WHO CARES?!? How the 'Who, What, When, Where, and Why' changes after 40.

Stay GLOSSY!

Life-Gloss.com
IG: @LifeGlossPodcast
TT: @LifeGlossPodcast

Press and Partnerships:
Hillary@Life-Gloss.com

Music by, Mag

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to Life Gloss, a beauty podcast for sassy and seasoned women who have lived life and have a drawer full of lip gloss to prefer.

Audio Only - All Participants: 0:09

Susan, you look awfully fancy this morning. Um, I'm really not. I, you know, I have a drawer full of makeup, so I just decided to dig through it a little bit and just kind of say, all right, maybe I should dig out some of this stuff and start using it. Um, so I have two products on today. Okay. And I hope our audience doesn't mind. I'm doing my makeup while we record because that's what The day is like today. Yeah. It's like a, it's a totally gloomy, rainy Friday and it's been a week. So I. Tossed on a little bit of my Merit cream blush, and, um, Oh, and I may have a touch of Kosas concealer under my eyes because that was pretty bad this morning. And then I put on the Merit lip, and as you know, I really don't wear red lipstick much unless it's like, I don't know, special occasion or whatever, but I just thought, I didn't have time because I knew we had to do this, so, I just put on the Merit cream, little concealer, and tossed on this red lip because I thought, you know what? One of the quickest looks that you can do when you want to look pulled together and you don't have any time is a little bit of color on the cheeks and a little bit of color on the lips and you're out the door. I have nothing else on. So very French chic. Yeah, it's kind of that French chic thing, that French face thing, you know, um, but it was just one of those days I thought, you know, I had done a moisture mask this morning while getting, you know, dressed and whatever. And I just thought my skin looks pretty good. And You know, I don't know. It was so gloomy outside and I just thought I don't want to scare anybody. So I'm going to toss on a red lip today. Throwing caution to the wind, Hillary. Well, I guess I had exactly the opposite. And I'm like, I'm just going to scare the people today. I had, I went to the dermatologist a few days ago and I had, something's frozen, something's burned, something's scraped and. Look at this little blue, pardon, at something blue, like something blue. And then this little friend, I thought I would share with everyone because, you know, I had like some things that needed to be biopsied and I said, oh, you know, while we're here getting the results of those and doing whatever follow up we do. What about this little sunspot that I see that's here and it has kind of a scaly but not It's not raised even or scabby or anything. I just noticed a difference and he goes, oh, we can freeze that. No problem. It's a barnacle under the sea. Yeah, I, I mean, I, okay. I had a barnacle. Okay, mermaid. I, I, and, and I said, is that a medical term? Because e as a me medical aesthetician, that's worked forever. with cosmetic surgeons and dermatologists. They don't use that term when speaking with their clients. I've never heard the term barnacle, but Maybe it's a medical term. Yeah, it's a medical term. Okay. Well, you know what consider me school And like raised and crusty and like those big Those big skin lesions that like people that have tennised and golfed and not worn sunscreen their whole life So I was really surprised that this would qualify as a barnacle. So what's your excuse? Yeah, I don't see you with a racket or a club. I yeah, I don't know. I grew up on a sailboat maybe Or just that convertible you had back in the day. Oh, the one we took to Napa and I drove away from the gas pump with the hose that the hose attached? It was like an episode of Zoolander. Like, it was like, we're in this little car, you're driving, I'm sitting there, and you pull away, and I'm like, yeah, and the man was chasing us. Oh my god, that's so funny. I almost forgot about that story. You, I've never seen you so horrified. I was just like, well, all I could think of was, oh my god, we're gonna explode. Right. Because, Susan, it takes a lot for her to get excited about anything. Kind of. And she was just like, yeah, yeah, that, that was, that was, I was so glad I wasn't like, you know, smoking anything or, you know, that could have been really bad for us, but well, in those days easily could have been, yeah, that was funny now, funny now. Right. Um, so we're going to talk about, you know, aging today and the psychology behind it. I think we named this episode. Who cares? Because I say it. So what do we care about? Yeah, I do. It's one of those expressions that I use a lot. And especially with teens now, I say it all the time. Like, who cares? Who cares? No one's going to notice. Who cares? You know? So I thought, who really does care? So let's talk about this, you know, like it's really healthy airs. I think it's I think it's really healthy and I'd like to hear from our audience. I had always heard as you get older, you get wiser. I wish I knew now, or I wish I knew then what I know now, all of those things. And I think there's a lot of who cares that's liberating in that. And I'm getting to that point. Has anybody else experienced that? Who cares? Yeah, I think, you know, I always think of my dad. He'll be 92, 92 or 93. I don't know, something like that in January. And I always think he always says, you know, who gives a shit? You know, like that's his expression to everything who nobody gives a shit, you know, and. I just think, you know what? Joe's not wrong. Like, nobody really, if you think about it, the only person who really cares is you. I mean, not to sound like free to be you and me here, but nobody really does care. I mean, you're loved ones and you're besties and all, you know, we could go on about this stuff, but as far as beauty goes and as far as our looks go and what we think people perceive us as, nobody really does care. And do we care? Do we care? Do we care if they care? Because there's always going to be somebody that has some random crappy opinion of you, but You know, right. And it's pretty healthy. I think it's extremely healthy. And, you know, I think that beauty starts in the brain. You know, I really do. I think beauty starts in the brain. Um, you and I could have, you know, spend hours talking about clients that we've had and the first thing that they say when you go to even touch their face or you go to work with them is, you know, Oh, I haven't done this. Or, Oh, Oh, don't mind