Mature Mischief podcast
Greetings, Gremlyns!
Join us on the Mature Mischief podcast with your Host Jesse James and Co-Host Dee Dee.
Embark on a journey filled with mishaps, awkward moments, and adulting wins. Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod along with every episode!
Ready to embrace the chaos of adulting and find solace in shared experiences? Let the Mature Mischief Podcast guide you through the ups and downs of life.
Don't miss out on the genuine hilarity that comes with being a grown-up. We'll show you how to turn mundane moments into comedic gold!
Mature Mischief Podcast: Because growing up may be tough, but finding humor in it is always a joy! Tune in now!
Mature Mischief podcast
From Military Silence to Leather Pride
What's up gremlyns,
The journey to authenticity often requires stepping out of not just one closet, but many. Master Cat Artemis, celebrated Leatherman with titles including Mister Sister Leather 2017, Miss Tuff Drag Diva 2018, Mister Alamo City Leather 2022-23, takes us through his remarkable life transformation from closeted military serviceman to proud community leader.
Cat's story begins in the shadow of the military's hostile policies toward LGBTQ+ individuals, where he witnessed firsthand how a moment of vulnerability during confession led to a fellow serviceman's discharge within 48 hours. These experiences forced him to maintain a heterosexual facade, complete with marriage and children, while his authentic self remained hidden beneath layers of societal expectations.
The heart of this episode revolves around a love story that transcends oceans. What began as a simple Facebook connection with a British man named Stuart evolved through Skype calls and emotional support during Cat's difficult divorce. Their relationship blossomed into a proposal at San Antonio's Tower of Americas—now "their tower"—visible from anywhere in the city as a constant reminder of their commitment.
Beyond personal narrative, Cat offers wisdom gained through decades of experience. His financial advice resonates with brutal honesty: monitor your finances, avoid excessive credit, and recognize that meaningful achievement requires investment—not just in monetary terms, but in relationships and personal growth. His perspective on masculinity challenges traditional leather community standards, suggesting protection rather than dominance as the true measure of strength.
Have you faced your own multiple closets? What financial wisdom would have helped your younger self? Join the conversation and follow the Mature Mischief Podcast for our follow-up "Freaky Friday" episode where Master Cat continues his fascinating story!
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Breather break
What's up, grimmins? Welcome back to another podcast. My name is Jesse James. I hope everyone is doing it and doing it well. You know the drill. This is the Mature Mischief Podcast. You know it's not the same without Didi Every time I do this. I know she's not here at the moment, y'all, but she will be joining us here soon, shortly, on the next episode. She is currently working right now. If you can hear my voice right now, I'm just a little under the weather with allergies that are going on right now.
Speaker 1:I do have a special guest here with me today. He is going to be on here with us today, on Hump Day Wednesday, which is going to be today. His name is Cat Artemis. He is one of my favorite favorite longtime friends. I got to know him through the years at Kinky Carnival. He is a master, so he does go by Master Cat Artemis. He's a Mr Sister Leather of 2017, mr Tough Drag Diva of 2018, and Mr Alamo City Leather of 2022 and 2023. He's also a great, great composer. He's one of my favorites that I love to listen to anytime he's on a computer. He is actually here today. He's finally come out of the woodworks from his man cave and from the cave, from the stone ages, just to be here today with me today. Master cat, how are you?
Speaker 2:doing. I'm doing good and it looks like the dogs are happy about it. Yeah, they are happy about it oh, they're all happy they're.
Speaker 1:They're just having a ball um on that. Yeah, it was so. Uh. So, master cat, welcome to the mature mischief podcast. Uh, we've rebanded everything here because we, when you started on here, it was the slice of life yes, and it was a very kinky, outgoing, uh, very outspoken page. Mature mischief is the same way. We're just more of an adult, you know, trying to get through life as as adults here on that, you know, that's not.
Speaker 2:So no, it's not and real quick.
Speaker 1:With that being said, I know it, you know it and the whole world fucking knows it. I am your host, jesse james, and master cat is going to be my co-host today. So quake with fair, yeah, so I'm actually really excited about that. Oh, normally I would have my uh, my, my best friend here with us, uh, on this podcast here today, but I think there was a mix up on our communications because she thought the podcast was you were going to be here a lot later and I told her no, it was at three o'clock. I could have sworn. I told her at three, but that was a miscommunication on both our hands. She was like I should have asked what time he was going to come and whatnot and whatever. I was like no, no, I know, I know, I know. I'm sorry, bestie, I'm sorry, but anywho, tell me a little bit about yourself as an adult living in this world of today's politics and how you're dealing with and being with everything. How have you lived life to your?
Speaker 2:fullest.
Speaker 2:Just learning to be who I am going through and coming out of so many damn closets that I didn't realize how many closets have you come out of, I don't know. Let's see First of all coming out as being a gay man. And then, when I did that and I joined, you know, the Bears suddenly realized oh wait, a minute, he's kinky, he doesn't just want to kiss, yeah. And then and he wears leather. So I had to come out of the leather closet and say I'm a leatherman. And then you know saying, oh yeah, by the way, I'm into BDSM. And then finally telling people and posting it live as, by the way, I am no longer a Catholic or a Christian, I am a witch, yeah, and that one really rocked the world. So it's kind of interesting.
