Mature Mischief podcast
Greetings, Gremlyns!
Join us on the Mature Mischief podcast with your Host Jesse James and Co-Host Dee Dee.
Embark on a journey filled with mishaps, awkward moments, and adulting wins. Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod along with every episode!
Ready to embrace the chaos of adulting and find solace in shared experiences? Let the Mature Mischief Podcast guide you through the ups and downs of life.
Don't miss out on the genuine hilarity that comes with being a grown-up. We'll show you how to turn mundane moments into comedic gold!
Mature Mischief Podcast: Because growing up may be tough, but finding humor in it is always a joy! Tune in now!
Mature Mischief podcast
Nostalgia with a Side of Mischief
Hey Gremlyns
Ever wonder what could happen when a mischievous duo like Jesse James and Sister D get sidetracked by the irresistible allure of Texas Roadhouse rolls or the quirky antics of pets? This episode of the Mature Mischief Podcast promises an entertaining romp filled with spontaneous laughter and the unpredictable chaos of trying to recreate unique moments. From cheeky adult toy placements designed purely for shock value to the hilarity of past road trips gone awry, our candid conversations will keep you grinning from ear to ear. We share tales of household hilarities, like credit card machine failures leading to unexpected detours, and celebrate small victories like conquering math challenges with the enthusiasm of kids in a candy store.
Switching gears, we dive into the realm of the Super Bowl, where Kendrick Lamar's performance provides a rich tapestry of symbolic messages. We unravel the deeper meanings behind his artistic references, like "49 acres and a mule," and their historical implications. Amid the excitement, we sprinkle humor with our musings on creating personalized prayers and quirky art pieces, highlighting the joys of friendship and creativity. Expect a heartfelt tribute to friends with unique nicknames, evoking cherished memories that come with laughter and camaraderie. Tune in for a delightful mix of nostalgia, mischief, and insights that will leave you eagerly anticipating your next Buc-ee's detour.
Platforms
Breather break
What's up, Gremlins? Welcome back to another podcast. My name is Jesse James. I hope everyone is doing it and doing it well. You know the drill. This is the Mature Mischief Podcast. It's not that serious it's not that serious, I just wanted to do it. We're aware.
Speaker 2:We're aware.
Speaker 1:You started this, you started this shit. Now we're going to kip with it. I don't know where I was going with that Lame. You started this shit, you started it. I have nothing after that. So facts are facts. I know it, you know it. The whole world fucking knows it. I like saying my name twice.
Speaker 1:I am your host, jesse james and I am your co-host dd dd d, d, d d d d, sister d, sister d, sister d in the hen's house. You think she's a virgin? No, she's not. No, she's not. She's not no virgin mary. No, she's not. No, she's not. Yeah, yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what kind of story is that?
Speaker 1:I have no idea. Oh my God, that's just weird. It is so weird, that's so weird. It's a great intro, but you know what time it is, though right, deedee, it's Shazam again. But you know what time it is, though right, dd, it's, it's, it's hey.
Speaker 2:That was actually pretty cool, though I don't care, because it sounded like a lightsaber I really did.
Speaker 1:It really did. I'm actually really excited about that one. That will only happen once. You can't mock that shit again.
Speaker 2:I need you to recreate that no, why not?
Speaker 1:because I don't know how to.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to just like the voice I don't remember how I did it you're gonna have to listen to that episode I'm gonna.
Speaker 1:I don't even know what episode that was the one that you recorded on your laptop. That one, that special one that I did. Thank you, Sister D, for being the nun you are. And you win Name of the father, the son and sister. You're an idiot I am, but that was awesome though. But that was awesome though. I wonder how that sounds without the sound effect though ask our special guest, he's just like y'all sound really stupid thank you, thank you, oh, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the shenanigans podcast. How's everyone doing? Everyone's doing good today, yes, great, awesome, perfect, perfect listen.
Speaker 2:No, I'm dead inside and you're like good, perfect perfect, awesome, good, uh, get well soon thoughts. Thoughts and prayers.
Speaker 1:Thoughts and prayers, Lots of it. So if you're dying, I don't know what to tell you Because you know Horrible May.
