Mature Mischief podcast
Greetings, Gremlyns!
Join us on the Mature Mischief podcast with your Host Jesse James and Co-Host Dee Dee.
Embark on a journey filled with mishaps, awkward moments, and adulting wins. Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod along with every episode!
Ready to embrace the chaos of adulting and find solace in shared experiences? Let the Mature Mischief Podcast guide you through the ups and downs of life.
Don't miss out on the genuine hilarity that comes with being a grown-up. We'll show you how to turn mundane moments into comedic gold!
Mature Mischief Podcast: Because growing up may be tough, but finding humor in it is always a joy! Tune in now!
Mature Mischief podcast
Mischief Goes Global
Numbers don't lie – and they're telling us something amazing. Our little podcast born in Texas has spread to 47 countries across the globe! From Singapore to Saudi Arabia, people are tuning in to hear our unfiltered friendship and random tangents.
This special stats episode breaks down exactly where our listeners come from, with some surprising revelations. Singapore has claimed the #2 spot with nearly 100 listeners, overtaking Canada and trailing only the United States. We're stunned that people around the world choose to spend their time with us, especially given that we can't return the favor due to language barriers. There's something profoundly humbling about knowing someone in Malaysia, Japan, or Brazil is connecting with our conversations.
The data reveals some fascinating patterns about how you're listening too. Spotify dominates as our top platform, accounting for half of all streams. Android users consistently outnumber iPhone listeners – bucking typical podcast trends. And yes, we see you twelve people listening through Amazon Echo (what exactly are you doing while we're playing in the background?). Beyond numbers, this episode showcases what makes our friendship work: brutal honesty, petty revenge involving ice cream, and debates about whether sighs are really "mouth farts." Our commitment to consistency means new episodes dropping at midnight several days a week, with plans to make our growing catalog more navigable for new listeners.
Whether you've been with us from episode one or just discovered us today, thank you for making Mature Mischief part of your week. Tell a friend about us – especially if they live in a country not yet on our listener map! Rate, review, and let's keep growing this global community of mischief makers together.
Platforms
Breather break
what's up, gremlins? Welcome back to another podcast. My name is jesse james. I hope everyone's doing it and doing it well. You know the drill. This is the mature mischief podcast. Real quick, get that.
Speaker 2:Sigh out that whole whole built up side throughout the entire week.
Speaker 1:My size are like my farts, just got to get them out really quickly and long Stretch it out.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:It really, is it really?
Speaker 2:is. Your sighs are like your farts. My sighs are like my farts.
Speaker 1:My mouth farts, depending on who you're asking. That is horrible. Well, I know it, you know it. The whole world fucking knows it. I like saying my name twice. I am your host, jesse James.
Speaker 2:And I am your co-host, Dee Dee.
Speaker 1:Dee, dee. What it do. What it do, baby girl, people are going to come up, hey, baby girl. People are going to come up and be like, hey, baby girl, no, no, no, no, don't do it, don't say it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be like what's her face? Baby bowler from Mystery man when what's his face comes up Nope, nope, nope, nope.
Speaker 1:Didi. Yes, you know what time it is. I do. It's shenanigans, it's shenanigans, yeah, shenanigans, shenanigans, nosferatu Shenanigans. I bring you some news from beyond the grave. We shall go over the stats of the Mischief Podcast. No, really, we are going to go over some facts. You know it's one of the it's. We're trying to do this thing where we're trying to be consistent, like every single day, like trying to get something new out right, we're having our Monday woes. We're having our hump day Wednesdays. We have our freaky Friday sessions, then we have our shenanigans on Saturdays. Yeah, thinking about have our shenanigans on Saturdays. Yeah, thinking about changing our shenanigans to a Sunday.
Speaker 2:How oh?
Speaker 1:Because you have Friday, nothing on Tuesday, wednesday, something on Thursday. We have Friday, and then Friday and Saturday are pretty close to each other, it's the weekend.
Speaker 2:It's the weekend, why not?
Speaker 1:Why not?
