The Feminine Outliers
Join two globally-minded, culture-curious women as they share the raw, real, and sometimes radical journey of uprooting their lives from the African continent to forge new paths in the US and UK. This isn’t just about immigration, it’s about Self Discovery. Through bold conversations and honest storytelling, they unpack what it truly means to seek sovereignty in identity, womanhood, work, and self-worth despite where you are from or where you are headed. From navigating culture shock to redefining success, love, and belonging, this is a space for anyone who’s ever questioned the script and dared to live beyond borders.
The Feminine Outliers
Why are Westerners Called Expats and Non-Westerners Called Immigrants?
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In this episode we delve into the world of Double Standards that exist in this world especially from the Western and non-Western view points. We tap into our experiences as African women who have experienced some of these double standards.
00:00 Welcome Back to the Feminine Outliers Podcast
02:34 Discussing Double Standards: Western vs Non-Western
03:25 Expat vs Immigrant: A Deep Dive
10:37 Personal Experiences and Observations
19:17 The Power of Labels and Media Narratives
22:40 Media's Negative Portrayal of Non-Western Countries
23:11 Perceptions of America from Abroad
23:39 The Illusion of the Western Dream
24:54 Psychological Impact of Media Narratives
27:42 Questioning the Narrative
29:12 The Power of Marketing and Perception
32:56 Conspiracy Theories and Critical Thinking
35:57 Reflecting on Double Standards
42:33 Conclusion and Call to Action
Welcome everyone to the Family Elias podcast, IDO of fun, love, advice, and experiences from two African professional women living and working in the western world. We are your hosts Zelda Sal, and we are excited to have you here with us today. So welcome back. I know we've been gone for. Sometime life has been laughing. We've been trying to figure things out, but we are back and we hope that this is a somewhat brand new starts ish, kind of like a, I dunno what you call it.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Let's just, we're just relaunching, we're, we're relaunching every time as we get better, let's say we're just refining ourselves and we are getting better Zelle. So let's, let's not give too much labels to this. We're just, we're, we're, we're rising. We're rising. That, that, that's all I'll say.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I mean, you know what guys? This is all I've gotta say is that when in the future, when we're looking back to these days. You know, we'll appreciate them
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I, I see people who have gone and they're have made, you know, the podcasts have become, you know, very successful and they're doing more and more of what they love, but they always look back to those days when they start.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710for those of you who are here with us now, let's, I don't know what the future will hold for us, but I'm excited.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710I am
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710it,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710too.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710if we have any mistakes or anything, we are correcting them as we go.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yes,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710we definitely correct them as we go. So,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710All the
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710uh,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yes, we got this. We got this. Every time we do a podcast, I'm just like, yay. Like it's a vote for what we're doing, and I'm for it. I'm here for it. have six more months and we got this or it five more months now. But you get the
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710um.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710have to. Four
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710yeah, I, I, no, it's not four months. It's July, so it's technically it's six months. It was five and a half months
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Five and a half. Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710to be.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710well, that's enough time to change the world, literally. So, um, yeah. So let's go, let's keep going. Let's keep rolling.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710That's exciting. Today we have a fun topic, which you guys can probably guess based off the title of the episode slash video. And we're in general talking about dabble standards that exist in the world.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mostly more so in relation to Western versus non-Western standards. So like, you know, western countries versus other, unquote third world countries.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710So we are just basically going to be talking about that.'cause we definitely have opinions on those things. Definitely have things to say, things we've witnessed and all that. So I think it's just fun to just engage in that discussion and see where it'll go. And to start us off is you know, why are. Caucasians called expats and people of color called immigrants whenever they move to another country. And this is something we, I think we talked about it at some point in the past, but we kind of briefly, we stumbled into it
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710we are both, technically, we're both living outside of our home countries
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710in a sense, right? Like and. We're called immigrants here in the West, and then in like back home for me, like back home in Kenya, you find that the Caucasians, like Europeans, Americans and stuff, when they come into the country, it doesn't necessarily have to be just Caucasians,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710just saying, but for the most part it is. But if it's like Caucasians or Asians even Latinos people from. African,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710when they come into Kenya, a lot of them are considered expats. And it kind of carries a like serious kind of tone.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710unique.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Yeah.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710a lot of these people have come in with like, benefits and stuff because you know, if it's the government, like government is paying for this and that, they go to really nice schools because they don't have to pay for it themselves. Their companies are paying for it. They live in nice homes, nice places and everything.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And so whenever I thought about expats, honestly that's what I thought about.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Uh. I know it exists. Like you find when Westerners particularly go to like, you know, non-Western countries, they're literally a lot of times called expats. But then now you flip the switch around
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710non Westerners are going to Western countries. Whether it's for the same thing, whether it's for work.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Um, I mean, yes, for some people it's to get a be better life, but let's focus on people who are just going there for work and stuff like that.'cause the western Westerners who are coming to non-Western countries also coming for work, right?