this. Or, you know, we're so like mean to ourselves. And we think that. You see something that I don't see, you know, or like you're saying, you're pointing out your spots when we started, you know, you care about that, but guess what? I didn't really care, meaning I care about you, Hill, but meaning I didn't care enough to say something like, well, there's spots on your face. It's more like, right, you care, but I don't really care, you know, and it's not a negative thing. It's more like a, I'm not bothered, you know, I mean, I'm not bothered by it. I'm, I, it doesn't really, it doesn't make me stop and pause. So that being said that, you know, beauty starts in the brain. I think that, you know, how we perceive ourselves is completely different than how other people perceive ourselves. For example, mentally, I feel 21, but the mirror and my knees, tell me something else. So it's, you know, I talk to my mom about this all the time and she says, Oh, I still feel like I'm in my twenties mentally. Right. Obviously it's a little different. She's older now and you know, and we're all older now, but I think it comes back to that perception, you know, and, um, what we believe is it really perceived, you know, You said something interesting. You said something interesting there. Um, That beauty starts in the brain, and I think that has a lot to do with confidence, and a lot of that, who cares, it's what you think, and what you project onto other people, and you always hear, and I've witnessed, that confident women can Be wrinkly, mismatched hair going every which way, doing unbelievable things that wouldn't make sense, and they're seen as eclectic or romantic or self-possessed or this, that, or the other. Or crazy, right, or crazy, right? Or they have wrinkles or they haven't done Botox or whatever. And it's a confidence. And I think we see that we talk about European women a lot, but I think that's a very European thing. They're just confident. So that starts on the inside and that's a beauty thing. And confidence is the sexiest thing. I'm in Beverly Hills. I see some of the most beautiful, like technically beautiful, the symmetry that this. beautiful women in the world, and they're running around like wet puppies, like, so skittish about their looks because they're so insecure. We live in a city that can breed that. But then, so you'll see this perfect woman walking down the street, a shadow of herself, withdrawn and very timid, and then you'll see this woman that is not all done and plastered and stoned, injected and bloated and she just glows with her head high and exudes this sparkle and next to each other in traditional beauty values one would be considered traditionally beautiful and one might even be considered dare I say haggard but one is clearly more beautiful. I think it's confidence. I do think it's confidence you know speaking of beauty there's wait there's someone who wants to join the call really. Oh, uh, Someone who really thinks she's beautiful all the time. Oh, I know who's coming. I'm here. You're beautiful all the time. Sorry, she was just scratching, so. Yeah. Hi. Gigi, Gigi, Gigi. You say hi to Hillary. Say hi to everybody. Hi, Gigi. Dogs believe they're beautiful. You tell like you're pretty girl. Are you beautiful? Look at her. She's like, yes, yes, I am at all times at all times. I'm beautiful. You know, isn't it funny? It's like, you know, kids think they're believe they're beautiful when they're young. Right. I mean, don't even talk about it. Yeah. Animals think they're beautiful all the time. They don't talk about it. So I think that I'm going to stand by that, that beauty does start in the brain, you know, and it's so easy to say, you know, Oh, we should embrace aging and embrace ourselves. And, you know, I'm not going to sit there and say that like for me, because that's hypocritical. I highlight my hair. I put on some today. I actually look in the mirror. Like I put effort into how I look. I joke and say, Oh, I run around with no makeup, but I do. I care. I care a lot. And I grew up in this industry and I work in this industry like you. So we're not going to sit here through this episode of like, who cares? And Oh, we all just embrace ourselves. And we're off. No, I'm going down in flames and I'm the first one to admit it, you know, time. I think my personal beauty confidence comes from the fact that I love, I enjoy putting effort into my looks. I enjoy working on myself. Um, internally, externally, but at the same time, I really don't care like other people's perception of me, meaning, you know, Oh, I'm, I'm a certain age. I should cut my hair or, Oh, she shouldn't wear that lipstick color, or maybe she didn't wear that outfit. Right. It's, it's the judging that I don't partake in. I really don't care what other people think, and I can honestly say that and anyone that knows me. knows that I really don't, um, or I'd live a very different life and be a different person. I really don't care. Right. But I care about myself and I care about looking good for me and feeling good for me. So that being said, let's go through some of these questions that I sort of Put up for us to kind of talk about and see what our listeners think about this. Um, you know Does it bother us, you know? Caring about the that the called the psychology of aging, you know Does aging actually bother us my answer to that is I think it depends on the day You know, like if I get up in the morning, I'm feeling really good physically and mentally and I get through my meditation and the kids get out the door and, you know, and the husband's, you know, off to work or whatever, you know, I sort of say to myself, today's a good day. I feel good. I look good. So again, beauty starts in the brain, right? If my day starts out, right? I feel good. The other day I called you from the car because, you know, on the way to the Gigi's dog groomer, like, Gigi decides to, like, shit in the backseat and then step in it all over the place and I pull over into a parking lot and here I am cleaning dog poop out of the backseat of a car late for an appointment, you know, it's, it's like, Did I feel really beautiful that day? Did I feel my age? Yes. I felt glamour that day. Did not, it was, yeah, it was pure glamour. It was not a good day. It was like, I mean in the big, in the big picture, this is like stupid and this is such idiotic stuff to even be talking about. But to me in that moment, no. But it doesn't get more real than that. Yeah, it doesn't get more real than that. It didn't feel good. It didn't feel beautiful. It didn't feel special