Speaker 1:But, we'll see, but everyone's in church so Everyone's in church and you guys have games on game nights on sundays but yeah, we always record ahead of time so it really wouldn't matter, touche, yeah, so, anywho, let's give you some status, let's give you some updates, uh, because you know we've always done updates before in the past and we haven't done an update in a good minute, just to kind of let you know where we're at and where the fans are at and where they're all listening to from all across the world. And we're going to give you something from the last 10 episodes where everyone has been listening to for the most part. So we, in the last 10 episodes, we are in total of seven territories, uh, once in the united states, the other ones in sweden, ireland, canada, united kingdom, india and saudi arabia saudi arabia trips me out, yeah it really does.
Speaker 1:We have one person there. India is one person too, as well. In the last 10 episodes, we've been in a total of 20 cities overall, san antonio, of course, being the top dog always being there for us. San antonio, thank you. What's up? What's going on? San antonio?
Speaker 2:uh, we have uh lulea, norbotten county that's actually I don't even know where that is me either.
Speaker 1:I'll just look it up. Uh, ennis Texas Colleen, does that say meth?
Speaker 2:It's cloney.
Speaker 1:Cloney.
Speaker 2:Cloney meth, cloney meath.
Speaker 1:Something like that Forest City, perry Sound.
Speaker 2:Prineville, dallas, texas, austin, texas.
Speaker 1:We've got a lot. I'm not even going to try to attempt talking about these cities. We heard what happened with uh, with malaysia.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're not doing that that will never not be funny malaysia, fucking.
Speaker 1:Hey, dude, I swear, fuck you, fuck you. So in the last episode, of course, we've hit that. Now we want to talk about all episodes, all across the land and the nations of the world.
Speaker 2:That's actually pretty good I was gonna say that's actually kind of awesome yeah, that was actually kind of good.
Speaker 1:I like that. That was awesome, okay, so we are in 47 countries and territories too as well, united States being number one, of course, with 1,231 listeners in the United States.
Speaker 2:Insane.
Speaker 1:Singapore with 96.
Speaker 2:Singapore is number two. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 1:Because I think before it was Canada that was number two, but Singapore.
Speaker 2:Singapore is outranked.
Speaker 1:Everyone else yeah, and France. Is third, france is third, you guys, yeah, so we love this, we really do, I do, I do.
Speaker 2:Because I trip out on this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think it's insane. Okay, and I had discussed this with Bestie here prior. I think it's crazy. Maybe it's just because me and I'm a limited, educated American right.
Speaker 1:I think we're all limited.
Speaker 2:I know that English is the language around the world right. But there are people. Obviously they have their own languages. So when they listen in to an American podcast, they can understand it for the most part, because English is one of the main languages around the world. So they can understand it. And for us, we can't just tune in to some random country and be like I wonder what one of their podcasts is like, and listen in because we, unless we're educated on that particular language, we don't know what the hell they're saying Exactly.
Speaker 2:We can't. We can't just listen in the way they can listen to us. So for me, I think it's crazy that there are these people in other places in the world that are amazing and awesome and beautiful. They've got their own lives and they're legit sitting wherever they're sitting and they're listening to us two just talk a bunch of shit all the time.
Speaker 1:I think that's awesome. Yeah, so this is like the mature mischief. We've always catered to a lot of adults like 18 and up. That's pretty much it. Yeah, and if you have your kids listening to us, why we are not meant for teenagers or maybe teenagers but but it's just it's so questionable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not like I.
Speaker 1:I'm very vulgar, this is so weird, but I know kids are gonna be like oh, my parents said worse. I mean shame on you, but in so a lot of the stats we are getting from it is coming from Buzzsprout, because we are on buzzsproutcom Mature Mischief Podcast and of course we do have the two queer podcasts too as well, with Styler, mr Honeycunt Love it. But Singapore is definitely number two on our list, which is really amazing. So shout out to every single one of y'all that have listened to us we, so they go down the list. Number one, of course, is united states, number two singapore. Three, france. Number four, canada. Number five, sweden. Number five, sweden. Number six United Kingdom. Number seven is Ireland. Number eight is India, number nine is Brazil and number 10 is South Africa.
Speaker 2:Of course, oh, okay, beyond that, we got Japan.
Speaker 1:Japan, ukraine, ukraine, new. Zealand.
Speaker 2:Bangladesh, australia, saudi Arabia.
Speaker 1:Germany, philippines, mexico.
