Words of Wellness with Shelly

The Balancing Act: Fatherhood, Fitness, and Family

• Shelly Jefferis • Season 2 • Episode 92

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Extra: Since we focused and honored Moms in the month of May, with Father's Day coming soon this month of June, we are honoring and talking about and with Dads. Enjoy:)

"An empty cup doesn't have anything left to fill other cups." 

This powerful metaphor opens a candid conversation between Shelly  and Nathaniel Hovsepian, founder of Fit Fatherhood, about the critical connection between personal wellness and effective parenting. Drawing from their combined decades of experience in health, wellness, and raising children, they explore how parents—particularly busy, career-driven dads—can prioritize their wellbeing without sacrificing family time.

Nathaniel shares the story behind creating Fit Fatherhood, born from merging his passion for health and wellness with his commitment to being a present, engaged father. Moving beyond the one-size-fits-all approaches that dominate the wellness industry, he advocates for personalized strategies that acknowledge the unique challenges parents face. From making intentional decisions about children's social media presence to establishing family fitness traditions like "Sunday sprint days," the conversation offers tangible examples of integrating wellness into family life.

What truly distinguishes this discussion is its refreshing honesty about the struggles all parents face. Both Shelly and Nathaniel openly acknowledge their imperfections and challenging moments, emphasizing that wellness isn't about perfection but progress. They discuss the research showing that even making healthier choices just 10% of the time can create meaningful change, offering a grace-filled perspective that counters the all-or-nothing mentality so common in wellness conversations.

Whether you're juggling toddlers and career ambitions or navigating the empty nest transition, this episode provides practical wisdom for prioritizing what matters most. Discover how the "rocks, pebbles, sand" approach to time management can help you identify and schedule your highest priorities first, and learn why modeling healthy habits for your children might be the most important wellness practice of all.

Are you a Dad ready to fill your cup so you can better fill others? Connect with Nathaniel to explore Fit Fatherhood resources at fitfatherhood.net. And remember—small, consistent changes add up to transformed lives for both you and your family.


CONNECT WITH NATHANIEL: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathaniel.hovespian
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NathanielHovespian

CONNECT WITH SHELLY:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithshellyj
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyJefferis

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Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless!
And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!

In Health,
Shelly Jefferis

Speaker 1:

We just talk about it from a different perspective, but it's still filling up your cup and making sure that you have enough in yours to pour over, to pour into. The kids need. Kids need them. The kids need you to be able to fill up and if you're empty, it's going to result in you either giving them a cold shoulder or like snipping or snapping at them and getting angry at them and getting frustrated with them. But we want to just be there for love.

Speaker 2:

So you have to have love in your cup to be able to pour it out into theirs? Do you get confused by all of the information that the bar does every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more To share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes.

Speaker 2:

With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly and I will be your host, and I am really looking forward to sharing my guests with you all today. This is going to be fun, because I have not had as many dads on my podcast as I would like to, so today we are featuring a dad who is a health and wellness coach for busy dads. He believes that we need to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of those around us, and that is certainly my motto, also for moms, so I love that. So welcome, nathaniel, to the show. How are you?

Speaker 1:

I'm doing very well. Thank you for having me this is great.

Speaker 2:

I'm excited for the conversation and already know there's some fun topics we're going to dive in we were talking about just a little bit ago before we started recording. So welcome, I'm really happy to have you here so welcome.

Speaker 1:

I'm really happy to have you here. Thank you so much. Yeah, you know that. What you said at the top there I'm reminded of this, this quote that I heard, and I butcher it probably every time. But you know, an empty cup doesn't have anything left to fill up other cups, and so it's up to us. You know a lot of the things that we talk about as busy dads apply to moms as well. But you know we have to fill our cup up because our kids, our spouses, everybody else, they need us to be able to empty out, and so if we're not taking the time to fill up, to rejuvenate, to replenish, then there's nothing for us to give when the time has come for us to need to give it.

Speaker 2:

It's so perfect and I think I commend you for sharing that, because it's exactly what I share with the moms community I am building. It's called Moms who Flourish, and that is exactly my motto is that we have to fill our cups up first before we can fill up the cups of others, like you said, and it is not often talked about and or shared with dads. Dads don't openly talk about this topic. I don't feel like I don't. You've you've probably experienced that, so I just want to commend you and for bringing it up and making it a priority, because it's, you know, it's important for dads to do it too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm definitely more open to talking about this stuff than most people at this point. I kind of I'm an open book but I'm trying to bring awareness to it as well. But you know, this is a a. This is an important topic. It's and that's why we created the dad community.