Speaker 2:You know doing some of my meditations and some of my. I'm writing this journal that keeps going on forever and ever. But there's a certain point where I had to realize that anybody before my divorce is not in my circles anymore. It's like people. After that, when I finally landed at the annex one night as a scared bear who is afraid to ask for a second diet. Coke has come all this way. How old are you, mastercat? Has come all this way? How old are?
Speaker 1:you Master Cat.
Speaker 2:Well, this life I am 61 right now, nice, I mean, of course, I'm one of those. Being a witch, I believe in multiple lives. So yeah, god knows, I've been called an ancient spirit before.
Speaker 1:That's why I said bring your cave from the Stone Ages.
Speaker 2:I studied when we had it on Papyrus and we thought that was the best thing ever.
Speaker 1:I had your first autograph and the handprint.
Speaker 2:It's still on the cave, so I appreciate it I was the one who did the original cave drawings in france exactly, we were the first ones to draw the dick pics on the wall like oh, we thought that was oh, that's five dicks. I'm taking it once.
Speaker 1:So you've, you've, you've learned uh throughout. When did you come out? Uh, were you a late bloomer as well?
Speaker 2:I ended up being a late bloomer because, with my era, it was dangerous to be gay in the military right. It was instant. I mean we shouldn't do that.
Speaker 2:This probably could be that, no, you're fine but it was instant discharge, like within 48 hours. I mean I literally watched somebody get thrown out in 48 hours. That was actually a fellow choir member when I was singing in one of the chapel choirs. Right literally, it's a sad story. It I might tell the story just because it's going to infuriate some people and it's also been leading towards my getting out of the monotheistic religions and getting into the polytheistic things like Wiccanism is. This young man was obviously flaming gay, but of course he and I we all had to keep it under wraps. We kind of knew about each other but we didn't say anything. But the organist who was contracted had a husband, and this is way back in the 80s when even that wasn't allowed and you know, being a husband was an ex, you know unofficial thing back then. Right, well, basically what happened was the organist and his boyfriend decided to make him the throuple. Hey, yeah, I can keep going speaking of throuples back there.
Speaker 1:I know right, Our pups are amazing.
Speaker 2:And then what happened was you know, they broke up with him. And he got angry about it. And he was so angry about it that when it was time around the Lenten season to go to confession, he confessed to the chaplain how angry he was about things, and the chaplain, instead of doing absolving and forgetting, basically said you turn yourself into your commander, or I will in the morning.
Speaker 2:so oh wow so instead of being a catholic priest, he turned back into a military officer and decided I'm gonna bust this fag, yeah, and so and I knew about this because where I worked it was basically the hr, the personnel building, it was back then they called it the consolidated base personnel office and all the personnel things for the, you know, the military was there.
Speaker 2:So I was kind of like like like hard, it was very hardcore. And the point is is I had the job of going around to all the command sections to get things signed off like decorations and performance and separation packages, and there was his name and I saw it and as I was walking back in he's smoking a cigarette outside back when we could still smoke outside.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And you know, he was just pretending like nothing was happening. And I confronted him and I assuming his name was Jesse I said, jesse, don't fuck with me, I already know what it is, I've got your package right here. Why? Why the fuck did you even talk to a chaplain? Yeah, you know, and that's when I started to realize you have to be very careful who you came out to.
Speaker 2:And it wasn't even in the 90s when Don't Ask, don't Tell came out. It was actually Don't Ask, don't Tell, Don't Pursue, because they used to witch hunt people they thought were gay, right, and so hiding all that time and even, unfortunately, I guess, getting married because I thought I had to, because it was just at a certain point, I had a certain rank, and why is he still single? Kind of the murmurs like that, you know what's he doing on the weekends, kind of things like that. So you know. So ultimately, after 21 years, I got divorced Because I got found out when I went to college. Everybody knew and I would go into clubs and people knew. But I would always have to drive home and realize I had to put this costume back on of the straight man and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:And then, when it finally blew up, she found a book hiding under the. We lived in Squalor back then. She didn't know how to keep a house clean and it was always a mess, and she finally found this book, written by bill brent, called the ultimate guide to anal sex for men. Now, how do you explain as a no, as a church organist, church pianist, choir leader, uh, all that other stuff. And you know, got raising three children, straight man, supposedly, right supposedly, and music minister, and all this other stuff. How do you explain having this book? It's like, what am I going to do?
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Am I going to continue to license it? I borrowed it from a friend. Well, why would I want to know about this stuff? I'm not going to be, you know so.
Speaker 1:I was trying to do it on you, baby, oh God no. Oh dear.
Speaker 2:God no it was.
Speaker 1:It was like a rough time period for you and everything.
Speaker 2:What was?
Speaker 1:what is it like? Because I know that, uh, some fan was asking me. It's just like your time period and being at the age of you are what was finances like for you back in the day? Like how did you handle your finances back then? Or how, how has everything shifted from then to now? Oh dear god.
