Teaching Kids Faith Through Fellowship Worship And Service: The Spiritual Disciplines pt 2

Faith can feel like a set of ideas kids are supposed to agree with, until real life hits and the beliefs don’t have roots. We sit down with our chapel team to talk about how children actually develop a lived, resilient faith through three interconnected practices: serving others, building healthy relationships, and learning what worship really is.  We move into the bigger question of how belief becomes something a child can practice on a normal Tuesday. 

We explore why faith formation is more than spiritual education, and why the Gospel of John treats believing like a verb. Obedience, trust, and “try it and see” moments help kids discover God in action, not just in theory. We share what we’ve noticed on service projects: kids almost never regret going, groups come back bonded, and serving makes the whole God thing feel more believable. You’ll also hear practical, age-appropriate ideas, from chores as service, to plugging into church roles, to “adopting” a senior neighbor who needs small help and real connection. 

Finally, we zoom out to what healthy Christian community looks like for kids: a judge-free space for hard questions, leaders who are warm but firm, shared meals, intergenerational friendships, and parents who model positive relationships. We also unpack worship beyond singing, including gratitude at home and intentional time in nature that opens kids up to wonder. If you’re busy or unsure where to start, we give a simple next step you can take this week. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review, then tell us what small practice your family is trying next.

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Transcript

Welcome And Today’s Focus

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting, the Boys Ranch podcast for families. We all know how hard being a parent is, and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling. Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions, utilizing the knowledge, experience, and professional training Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer. Now here is your host, Cal Farley Staff Development Coordinator, Joshua Sprock.

SPEAKER_04 0:30

Welcome back. Today we're going to continue our discussion on teaching the spiritual disciplines to our children by talking about faith, fellowship, and worship, and service. To do that today, I'm again joined by Austin Garmin, Music Director.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Mike Wilhelm, Director of Faith-Based Outreach.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

Marley New, Director of Christian Education.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

And Kate Duke, Chapel Coordinator.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

All right, let's jump into our question of

Favorite Worship Songs And Hymns

SPEAKER_04 0:50

the day. Since we're talking about worship, I was wondering what is your favorite praise and worship song or hymn to sing? It's a good question, Josh.

SPEAKER_05 0:57

I feel like as a worship leader, I should have like a favorite worship song, but I don't know. I love so many of them. One hymn, though, that is definitely my favorite is the classic Amazing Grace. And I think it's also because it was my grandpa's favorite hymn. So I think it's just kind of stuck with me.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

My favorite is Battle Belongs by Phil Wickham. I just like what the words are talking about in that. And then recently I was actually reading in my Bible and found where that came from out of Second Chronicles when Jehoshaphat was getting ready to go into battle and the odds kind of seemed against him, and he just went and praised and worshipped God.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

I like the old hymn, To God be the glory, great things he hath done.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

I like how great thou art and it is well with my soul. Those are a couple, but I I'm like Austin. Yeah, how do you not like any of it?

SPEAKER_04 1:49

My answer is whatever hymn is being sung is my favorite. I love all the old hymns. Yeah. If I had to choose one though, it is well with my soul is is probably my favorite. It's very, very comforting. And so what does it really mean for a child to

What Faith Is For Kids

SPEAKER_04 2:01

live out their faith in everyday life? Maybe a better question to start is what is faith and how do kids develop a faith?

SPEAKER_05 2:07

Faith at its core is just putting your belief in something. And then I mean, man, for a child to live out their faith every day. I think that can really look different for any kid, whether maybe they're on a sports team or maybe they're really into art. If you're on a sports team, maybe it's being the leader of that team and building other teammates up. Maybe you're an artist, maybe you're able to go to school and go to art class and draw paintings about the cross and Jesus. I think there's so many different ways for children ultimately to live out their faith. And because we know that God has all given us unique talents and gifts. And so I think one way of answering that question they're trying to is just ask the child, like, what are your talents? and then go from there. And then hopefully they can they can assess and then and then choose that chal talent and and then find ways to incorporate Christ into that.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

Yeah, for a child or even just anyone to live out their faith, it doesn't necessarily always look like preaching the gospel, even though it can look like that. Like Austin was saying, I think it looks like just treating people with love and kindness, being a light, and just finding God in the small, normal, daily things in

Faith As Action Not An Idea

SPEAKER_03 3:14

life.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

So why is it important that faith isn't just something that kids believe, but something they actually practice and experience?

