Better Sleep for Neurodivergent Brains

In this solo episode I outline different strategies (all free) that you can implement to get better sleep.

These techniques can work for everyone (and all ages), but I highlight specifically how ADHD and neurodivergent folks may need to adapt or reconsider "typical" advice.

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Transcript

 Hey friends let's talk, sleep. And I know that can be like a really boring topic, but I want to go through a couple of things that you can build into your routine that are not hopefully going to be. Just another thing on your to-do list, but can mean that you actually get better, more restful sleep. Every single night. 

So for those of us that are ADHD, we might struggle with something called.

Delayed phase sleep disorder sometime called delayed melatonin release. And, uh, basically. It is exactly as it sounds,

we sometimes don't get those cues from our body that everybody else does that it is time for sleep. It's time to go to bed until much, much later. But the protocols that I'm going to go through are going to help begin to reset this and begin to schedule that to our body. And our brains hopefully a little bit earlier. 



Now, keep in mind, sleep. 

Disturbances can be an issue for everybody, but especially those of us that are neurodivergent. 

Can experience them more than the general population, or should we say the neuro-typical population? 

Before we jump into the protocol. I just want to take a moment to remind you that I am not a doctor, but these are all evidence-based. They are things that essentially are free. Some of them are actually even going to save you money and. Easy to implement. 



So one of the simplest things that we can do to keep our circadian rhythm, which is essentially what we're working with with sleep, right? 

Like that is that 24 hour cycle that happens in our body. That cues to us, not just when we're tired, but also when we should be eating what we should be moving when our brains should be really, really working. And when our brains should be resting. So with that. Just like any rhythm, right. It's wanting to run on 24 hours. 

So let's assist it in. That is much as you can try and stay consistent with your sleep and wake schedule.  



I want to remind you too, that all these protocols, everything that I am going through is applicable. No matter what age you are. Right? So we see this, especially with kids that might struggle with sleep. 

If we can keep them on a consistent schedule, a consistent sleep and wake time. That is going to help again, reinforce that to their bodies. It's the same thing. When we're adults. It helps reinforce this circadian rhythm to our body. It's why we struggle with things like jet lag. Right? Have you. Ever traveled somewhere quite far from your home time zone. And your whole body is out of whack. 

I am not just saying your sleep like your. Digestive system, your brain feels foggy. Your body in general might feel like really sluggish and just like, Ooh, until you get on that local time zone. 

Our circadian rhythm controls so much. 

So.  As we can support it to kind of just take over optimally every 24 hours. The better we can be. Now, this doesn't mean you can never have fun. You can never have the odd late night out or the odd sleep in. I don't know what that is in my house, but some people might, but it means let's try. And get as consistent as possible the majority of the time. 

And yes, if you do skew that every now and then.  That's okay.  

As my motto always goes in consistently consistent. And in this case, we're just trying to be much more consistent. 

So one of the biggest cues to our circadian rhythm is light and specifically sunlight. As soon as you can, upon waking up. You want to get into direct sunlight?  And ideally you're going to do this. Like actually outside. Now. I know if you're in the middle of winter one, the sun might not even be up when you're awake. 

In that case, you're wanting to turn all the lights of your house on, get it to be as bright as possible. 

And if it's freezing cold again in winter, you might just have to bundle up and go stand outside. So it does make a bit of a difference. As far as if it's really, really bright, sunny, or if it's overcast, if it's really bright, sunny, you really just need a couple of minutes. If it's a bit overcast. Okay, well then we're going to want to stay out there a bit longer and you don't just have to stand out there, right? 

Like you can couple this with other things that we know are good for our body and good for our circadian rhythm and good for our, you know, body rhythms, go for a walk around the block.

Walk the dog. If you want walk your child to school, maybe that's not possible, but you get what I'm saying, right? And again, If you can only be out there for five minutes and it's super overcast, all right. Something is better than nothing. 

And if you know that you are inside. For the majority of the day and you really can't due to work or other commitments get outside so much. Do something like, again, keeping all the overhead lights on during that early part of the day during your work day. Some people even choose to use like an led panel, which you can get super cheap off of the internet.  Um, and that is going to mimic that bright light that we would be getting from sun. 

