Was it Burn Out? Life Update from Sam

Navigating Burnout, Motherhood, and Reconnecting

In this raw and unfiltered episode, Sam returns after a four-month hiatus to open up about her recent experiences with burnout, the challenges of balancing motherhood, and the isolating nature of her life. 

She touches on her struggles with maintaining motivation, particularly after a family holiday and outlines the difficulties of managing her content creation in Australia. Sam also discusses her early perimenopausal symptoms, hormone therapy, and the importance of finding personal projects and community engagement. 

She shares future plans for providing actionable holiday preparation tips and possibly reviving her Intention workbook series. 

Listeners are encouraged to provide feedback and connect via social media 

IG: @SamAttemptsMotherhood

TT: @SamAttemptsMotherhood

samattemptsmotherhood@gmail.com

00:00 Introduction and Hiatus Explanation

01:56 Struggles with Burnout and Isolation

05:49 Closing the Membership and Financial Struggles

10:20 Hormonal Changes and Perimenopause

12:58 Rediscovering Motivation and Future Plans

16:04 Reconnecting with the Community

18:49 Commitment to Less Editing and More Authenticity

20:04 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Thank you for listening!

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Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, medical professional, or mental health professional.
I am sharing my lived experience. If you relate to any of the content in these episodes, do your own research and speak to a medical professional if needed.
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Transcript

 Hi friends. It has been a minute and by a minute, I mean like four months, maybe a little bit more. Who's counting? Uh, only my brain anyways, so this is gonna be probably a little bit of a different episode because it is going to be raw, it is going to be off the cuff. Um. Like, let's be honest, I never plan anything, but I'm going to do really minimal editing and just give you a bit of an update and, uh, uh, share, share what's been going on in my brain because for the first time in those said, for plus months, I have not just a bit of energy, but like a bit of.

I guess the word I'm looking for is motivation to, to do this thing, to podcast, to create content. So I guess that kind of leads me into my hiatus when I basically just ghosted life. Not real life, obviously. Sometimes I wish I could have, but when I, I ghosted the podcast, I ghosted content, I ghosted everything.

So back in April, we went on a month long holiday to the US to visit my family, where I always deliberately like unplug a little bit, mainly because it's really hard for me when I'm there to balance. Yeah, everything and still trying to do content and also I am trying to be as present as possible and enjoy as much time with my family there as possible because I get so little time with them.

But I don't know what it was when I came back. I don't know if it was having a month essentially off or what, but I just, I literally could not muster the motivation. For anything. Like, I basically was just taking care of the house, taking care of my kid, and that was it. And sometimes the house was not even, you know, priority.

So going through it, I had questioned, I'm like, is this, is this burnout? Am I burnt out? Because I didn't know, like I don't, I don't know. I mean, I, I. Do recognize what burnout is, but I think that's the hard part, right, is when it's you and when you are in it, it doesn't, you're not experiencing it like a textbook would read.

Right? And even having close friends who have dealt with like very serious burnout, that lasted a very long length of time. I just wasn't sure. Um, I knew it wasn't depression because I didn't feel

sad or numb. I wasn't having trouble getting out of bed. I just literally felt unmotivated to do anything other than take care of my kid. I try and keep the house as orderly and organized as possible. I recognize that I was going through like a nesting period. Now, this is not like a spoiler.

I am not pregnant. We are not having anymore kids. We are like a hundred percent donezo, dun Uni. But I attributed it to the fact of like, I don't leave the house. Other than to do pick up and drop off for school and like the occasional social outings that we do on the weekend.

But what most people might not realize is my life the way it's been. Constructed is incredibly isolating, and don't get me wrong, 90% of the time, I'm really happy with that because I find people in hard. I am still working on unmasking. I very much have. Kind of cut away people where I feel like I have to mask around because I just literally don't have the energy.

So the only people I've seen in the last handful of months are people that I feel like I can mask less slash maybe not mask. I don't know, I'm still figuring out what unmask me is isn't, isn't this late diagnosis journey. Fun. That was sarcasm. That tone was sarcasm. but. I just, I haven't been around loads of people, and like I said, most of the time, that's fine, but it also means that like I am incredibly isolated, which also means a lot of the times I am lonely.

And at the end of the day, that means I spent a lot of time at home in my house. And so while I was going through this phase of burnout. I focused so much on trying to get our house organized and try and do little things that made it feel like a space I wanted to spend a lot of time in because I was spending a lot of time in it and we're getting there and it's working, but it also,

you know, like so many project things in life, it's like never ending.

So yes, I, I attribute it to burnout. I think really when I sat with it, when I sat with what I was feeling and what I was going through, I had realized that for

really the last four years, like since I had my daughter or I had spent. The majority of my time giving to other people, whether it was giving to her, whether it was giving to my students when I had my studio, whether it was giving to.

People I was working with coaching. I had just all of my energy, all of it was going to other people, and I was doing these little things to try and grasp some energy back for myself, like going to the gym or having the occasional catch up with a friend, but it wasn't enough. And unfortunately this whole.