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Well, let's see. I I don't know. Of course, now I'm probably bringing a lot of where I've been the last uh month or two in scripture. I've been in John's gospel, and faith, uh, believing is never a noun in John's gospel, it's always a verb. Now, Paul uses it as uh sometimes as a noun, but you know, we make it into a noun, it's just this category or this abstract concept or this thing to think about. But John's gospel and his, you know, he emphasizes the aspect that it's relational and it's it's in obedience and doing things. And in fact, when you're uh you know, listeners could probably relate to this. You read, say, John's gospel and think about how many times Jesus says, you know, do something. Like, you know, the you know, they those early disciples said, Hey, where are you staying? He says, come, come and you will see. He tells the dad of that a sick boy, hey, go home, your son will live. Tells the, let's see, he tells the guy with the mud smeared on his eyes, go wash in the pool of saloon. You know, tells Lazarus, come out. All those are are commands. And these are people that don't yet know who Jesus is and haven't placed their faith in him. But it seems like it's in, it's in doing that thing that he's asking you to do right now, that simple, obedient, that act of trust, that belief is discovered. You know, faith is discovered. It's it's in me sitting in my recliner chair. I don't know if I'm gonna think myself into faith. Maybe somebody can do that, I don't know. But it does seem like it, it's that taste and see that the Lord is good, try it on, do this thing, go go with the chapel staff to help feed homeless folks this week. And and in those, in those actions and in that activity of what God's doing in the world, it seems like that's where faith is discovered, don't you think? Isn't that what you're noticing?

SPEAKER_01 5:00

And I think with an opportunity to practice it and experience it, it just strengths strengthens the faith. Like you kind of need those things to go back and forth with each other. And so you can believe that and go to church on Sunday, and then what do you do after that? You come home and you say your mealtime prayer and your bedtime prayer, and what do you do after that? You go to church on Sunday, and but an opportunity to practice it and experience it, I think, only strengthens it because the more we do or we think about, then that's what we feed on.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

And um Yeah, that's a good point, Kate. It's like not just for the the one that's maybe an an unbeliever, an agnostic, someone that's you know, it's where we might discover faith, but it is where those for us as believers, it's where our faith is strengthened, and to not be taking the doing the the action, the obedience, our faith will atrophy, won't it? And it seems like and it seems like that will really get exposed whenever we hit a crisis in life if we've allowed that to atrophy.

Why Service Makes Faith Real

SPEAKER_04 5:57

So why is serving others such an important part of a child's faith development?

SPEAKER_05 6:01

Yeah, and to start when we serve a God who washed his disciples' feet, to actually serve and to be out there is I think a way our kids can connect with Jesus. We just took kids to Faith City Mission in Amarillo, and it's always really cool hearing the stories coming out of it of kids just saying how much they enjoyed serving, being generous and kind and putting food on a table for a homeless person. Serving is so such a big part of the Christian faith. I mean, Jesus himself, I'd say, is the greatest servant leader out there, so why can't so if we can replicate that for our kids and get them in areas where they can be the hands and feet of Jesus, I think that is one huge way of them able to increase their own faith in Christ.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Yeah, I mean, Jesus taught us to serve very humbly. He was in this position where he did not have to do that, yet he put himself in the lowest position to serve others where he saw the need. And I think that's what we are trying to model just in the kids' lives, in our own lives. I think serving helps us to become less self-centered and more other people centered. It helps us to see through a different perspective and to see people the way Jesus sees people and not to be so quick to judge all the time. I think it's just really important to remember those things why we serve. Obviously, it makes our hearts feel good when we serve, but that's not why we serve. We serve because Jesus called us to serve.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Okay, Austin, Marley, uh, Kate, have you ever taken kids on a service trip and a kid coming back and regretting that they went on the service trip?