Speaker 2:Back then. Of course, being active duty, the budget is very, very tight. Right, raising three kids was hard Cause you're you're retired military. I'm retired military and retired teacher, so I've got two pensions coming in. I've asked my house for nearly five decades, so it's time to enjoy my garden and things like that. But it was. It was hard because we never seemed to have enough to make ends meet. She didn't really have a job that paid, she did minimum wage and she broke her back doing stuff. So it's, you know, it was. It was tough. I was very fortunate that going to college was because I was labeled a disabled vet at the time and so I was allowed to go to UTSA and get my music degree. Otherwise that would have been a fortune to pay for.
Speaker 2:Right Because even right down. You're right down the street from UTSA, Right, it is not cheap to go there. It's not, no, no, it's not. And not for something special like a music program, because there's always there's actually extra costs, Like you have to pay extra for your music and you have to buy all these other things, and it was always kind of hard to tell. You know something like the veterans administration that buying sheet music was my textbook. Every semester my professor had to send a letter to say this is his textbook for this course. You need to pay for this or reimburse him. It was a mess, but what happened was I finally graduated and I got a job as a teacher and comparatively to what I was getting before, that was a little bit more, so we lived a little more comfortable, but then it got me. Well, if we've got more now, we can spend more. Let's buy more religious goodies for the house and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:So it ultimately got to the point that when I divorced then it really got bad because I took on most of the debts, Right, Just to get rid of her. Oh shit, yeah, Just to get rid of her. It was my husband you, you know Stuart really well was really pissed about the agreement I made.
Speaker 2:The courts found that I was the primary custodian of the of the children and I waived child support because I knew she couldn't afford it, right, and I even, even though it wasn't required in our state, I offered her spousal support for three years, right, and you know, six hundred dollars a month for three years, that's a lot, that is a lot of money. That's like twenty four thousand dollars roughly, roughly yeah and so you know he was pissed.
Speaker 2:When I did this is, look, I gotta get rid of him and got rid of her, not her. This was her back then. I finally have the right gender now, uh so, but it was. It was rough even then, and so, finally, when the last payment was done with spousal supports, things got a little bit better, but it wasn't until we downscaled from the house that we're in and got into the house we live in now, right, right, and we'll have y'all's house. By the way, my house is beautiful it is beautiful the garden.
Speaker 2:The garden is getting basically manicured right now and the pool is almost ready to get in when it gets to 90 degrees, again we're we're getting in it, so you need to come down and get it. Yeah, um, my, our, our, leatherman, they're waiting for me to announce the pool party it's like, yeah, like 50 leatherman and little jock straps and uh and speedos sitting in my pool, the life, oh my god, it's so beautiful, I live vicariously through you, so but uh, come to the party.
Speaker 1:Well, you know my schedule, my schedule is always so busy, but um, I it's um, it's one of those things, because I'm I see myself and I've always been curious about I. We're a big gap in age between you and I, though, but we understand each other thoroughly as adults, right? So we go and we're like, oh shit, how do we manage and everything. What was it like finding Stuart for you and your love life and your companionship? Because we've talked about love down here, we talked about sex, we've talked about hate, we talked about backstabbing. My thing is, what was the chemistry between you two?
Speaker 2:That is quite the story. Yeah, in fact, we're actually coming up on an anniversary, real soon.
Speaker 1:Oh, how long have you been together really quickly before you start your story.
Speaker 2:We finally started meeting each other, believe it or not, on Facebook Really On Facebook, because you've got to remember, go back in the timeline, those of us who remember way back in the 2010s. Right, I started Facebook in 2009, got divorced at the end of 2000. But at the beginning of 2010, this was when we liked to collect a lot of friends, especially if they were cute and hot. Right, and there was this one guy that was this really hot cowboy picture he had with a shirtless cowboy and he had, like you know, the 3 000 friends on it, and when he would post something, 350 people would would add on to the thread and not normally saying anything other than to say, oh, you're so hot, you know, or answer his question, right, um, he was an interesting person because he was also a professor of music at another university, and so when I wrote him to say all the stuff I didn't write about person because he was also a professor of music at another university, and so when I wrote him to say all the stuff I didn't write about, how hot he was, I talked about how I like certain theory and how I like this kind of stuff, and he started writing back to me about this.
Speaker 2:He says you're one of the few people that are talking to me and not treating me like a sex object. You're treating me about, unable to talk my language of music, and so we started that. But anyway, stuart, language of music, right, and he said so we started that. But anyway, stewart was also a friend of his because, again, we all subscribe to people who are hot and look good, right, and he has normal he's. We still do that now.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's changed in 2025 either, but, uh, 15 million years later, we're still doing some things the same yeah, right the thing about it is stewart put something down there that was obviously a British colloquial and I remember from living in the UK for four years in the military that the dog's bollocks was definitely not an American term, that's a British term. The dog's bollocks, it basically means it's really, really good. And so I decided I'd click on his profile and, sure enough, yep, he lives in the UK. He lived in this uh town called milton keynes. I knew where that was. It was kind of near cambridge and all that stuff. I had been through it like maybe once, right. Um, so it's okay, I kind of know where he was from and I went through all his pictures and he was really kind of cute. So I kept looking at more pictures, because that's what we do when we see people's profiles. We still do that now I do.