And this goes also for the tail end of our day  if you can try and view the sunset. Again, that queues to our body. Okay. We're starting to go into the tail end of the evening. You have to think we have only had. This access to 24 hours of light, you know, AKA electricity for such a short amount of time. 

If we look at us as a  species evolutionarily,  as we reset these systems in our body, We're trying to mimic what it would have been like when we were.  Living. Out doors. I am not saying let's go do that. Like I am not a camping girl. I am just saying, let's keep this in mind as we move forward. 

So yes, if you can viewing the sunset also. Lower the lights. Physically. And in brightness, right? Let's call it like one to three hours before you go to sleep. Consider doing things like using laps or like our Scandi friends candles. Both the brightness being lower, also called lumens, but the Preakness being lower and the physical loneliness mimicking again, that sunset where the sun is more on the horizon instead of over us. 



That is going to be that signal to your body to begin releasing melatonin, that sleepy hormone. 

We talked about it earlier. Yes, many neurodivergent people, especially. Those of us with ADHD. Can have this delayed sleep phase syndrome, delayed melatonin. But all of these things we're doing in this sleep protocol and you don't have to do all of them. Great. If you do, but like pick a couple and implement them and see if they help. But what we're doing here is we are trying to set our body up.  To work with the rhythm we need. 

So you're not.

Attempting to go to bed at 10:00 PM and then you're not actually tired and your body is wired and you're laying there for two hours. You know, that also comes in with. Anxiety hot tip friends. It is also a struggle of peri-menopause being what's sometimes called like tired, but wired. You're exhausted, but you're laying there and you can't sleep. 



And if you're not quite in perimenopause yet, I will probably bet if you really tune into it, there are probably two or three days in your cycle around week three, where that tends to happen. 

You either have worst sleep or you're laying there exhausted, but you can actually go to sleep. Thank you, progesterone. 

But if we can book end our days getting bright, bright light, ideally sunlight, first thing in the morning. And then at the end of the night, having the lights lower, having the brightness go down. 

And what's the light that everyone bangs on about for the evenings. Use less of yeah. Screen time, you know, where that was going, you know, where that was going. Especially for those of us that might have other letters, but like, especially ADHD.  A lot of the times we use screen time as our decompression that helps us unwind because left alone with our minds. 

It's not always a fun place. Right. I know. Yes, of course consider, consider switching to an actual book or a magazine or et cetera, but you know what, I'm not going to push that because I struggle to do that also.

And this is where, what I am saying and recommending in these protocols is going to go greatly differ from a lot of the sleep experts out there. Remind you, I am not a doctor, but I am neurodivergent and I am someone who has had to take. Typical advice and tailor it for myself, which is what I have done for you here. Yes. Mostly experts are going to tell you only use your bed for sleep and.



Quote-unquote relations. 

K. Because otherwise it cues to our body that.  When we are in that. 

Environment when we are in bed, it is only for sleep or quote-unquote relations. Right. But. I also understand and have the lived experience of being a neurodivergent person. And I know that a lot of us, as I said, we struggle with that decompression. So even when we are doing all of these things that I am talking about  in this protocol to help. Cure body for sleep and get ready for sleep. 

Sometimes we still just need that. What I sometimes call like zombie time at the end of the day, where. Your brain might not quite be ready for sleep, but it just wants to zone out. So, as I've said, that is where I'm implementing my lived experience as a neurodivergent person. And I am telling you how to adapt something like using your screen. And making it a little bit more friendly to try and get to sleep. 

And I'm not going to chastise you and tell you to get rid of it completely. Like a lot of. Sleep experts 

or sleep advice with state because I know for a lot of us that is just not realistic.

I like throwing on some mindless TV and allowing myself just to like zone out and tell my body actually feels tired. But do consider things like switching to passive screen use. 



So this is going to be, yeah, you can still scroll, but you're doing it with minimal interaction.  It is that like truly, truly mindless scrolling. Watching something that is not mentally engaging, right? Like I always just put on trash TV, reality TV. Or like a, feel-good still reality TV, but you know, maybe not as trashy.  Or playing like really easy and repetitive games.  And one thing I know everyone bangs on about blue light and yes, the color makes a difference.  Arguably.  But the brightness is the biggest thing. 

