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Attempting Motherhood
Attempting Motherhood: The Aud Way is a podcast for late diagnosed or late realised ADHD / AuDHD mothers.
It is hosted by Sam, an AuDHD ( autistic + ADHD ) elder millennial mom.
Episodes cover topics pertaining to motherhood, neurodivergence, the combination of those two and how they intersect.
Remember in this wild ride of motherhood, we're all attempting to do our best.
Attempting Motherhood
Realistic Budgeting & Side Hustle Options for ADHD/ AuDHDers - Steph from Abundant on a Budget
This week I'm joined by Steph from Abundant on a Budget.
I cannot even explain how much I learned from this conversation! She talks about budgeting and how to make it realistic - meaning you'll actually stick to it- as a neurodivergent person. She share how you can make money doing side hustles (surveys, user testing, etc) with no experience or huge social media following necessary.
Since Steph is neurodivergent and has lived with chronic illness she's always explored how to do things "differently". We discuss her realisation of being neurodivergent and what lead her to start budgeting and sharing her content.
Links:
AUS Side Hustle Masterclass
US Side Hustle Masterclass
UpBank $10
1:1 Budget Coaching
Substack
Follow Steph:
IG: AbundantOnABudget
Tiktok: AbundantOnABudget
Want to get in touch? Send us a message!
Thank you for listening!
If you like this episode please share, rate, review, and subscribe.
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Coaching and free resources:
AttemptingMotherhood.com
Attempting Motherhood Community (7-day all access trial +20% off first month in The Membership) The community space is completely free, but you can trial access to all spaces for 7 days and then decide if you want to join The Membership.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, medical professional, or mental health professional.
I am sharing my lived experience. If you relate to any of the content in these episodes, do your own research and speak to a medical professional if needed.
There are free resources available in my links:
https://linktr.ee/samattemptsmotherhood
If you enjoyed this episode please share, subscribe, rate, and review. Each time you do our little community grows.
Follow Sam:
https://www.tiktok.com/@samattemptsmotherhood
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https://www.instagram.com/attemptingmotherhood.pod/
For more information and resources head to: https://linktr.ee/samattemptsmotherhood
Buy me a coffee (an opportunity to show appreciation for the content you've enjoyed).
Hello friends. So my guest today is Steph from abundant on a budget. If you follow her on either Tik, TOK or Instagram, you will know as the name implies that she talks all about budgeting. And.
The thing that I love is because she's neurodivergent, she does this in a way that is so neurodivergent friendly.
In her content and what we discussed today, she shares how you can do side hustles to make money.
How you can implement budgeting in an way that you are going to actually follow through with, instead of just feeling like you are. Pinching pennies at every corner and not allowing yourself to have any fun. And we also talk about how her and her husband have done a no by year, this year. Which has a i explain. Kind of makes my stomach go in my throat a little bit, even at just the thought of it.
So.
Have a listen. I hope you learn loads. I absolutely learned a lot from this conversation. And all of the links and things that she references are in the show notes.
And the last little comment before we jump in, if you haven't already go ahead and subscribe, hit that little plus button. And if you really enjoy this, please share it with a friend who you think might also enjoy it now. On to our conversation. 📍
I appreciate you so much taking the time. And I'm really excited because I followed you for. I don't know quite a while I got super into budgeting earlier in the year like in February and I've been down this rabbit hole and you know how like algorithms algorithm and you popped up on my tick tock one day and I was like, Oh my God, this is like such good info because it's actionable and tangible, but it's bite size and that's what I need
so, we'll talk all about yes, your tick tock and your budgeting journey and all of that. But. As we just talked about, you recently figured out that you're neurodivergent, so if you want to share a little bit about that, and then we'll just go on from there.
Yeah, sounds good. So, start of the year, I actually started studying again, which was insane.
And the first week of being in lectures, I remember sitting at my desk, because it was all online, but it was like a three hour long lecture or something, and I remember sitting there having this déjà vu, almost, of, I was just struggling to focus, struggling to pay attention, no matter what I did, and I was like, I've slept enough what's going on with this?
And I just had this moment of, oh my goodness, this is how I felt all through school. Oh my goodness, and it never stood out to me enough in the moment to realise. And I got through school okay, because I was smart enough to at least pass stuff in my own time, yeah, and it just I don't know, some switch just flicked in my mind and I went, Hang on a second!
Maybe, okay, that's interesting, and just sat on it for a while because my husband has ADHD, so I was already a little bit familiar with it, and the more that I thought about it, the more I was like, well, we bounce off each other quite well in those kind of It makes sense, but yeah, it's not anything that we had ever really talked about, it just was how we lived our lives.
And I think I'm, I feel like I'm just good at coping mechanisms, like I always have been. I've had chronic illness since I was 17, so, or that's when I got diagnosed with chronic illness stuff, so I've just gotten used to not doing things the way everyone else does anyway, and I think in some ways that just covered up a lot of this stuff.
I already knew that I don't necessarily live exactly the way everyone else does, and so it just wasn't remarkable in some ways. Yeah, and so I just started looking into it more, and as we all know, the algorithm's algorithm. So, of course I started looking into it on social media. I'm very I like data, and I like facts, which is great.
is not shocking to anyone. So I didn't want to just like self diagnose with some TikToks and that's all, because there's a lot of misinformation out there as well, I think. And a lot of sensationalizing things that like, okay, yes, some neurodivergent people do that, but also some neurotypical people do that.
It's not necessarily if you do that one thing, you're neurodivergent. But yeah, it got me to seek out a psychologist and stuff that actually works with neurodivergent people and does assessments, and yeah. So we did some preliminary testing stuff, and she's look, I don't recommend anyone to get a Like to actually go forth with a, with an assessment unless I'm pretty sure because it's obviously a big financial commitment to get assessed.