Speaker 2:Sister.
Speaker 1:D come and visit you from the far beyond and take you to go see the Lord himself in prayer so he can say fuck off, say it, say it, you're stupid.
Speaker 2:Say it.
Speaker 1:Say it. Say it, you're stupid.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:Stupid. You said you wanted to do this.
Speaker 2:I said I wanted to do this. No, you said.
Speaker 1:You said I did say come and try it out, and you just stayed.
Speaker 2:You said sit down, let's have a talk. And you know what it was a wonderful talk and then you're like by the way, I recorded that whole conversation.
Speaker 1:I'm like thanks thanks thanks and you know what?
Speaker 2:I don't think I ever posted that first conversation ever no, because you said I won't post it if you don't want me to, but it was just to to get a feel of it. Um, to get a feel of what it was like to be on the mic because we were just having the conversation. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:That's true. I mean I did say that, but it's still. I think it's still there. I'm not too sure I have to find it.
Speaker 2:It might be it might be, I still have it though that was fun.
Speaker 1:It was one of those things because we were just like kind of like doing things and whatnot, and I was just visiting.
Speaker 2:Huh, I was just visiting, wasn't I?
Speaker 1:Um, I think you were visiting, I believe, because you said you were trying to move up here and whatnot, and once you were going back home you were going to stay over here.
Speaker 2:You were kind of just planning everything to see where everything was pretty much going and kind of getting taken care of and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:So yeah, because that was the first time we got to hang out in years. Yeah, I think it was right after. That was when james had passed away. That was the last time I saw you and we stayed in contact, uh, via text message, through messenger, and that's when you messaged me. You're like hey, guess what I think once you moved up here and whatnot, that's when you and I started to get a lot more closer, which we talked about before.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So shenanigans today, Didi, so far we're on a fucking roll. We're on a fucking roll. So that's all I got to say about that. But any who Rolls Back rolls.
Speaker 2:Like Texas Roadhouse rolls.
Speaker 1:Oh bitch, Too bad, they're already closed. I'm on fucking Roadhouse now. You bitch Roadhouse. That's why I said stop at Rolls so. I can be fat for just two seconds, dude, they go fucking hard. I haven't found. You know, they have good rolls. Kane's has good bread, golden.
Speaker 2:Chick has really good yeast rolls.
Speaker 1:They really do. Yeah, who else has good rolls? Cane's has good bread. Golden Chick has really good yeast rolls. They really do. Yeah, who else has good rolls? The boo thing, I know you do Bitch. You are the whole fucking bakery. The fuck you talking about. You're the whole fucking concha. You think those are stretch marks? No, those are. Those are stretch marks.
Speaker 2:no, those are those are made frosting on the frosty 1992.
Speaker 1:oh man, you know, now we're being fat, we are being fat.
Speaker 2:Going just with some hot chocolate, some of my hot chocolate, yeah, because pan dulce sounds good. Damn it.
Speaker 1:Damn. How dare we do this late at night and be fat?
Speaker 2:How dare you? You said rolls man.
Speaker 1:Rolls, we rolling, rolling, rolling Keep on rolling.
Speaker 2:I miss getting pan dulce from La Michoacana.
Speaker 1:You know, we have a Michoacana here.
Speaker 2:But is it the same?
Speaker 1:There's one that's Okay. So you know where we go to eat over there at Rafael's Cafe On the opposite side of the freeway there's that pan dulce place that's right there and it's really fucking delicious. We've hit that place up a few fucking times.
Speaker 2:Delicious. We've hit in that place up a few fucking times because I've tried two places here and I'm just like it's not doing it.
Speaker 1:No, it's not, we got to take you over there. You, you'll love that fucking place.
Speaker 2:I need to find that spot here in in san antonio, because I'll tell you what we can do this.
Speaker 1:Hold on, dear sister d, come to us today and bring us the bongusa of the lifetime. We ask you to bring the biggest guancha of all time and the manitos, the little piggies that I always ask for. Please, lord, please, sister Dee, come through. People are going to think you're a nun bitch. People need to start doing little prayer cards for you. Don't y'all dare, saint dd don't y'all dare.
