0:00

Hi, welcome back to episode six of the St. Lorenz, Stephen Ministry, Caring for You Podcast. In today's episode, we're going to talk about loving others when the relationship is difficult. But before we explore that if you are new here, this is a podcast all about you. We aim to bring you Christ's healing love during the hard. The crises, the difficult life challenges that you may be facing. And if Stephen Ministry itself is something new to you, we are all about caring for you when you need it. Most. Stephen Ministry is a free, confidential, safe space for you to talk through the areas of your life that you are struggling with. We want to be Jesus' hands and feet for you. As we walk alongside you. My name is Lisa Stasik, and I am your host. I am also a Stephen Minister. I serve alongside many men and women in our Stephen Ministry program at St. Lorenz who have a heart for the Lord. They are full of compassion and truly wish to support you and be that steady, calming presence as you face. Life's many challenges. if you are local to St. Lorenz, we have a team of Stephen Ministers ready to support you. And if you're listening from elsewhere, I encourage you to check with your local church. Stephen Ministry is a national ministry with headquarters in St. Louis, Missouri. And chances are very good. There's a local Stephen Ministry program near you. All right. Our last episode talked about finding joy when life situations are hard. Particularly when you don't feel joyful. We looked at what joy is and what it is not. And if you hadn't had a chance to check that one out yet, I encourage you to listen. When you have a few moments. It's almost like a reset. If you will, a redefining, we did that with joy and today we're going to do that with love. Specifically in relationships with others. When that feeling of love doesn't come easy. Like we talked about last time with joy. It can be so easy to allow the influences around us to define it. And the same happens with the topic of love. Just look at the news or any social media platform for even a quick moment. And it doesn't take long to see examples of how our culture, how society today portrays love one way. And then we look to God's Word and they are often opposite of one another. And our culture today, what is right is now considered wrong. What is wrong is now considered right. And that's not the purpose for today, but I want to point that out because we can't look at how the world, how the media or how our culture defines certain important. God given gifts, expecially in this greatest gift of love. And we touched on this in the last episode, but it's worth repeating. The enemy has twisted this topic of love. And we're going to back up for a second. And Jesus, he characterized the enemy this way in John 8 44. And Jesus says, the enemy is this. He is a liar and the father of lies. So what happens is we have the truth of God's Holy Word and the enemy. He takes it and twists it. And it may seem true on the surface. It may even have some truth attached. it may even feel true. but let's look at the very beginning. Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden. That's Genesis three, verse one. did God actually say he made Eve question God's authority. God's word. God's spoken word. And that happens again and again today. Notice the enemy, didn't say, God doesn't exist. But instead he had planted a seed of doubt. he made Eve question. God's design. His intention, His creation, all of it with the simple twisting of the truth. Did God actually say. As we explore how to love others. When relationships are difficult, we will look at what our culture and society says. And then we're going to contrast that with the truth of Scripture. Because it's that same lie to God actually say underneath all of it. Underneath how love is defined. Underneath how love is to be obtained and where to find it. All right, let's kick this off with the question. I want you to think about as you are listening. What are some things you love? All right. Go ahead and think about that for a second. What are some things. You love. I'll give you a couple of examples of things I love. I love my husband, my kids. Obviously, I love coffee in the morning. I love the beach. I love reading. And these examples I just gave. They certainly are things that we can feel love for. And I am not saying it's wrong to say that you love any of those things, but the word love today, it often gets overused. Watered down even. And I think It has lost some of its true meaning. Love has been this thing that we attach to so many different things. All right. Coffee, jobs, houses, et cetera. And I'm not saying that as wrong in and of itself, but it's important that we don't allow that to slowly etch away and change our definition and perception of this greatest gift. This gift of love. So, what is love? I just listed off these things. We love. So love must be a feeling towards something. No, it's so much more than that. Well, what does our culture say? What does our society tell us? What is plastered everywhere. We look at social media. The world tells us that what is love? The world has a love is love. And on the surface, that may seem right. It seems like there's could be some truth with it. But what I hope to do today is give you a different perspective. A different definition of what truly love is and show you how it can change the way you approach those difficult relationships in your life. All right. How does God's word define love? We don't need to look very far then first John four, verse eight. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. God is love. God is love. As scripture tells us, says the Lord. The almighty, the creator of all creation. The great, I am the Three in One, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who spoke this world into being. Whom scripture tells us in the beginning was the word and the word was with God. And the Word was God, that God. He is love and that love it is rooted in the very character. Nature and heart of your Heavenly Father. But this is where the enemy has attacked. That very definition with the same lie. We are not reminded everywhere. We look on our society today that God is love. But instead we are told love is love. It's the same lie. It's that same lie underneath it. God actually say You. See. God is love as the base of our definition. Says the Lord, the Almighty God's word is my foundation on which my actions and my decisions will be weighed against. And that love leaves you covered in Jesus' unconditional grace. His forgiveness, his truth, his presence, and it changes everything. but love is love as our definition. Says really well, anything goes. Love. It's what you make it. It's different for you. It's different for me. You know, it's what feels good. It's what makes you happy? It depends on how I feel. And that definition that love is love as our foundation. It leaves you constantly searching for that next thing. Never quite content. Always searching for ways to feel good about yourself. Maybe your circumstances always searching for ways to feel significant, secure, important, loved all of it. Believing the lie that we need to achieve. what was never meant to be achieved. Love was never meant to be this thing we need to achieve because it can so easily go there. You know, it can feel right. we love