Crafting a Blueprint for Sustainable Leadership and Personal Growth with Brian Fretwell, Finding Good, PEAK 2024

When was the last time you felt truly connected? This question echoes at the heart of our latest episode with Brian Fretwell, an expert on the crucial interplay between leadership and human connection. We unpack the concept that forming deep, meaningful connections aren't just a nice-to-have, but a fundamental need on par with food and water. Brian's journey, from the confines of a correctional facility classroom to the vast expanse of the mining and oil industries, reveals his 'Finding Good' project's quest to build authentic relationships that combat loneliness and foster a sense of belonging in a world rebounding from isolation.

Navigating life's uncertainties can be daunting, but the stories we share have the power to bridge divides and bring us closer. I get personal about my venture into podcasting, facing down fears, and learning the transformative art of storytelling. Recalling an encounter with a young meth addict, I share how asking the right questions taught me the profound impact of curiosity and the philosophy of 'Ajuko'—eliciting wisdom from within rather than imposing it from without. This philosophy not only shapes how I mentor at-risk youth and connect with my children but also offers a blueprint for leaders and parents to guide others toward self-discovery and personal growth.

Looking ahead, I'm thrilled to extend an invitation to the Business & Leadership Track at PEAK  2024, where we'll transform networking into valuable, impactful exchanges. Get ready for an engaging experience featuring our courses and certification program, designed to equip you with the tools for creating sustainable practices in leadership. And for those intrigued by the intersection of technology and safety, join me for a discourse on fire safety advancements and the role of communication in innovation. Tune in for a conversation that promises to illuminate, engage, and inspire.

Finding Good - http://www.findinggood.com
Connect with Brian - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bfretwell/
Brain's Youtube Channel- https://www.youtube.com/@FindingGoodwithBrianFretwell

Sponsor - Prism Controls - PEAK 2024 Booth 1331  
Tech Talk - Thursday, April 18th, 11AM CST Exhibitor Stage

Hosted by Brandon Mulnix - Director of Commercial Accounts - Prism Controls
The Poultry Leadership Podcast is only possible because of its sponsor, Prism Controls
Find out more about them at www.prismcontrols.com

Transcript

Brandon: 0:28

Welcome to the Pulture Leadership Podcast. I'm so glad you're here today. Today, I have a pretty solid guest for you. I believe that you're going to learn something, whether you are in Poultry or not. Ryan Fretwell is our guest and if you are in the poultry industry, you may not recognize his name, but after today, I believe that you're going to be the first in line to attend the business and leadership track sessions, april 17 through the 19th at peak 2024 in Minneapolis, minnesota. You are listening today because you are a growing leader and Brian is here to share his message with you. Welcome, Brian, to the Poultry Leadership Podcast. Brian, normally I start off with having my guests introduce themselves, but today I'm going to start off with a simple question Brian, what do you want?

Brian: 1:18

Yeah, that's an interesting one. Yeah, I guess I've got primed with it a little bit, but I think my answer is today yeah, I had some experiences in the last four years of the ephemeral nature of meaning like nothing is great.

Brian: 1:38

Nothing stays around forever, and so that's, I think, allowed me to just have a lot more gratitude for that Right the days I have, and so I think what I want out of life is, like today, to be not taken for granted, but that I'm getting the most out of it because I don't have any control over whether or not tomorrow happens.

Brandon: 2:01

I come at you with a deep question and you come at me with even a deeper answer.

Brian: 2:05

I'm just matching the energy man.

Brandon: 2:10

I appreciate that. Okay, now, brian, you can tell the audience of who you are.

Brian: 2:16

Yeah, so I grew up in a town of about 3,000 people and American Falls, idaho. For anybody that's been in the middle of nowhere, we're just too less. And I grew up I was a city kid. I moved pipe and worked on a brand and cattle in the summer and all of that excuse me, in the spring and all of that like my friends, but I worked in the city and I was a teacher in a digital corrections facility for a while, but I spend the majority of my professional career actually teaching brain science and leadership to minors and truck drivers and oil and gas.

Brian: 2:54

Folks have been everywhere, from Central Australia to the Diamond Mines in Northern Canada, helping folks understand how their brain work, to run their business better or to spend like 10 years in reducing safety incidences based on how people communicate. And then, when the pandemic started, it started a project that we now call Finding Good. That is now a business, because underlying all of this stuff that we were teaching from the brain science, standpoint and culture change and how good teams work was this idea of connection and how connection actually works in the brain, how we need connection at the same level as we need food and water. And yet this is this thing that we need so much but we don't have. If you look for a framework for how to build connection, it's really not out there.