Speaker 1:We stalk I do, I still look at stuff on FetLife especially. Oh God, good old FetLife.
Speaker 2:Oh, fetlife, cause they're there. If you are not, by the way, I am a Leatherman and I am a kinkster. If you are not in FetLife yet, you really should get there, especially if you live a life of leather, because kink kind of goes along with it for the. But you really should, because Fetleaf's got a whole bunch of stuff on it. They really do. They really do, oh my God. But anyway, back to Facebook where you have to kind of police what you're doing.
Speaker 2:He only had one video and then he was basically on there and I heard that little accent and it was like he was basically saying you know, sorry guys, I look like shit, but this is my chance to try to make a video video, because he was trying to figure out his equipment and it recorded and it got up there to facebook. And so I finally wrote him back after I saw all the pictures and stuff and I said I beg your pardon to differ, but I don't think you're. You look like shit, you're actually kind of cute. And that's when it started. And then facebook messenger back and forth for a while, and then stewart said this thing one time have you ever heard of a thing called Skype?
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:Skype was the biggest latest thing. That's where you could call people and not have to pay if it was computer to computer Right. It was just starting in late 2009, early 2010.
Speaker 1:Oh God, Skype was so amazing back in the day.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was.
Speaker 1:I remember being a young person, being on skype and doing things that I shouldn't have been doing, but don't we all so? You know, that's a different story so fine.
Speaker 2:You know, at one point I was afraid to get it. I said this is something else going on. And my uh, my co-worker, who was a theater teacher where I was at I was teaching choir and orchestra and she said, oh no, skype's kind of fun. They just won't let us do it at school because it's a push me, pull you kind of thing and you can't control what the content is on the other end.
Speaker 2:So you can't control the content. So I finally got Skype and I wrote Stuart and I says here's my login and we finally, on the 28th of April 2010, we made our very first Skype connection. And here he comes up on the screen and he's got the British accent. He looks at me and goes, oh hello.
Speaker 1:And I mean that he has such a beautiful British accent.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's got a beautiful accent. I'm just like, oh God, and he hasn't lost it yet either.
Speaker 1:No, he hasn't. And he's such a good looking guy too now, even in his age, it's just like man.
Speaker 2:He looks like a sexy granddad.
Speaker 1:Y'all too, Like the whole beard, everything. I've seen some older pictures of you where it was just like trimmed back and everything and it's like that's not cat. I'm like no way. And then you have your beard. I'm just like man, the full ZZ Top beard, the vols easy top beard and everything on that. So when did it become an official meetup? When was that and how did y'all plan?
Speaker 2:that because it's different. Now all the skype calls back and forth with like two school boys laughing about stuff and sharing me sharing american comedians and him sharing british humor, because I love british humor I love british humor because the first thing I said to him after he said that oh hello was hi, I was hi, I like Monty Python, and he rolled his eyes.
Speaker 2:He almost wanted to end the conversation there but he decided, no, this cute American's talking to me and it's like. So we started the conversation and we were going back and forth and then when shit happened and the book got found and the divorce was starting, he was the best friend in my ear keeping me from doing something rash during a divorce. And somewhere in the middle of the summer, of all that going on, while the cooling off, while the waiting period was going on and the bantering was going back and forth between me and my now ex-wife, he went to Egypt and he spent, you know, down there internet is not readily available like here, so he was spending like 35 bucks a day to get the internet access and he would skype me from from egypt, and now we're eight hours apart, right?
Speaker 2:so, uh, he would get up in the middle of the night to talk to me as I was getting ready to go to bed, and then, finally, the L word came out love. And that's what happened. We realized when this is all over with, I'm going to ask you for your hand. And so we started all that. He was again. He was basically my best friend, listening in, because sometimes I would have an earpiece in my ear because my computer was open and the screen was minimized. But he's watching her rant and scream at me and all that stuff. He's in my ear saying keep calm, don't react. That's what she wants you to do. She wants you to do something like hit her or something like that. Right, and she's got something you know.
Speaker 1:So I stay quiet and just let the process work, which is really hard for most men to do, right, and so because we live in this area Now, we live in this area even before now, and then it's masculinity, right, so we live in this time period on that. So let's finish on that note. How do you feel about?
Speaker 2:masculinity. Now we have so many people around, our entire spectrum of you know, from ultra masculine to feminine and androgynous and everything in between. I do not like machismo. That I don't believe is masculinity, but I do believe. I'm a cis male and I'm not ashamed of being a cis male, but I respect all my trans and non-binary. I live in that world with them. My masculinity, if anything, would be the, the urge to protect, right? Uh, if anything else, not.
Speaker 1:Look at me, get over here, boy although I do that's really impressive, although I do do that in a scene. You like that boy, you're like that sir yes, sir, get your ass over here.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh, daddy, you know, it's me again you know it's so funny because we have the gay voice right. We like we don't listen to it or we don't pay attention like we. We're outright, we're at flamboyant when you're in leather, when I'm in a certain type of area, you know it's like yo get your ass over here and then you just see, you just see, guys, just like whoa that that came out of them too, like holy shit, but for me. But at the time it's like hey, how you doing master cat, I don't really do a lot of the rupalisms.
