Mature Mischief podcast
Greetings, Gremlyns!
Join us on the Mature Mischief podcast with your Host Jesse James and Co-Host Dee Dee.
Embark on a journey filled with mishaps, awkward moments, and adulting wins. Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod along with every episode!
Ready to embrace the chaos of adulting and find solace in shared experiences? Let the Mature Mischief Podcast guide you through the ups and downs of life.
Don't miss out on the genuine hilarity that comes with being a grown-up. We'll show you how to turn mundane moments into comedic gold!
Mature Mischief Podcast: Because growing up may be tough, but finding humor in it is always a joy! Tune in now!
Mature Mischief podcast
Mischief Unmasked & Unfiltered Shenanigans
Hey Gremlyns,
Join me Jesse James, alongside my co-host DeeDee, as we kick off the latest discussion with a colorful narrative about the hectic nature of schedules and how we navigate through them. From errands to interviews and a packed social life, we specifically explore the balancing act that defines adulthood while keeping you entertained. The laughs keep rolling as we dive into our creative sides and share our passion for cosplay, highlighting the art and effort that goes into the craft.
As we navigate through playful banter on everything from piercings to the comedic realities of adult responsibilities, we guarantee some belly laughs. And of course, we’re not afraid to venture into taboo topics and embrace the spicy side of life. Tune in to our delightful chaos, and remember, it’s okay to lean into your wild side! Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast, share with friends, and leave us a review!
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Breather break
what's up, gremlins? Welcome back to another podcast. My name is jesse james. I hope everyone is doing it and doing it well. You know the drill.
Speaker 2:This is the mature mischief podcast I was gonna say what was that goofy tanjiro?
Speaker 1:tanjiro.
Speaker 2:Tanjiro, he's not trying to be a special guest this time, no, no.
Speaker 1:Tanjiro.
Speaker 2:He's like I'm not getting paid, I didn't sign the NDA.
Speaker 1:Tanjiro, come here, buddy, you want to say anything to the fans? Tanjiro, tanjiro, tanjiro, tanjibye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Speaker 2:Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Whoa.
Speaker 2:Bye-bye. Okay, yes, thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Okay, I appreciate the feedback, thank you. Thank you, check out the spice. Yeah, well, I know it, you know it, the whole world fucking knows it. I like saying my name twice. I am your host, jesse James.
Speaker 2:And I am your co-host, Dee Dee.
Speaker 1:How high was I? I almost forgot my fucking name. I almost forgot my fucking name. Holy shit, there was a pause. I'm your host. Who am I? Can you run that by me again, weirdo?
Speaker 2:It's.
Speaker 1:Jesse, it's Hoto. Jesus, I'm all over the fucking place. Dude shit. That weed is some good shit. That weed will get you talking like a motherfucker. Like it.
Speaker 2:It will certainly get you talking.
Speaker 1:And not in a good way either, because, lord Jesus, I know, titi, you know what time it is right I do. Let me see if I can do this. But I'm going to try to bring this down just a little bit for the levels here, because that can be pretty loud. Okay, here we go. Shaman again. It's not as dramatic as it is when it's not very loud.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need it, like I don't have it. I need it booming. I don't.
Speaker 1:You don't have it.
Speaker 2:I don't think so.
Speaker 1:I could have sworn, yours is on.
Speaker 2:I don't hear it.
Speaker 1:Try it now.
Speaker 2:There it goes.
Speaker 1:There you are.
Speaker 2:I don't have it, you don't have it, I don't have it.
Speaker 1:You're not important, you're not important, You're not bitch. You know what, if we're in hell and this is what it sounds like I'm so for it. Can you imagine? No, like Besty, what up dude? Oh my God, can you imagine?
Speaker 2:Did you what?
Speaker 1:did you say Besty, you know?
Speaker 2:what, what Bitch sister Bestie.
Speaker 1:Oh you know what? What Bitch. I forgot to do that thing last podcast. I didn't hype you up last podcast. Oh fuck, no, we're good. No, bitch, no, we're good. Sister Dee, what it do, dee-dee. Wow, I'm slacking. Oh man, that was some good weed. Four puffs was my limit. I don't think I'm going to maybe do.
Speaker 2:What, what, what language was that?
Speaker 1:Pendejo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right With an accent.
Speaker 1:With an accent. I fucking love it. Jesus, fucking Christ. Oh my god, dude, that was awesome. It was awesome. You know, it's just like I'm all over the fucking place Because, man, I got so much I got to do. Look, I know it's only like Tuesday and this is for like Saturday, but, man, my day is it's only like Tuesday, but this is for Saturday.
Speaker 1:Well, technically it's Wednesday now, because it's like 105 in the morning recording. I gotta be up at eight o'clock in the morning. I gotta. I gotta go pick up my glasses afterwards or go get my glasses. I have an interview afterwards. For my interview I gotta go pick up fuck boy and then from fuck boy I gotta go pick up. We're gonna hang out for a bit, and then I got to go get um, uh, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:What's his name? Uh, pup tart. There we go. Pup tart, fabian. So I got to go get him that we need some good shit. I already forgetting so much, oh my.
Speaker 2:God.
Speaker 1:Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker 2:So you got a busy schedule.
Speaker 1:I do have a busy schedule, and you want to be famous.
Speaker 2:Good luck with that.
Speaker 1:No, because you're my secretary, until we can get a real secretary.
Speaker 2:The hell I am.
Speaker 1:I ain't.
Speaker 2:Absolutely not Now. You hire somebody Charlie with that.