Unmotivated episode burnout coincided with a few things, so it coincided with

me having to close my membership, my attempting motherhood membership, which still like, I can't describe the heartbreak that that brought me because. And this is whatever, I don't know, bigheaded, whatever, but like I know it was good. I know there was so much value in that space, and it was the women, the people that were in there were absolutely incredible and engaged.

But at the end of the day, I was covering several hundred dollars a month. For the platform fees and everything else because I just didn't have enough people come through the doors and I get it. Times are tough and it's fucking hard enough to manage, you know, like life, let alone another app with another thing.

I get it. I understand that. So like I understand. But it does break my heart because I poured so much into it and I know that there was so much value in it, and there were so much good things with resources and our live calls and all the rest of it. But I really just had to come to grips and be like, financially, we can't just keep floating hundreds of dollars because also.

I am not a salesperson. Like I hate pushing stuff. I hate talking about things that I am trying to do to make money, even though it's ironic because that's what I have to do to try and make money. So really I just don't make any money. Super great. Again, sarcasm. So I decided for a time to let it go. I keep telling myself to like mend my heartbreak about it that.

It can be temporary. I can reopen it in the future. I now know how to do everything. So that learning curve is gone. But it definitely added to my just unmotivated

state because in my head it was, it was very much a like, well, what am I doing this all for? I live in Australia. I think most of you know that. But if you don't. Australia is not somewhere where it is easy to make money off of content, unfortunately, I think that added a little bit to my frustration was

I created this membership as a way to one, put everything in one place. Like that was my big reason for it, is like, I want all my workbooks, I want everything in one place. So that was a big reason for it. And also because. Yes. When I am spending 30 hours a week doing something, I do want to make a little bit of money.

And don't get me wrong, like I am never wanting to be a millionaire. I am someone who, if I literally can just make things pay for themselves, like literally pay for my camera membership, pay for my, you know, podcast platform membership, if I could just, which. At the end of the day, the break even is like not that much, a couple hundred bucks.

So I'm not asking to make thousands and I'm not begging anyone to gimme money right now, and I really definitely am very aware of my privilege of being able to do any of this. But what I. Was sensing in these moments for me was also a little bit of frustration that because I live in Australia, I would look at creators in the US and the UK specifically, where they do have things like Creator Fund and they have TikTok shop and they have ways to monetize content where.

Someone that has the platforms that I do is making a, a very, very, very good living just by posting about stuff that I was doing anyways, but I wasn't making any money off of it. And again, it, I don't want it to all come down to money, but like, I'm just trying to explain where some of my, um, a little bit where my head was at.

So. As I sat with the feelings, as I kind of went through everything, I just wholly felt unmotivated. Like I said, I now can name it as burnout, but in the moment, and even still, I mean, I think it's a complicated situation where I would say, is it burnout? Is it hormones? Is it life dissatisfaction? Which I didn't think it was, but who knows?

Maybe, um. You know, have I been taking too much ashwagandha? Like so much went through my head. The hormones one was a big one because as we have all heard me say, I am an early perimenopause, so in May I started on hormones. Not all of them though, just progesterone, because I'm an early perimenopause and hot tip.

Friends, if you don't know this, I'm gonna fill you in. Progesterone is the first hormone to exit the party when you are in early perimenopause and a lot of the time the symptoms that we see around perimenopause, you know, like hot flashes and I

weight gain and all the rest of it, so many of those symptoms are linked to. Low estrogen, but as I said, progesterone leaves the party first. Some signs of low progesterone that are really not talked about enough

are. Increased sensory sensitivity, and this is outside of when you would expect it in your normal cycle times like yes, kind of midweek three to maybe the end of week four. You might already be a little bit sensory sensitive, but for me it was becoming like all of the time. Also increased rage. Rage. So much rage all the time because progesterone is our like, whoa, calm down, Fran.

Keep it cool. It's all right. Hormone. If we don't have that. What we have is unchecked estrogen, which like if you are like me and you're a child of the eighties and nineties and you remember the nineties wrestler roid rage epidemic, yeah. That's perimenopause and that's early perimenopause when progesterone has gone, and estrogen is just being incredibly erratic.

So yes, hormones were a factor, but I don't think they were the only one. At the end of the day. It was having spent so long, giving so much to so many people and expecting as I still do nothing in return, but my own fault because I, I wasn't giving enough to me, I wasn't nourishing me.

So it's things that I have so little by little I am like clawing my way back. I right now am kind of early follicular and feeling that gusto that, that we tend to feel in that stage. I've got a little bit of motivation. I feel excited. And on the horizon, we've probably already on the horizon. You may have seen me share about this on social media.

I have realized I need a project, like I need a thing. This is probably the least maternal thing I could say, but it's just the truth. And like we're all friends here and I am sure some of you will relate, but for me, being a mom. Isn't enough. And I, I understand how that might sound to some, because for some it really is.