Speaker 2:That's really weird, that's really weird bitch.
Speaker 1:You're gonna have your own condo, like lady gaga and everything.
Speaker 2:The french yeah we'll put you right there on the now now we'll put a whole prayer and everything for you?
Speaker 1:no, please don't, it'll be it'll be like sister d, the big back of women bring us some delicious food. We call upon the sister d to bring us the most luscious foods of all time and the sugar daddy of our dreams, and give us the talents we need to make this painting, for what we need and for what it's worth. Let our talents flow right through you and through you, sister D, amen. Amen.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:You're stupid. I don't see you coming up with anything else.
Speaker 2:Because why would I do that?
Speaker 1:Because it's fun.
Speaker 2:No, that's just weird.
Speaker 1:I mean think about it, even for me, like dear Jesse, king of sluts, king of whores, king of all, because it's fun. No, that's just weird. I mean think about it, for even for me, like dear jesse, king of sluts, king of fours, king of all, cocksucker of minis, cocksucker of ascensis, glory, hold to it. May be the master of fisting, the master of taking fist, show us the way of the cum slumps and the cum dumps that you can ever bring for us. Come slumps and come dumps that you can ever bring for us. I thank you, v. Show me the best corner to work for. Give me that BOGO deal I've always wanted and I greatly appreciate you. And the name's Craig, jesse, the Slut of Saints.
Speaker 2:Something is very wrong with you, Bitch. I'm on a roll.
Speaker 1:Something is incredibly wrong with you, bitch. I'm on a roll.
Speaker 2:It's something that's incredibly wrong with you is it though really?
Speaker 1:yes, I don't think so. I think I look normal you would.
Speaker 2:That's. It's normal for you to feel normal, but I make your, make your day fucking interesting yeah you do? Yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:Let's put it this way If there was never a time where you and I are not here anymore, we would miss each other. We would miss each other. Yeah, we would Be like you know what would enjoy this place? Dee, dee, dee, dee, sister Dee would be here enjoying this big, juicy hunk of steak. You thought I was?
Speaker 2:gonna say wood. No, you wanted.
Speaker 1:You wanted to say I did, because that's what you want to put in your mouth well, I mean, yes, you're not wrong, but we're not here making about this, about me, all these prayers have been for you. You just did. I said do something and they made something for myself. I just right here on the top of my head. That's fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:When you print those out and then put it on the candles.
Speaker 1:Oh bitch, I'd be so fucking down to do that. Don't fucking tempt me, because I know AI will get our shit and fucking make prayers.
Speaker 2:You just print it on vellum and then you just mod podge it to the glass I mean, I'm down for it.
Speaker 1:What is mushu doing? I think he's chasing something.
Speaker 2:He's being a dog.
Speaker 1:Let him be Okay, Get them roaches bitch.
Speaker 2:No, he's smelling secrets behind that door.
Speaker 1:Harry Potter is not behind there, sweetie, I am sorry.
Speaker 2:I didn't say the Chamber of Secrets.
Speaker 1:Oh, he was gaining some secrets. I'm glad I don't have my dildo there, man Just dangling no no, because it's on top of the shelf here. No, because ryan's like why do you have the dildo shake? I was like I had washed it and hair dried it and put it on the fridge for everybody to see it's a. It's a nice little suction cup though that was, that was awesome think about it.
Speaker 1:If you want to go to the fridge and you're just like, no, you shouldn't, at least you have a fridge that says go fuck yourself and you can.
Speaker 2:You just open that door, back and forth everything dude, you should put it back on there and next time people come over and they're like hey you have something to drink? Yeah sure, go help yourself I don't say anything.
Speaker 1:I really should um I would do it for John. I would do it because he's always so fucking dramatic, always so fucking dramatic About your toys everywhere. Oh my God, I can't believe you have your toy out.
Speaker 2:Ew. That was hilarious.