Speaker 1:I ain't Because I'm'm gonna need my own damn secretary I'll put the application up. You do the interviewing, sure?
Speaker 2:I will do the interviewing because they got to know their shit be like.
Speaker 1:The interview would just go something like this let's see if I can do it here. Can you tell me the last time you were a hoe, because we already have one hoe, we don't need another. You can't talk about it too personal. Okay, so you want this job? Why, okay, no, no, no, I just want to make sure. No, thank you for coming in. No, we have your. Our people will get ahold of your people. Thank you. Next, you know what? This would just be the voice that we do For For interviews. We just put them in a separate room.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's not weird at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're talking like this, this. What brings you in today? Yeah, I'm here for a job interview. What kind of position are you looking for and how flexible can you be? Um, did you get my resume? That's not what I'm asking. What I'm asking you is how flexible can you be? Can you explain flexibility for me, because I'm flexible more ways than one? But what's the position and title? Doggy style missionary.
Speaker 2:We're good here. This interview is over, Wait who's the girl?
Speaker 1:Why do y'all sound like God? That's none of your business. We are Oz the great and powerful. We are here to collect your soul. Young one just know you are. I'm here to collect your soul. Young one Just know you are. I'm here to collect your seeds.
Speaker 2:I'll collect your soul.
Speaker 1:She'll collect it.
Speaker 2:He'll collect your seeds.
Speaker 1:I'll collect your nectar. That's horrible.
Speaker 2:It is You're like what do you guys need? Need we?
Speaker 1:god, we would have lawsuits up the ass. I don't know. I don't know if I liked how this interview just went. I'm gonna. You can hear from my lawyers.
Speaker 2:Okay, there's the door and then when they leave, see what you did. Now we're in trouble again. How many lawsuits is this dude?
Speaker 1:4,556 damn, we've got nothing left no, but my lawyer will fucking love me cause he's banking god damn it. I gotta save your ass again. Nothing left no, but my lawyer will fucking love me because he's banking God damn it. I got to save your ass again. I told you, stick with the script, stick with the script. I don't even know what the script is.
Speaker 2:There's a script. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:There's cue cards. I forgot to show them to you the other day.
Speaker 2:That's what I want to do. I want, I want to create cue cards. I would love for you to create cue cards, but I want you to text them and then transfer them to cue cards why, because you, because you don't like to text I hate you and we have to read. We can't fill it in, we can't fill shit in for you. We have to read what's on the cue card even if it makes no sense, they'd be like what are they okay?
Speaker 1:absolutely not. No, absolutely fucking not. But you know what? I want to create cue cards and with nothing on them at all whatsoever. They're just for decorations, and I just want to stack them and just move them on the line. What's on your cue cards? Oh, nothing the script the script. What does your say um to pull your pants down and see your monster cock?
Speaker 2:like yo. I think we got a different set. Mine says you a bitch, oh shit hey, was this the right one?
Speaker 1:was this for the only fans? I do apologize, we got the wrong ones, but I have strap-ons. We'll talk later. Hold on, thank you. So how was it being in this movie? See, we couldn't really interview real people because we used to be so fucked. Yeah, we would, we would be so fucked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we would.
Speaker 1:We would be so fucked.
Speaker 2:I'll be like record it and I'll monitor it later.
Speaker 1:People are like can you say that to them? I don't know. Do you suck dick on a good day, dude?
Speaker 2:they're just going to come in and sit down and it's going to be like awkward, purposefully awkwardly quiet for like the first two minutes and all you're going to do is just put your hands together and just be like hear me out. And before you hear me out, this interview is over, thank you. Thank you, like what are you doing? Don't, don't.
Speaker 1:But I got questions. No, you can go. Thank you, I appreciate you being on here.
Speaker 2:I apologize that you had to take your time. I'm apologizing that you had to take your time to come all the way over here just to hear me out.
Speaker 1:I just want to hear what he has to say you don't want to. I promise you, you don't have you ever no, stop, stop, stop. I'm so sorry, please just leave while you, I promise you you don't have you ever no, stop, stop, stop. I'm so sorry, please just leave.
Speaker 2:While you have the chance, you can hear what the doorbell is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm taking it out.
Speaker 1:It's a valid question. Do you like being pegged?
Speaker 2:begged. Can you? Can you imagine the people who know them they're like, so how the interview go? I don't even know how to answer that what's the worst podcast you've been on?
Speaker 1:the mature that that host hands down. Hands down is a whore. He is, he is, he is something else. The co-host is beautiful. She's sweet, she's lovely. She warned me ahead of time the host tried to save me she warned me you don't know what you're getting yourself into.
Speaker 1:Like, don't do it. Like you don't want to do this, I promise you. But you know what you're getting yourself into. Don't do it. You don't want to do this, I promise you. But you know what. You have to be open-minded coming onto this podcast. That's one of the main things. You have to be super, super open-minded on this podcast, because if you're closed-minded on anything or any aspect of this podcast, you're going to have a bad time. It's going to suck to be you. Yeah, just saying yeah. Because, look, I get it that movie stars have a reputation and they have to be able to keep an image right. That's just the main thing. Me, I'm just like dude. Like, have you ever had your butthole tickled? I mean, that's what I want to know. Like, has anybody tickled? Just went koochie, koochie, you know. Like, how's your sex drive? Like is it? Is it? Like? Damn, you know, is that? Is that why y'all stay along? For like you've been divorced four times? But why, like, what was what happened? You've?