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710we flip it the other way around. We're called immigrants,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710and then immigrants kind of has a more negative connotation to it. It doesn't have that luxurious thing. And maybe it's because you're coming from a. Quote unquote, like a more disadvantaged background of, or country.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And so it was just a very interesting thing for us to think about.'cause I never thought about it growing up
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710until like, I actually recently like was faced with that. I was like, wait.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710wait, why is that the case?
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710interesting.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710That's, yeah, no, that's, that's very interesting zeal.'cause I, I was thinking that right now, especially in the media, what's going on around the world during the Western world when it comes to immigration, there's this connotation or association that immigrants are. up space, taking up jobs. Like there's a, taking from the country that they're going to, experts have this connotation of a giving, so like a celebration of their wisdom or their skills or their talent. There's this sense of, you're going to give, so you should be celebrated. And then with immigrants, you're coming to take, so we should Be cautious and question why are you here? Like, how long are you gonna be here for? And, and so there is that, and as you were saying,, I was wondering who's writing the narrative? Because is there
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710is, is, has this got something to do with some con self-confidence? Like where we, if we're talking about. Let's say in the context of Africa, an expert, wherever they're coming from outside that home country, saying that we do not have confidence of what to do or what we're doing, and so we are inviting you into us to, to help us. And so I, that's what I'm trying to say. And then maybe from the point of being an immigrant, it's more like, you should be grateful that you even giving you the chance because really may not have needed you, but I think there's also a need. So I, I don't know. So I, I wonder who's, who's in charge of the, this script.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710There. That's a good question. I mean, there's definitely someone up there who's pulling the little puppet strings and it is like. Trying to do what, you know, give a narrative that works for them. And it's probably someone in the western world because it, the narrative is more favorable towards the Western world than it is toward the non-Western world. It has to be, because I'm like, why is it?
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And, you know, yes. We're, I'm gonna mention chat, GPT'cause we kind of did look it up, but there's some important, statement. It said, that. Basically the use of the language, expat immigrant, it reflects power, privilege, and racial dynamics, especially in global context,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm. Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710which is what you're saying,, where did this come from? Or why did they create it, you know? For example, expat is short for expatriate, which means someone who lives outside of the native country immigrant refer to someone who moves to another country, usually for permanent residents.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Maybe because of that, maybe you are more likely to be immigrants are more likely to try and get a better life
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710outside than experts are. But experts also, I mean, for people who know if, if you know, you know. You can live a really great life
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710the west because if you're being provided for your school, who's being paid for, you're being given housing allowance for really nice big houses. Nice big cars. People live like kings and queens out there,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710people who know it, they know, like they definitely go and experience that. And so even experts are also in a sense trying to get a better. Life. Yes, you might have some who are like doing it for charity reasons and stuff like that, but I think you have that in both sides, but more so experts, I guess, based of the thing.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710So it's, so it makes us,, beg the question why was it created? And it, it creates this racial and class bias, you know? Um.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710it's goes back exactly, and it goes back to like colonial hierarchies
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710and because obviously whenever you have Westerners coming to, like in the colonialism, they were just considered expats and stuff like that.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710just have never broken free from that narrative
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right?