Speaker 2:Anyway, yeah, I don't. I mean I nothing against my drag queens, because they have the whole language of their own right and I get it, but leather is usually. You know, leather has traditionally been. I'm a dude right where we're having to break out of that old tradition of stuff. I call myself a recovering traditionalist right meaning.
Speaker 1:Well, because it all started with what? Tom and finland, I want to say that finland is one of the aspects of it.
Speaker 2:but it really started, gay leather especially started way back with the military leaving world war two and these guys I know it did that, but the whole masculinity like where it fits was in the whole Tom and Finn yeah it started off with like oh, we can be gay, but we can also be masculine.
Speaker 1:So it gave us this picture where people were taking it and trashing it in a way that's not supposed to be.
Speaker 2:It was supposed to be art, you know and the thing is, a lot of those guys are anatomically impossible to reach, unless you.
Speaker 1:You know it's some of them, they're, they're over, they're overweight they're not over, they're overly buffed, or they're what we call uh. In today's um anime it's called bada yeah, where they're just overly buffed and overly just like it's kind of a hyperbole of what the actual right you know you know people are like oh, I just love that about that art.
Speaker 1:It's so hot, I wish men would look more. I was like dude, that's. You're putting a lot of high expectations on men and what we're supposed to look like, right, you know? Because I know I'm a bear, but I'm a fat bear, but I'm also a bear that's happy with his body. Same here, you know. So it's just like you know I. I just don't see the whole masculinity between men, you know what I mean. So that's kind of the but in you. So what was the proposal like when the whole came down to it?
Speaker 1:come back to first circle on that because I like we love getting off subject, so but we do I want to come back to it because I want to know like this is like true love at its true finest. You know, this is like people are. We're on hump day, it is halfway through winds. We're halfway through the week. You know the weekends ride around the corner. We're just enjoying it. Give me a little. You know gay proposal, what was that like?
Speaker 2:well, for us.
Speaker 2:We I get divorced at the beginning of november of 2010, finally, and that was a whole other story, but we won't get into that. So Stuart basically showed up two weeks later and we ended up having to stay in a hotel because the ex was still living at the house at the moment and objected to him being there, and, of course, I had to be careful because the documents weren't finalized Right. So while we were there, I decided I was going to take him to the Tower of Americas, right, and I decided I was going to take him to the Tower of Americas, right. And not realizing he's afraid of heights, my husband. Well, what I told him was and for anybody that wants to go to the Tower, the view is spectacular. But if you don't want to see the elevator, go up, look at the back wall. And I made him look at the back wall, and I kind of held him, and so when we got up there, we walked around in the observation thing and then we went around to the out there, where it's blowing wind all the time.
Speaker 1:It's so high up there it is.
Speaker 2:And I finally got him to the northwest side of the tower so it was overlooking towards Converse, because that's where I lived at one point and then, basically, I dropped to my knee out there and I proposed to him up on the Tower of Americas.
Speaker 1:Oh, that is so cute.
Speaker 2:So, no matter where we are in the city, when we would see the tower because the tower is so tall, you can see it almost in every point of the city at some point we would say baby, there's our tower. And so we went downstairs after that and we were in the gift shop. We happened to see a lesbian couple there and I was like we just proposed, we just proposed and they were just so they didn't know what to do with us.
Speaker 1:So they gave us a hug and said congratulations and then we went that evening.
Speaker 2:We went to luther's when it used to be good and it used to exist and it was that little shack on the on the side in the old parking lot before they built the tobin lofts, right, and there was a drag queen that was, uh, the maitre d at the time, right, and we showed him the rings and it was like because he put a ring on me as well, because then he kneeled down and did it to me too- it was like even steven's here, so, and she was like yay that is so cute.
Speaker 1:So it's so cute, that's what happened.
Speaker 2:And then we started the immigration. We got legally married in massachusetts because it was one of the only states we could get legally married in in 2012. First I went over to the UK to talk to his sister and talk to his great aunt and his cousins he's like the only living family. He's got over there now, right, and wanted to make sure they were cool with it and all that stuff. And they were like, absolutely, you can take him, you can take him. And they were like, absolutely, you take him, you take him.
Speaker 2:No, they had said to me what my family said to him when they were saying yes, absolutely, because you know, kat just brightened up in his life Because they knew I went through hell during the divorce, right. And so when this was all happening, you know my mother had met him when we were doing a Skype call, oddly enough at a thing, and she got to meet him. That way, the whole family get to meet him one day and he's telling me that you got to do this, you got to do that, right. Yeah, he hates when I do that voice of a sorry baby. I know you're gonna hear this but, kick you.
Speaker 2:He's gonna kick my ass like he really is.
Speaker 1:But when you didn't stop, I, I was just recording. I didn't realize You're going to get me in trouble with that. No, no dinner for you. Yeah, no joke, I love his meals.
Speaker 2:His meals are delicious. So after that was done, his mom said he's right for you.
Speaker 1:That was it Seal of approval.
