Mature Mischief podcast
Greetings, Gremlyns!
Join us on the Mature Mischief podcast with your Host Jesse James and Co-Host Dee Dee.
Embark on a journey filled with mishaps, awkward moments, and adulting wins. Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod along with every episode!
Ready to embrace the chaos of adulting and find solace in shared experiences? Let the Mature Mischief Podcast guide you through the ups and downs of life.
Don't miss out on the genuine hilarity that comes with being a grown-up. We'll show you how to turn mundane moments into comedic gold!
Mature Mischief Podcast: Because growing up may be tough, but finding humor in it is always a joy! Tune in now!
Mature Mischief podcast
When Your Podcast Hosts Become Your Inner Devil and Nun
Step into the delightfully chaotic world of Mature Mischief as Jesse James and DeeDee deliver an episode that perfectly balances profound moments with absurd comedy. Their signature irreverent style is on full display as they transition seamlessly between thoughtful conversations and outrageous humor.
The duo kicks things off with their familiar greeting to all the "Gremlins" before diving into a surprisingly nuanced conversation about life choices and mortality. When sharing a story about a woman who survived a heart attack and claimed to have seen St. Michael the Archangel, they approach the topic with unexpected depth while maintaining their authentic voices. "I'm not going to argue about it," Jesse remarks, showing respect for different perspectives on life-altering experiences.
But the true highlight comes when Jesse launches into an extended Nosferatu vampire impression that must be heard to be believed. For several minutes, this vampiric alter-ego professes his preference for "big girls with some meat on them" while DeeDee struggles to contain her laughter. The commitment to this impromptu character bit showcases the spontaneous chemistry that makes this podcast so engaging.
Between the absurdity, listeners get genuine glimpses into the hosts' lives—from DeeDee's love of bass-heavy music on her Skullcandy headphones that help drown out noisy neighbors to interactions with a dog name Tanjiro. The episode wraps with a tantalizing cliffhanger about a "liquid cocaine" story they promise to share in a future episode.
If you've been searching for a podcast that dares to go where others won't—mixing raw honesty, dark humor, and moments of surprising vulnerability—subscribe to Mature Mischief now. And don't forget to leave a review letting Jesse and DeeDee know which part of this wild ride made you laugh the hardest!
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Breather break
What's up, Gremlins? Welcome back to another podcast. My name is Jesse James. I hope everyone is doing it and doing it well. You know the drill. This is the Mature Mischief Podcast. Podcast.
Speaker 2:I need that sigh. There you go, Give me my sigh. Damn it. How dare you I need that sigh.
Speaker 1:I mean, you need it. How dare you?
Speaker 2:I need that sigh. I mean, you need that sigh, but I need to hear that sigh.
Speaker 1:You know what that sigh has just been like.
Speaker 2:That sigh is a very heavy one.
Speaker 1:It's a very heavy one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:That's a big back sigh. You got to come for a second breath. It's like eating pussy.
Speaker 2:And then you go back in, and you go back in, and you go back in, and then you go up from there, especially Bodie man.
Speaker 1:You can be in there just Baby you. Okay, Sit on it again.
Speaker 2:Hold on, I need oxygen. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1:You got your whole fucking CPAP mask and everything Like. You're darth vader yeah, that's, that's totally I know it, you know it, the whole world fucking knows it. I like saying my name twice.
Speaker 2:I am your host, jesse james and I am your co-host, dd yoDee.
Speaker 1:Yo DeeDee, what it do, sister Dee, my goodness, ah, that was a lovely intro, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:So if you're wondering where the second side comes from, that's why From Jesse's extracurricular activities.
Speaker 2:Hey, those extracurricular activities.
Speaker 1:Hey, those extracurricular activities, those collect that word you just said that I can't pronounce that.
Speaker 2:I love that. Whatever it is you were going to say, I was going to start with a C Extracurricular. There we go.
Speaker 1:You know what? I'm not even going to attempt it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I'm good, but anyways, those activities.
Speaker 1:Those. Lick it now. Lick it good, like this pussy, like you should my neck, my back, oh man.
Speaker 2:He needed another one. See, they just come in fat breasts. I'm telling you Needed a third sigh.