Yeah, so we did some preliminary stuff and she was like, look, I think it would be worth getting assessed. I went, oh, okay. Yeah, so I haven't technically been formally assessed. Just because it does cost a lot of money, and obviously And wait
times, even. Even if you have the money to do it, the times to get in for some places, and if, in the difference, obviously, if you want to go public versus private in public.
It's ridiculous.
There basically is no public system. I was talking to my doctor about that, actually, the other week, and he was like, yeah, there's basically no public system here in Australia, because everything has so many waitlists, and the waitlist is so long, that there's, it basically doesn't exist anymore.
People can't be put on the waitlist anymore, because it's so long. Yeah. Yeah, so, and there's only certain things that Medicare even covers especially with ADHD it's got to be coded in a certain way for it to be, like, half covered by Medicare, and you still end up paying. Yeah,
so if you're a psychiatrist, you're a diagnosing psychiatrist, for some reason, doesn't think that you have adequately proved or given evidence that you exhibited traits in childhood.
They will diagnose you with adult ADHD, which as we know, there is no like adult onset. It's just you may realize in adulthood, if you have true ADHD, you've had it since childhood. But if it's not, Again, for some reason, your diagnosing psychiatrist does not feel you have adequately proven that, they will diagnose you with adult ADHD, and if they diagnose you with that, your medication is not subsidized, versus if they just diagnose you with regular ADHD.
Yeah, if they are. If they say that you've like adequately proven that you did exhibit signs in childhood, especially pre 12 years old, then you're diagnosed and then your medication is subsidized and it is, it's about 50 percent ish. So it goes then from being like, for most scripts around 60 a month to being around 30 a month.
Oh
my goodness, that's so expensive.
Yeah. Wow. Wow, which is like again a flow on thing right of the cost of it's not just the cost of the diagnosis, but then it's the cost of the maintenance of if you do choose to take medication and that's just one medication and there are some people who take.
multiple medications. There's some people who take , I have multiple stimulants because I do cyclic dosing. So that it's just all a cost that I think people, especially, I get real peeved when people are like, oh, everyone has ADHD. And it's so easy to get diagnosed. You just go to your doctor and I'm like, oh my God, you've obviously never gone through the process.
And you also, the same
with autism. Oh my God, it's ridiculous. Yeah, I'm like, the process is so extensive.
So, to get an autistic diagnosis, I think it's the same everywhere, but I know in Australia, it is like, two to three times more than getting an ADHD diagnosis. It's so expensive.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Like you have to be like, well, am I going to take it out of my house deposit? Am I going to take it out? Like it, it's a chunk that comes out of something else, some other goal, essentially. And that can be. really hot to
swallow. Which is I think self diagnosis in general is valid, but especially when we look at something like autism, there are so many factors.
One, the cost and versus ADHD, right? If you choose to get formally diagnosed, then you have the option of medication. With autism, if you choose to get formally diagnosed, That you've just had someone validate what you already know, most likely. There isn't medication, there isn't, and especially now, with I'm gonna get on a little soapbox, with like, all of the changes to NDIS in Australia, which I know the same thing is happening in the NHS in the UK,
but treatments and like options that might have been subsidized previously are now getting axed.
No, I get what you mean. Yeah. So we
have for you a informal confirmation from your site. And I think, I don't know, I don't know if people talk about your neurodivergent radar
I'll just say the more informed you are. It's quite easy for me now to , pick I'll be at a cafe and be talking to a mom and I'm very open about talking about being ADHD and the rest of it. And the mom will be like, Oh yeah, me too. And I'd be like, There's a reason I'm talking to you for more than two minutes.
I know. But I think, I'm not saying it comes across on your TikTok and on your videos, but there's a reason that I was like, oh. I get what she's saying and the way you present stuff is, while you don't purposely do it this way, I think just because you are, it is very neurodivergent friendly.
You do love a spreadsheet, which is, hard for me. But
I love a simple spreadsheet.
That's it. It has to be simple.
Yes. And that's only because I've tried all the apps and things, I'm like, this is not it's not neurodivergent friendly. So, all of the apps, I'm like this is just not going to work, because this is too intense, too intensive, too much effort, too much hands on.
And that's the only reason I like my spreadsheet.
But I think with a lot of us, that's the issue with budgeting, like creating a budget, sticking to a budget, is it feels so hard. It feels like there's so many steps and the times that I've tried to be really on top of it in the past, it feels like a part time job because I feel like I have to it is something that I constantly have to be, putting this in here and doing this.
So let's like pull it way, way back and just talk about how you got into budgeting first.
Yeah, well, neurodivergent people aren't exactly notorious for being great at budgeting. Let's just say. Especially when you are undiagnosed or just not really aware of yourself and the way your brain works.
And that was very much my husband and I when we got married. And yeah, we just, we also hadn't had a lot of budgeting modeled to us. So I was naturally a saver, thank goodness, because I don't know what we would do if I won.
Ah, your husband sounds like mine.
Yeah. And he fully knows that I talk about this stuff and he doesn't mind.
We've come to that point of accepting ourselves, but yeah he's not the budgeter. I do all of the budgeting and all of the finance management, and he just sticks to the system, and that's been what's worked for us, but yeah we went through periods where we couldn't afford to pay rent we were living in people's spare rooms, which Feels embarrassing, sometimes, but also, it is what it is.
We, like I said, we didn't really have a lot of budgeting modeled to us, and But I
also
think,
That is such a common experience, especially for those of us that have the ADHD piece I 100 percent have also had times in my life where it wasn't because I didn't have a job, I wasn't making income, it was because I was Poorly managing my money.