Speaker 2:

Well, and excuse me, yeah, we were talking before we started about our families and our children and the ages that we started having families.

Speaker 2:

And you know, I think there is something to be said for waiting a little bit longer, a little bit older, a little bit wiser. Yet at the same time, I'm kind of like you. Like sometimes I think, well, if we would have started a little younger, we might have, we would have probably had another. We have three also. But it's wonderful, like I don't, you know, I don't look back and go, oh, I wish I just. I just think that I sometimes think that if we had started a little bit younger, we probably would have had another one. And so there is definitely that factor where pros and cons, either way right, I mean, you come against some challenges sometimes when you're older, um, as far as the the process, and it might take a little longer for everything to happen, but it's just, it's so worth it whenever, whenever it happens, it's so worth it yeah, yeah, I like that you, you kind of switch things that I wish.

Speaker 1:

I have a tendency to say, oh, I wish things were different or like. But those words do matter. They matter a lot, especially in our as they go into our subconscious. There are pros and cons.

Speaker 1:

I was I'm grateful for the fact that I wait I think I was 35, 30, well, I'm 41, I'm gonna be 41 now. So I was 36 when we had our first kid and like I was very much more appreciative, I feel like, because I had been through a lot, I had learned a lot about myself and then I was able to appreciate this little human be, you know, learning and growing, and was able to really kind of absorb myself into that, seeing this little evolution of a child to grow and like just really sitting with it. It was very cool where I, if I had had a kid when I was 20, you know, you know I, that would have just gone right over my head, I wouldn't care, I would have just been in over my head with a newborn, so to speak yeah, I think, and I think that's like you were saying before we started, that was, that was the norm.

Speaker 2:

I guess you'd say right decades ago that that, not that it doesn't happen now and we're not bashing young people who start families young, but it it just seems like you're, you're it's such a huge, as you know, a huge responsibility to jump into when you yourself you're still growing and maturing as a young adult. So, yeah, it's pretty fascinating, pretty fascinating. You know, it works for some people it works to start young. I mean it. But we were about the same as you. I was almost gosh, I was almost 30 when we had our first. We had our daughter's when it was was 35, so about the same yeah, it reminds me like I think it's a, I think it's macklemore.

Speaker 1:

There's a song like he talks about how am I supposed to teach you who to become when I'm still figuring out who the heck? I'm becoming something along those?

Speaker 2:

I butcher that really bad, but yeah you know that that's perfect and it makes so much sense. For sure, and I'm still learning and growing.

Speaker 1:

I'm 41 years, I'm gonna be 41 years old. I'm still figuring out who I am at 41 100.

Speaker 2:

It's a change. Yeah, going journey for sure, and I mean there's a lot of different things. I want to ask you but you, your children, you have littles, you have little ones, or I mean, yeah, four, what are the?

Speaker 1:

ages two and a half. We have two boys, four and two and a half, and then I actually didn't, I I just wanted to and we took one shot at having a third and we got. We were blessed with a little girl, we were hopeful for a little girl, and so her name is hope. Um, she's six months old. So we have three, three right under four right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you have a very busy full life right now yeah, I you. I hope you can't hear them, but they're behind this fireplace here, the two boys just being little toddlers yeah, no, I can't hear a thing and, honestly, if if there there was any sound, it would be okay, because it's just part of it's part of life, right?

Speaker 1:

this is what we're doing, so it's totally okay yeah, we're family first, like everything we do is family first. So, like they end up in podcasts and zoom calls and stuff a lot of times, we try to keep them off social. We don't try, we have keep. We keep them off social media there. You cannot find a picture of them online. Hopefully, that was a decision that, um, my wife and I made before our first kid was like, hey, once it's out there, they're out there. We want them to. We wanted them to be able to make that decision themselves and not take that away from them.