So having a phone right in your face, that's so, so bright, even if you've done the low lights. You know, for the hour or a couple before you go to bed, this bright phone right in your face is undoing. All of that potentially good work.  Try and distance the screen from your body that might be. You know, like. Holding the phone farther away, but what I really mean. Is consider switching from like your phone to like a TV. You know, maybe a TV at the end of the bed that is going to be way less obtrusive and way less bright. Then your phone right in front of your face. If you do want to use your phone, right? 

Because. You know what I do it, we all do it sometimes. Sometimes. Some of us do it more than others.  Consider things like going into dark mode. Turning your screen, brightness down as absolutely low as possible. And then again, holding it a little bit farther away. Simple things. We're still trying to set ourselves up. 

And even if you can set it down 10 minutes before you're trying to like actually go to sleep. Just releasing it from yourself as. I was kind of early as possible, 

but again, some of us use it as that. Like zombie stimulation. What I often call it. 

 Say you've done the lights. You've let go of the phone and you're still laying there wired. Well, one of the things we want to look at is obviously if you're on stimulant medication, like if you have ADHD medication, Look at what time you're taking that.  But also caffeine. Right? So we all know caffeine can sometimes keep us awake. 

Even if you're someone who responds really well to caffeine and to stimulant medication, right. Caffeine can still. Keep your nervous system pretty revved up. 

So I Deely, we're trying to avoid caffeine.  At least, and this is an at least. Six hours from your desired sleep onset time. But, but really it's like for most people it's going to be closer to 10 hours. So let's just do some maths here, right? And I'm not great at math, but say you want to go to sleep at 10. Minus 10 hours. 

That means your last coffee is going to need to be at noon.  

Just think about that for a second.  

And truly there are some people who do not seem to be. Bothered by caffeine, but keep in mind, it might not just be keeping you up. It might mean that you're not getting into as deep or as restful of sleep when you actually go to sleep.  



And now I'm telling you have coffee no later than noon. And the next thing I'm going to say is considered delaying your coffee when you wake up. 

 Let me explain this. If you wake up and you either haven't had super restful sleep, you haven't had enough sleep, essentially. You've woken up and you're still really, really tired. Okay. Like your dragon. The first thing we often do is head for that pot of coffee, right? Like, we're like, oh, I just want that little like.  Wake me up. And for me, I enjoy the ritual of coffee, just as much as the actual taste and flavor. 

And like, I don't actually really feel much benefits from it as far as effects from it, but I liked the ritual of it. 

The issue is when we look at our biology caffeine. A which is the hormone that actually keeps us asleep. So melatonin. Helps us go to sleep adenosine, this lesser known, known hormone. Is what keeps us asleep. So caffeine and adenosine fight for receptors in our brain. What does that mean? 

Okay. We wake up. We're still super tired. That means we still have adenosine floating around in our system. We haven't used it all up yet. Right. Because we haven't had enough sleep or we haven't had restful sleep. 

We go, we have a drink of coffee. You know, a cup of coffee. And the caffeine. Basically rushes to the front of the line and binds to the receptors within our bodies, within our brains. And the, adenosine continues just floating around us, but the caffeine is bound to the receptors. So for that little while our body might be like, yep, I'm sweet. 

I'm good. I'm not tired anymore. I've had my pick-me-up, but what happens.  Roughly six to eight hours later. When that caffeine wears off and those receptors free up.  Then the Denison's like, yes, sweet. It's my turn in line. Okay. They bind to the receptors and suddenly you feel really tired. You know that. Mid-afternoon crash could be due to the fact that you've had coffee too early in the morning. So you've still had to adenosine floating around your system.  Right. 

And then once the caffeine from the coffee's worn off. The adenosine and comes to the forefront and you suddenly feel so tired.  And tell your body washes through that. 

And if you do reach for that coffee, because we all do it sometimes. And you get that mid afternoon crash. So things that can help movement. Okay. That helps burn through it quicker. 

Allowing yourself, just a few moments to actually like rest and relax. Literally just sitting there, closing your eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths. 

And really, really hydrating, not with more caffeine.  Even though that's probably what you want to do. But a hydrating with ideally water.  

So if you're laying in bed at night tired, but you can't go to sleep. Things to look at. Obviously the timing of if you're on it, stimulant medication. And then also how late was your last coffee? And then on the flip side of that, If you wake up really tired still, can you delay your coffee and you don't have to, like, this can feel really hard if you are always someone who has coffee, first thing in the morning. I'm saying take some steps to get there. The first day you might delay it for 10 or 15 minutes and you might do that for a few days and we're building up to where you can delay it for 60 to 90 minutes. And I know that might sound like a long time, but you will be surprised if you are someone who always goes for it. 