But for me, that's just not how my brain works. So being a mom, being a homemaker, being a stay at home, I'm not a wife, what do you call it? Stay. Stay at home partner, domestic engineer. If we wanna put a little like pizazz on it, it's not enough. It ends up making me. Incredibly resentful towards my family because I get the house right in order and I get everything good.

And then they come home and they live in it, as you would expect, because it's a family and it's in a house. And that's what houses should be. They should be lived in. But my brain struggles with one that those transitions and also the chaos. The chaos of having a 4-year-old, of having a 38-year-old A DHD partner that is, um.

All of the very classical A, DH, D, you know, misplaces, everything, forgets things, sets them down, all the rest of it. I love him, but like, my God, it's hard. The autistic side of my brain and, and honestly even the A DHD side of my brain really struggle with, with his A DHD. Anyways, I, I need something, so I am going to.

Really work on boundaries. Not giving so much of myself to, to everyone, but I, I want, I miss community. I miss talking to other late diagnosed, late realized moms. I miss having that con vitality, if you wanna call it. So the first thing I'm doing is doing fortnightly. That means every two weeks for everyone.

Not in Australia or the uk. Um, I will be sending an email out, helping you prepare for the holiday mental load. I know you're like, oh my God, it's early August. The holiday seems so far away. They do. They do. And that's how it gets us every year because the next thing we know, it's the day before and we are supposed to be cooking for 15 and we've literally not even gone grocery shopping yet.

So. I am going to send emails every two weeks with very actionable tips, breaking it down, breaking down what you need to do between now and then the end of the year, the holidays, to make that process a little bit smoother for you. And then here's the second part that I need. Uh, I need a little feedback from you friends, and.

So if you don't already follow me on, I need a little bit of feedback from you, my friends. So I am considering reopening intention. So intention is where we have one workbook a month, one topic that we focus on, whether it be movement or.

Self care or food and food planning and all that goes around that, but one topic for one month and we would just do a live call to break down the workbook to answer any questions you have. This would be something that is super, super. Affordable, just like intention always was and

you could basically come and go as you wanted. Originally when I ran it, we did it as a 12 month journey. So each month we worked on different things and we built on topics as we went through the year, but this time I just miss, I miss talking to people, so I'm gonna let it be, come and go as you want.

Sign up, unsign up. I don't care. But let me know if that's something you are interested in. If you don't follow me on social media, on all of 'em, it's Sam attempts, motherhood, all one word smooshed together. Send me a message, let me know if it is something that you are actually interested in, whether you've done it before and you wanna do it again, or whether you never had a chance to do it, and it sounds like something that is up your alley.

Just to really break it down. It's like you get a whole workbook, which most of 'em are 10 to 15 pages, large font. Don't worry, it's not like a, you know, and a live call that's like an hour and a half where I break down the workbook, give you even more info, and then you have a chance to ask questions specific for you.

But I. I wanna know if people are actually interested, if this is something they want or my little brain is just gonna keep ticking over and probably find some other way to connect. So like I said, if you are interested, send me a message. Sam attempts motherhood on all the socials, or email me Sam attempts motherhood@gmail.com.

I know I ghosted everything. I'm slowly working my way back. I'm hoping this feeling that I have right now last. I really hoping because it's actually nice to feel a little bit of gusto for the first time in a long time.

And I know, don't get me wrong, hormones fluctuate and the cycle and all that, blah, blah. But I really wanna hold onto this and, uh, I, uh, I'm gonna make a commitment that I have a couple of. Guest podcast recordings in the can. Yeah. They've been sitting there for months. Yes. My brain has beat me up pretty much every day with the guilt of that, so I'm gonna work on editing those.

That's another thing. I guess. I love doing the podcast. I love having conversations, but I am such a perfectionist. Yep. Working on it, but such a perfectionist that I, I spend hours and hours editing them to try and make them just chef's kiss. And going forward, I'm gonna try and do a little bit less of that.

Don't get me wrong, they're not gonna be absolute garbage, but I. Am probably not going to edit them within an inch of their life. I'm gonna let the conversations be a little bit more real. And as a consumer, I know I listen to podcasts where I very actively, very actively think to myself all the time, oh my God, do they even edit this?

Like, what is going on? So I don't want it to be like that. I'm trying to find a happy middle ground, but especially the solo ones, which I am hoping to do more of, they're gonna be more like this where it's off the cuff and I give you a bit of an update about certain things. Or I might just pick a topic and go full info dump on it.

So also, if you have a topic you want me to info dump on, please feel free to message me again. Links are in the show notes, but as I said, socials, Sam attempts motherhood or Sam attempts motherhood@gmail.com. If you've gotten this far, I appreciate you. I've missed talking to you all. I do miss the community.

I'm solely trying to make my way back on socials without draining myself because mentally, I will tell you, I did feel better not consuming social media constantly, so. Here's to finding balance, here's to trying to figure out our way through life as late realized. audhd, mom, and uh, in case you forgot, I am no expert.

I'm right here on the path with you and I'm just trying to share some of the things that I've learned along the way because man, it's hard. And we can all use a friend. So

thanks for listening. Have a great day.