Speaker 2:

And I know this is kind of off topic, but no, it's I've heard some things lately where, like ai is able to use their voice and use their likeness to kind of scam, and that scares the heck out of me and so I'm just grateful that like okay, we had their voice isn't out there too well at least, yeah, but okay so I have to tell this is this is an important topic and it's a, it's a, it's a part of the whole wellness spectrum and that's the the beauty of this podcast, why I started it and kept it as words of wellness because I want to bring in guests like yourself and I want to bring in topics that span wellness, and this is certainly one.

Speaker 2:

I have put on two wellness events in-person events with my Moms who Flourish community, and I have a gal who actually speaks on this very topic about social media and safety and internet use. So it's huge and it's big, and especially in this day and age, and so I think that's wonderful what you have chosen. I would be the same if my kids were little. I share a lot. They're adults now. I share them all over the place on social. They're not active on social, which is totally fine, yeah good for them.

Speaker 2:

You know, within reason.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. But I get jealous sometimes because my kids are really cute. And you know, I see other people sharing pictures of their kids. I'm like, oh man, they get to show their little cute people off. I want to show mine off too. But we made the decision. I'm glad we did, because when the time comes they get to choose they can go, not something that I did when they were.

Speaker 2:

I wasn't even a part of social media when they were babies and for me personally, I like to just share. It's a part, I guess, and this is something down the road, and it doesn't even have to be a part of, like you said, family first and with building a mom's community and that being a big part of my life. It's a part of me and my personal brand, I guess, so to speak. So within reason, though it doesn't have to go too crazy, but I do like to share Both my older, our boys, are involved with college baseball, and so it's just. I guess it's because those are such a it's such a big part of our lives. But plenty of time for that later on, when they are grown no reason.

Speaker 1:

I'm just enjoying them to myself.

Speaker 2:

I get to keep them to myself now, so yeah, a hundred percent and a lot of people you know, I see that and I totally respect that where they're sharing a picture, but the face is blocked out and you cannot be too careful this day and age. So I think it's a very smart decision for you and your wife to make that at this point in time.

Speaker 1:

Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Pash Sure. So let's talk a little bit about you coach dads in the area of health and wellness and what got you involved with that? Because you are a real estate agent, correct.

Speaker 1:

Real estate investor yeah.

Speaker 2:

Investor okay, yeah, yeah, okay, cool. Want to hear more about that.

Speaker 1:

Nothing against the real estate agents but, yeah, I can't claim to be one. They are licensed, they've gone through some schooling, school programming, and they have to abide by certain things that I, as just an investor, don't have to abide by. But, yeah, so, being a real estate investor, being an entrepreneur, I have gotten myself in different networks. My partner in Fit Fatherhood is somebody that I met a few years ago. He was somebody that I aligned with on a couple of different levels and we had always thought in our head, oh, it'll be cool, aligned with on a couple of different levels, and we had always thought in our head, oh, it'll be cool, it would be cool to do some deals together, you know, to partner up on some deals, to do some things on it. Um, in the real estate space, and this about a year ago now, we reconnected. I met him three years ago. We kind of reconnected and we're like hey, we were, we were in a couple new little circles at this point, like hey, it's been a while since we chatted you know how's everything going and he had had a kid, I was, we were on our second kid. They were about the same, you know, they're about the same age, and so we rekindled a little bit over the fatherhood side of things, and he's always been into health and wellness. He's a certified nutrition coach. He is a certified CrossFit coach and I've always been into health and wellness. He's a certified nutrition coach, he is a certified CrossFit coach, and I've always been into health and wellness myself, like being in the Marine Corps, being a collegiate athlete just I was, you know kind of physique competitions back in the day. This is going back a long time now but we're like, hey, how you know, we don't see doing real estate together, but maybe we can do something in the health and wellness space.

Speaker 1:

And so we had put on a challenge. This wasn't specifically for dads, but it was like I forget exactly what we did, but we did like a water consumption, a workout consumption, a getting outside and hanging with your families during a certain amount of days, and like it was fun. But it wasn't like we didn't really have any passion behind it, so to speak. It wasn't until about September of 2024, last year, that we came together and we were like what if we added fatherhood to this? And like put our passion for being a dad and being a family man with the passion for health and wellness and it still is in its infancy. We're still working out who we really, really want to help, because we say busy dads but even that's a little bit, um, you know broad. But it's been really exciting helping these dads realize that like you can have your career and you can have your family and you can still take care of your health and it is. It's just, it's a juggle, it's a struggle, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I love this so much. This is exactly exactly why I started the community that I did same exact reason to to support moms and empower them to put their wellness and self care as a priority. And for me personally, I'm combining the decades of working and being in the wellness and health profession to decades of being a mom and just merging those two. So it's exactly like you're saying I love it. So you formed what is it? What is it called? Again?