Brian: 3:47

There's some suggestions of but like, how do you actually know you're connecting in a conversation?

Brian: 3:53

Why does it matter? Beyond this, I feel better when I'm connected, and so we really got into creating this framework based on a conversation my friends and I were having that we've had every week for one hour for eight years. That is helping people understand how, if we prioritize our purposeful and intentional about creating connection, not in a touchy, feely way, but in a in the way our brain is designed to experience connection, which is what we call an equal exchange of value and focusing on the story, then so many of the other things that we're trying to create whether that's learning, whether that's efficiency, whether that's production improve as well as like things like burnout and stress go down the more connected we feel. And yet and so our job is tell people understand that building higher levels of connection can be a practice. It's not just something that happens because you like each other and you don't like each other. It's really about how we're communicating, how we're interacting and how we're seeing the value in each other.

Brandon: 5:06

Coming off the pandemic it was. I see so many people that are introverted and I throw quotes up there and are just finding themselves hidden away and saying, nope, I'm good, I'm good, but yet what I find the most value in and my wife calls me extroverted is connection. I love being one-on-one with somebody and having a conversation, and yet how do we continue to find those folks that were able to hide away and bring them back, bring them back to where they value connection. Any insight on that?

Brian: 5:45

So it's interesting that so for us. A lot of more people are talking about connection prior to the pandemic, but one of the books that actually inspired me and the others that have been a part of this directly or indirectly at the beginning of it, myself and a good friend of mine, John, who grew up as a dairy farmer out of Wisconsin, we were reading a book called Together. It's written by Vivek Murthy, the current Surgeon General, and this book was written or published, rather, in 2018, 2019, so prior to the pandemic, and he outlined loneliness as the biggest epidemic in the country, before the pandemic even started.

Brandon: 6:22

And so we were reading this literally driving across country.

Brian: 6:26

a whole side story. We were hauling a boat from Florida to Northern Idaho, or a sailboat because why not, anyway. And so we're actually listening to this and discussing it. But that idea of disconnection isn't new and the idea of loneliness isn't new. The challenge is that the majority of people that are dealing with it don't understand that's what they're dealing with.

Brian: 6:51

Disconnection shows up, or loneliness. Where we more recognize it, it's when I don't feel like I can be myself showing up, where I'm feeling like I'm performing, I'm feeling like I'm just playing this part I don't have. Only part of me feels like it's we're showing up, and maybe even so much as I've showed up for other people. I've done what other people want me to do or expect me to do, so much I don't know who the heck I am anymore. Those are actually signs of disconnection that can be extreme, and Vivek Murthy points out from the data that we have that you are better being a 15-cigarette, a smoker, than you are being alone. Your brain is not designed for that level of disconnection and it literally will kill you. All-cause mortality increases by 30%. All-cause heart attack, cancer. All of that increases by 30% when we have extreme levels of loneliness, and we know that 60% of the country or more is experiencing it in some form. The challenge is, we don't.

Brian: 7:53

I was. I suffered from pretty extreme burnout going into 2019. I was traveling, speaking four days a week, around hundreds of people every week, and it wasn't until the pandemic happened and I slowed down that I realized that burnout was because, even though I was around people every day, I wasn't connected Right. I was teaching, I was leading, I was delegating all of the things, and I think there's a lot of us that fall into that camp and we don't understand that that's actually being driven by our brain's need for connection more than some of the exterior things going on.

Brandon: 8:32

So, Brian, how do you connect?

Brian: 8:35

Yeah, it's, we call it. We have a definition of connection. So when connection happens is when there is mutual value realized from an individual experience. So the easiest way to explain that and I know we chatted about this, but I have a video called Finding Blueberries. It's out there. I think it's somewhere in there. Like we, about a million or so people saw it on Instagram. Here's the design function that all of us has experienced and I think about it.

Brian: 9:05

When I was 15 years old and I first started, or I was going to hunting camp with my dad. So we grew up El Cunning we were, we did black powder hunting every year. But I'll explain it through the blueberries and then I can relate it to a more current day model. If you and I are in the same pack, let's say, right, like, we're out for thousands of years. In some form, we're sitting around the campfire. Humans have sat around the campfire since dawn of time, right? And in that process, if you and I are sitting around the campfire, we're part of the same pack. Then we have mutual goals.