SPEAKER_05 7:39

I haven't. Have you guys? No. No. No, I haven't either.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah. That's man, I that's amazing because you've taken lots of kids out, right? And I have too over the years. And I'm I'd be hard pressed to think about a time I came back with a kid, wasn't glad that they went. And that is that I mean, that's a big deal, isn't it? So it's uh that's something remarkable in and of itself, because there are a lot of things that are, you know, could go go wrong. Doesn't mean that the trips aren't messy and you haven't had trips with bad stuff happen, right? Okay, you're talking about kids. But that's remarkable in and of itself, and it seems like when they've stepped into that, there's probably a reason why that's those are always positive. And it's like, I think God built us to do that, right? To do those things. And it seems to me like, and you tell me if what your what your thoughts are on this, but this whole gospel, the the whole God thing, just even believing if God exists from that, a lot of kids are questioning that, right? You go on a service trip and have that experience, and it seems like the whole God thing to them suddenly is more believable, don't you think? Yeah. So I think that's a yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:44

I think like if anything, they experience the complete opposite. We always have kids asking, when is the next service project? When are we going back to Amarilla? Like kids love it so much that they want to come back and do it to where I feel like whenever we do one, Marley can probably say the same. A kid's coming up to us asking, when's the next one? When can I sign up?

SPEAKER_04 9:02

Have you guys ever noticed when you do service projects how it kind of bonds you together as a group as well and it strengthens the camaraderie and just union of of believers? Seems like all the service projects I've been on, you just come back and you just have a a different, a different bond with the people after you've done that.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

And I think it's beneficial too for them to see how blessed they are and how much need there is in the world. And it, you know, gives them an opportunity to build the kingdom and just by serving other people and providing things that they might need. And but yeah, they always want to go. They always want to Can we go again next week?

SPEAKER_02 9:35

But but yeah, you're on to something here, Josh, for sure. The the these service service type trips just play a huge role in faith formation with kids, and it uh it does. The whole God thing becomes a lot more believable when you're right in the midst of that. And it really is a thing that the kids normally are very glad they did, even if they were hesitant in going out. And this should be a huge shout out to Jennifer Hip. She would be, I worked here at the chapel for oh 15 years and was worked with me for years, and I learned a lot from watching her, and she could not be stopped. She was ready to do the next service trip all the time, and and she had kids kind of like the was it Tom Sawyer that had to whitewash paint that fence that time, and and he had everybody convinced that was the coolest thing ever, and pretty soon they're begging to help paint the fence. That's Jennifer Hip. I mean, kids were lined up wanting to get in her van to go do these crazy service trips. So learned a lot from Jennifer.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

One of the cool things we did was we took the kids into Amarillo and they we were helping out uh the homeless population. And as they the woman that ran the place, they were talking with her and they started asking questions like, Well, you know, what do you need? Like, what can we do? Like what like they started really thinking about what the next steps could be for helping. What they did was was great, and they were grateful to do that, but they were willing and ready to do more. And I thought that I was pretty impressed with that. And and then talk about spontaneous prayer. We had one of the guys step up and say, Can I pray for all for us now?

SPEAKER_02 11:04

So yeah, you know, I had Mr. Lawless had tipped me off on something with the great house parent out here at the ranch and just dear friend and brother in Christ. And we their their home maybe was at a a little bit of a a little stagnant with their home devotional, and this this he thought with the spiritual formation of those boys. And man, he said something made a lot of sense. He says that that guys in particular, you know, are not necessarily just all indoor and passive and and to, you know, he says, I I think we need to incorporate some going out and doing some service together. And I think boys maybe especially need that. And and I thought, well, Rocky, thank you for tipping me off because you are exactly right. And he was spot on, and that's just exactly what that home needed. And kids really responded well.