Speaker 1:

It's called fit fatherhood we. So it's yeah, we're focused on fitness and we're focused on health and we're focused on wellness, but it's about fitting it all in together and so it's it does have a double meaning to fit fatherhood like fitting in the family time, fitting in the career and fitting in your health for yourself. And when I say health, I like to say health and wellness, because it's not just physical, it's not just weight on the body, it's like the mental aspect of things as well, and so darn important.

Speaker 2:

Right, and that's exactly why I focus on wellness is also because there's there's so many different aspects and you know, I've taught college for many years and I taught health and that was one thing I stressed with my students, because, same thing, there are different pillars similar to wellness, different pillars for health, same exact.

Speaker 2:

Just like what we're sharing right now and I would say, most of the time, and I think it still happens to this day, like you're saying, we think of health and we immediately think of the physical, like what the person looks like physically and what are they doing for exercise, nutrition, which, of course, is huge. But it's just a piece of that puzzle, right? If we don't have our physical health, you know, then we're, we can't function. But we also need to have that emotional and mental health as well, and even the social, the spiritual, all of the areas combined, and it's never going to be perfect. Again, I always would say you know you're going to have some strengths in certain areas, so you know that's wonderful. And then the areas that maybe we're not as strong in, maybe we can focus on those areas and improve those a little bit more. Yeah, so do you do an in-person event or how are you serving your dads?

Speaker 1:

So we want to eventually do that. Our community is very small at the moment. We have a Facebook group, but we're really focused on doing the one-on-one, individual, tailored coaching to each dad that comes into our, into our fold. It's like we see a lot of these one size fits all, you know, nutrition plans, exercise plans and when we're talking about, you know, busy dads, entrepreneurs, career driven individuals, a one size fits all plan doesn't work. It just doesn't work. And so we got to really our first call with somebody a new client is diving deep into what does your day look like, what does your nights look like, what are your goals? Like, where do you want to get to and what are you currently doing? Right now that's not getting you there. And then we tailor everything around that. And sometimes it's as simple as like, hey, we're going to make one meal change this week. We're going to make, you know, a drink change.

Speaker 1:

A lot of times people don't realize like man, I was drinking four sodas a day. Okay, you know, we don't want to. We don't want to go crazy and just completely cut out everything and have you eating, you know, only drinking plain hot water and eating chicken and broccoli only because that's not something that lasts. We want to build slow habits over time that you can improve upon and improve upon, just like we were talking about, like we're growing. Even though I'm 41, I'm still growing and learning new things. That's that's what excites me, that's what gets me up in the morning, but we want to build these habits over time. So a year, three years, 10 years from now, you're a completely different person than you were when you came into our fold.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, this is great. It's exactly what I am doing as well, and I just I kind of reversed it. You know, I I started with wanting to do the one-on-one and then I realized I really wanted to bring moms together in person. So I said, you know what I'm going to do, this, I'm just going to jump in and do an in-person event and I absolutely loved it. It was such a wonderful experience for everybody. And then we ended up doing it again and I initially wanted to, or had the thought I would do one live event a year, but right now I'm I'm I'm on a two a year and we'll see how that goes but also doing the one-on-one and really diving in a little bit deeper into the topics and the struggles and obstacles and helping these moms come out of it. So, like you're saying, transform their lives and and just be better for it all and feel better and just live a life full of energy and vitality. That's really what it's all about and be around for our kids and our grandkids, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, that's what you know when, when you're young and you're single or you know and you're dating or whatever, you, you work out for a little bit more vanity reasons. And not to say that we don't have the vanity reasons still. But you know, I like to say know, I like to say I don't, I don't work out to look good anymore. I make the joke is like I work out so I can dominate my boys in sports for as long as physically possible that's the joke but it is really like I'm trying to.