Speaker 2:That's pretty much so. Finally, when we were getting married in the summer of 2012, uh, he came over and we decided we were going to go see my parents in florida. Yeah, and it was a whirlwind tour. We went there, spent a couple of days with them and when we were coming down the escalator, we could see the you know, the, the short, the bad shorts of an old person, and I'm like. I'm wearing. Now my turn.
Speaker 1:Your turn, my turn to wear the tacky shorts.
Speaker 2:And they really. I said there they are. And so as soon as we got off the escalator, mom went to go rub and hug him and all that stuff. And dad went to go hug him and she looked at me and went you can go get the luggage. I was like mom. So I knew, I knew he says she, she wanted to meet him so bad in person because she saw what he was doing to keep me sane during the divorce thing and keep me going.
Speaker 2:And so after that we flew up to new England and we flew up to Massachusetts and it was weird because the hometown I grew up in, the clerk, was a friend of my mother's. So we did that and some of my high school friends came to see the ceremony or came to congratulate us. My brother and my sister and my nephews came around to witness it all and it was just a civil ceremony at the end of the like on a Friday evening. So it was. We just simply done because I didn't want to do a church wedding. I knew that wasn't going to happen. Right, right after I got married in 2012, I ended up, uh. I ended up, uh, quitting my job as a music minister right at one of the local catholic churches um that's awesome.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. So now that've come full circle with your husband now y'all been together since the dawn of days he's going to kill you. Since y'all been married since the dawn of days, since dinosaurs roamed Was y'all's first pet a triceratops? No, I'm kidding, it was a pterodactyl. It was a pterodactyl. I could see it For some reason. I can see just you riding on it. Yeah, pretty much. You even freaked out the dog a bit.
Speaker 2:Sorry, there buddy.
Speaker 1:He's afraid of me now, Now that we're fast forward we're 2025. We've gotten to play for a little bit here and there on it, which we'll talk about it on the next episode here. So prepare for that one on that episode. What advice could you give adults now who are coming into their adulthood, so from 18 and up? What advice could you give them now to help them out in their life? What piece of advice could you give them?
Speaker 2:The most practical one. Monitor your finances. Don't extend your credit too much. We had to, like I said, I had to dig myself out of a financial nightmare after the divorce. I would say pick your commitments carefully. It's one thing to have night flings and all that kind of stuff. It's all about the quick hit and the parties and the multiple partners and all that stuff Sometimes sometimes depends on what you want to do. But understand that anything you want is going to take investment. It's going to take investment and if you are of the mindset that it needs to be handed to you on a silver platter for you to do anything, that's, that's not. I'm a baby boomer, right, so you're hearing a lot of people are gonna go okay, boomer, um, but I'm of the, I'm of the generation that you worked for, everything you got right and so you know, instant gratification, which seems to be the big thing now, is only a temporary fix.
Speaker 2:It's only a temporary thing. Working on a relationship for a long time, um, and knowing where everybody is in your dartboard right, in other words, stewart is right there in the middle on the, on the bullseye, and then boys that are collared to me are probably in the next next ring, and then close friends like yourself are there too, right, I mean, I would, I would carla you if I, if I could. But no, you've already spoken for so many other places. So, and the polyamory thing you have to understand and respect those if you are doing a polyamorous relationship. It is a spider web and you have to make sure that all these nodes understand who's got a vested interest in you god for real.
Speaker 2:Well, this is the thing, and polyamory is actually, for me, I think it's more natural than monogamy, and the thing is it does take maturity. So I mean to go back to the question if you're 18 to 21 or those really young ages, you're still working on your maturity. Right, it's going to take a while. Guys, be patient with yourself. You're going to fuck up. You're going to do stuff. God God, I'm just lucky. My fuck ups were before the internet. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:You know, we still in that page. Aaron, doesn't matter what age you are, we're still going to have those fuck ups.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, I still have them. Yeah, we still have them. Some of the things I just said, stuart's going to say I fucked up.
Speaker 1:I think one of the main things that I've learned over the years in my last five or six podcasts that I've had over the, you know you can learn and grow from them, because I remember some things that I've said to you as well, and I know that calling out people and doing certain things and whatnot can be detrimental to a lot of people. But I do those call outs for reasons, because it's like you need to pay attention to what you're doing, what you're going on, because if you're not paying attention to anything that what is going on in today's life, and it takes an episode or somebody to do it live, to put you in the limelight, because that's where you want to be right and you've been called out on. That's where the, that's where people are just like, oh shit, you know, like or they play the victim, they play the victim.
Speaker 2:So it's like you.
Speaker 1:You can't play the victim forever. You've got to realize that what you're doing. I know that I might fall for some things here and there, and I I've actually come out of the woodwork since I look I've apologized. Here's this, here's that I vote up to it in writing.
Speaker 2:Yeah uh, if you go to fat life, I've just recently released a collection of writings oh, I saw that about where we'll talk about where things went wrong with several of the boys that are no longer with me, and most of the time it was me fucking up right, or it breaks down to three things either I fucked up, which is the norm, or they did something that was egregious or stewart for some reason, got offended by them and out they went right. And as soon as he vetoes them, I by default, like a christmas light, have got to say look, it's kind of awkward to try to play with you somewhere else. He's, he's, let me do that. But then he knows who I'm going to play with. He's kind of like, well, okay, if you awkward to try to play with you somewhere else, he's, let me do that. But then he knows who I'm going to play with. He's kind of like, well, okay, if you want to go to that. He doesn't want to know that I'm playing with the person who's seeing them.
