When Your Struggle Becomes Your Superpower: ADHD, Fitness & Motherhood

Your brain isn’t the problem, the plan is. Shelly sits down with Caitlyn Costa, a personal trainer, group fitness instructor, and mom of four, to talk about what wellness looks like when you’re living with ADHD, managing a packed family schedule, and trying to stay grounded in a world that never stops talking. 

Caitlyn shares how she’s known about her ADHD since her teens, what it felt like to try medication, and why understanding her nervous system, dopamine, and anxiety helped her stop blaming herself for executive functioning struggles. We also get super practical: “body doubling” (yes, it’s a real thing), why working near other people can make tasks easier, and how simple boundaries like Do Not Disturb can protect presence at home. If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just do the thing?”, you’ll walk away with tools that feel humane and doable. 

From the fitness side, we dig into ADHD-friendly workouts that keep you engaged without turning exercise into punishment. Caitlyn explains why variety, laughter, and smart progressions can help you stay consistent, plus how modifications make group fitness accessible at any age or level. We also challenge the culture of macro counting, social media body pressure, and chasing the last five pounds, shifting the focus back to energy, sleep, stress management, intuitive eating, and gratitude for a body that can move. 

If this conversation helps you feel seen, share it with a friend, subscribe to Words of Wellness, and leave a rating and review so more people can find the support they’ve been looking for.

CONNECT WITH CAITLYN: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlyncosta1

Caitlyncosta.collabs@gmail.com

CONNECT WITH SHELLY:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithshellyj https://www.instagram.com/momswhoflourish
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyJefferis 

A few of Shelly's favorite clean products:

High quality, clean nutrition and beauty products: https://shellyjefferis.isagenix

Clean-crafted wine, free from chemicals & pesticides:
https://scoutandcellar.com/?u=healthyhappyhours

JuJu Non-toxic candles & air fresheners:
https://goodjujucandles.com/?ref=mrtgnygh
Coupon code for 10% off: ShellyJefferis

Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share  the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.

Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day! 
In Health, 

Shelly

Transcript

Why Wellness Feels So Confusing

SPEAKER_01 0:00

And I think it makes people like the big ADHD movement right now makes people feel seen. And they like understand themselves. And I just think, yeah, once you understand yourself, your life is better.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Do you get confused by all of the information that bars us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated, or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing? What foods you should or should not be eating? How to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries, and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more. To share tips, education, and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes. With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker, and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you. To bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness, and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will, we all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives full of energy, happiness, and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.

Meet Caitlin And Mom Life Reality

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Hello, my friends. Welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly, and I will be your host. And my guest today is a mama of four, and she's a personal trainer and a group fitness instructor. And I know she will have lots of tips and tricks to share with us all. So welcome Caitlin to the show.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to talk today about everything.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

I know, and I'm so excited to have you here. So thank you for taking time out of your day. As I know it's very, very full with your work and four kids. What are the ages again?

SPEAKER_01 2:28

So I have twin girls that are seven. My son is 10, and then my daughter's 12. And when I say she's 12, I feel like she's actually 16 all of a sudden. So it feels like I do have four little kids, but my oldest, 12, is so hard. Actually, quick story. I was just telling my friend yesterday how isn't it funny when you have small kids? I know I don't like to say this out loud, but I know a lot of us moms think this is you're always waiting for like the next stage a little bit, like, oh, when they can be a little bit more independent and you don't have to follow them around. And then when they can talk and tell us what's wrong when they're sick, all of that, it always gets easier. And now that I have four at these ages, my 12-year-old is the hardest. And I I think it's because hormones and social media and what's going on with the world and how they are influenced, like constantly trying to make sure she's a good person and sticks on the right track, seems so much harder than having three little ones that still want me and listen to me and want to prove me right, if that makes sense, than having a 12-year-old that just thinks, oh, you're not very really that cool anymore, mom.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Right. Well, and definitely that that age, it's such an awkward stage too. I feel like, you know, it's like they're just gonna not quite teenager and it's around the junior high, which to me, I always felt like that was such an awkward time and transition going from elementary to that all of a sudden you're gonna jump to junior high. It's that, it's that almost like that. I don't want to say bridge, but it's like that bridge from elementary to high school, but it's a big bridge, right? Even though it's a couple of years, but it's such a it's such an awkward phase, I feel for kids. So yeah, she'll, I'm sure, snap out of it. And pretty soon she'll be like, mom is the best ever.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