Speaker 1:

I'm trying to be here as long as I can. I'm 40. I started having kids late, so I want to take care of my health. So you know, there I'm around to see grandkids, right, as a dad. Like, my life expectancy is not. I don't, I'm halfway through it at this point, but I'm hoping to get a lot longer than that. But, like you know, I want to be able to go and play sports with them. On top of that, I'm showing them what a healthy, busy dad looks like. I have two boys and they're they're learning every single day that they look at me.

Speaker 1:

A friend of mine said on my podcast one time kids, what kids learn is caught. It's not taught especially early on in this age. And I'm pointing to them they're sitting over here now. Um, it's like I'm showing them what healthy, healthy, wealthy wellness looks like. I I can't. I I can tell them eventually, but like they're learning it by seeing me do it, they're learning it by seeing what I put on the food I put on my plate, the food that I prepare, the fact that I'm, you know, going out and getting exercise outdoors as often as possible. Right, some days it's raining and I can't do that, but and I'm I'm teaching them through actions, and so that's really important to me as a dad. That's my opinion.

Speaker 2:

It is huge. That's something that my husband and I have done for all the years as well and I think, like you're saying, they're watching and we want to be the example for them, and I often joke. It might not click early on, but later on eventually. Well, even just one big joke that we have with our boys especially is the eating of greens. My older son got better with that in college and our youngest is 19. And we were just on a family FaceTime last night and my daughter was giving him such a hard time about what he's been eating. She's like where are the greens mixed in with that? You know that kind of thing. It's hilarious. Now they're our oldest, our daughter is 26. And then we have our Cody is 25. And Brayden is 19. So you know we jump on this call and it's just so funny. They we just kind of razz each other. But she was just all over him because you know he's freshman in college and eating, you know, probably not the healthiest. She's like wearing her greens and they were little and this might happen with you. There would be like there.

Speaker 2:

I'll never forget our cody. One time he went in like during dinner and was like digging around his mouth. He pulled out this little teeny, teeny speck of green, like it was probably a little speck of, you know, like a parsley or whatever it was. It was the funniest thing. We're like what are you doing? So he even like yeah, it just it. That's changed, thankfully. But you'll see that progression. But my point and all that is over time. It might not happen early on, but you'll see later on.

Speaker 1:

They though it'll pay off, I guess, is the point they have a fruit of some sort and then whatever we've made, they get broken down and like into, say we make a burrito, they get the individual things that went into the burrito yeah like man, they've had avocado so so many days of their life. Like I get jealous sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Like hey, I don't get any avocado.

Speaker 1:

What the heck I want, that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

I love that. Now do you think your boys will? Because you said you were a college athlete and what?

Speaker 1:

did you play that was a track and field, yeah, track and field okay, so it'll be interesting to see what path they take if they get involved in sports and running I mean and your daughter too right I hope that they do right, but, um, and I think that they will, just from seeing them, but you never know and um, I'm like we're not going to force that on them, but I mean by any means. But you know, one thing that we will force is let's be outside, let's be active, like you don't have to go play a sport, but like we're not just going to sit in the house all day. We're going to go outside and get fresh air and, you know, walk, and they and they're, they love it, they, we still. We have a dog and they love going and walking the dog. They're at the age now that they can walk. They don't have to be in a stroller anymore. Sometimes they're very slow walks because they get distracted by like sticks and stuff on the ground yeah.

Speaker 1:

But they're out there walking and like we do, we do, we do Sunday sprint days.

Speaker 2:

That's what like just our little thing. I like to go get a sprint workout on Sundays and they're old enough now to where they get out there and they're like I'm going to run with you and I'm going to win and this and that. Like okay, yeah, you're not, but that's so cool, I love it. That's funny. I do Sunday sprints also, get the workout in before church, but I don't have anybody joining me. Okay, yeah, my sprints are probably a lot closer than yours. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

We do ours after the church is over. Yeah, we have. Today was our first, or this Sunday. This past week was our first time doing it together as a family since our daughter was born. I believe since well before our daughter was born, I believe since well before our daughter was born, and so it's.

Speaker 1:

I said it to my wife like it's different being together, like it pushes you. I noticed it in her and I definitely noticed in myself like we're, we push a little bit harder when we're, when we're working together. So it's, I'm glad to be back. I hope that we can continue that trend.

Speaker 2:

Yeah for sure. Well, I love everything that you are doing, nathaniel.