Speaker 1:It's like a fat boy sitting on your face, man, and for the straight man out there, it's like a fat bitch sitting on your face. We love, we love a BMW, right man, big, big, big, beautiful women, diddy.
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 1:Do you know what time it is?
Speaker 2:Yes, I do.
Speaker 1:It's that time.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is.
Speaker 1:It is, it's, finally, it's Shannara Games. Shannara Games. That sounded so weird for a moment. What did I don't know? The whole voice, like I heard voices in the background screaming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's not the mics, you hear it, dude, that's in your head. No.
Speaker 1:That's in your head. I hear voices in my head, is it though?
Speaker 2:It's in your head, no.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I hear it in the background.
Speaker 1:It's like run, run, run, fuck it. Can we do the whole podcast like this?
Speaker 2:Depends. Can you guys understand this?
Speaker 1:Can you is the main question. I'm here to bring you a good time for you.
Speaker 2:Oh, dear Lord.
Speaker 1:I am going to be the devil on your shoulder.
Speaker 2:And Sister.
Speaker 1:D is going to be the nun on your other shoulder.
Speaker 2:The nun, not the angel.
Speaker 1:The nun she's going to be your mother Teresa.
Speaker 2:Dear Lord, this is going to be fun. I'm just saying it'll be fun, it'll be great.
Speaker 1:Just think about it. We're just. Can you imagine? This is what we sound like from beyond the grave. Jesse, if you could hear us say something, Fuck you.
Speaker 2:This might be funny. Actually, this is what we sounded like as someone's conscience.
Speaker 1:I think so. I mean, I would hope so.
Speaker 2:The good and the bad.
Speaker 1:The good and the bad. That's hilarious.
Speaker 2:I feel sorry for whome, whoever's consciousness we are.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine it's like someone's like uh, yo go get that cigarette, you know you need it.
Speaker 2:They're asking us questions and we're over here in the background in their head, like let's discuss, let's do it. No, no, don't do it. Do it, don't do it. No, no, don't do it. Do it, don't do it. Stop telling them to do it, jess.
Speaker 1:You see that bridge, do it.
Speaker 2:Don't you dare yeah that's bad. We'd be fired as consciousness. No, yeah, we would. Yeah, we would.
Speaker 1:Look, all the respect for those who took their own lives and decided to take that way out, because the world is a very cruel place, and I probably would have done the same too. So I have all the respect for them. So you'll be missed. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, holy, deep Amen.
Speaker 2:Dear Lord.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did we just? Did I just make fun of suicide? I did, didn't I To a degree, To a degree.
Speaker 2:To a degree I'm just saying You're like here's some respect on it, and then degree, I'm just saying. You're like here's some respect on it, and then it's like just kidding, hence, hence the devil on the shoulder.
Speaker 1:You think I'm Paul Logan. I ain't going to no fucking forest to go. Disrespect the dead. First of all, let's say something about that real quick.
Speaker 2:I love how it's like hold on. I need this to be clear.
Speaker 1:So I know that, I know this is like the whole shenanigans thing or whatnot about it, when when people say I always had friends that always tell me like if I was to like hurt myself now tomorrow would you miss me? Oh, most definitely. But I would understand why I would get why? Right, because it's a crazy, it's, it's a, it's a feeling that people don't realize or get or be able to do and it's like how can you be so cruel and be acceptance to it? I'm like how's that cruel? Because I get that people don't want to do it anymore.
Speaker 1:Those who suffer from cancer, those who suffer from depression, they also suffer from maybe parkinson's or epilepsy or anything anything really, because it's it's kind of hard and I had, I mean, remember a lady had spoke to me and she had told me she's like I survived a heart attack and I saw Michael the archangel in front of me. He's a real, living thing that I saw in front of me and he gave me an option Either I can live, to continue to live another day or I can go ahead and die. But he also told me, if I died, this is what you're going to go through. Your body will never heal from this. You're going to suffer all this way through and if you want to be with your family, she goes.
Speaker 1:I took the selfish way out and I went back. I could have been dead and I should have died. Do you know how hard it was to hear that? That was tough, that was motherfucking tough. You know what I mean. So I'm just like you know what. I'm not going to argue about it, because you know what Bitch, if you say you saw St Michael the Archangel, you know what Kudos man, because I'm like bitch, where you at right now. But you know. But there are people who said they've seen, you know the angels and I'm all like fucking kudos.