SPEAKER_04 11:48

So that kind of leads into this next

Simple Ways Kids Can Serve

SPEAKER_04 11:50

question. What are some simple age-appropriate ways that kids can begin serving in their home, church, or community?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

I think chores is a service. I mean, the dishes need to be washed or the floor needs to be swept.

SPEAKER_05 12:00

I mean, that's that's a service if you're providing for your family and your home and yourself and definitely Kate, because I mean scripture tells us to do everything to glorify Jesus, like no matter what, whether that's mop in the floor, sweeping it, cutting the grass. I mean, everything can be an act of honoring God. It's just whether you're gonna go out and do it. And I think to add in that in the church, I mean, I can't I think there's so many ways that kids can get plugged into the church. Like here at Boys Ranch during Christmas season, we have kids running light. Every Sunday, we have kids running the sound, pro presenter, our computer. We have kids be a part of the worship team, start them young, and but also be ready to show them grace too, because they are kids and they're they're gonna mess up at times. And so are we, we're human, but it's it's such a great way for them to serve and and to get plugged in. If you can get them plugged in the church at a young age.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

One thing I'd recommend the listeners just uh might help jumpstart the process because Kate's right and Austin's right, that the service uh of doing the chores and things like that at home, and we talked about that on some podcasts, uh, the the value of that. That that could be if things are just in a bit of a rut, okay, because sometimes with the people that we love the most and are closest to, we you know, take things for granted. And uh hey, this let's clean, let's why don't you take empty the dishwasher and you know that's a nice service project for you for today. And that just might not really have the magic to it, right? But here's something that I'd recommend to listeners is there somehow, could you identify say a senior citizen that maybe lived lived alone that you could kind of adopt to check on that for just occasional, you know, yard work or if they needed, you know, sometimes as simple as they need a I need a light bulb screwed into my closet light or things like that. But a regular check-in with a senior citizen that you could kind of adopt, there's some magic in that. And that as we get older, we have a great need to have connection and especially with young people, but the opportunity decreases. The need's increasing, but the opportunities are decreasing. So as a say a youth pastor or as a parent that's trying to see about faith formation with kids, try to find where would be a place where that could happen. The kids usually are pretty jazzed about that where they're feeling like they really are being helpful, they're being doted over, and you really are meeting a real need. So that that could take off and have some magic to it that I say that word magic, but I mean some real faith formation that could be real appealing to the kid. Might be something that would that be easy to sell. What do you think?

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Yeah, I think an obvious way just to get involved in serving is just to keep your eye out, your local church when there's opportunities, but then I think it goes farther, just seeing where the need is at, like Mike was talking about. It could be something maybe not necessarily very big. There might be somebody in your community who you know is struggling. Maybe it could look like bringing a hot meal over to them. It doesn't always have to look super big all the time. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

And then, you know, as your kids get older, say your teenagers, a nice way to plug them in is maybe to have a little brother, little sister. Maybe sometimes at the school they're needing people to listen to the little kids read, big brother, big sister type of relationships. But doing for your older teens, for listeners that have older kids, a nice plug-in that that really is attractive to them, that really brings out the best in those older teens would be serving some way that's helping younger children, don't you think?

Building A Healthy Christian Community

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 15:30

So how can we teach kids to serve with the right heart, not just because they're told to, but because they want to?

SPEAKER_03 15:36

I I think it goes a little bit back to what we talked about earlier. The first few times you might have to force maybe isn't the right word, but you might have to kind of bribe them. But then once they go, they're gonna see how much impact they made, they're gonna see things differently and actually want to come. But that first time for serving might take a little extra push sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

And if they're also faith formation, you know, if they're understanding that Jesus called us to serve and and he was a servant as well, and if that falls into just following that and being him being the example and how much do our hearts as parents and caregivers re affect that?