our families. We love our friendships some examples we touched on earlier and there's nothing wrong with that. But what we want to be careful with that we don't allow them to mean something. They were never meant to mean. And they don't become our source of love, this beautiful gift of love. So this love that God intended. This love that says God is love. It will change your perspective and how you approach difficult relationships in your life. So, how should we define love? We have to define it correctly. Because of how we define it, impacts how we act on it. All right. So there are two definitions of love that I want to give you today. The first definition of love is this. God is love again. That's first John four, verse eight. It is His character. We love because God first loved us. First, John four 19. We love because he first loved us. You love because Christ first loved you. You love your spouse, your family, your children, your friends, because Christ. First loved you. We love because He first loved us. The second definition, and this is one of my favorites. This definition makes the first, this God is love. Come alive. It is from a Bible study. My husband and I did. A few years ago called the Engagement Project. By Dr. Del Tackett. And this definition builds on a biblical foundation of Christ and it has an actionable element to it. To me, it's profound. And it has stuck with me, Dr. Del Tackett. It defines love this way. Love is a steadfast sacrificial zeal that seeks the true good of another. Love is a stead fast. Sacrificial zeal that seeks the true good of another. And that definition, it permeates truth. throughout the entirety of scripture and it doesn't contradict. Love is a steadfast sacrificial zeal that seeks the true. Good. Of another. We're going to take a look at some Bible passages and see how this definition. Plays out in Scripture. number one, the sacrificial zeal. Jesus immediately comes to mind. The cross, he was that final sacrifice When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said it is finished and he bowed His head and gave up His spirit. That's John 19 verse 30. It is finished His death ushered in your forgiveness. His death ushered in your redemption and he is going to come back and make all things new at that promised resurrection. And there is no greater love. Number two Ephesians five verses one to two. Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. A fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. As Christ gave himself up for us. There it is again, that steadfast sacrificial zeal. And number three. Our final versus this is one of my favorites. Love is patient and kind it does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing. But rejoices with the truth. First Corinthians 13, four to six. love that is a steadfast sacrificial zeal that seeks a true good of another is patient. Love is patient with your spouse or your family member when you are annoyed and feel anything. But patience.. Love is kind love. That is a steadfast sacrificial zeal that seeks a true good of another. It does not envy another person's job, house lifestyle, et cetera. It does not boast to seek your own good. It does not boast rather it seeks the true. Good of another. I encourage you. in coming days or weeks to ponder that definition, And go through each of these characteristics of love. Laid out in first Corinthians 13 on your own. It has shifted my perspective. And given me a deeper understanding of the character of God, this God who is love. And it will help show you the areas of your life, where you can reflect His character to others. Especially to others when it does not come easy. When that relationship is difficult. You know how we said in the beginning that our culture, our society portrays love one way. And then God's Word. They are opposite of each other. The world's definition. Love is love. Ultimately is self seeking. But God's definition. God is love. Ultimately is selfless. It shifts a perspective. Instead of being about ourselves, it makes it about the other person. It makes it about them. And right back to the sacrificial zeal. What might a sacrificial zeal look like? It could be, you give up the right to be right. You might give up the right to get even. But this idea of giving something up because you truly love someone else. The sacrifice. It is nothing new. The ultimate sacrifice has already been done. Your Heavenly Father, He gave up His son for you. Jesus. He gave up his life for you. He chose the cross for you. He gave it up. He gave it all up. That final sacrifice it is finished. You are forgiven. You are redeemed, you are chosen and he has called you by name. You are his, there is no greater love. So when we truly understand this love the steadfast. Sacrificial zeal. that seeks the true, good of another. When we allow God's character, the truth of His Word to define it, you will start to view yourself and your relationships differently. And if you are struggling right now and finding it difficult to show love. Or feel love towards someone else and you don't want it that way when you truly try to seek someone else's true. Good. you will find it easier to look past the hurt past the resentment, past the bitterness, the disagreement. That different point of view and show compassion in a way you couldn't before. when you are able to seek someone else's true. Good. You will also find it easier to not take the offense personally. A wise friend shared with me that she used to tell her kids this advice and it is so good. She would say this. Hurt people hurt people. And they are hurting because they have been hurt in their lives. So try not to take it personally. But if you have offended them in any way than apologize. See when you don't take it personally, When you were able to go back to that definition of love, you'll find it easier to speak in kindness instead of anger. You'll be able to view that situation differently. So, if you are facing a difficult relationship, maybe it's broken. And you find yourself asking. How can I show love to this person? Go back to that definition. I love as a steadfast sacrificial zeal that seeks their true good. and you don't have to navigate that relationship on your own. We have a team of Stephen Ministers ready to walk alongside you. Stephen Ministry is a confidential free Ministry. It isn't non-judgemental. And there is no judgment here. It is a safe space and talking with a compassionate, trustworthy Stephen Minister, maybe just what God has planned to help carry you through. If you have a relationship that is broken right now through. the cross of Jesus, God can make you whole. The heart of Stephen Ministry, it is rooted in the biblical principle that Christ cares for people through people. And at St. Lorenz. We have a team of Stephen Ministers ready to support you to care for you. More information about our Stephen Ministry program can be found at Christ. It gives hope.org. if you are interested in Stephen Ministry for yourself or a loved one. More information can be found@christgiveshope.org. And please take a moment to subscribe. So you don't miss any future episodes. And a quick note. This is not medical advice. If you need professional care. Or care. from a physician that is beyond the scope of Stephen Ministry. Thank you so much for listening. God's blessings to you.