And the rent bill came due, or the electric bill came due, and I was like, Ooooooh.
Yeah, and being, like, having chronic illness myself, that's also added to the strain, because I, have never really been able to manage a full time job, combine the neurodivergence with the chronic illness and it's just not feasible.
Like the one or two times I've had a full time job I've burnt out drastically and ended up really sick. So that's been hard. So the, there was times where like my husband injured his back at one point just after we got married and had to take two weeks off work and that just financially destroyed us because we had no savings.
We didn't. have an emergency fund, none of that. So if we had, we would have been fine. But we didn't. And so we had to move out of our house, and yeah. It just, there was a couple years there that were really awful. And so, I think it was 2019, we finally got back into our own place after a year or two of bouncing around a bit.
And I just went, Never again. That's not happening again. I can't do that. It's stressful. I want my own space. I want my safe space, especially living in other people's spaces is not something I'm good at, I've realized. I like the control over my environment and to be able to just be quiet and not have to talk to people and all that kind of stuff.
My de stress time. Yeah. And so once we finally got back into our own place, I was like, we are never losing this. ever again. And so, step one for us wasn't actually saving money, it was just living within our means and actually knowing where our money went. We started very bare bones and yeah, just slowly, Went on from there, and it's honestly only been the last year or two that we've gone, okay emergency fund, we really need to work on that, and part of that is just that it took us a while to get a system that worked for us, because we tried the whole actual cash envelope thing, and I couldn't deal with that, I'm like, there's too many moving parts, I have to go to the bank every fortnight and get the cash out, it's just not working, and, Obviously having two people, I feel like cash envelopes would be better for single people rather than couples and families.
Because Tilda Or if only one person really did all the money stuff. Yeah. Tilda Yeah. Matt, my husband, would stop by the grocery store on the way home and he didn't have the cash with him. There was just too many barriers in the way. And so it's just taken a lot of trial and error.
And I think if we'd known more about our neurodivergence earlier, it may have not taken so long, but At the same time. Story of all our lives. Right? So we've learned a lot because of it, and it's thank goodness it's become a special interest of mine. Let's be real. Yeah. So, yeah, here we are.
And then this year I was like, okay we've gotten better at the basics. We budget for our groceries, we budget for our bills are getting paid on time, automatically, everything's great, time to deal with the impulse spending. And that's when I, yeah, suggested to my husband we do the no buy year, and he was like,
okay.
I like when every time you talk about it, it makes my heart stop a little bit. And I'm not an impulse shopper, but the idea of I don't know, and I know you guys budget for this, but like the idea of me not just being able to be like, we're gonna go to a cafe today and have a coffee and whatever whatever it is, the idea of just not having that it makes me
Huh.
I get that. And I think, Part of the reason it's worked so well for us has been that as far as going out goes, we already weren't really going out very much because we just didn't have the money for it. So we weren't in the habit of casually going, Oh, let's go to a cafe. It's just not something that we've really done.
It's something we'd like to do, but it's not really something we've ever done. And so we didn't have to curb that habit. It was mostly just Kmart trips, and Aldi trips, and the 10, 20 things that The amount of money I spend at Kmart. Oh
my god. It's so easy. I should buy stocks because, my god.
I'm trying I'm actually consciously trying to not. Especially as far as their clothing, because I'm attempting, to move a little bit away from as much fast fashion, and trying to be a little bit more conscious with my, Money going towards certain, clothing things. Yeah, but I think it's a great, and it's like a really accessible tip that you said that one, you started with just seeing where your money went and trying to live within your means.
And knowing that if you didn't have money to order takeout, you weren't going to be ordering takeout and that you saved dealing with impulse spending until. The last, because I think most budgeting and money advice will tell us, which is very not neuro friendly to deal with your impulse spending first, which like, that's great.
But as we know, it's not just impulse spending. There are so many layers with when it is matched to, yeah, when it is ADHD, like you're most likely not just going out and spending money on whatever Because you feel, it is because you feel like it, but there are so many layers, and especially when we look at, say, women with ADHD, we know cyclically there are times in your cycle where you're more likely to be impulsive.
Sometimes that comes out in spending, sometimes that comes out in who knows what else, speeding and risky behavior and all the rest of it. But I love that you saved that to be like one of the last things. that you've dealt with. So it sounds like your husband is a bit like my partner with the impulse spends.
How has he been able to manage it?
So I think it's been the caveats that we had partly. So we did agree because one of our goals this year, which we didn't really like fully get to, but one of our goals this year was to Get out of the house a little bit more, in low cost ways, but we just were like, okay, maybe we shouldn't just sit at home, like, all the time?
we want to see things? If we actually sit down and think about it, yeah we want to go see that thing and that thing. We just don't gravitate to do that. So we said, okay, we're going to, allow ourselves to spend 30 bucks a month, if we want to, on like low cost tickets or getting lunch at a bakery, like something that would be cheap, that kind of thing.
Also, we didn't just ban takeout, because I feel like, again, people make all of these strict rules, and I feel like this counts for neurotypicals as well, they make all these strict rules, and then they don't stick to them, and then they fall off the bandwagon, and then they just sit and beat themselves up.
And they don't try again for another six months. And I'm like, well, if you just met yourself halfway, and went, okay, I know this is gonna be difficult, so I'm going to leave a couple things in place, so that it's not impossible for me, and I actually acknowledge my limits and my abilities, whatever they are I think that helps.
So we were like, okay, we're not going to ban takeaway completely, we're just going to mandate that it has to like, come from our grocery budget. So that still puts quite a limit on it, but also it encourages us to spend less at the grocery store also, because if we've got a little bit of extra money left over, we can get takeout.