Speaker 1:dude Like damn.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:But that's coming from an older lady, that's somebody from like in their 70s, 80s. You're old, that's like you can come back from it, but your mobility of trying to go through it.
Speaker 2:Your quality of life is already very limited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Now more so.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, I'm just like whew. That's why, when you told me about the story about James, and when I'm hearing that story too as well, that's fucking wild, dude, that's wild. Mm-hmm, that is wild, but you know, it is what it is at the end of the day, what do y'all think? Because that's wild, I mean, everybody's gonna have their opinion on it, rather, if you agree with it or not. So it's whatever, back to our regular broadcasting. Sorry, we can't just have to take a step back sometimes. Let you know how it is, I wonder.
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 1:Let's see if I can do it.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:Didi. Come to me, didi. Nosferatu wants to talk to you. Come, didi. Come, nosferatu wants to talk to you. Come to the car. You're going to do things to me. I don't know why they picture this for me as someone who likes a skinny girl. I like a big girl with some meat on her. I like a big girl with some meat on her.
Speaker 2:This is why my pleasure is so high, be like yeah, they do. If we get together, you're just going to keep getting fatter, homeboy.
Speaker 1:That's the idea.
Speaker 2:That's the idea.
Speaker 1:That's the idea you want to die. Nos fratua wants to eat you alive, june.
Speaker 2:Simmons has nothing on this time. Oh my god, that was awesome. That was awesome.
Speaker 1:Your mother nature is my cup of drink. I shall make you feel good about yourself. No more pills for you.
Speaker 2:What pills?
Speaker 1:What are those pills that they take for their menstrual cycle? What is it called?
Speaker 2:Midal.
Speaker 1:Midal.
Speaker 2:I don't take it.
Speaker 1:You don't need my doll, you need more. Nosferatu Will live off your juices. I shall make you mine.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine? That's hilarious.
Speaker 2:Have you had it? That is hilarious. I'm like, look, bro, get in line with the rest of the creeps.
Speaker 1:Who said I was a creep. Those eternal losers don't understand the comprehension of a woman. Those freaks of nature make Nosferatu him, nosferatu, nosferatu. That's hilarious. Yours shall be mine and you'll like it. Any any big girl listening to this. Nosferatu wants you. You think my skin looks like this from a beautiful girl. No, this is from a big girl body and the cholesterol that's on it. Give me a Big Mac any day and you can sit on my face if you like, come.
Speaker 2:I'm dead.
Speaker 1:I'll let you drive a stick into my hole. I mean to my heart, do you like, peggy? I can't. I'll take you from this world and we shall moan into the sunlight. I don't know where they get this. The sun runs my eyes. They just make it really dark. That's why I have aluminum foils on my windows.
Speaker 2:I'm dying over here dude.
Speaker 1:My head hurts. My cheeks hurt too. I think that's from the painting from that lesbian I was looking for for another woman that I was dating. I thought it was Justin Bieber, oh my God, and I got Ellen and Generous.
Speaker 2:She wasn't so generous. After all, my hand hurts.
Speaker 1:How you holding up Didi, poorly, poorly poorly, poorly like you have your head by your throat just to take your blood pressure I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to soothe the freaking pain. It's shooting up my neck, to my head, dude, I'm trying to regulate it. Not the regulation Shit.
Speaker 1:I shall be your Nosferatu. Yes, oh, it doesn't sound the same. I sound like if I've been sucking on dick all my life.
Speaker 2:But you have.
Speaker 1:That's the other faggot. Do not mistake me for that other fruitcake. You good, you good you're good, I'm good you good, I'm good, all right, cool all right. Oh man, that's fucking awesome dude that was hilarious, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2:How's that for shenanigans, guys?
Speaker 1:I mean, it was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:We shot this again. Awesome, yeah, it was. We shall do this again some other time. There are other B&W girls that need some licking. I shall use the curse of my shadows to sleep with multiple women from afar.
Speaker 2:Good luck with that.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of pressure on just one man.
Speaker 2:It's a lot of driving.
