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Welcome back to the St. Lorenz, Stephen ministry, caring for you podcast. If you're new here, this podcast is all about you. And we are here to help bring you Christ's healing love during the difficult situations you may be facing the crises, the challenging and unexpected life situations. Grief and loss, which we will cover today. If Stephen ministry is something that is a new to you, we'll cover some specifics about what Stephen ministry is a little bit later, but what it comes down to is we are about caring for you when you need it. Most. We are a confidential, one-on-one safe space for you to talk through the areas of your life that are overwhelming. The areas that are unexpected and difficult to navigate on your own. We want to be Jesus' hands and feet for you. As we walk along side, you. today we are going to discuss the topic of grief. And specifically where Stephen ministry and a Stephen minister. Can come alongside you when you are grieving the loss of a loved one or loss in other aspects of your life. This episode, it will primarily focus on grieving the loss of a loved one. But it's important to point out that grief can hit you in other areas and events in your life. For example, you may find yourself grieving the loss of a relationship. A loss of a job. Or what happens when situations in your life, when they come at us unexpectedly? We might have to grieve the loss. Of what we had expected our life to look like. For example it could be an illness or your health, maybe it's your family dynamic. And what you had envisioned for your family. It could be something with parenting. Or loss of what you envisioned for your career? All this is to say just a gentle reminder. That not all grieving is due to the loss or death of a loved one. If you're listening today and grieving over a loss From another area in your life. You will find the encouragement and hope here. Before we dive into that, my name is Lisa Stasik, and I am your host. I am also a Stephen minister and I author a blog called hope persevered. in this episode, we are going to talk about the heavy topic of grief that we touched on just a moment ago. so as we are nearing the holidays, And the weight of grief of that loved one that you have lost. The weight of their absence. It can be felt at every single family event. Every family tradition. Or even a simple thought of the holidays as they approach making this time of year. So immensely difficult. And so we wanted to address this right now, this topic of grief as we near Christmas. Because if you are facing this Christmas season and it's the first year without that loved one. Or even if this Christmas is one of many. That you have faced since you're in loss. I hope this episode will encourage you. I hope it will give you even a glimpse of hope. Especially if you feel anything but hope right now, We'll talk about grief from two standpoints. Number one, we'll mostly cover the loss of a loved one and encouragement and hope. If you're grieving right now. But we'll also cover some advice. If you have a family member or a friend that is grieving and you want to support them and give them some extra love this Christmas season. So kind of two sides of it. One, if you're grieving your loss of a loved one. Whether this is the first year, the first Christmas season without them. Or if there have been numerous Christmases leaving you grieving their loss. This episode is for you. Also, if you have a family member or a friend who's grieving and you just want to offer them some additions. Additional support some additional love. We'll talk about some ways that you can do that too. All right. So first of all, if you are grieving this holiday season, Give yourself permission to grieve. And that might sound, it might be easy to say. But it can be really hard to carry out. Give yourself permission to grieve. And what that might look like for you. It may be different than how someone else grieves. Because we all grieve differently and if you and your family are grappling with the loss of your loved one. First of all, it's okay to grieve and you might have to give yourself permission to do that. try to sit in the grief if you will, as often as you need. Because there is no timeline. There is no time limit. Because we can be so tempted to hurry up our grief kind of push it aside. just move on as quickly as possible. we just want to feel better. Not deal with it and make it go away, expecially around the holidays. Expecially when we want to kind of feel the warmth of Christmas. We can be tempted to just shove that grief aside. But give yourself permission to grieve. And your grief. In might come in intense waves as you are relentlessly crashed again. And again with varying waves of grief. And I'm reminded as we're covering this topic of grief. It comes in waves. And then it's probably, if you've experienced grief, you know what I'm talking about? It just, it hits. And hits again. And it hits again, but I'm reminded of Isaiah 43 verse two, which says this. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. And when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you. And the imagery that comes to mind. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. We have imagery of being surrounded by water, right. Pass through the waters. They shall not overwhelm you waves. Like we talked about the waves of grief. They surround waves. They can overwhelm. When the wave of grief hits, I pray you're reminded of God's tender words. From Isaiah 43. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. I will be with you though, the Almighty, your Creator. He promises is that, so I hope that promise can bring you some comfort. He'll be with you when those waves crash over you over and over and over. And that's the thing about waves they keep coming and it can feel that way when you're grieving expecially this time of year or on holidays. It can feel like your grief, that it doesn't relent. But look back to Isaiah 43, God who will never leave us, uses the example of a waters surrounding you. They shall not Overwhelm you. Imagery use of show that he will never leave you. And think about a wave for a moment. It crashes all around you. you can't stop it. You can't control it. You can't even time it. And think about grieving crashes all around you, you can't stop it. You can't control it and you can't time it either. Yet. In the midst of it, you're not alone. So that is the first takeaway, give yourself permission to grieve And know that as the waves of Grief. Crash over you that God, he promises he will be with you. Okay. So God is, always with you even when you were covered in grief, but are there any practical, tangible day-to-day things you can do as you're navigating this holiday season? Carrying this heavy. Burden of grief. Okay. here it is. There is sometimes the best thing to do is simply the next thing. Sometimes the best thing to do is simply the next thing. Take each task. One at a time. for example, if you want to stay in bed to say. That all you want to do. Is stay in bed. All right, try the next thing standing up. Maybe then you go brush your teeth. Maybe you wash your face, give your self permission to take one thing at a time. Especially if this is your first holiday without your loved one. Or your loss is new. Try to focus on the next thing. And if this is that first holiday, if this is that first Christmas, this Christmas, try to focus on. This Christmas, right? This holiday, not next year or the year after that, because it can be easy to feel like. All right, this year's going to be different and so will the next and the next and the next. And it will never be the same. But what you do this holiday season and what you do this year, as you are coping and grappling with this new loss, it does not mean it will be your new tradition every year that you have to follow. Sometimes the best thing you can do is the next thing. I'm not sure whose quote this is, but it says this when we have loved much, we grieve much. And ho how true that is. You may find yourself in some days more than others as we near Christmas. Covered in their loss, missing them and wishing you could spend more time with them. Because when we have lost someone, it will never feel like we've had enough time. When we have loved much, we grieve much. And let's pause and focus on that for a second. We have loved much Because there are some biblical truths that I want to point out. that you can hold on to. But I want to start right there by acknowledging the love you have for the one you've lost. cause that love doesn't go away. When you have loved much. Let's look at first John four 19, it says this. We love. Because you first loved us. We love because Christ first loved us. You love them because Christ first love you. And they love you because Christ first loved them. You see, we can't properly focus on the loved one that you've lost without understanding where that love comes from in the first place. Because it goes back to him to Christ, to our savior. We can't talk about grieving and loss without talking about the one who created, who loved, who chose, who chose their loved one to be in your family. Or who chose them for whatever that relationship. Whether it was a spouse, a child, a parent, a grandparent, and dear friend. God. Chose them. He chose them as your friend, your spouse, your child, your parent, whatever that relationship looked like. And you as you're listening, you know what that relationship was? But what a gift that was that God chose them for you. But in that, in his choosing them for you. Choosing them and giving them to you. They were yours, but they were his first. They were yours, but they were God, first. So what comfort there is in knowing that your loved one who passed away that they are his knowing that your loved one is in the presence of the Lord And you're going to see them again. And this is one of my favorite verses, and this has brought me great comfort in the losses. I have had in my life. First Thessalonians four verses 13 to 14. It says this, but we do not want you to be uninformed brothers about those who are asleep. that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For, since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so through Jesus, God will bring with him. Those who have fallen asleep. And Jesus tells us himself in John 11, verse 25. The versus this Jesus told her. I am the resurrection in our life. Whoever believes in me though he die. Yet, shall he live? You will see them again. You will see them again and know them at that promised resurrection. And let's talk about that. Promise resurrection for a moment. But I thought we were nearing Christmas and not Easter. You see Jesus whose birth. We are getting ready to celebrate this advent season. His birth. Ushered in your forgiveness, his birth ushered in your redemption and his birth. It ushered in the promise of his second coming that promise resurrection. Through Jesus. God will bring with him. Those who have fallen asleep. That second resurrection. My son. So he recently. Brought home and Advent devotional and the very beginning it says this, and I want to share it with you. It says advent is the season before Christmas that we spend in hopeful anticipation of Jesus' birth. And his second coming. And his second coming. And those promises that surround his second coming, take heart. This advent season, as you prepare for Christmas in the absence and grief of the loved ones you have lost. That you truly can grieve and grieve in a way that firmly holds onto the promise that you