Speaker 2:been divorced four times. Obviously, obviously, you're the problem. What's up with that?
Speaker 1:So we know it's you and why we know it's you but why Can you imagine Holy?
Speaker 2:shit You'll be hearing from my lawyers. For what Can't say defamation, because we already know a lot of lawyers, yeah.
Speaker 1:Mine don't like me at all because I don't know what to shut up he's got a love hate relationship with his lawyer he hates getting him out of shit, but he loves that he's getting paid so well you know what? We probably should be careful, because people are going to think we have fucking lawyers. I'm going to want to try to sue. We're just kidding, we broke. I'm sorry You'll get money in pesos and not the pesos, pesos, pesos.
Speaker 2:Strictly from Jess.
Speaker 1:One million kisses. God damn it I mean, I'm at the fucking little people counter your lips is gonna be raw, gross, my fucking pot chopstick. How many more do we have? You only had a thousand, son of a bitch. Can we take a break? Can I get water? Nope, can you imagine not getting water? A million kisses. How long you think that would take, I don't even fucking know. I'll take a math and even I don't even want to fucking know that math equation.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you I don't like math. I don't like to sit there and spend brain power trying to calculate crap. No, I can't. Oh, can't do it, captain. Don't want to do it now. When I have to, I will. It turns out like I'm actually okay with it.
Speaker 1:I'm good at it I'm actually quite good do I want to no no, do I need to no never, I don't want to need to when I was formulating um the handmade cosmetics uh-huh it's a must for measurements oh yeah, you gotta get it down to a must, and I'm just like otherwise it'll just explode in your face and you'll have like red coloring all over you, did you kill us.
Speaker 2:If it was the red, I'd be so upset.
Speaker 1:I'd be so upset I was hoping to blue. No I could be like did you kill a smurf?
Speaker 2:no, because it's. It's a mineral, it's um. The red is derived from a bug that's native to mexico yeah and it's extremely expensive. Damn, because they're tiny little bugs, and more expensive. More so now, because you know having to get.
Speaker 1:That's right, that's right, yeah it is so.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying, like dude, if it was the red that blew up in my face I'll be, so upset I'd be.
Speaker 1:I'm just like not the most expensive one salvage, salvage, putting your own fucking pores in the damn thing. I'd be so mad dude, can you imagine holy shit I'd be like why not the titanium dioxide that's so much cheaper? God damn trying to fucking melt you off your own face and shit. Why does it explode? My face it's rotting. It's all powers. I'm like diddy. What'd you do?
Speaker 2:I don't know I don't know, I miscalculated. What did you do? Math, math. That's what I did. That's that's why I'm no, I'm no human calculator, but as I said, like I'm good at it because there are times when I actually have to be I told my classmates because he has a fucking third arm in his arsenal.
Speaker 1:Where did I send him? It was fucking hilarious. I sent it to him on Grindr, because he's on Grindr, because I thought it was fucking hilarious. Let me bring it up here, because I was just like we're doing the whole thing of measurements and everything and whatnot in class and I'm just like, well, whatever, I'm trying to figure it out, oh I go, he goes. I put a. I um liked this thing or whatever, whatnot. He goes, go away, because I'm trying to measure in dick meters. Can you help? I'm asking for a friend? Laugh my fucking ass off he's on Grindr.
Speaker 1:Right now, I'm gonna be like go to bed, go to bed. Ho, see what he says go to bed, go to sleep, go to sleep. I feel like parents when they do that. It's just like I'm trying to get the kids to say, please go to bed, I just want you to sleep right now. If you have kids, let me know. If you do do that, because kudos to you for being a fucking parent, because kids are monsters, dude they're really this generation of kids.
Speaker 2:They're all of our, all of our nuggets actually went to bed fairly well, yeah no, it was not too bad, but the key for us was music. He puts shh. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Go to bed faggot. I wonder how many people are going to get mad for me saying that word. You can't say the word fag or faggot. How many?
Speaker 1:times has Jess said that in how many episodes on this podcast fag yeah oh, that was fucking hilarious because I was actually uh, when I had the little break and I was hanging out with my classmate and it was funny because we got another person and everything, and one of the guy goes oh hey, there's an app that can help you out with your math homework. And goes no, I don't want to do that. Don't listen to that faggot. Can you tell me what that meant? And he goes oh my god, that's fucking wild dude, you just fucking said it. Holy shit, I was like faggot, like is that a bad thing? He goes no, it's just, I'd never heard anybody just fucking roll off the tongue with it. It's like you, like you said it and you're just like don't listen to him. I was like what did I say?
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna say it I mean, you should have totally been like oh well, only facts can say it.
Speaker 1:So well, it was like I was alluding to it, though, but I really wanted him to say it. I'm like so what did I say? Tell me, because you know what you said. I was like I can't say it because I'm not, I'm not in that, in that I don't play for that, I just don't do that. He was just stumbling over, it was fucking hilarious, and I'm like okay, well, I mean you have my permission say it. I mean I'm not gonna get up and punch you. He might, it just may feel like a toothpick hit you, but that's pretty much it. Um, he starts fucking laughing because that's wild, and it's like dude, I'm just fucking with you. I was like no, but what's the name of the app? Don't listen to him. Bitch need help. Whatever comes my way, I'll get it so what was the app's name?
Speaker 1:uh, it was uh, something with G, I don't remember Garth or Grooth Garth, girth, I have no idea. That would be funny. Can you imagine it's called Girth? It's whatever. This one is right there.