Speaker 1:I don't get the concept of them making my penis look big on the movies.
Speaker 2:Because it was a piece.
Speaker 1:No, it was just a Vienna weenie. My fingers were longer. Coochie, coochie, coochie, coochie, coochie, coochie, nosferatu. I never understood the obsession of vampires and why we were so admired by its glorious but fought twilight, admired by its glorious but forked twilight and their glittery vampires.
Speaker 2:Uh yeah, the glittery ones don't count.
Speaker 1:The glittery ones gave us a bad name. That's why we know Sferatu had to come out of high tea and show tea.
Speaker 2:And I'm gonna say the obsession with them is their obsession, their devotion their devotion was a mockery.
Speaker 1:I've had so many women over my ears. Never assume the obsession.
Speaker 2:Not on that level. That's why they're obsessed with vampires.
Speaker 1:Although I was voted a werewolf. What was his name? Team Jacob. He was very hot brown man. No comment, he was a very sexy brown man.
Speaker 2:No comment.
Speaker 1:That was the only time I ever loved another man.
Speaker 2:Lies.
Speaker 1:You don't know this thing. Who told you my history? We were limited from Noyman back in the day.
Speaker 2:I got it off of your browser history.
Speaker 1:Who told you about my browser history?
Speaker 2:You left it open and logged in.
Speaker 1:My browser history was a stone tablet. Who found it?
Speaker 2:Who carves it into stone.
Speaker 1:Apparently I did. We didn't have computers to keep track of our records, like a black book.
Speaker 2:That was your first mistake.
Speaker 1:STDs were a thing back in the day. Got to keep up with the last person. Well, luckily to us, Nosferatu can now go to the blood bank for free.
Speaker 2:Okay, Blade.
Speaker 1:Who is this Blade you speaker? Does he carry braids on him?
Speaker 2:He's a vampire.
Speaker 1:There is no such thing as vampires.
Speaker 2:And vampire killer.
Speaker 1:He betrayed his own people. That sounded weird. Oh man, that was fun.
Speaker 2:That sounded like a weird-ass little cat cat. I missed that cat commercial. Hilarious because the tune that you're singing was the whistle. Yeah, guess what that's the second time I hear that tune today it really how often do you hear the sound that song right?
Speaker 1:not as often twice today who was the other one?
Speaker 2:diego was whistling it at work oh really yep, nice yep, our light was went out, our electricity went out. So we're just like okay, so what do we do? He's like, no, just recover, we'll just start to fix things. And so we were bored fixing things. And he's in his corner and he just starts whistling. I'm like of all that. And he's like I don't know, I was bored. I'm like weird. And now you're meowing it like so. I'm like what's with the song?
Speaker 1:you know the one one. I think that's the most creepiest one I can actually do. It's when um, oh where, oh, where has my little dog gone? Oh where, oh, where can he be that one? So I can whistle it. Okay, but it the whistle is a little bit different.
Speaker 2:Let's see if I can do it here it's just kind of like that.
Speaker 1:But can you imagine just going down the aisle and it's dark and that's all you're hearing? It's just that whistle. Yeah, it's pretty creepy. It rhymes with like I know you're not whistling oh where, oh, where, oh, where my little dog has gone, and that just sounds so fucking creepy. It doesn't sound as cool on the podcast, though, but if you actually hear it in real life and it's dark and that's what you hear, and someone's walking whistling that I'm running the other way, I'm running the other way, just saying Absolutely. No.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Oh yeah, Boom.
Speaker 1:Boom, boom, boom, boom. You know, I've actually been really enjoying my headphones.
Speaker 2:My Skullcandy headphones.
Speaker 1:I try to enjoy them as much as I can, but I haven't really really done this past week because I've been fucking busy. So, yeah, I use them every single day that's you know what that experience is really good every single day, I live in a place where the walls are very thin.
Speaker 2:In my apartment complex and I'm literally surrounded by um people, neighbors, obviously very loud neighbors. So every day that I sit and I work on my stuff, I'm jamming ain't nothing wrong with that jam, just, and I found this really awesome because I'm a bass head. I love.
Speaker 1:I've showed you a few songs that are actually really good.