I hope so. That's what everyone tells me. It's a phase, and I'm like, it's a long phase, but I hope so. Yeah, but it is like elementary, you know, they have one teacher, and I feel like even going to middle school, it's so much harder because now they have seven teachers, and that's harder on the parent because I'm like, wait, homework is for what? What's on paper? What's on Canva? What's on Google Docs? Like, you can't keep up. And I feel like that is just a recipe for disaster, really. I wish it was all on paper still.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

I totally agree. Then I would know what needs to get done because she can't remember. She has ADHD, so she's her executive functioning skills aren't the best, and then neither are mine, but so it's

ADHD At Home And At School

SPEAKER_01 5:20

like so hard.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

So, how do you so with that being said, I know that's part of something we can chump in to talk about today, but I'm fascinated to hear how you tie in your personal training, group fitness instruction, exercise for yourself, and then also how that helps you with your ADHD. Because there's definitely right that connection where it definitely helps.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Yeah. Okay, so this is really interesting because I've known I've had ADHD my whole life. So I'm 39 and I know like the whole thing right now is a lot of women are being late diagnosed, like they're being diagnosed now. But I've I found out when maybe I was 14 or 15. And the the difference back then is I found out I had ADHD and that was it. Okay, I had it. So I can get on Adderall, I can get on a prescription. So I didn't until I went to college, and I was like, oh, maybe that'll help me study because I'm all over the place. So I took it and I remember like I can see the desk, I can see the college, I can see my papers, the colors of the folders, because I had a moment in my brain where I was like, I'm doing so well. I am studying, I'm understanding everything. This is a neurotypical brain, this is so cool. And then I had a moment 20 minutes later where friends walked by and I was like, hi, and I put my head down, didn't want to talk to them. And I was like, oh wow, I have no personality anymore. Like I, this medication is great, it helps me, but I'm not gonna be social. And my vibe of who I am is I'm a social person, I'm very outgoing, but I'm not gonna be like that on that medication. So I get off the medication, and then I don't think about it my whole life, really, until I started working with neurodivergent students, and I started understanding my brain by well, I was in therapy, I did EMGR therapy and all of that. So understanding my brain is I feel like what hold on, how do I say this? Understanding my brain helped me live every day instead of feeling like guilty for my executive functioning skills. Like I'm not a dirty person, but things will be messy. And funny enough, in my group fitness classes, I would say to people that are new, you guys are gonna love me, or maybe not, because I have ADHD, but you'll never be bored in my class. We're not gonna do traditional workouts, and I didn't think much of it. I would just say it out loud. But that's what turned me into making workouts for ADHD because people were coming back. We're not gonna stand there and do bicep curls four rounds, 20, and then switch because I would go insane. We're gonna do bicep curls, we're gonna hold, we're gonna pulse, we're gonna stand on one leg, we're gonna go into a plank. Like it's very kind of crazy sporadic, but it works, and you're working your butt off the whole time. You're sweating, you're getting endorphins, and then we're laughing the whole time. So it all happened naturally, but it's once I understood my brain and realized why I did everything I did for a reason, and then kind of tying that into oh, this makes sense. This helps me, so it's gonna help other people.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

I love that so much because you then you you're giving yourself grace to know, okay, this is how I operate. And so when I'm all over the place or things are dirty or what have you, it's okay. It it's how I it's how I operate. And then I think it's so great too when you're talking about how you teach the class. My first thought is that's how we should teach it anyway, because you're you're giving more of a challenge to the participants. You know, you're working on balance, you're working on mobility, you're you we don't want to just stand, we know nowadays because back in the day, I mean, I'm I'm a little older than you, Caitlin, but back in the day, that was what we did. We just did a whole set. If you we were training, which I personally trained back in my day too, and you just stand there and you count, it's like it's different now, it has to be more challenging. You have to recruit more muscle fibers and all of the things. And so, in you saying that, that's really how it should be anyway. So you're you're offering a better service, a better workout, and then also keeping it interesting and not boring and keeping it fun. I think that's right, keeping it fun.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