Speaker 2:Geico.
Speaker 1:No, not Geico. Right next to Geico I was like what oh Goth? Goth.
Speaker 2:Funny. Yeah, it is funny, goth, goth, g-a-u-t-h.
Speaker 1:Germany grinder healing pal halo.
Speaker 2:Oh, I got porn um, now that you said halo um the person that commissioned the mars attacks, painting for painting for me. They have a whole list.
Speaker 1:Of what they want you to do for them. Holy shit, yep Damn. Halo is one of them, really, is it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, nice One of them is also the Fifth Element, one of my favorite movies, so I'm super excited about that one. Super excited about that one oh, super excited about that one now because I think they wanted a spongebob one, I don't remember what else, but it was a whole collection of movies, shows, cartoon characters, game characters. I'm just like done and done, dude done, dude, fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's actually awesome when people like your work and then they want to continue to commission you like that's well see.
Speaker 2:What happened was they have a theater room in their house and they were going to put movie posters everywhere, but the person who commissioned me their significant other's favorite movie. One of their favorites is mars attacks. So they were like I want to put that one on a canvas, the rest can be posters around the theater room. So that's what she did. But when her partner got, it is like now I'm putting this in my office like screw the screw the movie theater or the theater room.
Speaker 2:You know, whatever she's like, I wanted in my office so that it's just there, like you know, all the time that's fucking.
Speaker 1:And they were chilling in the office the other day and you hand drew that right all the way through, or?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, I had to. I did the digital art first, and then I had to print it and then transfer it onto the canvas by hand, because my projectors are in corpus oh shit both of them. So I had to do it the hard way the Ooh yeah From my tablet to the printer, to the canvas. Damn Then start, yeah, so I'm like it was ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Why don't you just get?
Speaker 2:a small projector what?
Speaker 1:A small projector.
Speaker 2:I mean I could, but I have a small one and a big one. How? Come you didn't grab it over there. Oh no, not that projector, I mean like an actual projector, where the image goes underneath and it projects it onto a wall yeah Not a, not a movie projector, no, an actual, like the ones back in the day at school that used the transparency sheets. Oh shit, I got one of those. Damn and it folds into a suitcase.
Speaker 1:Tell me your age. Without telling me your age, bitch, god damn.
Speaker 2:We already established my age.
Speaker 1:We age bitch, god damn, we already established my age.
Speaker 2:We don't need to go there anyway. It's ancient. So anyways, they change your mind. I can't even say anything.
Speaker 1:My eyes are already going out. Yeah, your hearing is next, whatever, so they commissioned you, so they commissioned me.
Speaker 2:Um, instead of having the posters, they were just going to do all paintings, all canvases instead okay, cool just like absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I'll take care of you for a bit.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Yep.
Speaker 1:Like how often are they going to like want them?
Speaker 2:Like I don't know, she, like I said, her partner was just like going. I was like, oh, I wanted this and I wanted this. And when she's put them in order, priority, she goes do the first one and start giving me like ideas, first, let's, let's just take it one at a time.
Speaker 1:That's fine. Yeah, I mean, I didn't know I need them all. Uh, yeah, yo 500 000, that's, that's a new car that's.
Speaker 2:I was kind of like, okay, cool. So I already did get the first image where they circled the characters that they want, and then they're just like, okay, you have freedom. You put, put, whatever you want, however, but I just I want these characters for sure on the canvas.
Speaker 1:I'm like I cool nice, uh, what size, same size that I'm not sure yet.
Speaker 2:No, that.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure yet. No, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure We'll find out. I would assume it'd be the same size, because that way everything's, you know.
Speaker 1:Consistent. Yeah, I don't like consistency. I like big ones, small ones, so I can just like mural.
Speaker 2:I guess almost in the background, so it'd actually be pretty cool.
Speaker 1:It's a little weird because somehow you, somehow you, you gotta like build on it and try to like get it going. That's a lot of thumbtacks you only need one.
Speaker 1:You can do it with two, that's it yeah, but yeah it's a lot in the wall with multiple canvases but it is because you got a tetris that shit get that one is off by one or two. You're just like fuck, yeah, fuck yeah, I was like I need something this small, this small I have a canvas that small, sure, yeah I need something this small, how small, this small like this small, this small you need this small I should have one in my stuff.
Speaker 1:That's probably about this big I had some and and, but it's not mine, I mean I had to toss on james painted a sugar skull on it.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's cute.
Speaker 1:I like those yeah, I like when you, when the, when canvases are actually being used and how they actually get the whole like art on it and everything, and then they're like, oh, five hundred dollars, oh, but you can buy the printable ones for like 10 bucks and I'm just like, okay, I would like to buy art art, an authentic piece, because damn, if I was rich yeah I would buy art, holy shit, I would buy authentic pieces, because it's like this is dope this is dope.
Speaker 2:It's just. It depends on the artist. I have a hard time letting go of my original pieces. I really do. They have my everything in it and I'm like this is a piece of me. I don't want to give it away. He's like oh but I'll pay you pretty, but it's mine, it's me, it's me.
Speaker 1:I'd be like Didi she's giving you money.
Speaker 2:Like, you need money.
Speaker 1:I know, but Girl, you need bras and panties.
Speaker 2:Give it to her.
Speaker 1:I'd be like I'll sell you prints. I'd be like no, I'd be like hold on, Give me how much she didn't give me a price um five thousand, okay, five thousand five.
Speaker 2:She didn't give you price two million two million can you imagine to be like, cool, like dude I'm sorry, what can you?