Speaker 2:Egypt, colombia, italy, netherlands, guyana, jamaica, united Arab Emirates Emirates.
Speaker 1:I think so.
Speaker 2:St Pierre. Huh, where's that at Barbados? Yeah, that one. I can't even attempt Chile, Bermuda, Morocco.
Speaker 1:We have one person in.
Speaker 2:Malaysia, you have a Malaysian fan. Yes. Cayman Islands, pakistan, nigeria, finland, portugal, ecuador, belize, bosnia that's insane.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we are pretty much everywhere Insane Singapore, Singapore, ADA people and they are literally just in the city alone. One, two, three, four.
Speaker 2:Y'all are ranked number five in listening to us. One through four is ranked in our own state.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which would be San Antonio, dallas, austin and Ennis.
Speaker 2:Ennis, ennis yeah.
Speaker 1:So Corpus Christi Bro, corpus Christi Bro, corpus Familia, family, the fuck. Only 27 of y'all have been listening to us the whole episodes Fucking haters.
Speaker 2:Dang.
Speaker 1:Bishop Texas.
Speaker 2:You 27 are technically not haters. Y'all are the ones that are supporting.
Speaker 1:Corpus haters, don't listen to us, it's our hometown 27 of them, do they? Y'all are the ones that are supporting Corpus haters Don't listen to us 27 of them do. They're not haters?
Speaker 2:Hello Yo, san Antonio, dude Well.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, it's good to see this like where we're at. On there, I'm actually kind of excited because we hit Australia, and that was my goal was to hit in there, in particular, because I do love Australia, so it's great. It's great, but yeah, so overall we're in like 47 countries and we're in about 195 different cities overall. So I can't even give you a total amount like how many listeners, listen to us.
Speaker 1:This is off of one platform yeah, this isn't even the collective information from everywhere else um, we can look at apps and devices in the last five episodes. So far, like the web browser has been the main thing, spotify literally has been like the number two for us I like how apple and facebook apple podcast and facebook are literally tied tied, yeah, and then the apple tunes. I heart radio pocketcast, amazon echo. Literally somebody's listening to us on their amazon echo that's kind of cute.
Speaker 2:It is kind of cute. Kind of cute because it's like oh, what are you doing, what are you doing at home while you're legit listening to us?
Speaker 1:I probably haven't sucks that is weird. No, it's not, yeah, it is how seriously.
Speaker 2:How are you giving me in the moment when these two fools are just in your ear the whole time?
Speaker 1:why I've been fucking reading a book at the same time, because the person just needed to get off. I'm like, okay, do what you gotta do, I don't judge you, do you, do you? I've watched dragon ball z getting plowed. So the fuck you talking about god. Do you like this episode? Oh, this episode's so great, right how you doing back there, I'm doing good, okay, keep going. You're doing, do you feel? Oh no, I feel, it's just, I'm, this is good, I mean you good, but this is better.
Speaker 2:Oh ouch.
Speaker 1:Not ouch, they're like being degraded. We'll save that for another episode. Top devices so far have been the web browsers. The other one has been iPhones, that's Android oh sorry, android, my bad. And then, of course, the other 60% is just mobile period. Yeah, so that's just in the last five episodes. The last 10 episodes have been Android, and then 74% of everything else. Spotify is still coming in number two. Web browsers are still coming in on the very top Apple Podcasts, facebook iHeartRadio, apple Tunes, pocket Casts, listen Notes and Amazon Echo top apple podcast facebook, iheart radio, apple tunes, pocketcast listen notes and amazon echo, which is great. Now we're doing all times. I know all of you are probably going jesse, slow down, we don't know what the fuck you're saying me either these are all the devices people use to listen to us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pretty much, that's all.
Speaker 1:So out of all time Spotify has been literally legit has been our top.
Speaker 2:Literally almost 50%.
Speaker 1:Almost 50% of our listeners are coming from Spotify.
Speaker 2:That's cool.
Speaker 1:Web browser. Apple Podcasts is number three. Facebook, iheartradio, pocket, amazon, echo 12 people are listening to us. Uh, apple tunes. Uh, somewhere unknown, chromecast, a couple unknowns, a couple of them from apple apps. Uh, listen notes, the buzz sprout website, three of y'all, which is great and we greatly appreciate you listening in mobile safari, mobile Safari CastBox, google Podcasts, instagram, amazon Music Unknown and Player FM.