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710for some reason. Because like for example, choa, you had an experience in. If you don't mind sharing,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710uh, in Rwanda, like, explain.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Oh yeah, that was, that was actually very interesting. Yes, I, I got the chance to, volunteer in, in Rwanda and,, I was with other American students at the time, so we're all grouped together to volunteer and help out with this. Um. Uh, national campaign, to dealing with water filters and cook stoves. And, it was interesting to me because I, there were two of us who were, black and the rest were Caucasian, so I think it was four or five others. So I think we're, we're a total of seven or eight. don't remember accurately, but, it was very interesting to see how. Just navigating Rwanda with them was interesting because we would be in a car and if we stopped by to get some food from a little tiny shop in the village, it was so interesting how the kids will all run up to the car and like, you know,'cause they're so curious.'cause they haven't seen, I think Caucasians. But also when I would interact with the locals and I would say. No, I'm coming from the US like, like I'm, I'm with these people, like these other, this group, these people, they would be so shocked. They'll be like, huh, because I think they didn't picture a black person doing the same job as. The Caucasians because it was like they, I think they were used to like Caucasians being the ones that come and volunteer and do charity work. But the fact that like as a black person, and to make it even more interesting is because I'm from Zambia.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Um.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710I would tell them, like in fact they actually thought I was. Rues and I, and I was somehow like the local person helping out these other people and I'm like, no, no, we are on the same page. When we go home, I'm getting on the plane. That's all. So, but it, it just shocked them'cause they were like, oh, you're part of, and in a way, I don't know if it gave them. Like, also like a sense of pride in a way, because it was like, Ooh, okay. You are with these people. Okay. Winning, like, I don't know if it gave them the winning vibe, you know? So I, yeah, that's, yeah, that's one interesting experience. Um, and it, it's also just the, as you said, the expert life as well, because we did really live well. You know, at
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710time, and were, yeah, we were just treated really well. Even places that we went to, restaurants, bars, all of that. It was, it's one of those things of where you even think to yourself for the work that you have done, do you really deserve all of this? Because, you know, it wasn't like rocket science work. It was. It was effort, it was physical effort that I probably do more work that I, I don't know that I would be like, I deserve a vacation myself after all this work I've done. But then when it's, the effort is, seems rather minimal because you're volunteering. You're actually volunteering and so you're being helped as well. And there are locals that are helping you also who are pu pulling up, who are putting up with more work to make sure that we are also safe. So yeah. Very interesting Zel.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I must have got you thinking like why?
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710like why, and it's just like the, the other part about it is the willingness for people to accept what is being given. There is no, there's, I, I don't know, I don't know how it works from a government level in terms of vetting, um, what help and what is needed for their villages, for the community, there's just, there's such an acceptance, like it's a good thing. Like the act of the giving is good, and so. open, we invite you with open arms and keep coming back and just keep coming. And so I, I, I dunno, there's that element there, which is different, right? For, for immigrants where there's more of a vetting process, like applications to apply, to get accepted, to get approved, double checked, triple checked, all of this just to make sure that. You are, it's okay. Even though in your mind you're just I'm, I'm here for a job and I've trained for it, and, but you still go through so many, I don't know. It's just so many, um, processes just to be deemed being able to work or serve the country you're in. So it's very interesting.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Right. And it is just, again, I, I mean, I think like it's the West that's, pulling the narrative. They're the ones who are creating it, and we have stuck with it, and we have kept it as is. And I think that's one of the things. I mean, I must admit though, nowadays I feel like the Gen Zs and all that, they're a little bit more. How do I say woke
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Like they're very, and I think because of internet and everything,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710you are able to actually see or hear a lot more of these things. So like you are more likely to hear, for example, come across our podcast and say, that's talking about these issues. Whereas back in the day, our parents would not be able to have access to this unless it was on the radio. And I'm pretty sure something like this would not be on the radio.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Or something like that. So they had limited access to that. So I think because of how there's so much more flow of information, via the internet, it's easier for people to actually see these things and start questioning things.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710still think it only happens. Correction It's more so easy for people to question these things in cities. I think in the villages still, a lot of times these people still think that way.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710they still have that mindset. But the thing is that we just like, at least in Africa, a lot of times we just readily accept these labels. Like we don't fight them. We just accept it until we come, for example, we are here in the western world and then we're like, but why did these labels exist? We just don't question that. And then as it comes to the government, again, none of us really, I don't know. Or if I had a superpower, I would like to be invisible and go and just see what happens in behind closed doors in governments, because I think that would just be so like intriguing.'cause I also don't know what our governments are doing. I'm pretty sure the way I think about it is I feel like our politicians in Kenya just want to like, um, they know that whether by them being corrupt and taking all the money to themselves, it's not benefiting the country, but then they, they benefit because they get the money in their pocket. They get to do what they want to do.