Speaker 1:Can you imagine Two million, it's not about the money. Five, it's not about the money, the sentiment though, no, you said two million Done, Done bro.
Speaker 2:Fuck that, You're like I thought you can't let him go. I will do my best to make another Done Two million dollars. You're like, I thought you can't let him go.
Speaker 1:I will do my best to make another done $2 million. It's about the sentiment on there.
Speaker 2:$5 million, I would milk it?
Speaker 1:Of course you would. It's mi corazón. $30 million, is that what you?
Speaker 2:think my heart is worth yeah.
Speaker 1:He died.
Speaker 2:No, not those.
Speaker 1:I meant my own, they don't even have to be those, they could just be whatever, like the one you drew. Just put like some bullshit sentiment on there. Like what was it? There were superior earrings that I saw on fucking tiktok that they were jade, and she just has them there for display and they're like oh, those earrings are not display, I just have them there to, uh, you know feng shui, they're just and they don't. She was making up this whole thing. She goes, yeah, she goes. Oh well, how much are they? Oh, they're not for sale, they're for my ancestors, pass by, pass on. I'll give you, uh, I'll give you 5 000 for them. No, I can't, they're very sentiment. I'll do 25 000. No, 50 000, sorry, ancestors. And then she opens up a door and she puts another thing out there.
Speaker 1:I was like it's slick, fucking awesome. I love it. I love it. It was something down the line. It's it's verbatim or whatever, though, but I like that video because it was just so fucking hilarious. I'm just like dude, that's hilarious. You fucking swingled that so fucking hard. I fucking. It's one of a kind. It's like diamond cut or I don't know it was, and it was, it was jade. It was fucking hilarious. I'm like if you fall for that, you deserve to be, you deserve to be played you deserve to hand over that money, man, oh shit the fuck.
Speaker 1:I don't have that on my fucking whatever at this point I'm not even surprised. I don't want to get up in the morning. Well oh well, gotta be an adult.
Speaker 2:I was going to say adulting sucks, but it needs to be done.
Speaker 1:Moral of the story Fuck you adulting.
Speaker 2:Agree.
Speaker 1:You know, it's always crazy, because every time I think about being an adult and how fun it is, I'm always reminded how much debt I'm in. Ouch, exactly.
Speaker 2:Interesting Because it's like like and I'm the total opposite. I don't have any debt well, I mean, I'm not like but my thing is like but I don't have anything where I can afford to have fun and enjoy my life, considering I don't even have debt isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1:no, I agree, it's like oh cool, you don't have debt.
Speaker 2:Like cool, you get to have fun like um no no be like why not? You don't have debt because I don't have money in the first place.
Speaker 1:If I want to go to a pool park, I just fill up the tub in the background go, I just blow up my floaty and chill in the tub I'm just there, hey, dd, what are you? I'm in my pool. Oh fuck, you mean your bathtub. You're short enough where you could actually go swimming in your bathtub. Five foot, no Like when the help is in the. That would be funny.
Speaker 2:You'd be like what are you doing? I'm in my pool. Did you lock the door? Like no, I said it was in my pool. Did you lock the door?
Speaker 1:Did you like? No, I said it's in my pool. Did you lock?
Speaker 2:the door? Did you lock the door?
Speaker 1:that's the million dollar question yes, I locked the door like you want to come out and not your pasties. You just be like, um, I'll let you finish swimming, I'll let you finish swimming you go, little mermaid you go or slow that one's even better and signing contracts. Poor, unfortunate soul, so sad, so true. Rots and jets. And now I got them boys. The boss is on a roll, that's hilarious oh I love it, dude.
Speaker 1:she's one of my favorite fucking villains, and every time they recreate her or rebrand her as I get the villainous of why she did what she did, because in the book they shows like how she became the great, how she became this villain, the bad guy, because trident was actually a motherfucking dick, like really to her. I'm just like, yeah, I, I'm sorry, I would get Ariel to fucking sign a contract too.
Speaker 2:you fucking douche, if you were mean to me, I would take one of your kids too, it's like bitch, we're doing this American style that was one costume that I wish I would have been able to do. James was just like over here, brainstorming ways even to give me a floating flotsam and jetsam. That would hang from invisible threads from my arms, so if I moved it looked like they were moving.
Speaker 1:That's actually pretty fucking cool, I'm just like genius bro, but obviously it never happened, nope, you know what we can probably do. It my computer science, your artwork that would be awesome bitch, I will take engineering class just so fucking know how to fucking just do it like no, I can do it, I just don't have.
Speaker 2:I would take engineering.
Speaker 1:I would take a sewing class, I would take arts and crafts. I would take engineering. I would take a sewing class, I would take arts and crafts, I would take theater. I would Just to be able to know how to fucking like it's not too bad. It's not even my degree and I'm just fucking. It's not too bad. I know it's not too bad Once you can do.
Speaker 2:I Dude, when we did Thanos' gauntlet, that was so much fun. So much fun Because we printed out the souls on vellum, which is a very see-through kind of paper, and then we literally cast each stone individual in colored resin.
Speaker 2:And we cured them. So when they were done we were able to glue the vellum to the back of the stones and then we put them in the little placements. But we left holes cut into the foam of the gauntlet so we put lights in there. So inside, because you can't see James's hand, the gauntlet was so huge. But inside all he had to do was hit the switch and all of the stones would light up. And if you looked at the stone, if you look at the stones, you can see like all the souls floating in there.