So it also built in a bit of a reward at the same time as giving us, And out if we really needed it and also he is very into Magic the Gathering, and, which is a card game that he absolutely loves, and he has a whole bunch of cards for that, and they're all worth different amounts of money and stuff like that people definitely buy and sell magic cards.
A lot. And that was, that's his massively a special interest of his, and I just left that alone. So sometimes he will sell cards to buy other cards, and I it's its own little economy. Yes, yeah. His magic cards are their own little economy, and if he sells stuff to buy something else, like, all power to him, kind of thing.
So, I think that Helped that he still had that little option of okay, I really want this card. Oh, but I don't really need this one anymore. So I can sell that, get that. And it wasn't taking money out of the budget. So I think that helped.
Oh my god, you're giving me so many ideas. Because one of my partners like, thing thing is he's gotten into NBA cards and they do like I didn't I did not realize the community involved in this like he buys I don't even remember what the he buys like decks of cards I don't I'm sure they're not called decks and then he watches these lives of people doing card breaks where they open up The deck and you get it.
You have to sit there and go through each card and see if there's anything great. And I think it's the most boring thing in the world, but it is like a thing for him. But you're right. You're like saying that your husband's cards is like its own economy. I'm like, I need to put that rule in place
because.
The amount of money that has gone to cards this year.
Yeah, it's so, it's such an expensive hobby.
Because he'll get one and be like, oh, this cards worth blah blah blah and I'm like, not if you don't sell it. It's just, it's sitting there, costing whatever you paid for.
Pretty much. It's like that's a really long term yield investment.
Right? Long term.
Yeah, but that's what I love. You guys did with your no spend year, you didn't just say we're just not going to do anything fun. You put parameters in place and you do allow yourself to still go out and especially I think the takeaway thing, not eliminating that completely, we do have to consider like the added neurodivergence in your house and being a spoonie, like there are just days where you literally don't have energy or executive function to cook.
Yeah.
And so I know you've done meal prepping and stuff also that probably helps on those days, but you do, you just need those days where you're like, you know what, we're just going to order pizza or whatever.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly, and even like frozen meals and frozen pizzas, like we factor that into, well I factor it because I do the groceries and stuff I factor that into our meal plan and our groceries, like we've always got at least a couple of frozen meals and a frozen pizza because Matt is obsessed with pizza, if you ask him what he wants, it's burgers or pizza, that's it which makes it very easy to buy for, but yeah, I've just, I've always got stuff like that in the freezer as well, cause, Okay.
Yeah, if we need it. And I think fighting against your natural inclinations there's a certain amount of it that self discipline is good, but there's also a certain amount of it where if you're not a math person, you can't just magically become a math person. No matter how strong your will and determination is.
It's not going to happen like that. So, yeah. And like I said, I think I've just lived my whole life coming up with accommodations and coping mechanisms. And so it's just how I think now. Like everything, the way I think is just, okay, how do I make this work for me? How do I make it work for us? And what do we actually need?
So, yeah little things like that I think have just Thankfully become second nature thinking that way, but yeah, I think even just from neurotypicals people just set challenges that are too hard or they undervalue longevity and actually sticking to something over time. They go, oh, I'm going to do this new year challenge and we're going to see it, January's coming, where everyone gets on a new exercise challenge, everyone gets on a new budgeting challenge, and if you don't make it realistic, you're not going to stick to it, and if you're not going to stick to it, honestly, there's no point.
Being blunt, but budgeting for one month yeah, okay, that might be good, you might save 500, but if you save 500, you fall off the bandwagon massively, you'll just spend the 500. If
you And probably more. I know in times in the past when I've done that where I've tried to Really limit myself.
I've gone probably too strict with it. And then as soon as that thing is over or see, as soon as I slip up a little bit and my brain's well, that was a write off, then I go way beyond. Say in the 500, I wouldn't just spend 500, it would be like 600, 700. Exactly.
Same thing. And you're also not saving anymore.
So you're in a worse position than when you started. You actually need to make it something that is actually going to work in the long run. And I've seen this even when I was like doing social media coaching and all that kind of stuff. People always set goals. unrealistic goals, and then they don't break them down.
Sometimes there's no problem with setting unrealistic goals that can motivate you, and even if you get halfway to an unrealistic goal, that's amazing. But if you're not taking that big goal and then breaking it down into bite sized chunks that you can actually work on, there's no point. There's just no point.
And, I don't know, maybe it's the part of my brain that is, obsessed with planning things, but I think it's that, where it's well, you, what's the saying? You fail to plan, you plan to fail. I really live my life by that, I think. Yeah. So, yeah, I think people just need to be realistic with their budgeting.
And like for ADHDers, we need small rewards along the way. We don't do longevity well because time doesn't exist. Yep. So if your goal is to save, let's say, 1, 000, don't have the only reward you get be whatever the thing that the 1, 000 is for. It needs to be like, you saved 100, you get Something and even if it's, you get to go to your favorite cafe and have your most favorite pastry and that's the only time you allow yourself to do it is every time you hit a hundred dollar mark or something like that.
But we need these primers for motivation and something that's too far beyond, it doesn't work.
Yeah. And I think that's part of why I've really liked UpBank. I've talked about them a lot on my socials recently. We switched them. Maybe four, five months ago, I want to say, from ING, and they gamify everything, like it's a neurodivergent best friend, as far as banking goes.
But even the Savers accounts, you can go in there and it like, Ah, you know those toys that were like, they, very 90s, it was like a fish tank sort of thing, and you could watch the glitter and the little things like float around in it when you tipped it back and forth? It does that in your little savings account, depending on how much money you've got in there.