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And so they may not mind these labels because as long as they're getting their money, they're like, whatever.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710think it's very problematic. We just go with this and blindly and not think about it because it's still the same thing. Like in, because in the same way when it comes to double standards, you know, we might be,. V Villainizing the west, but also in our own countries. Another double standard, which is related to this is how if you go on vacation, for example, in your own country, if you are white, they'll probably be like running to you trying to like, you know, give you the best service every, they assume you have money and all that, but then if you are black or if you're, you are, you're from that country.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710kind of like you wouldn't, you might not receive the same level of service.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710In my head I'm like, why? You are all in the same hotel. You are all waiting for the same service. Why are we as our own fellow Africans doing things like that? And you've heard people complain about things like that
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710and it's like, it's, it's very, there's such a, it's bad double standard and it goes with. It makes me think about the power of the single story because the single stories, maybe like expats are westerners and they have money, and immigrants are people of color and they don't have money and they're running, they're coming for better life, they're running away from stuff and all that, and everyone has stuck to the story
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710people are not questioning it and it's so dangerous because now. Yes, the Western world pools it, but then also the non Westerners also just, it's like they play their role by fitting into
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm. Right. Exactly. And if you're making me think about the media and how the, the labeling, the titles,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710when you find. Um, like I was just thinking of, um, is it b uh,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm. Oh, the,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah, Faso's president
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710uh.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710he is, he seems to be doing so much in the country, putting up manufacturing facilities, giving jobs, healthcare, and they, and the it, so it looks like the people are feeling those changes and his leadership, there also talks about how he is like a dictator or
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710So then you're like, huh. Because some,'cause he's confident and he's got, he's principled on his leadership and all of that. It's now a problem. But
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710if it was done somewhere else, it would be like, oh, that's a great leader. We should praise that person. So the,'cause even when you see, and, and I was just thinking about,. What do you call this about instability back home? When there is something going on, it's almost like, oh, is there a war in Africa? But people might just be fighting for their human rights like everybody else, but then it's a war, it's instability. Don't go there. It's problematic. Like there's
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I mean, it was just a protest.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710exactly.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710it's just like, why, why, why, why is. Why is like Africa just in context associated with the negative things, but when it's put on the other side, it's like a positive thing. And you know, it also just even reminds me of like. When you bring it on a personal level, things like the angry black woman when she's assertive versus, a woman with, leadership qualities. There's, there's just like, huh. It just runs deep. That's what I'm saying. The, the, these nar, these titles and labels run so deep. Um, yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710true. It's so true. And again, they're all made to make the West look better and the non Westerners to look worse because that's how even the media'cause like. And this is sad, but in a lot of countries I think it might be changing slowly in like non-Western countries, but I still think there's a prevalence in the sense that when they show the western world, they tend to show the good parts of the western world and all the good things to anticipate and stuff. So everyone who's not in the western world, or even the people in the western world would be like, oh, we live in a great place. And the people who are non westerners will be like, oh, we want to live. There. And then when they show the non-Western world, a lot of times they tend to show very negative aspects.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And so you don't want to live in that place. You think that place is terrible. It only has war famine and ha, whatever it is. And then the westerners think like, oh my goodness, that place is terrible. I mean, if they're not, if they don't stop to actually double check their sources and actually go and do some research, they might just fall into the trap of thinking that. That place is horrible and the media does that very well. Like even back home, in Kenya, I remember when I see stuff about America, I would be very positive
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710in general. Yeah. You hear when we think about America, you might think about, um, fat people, sorry, guns and things like that. Like those were, that's kind of the negative conversation of America. But other than that, you, but for the most part, you're not seeing that. You're seeing like big houses, big cars. Things like that.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And so also like back home, we were also painted, that picture of the west is like heaven.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710And so people really want to leave thinking that their life will magically change
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right. Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710they come to the west. And granted, there are some people, there are some people who their life does indeed magically change depending on what circumstance they're coming from.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710yes,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Back home.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right?