Speaker 1:Ew, ooh, you know what we haven't done and I'm down for I'm kind of afraid, but go ahead and say it. You already know what I'm gonna say. Think about it. There's three big bad bitches here right now okay we normally do this as much as possible we can, but we can't because we haven't done it in a while, because we're broke okay, and today is thursday I got nothing oh, bitch really I don't know, you threw me off.
Speaker 2:We just talked about putting your dildo in the fridge, so I'm like well, because it made me think about being food and everything okay, see, that helps, because I'm like well, where did you go from that to this?
Speaker 1:Well, because I'm a whore, I'm still at a loss. No, you're not, I am. We used to do it all the time. We talked about it on the podcast, we would make trips all the time. Oh, now a light bulb. Yeah, damn. Yes, she got excited too. Do you know how long it's been? It's been a while, bitch. It's been a while. I'm down to go after this podcast like hey you down, fuck, yes, you down, fuck, yes, fuckies.
Speaker 1:Should I call them the bucky gods? Or you think people will cancel this because you know the whole? I don't know. I have no idea, I don't know all right. Well, you answered yourself okay, dude, you know what? I'm actually getting a hell of a lot more better with math. That's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's good for you. It is, I love that for me. Good for you, good for me, I love that for you. Can I get a fucking treat for that you?
Speaker 2:can get one at Buc-ees.
Speaker 1:But I'm the one that has to drive us to fucking Cookies. Okay, I'll take a pudding Deal. Dude, we only go for the fucking pudding, Like I mean, I'm here for it.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was going to say I go for a few things.
Speaker 1:I do too.
Speaker 2:But yeah, y'all are the ones that turn me on to that pudding. That pudding's fucking good, yes it really is.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:I think the only one I haven't tried is the big on key lime pie.
Speaker 1:The key lime pie is not that great. No, no. The chocolate or the banana pudding.
Speaker 2:The chocolate is my shit, I just hope we don't go there.
Speaker 1:And then they're. Oh, credit card machines are down.
Speaker 2:The fuck you mean. Yeah, that sucked.
Speaker 1:Oh man, that pissed me off. We had to go to the convenience store. We were so salty about it. That was the stupidest convenience store ever.
Speaker 2:Oh man, that was dumb. Convenience store was dumb, but there goes. We had to have something. We had to go back after buying something, so we're like convenience store. It is.
Speaker 1:We had no choice.
Speaker 2:I guess I'll take it you know, what sucked even more is the fact that we had to deal with the traffic.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so you were taking all kinds of detours.
Speaker 1:And then we get there and then it's, uh like fucking closed. Yeah, and I'm like dude, we had everything against us that night. But you know what? We had a good story because we talked about on the podcast, which was a lot of fun. Oh, you know, speaking of us stories, um, so we I, before we talked, we talked about it because going back to school and everything, I I actually got to talk to a couple of classmates and everything they asked me. You know, hey, how do you like give advice? So fucking well, like, I'm just like dude, I don't know, to be quite honest, like I don't even take my own advice, but you know what I will say there are advices that I will take for myself, and I'd be like, yeah, I have to do this, otherwise it doesn't work out the way it's supposed to you know, what I mean, uh, like we just talked about on this last podcast here, was about, you know, sleep, anxiety, all of that stuff, and for me, advice giving advice I can give it like that's not a problem.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. It's it's kind of it's hard and it's easy at the same time, because I don't mind giving it, but if you're not gonna take it and run with it and do something with it, I just can't give you the same thing over and over. I can't kind of board it out of it.
Speaker 2:I'm just like I will. Just like I will, yeah. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it I do because what I think is funny, though, is how people come to me with the same situations and I'm like but we already went through this.
Speaker 1:We went through this like 20 times.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm not gonna change my tune just because you want to hear what you want to hear. Like I'm gonna tell you you know what?
Speaker 1:I will change my tune I won't I am, but hear me out. Hear me out, but not the other.