So if it's 50 percent to your goal, it will be 50 percent full and you can just watch the money, so to speak, roll around and it's an oddly satisfying visual. I love that. Yeah, even if you don't set up the whole go and get a pastry thing, which is a great idea, by the way, I love that. But even if you don't set that up, you've still got that dopamine notification sort of thing.
Even when you get to, 50 percent of your goal, they'll be like, Hey, you got to 50 percent of your goal, yay! You get a little thing and a notification, you can see the percentage you're at and all that kind of stuff. So it's the little visuals, even, that just Once, again, once you understand your brain and how it works, especially for me, because I do like budgeting, and I'm more inclined to be a saver, that helps me to be like, Oh my goodness, look at the, I can watch the money roll around, it's so fun!
that's enough for me personally, and it feeds into my husband's needs as well, because then I get really excited, so then he can feed off my excitement and just works really well, so. And
the visual visuals are so good for us, it is a nice way, because I think sometimes, when you just see a number, even if you know your goal, again, say a thousand dollars and You're like, oh, okay, whatever.
But being able to see, okay, that's 20 percent full. Yeah. It's a really nice representation. And I know you've talked to about with up bank and this is like not an ad for them, even though I do hope they're paying you because you do talk about them a lot. But you've talked about, you can have as many envelopes as you want quote unquote envelopes, because that is something that I have said.
For us in the past, I've thought about well, God, I need to just go take a bunch of cash out and do actual envelopes because having just a one savings account and then expecting mentally to be like, okay, well, X amount is for this and X amount is for this and most banks limit you to how many you can have versus, like you've said, you can have one just for, I don't know, let's call it car maintenance and one for it can really be broken down.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm gonna look up how many I have right now. I've got my car, grocery, savings, because we shop monthly, which is another thing that's actually really helped our budget, but I put money away fortnightly, because that's how we budget.
So I have a little savings, groceries, and a spending groceries account bills, emergency fund, gifts, rent, grocery spending, like I said, health, fuel, pets yeah pay, because my husband gets paid. weekly at the moment, but I didn't want to change our system. So I'm like, I'm just going to put it away.
And I get paid so inconsistently and randomly that it just worked to have that fun misc, which is like a new one I've just implemented. But yeah, like this, I think technically they do have a limit and I think it's 50. I think I read that the other day. That's plenty. Yeah.
I super compartmentalize, but I think I can limit myself to 50
So yeah, it's good. Can
you
hide them? Can you make it to where they don't pop up straight away?
So, you can lock your saver, and you can hide your saver. locking it, fantastic for impulse spending, locks it for three hours you, like, when you swipe to unlock, it kicks off a three hour timer, and you have to wait the three hours before you can actually get into it but they also do have, an emergency you can, give a key, so to speak, to your friend, and , you can ask them for faster access if you're like, actually in an emergency.
Yeah. But yeah, you can lock it, and then you can also, , you can also hide it. Then it just wouldn't be visible in your list, and we all know. Outside Out of Mind can be a powerful tool if we use it to our advantage.
Very much. Because I don't know if these are actual terms.
I haven't really read many budgeting books, but I am more like you, like a saver. I want a physical safety net as far as I want cash under the mattress, so to speak. My partner is more like, let's pay down all our debt and then we'll have money later on. And I'm like, but what about things that happen right now, like emergencies that we need money for?
So he is much better with a If we have a hidden account that he doesn't see, because if he looks in savings, and there's extra money in there, extra, it's not extra, it's savings, but, he'll be like, oh sweet, I'll just put more on the mortgage, and I'm like
No. Yeah. Yeah. And this is the thing, it's, I feel like for some couples it would be controversial, but Matt can't see half of those savings accounts.
By choice, like we went through and we had a full discussion about it, and he knows they're there. He just. Instead of hiding them, because I still want to be able to see them yeah, he just essentially can't see them. technically I could give him access in two seconds, And we talk about finances a lot, but yeah, he can't see half of them, and that just helps with the impulse spending and the, thinking in the moment kind of thing.
It's just, you gotta do what you gotta do, you gotta do what works for you and your brain, and especially if you are in a couple or in a family, you gotta do what works for everyone. And sometimes that means coming to a bit of a compromise on, where the Venn diagram that middle point and it can take some time to figure that out,
I'm very big on the emergency fund. So our plan at the moment is to fully fund our emergency fund and then work on paying off debt. But I think, and a lot of the like, OG budgeting gurus are also like, have an emergency fund. Because there's no point trying to pay off debt if you then hit the circumstance that puts you back into debt.
Because Can't afford to replace your fridge. Exactly.
So you guys have now been doing a no spend year for almost a year. Yep. What have you learned and what's the tangible outcome?
I think the biggest thing we've learned is that habits really do inform the way you live your life.
And so, as far as impulse spending goes It sounds so simple, but just don't go to Kmart, and you won't spend money. That was a big one for us, we're like, if we just don't browse places, we're not gonna wanna buy it. This is why companies send you so many emails and all of that, that's the whole thing with advertising, it's reminding you or telling you that you want something, and if you remove yourself from that environment, you're only going to end up really thinking to buy things that are necessary, because you'll go, oh, my jeans just tore, I need to buy a new pair of jeans, but you're not going to sit there going, oh, those new jeans that just came out look so nice, that new game, if you don't know the game exists, you can't want the game.
, I think that's been our biggest takeaway, avoiding even the Middle Isle at Aldi. We've gotten to a point now where we can walk down the Middle Isle and just enjoy the chaos for what it is, because Let's be real, the special buyers aisle is just fun sometimes because you can actually find kitchen sinks, like everything and the kitchen sink.
Yeah.