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710does exist for some people. Right. But it's not the case for everyone. Right? I actually would say for the vast majority, like, yes, you might get a better life, but'cause you have more opportunity. But it is, but like for some of us, for example, like we grew up in relatively, I can stable homes, middle class, upper middle class families,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710had a good lives. Like I wasn't necessarily running away from anything.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I was just like, you know, but like you made to feel like you are running away from things
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710and then we just carry on that narrative.'cause I have seen people who like, are like, they couldn't wait to leave Kenya. Like, oh, I get this, I wish leave Canada. You come to the West and you're like, um,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710it's not all it's meant to be.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710what it was meant. Yeah. To be,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710But the media does an excellent job at making it seem that way.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm. It's like a psychological. The depth of it is psychological, rather. It's
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710it makes you question yourself. Because even sometimes I wonder, like when I look back and I think of like the way, you know how we have graduated from medicine, you've graduated from medicine engineering, and it was like, if just given the opportunity, we would, you know, and, but if you notice like. Even in terms of like, people market sometimes themselves, at some point we should, they should come a point where we shouldn't be saying the first black person to ever have done this. And the first black woman. And I'm like, well, if that woman was nurtured and given everything and every opportunity, she would have been, it's not like it shouldn't come off Like we're, we weren't incompetent in the first place, or, or didn't have the capacity to be.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710more of
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710need to, because, and, and I get that. Yeah, there's just such a, it's so psychological sometimes it may even question whether you are good enough and somehow you're missing something that the other person has. Because what does it mean? If you think about the impacts, every time a village is receiving experts that don't even look like them, means that the, the next thing is, and it kind of gives this idea that, okay. For you to be smarter and better, you need to go hang out with those experts so that you can come back. Anat like, Anat, like, I don't even know what I'm saying, but the point is, there's this image that if you're a kid, you're ingrained with this idea that there's an association of intelligence with this group of people, they're the ones that, they're the only ones that can do the job. And it just keeps, you know, it's a cyclic thing and it just keeps growing and growing and yeah, unfortunately it doesn't help us self-actualize and so, tough one. Very tough.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710You got, you hit the nail on the head with the, the psychological impact.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Because I think we just, we downplay the psychological impact, but literally that's the root of all our problems is like you actually come down to it. It's because that is what you truly believe this, you truly think that,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710this makes you feel like this and that's how you think like that. And it's. It is so true.'cause yeah, what you said about how does it, um, what picture does it paint for the kids who all the expats they're seeing that are being helped to them don't look like them? So they, it's so true. They're gonna associate that with the expats, the so-called Western expats, and they will not associate it with their own, people,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710People. Yeah,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710it's like. It is such, uh, interesting. It's so interesting.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710it. The psychology part is I think, the hardest to study,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710but I think it's the most important to study because it's really it's underlying all of these issues. And I sometimes I wonder were people that smart and that conniving that they knew. If they just do this and they do that, this is how it's going to, these are gonna be the effects downstream,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710and this is how it's gonna work. Because it's like when people talk about neo-colonial neocolonialism.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Part of it is just, is all just psychology.'cause yeah, we're not physically being colonized,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710but you're still being colonized, financially, mentally, and all that stuff. You're still doing what the western wants West wants you to do without really considering is it your best interest? Still act in a certain way and you do things like that and it's just psychology.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710It come, no, it comes down. It literally, it comes down to. Psychology. Was just thinking about because'cause it, and marketing is the thing, right? Because I've, I've noticed this about myself. When I, listen to the news, I literally take it my,, my reaction to it is I, I look at the title and it gives me this emotion and then I sometimes. If I'm close to somebody, I'll say, oh my goodness. Like, guess what? This, this has hap this. Guess what's ha going on in the us or wherever in the world. And then I don't stop to think, wait, wait, wait. Is this really true or is this probably a, a trap? And so it just goes to show how like marketing is so. I don't know how to say this. It just, it grabs you so quickly that before you
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Right.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710you, already spreading the, the same information, and it just, and it just keeps going. And it's like, oh my goodness. So then even I have to catch myself that I'm actually also spreading the same information.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Right. That's why it just comes down to your psychology.'cause you also don't realize that you, there's a part of you that believes it is a part of you that's spreading it and stuff like that. That's why like, it, it, that's a scary part