and put together that day. And inevitably it just snowballs, right? You're like, ah. You go to hit reverse, you look in the mirror, you're like, oh, I look terrible. You know? But I didn't, but I felt it, right? Again, beauty starts in the brain. So, that being said, how much do you really care about aging? Is it something that bothers you all the time? Or is it something you've come to peace with? I challenge our listeners to give that a little bit of thought and to realize that it's a, there is a conscious effort that has to be made that Okay, I notice this. How much do I care? How much am I going to care? And what is my position on this going to be? You have to kind of decide. Remember, you're the, you're the hero. You're the main character in your story. And If you decide that you care a lot about this certain thing, then that's going to be the perception that you have. That's going to be the perception that other people have. But we have those critical points where for me, most recently, it's been going to get into my car and the way that my driver's side windows are. And I think because we live on the hit on, on a Hill, if I'm parked outside the way that. I approached the vehicle. The reflection comes from a right about here and it goes up. So imagine putting a mirror here and looking down into said mirror. And I have been catching myself in that. And I think you guys have heard me say before, I don't look like my mother. I went straight to grandmother, like all I see are gels and neck and this, and it can, if the first time I saw it, I was like, this is going to ruin this. It kind of ruined my day. I was like, it's over. I'm old. I look like the before picture in the plastic surgery before and afters. And I just looked haggard and old and defeated and tired. And like, when did that face become my face? Cause I don't feel like that on the inside. Granted, I know very few people are seeing me from that angle, uh, but it was, it was a shock. It took me aback and I had to unwind it a little bit and I had to think, okay, you know what? And that's when I started thinking about European beauty and everything else. And I started thinking, Okay, I'm okay with some wrinkles and some crinkles, but I'm going to do the best I can to at least look healthy and vivacious and radiant. And I decided to adopt a joy for how I look rather than having hate. For how I look, because in that moment, all of a sudden, again, I felt like I'd lost a war. Like I'd been defeated somehow. It was a really deep emotional moment. And then I felt stupid, and then I felt shallow, and then I beat myself up for all of that. So it snowballed. And then I just had to pull myself out by the top of my head and be like, Get it together. It's not going to, you're not going to age in reverse. Like, you know, really we talk about aging in reverse from on a cellular level, but like, you need to get a grip Hillary, because again, has left the station. It starts in the brain. This is what I'm talking about, you know, beauty starts in the brain, how we perceive ourselves, how we think about ourselves, it's, it's, but you know, one thing that's really helped me a lot. And listening to you say that, I think, you know, we throw around the word privilege a lot nowadays. And I know it does exist and aging is a privilege. It is a privilege to be here at a certain age to be able to afford certain luxuries, to take care of yourself, doctors, dentists, um, the skincare I use, the makeup brands, all of this stuff that I get to use to help me Age in a way that I'm comfortable with is really a privilege and I am very fortunate and I am very lucky to have the supports to be able to age in a way that I choose. Right. Oh, that being put out there and that being said, I do think that deep down. We all want the best for ourselves. We all want to look and feel as good as we can. And I think recognizing that in ourselves is a good step to positivity and feeling confident as you were talking about. And again, realizing that it is a privilege and it starts in the brain, right? And it shows through. It's like, I kind of think of myself, you know, if I were at a family gathering, if I were hosting, you know, Christmas, or if I were hosting a party, if I were hosting this or that or the other, you know, we think back to our childhoods and you remember that aunt or that woman or the mother or the friend or the older woman and. There are those that were just neurotic and crazy and then there were those that were like laissez faire and you know, there was something beautiful and I've decided that even if that was difficult in the beginning, that's who I'm going to be. Yeah. I'm not going to let this get me down. We can't and there's no reason for it to, but I think because we grew up in beauty, we might be a lot harder on ourselves than other people are on us. I mean, like for me, I can't really get Botox in my forehead anymore because I have, you know, a hooded lid more so on this side than on the other. And if I get Botox, it drops my whole brow. So I'm kind of like, all right, well. I guess do I cut bangs? I don't know. Yeah, really. Oh my God. There's no need to get crazy. I know. But, you know, I think you bring up a really good point, Hilt. You know, we grew up in this beauty industry. Mm hmm. You know, we got into it at a very young age. Um, you especially have a, have a beauty lineage there and your family. Um, I know as soon as I could start working, one of my first jobs was in a, was in a makeup shop, you know, and so I, I think both of us have been surrounded by this industry, having worked in this industry for our career. So we have a very different sort of perspective on this. Right. I also think being around a lot of, you know, actors, celebrities, musicians, you know, all that world too. Um, those are people who, you know, their face is their fortune, being around that energy, growing up magazines, very different. You know, everyone complains about social media, really being hard on the youth. I think magazines in their own way were just as difficult to grow because we looked at those pages of 17 and teen and You know, and I remember saying, well, I don't, I don't look like that. Like, am I okay? Am I pretty enough? And especially back then, like, you know, there were articles on like, measuring your thighs and like, yes, you had to have this eyeshadow. If you didn't have this eyeshadow, you couldn't go back to school, you know? I don't know. I think there were so many more rules and less acceptance of, you know, diversity and individuality back then that we lived