Speaker 1:Oh nice, in every color.
Speaker 2:Yup, that's actually pretty badass and it was awesome to be able to just do little pieces by piece and then put it all together, we did that. That's cool we did that like it was so awesome. So me and those cosplayers, y'all fucking dude, they're fucking wild man wild.
Speaker 2:It was a lot of fun wild um I remember blanca also needed a constant um upgrades upkeep, upkeep yes, every time he was just like oh, you know, I'm gonna take it and it's like okay, go get him, bust him out, because we need to inspect what needs to be fixed what needs to be repaired. Oh, look, this torn here. Let's fix that. You know, whatever it was always his nails, it was always his the nails on his hands and the nails on his, the claws on his hands and the toenails on the feet oh, they were always just popping off, like all the time, so we're constantly giving him manicures and pedicures every time it was hilarious.
Speaker 1:I loved it.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious it's funny like this big old beast of a thing is sitting there and just painting the toenails. It's a good color. Make it look all gross and yellow pretty much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was oh man, that's awesome. You know, I I wish I can get more into like, cosplaying, sewing I. I wish it got more home ec style when I was in school because I think that would have been a lot of beneficial. I can sew. I can sew by hand, that's not an issue like. I can make the little stitching. I can sew up a patch, right, I can do all of that. I just don't know how to use a sewing machine. I mean I can because I've done pillows. That's the closest thing I've ever done to making something, and the pillows I did a fucking fantastic job on. I was like, oh, I can make my own fucking pillows, holy shit. So I still have, I still have the oh and that, and joanne's fabric store is permanent closing.
Speaker 1:I'm like sucks, bro dude, I don't even know where else to get loved, I loved so I just wish I had more money so I can go buy, I mean, stuff that I don't even fucking need. I'm trying to even I'm trying to even learn how to make my own fucking jock straps like because I want them to fit me. I'm sorry, I'm tired of being spending. I got all the materials to create the jock strap. I have the blueprints, I have everything. I got it all. It's just kind of cutting it and making and trying to Making the pattern.
Speaker 1:Making the pattern. Yeah, it's just getting the pattern right Because I have all the patterns and I got to make sure it stretches with either Two way or four way. Four way or you know, I'm looking at different spandex I'm looking at.
Speaker 2:That was fun, it was always fun shopping for materials and supplies. I love this dude. I don't remember what he would call it. He would call it something specific, like when we would go just shopping to go look at things, not where we weren't going to buy a damn thing yet, but we were going so that we can like okay, where do we get this? How much? How much are we gonna need? Like, yeah, it was so much fun because we're like oh, look at this, oh, look at that one.
Speaker 1:Like dude, yeah, it's a lot of fun going. I didn't realize how much fun it is to go shopping for fabric and when you're looking for certain particular type of fabrics and, um, there are like fabric stores that have like the mom and pop fabric stores, but when you go to joann's they have yeah, a fuck ton and I I didn't.
Speaker 2:I didn't really like yaya han, but I loved her fabrics I will say that. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of yaya, but the the fabric line that she had in joanne's, I'm just like can I get this one?
Speaker 1:oh, my god, can I get this one, like what are?
Speaker 2:you gonna use it for? I don't know I will furnish a chair like I, just I want this one. And he's like how much? I'm like yeah, yeah. And he's like as soon as I said it's yeah, yeah, honey's like crap. I'm sorry it's expensive, but there's nobody else that was doing those kinds of things. I mean, granted, hers was specifically for cosplay to help cosplayers or whatever, be a lot more accurate. That's why I liked her stuff because, but my thing was it, I was looking at her fabrics, but not for the costumes I was looking at like dude.
Speaker 2:This would look so awesome on a chair or on a throne or on as a purse. You know what I mean. Like my thing was just accessories, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I wish I got to know more fabric and more stuff. I think if I go to to del mar and see if they have any home ec economical, like how to sew, put stuff then I can learn how to be able to do that, because I want to learn. I can self-teach and I could probably watch on youtube, but I'm more of a hands-on kind of person. If you show me how to do it right and get it there, okay, make sure this and learn the color wheel a lot more better. Then I would probably have a more fucking understanding of making my own clothes fit me, because, yes, I am a big boy don't get me wrong, though but I like shirts to fit me a little bit longer so I know I'm comfortable in what I'm wearing right and what I like. Making button-up shirts fit me around the neck. I feel like my body is just proportion weird, and especially when you're a big boy, same it's just like god damn, you just don't you know what I mean I hate shopping for clothes.
Speaker 2:I hate shopping for clothes, which is very funny, because I'm a Libra.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:Libras are very fashion forward and technically, Leos too Technically, if I was more comfortable and I felt a little bit more proportionate. I probably hella would be. Yeah, I really because I can little bit more proportionate I probably hella would be. I really because I'm, I can see things and be like dude. You know, I'm not so bomb, I'm not used to seeing you wearing t-shirts.
Speaker 1:I used to see you with like low cuts every single v cuts, yeah, v cuts I used to see. I was like I always loved you wearing the v cuts because I saw like a little watch at two hoos. I was like oh dude yeah I couldn't even fucking remember your name. You were the tattoo. You were the tattoo titty girl for a while, just like Jesus fucking Christ. Now people are going to be like the tattoo titty girl.
Speaker 2:No, no, no Like no, it's covered up with shirts, it's covered up so shirts.
Speaker 1:I can only say that.
Speaker 2:Sister, d's bad enough, let's not throw in tattoo, titty girl, please. Just saying dear lord, can you imagine?