Speaker 2:Interesting.
Speaker 1:Devices so far have been Androids at the very top, windows computers coming in second Apple iPhone users. I'm kind of surprised by Apple iPhone users because normally they outbeat androids and I feel that good for good for android for down that actually it's always been that way, ever since we started it.
Speaker 2:I'm surprised at apple because since season two uh-huh, they did shoot up because they weren't really non-existent Android has always beat out Apple at least on our stats. But this past season or this second season, I've noticed that Apple has come up fast.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm scared of. It's getting a customer that says oh yeah, I listened to this really stupid funny podcast and it's ours. I'm just going. Oh really, I've never heard of them stupid funny podcast and it's ours. I'm just going. Oh really, I've never heard of them. That's always like what? Like oh shit, bestie, they're really stupid. They make me feel smart really well I wouldn't be surprised, though I wouldn't be surprised we can't all be awesome geniuses, no, so I mean, I'm still smarter than one of the bodyguards, but in here that's nor here nor there, shady bitch uh we've had a.
Speaker 1:We've had a lot of good episodes over the. You know all time Like it's been phenomenal to have so many listeners to have. I know we're in the double digits within, like the teens, the 20s the 30s, some of them are in the 60s. We can't wait to get up into the triple digits. Just for one on there, just for having y'all listening to all of us. And overall, from the last time, we've only had 1587 over the past two years. No, over a year and a half, almost a year and a half.
Speaker 2:Almost.
Speaker 1:Almost. So we can't thank y'all enough for all of this. Like me and Didi have been pushing like crazy. We have been pushing like crazy for the podcasts and everything for this, and we're not. We're not pushing just because so we can become famous. We're pushing because we want more people to listen to us, because, um, I feel we have a lot to say and, I think, a lot of people who can relate to us, and there are some people who can't, you know, and which is fine, that's cool. You know, I get it. People are gonna be like oh, they're stupid, they don't know what they're talking about.
Speaker 1:We can't be everybody's cup of tea, and that's totally fine, it's fine, because there's tea sometimes where I don't even like to drink myself. So hey, whatever, I'm not judging. There's some this out there. Period tea's a choice tea's is delicious to most, to most okay, almost all teas almost exactly because there are some that I'm just like absolutely.
Speaker 2:You know why. You know which ones huh the ones that have licorice root in it won't touch I love licorice root. Disgusting, so good nope, then you should try constant comment right up my alley.
Speaker 1:Nope, actually, I will say we have about two hours and 47 minutes remaining for the podcast to upload. This is the first time that you and I, when it comes to uploading, we've actually almost hit the max. Snap, yeah, that's cool, it's awesome. It's because we're pushing out.
Speaker 2:We're pushing out more episodes.
Speaker 1:Episodes all the fucking time and we're going to keep pushing on that. So today has just been focused on trying to get pillows, tomorrow will probably be the podcast and all the other websites after I go see my doctor podcast and all the other websites after I go see my doctor. Uh, but for the most part, we just been man. We've. I think our shenanigans once or sometimes are hit and miss for a lot of people, which is great, you know, but uh, for the most part it's been good. Um, cad's been killing it a lot lately too as well, but I wish cat would share more of his podcast. So, um, so, yeah, cat, if you're listening, fucker, uh, share. I know I called you fucker and I know you're not gonna like that. But, dude, come on, get your ass back in the game and get your pussy back up. Dude, step it up like, come on. Uh, no excuses.
Speaker 1:So, uh, but we're here, we are like I said, we have been on all platforms. Thus far, the only platform that we're not on is literally YouTube, because YouTube has been a little bitch. Podcast, index, podcast, addicted uh, pod chaser, pocket cast, uh, deezer, uh, listen notes, player, fm and, of course, if you have any apple stuff we have on. Uh oh, excuse me, overcast castro, cast box, good pods and true fans. Those are all our platforms that we have, which is a fucking phenomenal, but anywho, that is that's. That's all our stats, and I can't be more appreciative of every single one of y'all tuning in and sharing our podcast and tuning in every single time and those who continue to listen to us non-stop.