Brian: 9:40

If you will, like things we're trying to find in the world, let's say blueberries, right, like, blueberries are important for our survival. Now, you've seen blueberries, I've seen blueberries, we've eaten blueberries, we know what it looks like. Now we know we need this thing. But here's where communication started and happens and like the necessity for it is. If you run off, brandon, and in our pack we haven't been eating very well Right, it's been it's been pretty tough to find any blueberries and you run off today and you come back with a whole bunch of blueberries we're pretty excited right, yeah, and just you come back and you achieved a company objective.

Brian: 10:20

You found the blueberries right, and so I recognize you and I say good job, brandon. And we eat the blueberries. Now it's just a bit like the blueberries are gone, we've eaten them, I've told you good job, the recognition, and this is what most people do but even after the blueberries have gone, I've given you recognition. There is something that I need from you that will increase the chances that I survive tomorrow, and what is that?

Brandon: 10:51

Where to find the blueberries.

Brian: 10:53

Yeah, everything about your story, even though I've seen blueberries before, I found blueberries before. If I know how you did it, where you did it, what you did, how you did like, how did you find them? And not getting by the bear, how did you like, where did you look and what? What prompted you to turn this rock over versus that rock over? And not just me, but everyone else in the pack is going to ask you about how you found in. When that happens, your story now has value for the pack, and not because I said good job, brandon. But I said, brandon, how did you do that job? What did it look like, how are you able to do it and why does it matter? And the more. And I'm asking you not to make you feel better. I'm asking you because I know that your story is going to help me and that equation is just something we almost take for granted. I think that I make you feel better by telling you good job and old, you worked hard, which is important. But when you tell me the job you did and it has value for me, then your story inherently has value, which then means you feel like you have value.

Brian: 12:08

What we see in organizations. What we see in families, what we see in friendships and community groups is we share what we call sofa suggestions, ideas. So, so far as suggestions, opinion, feedback and advice, right, we share advice, we share opinions, we share idea. We're designed to share story. And if there's something that is missing in every so many organizations I go to, so many people I talked to, is that we don't know how to ask for the story that will bring us value. We might have, we might know how to tell it, but we've all told the story to somebody who's not interested, or we've been on the other end hearing a story that we're not interested in, right, and so what we teach is how do you use a question to get the story that's going to give you value? Because if you're getting the story that gives you value, then the person telling that story then feels valued.

Brian: 13:06

And the cool part of this is this is where, like my engineering friends or my introverted friends, I tell my extroverted friends that engineers and introverts don't not want to talk to double negative. We generally think an engineer or, and I think, chicken farmers fair amount might fall into this category. I grew up in ag. There's a lot of folks that are in ag, because the animals are much just better to deal with than the dark. But what we tend to think, the introvert and the engineer don't want to talk. That's a misnomer. The engineer and the introvert don't want to waste time talking about stuff that doesn't have value.

Brian: 13:48

When we choose the interaction that helps their brain see, oh, in telling you this we're creating value between each other. You almost have a hard time shutting them up. We've just not been conditioned in the last hour or long, and I try not to get into all of the whys in it, but those exchanges happen less and less, the exchange of a story that brings value. We don't have as much time around the dinner table. We're not spending as much time in a vehicle without our cell phones. We used to create connection accidentally and that's just not happening anymore, for good or bad or otherwise. What we've tried to create in this definition, but in the framework we created, is how do we get this thing? We know we need more intentionally, purposefully and consistent.

Brandon: 14:45

Very true, very true, as I sit in Zoom meeting after Zoom meeting, how do I get the common experience, to find the common dimension, something that we have in common? It is tough because, as you may like one thing and I like another, we don't actually have anything in common, but do we have something in common?

Brian: 15:14

Yeah, that's, if I can jump in right there. Absolutely. I hope this makes sense, explaining it just on verbally here with everyone. But we might not have something in common with the other person, but there are things that are common to every human. What is common to all humans is where we actually connect.

Brian: 15:40

For instance, I know, brandon, that you've gotten over challenges recently. I know that I have too. Instead of asking what your favorite football team is, knowing, you're in Minnesota and it's likely the Lions right now, and I grew up being a Green Bay fan, and now we're disconnected by rule. I can try to do that and I'm not saying that we don't still but I can also say hey, brandon, in your industry, have you been dealing with some of the change recently, or what's the challenge that you've gotten over recently? Or you're podcasting here. I present things online a lot like Renit. Can you tell me about how you got the over the discomfort of creating your first podcast? Are you asking me that? Oh, sure, yeah, bracken, so notice how you want to answer it Right. Absolutely. Yeah, so go ahead. Yeah, how did you get over the discomfort of your first?