in a very. Very much a pressure bubble of beauty versus now I look at my daughter and her friends and this younger teen generation and we've talked about this before, but You know, they're growing up in a very different time, but so much more is accepted. So many people are invited, more people are invited to the party than there was when we were growing up. And imagine, Hill, looking at us, the way we look, right? If we felt like we weren't maybe invited to that party, can you imagine? Other people might have felt they, you know, their invitation was lost in the mail too, or, you know, they weren't even on a list. So, I think there's so much, um, uh, you know, I mean, I keep saying it through this, through this whole conversation. It goes back to, it starts in the brain. How we perceive ourselves, you know, is not necessarily how the world perceives us as well. And I think, you know, Even more importantly, the caring or the not caring about how you're aging. Well, I have a good example of this that it just occurred to me as a matter of fact. So the first time that I caught myself in the mirror like that, that when I really, not in the mirror, in the car, in the window, the car window, that really freaked me out. I was on my way to an annual trade show in Los Angeles. So every year the beauty industry comes together and they do a trade show in LA and I was on my way there and I felt pretty good. You know, I was like, Oh, I'm going to go see people. I'm going to go look for components. I'm going to look for things for clients. I'm going to see contacts. And I was feeling great when I looked in the mirror. So I was doing my makeup, put on my little leather pants, was walking out the door and I felt great, excited. And then I got to the car. And I saw from the bottom up and everything just went. And I felt I was, I was, I'm just going to admit I was devastated. And I went to that show and I went to that conference and carried that energy. And I felt like everyone there was 20 years old. I felt like if I was standing in a circle of people at a booth, or even with talking to other contacts that everyone was kind of looking at me like. Why she's like such an old lady if they noticed me at all. I felt invisible. I felt overlooked I felt and this is somebody with 30 years in the beauty industry and a an impressive Successful pedigree and I had the worst show the worst day. It was awful It was absolutely horrifying. In fact, I did a video because I saw Kim and Esme there and I did a little hello video with them, which I never posted. You, I don't know. I think I may have sent you photos, lamenting being like, look at what I look at how I look. Oh my, it was terrible. I've since gone back to that show since I changed my mind about things and I walked into that show not with like my head held high like I am a queen but I walked in there fully possessed of myself and with that acceptance that we're talking about like I did the work to really get there. I got through the beating myself up about all of you know those feelings and what's wrong with me and Could I know better than this? Um, And it was a completely different experience. I walked up to booths, people were thrilled to see me. I was in the same circles of conversations and people were asking me questions. So much of it has to do with how you show up and how you present. And that means how do you show up for yourself? Beauty starts in the brain. I think. You know, humor has so much to do with it, you know, like, you know, when you just sort of tell the story back, you can now laugh about it, you know, and it was ridiculousness of the whole situation, but was it ridiculous? No. It was really like hard. It was hard for you and terrible. Well, I still see it all the time when I park outside and have to go get in that car. And I get into the car. Yeah, I know. Get rid of the car. Stop driving. What am I doing? Get rid of the car. Like, no, I think that, you know, all, all kidding aside, I've just changed my relationship with it. Yeah, you just have to change it and, and find that humor and say, you know, Oh my God, how lucky am I that I'm even going to this show? That I'm healthy enough, that I look good, you know, like I'm going to this show. Um, But yeah, I think humor has so much to do with it. Not taking ourselves so seriously. I think that's something that has really changed a lot. Not taking yourself so seriously. I know I was finally able to joke about it. Yeah. I was finally able to joke about it with my husband. Yeah, because you know, I came home and he was like, what is wrong with you Right, right, right. What's wrong with you? He was laying, yeah, he was laying down and I just came and crawled into bed with him and I was like, Ugh. Right. He can get me laughing, like nobody can get me laughing'cause he'll laugh at me when I would, I would murder anybody else laugh at me and I think I said something ridiculous like. I'm we're never having sex with me on top again. No one's ever seen me from that angle again, right? Laughing like oh my god He's like dramatic much dramatic much But yeah, that's like, I mean I fully That's like your experience, you know, i'm never speaking to children again I'm, not i'm never leaving the house again. Like i'm gonna put a bag on my head and just go, you know, but You I don't know. How do we care for ourselves now than we did years ago? You know, I mean, we are an aging population. We are an aging society. We're a youth obsessed society, no joke. And it keeps getting more and more youth obsessed every year. But how, what are some of the things that You know, we're doing now that we didn't do years ago that, you know, in a way, like I was talking earlier is a privilege. It's, it's, I'm so fortunate that I'm able to have, you know, a trainer that I work with who's really making me feel good about myself, um, not just externally, but internally. Internally, psychologically, I feel so strong when I can lift a heavy weight now, you know? Um, is it the same, you know, body that I had 20 years ago? No. But is it a better body because it's given me so much? It's given me a long life. It's given me two children. It's, you know, you can celebrate all of those great things. Um, I'm still here, you know? Um, that's exciting. But I think I put so much more effort now into things like food is medicine meditation, you know, working out, um, longevity doctor that I work with who we will have as a guest on our podcast because he's so amazing. Um, you know, dermatologist. Um, I spend more money on skincare than I do on lipstick. I mean, there's