your time with us and have a blessed day.