That's what I always say. You have to find an instructor that has a personality for

Building ADHD-Friendly Workouts

SPEAKER_01 10:05

you, right? Because you're gonna spend an hour in that class. And if you spend an hour, I say that I always go back to yoga because first of all, yoga is hard for ADHD brains. That's why when I taught yoga, I taught yoga sculpt. And we would do 15 minutes of yoga and then we'd go into weights. It's still yoga, but yoga sculpt. But, anyways, when I think of yoga, I'm like, you have got to find an instructor that has good personality, or that one hour can feel like five hours. Like you're falling asleep, you're tired, like you're kind of bored. Don't hate me, any yogis that I listen. But I always think about that because it's like you have to find someone that matches your personality and your brain. So, like I'm not for everyone, but I don't need to be, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Right, and that's such a great, such a great message because it's so true. And and there's there are still, I think, people even at our age and stages of life that still need to hear that message, you know, like we're not for everyone, and that is okay, and that's okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Like I used to get upset, like I'll be teaching a class, and let's say I'm subbing a class, and people are used to that instructor. And in the middle of the class, I'm doing jumping jacks into a burpee, into a squat, and then hold half moon, and I'll see one person walk out. And when I first had that happen, for the next 20 minutes, also ADHD. I'm very sensitive in my brain. I'm like, what did I do wrong? Maybe I'm talking too much, maybe it's what I said, maybe it's too much cardio. And I would just replay it in my head, and then now I'm like, well, they're just not for me. I think it's a little rude to leave a class, but that's okay. Like it is what it is, and I guess that's just life, like kind of understanding it. Totally is. And I remember that.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

I totally remember moments like that where I would sub and you know, you'd want to walk in and be energetic and give a great workout. Of course, you'd want everyone to like you. And again, like you're saying, when you get older, you become a little bit more wiser and realize that's okay. Not everyone's gonna like us.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Right. And I'm like, as long as you're nice and you're giving what they pay for a workout, then that's it. That's all you can do. You can't keep people like you. And it's different if you're like being an instructor that I know some instructors are like really hard, like they do like more military style, like that's different. But I always give modifications. I'm like, there is one move, there's three different ways to do it. I say that with every move. So there's always a a way you can get by with any workout. I think the biggest thing is not being discouraged. Like when older people come into my class, they're like, oh my gosh, do I really want to do this? And I'm like, why wouldn't you? Like, you don't have to do everything I'm doing, you don't have to do everything the next person's doing, but you do what you can do. If you don't want to do jumping jacks for two minutes, then you tap your feet, but you stay and you keep moving because it doesn't matter. And nobody's looking at you, nobody cares.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

It's you know, like some people it's so true. I I I I remember feeling that too, and I and I remember encouraging students and clients too, that when you go to a class or you go to the gym, you always feel, especially if it's new for you, right? You feel sometimes intimidated and you think that people are watching you and you know, noticing, but they really aren't. It's always us, right? It's always more us going, feeling like intimidated or shy or what have you. Um, and I love what you're sharing about the fact that you can always modify your workout. And I think that that's an important message for anyone, you know, working out or starting an exercise program. Everybody's body is different. And so there's always something that you can do and a way to modify certain exercises for sure. And it's no, it's no longer, you don't have to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak, when you're in a class. It's like everybody's different. And you know, again, back in I say my day, I'll talk like I'm like a hundred years old, but it was like when I would teach, when I first started teaching, it was, you know, more aerobics and it would be like, you know, run in place and just a lot of like more like jumping

Modifications And Gym Confidence

SPEAKER_00 14:40

and plyometric, just that's what we did back then, right? And I feel like back then too, it wasn't so much people were competitive, but in some ways maybe they were. And you'd always see people kind of just all like like working really hard. And I think now that's another message and another important point to make that we know it's kind of like when you know better, you do better. Like you don't have to work out intensely, and we know now that some of those workouts really aren't the best or the safest, probably. And uh so the variety is spice of life, I always say, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're teaching in your classes. So it sounds pretty fun.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