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710that's why I don't fully, I mean. I blame, like for example, when we go back to the expat topic, I don't fully blame some of the Westerners for how they think because that's what they're taught
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710that's what they're exposed to,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710and I see where they come from. Now the problem where they have a problem is, is when you refuse to change because that narrative fits. You or makes it, it makes your life easier,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710when the problem comes in. But I, I understand initially like that's how you, you think because literally that's what's exposed you. What, that's what you're told.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I, I mean that's me giving grace to people, but I'm the kind of person who I just tend to question. A lot of things. Like I, I just don't take things at face value.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I tend to question a lot of things, so fine, you're telling me this, but in my head I'm like, it's very believable. Okay. But I still, there's a part of me that's like still, um, you know, there's a question for doubt somewhere there,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710maybe just because I realized a lot of times things are not exactly as they seem. Um,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Exactly.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710but.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Interestingly enough though, if you, it's interesting'cause by the time you, maybe let's say you listen to this information that's widespread and you process it and you realize, Hmm, something doesn't add up. you communicate that to, let's say, whether it's your colleagues or your friends, you find that they have taken up. The, the main narrative. And then you seem like the person who is opposing and then you are like, I don't know, you are an outlier in that because they have all been, I don't know, they've all drunk the Kool-Aid, whatever. So that's why marketing is so, powerful. And it's, it's very interesting how. Like, just some of the words that I used. It's always fascinating, to see, in the US with Trump, when he says something how people just grab onto it and there's more information that's needed. Sometimes it's just saying what he's saying, but it, it's just. It's so viral, like it's actually scary, as you said. It's a very scary thing. But I also, it also comes down to this thing of like, I think it was a psychologist or I read about this somewhere where human brain would cannot tell the difference between what's real and what's a perception. So you can always create a perception, and it'll interpret that as. That's true. That's good. Whatever. Accept. and I think that's where marketing is. It's like, we create our own realities, even if they're not real and people just have to believe and then it just spreads. So
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710That's so dangerous because that's why I always say your perception is not necessarily the truth, it's just your perception. That's. Working for your reality, but that does not mean it's the truth.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Exactly. Exactly. So that's tough. And that's why it's probably also hard for people.'cause you talked about how leaders, let's say in the context of Africa, if it's African leaders, how they make, just follow in similar steps of saying, I'm just going to choose myself and know that because what you're saying is it requires true character. To be able to say, Nope, I'm standing my, my values, or This is what I believe in and this is right. And to be willing to be the old one out, to protect, whether it's your country or your, or just your value. So I think it also comes down to how people view themselves, but also your willingness to be singled out. Because that's the tough one there and, what's happening. Even even when I don't watch the news, like I don't watch the news that often, but of that, like just all of a sudden the Burkina Faso president just got on my newsfeed, even if I never Googled him. I think it was because took a stance or he has been taking stances that just like out of resistance to the way things are done. And so it's showcasing like, whoa. so it's like, oh, oh, oh. Even, even YouTube is like, you need to know this is the tea right now, girl. You need to know this. Like this is real. Um, so a. It's a, and and honestly to be fair, Zell, when you look at it, like lot of the masses feel, may feel like they can't do anything about it. We're just consumers of it.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710we don't have power, we don't have money, so we're just sort of left to be a part of a system, we can't. Individually change. So maybe that's why it feels just like, eh, this is the state of the world.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710That's.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710I don't need to be different. I don't need to read the mood down, but I'm just I'm just thinking our listeners right now, if they're listening to this and they're saying, okay, so what do we do about these double standards? What do we do? As we said, it's just perception and it's someone's idea of the way they see the world, but awareness is a good start. Um,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Yeah,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710yeah, awareness
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710mean.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710start.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710What you said is very true. Honestly, it's like we don't really have control over it. I think that's why some of us are not very obsessed with the news,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I also know how they present stuff on news is to also be very polarizing in a lot of cases. They're trying to capture way you reader's attention as possible. That's why I'm the kind of person who I just question almost everything. I don't just take things as at face value all the time, there's a part of me that will be like, take a step back and think about it. So they're saying this is this what's really happening? Or is some, is someone latch onto something and then that's a narrative they went with and then everyone else is just going that narrative without questioning it.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Right.