Speaker 2:I appreciate y'all so fucking mom, yeah, amazing y'all are amazing in your own fucking right.
Speaker 1:Uh, I need to do probably a flashback sundays flashback sundays yeah, just sharing all the old episodes for all the Sundays, but it's gonna be kind of hard because that's a lot of fucking episodes, but I do it. I am gonna do something. That's gonna be pretty outrageous and it's gonna take up a lot of my time. So what I'm gonna do is I'm so those of you know that you can actually look at all the episodes I'm gonna have a list of all the episodes and this is going to be on the page, and each of those episodes are going to have a link to the download. So if you want to go listen to a particular podcast from the past, you can, and I'm going to just keep adding that and that's going to be pinned to our set of so so you can kind of have an idea of all the episodes that you're listening to and everything that you want to.
Speaker 1:It's going to be fucking a lot, but I think I can do it. I can do it, that's not an issue, and I'll probably post that up every Sunday. So all our new episodes and everything that's coming up, all our episodes do come out at midnight, midnight on Monday, midnight on Wednesday, midnight on Friday, midnight, midnight on monday, midnight on wednesday, midnight on friday and midnight on saturday. So it gives people those who can't sleep that want to listen to at night they have something to listen to. So, yeah, and I know I missed a few episodes to do that.
Speaker 2:so my bad, my bad and for those of you that get up early in the morning, it's already ready for you yeah time of the day.
Speaker 1:Listen to our fucking bullshit dude. Listen to us tell how much fucking people are stupid yeah, that's totally enticing you're gonna tell me I'm wrong no exactly, but uh, no, I do. I mean. Mean, it's fine calling people stupid, of course it is.
Speaker 2:Especially when I tell you you're fucking stupid Because you're petty about it.
Speaker 1:It's not Okay. I was petty with the ice cream one time. You deserve that.
Speaker 2:I did not, the hell I did. Who went drinking without me? Uh, how about it was with my co-workers right after?
Speaker 1:and what am I top liver?
Speaker 2:are you my co-worker? Yeah, I hear I am your co-worker and your best friend, so when we clock out we could totally go and get drinks. Bitch.
Speaker 1:Like hey, do y'all want to get to know my bestie? He's a little freaky but he can come over. He's actually really cool people.
Speaker 2:And in all honesty, it was literally as we're walking out the door.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I honestly asked my SLT. I was like do you have a ride? Do you need me to give you a ride? And he was like, oh wait, are you going to chili's with us? And I was like, oh, y'all are going to chili's. He's like, yeah, he's like this is. I was like, oh, okay, sure, like it was literally last minute, and then at that we couldn't even go to chili's because they were gonna. We didn't want to be the a-holes that show an hour right before close oh yeah, we're like, yeah, we're not gonna do that to people.
Speaker 2:So we switched and we went to wing daddy's instead, because they're open a little bit later. So we're like, okay, we felt a little more comfortable going there.
Speaker 1:So just tell me, you hate me.
Speaker 2:You're those people. You should totally do a tick tock, Like my best friend said she hates me.
Speaker 1:I did not. I just said I went with, I did drink. It's the same thing.
Speaker 2:I went to drink with my co-workers, yeah, so I went to go drink and have some bonus swings with my co-workers and last minute decision and I just posted on social media like I always do.
Speaker 2:This bitch here decides to take it hella personal and and later that day he goes to my favorite ice cream place, which I introduced him to via my sidekick, and he orders my favorite frickin' ice cream, takes a picture and sends it to me personally and I was like, hey, is that my rico suave jackhammer? He's like yeah, and I was like I knew it. And he was like that's because you went, uh, out drinking with your friends without me. And I'm like so he calls me on the phone and tells me to make. He repeats it to make sure I I get the message and I'm like, oh, so this is you being a petty bitch, yeah, yeah and I'm just like oh by the way, it's really good thanks, bestie, for being a total bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're welcome yeah, you're welcome this is.
Speaker 2:This is like the dynamic between us guys, this is a dynamic. I'm like what, mind you? You guys heard what he said in the beginning. You totally deserved it. I would love to hear the gremlin's opinions on whether or not I truly deserved it um, no, yeah, no yeah no, yeah, nope, what I'm gonna say? That dude's an a-hole. Yeah, he is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah wait, you want to fight about it we don't.