will see your loved one again, at that promised. Resurrection. May you go forward into this holiday season on that foundation of faith. So, if you are listening, And feeling like how. Can I possibly face or go forward this holiday season? You can grieve and I encourage you to give yourself permission to grieve. Like we talked about a few moments ago, but doing that in light of God's word promises, you. So you can grieve, but as you do hold onto the hope in that future resurrection. because you see that promise resurrection. The one that's still to come that changes everything. And you might have to remind yourself of that over and over again. When the waves of grief crash around you, that God is with you. And as Jesus himself says in John 11, verse 25, I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me though he die yet. Shall he live? In that verse is so powerful. Expecially this advent and Christmas season. It will help take your grief from an overwhelming worldly perspective. And it shifts it to an eternal perspective. When you let the promises of scripture really sink in and grab hold of you. You will start to see a shift from a worldly perspective. To an eternal one. But it doesn't mean. and if you've listened to the first podcast episode, you've already heard this. But. Don't make it mean something. It was never supposed to mean. Don't make those promises of scripture mean that you should no longer be sad, you know, somehow that you should be done grieving. because that's just simply not true. Because scripture, and I love this about God's word, it's alive and active. But God's word it weaves and works through every single situation. So we told you early on today to give yourself permission to grieve and practically speaking that might be doing the next thing you need to do today. And the day after that, and then day after that. So you don't need to stop grieving. You give yourself permission to do so for however long you need. But grieving when you have the hope of Scripture. As your foundation. There is a peace that will settle in. All right. Let's circle too. As we touched on in the beginning. If you're listening and wondering, how can you support that person in your life? Who, you know, this advent and Christmas season is expecially hard. You can know they are grieving and want to give them some extra support. And love this season. We don't leave them. Let's look at Naomi and Ruth. She didn't leave Ruth didn't leave Naomi. OMI lost both of her sons. Ruth didn't leave her. It would have been easier for her to go back home. Right? Go back, go where it was comfortable. But she didn't leave. She stayed. so, If you have a loved one grieving this Christmas. And you want to give them support. You stay and what that might look like for you. Maybe you reach out with a phone call or a text or a card, let them know they're on your mind. Or if you see them at a Christmas party or a family Christmas, sit with them. Talk with them. Listen and listen some more. If they want to open up. You being present and acknowledging them in their grief. I might make the world of difference. this holiday season. So to bring this all together, grief is a hard. It is real and. The holidays can make it so difficult. We're surrounded by holiday, glowing lights and Christmas trees and all the shiny things decorations, you know, this time of year brings. And we know this time of year can just be so hard. I hope this offers you some encouragement. If you or a loved one are grieving this holiday season. talking with someone like a Stephen minister. It can give you the support you need especially this time of year. Sharing an opening up about grief can be so beneficial. And as Stephen ministers, we are here for you after a major loss. We are here to support you after you get that news or that phone call that you never thought you'd get. We're here. after the funeral. After life for everyone else has gone back to normal, but yours hasn't. When those waves of grief are still crashing all around you. And again, and again, and again. We are here for you after the loss of a loved one. But what about the other losses we face that we kind of touched on in the beginning. You know, if you are grieving the loss of a relationship that is broken. Maybe it's a relationship that has fallen apart. We are here for you. If you are grieving the unexpected weight or shock of an illness for yourself or for a loved one. We are here for you. If you have adult children who have left your home and now you're an empty-nester. And your home is empty. This holiday season. We are here for you. If you've lost your job or your career. We are here for you. And when your friends and your family, they quickly shift that conversation. But you still need to talk. You still need to talk it through. We are here for you. If you are a loved one are grieving the loss. and X expecially hard this time of year. Hold onto the hope you have in that future resurrection. Hold onto your memories of your loved ones. And onto the one to your savior who promises he'll never leave you. Even when the water surrounds you, when the waves of grief, crash over you. More information about our Stephen ministry program can be found@christgiveshope.org. And if you're interested in Stephen ministry for yourself or a loved one, More information can be found at Christ. Gives hope. Dot org. we have future episodes coming up after the new year. So subscribe. So you don't miss out on any future topics. 2024, we will kick off the topic of anxiety. And just a quick side note, this is not medical advice. If you need to talk to a professional or need professional care, From a physician that is beyond the scope of Stephen ministry. right. Thank you so much for listening. I hope this was encouraging to you. Merry Christmas and God's blessings.