I just like seeing the weirdness that is that aisle of you never know what you're going to find. But for the first, I think, especially six months, we just avoided it because we would be so prone to being like, ah, that's such a cool thing that I never would have thought to buy. Now I'm going to buy it. I think shopping monthly also tied into that because we were shopping every week, I think, and then I moved it to fortnightly and then moved it to monthly and that was more of a like health thing, like a spoonie thing with us both being crazy busy this year.
I was like I'm not going every week. That's not going to happen. Yeah, and so we started grocery shopping monthly and I didn't even think about the budgeting aspect of it and it ended up being so great because you're not going to the shops every week. You're not putting yourself in front of all of these advertisements and all of these window displays and all of the stuff that's designed to make you want to buy things like So how does it work?
Do you meal plan for a month? How And then, with fruit and veggie and perishables, how does that, how do you do that?
So, a lot of fruit and veggies actually last, two or three weeks in the fridge, if you store them properly, so that also helps. We do tend to get, , milk and fruit and stuff like that every Well, milk definitely every week, because we go through milk like crazy, but we just would either duck in on the way to somewhere or from somewhere, so we're like already doing something else,
there's no meandering because we're already on another mission, so we've just sucked in to get a bottle of milk and then we go home kind of thing. Especially neurodivergent, when you've just been out and you're like done and you want to go home.
Stopping off to get milk when you want to go home. Amazing. You're gonna go get the milk and get out of there. It's like the opposite of don't, it's the shopping hungry versus not shopping hungry thing. It's, again, using the way that you are and the way that your brain works to your advantage. So that's pretty much how we've done that.
I've also gotten a lot of, those Coles, Flybuys four week spend offers this year somehow, which is amazing. You get 10, 000 points, which is 50 worth of points if you spend every week kind of thing or whatever. The limit changes depending on who you are and how much you spend and all that kind of stuff.
But mine have all 50 every week. nice and conservatively low, at 50. So yeah, those months I would just get everything that wasn't fresh, all of the meat, all of that kind of stuff, and then I would just do a click and collect for that 50 so that I wasn't, Going into a store and all that kind of thing but I don't, I love the results of meal planning, but the actual process of meal planning feels like pulling teeth, but I know how worth it is for everyday life and how much easier it makes everyday life.
So, yeah, I just meal plan for the entire month, and you, again, it's just trial and error of getting used to what you need, like you can start to get an idea of how many meals you personally need, because obviously you're not going to need, say there's 31 days and you cook dinner every night, you don't actually need 31 dinners, like stuff happens.
Yeah. Where you end up eating leftovers because you cooked more than you expected to, or you go to someone's house unexpectedly, or you get takeaway on the way home There's always going to be stuff. But we are really creatures of habit, like neurodivergent or not. And I think people forget that sometimes.
You do tend to follow patterns whether you realize it or not. So, two or three months of monthly meal planning and you can really get an idea of, okay, this is how many meals I actually need to plan. Because we always end up with X amount leftover that we haven't made. So that definitely helped and easing into it.
Like everything, don't go from shopping weekly to shopping monthly, you will fail, it will suck, like just don't torture yourself. Which is
so not ADHD, it's not that it's not ADHD friendly, it's like anti ADHD, because of course we are like, I'm gonna jump all in, I'm gonna do the whole thing, and I'm gonna completely drastically change my life, and then in two weeks I'm gonna wonder what happened and why.
Yep. Why is it working?
For sure. , I did it very slowly. I think I did one week, and then two weeks, and then three weeks. I really just pushed it out, and it's paid off so much.
And with you guys, again, you didn't just sit home this year, you did actually also have the goal of making more friends and spending time with existing friends and going out more.
So, I guess for people who are maybe not wanting to do a whole, by year, but wanting to just be a bit more conservative with what they're spending, How were you able to do that, still spend time with friends and meet new people without, Spending lots of money doing it.
I think part of it is realizing that, again, advertising in society has really programmed us to spend, and if you actually are able to step back, and it does take conscious effort, but if you're able to step back and go hang on, do I really need to spend money in this scenario or is there a way to do this?
is maybe lower cost at the very least, because again, baby steps. So even if it's just like lower cost versus no cost, there's actually so many options out there once you start looking, like there are parks, there are, cheap activities that you can find, there are community activities, there are so many different things, or even just, instead of getting lunch with someone, get coffee at two o'clock, like little tiny things where I'm still going to the cafe, I'm still having a nice time, I'm still getting a nice drink, but I don't need to buy an entire meal that's going to cost five times what it would take to make lunch at home, and still be disappointing most of the time. Exactly. So, little things like that, like just Not fully changing the way you do things, just changing it slightly, I've found has made a huge difference. Yeah that's honestly mainly it. Just looking for free activities and slightly cheaper ways to do things.
You'd be surprised what happens if you can just halve the cost of things.
Yeah, in October, you did a side hustle challenge, where you were doing side hustles and talking about, alternative ways to make money, which I think, especially for spoonies and neurodivergent people It's such a powerful thing because, as you know, and as you've experienced, we can't always work full time, but it doesn't mean we don't need income that would equal full time jobs.
Yep, and it also doesn't mean we don't want it. Just because we can't physically handle it doesn't mean we don't want to do something with our lives. I feel like that's important. That's something that people don't always get.
No, a hundred percent people who do only work part yeah, part time, it's not always because that's what they want.
It's maybe because that's what they can handle and, that's what they're either physically or mentally feel best at, but. They might still want to do more than that. So what were some of the side hustles that you did? And then you actually ended up making quite a bit of money in that month.
Yeah.