Speaker 1:that's my girlfriend. Why would you say that? I'm like, what was her fucking name? I don't know what, something with the d, was it with an a? I don't know. But like you have no fucking filter, oh no, I don't. I mean, okay, how about this? What was the bitch's name? Because I don't fucking. She's actually pretty fucking cool. Who's who the fuck is she? Bring her back. Where is she bring her here every time? You can't, you can't be saints. Um, you know I'm gay, right? I? I don't give a fuck, and you know it's so funny because you're being people. Being gay can pretty much say a lot of shit and get away with it. I think that's one of the best fucking things ever. You know it's so funny because people being gay can pretty much say a lot of shit and get away with it. I think that's one of the best fucking things ever. You know we can call you a cunt and just be like no, it's very cunty, I love it. We even brought cunt.
Speaker 2:And nobody questions it yeah.
Speaker 1:We brought cunt and we changed it to cunty, because now you're serving cunty and then now you're like oh, beat, and there's so many fucking different terms and I did like cunty. Cunty was actually pretty cool. I'm just like I love it. So fucking cunty. You just yes, that I actually did like there were some terms.
Speaker 1:I'm just like I don't know, can't test it, no, like I mean it's fucking pretty cool because they're just like ah and like Jess. I remember I think it was Polo who was just like. You can't be saying things about Didi, that's her fucking name. I've been trying to get her fucking name for a while. Thank you, didi. Can you go get me Didi please? But I'm trying to. I don't give a fuck what you have to say. Go get me Didi.
Speaker 2:It was just so fucking bad. They're like this dude, like if james here's james been like oh me, didi.
Speaker 1:yeah, I don't think it. If it was, it was like oh yeah, didi's over there. What did you call her tattoo Tattoo, titty Girl, what? She had tattoos right here on her chest. It was very prominent. It was just like bam, it's just there. It's just there, tattoos, titties. What do you want me to say to that? I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this.
Speaker 2:You know what's funny? I don't remember. Oh, I was doing like those questions that you ask your significant other and you. Just.
Speaker 2:They answer to the best of their abilities, depending on how well they know you or whatever yeah I do not remember what oh, it was a compliment or something like that and he had said or what's your favorite, was your favorite thing about me, but physically, or something like that. And and he had said or what's your favorite, what's your favorite thing about me? But physically, or something like that. And I think he had said my hair, my eyes and my hair, or whatever, right, because it was so long. And blah, blah, blah. He says or oh no, he's like you're piercing, because, oh my God, everybody compliments you on your piercing. I'm just like ew what's with the tone, what don't?
Speaker 2:what I'm just like jealous are we jealous like what I'd never heard him say.
Speaker 1:I'm just like where is this coming from, like dang tell me how you really feel. I know it's just like and you know what?
Speaker 2:it's funny because to this day people still do. I'm like this shit is so old bro this shit is so oh yeah, there was a lady at work. She was picking up an order and I was releasing it to her and she was like hi, she goes, I have a question. She goes did that hurt? And I was like what? She's like I've been wanting to get that exact piercing. She said did it hurt? And I'm like it's a piercing dude.
Speaker 1:It lie. I really wanted to do my tongue piercing for like the longest time. I've always wanted a tongue piercing. I don't know why I just did I thought they were the coolest thing ever. Will I still do it now I'm? I don't know, it's not too bad. No, it's not. I feel old, though I feel like it's.
Speaker 1:I mean, I still do it, but I got scar tissue from mine oh yeah oh yeah, I want to do it, but you know what I think if I do do it, I want to be on vacation for however long period it takes for it to heal it doesn't take long.
Speaker 2:No, because it's an oral piercing I think the fastest uh healing piercing is genital piercings, and then the second is oral is it?
Speaker 1:but I still want to take it off because if I'm on the calls doing like it depends, it depends yeah.
Speaker 2:At first. Yes, it's going to swell, like I got mine, and in the evening, by the following day, it was fine. Wow, the swelling. Yeah, that's unlike. We were just eating ice chips all night.
Speaker 1:Nice, me and my sister.
Speaker 2:So I all night, me and my sister, so I was like okay, cool matter of fact, you know who did my tongue piercing? Javier, really, yeah nice yeah, because he was a tattooist and I'm a tattoo artist and a piercer I'm asking there any good piercers here? I know that he has a friend that that is a piercer somewhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, cool I'll ask him because I really want to do that in my nipples. I want to get those two pierced. I just I've always a tongue piercing, but I don't know. I'm just like Screw it, do it, I am.
Speaker 2:YOLO, yolo.
Speaker 1:Go back to my mom.
Speaker 2:Ha, hey, mom, ha, oh God, and if you don't like it, just take it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, true. That's the cool thing about piercings Um no, I think I would keep it because I'm just like dude, I've already I spent money on this.
Speaker 2:Like it's staying like I would have to create it unless you're like me and your body likes to reject things. It's like I paid for it, I got it, and body's like no.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't mind. I would love to have the piercing. I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Cause this got rejected and my industrial got rejected. My tragus got rich.
Speaker 1:I'm just like my body's just not wanting to do something.
Speaker 2:But you know what, when I had told you, james was the one that pierced my tragus because we were going to try to see if it would help with my migraines, because we heard that it could or it would. Um, I didn't even last two days. The second day I was like take it out and he was like why?