I know, and I love teaching everything. So, but that's what I say at the end of every class after we do our crunches, like we always end with abs. And then I say to everybody, every single class, every day, you guys should all be so grateful and lucky that you're here. It does not matter any fitness level anymore. Like, who cares? You woke up today and you're able to walk yourself in a gym and you can move your body. Like, what that's life. That's literally all that you should care about is that you have your health. Because I heard this one guy talk a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. And he said, if you have your health, you have 99 problems. If you don't have your health, you have one problem, not having your health. That's all good. Life, like you can move your body. Who cares if you can hold a plank for five minutes or 10 seconds? Like just have fun and keep moving.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

That's exactly yeah, that's so, so good. And that's always the message that I'm sharing too. It's like it just doesn't have to be so complicated and it doesn't have to be so strenuous. Sure, it's beneficial to do some higher intensity workouts here and there, but for the for the most part, it doesn't have

Stop Chasing The Last Five Pounds

SPEAKER_00 16:35

to be killing ourselves at the gym anymore.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

We know, and if you don't want to do it, don't do it. Like I used to, and I used to do a ton of HIT training. I I used to do it all, count my macros. Oh my god, I would never anymore. But now I'm like, if we can learn to eat intuitively, like I remember when I first stopped counting macros, I was at Whole Foods and I was eating a salad, and I was like proud of myself. Because I was like, oh my god, I didn't measure anything out. Like that's crazy to me now. You couldn't pay me to measure anything out. I'm like, that's terrible, that's a terrible way to live. I don't think that's natural. I don't think it's normal. I think the whole bodybuilding era and everything is like very unhealthy.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

You have a really, really valid point with that. And I and I'm in a uh a coaching group and we talk about this very topic where there's so much being shared online, right? Social media from those that really maybe aren't as educated. And I don't mean to bash people at all, but you know, they might have a lot of followers and they're sharing this information and people see what they do and they they follow them, so they follow what they say. And it's not always the best advice or sound advice. And there is still a uh what what should we say? I I guess maybe not so much an obsession, but I was just listening to a podcast the other day about two gals, and I my one gal, Lori, I love her to pieces, and they were talking about peptides. And and one thing that they were saying was the fact that they feel like the message needs to get out so that other women know that they're not alone, that they feel trapped in their bodies and they feel like, like you're saying, they have to count this and they have to count this and they have to do this exercise. And I thought to myself, wow, is that really the case? I hope not, because I it made me kind of sad because I'm with you. Like I've I've never counted anything. I'm like, eat healthy most of the time, exercise, enjoy your life, you know, and do what you need to do to be proactive and preventative. Get your physicals, get your health checked, your blood checked, all the things. And of course, it's easy for me to say probably because it's been a part of my life forever. But I just feel like there's so much of life wasted in obsessing over this stuff. And like you're saying, counting the macros, doing this, doing that, weighing things, weighing your food.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

I'm just like, there's so much life wasted trying to weigh five pounds less. Everyone is trying to lose the last five pounds. I'm not gonna go out, I'm not gonna do this, I'm not gonna eat five pounds. I think that's like everyone's saying. Oh, I plateaued. Well, maybe your body wants to be five pounds heavier. Why don't you try not to worry about it and then watch your cortisol drop, take three more walks? That's it, walks a week, five pounds might be off.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Right, right. And it's the taking away that stress and obsessing about it and being so hyper-focused on it. It's more like, what are we? Let's focus more on our our health and our energy and how are we sleeping? How are we managing our stress? But there's so many, so many more important things. And I again, it's easier said than done for some people, but that's really where my focus has been for quite a long time when it comes to educating and and working with clients and just let's like you're saying earlier, let's be grateful for the fact that we can get up out of bed and go for a walk. And I mean, I think about that on the days I go out and walk or run. I'm like, I'm so grateful for being able to be outdoors and have legs that I can run or walk, you know, like the simple things. And I think that's an important message too. Yeah, it's crazy sometimes. It just people take it too far. And and then and another thing they said on this podcast the other day is how they feel they feel like they haven't been present, like a lot of their life, they haven't been present. And I and that broke my heart because I'm like, really? You feel that way? Like that's such an important thing that I share. Is it's it's not again always an easy thing because your our minds are you know going in different directions, but being in the moment and bring present as much as we can, because I think it's really hard with the