Speaker 1:Hear me out, but hear me out so go ahead the reason I will change my tune is because I get so tired of it that I finally get to tell I finally let them hear what they want to hear and then that's it. I'm done with them. I'm just like dude, I go. Do you want me to say this? Because I think that's what you're kind of alluding to? Well, no, I want your honest opinion. I was like I've given you my honest opinion to be able to try to give you what you need, um, but it doesn't seem like it's working. Bro, like I, I appreciate the toxicity. I really do. You make me feel brighter and smarter about myself half the time and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:So your stupidity, your stupidity keeps on blossoming and it's in full bloom, motherfucker true, but if you give them, what they want to hear you're only enabling them you're enabling their delulu yeah, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. It it feels so good it really does.
Speaker 2:I'm just like oh, you're so stupid after complaining about toxicity, you're like let me be toxic for just a second. You know what?
Speaker 1:I'm okay with that because sometimes some bitches need the fucking truth, that's what I.
Speaker 2:That's what I get, that's what I said like that's fine. You want to hear this for the 50th time? No problem that's cool.
Speaker 1:That's cool. Let me get some water real quick. I will give you what you need.
Speaker 2:Let me lubricate first I'm gonna give you what you need it might not be what you want, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1:You came to me. You wanna you know what?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna tell you, just saying you came to me, you came to me, you know what I'm gonna tell you. But if you Just saying you came to me, you came to me, you know what I'm going to tell you. But if you want, to hear it.
Speaker 1:You came to Sister D.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:You came to Confessions on Sundays.
Speaker 2:I really should start charging people.
Speaker 1:You should have a confessional. That'd be fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:That'd be funny. The Church of DeeDees.
Speaker 1:The Church of Dee. Oh, the church of dds. The church of d. Oh, that sounds bad. It really does. We'll put a glory hole, but I'll I'll fill in for you. You ready for the confessional? Yes?
Speaker 2:you're gonna have to take, you're gonna have to take it all for the team I should.
Speaker 1:I'll do it confessional at a time. Now make your deposit, oh my god, jesse.
Speaker 2:No, to be like, can I make a deposit? Uh, better be monetary, bro. I'm just saying because what's that gonna do for us?
Speaker 1:like, can you leave due deposits, one through here, one out there? We're watching, and if you don't do it, we might allow you to split it now I'd be like if, like later on, like after they finally fucking busted, like just be like. Oh, and, by the way, if you don't put money, I'm gonna tell him you, a guy sucked you off and you enjoyed it okay, mr black male, hey fuck yeah, hey, this ain't the church of this ain't the church of house for donations. Bitch, what blackmail you for donations.
Speaker 2:Would it be considered a donation at that point?
Speaker 1:Yes, why not? Look, I'm a nonprofit hoe and we got to make money somehow. Okay, like, look, and there's no taxes on churches.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying it's a win-win man. Oh my god, You're stupid and I love it.
Speaker 1:The name of the church cocksuckers of all, the holy grail of semen.
Speaker 2:I like how I got to put my hands together to get into character, to do it, because looking angelic totally helps.
Speaker 1:But you know what Sounding angelic with a microphone sounds even better. Amen, the devil's coming to get you.
Speaker 2:No, Jesse's coming to get you.
Speaker 1:I am the boogeyman. I'll be your Freddy Cougar. I'll haunt you in your fucking nightmares, bitch, not like this. I'll be your kendrick lamar. Dude, let's talk about that super bowl. Holy shit, I mean kendrick lamar fucking put the chef's kiss to that like no matter how much he tries. And okay, if you're drake friends out there, I am sorry, but not sorry on there. That was fucking. That's the king of petty like. He makes my pettiness just look like child's play. That motherfucker smiled and said hey, drake, yep yep, look straight into the camera I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm not into sports I've never have been but I was gonna watch the halftime. I'm not a big kendrick lamar fan, but I know that he's somebody who always has hidden messages and uses a lot of symbolism in his wording and in anything he does, so I was just like 49 acres and a mule.
Speaker 1:That was fucking awesome. The whole thing was the whole thing that, it was all symbolic attention if you didn't know what that term was 49 acres and a mule that was literally the whole thing, was the whole thing, that it was all symbolic. Attention. If you didn't know what that term was 49 acres and a mule that was literally the whole thing after abolishing slavery, and that was the court saying oh, give you know that was their promise.
Speaker 2:That was a promise.