So my goal was 310, so 10 every single day, but I ended up making just shy of 800. I think it was like 780, which was amazing. I do have a side hustle master list that I'm, I have a U. S. and a U. K. Australia one at the moment, I'm working on UK and Canada.
So there's survey sites, personally, especially with the ADHD vibes, not my favorite because I can only really do the short ones before I start to get really bored. But that's why I do prefer the higher paying platforms. Here in Australia, we've got things like Octopus, and they don't send you a ton of surveys, but when they do, they're well paid, and for me, that's perfect, because I don't want to do a ton of surveys.
I just want ones that are worth my time. So surveys can be a great one if you can, especially if you can manage to do it and watch TV at the same time or something. I can't. Oh nice. I lose focus, but you can. I know that's something that a lot of people really enjoy. There's also market research stuff.
user testing has been by far my favorite platform. You do have to apply for it. So This is why I have my side hustle master list, because not everyone is going to be able to do every single side hustle you might not qualify for some, your demographic might just not be needed on some, because especially with market research and surveys, they are searching for specific demographics But user testing is a really great one because they tend to have projects pretty much every day.
You do have to leave it open in a tab all day and you'll get a ding when a new one pops up. So it's especially good if you are able to have your computer with you. all the time, or at least for a good chunk of the day. But user testing ended up being one that I earned a fair amount of money through which was really cool.
And the tasks tend to be quite short too, like they're only about 10 minutes, but it's also like you're talking through what you're doing. And I, for me personally, I felt that was a lot easier to focus on. And then the other one that can be good depending on your area is mystery shopping. My area is not great for it, so I find that it goes through waves.
One month there'll actually be some really good stuff, and then the rest of the time it's just going into liquor stores, which I just I don't want to do because I don't drink, so I don't, I'm not familiar with but yeah, it depends on your area, but there are a couple of apps that are great for that as well.
, again, everything is just worth trying and seeing if this will be the thing that works well for you. Because like I said, and I cannot reiterate this enough. Not every side hustle will work for every person. It is a bit of trial and error, which I know can be really frustrating when you just want something to work now.
And a lot of them have, application times or waitlists and that kind of thing, but once you can get onto them and get into a routine that works for you, and whatever your spare time is, whatever your brain is like, all that kind of stuff, it's amazing. What you can do and that 780 and that whole challenge was specifically beginner friendly side hustles.
So things that anyone can go and sign up to again, some of the platforms may have a bit of a wait list, depending on where you are, but. Anyone can go sign up to them. You don't need a social media following. You don't need, six months of priming your audience or six months of product development or whatever.
You can just go and sign up. It's amazing what's out there once you start looking. Well,
and
I
think it's so good too that you've put together a master list of it because I, for one, have looked at some of these things in the past, but I never know what's a scam. I never know what's legitimate. I don't know how to tell.
If they're going to end up some, somehow, because I don't understand technology either, if they're going to somehow rip me off,
yeah, for sure. And that's the thing there's always a bit of a risk, and it can be hard with social media, and it's one of the things I hate about the side hustle side of the internet.
Some people are really lacking in transparency.
Will advertise platforms that, Possibly are technically legitimate, like they're not scamming you necessarily, in the true sense of the word, they're not stealing your money, but They're not necessarily paying you very well or very fairly and people are advertising them because they get a lot of referral income.
And I'm all for referral income. I am very grateful for referral income. It's part of how I earn my money and why I'm able to keep posting on social media. But yeah that's also why I try and post my actual like side hustle income when I remember. If I don't post it, it's quite literally just because I forgot.
Because I think we've all seen, depending on your algorithm, but I have seen quite a lot of, I'm a stay at home mom and I make 20, 000 a month by selling templates on Etsy or whatever. But to me, something like that is a red flag because I'm like, that is an exorbitant amount of money for Basically 10 minutes worth of work you're telling me.
So I always take the whole little if it feels and seems too good to be true, there might be a grain of truth in the actual thing. Yes, you can make templates in Canva and sell them on Etsy and make passive income, but you're probably not going to end up making 20,
Yeah, exactly. Even if that person actually is making 20, 000 a month, the chances are you won't.
That's just normal. And that's, yeah, like you said, that's one of the, I think, traps that people can easily fall into. But again it's knowing. This is why I love marketing so much. Well, not so much marketing, but knowing about marketing. Because once you actually understand the psychology behind marketing and by extension social media and all of that, you can start to sort through the muck a little bit and you can go, okay, that person's used a really big intense sounding number that's designed to get me to pay attention and to want their results and buy their course.
And it's not that there's necessarily anything wrong with courses, because I do think that there can be power in that, because for one thing, I can't deliver all the information that I would love to deliver on TikTok. It's just not possible. There's time limits and attention limits as well, like even if I Attention limits!
Even if I upload a 10 minute video on TikTok realistically speaking, most people aren't going to get all the way through a 10 minute video unless it's on something that they're really deeply interested in, and even then, it will be on 2x speed. It's just really not gonna happen. So, in some ways, there is a psychological benefit to paying for a course.
for example, because you're more likely to actually engage with the content and learn what you want to learn because you've got skin in the game, you have paid for it. And so there is that side of things, but there's also some people that I feel like really do just hold everything back because they can charge for it.
And it's well, are you charging for it because you actually put hours into this thing that you could not deliver any other way? Is that why you're doing it? Or are you doing it just because you can put it behind a paywall? But you haven't tried to give even snippets away for free. , it can be hard to differentiate, but again, that's why I put out the content that I have, and why I try and make at least the bare bones stuff free.
And then if people want more information, it's because they actually are really interested in it, and then, of course, there's that whole, you're gonna sit down and watch an hour long Masterclass, seven dollars is fine but Yeah, I think charging people the bare for the bare bones basics of how to make money is weird.