Speaker 2:Right, there's even some people. He's forbid me to have contact with Right.
Speaker 1:I'm not one of them.
Speaker 2:No, you're not. Obviously, you come over for dinner all the time. Oh that I haven't stepped on anybody's toes either. No and no, you wouldn't, because you're a little more mature, I mean. But there's some people that I can play with outside of the outside of the house and that's fine.
Speaker 2:You know he's like, he's great with that. But there's other people's like I don't even want you having contact with them, right them, block them and all that stuff. So it's like you know it's you. It can be awkward when that happens, but yeah, those are the three things, but most of the time it was me fucking up or learning life lessons.
Speaker 2:I mean my very first boy in the stories it's called Nella. I call him Nella and it was because I was so busy being a title holder for the first time and taking care of what my needs were, forgetting. As a dominant and as the daddy, I need to be watching out for my boy meeting his needs right. And when he succeeded me in the title uh, of mr sister, leather is the very last one um, he didn't really want to do a lot of it and I got very critical publicly about it instead of talking to him privately. You know we always say praise in public, criticize in private, right, and I kind of did the opposite. So that, along with the fact that he had other influences going on, and for anybody that wants to know something about all the weird names in there, you know like I call him Nella on here, but if you look at the spelling and put it backwards, then you'll see what the real name is.
Speaker 1:Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Speaker 2:All the names are spelled backwards on purpose so they can't be tracked or traced or anything like that. Or tagged by mistake and fet life. And all of a sudden, if this person has a fet life, I got like, oh shit, cat's talking about me. I was like well, I'm talking the truth, or at least the way I saw it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your perspective of the truth, right but I what I did is I owed up to things. It goes back to what you first said. I've not only owed up to and spoke about the stories, I've written them down so they're in writing and people are seeing what I'm displaying it and that's kind of as a leader in the community. It's kind of like I've got to do that kind of stuff and be transparent to a point right about stuff and, you know, not walk around like I am perfect because I want to earn my wear cap every day, and there are days I just look at myself and I go what the hell, were they thinking?
Speaker 1:There's not too many masters left.
Speaker 2:Some of the masters have moved away from town, the ones that covered me, me. It's very sad. Going back to the opening thing about masculinity, unfortunately one of my dear mentors and his wife and their subs all had to move to another state because they're afraid, because some of them are trans. They're afraid to, uh, they're afraid to stay in texas, so they moved to a blue state yeah and I that's fair, fair enough, and I get it.
Speaker 2:It's very fair. I understand that, but it's a very sad thing that I don't have that mentor in town anymore that I could go and drive to and say hey look, I know you're another master and I'm supposed to have it all together now as a master too. But I really need advice on this, right.
Speaker 1:Right, right, you know, I get it.
Speaker 2:Just understand, guys, that the leaders in our community no matter what your title is for them or what they're doing, your title holders, your presidents of any groups and all this stuff they need sometimes the support back when they're always having to do stuff. I'm thinking of people that are in charge of stuff.
Speaker 1:Especially youngsters, because we know we 18, 19, 20, 21 to 24 years old, we we forget about them. Sometimes we forget that they, they want to join in on the fun too as well, and when you're doing things that are like at a club, that's 21 and up and they're excluded, they, they just want to be able to have fun because they're already in adulthood or 18. But a lot of us don't really play with 18, 19, 20, because they can't go to the bar, they can't go.
Speaker 1:They can't go to the bar and meet us because everything is 21 and up, which I get, which I get. Right, because it's like that's why the dungeons are so popular. Yeah, because it's just like you know, you want to be able to play with them, but we also forget that they're also human beings too. They need they. They're looking for mentorships. And it's crazy because I've always find doms 18, 19, 20 that are just like oh, I'm, I'm dominant.
Speaker 1:I've been doing this since I was 15. I'm like okay, great, in order for you to be more of a dom in this time and age, but your age is at now we need to kind of, you need a mentorship as somebody to get you to where you need to be in baby steps. I can introduce you to a few doms and whatnot, and masters too as well, that can kind of help you and guide you along the way. That is great. If you think that you are a dom person, that you can do what you're doing, we've got to make a name for yourself and you have to show your skills, because, just because you're here in this in this day and age, you have to show your skills.
Speaker 2:In this day and age you have to show your skills.
Speaker 2:Oh, and when somebody is that young and claiming they're a master or a dom or all that other kind of stuff it's like. First of all, I don't want to hear about experience when you were a teenager, that's technically getting into some really interesting taboo stuff. Taboo stuff that's even taboo for the BDSM community. But when you call yourself that, are you able to prove your worth with your techniques and your abilities and stuff like that. I'm not trying to diss somebody who's young. They may be a fast burner, they may be a fast learner and I know young people that are doing very well at that stuff. And it doesn't also mean on the other side that just because somebody is in their antique ages like me, with no replacement parts available, that we automatically know everything All right.