been so many shifts as I've aged where I put my money. Um, and I'm fortunate that I'm able to put it into areas that, aren't just for external beauty, but internal beauty. Like my mind is clearer and sharper and I feel better because I have access to better foods, because I have access to certain doctors, because I can work out, things like that. Um, and there's a beauty that comes from that. You know, there's because I think there's a, it's an honoring your body. It's an honoring your machine. At this point, I don't put anything with the exception of maybe this mascara. I don't put anything on or in my body that doesn't serve a purpose. For example, every piece of skincare that you just saw that went onto my skin. Is color plus skincare or a color plus this, like even the eyebrow, I use two different things. They have, they have keratin in them. They have growth, not serums, but they have, you know, they're, they're healing. They nourish the hair. They're every single thing that I used had benefits, skincare benefits. And now I even look at food and, you know, we're going to a restaurant opening this evening. And I'll probably whatever, whatever is there. But even that is like nourishing my soul because it's making me happy to be at that event. You know, the most beautiful women in the world. And I think we can both agree with this are the happiest and kindest people, you know, I mean, if you look at, you know, we won't spill names or drop names or things that we actually know. But if you look at, say, certain celebrities or, you know, musicians or whatever, and you think to yourself, wow, they don't. you know, they don't look that great or wow, they're not aging well or whatever. Sometimes you think in your, in your head, like, well, is that because of who they are as a person? Right. If you see someone, you know, take all that celebrity aside. Um, If you see someone in the supermarket, you know, and you think, wow, that, that person's really like good looking. Like that, that's a good looking woman over there. Wow. She looks really put together. And then, you know, you say something to her and she's really kind and really nice. And you have a little moment. Yeah. You know, you're like, wow, the beauty really radiates. And then you see someone who just really is struggling or maybe something's going on. And sure enough, they're the meanest person in the world. You know, they'll just cut your car off in the parking lot or whatever. And I think, And they didn't even look good. There you go. It's hand in hand, you know, it's hand in hand. Susan, speaking of that little Napa spa weekend that we went to, do you remember that there was a very famous celebrity there? Of course. Okay. Yeah. And what I did and what I said. Do you remember? Mm hmm. The way that she was screaming like a sea witch. And this is, we're talking number one. Mm hmm. Of all time, the most famous, and for what, five, six decades now? Everyone knows her. Everyone loves her. Everyone adores her. She has money. She's been with the most handsome men in the world. She's, boy, the vitriol and venom and I, I just remember looking at her thinking, What a, From the man driving the golf cart to the gentleman that she was with, she was, she was a barnacle, you know? I mean, but again, it's, you know, and in all fairness, like, was she having a bad day? Was she like, you know, who knows? Who knows? But to your point, I think, um, I, I'll just always believe this. I think when someone walks into a room and they're beautiful and they command attention and they command the light, nine times out of 10, that person is the nicest person you'll ever meet. And I think we often get intimidated to talk to strangers or talk to someone because, you know, they're so beautiful or someone's like very intimidating and then you speak to them and you're like, my God, they were so nice. You know? That's how we're going. Hmm. I think it's what, what you radiate and how you feel it gets back to confidence. It gets back to feeling good in yourself, you know? Um, well, I will tell you, Susan, that in the days when you were training for Chanel, I mean, and so our listeners just bear with us for a moment. I'm going to embarrass Susan a little bit, but if you can picture it. Picture it, everyone. Susan, you walk into, first of all, you know, you're going to a Chanel training. So it's like very, Ooh, you know, it's the creme de la creme, right? You know, between like La Prairie and Christian Dior, still it's Chanel. So you go into a Chanel training and you walk in and the banners are up and the tables are set and everything is perfectly branded and you're in one of the most beautiful hotels and the silver is out for the tea and everything is set. And Susan is in her black and her white and her chanel and she's looking very chanel but also very edgy and very cool because you can tell there's that rock and roll vibe going on under there and at first you're just like oh boy oh she is like a force and you know it was and I would hear people And they were like, Oh, you know, people that hadn't met you before. And so many people are assholes in the beauty industry. They just are. So it would have made perfect sense if you were a total asshole. It's the ugliest, ugliest, most beautiful industry in the world. And quite frankly, I expected you to be a monster, a nightmare, the most conceited, terrible person. And from the first second that like our little eyes met, We were like, and every time, cause I went to your trainings all the time as a beauty director, people that didn't know you were at first. stiff, but then they would see people trickle in that have known you and they would kind of be like, oh, is she going to be nice to me too? Is she going to be nice to me too? And the way that you taught your classes and you included everyone and you, without being overtly pandering, you would compliment someone's question. They're, The way they positioned something you made everyone feel included and at the end everyone felt important They felt like you were their friend you were their educator and that's why whenever you travel and still pop into chanel stores People just lose their mind and it is it's because you were kind to everyone and they didn't anticipate it Because you were so together and pretty. I'm sure there's people out there that will disagree with you. And always, but uh, you know, I, I thank you for that compliment. That's very sweet of you, Hillary. But yes, I always tried to make everybody feel seen. And, um, you know, even at times when I didn't. So that's, that's, you