Presence In A Phone-Driven World

SPEAKER_00 21:05

phone. Yes, you're right.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

It's social media. I think that we used to be a lot more present, and I see that with my 12-year-old, is like, and I don't let her have social media, and I'm like the only one that doesn't. And but she can get on Cap Cut and she's still always on her phone. That I'm like, how can you be present if you're always looking down? You can't, like, and if you're not, you're thinking about something else. Like it's it's so, so hard for this generation, the younger generation, because it is life and it is how a lot of people make their money now. So, like, I mean, I work from my phone, so I am always looking down.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

That's it. Yep, me too.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

But like I put my phone when I am a mile from my house, my phone goes on do not disturb. No matter right when I pass the train tracks, it goes on do not disturb until I remember when I'm home and I'll like take it off sometime. Because I'm like, okay, as soon as I get home, I'm done. And I don't, obviously, I will still chuck my phone. But it's like you can do little things to try not to be on it as much, but to stay present. And I think staying present, staying in the moment is something you have to remind yourself of every day. Cause I think just as humans, we just don't like it is not a natural thing for us. No matter what we say and how many times we say it, we have to. That's what in my group classes, we start every workout talking about that. Because I'm like, I'm just here to remind you. I know you've heard it five million times. I'm just gonna remind you today, and I'll remind you tomorrow to just this next hour, don't think about anything that happened yesterday or what you have to do in one hour. Just take this one hour for your thoughts right now. Get to know your body a little bit better, and that's it. And like sometimes that's the only time you think about it. And then you go on about your day and busy, and that's life. Slowing down is like such a luxury.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

I love that we're having this conversation because it's it's definitely something that I talk about often, but I think it's it bears repeating because you're right. Like we need to take that time and that downtime. And and I'll always say, and I'm sure you do the same, like it can just be even just going outside for five minutes and getting a little bit of sunlight on your face and taking a couple deep breaths. Sometimes it's just that, right?

SPEAKER_01 23:24

And that's and so many people are deficient in vitamin D. And I'm like, don't wear sunscreen for 20 minutes, okay? Go outside without your sunscreen, get your vitamin D, you won't be deficient. Why is everyone in California deficient? You shouldn't stop loading up on sunscreen for just a hot minute. Right. You won't need vitamin, you'll be happier, you'll have more dopamine. I keep like, you say one little thing, and I'm like, wait.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

It's so true.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

When my twins were born, they were creamies, obviously, twins. And the doctor said, I can give you vitamin D in liquid form for them, or put them in the sun every day for 20 minutes, not covered up. And I was like, I'm gonna try it. So every day we'd go out, we put a blanket out, and I would lay them in the sun. They never needed a supplement. Wow, I love that. That's so cool. Like the sun, right? Like it's all really all does work together, even though it sounds ludicrous to some people. But I'm like, it's all energy. It's God made all of this for us to work, for all of it to work.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

So true. And it's such a big message out now, too. You're seeing more and more people sharing the fact that you need to have that sunlight

Sunlight Vitamin D And Sunscreen Balance

SPEAKER_00 24:35

without the sunscreen, like you're saying. And then so much of the sunscreens have chemicals in them, right? So it's just this.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

This is debatable, but they say that sunscreen is what causes skin cancer more than the sun. I'm gonna stay neutral with it, but it's something to think about.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Mm-hmm. For sure. I think it's definitely something to think about because I've seen that often too. And it's it's such a that's one of those things where we've been so trained. Sunscreen, sunscreen, and so it's to go with oh, maybe I don't need it. And it's uh it's kind of tough for me too, because I have had skin cancer removed from my face, and so um sometimes I'm like, hmm, do I really need? I mean, I have found a non-toxic sunscreen now, but it's definitely food for thought, so to speak, because I, you know, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