Speaker 2:

I think it's so great and it's just like you said from the beginning it's it's all centered around your family, and it's so interesting because I put out a solo episode yesterday about that very topic being in the moment and being present as a parent, as a mom, as a dad and you know, I'm super grateful and it sounds like you have the same kind of a schedule where you can be there with them and you can be there for most of the firsts and be there as they get older and going to the events, and that was always and still is a priority for my husband and myself and I'm so, so grateful for that and I and I say that and not I don't take it lightly at all, because I know that's not the case for all parents- right right.

Speaker 2:

I mean, sometimes the work schedule just doesn't allow it to happen, and I that always makes my heart so sad, because my husband even said when they were little and I even quoted him in my podcast yesterday that these are moments that we can't get back Right. It's, uh, it's it. When you're in it it doesn't feel like it, but it it, it goes so fast. So I just I, I can't.

Speaker 1:

There's a last time for everything.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Taking in all those moments is great, and doing what you're doing as a family is, and you can't ever, can't ever regret that, can't ever regret that right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would much rather regret like a deal that didn't get done than a moment that I missed with my, with my kids. I, like I've said it on my podcast before, is like if. I build a million dollar business and it's a great business, but in 1520 years my kids don't know me at all. That's not what I'm, that's not what I was here for. That's not my purpose here at all. That's not what I'm.

Speaker 2:

That's not what I was here for that's not my purpose here.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to still build the million dollar business. We're on that way, but I'm not going to sacrifice this in the meantime to do so well, and that's the thing right, that the business most likely will be there right there.

Speaker 2:

These moments with your young kids won't always be there. So, yeah, I mean, it's definitely a trade-off and sometimes a sacrifice, but so so worth it, and I can just tell you from my being, by being a little bit older than you, that it's so worth it. Like there's so many moments where either maybe I miss a conference, or even just recently, like they're grown but now trying, now that the challenge is trying to figure out schedules, to be able to go on a family vacation. So last summer I had already invested in, paid for a weekend conference and and it turned out to be the only time that everybody could coordinate for a family vacation. So I said, well, okay, I'll go to the conference.

Speaker 2:

This particular one happens every year. I'll go. Next year Was able to. Luckily, someone else bought my ticket, so it all worked out Video even still, I was like, oh, I really wanted to go to that. But this is more important Our time together, our family time, and having a family vacation. That is now few and far between, just because of the age of our children. They, you know, two of them now have jobs and so you factor that all into the equation.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, trying to get schedules coordinated is tough once we we're doing the same thing right now with ours, like between me and my family and my sister and her family and my parents, like it's hard to make it all happen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, right, and then when you do, it's just it's such a blessing but it's a challenge and you have to. Just I guess it just takes that scheduling in advance and and finding out okay, what, what works for everybody, and trying to piece it together because it's it's tricky, it's doable, but it just takes Well it's a, it's a priority.

Speaker 1:

You know, I don't know if you've ever seen this or if anybody's listening that's ever seen this, but you know you imagine a jar and you have a he he uses it with golf balls but you can imagine rocks. You know you have. You have big rocks and these are your big, important priorities. And then you have some smaller rocks and these are the things that, like you know, they're kind of important, they need to happen. And then you have sand. These are just things that, like you know, scrolling social media, watching a movie, and then you have water. If you take the water and you pour it all in first and then you pour all the sand in first, you don't have any room for the big rocks to go in into the jar. The jar you got to take the big rocks in, you got to put those in first. Those are your big priorities.

Speaker 1:

It's figuring out those priorities that can be tough, and that's one thing that we like to work through with our clients is like, hey, what's really really important to you, cause you don't have time to do it all, put those rocks in first and then you know, figure out the little things they'll fit in.

Speaker 1:

You shake the jar a little bit, those little rocks fit into the cracks and you can pour sand in. You could shake it some more, you'd be surprising how much ends up fitting in. But it's really important to take those big, big, important priorities and fit them into the schedule first. Like you mentioned, like there's, there's only so many hours in the day. We all have the same amount of hours, but, like, some of us have to go to work for 10 hours a day and so, like, out of those 10 hours and I'm including, like travel time in that, except for some people it's more but like, out of those other hours, what's the big rocks that we can put in the jar? First, we've got to make sure that those littler rocks are getting pushed aside, otherwise a year passes and you're like man, I didn't do the things that I wanted for this year and I feel like I got on a soapbox there for a second. I'll jump off.