know, I was wanted to bring beauty to the beauty industry. Thank you. But yeah, I'm sure there were times I wasn't kind, you know, and I own that. And then I'm sure for the majority of it, I was like, if you, if you were a person who, who had the same level of passion that could match mine, there usually wasn't a problem, you know? And if you didn't, sometimes there could be a problem, you know, but no, I think that How we, again, how we sort of perceive ourselves is, is what we put out there. It's what we generate out there, you know, and I think the older we get to the less insecure we become. Hopefully you do the work. Like you said, like I had to do a lot of work on myself. We all do a lot of work on ourselves because we all, especially those of us who grew up in this beauty industry, There's so much insecurity and there's so much self hatred and there's so much, uh, not thinking you're good enough or you're the best enough and you know, and, um, we're so hard on ourselves. If that's the one thing that I can tell women as they age and as we care, Stop being so hard on yourself, you know, um, be good to yourself, be, you know, care for yourself more and then that will come across with everybody else. So, what parts of aging are bothering us? Like, and how do we reconcile? Is there a part, um, you know, uh, that, that, that is bothering you these days? Is there anything that? You know, in particular, besides your, your mirror situation with the car. It's, I mean, it still bothers me. My neck drives me absolutely crazy, but. Um, am I learning to accept it? No. Uh, am I working on my husband to change it? Yes, because he's very against it. And I will say my mom's had two facelifts. So when she and I are out and about in the world and like at trade shows, even, or if I use her as a model for something, or I was speaking at a trade show in her, um, Metropolitan area, not too long ago. And we were going to walk the show after I did my whole presentation on stage. I was there talking about retinols. And, um, I said, just do me a favor when we walk around, just don't tell people you're my mother because she always does it. She's like, oh, and I'm her mother. And that was fine when I was 20, 30, 40, whatever, but now approaching 50 and with her, with her two facelifts, I find that people, and she looks phenomenal by the way, I'm not dissing her in any way, shape or form, but we've gotten to the point of where we're only 20 years apart. That's true. Thank you so much. With me having early menopause as well and her having had her little tweaks, I've noticed that when she says to people, Oh, and I'm her mother, they look at her and then they look at me like, what's wrong with you? Like, why do you look like a wrinkled old paper wrinkled up paper bag? And she's doesn't begin. That's a lot of me. So, I mean, again, you like, I understand that you don't look like hell, but that's kind of a weird, funny thing I've got going on if I'm being honest, but you know, um, being achy was bothering me and that's getting better nutritionally. Um, but also because I'm still in the industry and, um, just seeing the way industry, the industry is hard on women that are over 40, they say. They give a lot of lip service to the mature woman and the menopause woman. That's because they're trying to sell her. They don't really actually want to see us or hear from us. They just want us to open our wallets. And it's really, it's really kind of a little bit of a burn my side. And I'm just, I'm figuring out how to handle that gracefully. Um, In the beauty industry. We'll see, since I'm still, I'm still involved. So of course there are people that, you know, come to me and hire me. And I would consult with many different brands and do many different things because of my experience. But in general, there is absolutely in the American beauty world. Again, it's different with French brands, very different with French brands. Uh, there is. A youth obsession and a lot of that has to do with social and social media because for a while there all the social media managers were, you know, 18, 19, 20 years old and we had to completely change our marketing budgets because it went from we, you know, we spend millions of dollars in the beauty books, which are magazines to all of a sudden we're paying the social media manager a hundred thousand dollars a year to run a campaign because they are selling 80 percent of the product. So there was a big flip on its head and it was typically the younger person. Mind you, that was almost two decades ago, but it's still stuck that the younger people now know how to use AI and they know how to do this. They know how to do that. So I'm just making sure that I know how to do all of that just as well, if not better, really my only, um, thing is that it's, it's still one of those things that. It's it is what it is. We chose a hell of an industry to be in. Yeah, we really did. You know, it's, it's, uh, you know, it is what it is, this industry. We love it. And we hate it at the same time. Right. But I'm, I'm loving getting older. I I'm, I'm happier. I'm just noticing some of these differences in life. And just aches and pains and things changing, but I, we, we talk about things more now. So we have, I'm much more gentle with myself. I think my post, my pre and post shower takes a little longer, you know, because I'm dry brushing more religiously before I'm, you know, fascia blasting or hydrating a little bit more. After I'm paying attention to my joints, you know? Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. I'm just, I rather than brutalizing my body, I was just always pushing it and going and going and going, oh, yeah. It totally turned around and now I'm taking care of it more. Right? I mean, we were so mean to ourselves and so hard on ourselves. Right. And, and, um. You know, I think there's so much more awareness now about taking care of ourselves from the inside out. And that's something that we talk a lot about, um, on Life Gloss. Beauty is, you know, beauty starts in the brain, but it also starts in the body and then comes out. And everything we talk about, all the makeup tips and all the stuff we put on and whatnot, is just icing on a cake. But if the cake is crumbly and dry and doesn't taste good, right? No matter how good the frosting is, you're not going to want the cake. So you got to start. At the cake and frosting is all the other frippery and things that we put on top of it. And we're going to bring some people that are actually in the profession of psychology. We're not going to name any names. We're