Speaker 2:We don't need to go there, petty betty, we don't need to go there and that's fine and you're right, we don't have to go there.
Speaker 1:But but you went there you said it I did not yeah, you did I did not.
Speaker 2:I shared my shit with social media and you took it personally and sent your shit directly to me. I'm like wait what?
Speaker 1:is going on here.
Speaker 2:That was the shit you couldn't have picked a better gif. You couldn't have picked a better one.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, lucius Malfoy.
Speaker 2:And the face he makes when he's saying it.
Speaker 1:You can hear me doing the same thing.
Speaker 2:How dare you?
Speaker 1:I'm just like really, you know, I like me a good wing that fucking, especially on the special days oh, it wasn't there was, yeah, there was no, no because it was on a saturday.
Speaker 2:That's the only shitty thing. Everything was full price. I'm like okay, but it was the only place that was near because, it's right down the street from work and then open long enough for us to not be those a-holes.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's fair. Okay, well, maybe I'm not as bitter as I thought it would be.
Speaker 2:You already did the bitter thing, petty Betty.
Speaker 1:I never said I was going to apologize for it, I just said I didn't expect.
Speaker 2:I don't expect one from you.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to apologize to my partner. Whatever makes you think I apologize, that's what I said.
Speaker 2:I'm not expecting an apology.
Speaker 1:I'm an equal opportunity.
Speaker 2:Equal opportunity a-hole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know what? That's okay. That's okay Because you know that's my problem and I'm okay with that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a you problem.
Speaker 1:Very, very much so.
Speaker 2:Why are you making it mine? I I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:That's a you problem Very, very much. So why are you making it mine? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:If you got butt hurt, you stay butt hurt. That's not my problem.
Speaker 1:I didn't get butt hurt.
Speaker 2:Oh. No, then why did you send me the damn ice cream? Thank you, I loved your face for that second. Yes, if you guys could have seen it on camera, that would have been all my proof. I didn't need you guys to chime in, although it would be awesome, but I didn't need you guys to chime in. His face said everything. I don't need an apology. That face was all I needed.
Speaker 1:That face was got it. Was it all? Got it all that you need? Yep, cause all I want is another baby. Cause all I want is another best friend. Good luck with that. Who else is going to put up with my bullshit?
Speaker 2:Exactly that's what I said.
Speaker 1:Good luck with that.
Speaker 2:Can I sit in on the interviews?
Speaker 1:I have a best friend application. If I told you you were a cunt, how would you feel? That's an ugly word. Next, what if I called you a faggot? That's a very vulgar word to say. Next, I'm just going to repeat those words. What if I called you a cunt? That's not nice. Next, how do you feel about the word faggot, so rude?
Speaker 2:next, that or somebody's gonna give you shit back. You're like no, no, next, no, be like what, why, why, why not okay.
Speaker 1:Who hurt you? You have some underlying issues. Did your mom beat you just?
Speaker 2:kidding. Did you not want them to fight back? We are so morbid this is why the dynamic works.
Speaker 1:This is why the dynamic this is why we're going where we're going you're going, where you're going. Yes, yes, I'm very well aware I know where I'm going, and where I go is where I go if you miss me.
Speaker 2:That's just too fucking bad nope, I'm gonna be over there, you, you think you're gonna be up there bullshit a bow and you're gonna be angry, you're gonna be so angry like uh, no, no, she don't belong there.
Speaker 1:Well, it's either gonna be like I'm gonna be like oh okay, so so you were an actual sweetheart and two. Who in the fuck lie to you?
Speaker 2:oh, so you, so you were, you did take it personally, you did get butt hurt.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so that it was just an ice cream, the fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just an outing with drinks and wings.
Speaker 1:No, I'm first damn it.
Speaker 2:I will always be first In your husband's life, sure.
Speaker 1:Eh, I'm probably second best to him. He don't love me no more that's such a lie he don't love me, he hates me right, he don't love me no more no, do not he's like fuck you. I'm like, okay, such hate, oh my god.