Speaker 2:

No, no, I don't jump. I think it's great because you're it's such an important point and it's an excellent analogy, I think, for people to hear. I really do, and it bears repeating. So I think it was great. It's a great, it's a good little visual.

Speaker 2:

It is. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, it's a great visual. I mean it literally. Anybody can actually cause as you're describing it like. I'm totally thinking of, I'm visualizing it and it makes so much sense. It really, really does. So where can people find you, nathaniel? I know I'll put all of your information in the show notes, but if someone wants to reach out to you, yeah, this actually is my personal website.

Speaker 1:

If you go there, you will find Fit Fatherhood the Facebook group on there, but you can go to fitfatherhoodnet. We do have some at least one, potentially two resources on the website. We have a meal planning guide for you and we have a goal tracking guide for you. That's a great place to kind of get connected with our community. The Facebook group has links on there and we have a couple, like I said, we have a couple other resources for you out there. If you're not a father and you're still looking for, you know, some sort of help, some coaching, some guidance, dm me on Facebook, dm me on Instagram. Come, let's connect. I want to help as many people as I can, whether you're a dad or not. The dads are just what I really. I'm able to put my passion behind, because it's something that I'm so passionate about myself. So you know, that's where I like pouring into our community.

Speaker 2:

That's fantastic and, yeah, we will share and, for those that might be listening, I will put all the information in the show notes and Nathaniel's site is wwwnathanielhofsepiancom.

Speaker 2:

But that will all be in the show notes. And as I'm talking with you and hearing you share about what you're offering, my mind is going wow, how can we somewhere down the road, do something where we're combining the moms and dads and putting on an event, or even maybe it's something virtual down the road in the meantime until we could do something in person? Because this, what you're doing, is exactly what I'm for dads, is what exactly I'm doing for mom. So I just I'm so inspired by it and I again give you you give you so much credit for for what you're doing you as well.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate you. We need you know there's mom groups out there too and the moms need to understand that the same thing that we're talking about on the dad side. We just talk about it from a different perspective, but it's still filling up your cup and making sure that you have enough in yours to pour over, to pour into the kids need. Kids need them. The kids need you to be able to fill up and if you're empty, it's going to result in you either giving them a cold shoulder or like snipping or snapping at them and getting angry at the one and getting frustrated with them. But we want to just be there for love, so you have to have love in your cup to be able to pour it out into theirs.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I was going to ask you if there's any last words of advice or inspiration you want to share, but that was pretty great, right there.

Speaker 1:

That's it. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 2:

Hard to stop that, I think. Yeah, you know, I was on a podcast with another another mom recently and she was sharing exactly what you were saying. She was noticing herself start to get snippy and irritated with her, with her little ones, and she realized she was trying to keep up with her schedule that she kept prior to having her babies and trying to keep up with her schedule that she kept prior to having her babies and trying to keep up with her workout routine and everything that she did prior, rather than realizing, okay, if I don't do that workout for one day, it's not the end of the world. Trying to juggle and be flexible and it's challenging, like gosh gosh. It's a lot easier said than done, for sure, and I find it easier for me to speak about it now. I mean, we just recently became empty nesters, so it's completely a different.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, new experience so new, yeah, really new. So there's, you know, there's that experience thrown into the mix now and there's always a great season. I mean any age of your kids and you'll find it to be true, every age brings so many great moments and new experiences and new beginnings. And even now my boys are pretty far. Baseball has brought them far away from California, but it's still just so exciting to see their journeys and to be able to follow what they're doing. And thankfully, our daughter is close. She's just South of us, a couple hours, and so we were lucky enough and we're able to go down and she was moving apartments over the weekend so we could go down and help her. So that's super cool. Stuff like that. Have the ability to do that is really cool. But it's just the point of it is just there's always. It's always a great season. It just becomes different.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, you know, you mentioned. You mentioned something really quickly there and I like to call it like giving yourself grace. It's like I missed a workout today, or you know, I didn't. I I had to get on a meeting and I didn't get to have dinner today and instead of going, oh I'm bad, I didn't do, I, I'm a, I'm a bad father or a bad husband or a bad self, like, no, no, no, we have. We have these little ebbs and flows.