talking to a few people, but we have some contacts that have worked in beauty and have been coaches, psychologists, team builders. So there are a couple that we are talking to. So we're going to actually. Bring some doctors on to talk about the psychology of aging. So, and coming from the beauty industry, you know, people that come from beauty. Um, and I think something that we also need to, you know, really touch upon quickly is the fact that We are at the age where we're just not taking care of ourselves and trying to age gracefully and, you know, feel as young as physically as we do, you know, mentally, I'm generalizing, but I'm sure most of us after 50 still, you know, the Gen X, like we're forever young, like in our brain and because we're the coolest generation, let's face it, but we're forever young, but I think, um, you know, we're doing so much on the outside and trying to work on the inside and it's constant, but at the same time, you know, this whole who cares, we're also at the age where we're caring for others. We're caring for cats, children, spouses, um, aging parents, you know, all at the same time. It's like, you know, I mean, you have our generation of women, a lot of them. You know, go through menopause the same time their daughters are going through puberty, um, or the same time that their, you know, parents are getting much older. Um, so like if I have an ache or a pain or something's bothering me, you know, I'm so fortunate I still have both my parents and I am close to them. Um, And I'm extremely close to my mom, um, that I'm able to reach out to her, you know, and say, Oh, did you have this? Or did you do that? Or again, just another privilege of our aging for those of us that still have parents that we have a relationship with, um, and that are still here. Don't take that for granted, you know, as hard as it is. I have friends caring for parents with alzheimer's Friends caring for you know six spouses and and and and ill Parents and I often think that can be really hard that can make you not feel good Feel beautiful. That is the last thing you're thinking about is how you look or putting on a red lipstick because you have so much other stuff or kids that, you know, need extra supports. Um, we all have our stuff, you know, so remember that, you know, remember, remember that. Here's my little PSA when you're driving down the street and someone cuts you off, just breathe for a moment and remember, first of all, remember how beautiful you are inside and out. But remember, you don't know someone else's situation. Right. Right. And I always tell my kids hurt people, hurt people. So come across someone who's not as caring or not as beautiful as they should be. I would bet my last. Nickel that that person is going through stuff that you know about. So, you know, it's a tough age, I think for those of us in our fifties, um, for women especially because I mean, I hate to say it and it is so true and you know, stereotypes are nobody's friend, but we are the caretakers of the world. I'm sorry. We just are, you know, we just, we have that. We have that chip, you know. Um, at least most of us do. So we do end up being the ones who care. Well, and we are magical and I will, I'll give a little challenge to our listeners that are out there. Do like consciously if you leave your house, give yourself like maybe a one day or maybe a one week challenge and go out into the world and rather than just getting through the things that you need to do. Like just having your head down and getting through the things that you need to do. Go out into the world and be a little bit more conscious of the people around you. And I'm not saying go out there and, you know, talk to people in the line at the grocery store, compliment people on their tennis shoes or the bows in their hairs or whatever. Don't be weird. Don't need to get crazy. Yeah, don't be weird. Don't like be stalkery and strange. I mean, I live in a city where if you go around and like talk to random strangers, they'll like, you'll freak them out. That may not be the case for so many of you. But. You know, even just like looking at, you know, glancing at somebody, just smile at someone once in a while, wait, hold a door, notice, because there are so many people that are really hurting right now. And we may not agree with them politically, socially, in any way, shape, or form, and they may not even appreciate or like us. Right. Frankly, I mean, I lived in, I live in a very polarized place, but I, someone challenged me to do this and I did. And we are so magical and we are so powerful and every little interaction that we have with someone. It's the butterfly effect. And I know it sounds like so woo woo, but it's true. A little tiny smile. I couldn't believe like just small little things like asking people when I'm checking out somewhere, going somewhere, just being like, actually looking at them and saying, how are you today? How's your day going? Right. Oh, hi! You know, they have to say, Hi, how are you? Hi, did you find everything? Hi, la la la. And they're used to people, like, not even looking at them and just going through. So, it was just that one little thing. When you're checking out anywhere this week, make a conscious effort to just look up and look the person in the eye and ask them, How are you? And people would just melt. Make people feel seen, you know, I think that's spreading beauty to me. That's what the beauty industry should be about is making people feel seen and making people feel heard. And especially as we move into the invisible generation, um, as, as individuals, it is so much more important to see others and be seen. And care a lot. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone, you know, told everyone that they were beautiful, but that's just me living in my Susan land. Um, beauty influence and beauty brands that care really quickly. Let's touch upon this before we wrap up. Our day of caring because, you know, at the end of the day, listeners, when we make these jokes, like, you know, who cares? Who gives a shit? Who cares? Who cares? Actually, Hilary and I really do care. We care about you. We care about the fact that you took the time to even listen to us. We care about the fact that you love our tips and techniques and, and all of our stories. And, um, we really care. We care a lot about you. Each. So if nobody told you today, you are beautiful and we do care about you. And that is sincere. And we read everything you send. That's right. We do do as we grow this little, this little life gloss, um, this little fun beauty party for, you know, mature women. We do care. We care a lot. Actually, we care a lot more than sometimes we let on. Um, So beauty brands that we find caring or comforting. I just wrote a few down. I think, you know, RMS, I love Rosemary Swift. I love her little Instagram feeds. I love, she really cares, you know, you know, um, and I know her products are very comforting. They're great for more mature skins. She cares about what goes into them. Um, I've always been an RMS fan from the first time it even ever came out. So I think that one cares a lot. Um, I think Tata Harper, she cares. I've met her. I've had a facial actually from her and she was so sweet and so kind and so caring. And I think she puts so much love into her skincare. Um, so I know she cares. Um, there's a new brand, new brand alert that I'm going to actually pick up some products and give it a try. Um, And that's a new cosmetic brand called Sarah Creel. Um, Oh, yes. Am I saying it right? God, Sarah, I hope I'm saying your name right. Uh, she's a legend in the product development beauty world. She's worked for everybody. Um, we probably all know the same people. And she's recently come out with a line of, um, beauty items. Um, I say items because she's doing a little skincare, a little makeup. I think there's like only six SKUs. She's at Sephora. And I'm very intrigued. It's real luxury. Uh, the packaging reminds me of Prada Beauty when that sort of came out. There's a lot of luxury in it. Uh, the ingredients look great. And I love it's how it's, it's really targeted to, um, to over 40, over 50, I think. I mean, it definitely is very targeted and I'm excited to try it out. Um, so I'm going to do that. Um, Clarence, I think, has always been comforting and caring. I know they're having a little resurgence. Um, Merit Beauty. I'm really liking what they're doing. I think there's a lot of care for more mature, um, I don't know. Anyone you can think of, Hil? Yeah, I was actually just looking because I forgot. I lost my mind there for a minute. So, um, Angela Caglia. She has skin care. I've had a facial with Angela. She's lovely. is lovely. She really care A very calming touch. So Angela Lia really cares. Um, there, I don't know what's wrong with my brain. Well, there's a, so many, there's a jackhammer that just started going behind me, so I'm like, yeah, what is happening right now? Maybe check this out. You can add some more Strom also. Yeah. Me really cares. Ulu. Ulu. We just had Mel, Melanie, Elaine on Ulu. Really cares. He really cares. Yeah. And we're having Dr. Perricone on again. Talk about caring. He really cares. And he cares about your kids, too. That's right. He's coming for your kids in a good way. We, we, there's so many more we could add. And, you know, we have so many friends in the industry with brands and whatnot. Um, but these were just some that popped into our heads as we were talking. As far as ones we've been thinking about recently and some new ones we want to try, um, influencers, some other people out there, uh, whether they're doing Instagram you know, I'm not a Tik TOK person. I know Hillary, you find her there all the time. She's incredible. Um, but on Instagram, there's some great people I love to follow. Uh, there's some great podcasts, other podcasts out there too, to listen to, but some influencers I think that really talk very eloquently. Um, and very realistically, from the heart, um, Paulina Portskova, love what she's up to these days, just talk about embracing, um, you know, the whole aging process, and that's coming from someone who, you know, was on the cover of every single magazine, and really, That's, that's a journey and her openness. I, I, if you haven't checked out her Instagram, I highly recommend you do. Um, and then of course, Lisa Rinna, another one who just keeps me in stitches because, you know, she's going down in flames and, and we're here for it. Like she's, she's, you know, so polarizing and I love it, you know, cause she just, she's so open and honest about everything. everything she's done and who she is and talk about confidence. And I think it scares a lot of people, you know, because she is so confident. Um, Grace, Grace Ghanem, um, another influencer, I mean, just gorgeous and her, I want her everything that she wears. I want Beverly Johnson. Do you know, she's in her seventies now. I'll have what she's having. Um, Jim Tan, she's got a great one. California, uh, is too casual. on Instagram. She's absolutely stunning, uh, stunning woman. Um, Wendy Eilert, Goodbye Crop Top. Again, someone really, really challenging how we think about aging. Jenna Lyons, I think, is another one who's out there. Rita Moreno is talking a lot. And I, I had the, I had the honor of doing Rita, Rita's makeup 20 years ago for no, uh, quit smoking PSA. And she was incredible and she's back and talking about everything again. And yeah, Rita's talk about someone that's been through it and she went through it. When there were no breaks, no protections for women, no breaks, everything, everything was allowed. Everything was okay. And she survived and thrived and done so without being bitter. Beauties in the brain. Mm hmm. Think about how beautiful you are today, inside and out. Think about how grateful we all are to even be here, even having these conversations, to be healthy enough, to be beautiful enough inside and out, to do the, you know, to even have these conversations and to have these talks. So test your power. Go out there into the world and See what just changing your behaviors just a little bit. See how much that the ripple effect is crazy. We're wildly powerful. Yeah. So Yeah. And while you're doing it, stay glossy. Stay glossy. We'll see you guys soon. You have some great people coming up. Yep. We've got a lot of exciting stuff. Dr. Perricone's coming up. We're going to start talking about holiday. We're going to talk about body. We're going to talk about skin body. We're going to start talking about, you know, all the skin that we might or might not be showing. We're also going to talk about hair. So let us know what you want to hear about because. You guys might think of something that just hasn't even occurred to us before and we're here for it. So we're here for it We're here to talk about it and make sure that everyone feels as glossy as they can So subscribe follow us on socials, please share this with everyone. We're growing organically We're growing by leaps and bounds and that's because of you. So keep us on the air life gloss lovers We'll see you next time. Keep caring and stay glossy. Stay glossy.