Speaker 2:Conviction he's like fuck you. I'm like okay, such hate, oh my God, such conviction. You're such a drama queen.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not Says who.
Speaker 2:Okay, says the one I'm first. How dare you go without? Okay, it was just an ice cream.
Speaker 1:Leo's priority is always first. We must be around you in your relationship we tip the scales for you every single time hold up. I am the scales bitch I know, that's why I tip your skills. No, I go like this and go DD, no, dd. I'm like go away, go away, peasants.
Speaker 2:Get off my scale. You're imbalancing.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine if it was the actual, like the Greek goddess, where they had to take your heart and balance it and see if it is, I'd be right behind you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you would I would.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you would.
Speaker 2:You'd be like damn you heavy, excuse you, you know you would. You know you would. You know you would I so fucking would step on it, just so it was that much heavier but you know what?
Speaker 1:it wouldn't even go nowhere, can't even cheat the system, no matter how much I step on it I'll be like oh see lies, all lies, you lose, sir, good day you're like see, I was an angel.
Speaker 2:I like how, every time we do shenanigans?
Speaker 1:it's always this, it's always the is it. Yes, that's awesome, it is awesome but it's like we, we know our place. You think it's up there and I'm like no, it's purgatory. Then hell, hello I can't wait.
Speaker 2:I can't wait till these guys get to chime in. I really can't, because I I want input.
Speaker 1:I want more reactions, yeah.
Speaker 2:I really want to know, not that it's going to like Change anything, yeah it doesn't change, but I just want it like oh yeah. Oh yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 1:I wonder how many fucking douchebags this will probably get.
Speaker 2:I mean.
Speaker 1:I'm no douchebag, but I'm like oh, I think Jess is cool because you know, men, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like girl.
Speaker 1:Honey, you do realize, you know Lock and loaded.
Speaker 2:It's not that tree, but okay.
Speaker 1:See.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious though.
Speaker 1:I was like guys, how do you know? It was a bottom. You farted and there was no sound.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right. She made fun of yours. I don't remember what it was. You had said something to make some noise Like. The bottle is what it said and I said, no, it sounds like a tugboat. It was like Ooh that's right.
Speaker 1:I forgot about the tugboat. Holy shit Fuck.
Speaker 2:The foghorn. That's a foghorn. Yes, Sounds like his Jesse's oh dude, fucking, love it.
Speaker 1:I love and hate you at the same time for it. When is my pan going to kick in? Uh 24th, which is in two days. Kudos, I'm not ready for that. An additional $66 will be coming out of my account time to sell that ass it has outlived its expiration date. I am no longer a twink. Nobody wants to pay for a fat bear. I mean, there probably is, though, but like I mean, there's there's something for somebody exactly I'm willing to stoop low. It's all about that money, money, money.
Speaker 2:There's no prize you want a hot body, you want a bull you better work, bitch, you better work.
Speaker 1:This is why I can never work for britney spears. I'm gonna take some time off. You better work, bitch. You want hot body? Yes, but I'm gonna take. Do you want a boogati? Yeah, but I still. Do you want a hot rod? Yeah, so go back to work you want a big mansion you want to party in france?
Speaker 2:you want to live fancy.
Speaker 1:I think I put that somewhere on my Facebook page. I just don't remember what it was you better work, bitch?
Speaker 1:I was like I can't work for Britney Spears because it would be that I think I did the line. But I just do you want a hot body? I mean yes, but what this has to do with job, do you? I mean, yes, but I just want a vacation. You want a big mansion party in france? Okay, fine, I'll go back to work, but do I still get my my day? You better work, bitch work, work, work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's gonna be you shit.
Speaker 1:Brady spirit is working a fucking sex sweatshop. Man shit that would be funny that would be funny.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine everybody's just crying?
Speaker 1:what was that whole like conversion therapy? What is it not conversion therapy? Uh, conservatorship was actually stopping her from doing that weird, can you imagine? Weird, just kidding. Just kidding I'm a brady spirit fan too. Don't, don't hate on me, please don't how many of y'all clutched your pearls? How many of you said and we're getting rid of your fucking gay card like holy shit?
Speaker 2:leave britney alone how many of y'all heard cancel go through y'all's brain right now uh, please don't I'll tell you this you insist, you just insist on getting this canceled somehow, don't you, don't I get pushing the envelope?