It makes sense, and maybe it's kind of what we were saying before about just moderation and balance. Like, we still should use a good quality sunscreen, but not you don't need to put it on as soon as you wake up, not all day, every day. And I'm the same way my uncle died of skin cancer. So, like, I was going to the dermatologist every three months because I had so many freckles removed. And there was one remove that I was like, that area is never in the sun. How did that happen? And the lady was like, tanning beds, did you use tanning beds as a kid? And I was like, I did. And she's like, they can show up 15 years later. I was like, okay, so crazy.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Oh my god. The more you know, the more you know. And this is great because we're covering so many topics that are so important to just our

ADHD Meds Focus Vs Personality

SPEAKER_00 26:20

overall wellness. And I love this. I want to go back for just a second. When you were talking about the medication, because that's fascinating to me, that it helped you with your focus, but it affected your personality, right? I don't know if I heard that.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

I would be, I'm just not as fun. Like I like if we were talking right now, actually, I probably wouldn't even sign on here to talk because I would just want to get other things done and I wouldn't want to socialize.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

So did you just feel like it made you more made you more focused, but also like more serious?

SPEAKER_01 26:57

More serious. So I took Adderall after the twins were born, so maybe like five years ago, and I was like, I my friend had it, and I'm like, Can I have one? I need to clean my house so bad, like deep clean it. Let me see what happens. And I took it, and my house, I first of all, I started to love cleaning. I hate cleaning, and I was like, this is so much fun. And I was like, I'm getting everything done. And then followed like three days after I had panic attacks, so much anxiety, didn't want to talk to anyone, and a lot of um ADHD medications, or maybe all of them, affect the nervous system. So with ADHD also comes anxiety. That's just life, that's how our brains work. So then if you take something that affects your nervous system and then you come down from it, you're gonna get anxiety. But like people that, you know, if you're on it for life, you take it every day so you don't come down. But that's why getting off Adderall, I don't know if anyone has seen stories of it, but you could look it up even on social media. It is very intense to get off those medications because your dopamine is completely lowered. So, like your brain, it's kind of similar to antidepressants. I think, don't quote me on that, but just how it affects your brain chemicals, you know. So if I and some people do need medication, so I would support it either way, depending on the person. But for me personally, I'd rather have a personality. And now that I understand my brain, I know that okay, if I'm gonna do laundry, I'm gonna FaceTime someone because I need to body double. I need someone sitting next to me or on the phone with me because that's a huge thing with ADHD, is body doubling. And that will help me get something done. So I'd rather have a personality and just take a little bit longer to do my laundry than be like super type A. Nothing's wrong with type A, people. My best friends are type A, but I'm totally type B. And that's who I am. I don't want to change who I am just because I can't focus all the time. However, this gets me on a whole nother subject is ADHD, you can hyperfocus like crazy. So tell me some something I

Body Doubling And Getting It Done

SPEAKER_01 29:10

love and I'm passionate about, I can hyperfocus more than any neurotypical person. So that's like the superpower of ADHD. And that's probably why a lot of people with ADHD cannot work a corporate nine to five job because we need more. We're so bored. And if we find something boring, I'd rather die. I need to be so interested in something. And once I am, I'm like, oh, I can conquer the world. Wow. Did I just so off on it? I love that.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

So it's so fascinating because I don't I don't know a ton about it, but I think it's so I I love what you're sharing too, because for anyone who's listening who might be going, Oh, I should try that FaceTime while I'm doing laundry or something, you know, or having something else you're focusing on, I guess, to help you through that task that that's at hand.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

It's more of you don't even have to focus on it. It's more of for our brains, having another person there get stuff done. So like they don't even have to talk to me. They could sit in a chair and be working on a computer, but all do stuff because somebody's in the room. And I think that's why people, and I don't know if people realize this, but that's why they go to Starbucks to work. That's why if you work from home, sometimes you can work better because you go into a place where you don't talk to anyone, but everyone's working. So you're all just kind of feeding off each other, like that type of energy.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Yeah, I get that. Now that you're saying that, I totally get that.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