Speaker 2:and I said because it has not stopped this intense level of pain. And you know my tolerance is high, dude, like something's up, take it out. And he was just like okay, like no problem. And I told him I was like okay, well, can I get this? Or can I get like I'm? I like when there's like all of these little sparklies all over the ear?
Speaker 2:so I'm like can I get this, can I get? And he says look. He says I will give you whatever you want. But he says your ears are naturally small. He goes their, their structure is small yeah he goes. So it's very hard for me to pierce and it not reject. I can pierce whatever you want, but more than likely your ears are going to reject it because that's why you've had the rejection and like, dang it.
Speaker 2:I'm like all right, fine, and I'm like, okay, well, what about you know, the septum or whatever? He says I can again. But he said my, my, this right here is so thin, he says it would probably reject. I'm just like, okay, fine, I just won't have anything I'll just keep what I have, which is funny because they're just like isn't your boyfriend a piercer?
Speaker 1:and I'm like and I got nothing and I got nothing. Dude like yeah, it was crazy I, I don't know what I would want to do first, but I've always I really want to do the tongue piercing because I think it would not that it would look cool, I think it would feel cool. I I just, I, I don't know that I feel like the texture of the metal or like when it hits on what you get.
Speaker 2:Yeah like I would that and I think you tend to play with it, naturally like because it's there like, um, like you stem with it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like just I would get the ones that vibrate too, like yeah, I'm like, oh, stop it they nice, they nice, they nice I want them like that. They nice. Thank you for calling such and such. How can I help you, sir? What's sorry, my tongue's going off. Hello.
Speaker 2:I didn't have one, not one of those in mind, but they nice, they nice.
Speaker 1:I want one, 10 out of 10, recommend. Well, that's the end of our shenanigans. Do you have anything else you want to say? Dee, Dee, nope, nope, I'm already feeling it Same, same that weed is starting to wear off. Fucking God.
Speaker 2:And now you're coming down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I'm starting to feel the crash and now I'm ready for fucking bed. Same Well, more of the story. I don't know. Is there a moral to the story?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Is there a moral to the story? No, not the shenanigans.
Speaker 1:Go be a hoe. Be the best hoe you can be. Get paid. Doesn't matter how you get paid, get paid, get paid bitch. Get paid, get paid.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2:Get your money.
Speaker 1:Hey, if you can do it, man.
Speaker 2:Brought me my money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell me, I just want to flick your bean. 500 bucks to flick the bitch. If you can find it, you can flick it, that's hilarious. Why does it?
Speaker 2:sound like a carnival thing.
Speaker 1:It really does.
Speaker 2:Carnival booth thing. If you can find it, you can flick. If you can find it, you can flick it.
Speaker 1:If you can find it, you can flick it. You can find it, you can flick it. No one's ever been to find it, so you can find it. You can flick it all you want. You like to flick it, flick it, flick it, flick it, flick it, flick it, flick it, flick it.
Speaker 2:You can make a song.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you you can make a song. I'm telling you you make a song. Uh, to the modem, to the wall no signal coming from my wall.
Speaker 2:Dude your text today when you were high. I'm just like the pizza one killed me, the. I still think about that. I'm just like, oh my god, he should have spit in my pizza.
Speaker 1:I still think about that a lot, I'm just like, oh my god, what like?
Speaker 2:of course you do, of course you do. Who says that shit?
Speaker 1:apparently I do. I do, mr garrison, I do. That was fucking hilarious. What is it? Oh, I sent you. It was oh, I'm high, my teacher, uh, should my teacher be talking slow? Um rain, uh, butterflies in the sky. Take a look, it's in a book reading rainbow all over the place.
Speaker 2:I was, it was awesome, mind you, I was napping and I'm just there and it kind of like half in and half out and I just okay, it's not time, let me check. And I'm just like, really Really, oh my God Reading rainbow what I'm done. I'm not even napping anymore. Oh my god Reading Rainbow what Bing, I'm done. I'm not even napping anymore.
Speaker 1:I'm not sleeping. It was into my college. I'm like did you read the text that I sent you? You're like no.
Speaker 2:I hadn't opened it. That's why I was looking at it from the drop down, I'm like okay, I'll get it in a little bit. What? Okay, just go back to sleep. I couldn't like. Bing, bing, bing, that's all I'm like, oh yeah no, I was like dear lord. Dear lord, I didn't make sure I saw all of them that last one, I was just like so what the the pizza one that was the best that will always be my favorite.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I should have told him to spit in it. Why am I like this? Why am I like this? It doesn't. No, it makes sense. I just don't know why I'm like this it makes sense, it's just not to me.
Speaker 1:It's not to me you know, sometimes when I'm talking to people I kind of give them a little bit of my spicy life a little bit, and they're just like you, do you? It's not for me. I was like oh no, it's not, I'm just. Why did I say, you know, I just forget everything. I just said.
Speaker 2:I couldn't, I cannot get out of my head if I tried now.
Speaker 1:Like you said what you said. I know one of the girls was just like then you're welcome, I guess I'm like you're. Um, yeah, good luck with that image, uh what was it? Uh, oh, no, the guy's like, yeah, I have a, because, like I said, he has a fucking third arm or whatnot. I was like, yeah, I got, I got a 10 inch tube, but I don't bounce, it, just stays stationary. He's like I am done, you don't ride it, you just stays. Just stays there, stays, stays. Okay, that's enough.
Speaker 2:I am your host, jesse James and I am your co-host, dee Dee this is the mature and miss shift podcast.
Speaker 1:Until we meet again. You have a good one. Love y'all. Bye, ciao.