SPEAKER_04 16:14

Like if I go into the service project and I'm like, oh, I don't want to be here, I want to be home watching TV. That's gonna probably shape how they are. But if I am passionate and I'm c excited and I'm on fire about it, I think that's gonna actually cause them to want to go as well. What do you guys think about that? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Oh, for be very present, be off your phone, and and to be really be into it. And I don't know, Josh, what would Karen Purvis, what what would she see? She has a nice way of striking this balance about being loving, warm but firm. You know, that's kind of one of the hallmarks of her connected child book. But this is one of those instances where to slease to start, it's like this is what we're going to do, but not in a I'm not hijacked as I'm saying it or threatening, but just but I'm also very firm and confident this is what we're going to do. And it probably needs to start that way. And like Austin and Marley have confirmed, the nice thing about this is normally if you find a meaningful kind of service to go do together, probably has a good end to it because they usually are going to feel good about what has happened. It does have its own reward to it, so you don't have to, you know, bribe them or take them for ice cream, right?

SPEAKER_04 17:20

So, what does a healthy Christian community look like for kids and why does that matter when it comes to faith formation?

SPEAKER_05 17:25

Healthy Christian community can I I think it can look different, and I think you can seek that in different ways. But one of the ways that we try to cultivate a healthy community here at Boys Ranch is during our devos, is allowing space for kids to speak, like Marley said earlier, to ask the hard questions, because we don't allow kids to ask the hard questions. They're gonna they're not gonna feel comfortable, and it might shut them off from even seeking out the faith even further. So I think one, two, for a youth leader, for a parent, just be vulnerable with the children in those moments. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, but just express what's on your heart, give them a space to be like, you can ask this question and just just go for it, and there's no judgment here. This is a judge-free room. That's something that I tell boys all the time is I don't care what the question is, if it's if it may sound stupid to you or what, like just ask it because that's what God wants. He wants our hearts, He wants our He wants our whole hearts.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

I think it starts with leadership. I think we need to have a lot of forgiveness and mercy and show them that. And we need to edify the kids, but also what was it called? Firm but fair but firm. But yeah, I think it starts with the with the adults and the leadership, and that's if they're healthy, then the kids are gonna be able to understand that and see that and work and work better with that.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

You know, it is what what's healthy Christian community look like for kids and why it matters. I'd say some characteristics of healthy Christian community are things that I would think, man, this what children need is intergenerational relationships. And and that is something you have to watch for and go find because we tend to always try to huddle up by age. We do it all day long in the schoolhouse, and uh we'll do that the way we church. And you know, a lot of times a lot of the churches that form form around certain age demographics, and I would look for just a beautiful tapestry of different ages. Uh they need they really need that food, uh shared meals together. There is something about that, and I think that's biblical. But I would look for you know those elements of of shared meals together and and and just and people knowing your name. Place where, you know, like the old the the show where the song goes, you know, where everybody knows your name. But I would say those are three biggies.

SPEAKER_04 19:42

I think it's also important for kids to get plugged into healthy community too, because they're all day long at school and they're surrounded by worldly things and can be really easy to get caught up in to the groupthink of what everyone at school is doing and kind of lose your identity into that. Whereas if you have a strong Christian community that you can go to and that can buoy you up through some of those difficult

Helping Kids Choose Good Friends

SPEAKER_04 20:03

times. So, how can parents help their kids build strong positive friendships that support their faith?

SPEAKER_05 20:08

I think one of the best way a parent can help model or can help build that is to model on what positive friendships look like as a parent. Goes for ourselves, like who we hang around is who we become. So for parents out there, just find Christian community yourself, build each other up. And I think when your kids see that, they're probably gonna gravitate towards kids at school or on maybe their soccer team with kids that are positive and loving and kind to one another.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

I feel like you have to know who your kids' friends are too. We always had kids were always at our house. Like I w I wanted my kids where I knew where they were and what they were doing, so the kids would always come to our house. I think that's can be helpful. And then you you begin to know who the families are, the kids. And not that you can necessarily dictate who they who their friendships are, but at least you have an idea of what influences are are there, how you permit them to go places or who they go with and what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

I'm curious, Austin. The uh how how did your I'm gonna guess your parents were intentional about this. What what were things that you experienced that that you could tell looking back now, like wow, that was that really did help promote positive friendship.