Speaker 1:

Success is not a linear line. It has its dips and it has its valleys and you know, we see success as every cup is full, like it's a. It's a full cup every single day, but no, sometimes it's, it's a, it's a little bit empty and it's a little less full or whatever you want to call it, but it's showing up consistently as much as many days as you can in a row. Like going with the nutrition side of things like, oh man, I had a, I had a dessert, I'm, I'm a piece of junk. No, no, no, just get back on your, get back on your the horse, so to speak. Like get back on your nutrition cycle and just don't get down on yourself. It's not, it's not worth it, it's just, it's not worth it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh, I love that. I share that same message too, because it's not. It's never all or nothing, but for some reason society has kind of brought us into that mindset, and I don't exactly know how or when or why, but you were speaking my language, so yeah yeah, you gotta enjoy your life.

Speaker 1:

My partner did a uh, he does a webinar. I call it a webinar. He does like a zoom every other thursday night and last week he was talking about consistency and they did the study where people that did something 10% of the time to 49% of the time kind of got similar, similar results. And like, think about that, if you just made a change 10% of the time, 10% of the time you ate a little bit better, 10% of the time you replaced a soda with water, you're going to see changes, you're going to feel changes, you're going to notice changes. So like that little bit can make a difference. And so when you're making these big changes and you have a little setback, just give yourself grace, just get back and hey, this is, this is who I am now. I'm a person that eats a dessert once a week instead of every night. I'm a person that drinks two sodas a day instead of every night. I'm a person that drinks two sodas a day instead of four.

Speaker 2:

None of us are perfect, right, right, yeah, yeah, I wanted to say too.

Speaker 1:

You know I speak a lot of these things. I'm speaking to myself three months ago, I'm speaking to myself six months ago, 12 months ago. I'm still working on these things. I still have days where my comp is empty and I I nip at my wife or I get frustrated at the kids at the end of the day because they're not brushing their teeth. I got to give myself grace right now, and my wife does a great job of it. Hey, hey, hey, um, chill out for a minute. I'm a work in progress as well. I'm just sharing what I've, the journey that I'm on, and you know we're a chapter ahead and so, so to speak, that some people yes, and that's.

Speaker 2:

That's exactly what it is. I mean, we're we're still figuring it out. We just like you said, that's a perfect way to put it we're maybe a chapter or two ahead. Like you said, that's a perfect way to put it. We're maybe a chapter or two ahead. So we want to help those that are maybe not quite at that point yet. So that's the way I look at it too. To me it's.

Speaker 2:

I like to share a topic I like to share a lot about is just reducing toxins in our home and our environment and just living a healthier, cleaner lifestyle, so that we can all be here longer and live a healthy life. That's not just the longevity, but feeling good and being healthy at the same time. And for me, I always will say it's to raise the awareness, it's to help just kind of brush the surface and share just some of the basic information, just to start increasing that education and that mostly that awareness, so that we can think the next time we make the choice of oh, maybe I shouldn't have that soda or maybe I need to look at that label and read labels a little bit more when I'm shopping in the grocery store, things like that, just making those small, like you were saying, changes add up over time and it doesn't have to be a huge change, but little things along the way definitely add up. So so good, I just I've enjoyed this so much I think we covered a lot.

Speaker 1:

I do. I think we covered a lot. I just you know again. If there's anybody out there that's needing help, I think we covered a lot. I just you know again. If there's anybody out there that's needing help, please reach out. I'm a DM away, whether you're on Instagram, facebook, linkedin, come let's talk. I want to help as many people as I can.

Speaker 2:

I love it. Well, this has been such a pleasure getting to know you and sharing the conversation. And, again, for our listeners out there, especially our dads out there, reach out to Nathaniel and and you know, it's worth a DM, it's worth a connection call to see if, if maybe there's something there that you'd like to have a little more support in. He's definitely, as you can hear, there to to offer that. So thank you so much for being on. I've enjoyed this so much.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for having me Me as well.

Speaker 2:

We'll have to do it again at some point. And to all of our listeners take some time out for yourself on this day, do something for your own personal wellness and have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week. Everyone See you next time. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.

Speaker 2:

I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review words of wellness so that more can hear this message. Rate and review Words of Wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week. Thank you you.