So my daughter with ADHD, her room, like this sum, not this summer, it is summer, this spring looks like she was a hoarder. And I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna die. Call your friend over. Because her best friend is not like that at all. And I was like, Hope, can you just sit in her room and Bella will clean? And she's like, Okay. So she sat there and Bella cleaned the whole room. And I was like, that just proves my point of body doubling, so important. And I didn't realize that until I started working with neurodivergent kids that I realized that about myself. And I was like, Oh, I've done that my whole life.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Yeah, I this is for the first that I've heard that, you know, and heard it as is doing that and having it as a benefit. That's really interesting. Yeah, it's like just having someone. Is it the fact that you have just someone that comfort of having another person there or accountability that they're there or both?

SPEAKER_01 31:31

No, not accountability, yeah. It's just having a body. Because I don't care if they if I do it or not for them. It's like just sit by me. Right. Yeah. I love that. Well, I I don't know why, but it works.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

It works. And so, hey, I mean, and you've seen it work in yourself and it works for your daughter. So it's you are definitely onto something, I would say. Yeah, it's a thing for sure. So cool. Well, I love you sharing about this. I think it's really so interesting and also so helpful to anyone else who might be going through a similar experience. And I think, like you're saying, some women are getting diagnosed later on in life. So maybe there's someone listening who, oh my gosh, this is what I'm going through. This sounds like me, you know. Yeah. I think that's the whole point is like to share so that we can help raise each other up in our overall wellness and just living our best lives. And when we can hear other people and what they're experiencing and what helps them, it it's so huge. So thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Happy to share about ADHD all day.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

I love it. It's really, it's really interesting, and I think it's it's so beneficial, and it's so much more common than we realize, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

And I think it makes people like the big ADHD movement right now makes people feel seen and they like understand themselves. And I just think, yeah, once you understand yourself, your life

Sensitivity RSD And Feeling Deeply

SPEAKER_01 33:05

is better. Like I used to think do we have time for a quick story? Sure. I know it's already been 25 minutes. So when I was younger, and I just learned this like the past year in therapy. Um, what was bothering me when my therapist always said, something happened when you were six or seven. Therapist always say that, right? And I'm like, nothing, my life was great. Right. Well, my sister, we're good friends now, okay? But when I was six, she would always call me sensitive six-year-old. And when you have ADHD, you are so sensitive. Uh RSD is a huge thing. We could say for another day, but you feel things so much more intensely than anybody else. So her calling me a sensitive six-year-old, I'm 39 now, I still remember it. I turned seven. It was at my birthday party. I remember the garage and everything about my home. And I walked outside and I told my sister, I'm not, I'm seven. Like I'm so happy. Now I'm seven. And she looked at me and goes, Oh, so now you're a sensitive seven-year-old.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

And I was like, Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Wow. And that stuck with me my whole life. And I always felt I'm too much, I'm too sensitive, I feel too much. Why do why am I crying about everything? Why does someone else cry? I cry for them. Like huge empath. I didn't understand it until I started understanding my brain. And now I'm like, well, that's just me. Like, and I'm okay with that. And going off onto another story, there's somebody I so I work with neurodivergent kids, and there's a little girl that has autism. Pretty bad. And she feels a lot, and she's nonverbal, non-speaking. She can um write through a computer, and it's very hard for her because she understands everything, but she can't speak, and she feels everything so intensely, probably more intensely than I do, is what I'm guessing. Like telepathic stuff. And I told her the other day, I was like, you know, I I can't imagine how hard it is for you. She's only nine. But with ADHD, I feel things a lot too. Like music, like anything. I can feel it through my entire soul. So maybe you can think one day I think you'll talk because I do believe that she'll be able to talk one day. And you are so blessed because you feel more than the average person. Some people don't feel at all. Some people avoid their feelings, they don't even let themselves feel. So they don't anxiety sucks, but if you feel it, you know you're alive. Like euphoria, like that's an amazing feeling, but you're always gonna come down from it. But it means you're alive and you're feeling. So, like, just take try to take the blessing of wow, we feel so much, but at least we feel because it would suck not to feel because either you're not here or you're avoiding your life, which you're masking.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