Speaker 1:That was a stupid promise never, never yeah, they never made good on I was like wow, 49 acres and a mule shit I'm telling you it was a lot of the people.
Speaker 2:They were just like oh you know, this is to drake, and I'm like it was way more than just that, way more yeah but those were the people like it went over their heads and they were the ones was like oh, it sucked. And I'm like because you didn't get it you didn't get it.
Speaker 1:It's cool, but you know what it was one of. It wasn't. That whole song was not for him. It wasn't until they get to his part, because he talks about everyone else, like if you break down the lyrics and everything and what he has, it wasn't until the very end. He says what he says and then it's like everything else and not like us or whatnot. But that was for everybody to kind of listen to, to let them know like you're, not like us. You know what I mean. It's a very symbolic message. It very is, and I love it. I was here for it.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, I was at work and I was like, oh, shit, I was like oh I was trying to be so quiet as soon as the the it showed him in the middle of the american flag, I'm like wow, wow I had to go re-watch it again because it was great.
Speaker 1:Man, I was just like man had to go re-watch it again because it was great man, I was just like man, but it was so much fun I actually did enjoy it. It was actually a lot of great fun. And then mumu and mushu are both fighting. So, yeah, I think that's pretty much it. We normally would go into for like 30 minutes though, but it was a fun shenanigans podcast it really was. Yeah, I enjoyed it. All the prayers and you know what. Now I'm just gonna go re-listen to this and I want to make our little prayers for you. Omg, I am, I'm gonna sit down and just write little prayers and I'm gonna put them on the fucking candles. I'm gonna put your face. You know what I'm gonna get? The face for me. It's gonna be the one I have on the podcast for buzzsprout with the four different women.
Speaker 2:That's on there, do it.
Speaker 1:I am, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2:Do it the one where you're wearing your pearls.
Speaker 1:Yes, that whole 19. 1920s.
Speaker 2:I think it was.
Speaker 1:Something like that, that Western type feel oh bitch I loved when you and John did those.
Speaker 2:I was just like, when I get my own place, I'm going to print those and put them in frames.
Speaker 1:What do you do right for John?
Speaker 2:What do you mean?
Speaker 1:It'd be like this. It'd be like this One, last one, one, last one. Dear John, holy of shakes, master of shakiness, I pray these of Parkinson's, give the next man who dares to cross my path the shake of a lifetime that he made me, so he too can hold on to a wall and hold on to his shakes.
Speaker 2:Amen you're an ass.
Speaker 1:I'm okay with that. You're an ass master of shakes.
Speaker 2:I know dude, does he know who master shake is?
Speaker 1:no, I don't think so.
Speaker 2:Maybe he does that would have been cool if he did probably, but I mean, I could review mine you could have got him something of master shake or whatever.
Speaker 1:Jesse, master of epilepsy. Strobe light of the masters of strobes, break dancers of kings, shakes of shakes. I rose back like the undertaker in Strobe light of the masters of strobes, breakdancers of kings, shakers of chains. I rose back like the undertaker Shaking so hard you'll throw a right hook without even knowing. May you pass on your epilepsies to generations to come. May this be their carnal that they feel so they too know what it's like to know the floor and then you gotta end it with Whitey's sounds.
Speaker 2:This is my. I miss you. Is he breakdancing? You gotta make the noise that he makes. He's in my happy seizure. Oh my god, that's so bad. It's all about you, I know that's so bad.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine someone else who's having epilepsy? It's just like going fuck you. Oh man, this is my happy seizure.
Speaker 2:I've always loved that line. Fucking a. This is my happy seizure.
Speaker 1:I've always loved that line Fucking A. This is my happy seizure.
Speaker 2:No, here comes the seizure. Is that my wig?
Speaker 1:You hooligans, I can't do her voice. Hers is weird. Hers is fucking amazing, though it's just fun to see Mushu. What do you have? It's a pitcher. Grab that pitcher, grab it. Well, that's the end of our podcast. This is the mature mischief podcast.
Speaker 2:I am your host, jesse James and I am your co-host, dee Dee until we meet again.
Speaker 1:Love y'all, bye, ciao.