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I think that's one of the ways of dealing with that is also just having, a sixth sense and just. I kind of just thinking, you know, double checking things and just being like taking a step back and analyzing before just jumping to conclusions.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710I think that's the only way you can do it, because Yeah, I agree. There's so many things that are out of our control and my head, I'm like, why am I going to go? Go crazy for get frustrated over things that are out of my control.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710only control what I can control in my sphere, and that's very important for me to learn how to control that. But part of the way we could help ourselves is by also just questioning things. So these double standards that exist,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710more people start to question why is it the case? Why are you called that? And someone else has called this. As, as these conversations happen, as people question things, that things actually start to change,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Hmm. Yeah, no, that's really true. The other thing is how do you feel about, I don't know if you, watch videos, on social media where people do bring up these questions, but they bring them up in such a way like. Conspiracy theorists, you know, like people who come up with, people who, you know, they'll get on social media and they'll say, guys, you know, I think this is what's happening here. I find that they, they bring in intellectual talk,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Mm-hmm.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710but also, it goes back to if I watch something. After, after listening to the person with so much passion and it's like, hmm. I ask myself, okay, now that if this person is right, what do I do about it?'Cause I'm, I also wonder if that, if I'm supposed to then, you know, I don't know, go to work with frustration or just like look over my shoulder being like. yeah. Hmm. then I always, I'm trying to live life, but I'm also, I'm trying to be intelligent about this, but I also don't wanna carry an energy where it's just like, ah, I see why these people do this now. I can't trust anybody. I don't know. But do you have any thoughts around that? Because sometimes I find videos that seem. That question, which is great. They question, but they leave me feeling I can't, like be at peace now because,
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Hmm. Here's the thing. I mean, whether I like to admit it or not, I'd probably be a conspiracy theorist myself.'cause again, that's what I'm saying. I tend to question things so someone is like, this is what happened. And in my head I'm like, hmm, there's something else that we're missing. Something else that could explain the missing piece of the puzzle. That's so me like that. That is so me, so I'm not gonna lie. I like hearing those. Conspiracy theorists and like hearing what they have to say, because sometimes I'm like, huh, that could make sense or something, because I totally do that on a lesser scale.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Okay.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710in a sense, I do the same thing, less a scale. I, I'm not gonna go digging into things to try to figure out the actual conspiracy behind it. To be honest, I had no time to do that, but I'm ahead. I'll be like, huh. When I listen to them, I'll be like, yeah, that makes sense. That was probably the missing piece in the puzzle. I just don't think it's a straightforward, as it looks like
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710it's.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah. Yeah. But that's, I guess, I guess guess I can look at that in a positive way where, like I said, marketing is a,, people, it's a make-believe and a conspiracy theorist is probably trying to put in the missing. that build a reality that, again, is it the reality or perception? So they just bring in their own take on it. So I can see that now that makes sense. Hmm. Interesting, interesting. Z Um, so.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710Uh, that was, yeah, that was a fun, one see, I like this topic'cause it just makes us think deeply and be like, Hmm,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710It does. And it's one of those, because it's such a big thing. I don't have this big takeaway, like this is the solution. It just.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710all right. I know right.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Yeah, it just makes you, it just makes you wanna say oh wow, this is the world we live in and there's so much that has gone on in this world, including historical events. And you just have to be like, wow. Okay. Yeah. what else? What else can you say from that? Um, just, yeah, like I said, self-awareness.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710It just means we need to work on, um, we, we should keep on working towards the solution. We might not have the solution, but we could keep working towards it,
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710I
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710trying to get better. That's the most important thing.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710Mm-hmm.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710double standards. But anyways, guys, we have come to the end of this episode. I hope you guys like it. Please let us know in the comment section. And Spotify, YouTube, all the, we're in all major podcast platforms. We're also on YouTube, as I just mentioned. Let us know what double standards are you guys aware of that exist particularly in, west versus non-Western places. We'll be curious to know what are the double standards,'cause I know there's a lot of them out there, so please let us know. Let us have a fun discussion. Um, and, you know. Learn more about it. As I said, if you wanna reach out to us. You can email us at the fli@gmail.com. You can comment on one of our videos on our, on our episodes, on Spotify, YouTube, apple, podcasts. And, you know, we'd love to hear from you guys. Share. Please share this with your friends, your family, who you think can benefit from this episode. We are open, we're growing, we're open to constructive criticism, but we're growing and we are really hoping to build a good, you know, rapport with our, you know, followers, our fellow outliers.
choolwe--she-_1_07-14-2025_214710That's right.
double-standards_1_07-14-2025_164710until next time, guys, have fun, live large, and don't be afraid to be an outlier.