So good. That is so good, and just beautiful what you just shared, because it's uh it's so true. And in I'm I'm that way to some extent, too, really feeling the emotions of other people, or can see something on TV and I get emotional, especially if it has to do with a mom or kids or what have you. But yeah, I think that you know, if there's a way, and you're you're such a blessing to this nine-year-old, because I'm thinking back to your younger self. If there's there's a way like you understand it now, and you can give your grace yourself grace and understand how your brain works, how can we help young children that are going through the same thing? You know what I mean? Because you hear so many people who carry over into their adult life, just exactly like you said, they were called a certain name, whether they were like, you know, they talk too much or they did this or do that, and then they carry that over and they always they they it becomes a part of them when it really isn't, but because you, you know, we were sensitive to it and you heard it, and you hear those stories a lot.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Yeah, that's so true. It's like you grow up thinking, I'm an emotional person, I'm a sensitive person. When now I'm like, no, I just feel things deeply, so I can show a lot of emotion towards certain things.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

100%. And the thing, like you're saying, too, I'd rather be that than not. And I always say you have to experience the the sadness to be able to experience the joy. And I would rather go through those emotions rather than not feeling at all, like you're saying.

unknown 37:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

Again, it's it's life. Yeah, the light and the dark. Yeah. We want to experience our life and the joy and the energy and the the great times and the sad times, and it's part of the whole journey.

Contact Info Final Advice Kindness

SPEAKER_00 38:07

So how can people reach out to you or you know, contact you if anyone wants to reach out to you? I'll put your contact information also in the show notes. So whatever you'd like to share where you want to have people reach out to you, I'll I'll definitely share also on the show note.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

CaitlinCosta.collabs.com. So that one and then Instagram, I am so active on. So it's Caitlin Costa One. Facebook, not so much. So I would say Instagram and email.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Okay, I'll put those in the show notes. And this has been such a fun, great conversation.

SPEAKER_01 38:42

Again, I know that was a good fun, though.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

A lot of great topics, all so focused on just our overall wellness and our health and our fitness, and just some really, really great conversation. So, so fun. What do you have to share? Any last-minute words of wellness or inspiration for our listeners?

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Um, I would say if I'm going back to ADHD or even fitness, is if you can find something that works for you, then run with that instead of what you're seeing on social media and what you're seeing everyone else doing. Because I think a lot of people think they're lazy or no, I think a lot of people think they're lazy when one thing they may be struggling with is just executive functioning or not the right things for them. So what is the saying one person's something is another person's poison? I don't know if so, like if somebody like thrives on a vegan diet, someone else thrives on a carnivore diet. Like you don't know. So just like figure out what works for you. And I guess my biggest message is just to like stay kind to everyone because you don't know what everyone is going through. And I think everyone's trying to do their best in life. So if we could all just be nice to everybody, then the world would be such a better place. So the biggest thing is you have to work on yourself because if you feel good about yourself, you're not gonna put anyone else down.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

That is so good and so true. I love that. That's perfect. What a wonderful message. That's a perfect, perfect way to end. Thank you for that. Thank you. Oh awesome. Thanks for having me. This was fun. So fun. And we will definitely have to do this again for sure. For sure. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

There's so many more things we haven't covered.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

Oh, I know. We're gonna we're gonna do this again, girl, for sure. We have a lot more topics to dive into for sure. So

Closing Thanks And Listener Requests

SPEAKER_00 40:40

uh just thank you so much. And to all of the listeners, reach out to Caitlin, especially if you resonate with what she's sharing today, because I'm sure that some of you do, and you can tell that she would be a huge support for whatever it is you might be experiencing yourself. So, with that being said, take some time for yourself and your wellness on this day and have a beautiful, blessed rest of your week, everyone. And we'll see you next time on Words of Wellness. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did. And if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review Words of Wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening. And if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelley Jeffries, and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy, and blessed week.