SPEAKER_05 21:17

Yeah, I think for myself and well my parents, like I can remember from a very young age them having small group Bible studies at our house on a regular basis. And just seeing that, sometimes I'd be in the other room and I could hear what was happening, other not, other times not. But but just seeing that modeled is believers coming together, being open about what's going on in their lives, praying together, holding one another accountable can go such a long way for a child. And then once my parents did that, families would bring their kids. And then once I started to get older, I remember my mom would give me lesson plans to teach the younger kids about Jesus. So I think that was a way of us just all building positive friendships and ultimately positive. Positive community to be one. And that's what Jesus Himself wants us. He wants us to be one with the Father and one with each other in spirit.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

And even going to church, growing up in a church. I mean, just all the kids that I, you know, friends from Sunday school and youth group, and then you know, it just I think that because you're already in the same faith and you're all I feel like that's an important thing too. Having a church to go to that has has young people in it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:27

Or maybe it's a a Christian summer camp to get your kids plugged in. That's a great way of meeting new people too and and building friendships.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

I would say too, if you're not going to a church right now, just go to one. I know it can be scary and intimidating, but just yeah, go to one and and get plugged in there and you'll you'll hopefully the church will welcome you in your and your family and your kids in, and I think that'll be a great way to start. So just take a risk and go. So let's jump to worship.

Worship Beyond Singing On Sundays

SPEAKER_04 22:54

So, what is worship and how can we help kids understand it's more than just singing at church?

SPEAKER_05 22:58

Well, I think for Americans, I feel like we have almost a wrong viewpoint on worship, or probably not probably not the right word viewpoint, but just perspective on what worship is. My mind, obviously, as a worship leader, it goes straight to musical worship, what we see in the church on a Sunday morning, but it's far more than just showing up and singing a bunch of songs. And that's very important. We're called to to sing spiritual songs and hymns at church. There's there's a time and a place for that. But I think true worship is surrendering, surrendering your heart to Jesus and living out the greatest commandments, loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, loving thy neighbor as yourself. I think those are some of the biggest ways that we can worship God. It's more than just, like I said, singing, singing a few songs on a Sunday morning or checking the box off to go to church or or even just attending a Bible study. Those things are great, but it's more than just going through the motions.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

No, I agree with that. I think worship can look like so many different things and come in so many different forms. I really think worship is just anything we do that is giving God the glory and the honor.

SPEAKER_04 24:04

All right, so what are some practical ways families can make worship a natural part of their everyday life and not just something that happens on Sundays?

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Well, as we talk have talked about prayer, that the Thanksgiving aspect of prayer seems like it kind of fits together with this, where if that's being cultivated in the home where you're continually together, invited to notice what God's been doing and what to thank Him for, it continues to place us as creatures in a you know posture of gratitude before Creator, which is all uh just a setup for worship. I mean, worship then is just the natural expression of uh from there, right?

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Yeah, I think we can turn like any of our things that can become mundane in our lives into worship if we change our perspective on it. Like even if we're just taking ten minutes to unload the dishwasher, like put on a worship song and worship, or use that time to pray and thank God. I think if we just start doing that more often, worship will come a lot more natural for us.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Yeah, famous uh there's a classic practice of the presence of God. Familiar with that one? My brother Lawrence. He was a he's a monk of some order of some kind. His job was to wash the pots and pans. And he he wrote this beautiful little uh kind of devotional theological treatise that it stays in print and it will always stay in print. And it was just a heart that was just enraptured with the love of God. Wash washing the pots and pans was was worship for him. And yeah, so you're on point with that, Marley. Brother Lawrence would would can would agree with you.

unknown 25:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:35

Mike, I've heard you talk about getting out into nature and how that is a good way to see God and worship him.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Yeah, that um yeah, thanks for bringing that up, Josh. That would be huge. And and it overlaps with probably a lot of some other podcasts and things