Speaker 2:I found one specifically for therapy purposes and I play it when I have a migraine. I'm napping and, oh my god, it rattles my entire head and I'm just sitting there like yeah, I can feel the rattle to my nipples like nobody's business. Like nobody's business.
Speaker 1:I can feel the rattle through my nipples. Weee, nobody's business. I can feel the rattle through my nipples.
Speaker 2:Whee, it's like, what are you listening to?
Speaker 1:Touch and you'll know, gonna ring my bell, ring my bell ring my bell ring my bell ring my bell gonna ring my bell ring.
Speaker 2:You know, I remember doing that like if it's like uh, make sure you like and subscribe and ring that bell.
Speaker 1:Oh god, that's funny yeah when I had to do the whole youtube thing, ring my bell. People still do, people yeah.
Speaker 2:Everybody still says to like they still do. But it was the whole ring.
Speaker 1:It was like ring my bell type thing. I was just like I kind of enjoyed it a little bit too much, though you know, man, I mean I laughed so hard. I got to fucking take a piss now and I'm like, okay, we got a few more minutes. It's like the longest fucking ever. We got four fucking minutes.
Speaker 2:The longest four minutes of your life.
Speaker 1:Ready One, two, three.
Speaker 2:No, you're going too fast, no.
Speaker 1:Fuck it.
Speaker 2:And we're back Intermission.
Speaker 1:Man, I had to go fucking pee, so bad Better. Much better. I thought it was going to explode for some reason. I was like shit, I'm gonna piss my pants.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna piss my pants. I'm gonna piss my pants. That would have been hilarious for for you, hell to the yes, hell to and possibly the listeners probably, but I'll be like you guys, are he's so lucky we're not doing video?
Speaker 1:Oh, what was it? One joke that I'll leave y'all with hey stop it Is how do what? Do old people taste like Depends?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I was legit like going to start thinking like, hmm, what are the options, what are the possibilities of what old people could taste like?
Speaker 1:Never mind Depends.
Speaker 2:Gross, hopefully clean ones, new, fresh out the pack ones, not used ones.
Speaker 1:Bring my dopens to me, because that's disgusting Nutsfratu is requesting my dopens to me. Because that's disgusting, Nuts fratu is requesting my dopens. Little shit. Well, that's some puppy. Hey what, I'll fuck you up dog and he walks away. He's like just kidding I don't want the smoke. I don't want any of that. I won't take what he's taking, please the mother two want it.
Speaker 2:Look, oh well, not anymore, he wants it. Oh help, he just puts his head down. He's like it's cool, I'm being a good boy. I'm being a good boy.
Speaker 1:You know, you know.
Speaker 2:You are.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You are, tanjiro. You're going to be missed. Once we move out, buddy, we're going to be missing you. I sound so ominous, poor baby.
Speaker 2:We're going to miss you, Tanjiro. Oh, we're going to miss you, tanjiro how funny he barks the other ones in the background all right, ring my bell. Ring my bell, tanjiro, ring my bell how cute, only if you say his name I know it's only time he does it.
Speaker 1:It's so fucking adorable like me it's late, I know it's late, I know I know finish it, thank you good boy. Finish it. Thank you, good boy. Look at the fucking way patterns. That's hilarious. Really, really, dude, really, dude, you're going to kill somebody's ear off. Dude, seriously.
Speaker 2:The other ones.
Speaker 1:They're all boring, I'm telling you?
Speaker 2:No, they're funny, no, they're something else Ring ring ring ring ring Ring ring Ring ring ring ring Ring ring Ring ring, all right.
Speaker 1:That's eight of our shenanigans. I appreciate all the laughters. Hashtag, you needed it. Hashtag, take a shot, hashtag.
Speaker 2:Pickleback, pickleback shots.
Speaker 1:Hashtag tequila makes your clothes fall off. Hashtag Jagermeister returned to sender.
Speaker 2:Hashtag don't do liquid cocaine, kids cocaine you know what?
Speaker 1:I wonder how many people I know. We talk about liquid cocaine on here a lot it's a drink you know, there's one story that I definitely want to come back and revisit again because it'll be fucking hilarious to hear. We'll talk about it later. We're going to leave you on a fucking cliffhanger. Stay tuned Stay tuned for more Love y'all. Bye, ciao.