Speaker 2:It is a matter of. I mean, I've been doing kink for about 25 years. I know from the turn of the century because I remember from the turn of the century.
Speaker 2:But I was doing stuff that even in a place like that, like a nudist party or something like that, that had a playroom right, I not only was wanting to have, you know, sex and all that kind of stuff, but I was wanting to paddle people or flog them or right and do all that kind of stuff and play a little rough and slap and tickle. So it was like I was always the kinky one. They were like I don't know if I want to play.
Speaker 1:You know he's cute, but he wants to spank me there's, there's a lot of there's a lot that goes into it, though, but yeah, on there, so we'll save that one for the next, our next episode here for freaky friday oh, so we get to talk dirty on freaky friday.
Speaker 2:We get to talk dirty, oh yes, oh yes.
Speaker 1:So this is behaving um, and I appreciate you coming on to the mature mish of uh cat and you've been uh a hoot and you've been amazing um on being on here and I know that you were on a previous uh youtube video. Where were you? Where were you? That was that was.
Speaker 2:That was uh. Ltj reads um so shout out to him yeah, shout out, yeah, absolutely shout, because he's my iml brother. I love him because he ended up being contestant number one he lost it. When the glitter came out during the number ceremony and he realized he was number one, the look on his face was the face crack of the century.
Speaker 1:That's fucking awesome.
Speaker 2:But Lewis, or LTJ reads he does a show called Throwing Light and his motto is if you're not throwing light, you're not acting right. And that's true because he's trying to show positive things as well and to meet him, he's to meet him in person. He's absolutely a sweetheart. I mean, I know him, him and I have had some conversation. Like I've had conversations when I'm with you, I've had conversations with Lewis as well. Right, and this is another thing about our community. It isn't always about the clothes. It isn't always about the clothes it isn't always about the bdsm and the play.
Speaker 2:It isn't always about throwing the boy in the sling and everything else like that. It's a lot of times about the connection, the relationships, the one-on-one conversations, a lot of times over coffee or a hookah or a cigar right. Those are the big ones.
Speaker 1:I like the hookah ones especially the hookah ones are always fun, especially when it was me and you we were talking on it and all that stuff. Oh dear God. So we can find you on there and everything. And where can everyone find you at? On social media?
Speaker 2:On social media. The biggest place to find me is FetLife, because I really hide it there. It's Kat underscore Artemis, and Artemis is spelled like the goddess of the hunt, so C-A-T underscore A-R-T-E-M spelled like the goddess of the hunt, so cat underscore a r, t, e, m, I s. Uh, cat and artemis are capitalized. You can find me on facebook, but in this last year I have not posted anything original. I've been liking things and I've been adding comments here and there, and there's a reason why because I haven't reached the year in the day yet since I lost my job, and so this whole year I have been not posting anything other than sharing something once in a while. But if you look, there's no original postings of my own there. Yeah, which?
Speaker 1:made it. You know you made it very hard to share everything with you. I'm just like I need you to share and post because I need more questions, more people that's why I need you to do it.
Speaker 2:I'm just like on groups, groups, but I didn't say anything because what's going to happen is weirdly enough. Um, the friday of austin kink weekend will be a year and a day, the first day I officially was told I can't go back and be a teacher. Really, my official letter that I received, uh, after the whole crap happening, I went to school on the Tuesday and my principal called me in and asked me if I knew who this person was, and they blocked her off of there. And then by the middle of Tuesday, people were calling, blowing up my phone, saying do you know what's going on? Do you know what's going on? And I'm having to try to text them because I'm teaching.
Speaker 2:And so HR meets with me on Tuesday afternoon and just tells me that they're aware of this and all that stuff. Show the picture that she's posting circles. They have it blown up, they circle the patch that says suck my dick on it. And then they say, okay, we'll go home, we'll contact you, but they wait until Tuesday night to tell me don't come to work in the morning and so we'll get back with you. And so go all day on wednesday wondering what the fuck are they going to do? That is horrible. And then they wait until 5 30 on wednesday to say we're going to give you your letter. You need to come to the hr office. And I told them okay, call me when it is actually in print and ready to be served. That's not waiting for signatures, right? I told them, I literally want to come in, get the business done and get.
Speaker 1:I don't want to sit in a waiting room to and we're going to pause right there for a to be continued there, because we're going to go on that with there for more of a freaky friday on our podcast. So tune in more with kat artemis here with us on the mature mischief podcast I he is definitely our first host here on the podcast here and I can't wait to have him more and more other people to come onto the podcast to share their experiences with being an adult in the community and also being the LGBT member, or even just a member in general, of being just an adult itself, and I appreciate you so much for coming in. So thank you so much, I appreciate that. And tune in on Friday for Freaky Friday for more of Kat Artemis here on my Mature Mischief podcast. I am your host, jesse James, and Cat is my co-host today, just time-varying for filling in for Sister D aka DD. So, dd, I hope you're listening to the podcast. We miss you, girl. Come back on here and we need to get you back, girl.
Speaker 2:Love you.
Speaker 1:Bye.