Nature As A Portal To Worship

SPEAKER_02 25:50

about the importance of encounters with our natural habitat environment. And because we uh are the world that we've created, we are very insulated from it. Even people that live in rural communities now, when you really think about how much contact we have with the natural environment, if you're going early in the morning to school to lift weights, and then you're in the schoolhouse all day and you have sports practice after school, and then it's dark when you go home and in the car back to the house, even if you live in a little rural community, your encounter your brushes with nature are very limited. And I don't think that that's very good for our souls. So to have some intentional encounters, and that's something parents can do that's very easy to do, is try to find ways to have time in nature, and that really becomes a portal for worship. And especially if you have the opportunity to get away some beautiful nature settings, and that's why we've always done churches that have always valued some of the camp trips and things, you know, or go to the mountains, because it really does take you to us, becomes a portal to things far beyond the mountains themselves and takes us into worship. So on Thursday nights over the years, I used to it would take kids, about 12 kids out horseback, and we would ride two and a half miles west uh to have a real simple prayer at sunset at the edge of the Canadian River, just beautiful, and then ride back as the stars are coming out and crickets are serenading us, and you know, going out. You might have a carpet of wildflowers and might hear the coyotes as you're going back in. But that whole immersion, like I said, kids are whether you live in the city or even if you're living in a rural area, pretty living very insulated from God's creation. So these trips are magical here at Boys Ranch where we do these prayer rides, and had a bunch of boys one night that I would say they were not like choir boys from church, okay? They they were kids that probably were pretty tone-deaf to the whole God thing. And kind of some of them were that doesn't mean because you're a skater dude that you're tone deaf to God, but they so happen to be non-cowboy kids, they're like these skater dudes and video gamers. On a whim, they wanted, they say, I will go do that. I think they just ride the horse, see what it's like. And you know, we just take them as they come and treat everybody with respect and and and let God do the rest, you know. There and don't we don't preach at them on those prayer rides. Just let God do his thing. And we get over there, and it was just this, just this remarkable night. The wildflowers, the sky was just doing all these intense color changes. And then the crickets and then the and the coyotes, and then right, and that little simple prayer, and and the part of that whole thing is no one has to talk, no one has to pray, just be respectful, those things when they're happening. So there's no uh expectation on part of the kids other than respect. And then that little prayer we have there, it just got so still, and it was like all creation, the crickets stopped chirping, the horses were like statues, and it's like all creation was praying in that little prayer with us. And amen. And I looked up at the boys' faces and they were gobsmacked. It's like, what just happened? And I just said off the cuff, I said, you know, boys, at times like this, it's kind of hard to be an atheist, isn't it? And every one of them in unison nodded their head in agreement. So, yes, it is. Those are the kind of things that can happen when we just immerse ourselves in the wonder of what God's created, right? It opens us up to worship. Even those that have been close to God

Tying Service Relationships Worship Together

SPEAKER_02 29:16

in general.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

So, how does service, relationships, and worship all work together to help a child's faith grow and become real to them?

SPEAKER_01 29:22

I think relationships is key to that. I think having, you know, adults in your life that are faithful and do service work and they worship and they're spontaneous in prayer, and that's what helps the child's faith grow. And and and then you have to you have to experience that stuff and see that stuff and be in that in order for it it to become real for you for me. So I think, you know, I I have been blessed here just, you know, with the relationships here that have taught me different things and and just still my faith is still growing in that, becoming more real every day because of the relationships that I that I have. So I think it's just as important for kids to experience that, you know. I I grew up with spiritual education, not spiritual formation, and I've learned from here about spiritual formation and how important that is, and and it's I think because of the people that have gone before me that that know and that share and that care and that spend the time that that's what's helped the formation and and and I think that's what we need to apply to kids today, is that's how they're gonna grow. Just taking the time, the time investment in that with the relationship and all that involves.