Honestly. Yeah. I just think it's weird. Like It's icky. It is! It's really icky. People are out there trying to make money online because they're desperate. Because they need money. Because inflation is insane. Because they've got sick family members. Because they can't work. You're really gonna put everything behind a paywall?
Really?
And that's the hard part of it, and I guess like the psychology of it a little bit is people are so desperate, they are willing to spend their last few dollars to learn how to make more dollars. And it's do you? Do you want to be the person who's furthering that cycle? Like, why don't you just put simple, or, what I've learned years ago from, a social media strategist or coach or someone was most people, most like well intentioned, Coaches and teachers and et cetera.
We really are putting the majority of the information that we would have in a masterclass or et cetera, out there for free in bite sized bits in our content. And then it's just what you're paying for when you're doing a masterclass or whatever is maybe some additional resources like a workbook or something.
And you're paying for it to be consolidated. Yes, into okay, you could watch 90 of my 60 second videos and learn most of this information, or you could pay to have it consolidated and tidied up and put together in this really easy to understand package. And that is what, the master class or etc.
And that will also save you some time. Yeah. The way I like to look at it, especially with my content, is I like to give people enough that they could earn the money to pay for my paid stuff. If that makes sense. Yes. So I've given you the resources to go and earn at least an extra couple hundred dollars a month, and then if I have paid stuff at least I've given you the resources and tools to earn the money to pay for it, and you're not having to take it out of your everyday budget.
Because that, oh, there's just, yeah. There's so much ick. So much ick on the
internet.
So
what are, like for people who, have seen your content or hear you now and think okay, I want to know more. What are some of your paid resources? What are some of the ways that people can learn more from you?
So over the coming months, I'll have more popping up. Definitely like first port of call, if you haven't already got my free side house of master list, do that because it also adds you to my email list. I don't send a ton of emails out, but. Especially if I update the master list, you get an email. So that's why I get your email for
it,
so I can update you when I made it better.
But it's also, if I do put paid stuff out, you'll get an email about it. But I have a masterclass coming up. That, again, it's that whole consolidating stuff because the world of social media and side hustles can be a bit overwhelming. That's definitely coming up, and I have a couple of coaching spots and things if you just want someone to just tell you what would probably work for your scenario, then I can do that too.
All of the links are in my profiles you can just scroll through and see all of my stuff.
Yeah, I'll put all your links just to remind people what is, what's your social handles, what's your website, how do they find you those places? Yeah, I am abundant on a budget, all one word, everywhere, basically.
And I will note, because I sent you a message recently, there are some dupe accounts out there, so. Abundant on a budget, all one word, no underscores, no
dots,
no nothing.
No zeros instead of Os. Yes. Talking about the holiday season, I've had so many of these accounts. I work up to another five messages from people with another five accounts.
I'm like, this is insane. Hopefully one day I can get verified because that will solve that problem, but yes be careful with the imposters. But yeah, as long as it's abundant on a budget, nice and simple, you should find it. TikTok and Instagram. But yes, I've predominantly been on TikTok this year and All of my links are in my bio. All of the relevant links are in my bio, so nice and easy to find.
Amazing. Amazing. Well, I thank you.
I've learned so much and gotten so many tips because as I said, I have tried budgeting so many times this year. I really, this is like revealing so much about me. I struggle to connect the dots. So I will sit down like a freaking forensic accountant with multiple highlighter colors and I will get all of our accounts, banking, credit card, et cetera, because we're someone where we put basically everything on our credit card to get points because then we can cash them in for like free flights to the U.
S. or whatever.
But yeah, I'll sit down. I code everything I've developed this system for categorizing stuff, but then I don't know how to connect the dots of okay, I see where our money's going and I see, we theoretically should have X amount left over every month, but like we don't, and it's figuring out how to make.
The steps. So, you've given me a lot of ideas for other ways that we could implement and try and tighten up. Maybe 2025 will be our year of budgeting.
Maybe. The cash envelopes are so good. Like one of the questions I get a lot is, oh, but does that mean you have to transfer for every single time you spend?
Yes. That's the point. Because that's another stopgap of, we have to think about this before we do it. Okay. so much. That's part of the design, it's good, but. Yeah honestly, if you're new to Divergent and you haven't checked out UpBank, I can't recommend it enough.
It's funny because
my partner's not on TikTok, but I sent him your TikTok of you talking about how you have all the envelopes. And , I'm like, we need to look at switching
one thing I also like And this is like a plug. They don't sponsor me but I have a referral link which is also in my bio. But what I love about it is, unlike other banks, you don't have to do a certain amount of transactions to get the referral amount. I think it's 15 with my link you can get.
But literally you just make an account, you get the 15, and then it's perfect for just playing around with the app. So you don't actually have to transfer any of your own money into it to start to play around with it and just check out the features. That's brilliant. Yeah, it's one of the reasons that I actually push the referral thing, because then you can test it out without, that perceived risk of putting your own money into it, so to speak.
You can just get used to it first. And they have a lot of if you don't want to do extra budgeting, they have a lot of budgeting tools in the app. So you can get insights on what categories you've spent what in and all of that without having to do anything. So, yeah, highly recommend playing around with it.
Even if you don't use my referral link, use someone's referral link, get your free 10 or 15 and just play around with it. It's, yeah, low risk that way, I feel like. Yeah.
Oh my god, I'm going to end this and sign up immediately. Thank you. Thank you so, so much. I, like I said, I will put everything in the show notes, including the referral link so people can go and check it out.
I'll put it as like a separate line item. So it's easy. Money that people, yeah, people can go and play around with it. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate you very much. Thank you. Awesome. Thanks. Bye. Bye.