Speaker 1:but what is it? Uh, kind of like how it's a kung fu panda don't tell monkey because he's eating no cookies. Don't tell monkey. Don't tell britney, no, it's not her mental health, mental lot. I'll. Actually I did like when she was playing with the knives and dancing with it. That was actually pretty fucking dope. But a lot of people were just like, oh, she's just going through a lot. No, it wasn't. It was actually pretty cool, like I mean, it's no different than playing with swords or nunchucks, bow staff.
Speaker 2:She just at least she was dancing and not hurting herself, I mean I can't imagine how many people are on the edge watching it, like don't, don't cut yourself, don't hurt yourself I am pretty sure they have a dull blade because it didn't look like they've never been sharp.
Speaker 1:All right, so they don't cook like they've never been sharpened.
Speaker 2:Alright, so they don't cook.
Speaker 1:I honestly don't think Britney Spears cooks. I think someone cooks for her. I mean, I'm pretty sure she puts raisins in a potato salad. I don't know. Oh, you're gonna tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:No, that's why I'm laughing, because I'm like down you went, you went with the raisins hey dick, go with the raisins.
Speaker 1:If she ever did listen to, this is one particular shenanigans podcast and she's just like how fucking dare you?
Speaker 2:I believe I meant she's to get on her shit and legit. Have you canceled?
Speaker 1:She's going to throw her knives at me, for sure.
Speaker 2:But these are dull bitch. You think these are dull?
Speaker 1:I should have done that to K-Fed, so anywho, fuck him.
Speaker 2:And you insist.
Speaker 1:I keep going, I keep going, I keep going.
Speaker 2:I'm just it's like sometimes jesse can't help it I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's like it doesn't want to shut off, like where the hell is the off button on this probably my butthole, so I don't speak no more. Uh, wait what?
Speaker 2:r.
Speaker 1:He's a bottom.
Speaker 2:Damn it.
Speaker 1:Where's Rad when you need him?
Speaker 2:Rad Rad, have you heard this?
Speaker 1:Save him.
Speaker 2:Turn him off, please.
Speaker 1:He probably will too. He'll probably punch me, forget him, and in trouble, hey yo, bup, bup, Mushu, bop, mooshu, dude, I'm going to have to. Yeah, I'm going to trim all your hair off. Probably go six.
Speaker 2:That's going to look hilarious.
Speaker 1:No, it's not.
Speaker 2:It is Nah. Is a six even going to do anything?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it will. It'll keep its fur still A six, a six, not going to do anything?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it will. It'll keep his fur.
Speaker 1:Still A six. A six, not going to go a three. That'd be weird If he had like like mattes or matte. If his hair was really matted then yeah, I would have to go lower.
Speaker 2:But His hair isn't matted at all.
Speaker 1:No, I mean I could still brush and keep his hair long though, but it's his paws. I gotta like probably go six on his paws so I can kind of like yeah I need to. I really need to cut his nails, but in you all. Right, that's the end of our shenanigans podcast. I do appreciate y'all listening in to the Mature Mischief Podcast and, as always, I am your host, jesse James.
Speaker 2:And I am your co-host, DeeDee.
Speaker 1:Until we meet again. Moral of the story Hashtag I'm glad Brittany's free. She really is.
Speaker 2:Hashtag y'all are awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hashtag Brittany, we love you. Your songs are my theme songs Toxic womanizer circus. Oops, I did it again.
Speaker 2:I love the list.
Speaker 1:Isn't it amazing?
Speaker 2:Just the title. Even if the person didn't know Brittany songs, I'm pretty sure the question like uh someone told me, like your song is momentizer, you're toxic.
Speaker 1:I'm just like, damn, okay, yeah, you're not wrong you're not wrong okay okay, oh was it. Oh, man, I remember criminal. My sister was in love with that song real quick before we leave because she was in love with the criminal. So that was her songs for my mom awkward because, mama, I'm in love with the dear lord, no no true story, true fucking story. I think my main song is Not a Girl, not Yet a Woman that would be me, but the guy version.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:I'm a slave for you. Yeah, all right, love you. Bye, ciao.