First thing, as you build in your morning routine, where you're delaying a little bit more, a little bit more, there are so many days where my morning just goes and we get caught up doing stuff and it's 11 o'clock and I haven't had any coffee yet. 



There are other days where I wake up and I have it first thing. 

So it's called balance people.  

Now another drink that I want to talk about avoiding because it does disrupt sleep. And sleep quality is alcohol.  Everyone has. Able to make their own decisions, their own choices, as far as what they have. I am simply just going to put it out there that alcohol disrupts your sleep quality. 

I know a lot of people use it to help wind down and relax after a stimulating day. But. 

Only two drinks. Obviously, if you have more, it's going to affect it more, but just two drinks. Can . 

Disrupt your sleep quality by 39%. So that means you're not actually getting into those deep sleeps that are actually. Restorative for our bodies. It means you were staying in this. Much more superficial. Phase of sleep.  

. 

And because I don't want anyone to feel judged for their choices. I'm just going to leave that there. 

And then the last little thing. That you can do to help cue your body time to go to bed. As far as, you know, releasing that melatonin, getting your body's. Signals, all working in rhythm to start to head to bed is having a warm shower or bath, like one to two hours before bed. What this does, it lowers your core body temperature. 

And again, it cues that release of the sleep signals to your body. You can also do it by just lowering the ambient temperature in your home. So say if you're in the middle of winter, you're going to be turning the heater off potentially or turning it much down. And if you're in. 

Summer, depending on where you are, it might be opening the windows so you can get that cool evening breeze to come in. 



Now for my last two little strategies, these are, you've done all these things. You've helped your body. You've cued your body and you're still laying in bed. Unable to actually fall asleep. So first consider doing like a brain dump and this can be however you want. It can be actually. Writing stuff down on a notepad or in a journal, it can be doing voice memos to yourself. Sometimes it's literally just having a bit of a chat with your partner where you're both more just getting stuff off your chest instead of actually talking. But if you find that when you are. Trying to go to sleep and you're struggling due to the racing thoughts. The brain dump can be really, really good because oftentimes what it is is our brain just going over and over stuff. Trying to one either remember, or just ruminating on things. 

So allowing yourself to get that out. Kind of cues to our brain, like, okay. Yep. I've dealt with that. I'm good. Let's go to bed. And then the last thing.  

Listening to something that's guided. So you can do guided body scans, guided what's called non sleep deep rest.  Hypnotherapy. These are all evidence-based and they can be utilized either to get you to sleep. Or if you're someone who struggles with waking up in the middle of the night and then you can't go back to sleep. You can also use them then. So it's very easy again. 

I've said don't use your phone, but you can queue them up on your phone. You can use your headphones. If you sleep by yourself or with someone who doesn't mind, obviously you can just play it through a speaker and you don't have to worry about anything in your ears. But. There are thousands and thousands and thousands out there, depending on what your vibe is and what you choose. 

But like I said, it would be hypnotherapy body scans.  Some people even just like to listen to like sleep stories. I know most of the . Meditation and mindfulness apps have those now sleep stories. 

But the idea here is something where your brain can disengage a little bit. 

Right? So you're going into this much more.

Liminal transitional state of being like fully awake to fully asleep. So that's why the guided body scans are good. 

Guided breathwork.  All these things, whatever you choose, it's where your mind isn't having to sink. You're simply just following along and listening. To what the person is saying.  I know some people like to do podcast and stuff. 



If that's your thing, gray. I would just say maybe something where your mind is not super, super engaged, right? 

You don't want to be half asleep and then you hear something that like perks you up. 

 As always, this has gone on much longer than I have anticipated. All of these are actually from my free download called better sleep for neurodivergent brains. But hot tip. It's actually good for all brains. Um, we just tend to notice having sleep issues a bit more. So I'll include a link to that. 

If you do want the actual download, it's a nice little thing just to have on hand, to be able to look through. I wanted to run through it and give everyone a bit more context, a bit more information 

and remind you that we do not need to have this love, hate relationship with sleep.