SPEAKER_05 30:32

I think cool thing about that question too is mentions how to service, relationships, and worship all work together. I think that embodies the greatest commandment. Also, I mean, it's more there's not just one right way of maybe growing in your faith, but there's so many different facets and different uh things that we can pursue to help us grow in our faith. Maybe that is going, like we talked about, going on a service project. Maybe that's having a mentor come into your life. Or maybe that's seeking God through worship and prayer. And when you do experience those things that can help a child's faith become more real to you, and just seeing it in action.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Yeah. No, that that's a great triad of you know, service relationships and worship, Josh. And yeah, if you if you stripped any one of those three out of there, just not gonna grow, is it? And kind of going back to like Mr. Lawless suggesting that those boys needed some service projects integrated into their you know, their spiritual care, not just the the devotionals and the educational content, but needed that. And it's like he was so right. I guess we as adults in churches, we can get stuck and really not grow if we're just in the pews and and with our Bibles and not and and really not engaging in service, don't you think? Yeah, those are that definitely all work together in a very beautiful

One Small Step For Parents This Week

SPEAKER_02 31:48

way.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

So for parents who feel busy or unsure on where to start, what's one simple step that they can take this week to help their kids begin living out their faith?

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Another thing that's helpful, and I think that Josh and Kate, you've mentioned this, but one, hey, just you know, find a faith community. I don't know, that for some reason church membership attendance has really been devalued over the last it's taken a beating over the last, I don't know, 40 years or so for some reason in kind of this modern world. I would say find a healthy church and don't overthink it. You know, there's everybody if you're looking for a perfect church or you know, don't don't shop that way, but just find a healthy church with good leadership and commit so you have you're surrounded by faith community and maybe in a mentor that's really trusted at that's wise, those are not easy to come by. There's no shortage of advice out there, and there's no shortage of mentor wannabes that think they might have the answers that really might have you on a wild goose chase. But that that wise soul in your life really, if right now if you're trying to start something new in your home for the sake of your kids' spiritual care, man, I'd I would really value that super wise mentor in my life during that, just just to kind of bounce things off of them, right?

SPEAKER_05 33:02

I think that's cool, Mike, too, because you talked about earlier how kids get placed in certain sections of their grades, whether they're in first grade, like first or third, those kids get sectioned or high schoolers get grouped together. But that is crossing boundaries, age boundaries, and really just letting the whole body of Christ come together and and kind of give something back to each other. And maybe for a parent who doesn't know where to start, maybe look at your own life and see where are you serving God and invite your child into that. Yes. Because if you can make that per like if you can do that, that's making it personal for the kid too.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

I think we talked about it in the last episode, but just starting small, like it doesn't have to be huge. I think something that can be helpful is just asking people what they need help with. A lot of times, especially when we think of service, we do have to think of it as being this big thing we have to go do, but it could just be helping somebody take their groceries inside, things like that. I think just taking the ordinary things that we do in life and giving all the ordinary things to God, and I think God will honor that.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

I could not stress this enough. The parents must, it starts with you and your spiritual work because if you're doing this and you're looking at your child as uh their objects and projects, you're gonna miss it. It's gonna be all it'll start to be all behavior-based and things like that. You're gonna lose your joy, it's gonna be frustrating. But if you could be on this journey together with the kids, that is and and they will be drawn into that. And Josh, you emphasize this a lot about how important that is in a lot of sectors, right? But if if you are really engaged yourself in your spiritual work, and then yeah, then that it will open up. And doesn't mean that they're gonna that there's not gonna be speed bumps and pushback and things like that. But if you're just trying to do this to fix the kid or do it to the kid and there are your objects and projects, that's gonna be frustrating for everybody.

Closing And How To Reach Us

SPEAKER_04 34:53

All right. Thank you so much for joining us today. You do me a great service by going and telling your friends and family to listen to Brain-based parenting. If you'd like to contact us and ask us a question, our email is podcast at calfarley.org. I'll make sure I leave the link in the description. And as always, you might have to loan out your cortex today. Just make sure you remember and get it back.

SPEAKER_00 35:10

Thank you for listening to Brain Based Parenting. We hope you enjoyed this show. If you would like more information about CalFarley's Boys Ranch, are interested in employment, would like information about placing your channel, or would like to help us help children by donating to our mission, please visit CalFarley.org. You can find us on all social media platforms by searching for Cal Farley's. Thank you for spending your time with us and have a blessed day.