Brandon: 16:35

podcast. Oh, it was one of those things where I just kept thinking why is nobody doing this? Why does nobody do this? I'm not good enough, nobody's going to listen to me. And then it got to the point is what could happen if I do? There's a lot of positives that could come out of it. What's the worst thing that could happen? Nobody listened, and you know what. That's a choice, so I could be shy and not do it. Or I could say what's the worst thing that could happen to me if I try? And you know what? I don't think the worst thing. What's the best thing that happened to me if I try? And I'm a natural optimistic and I'm always looking for opportunities, not problems. So for me something like that. But it was fear. There was so much fear in doing it took me forever, and then I'm like, okay, I'm just going to do it.

Brian: 17:24

So there was a whole process in this right, like you spent I'm hearing, like you spent a few days like wrestling with it. Can you identify the one like the tipping point, the straw, the broken camel's back for you that then you hit with it? However, long later, you hit record?

Brandon: 17:42

It was the opportunity to have a guest that I trusted right away, and I just so happened to have that situation where I was going with somebody that I believed in, I trusted what he had to say and I knew that he was going to give me feedback and the opportunity came for us to be together and I said let's do it. And he was all in and that really made it easy for me.

Brian: 18:11

And in that moment when that happened, what did you have? More of.

Brandon: 18:15

Confidence.

Brian: 18:17

Yeah, Like I can see it. I know this isn't a video. And now the other question is like how do you feel just having told me that?

Brandon: 18:28

Oh, I feel great I feel connected.

Brian: 18:30

Yeah, so what's happening is your brain is actually reliving the event. Now, the other question that I'll ask you is when's the last time you told that story?

Brian: 18:41

Wow, I really haven't told that story, yeah so we have this really meaningful thing to happen in our life that, because of how we're designed to connect, if somebody isn't so, I'm asking you that because it had inherent value to me, like I want to know how to do that because I'm going to have to do that stuff in the future again. But if it doesn't, if that story doesn't have value to someone right, or if somebody hasn't extracted that, then where are the opportunities for you to have that story heard or to have that story, as it did just now, bring value to another person? Like what just happened and likely happened not only for me but others? Listening is your story of how you got over that challenge, how you found that confidence just inspired not just me but other people, and before it was, it had the same value, but because it wasn't out in the world, that value never got expressed.

Brandon: 19:45

Hey, podcast family. This is great stuff. I had a whole list of questions that he has that I was watching all of his little TikTok videos and I have all these questions lined up and he just turned one back on me and now I'm connected with him and it's just, if you don't, if you're not lined up to listen to this guy's session up at PEAK, I'll be disappointed, because I hope to be first in line and have you guys join me with you on that. So as I get back with Brian here, okay. So, Brian, I want to talk about one of your stories that you share and it goes earlier in your career when you're talking with a 15 year old boy that was a meth addict, and that story to me meant a lot.

Brandon: 20:34

Of course, communication and connecting with a 16 year old is tough, but what I learned and I'm going to have you share the story if you would in summary, it meant a lot to me because it started getting to some of the how you got help through it to ask the right questions. Will you share that story?

Brian: 20:58

Yeah, gosh, I haven't. I don't know that. I've told that story for a while, so the abbreviated version is when I was a teacher in juvenile corrections, like a lot of other 20 year old kids, 21 or 22, I thought I knew everything and I thought that my job in juvenile corrections was actually to set these kids straight, to tell them what to do to all of that stuff, and I had a really good mentor, who's since passed on. That really got me into this the power of questions, with the term Ajuko. So Ajuko is the Latin root of education. It means to draw from within or to extract from, and it was philosophically the way we approach education, arguably up until the 16 or 1700s, and definitely we saw less and less of it in the industrial era, but the idea was that it wasn't, you know, telling the kid what to do while we need. That sometimes is less effective than helping the kid figure out what they want to do. And that's an abbreviated part of this. But like I kept arguing with this kid, nathan, who was just honest enough, quite frankly, but plenty of kids that were performing in juvenile corrections by that, like saying what I wanted him to say, going through the motions, doing the things they needed to do to get out. And Nathan, who was just honest enough to be like I'm not going to do that, I'm not going to do this, and so much of the experience with him, was starting to ask him different questions. This was well before we had the model that we built in the last four years. So I look at some of those questions now and almost go oh, that's why it was so hard. It's like you didn't have the value exchange model going on. We were trying to change him with the question, which is actually what made it so difficult.

Brian: 22:47

But that idea that it's less about me having the answers for them and more about helping them come up with the answers on their own. And that doesn't mean leading them. That means being inherently curious as to what their definition is of success, of goal, getting into what did they want, and at that time we would still go what do you want? We teach people not to ask or to lessen the amount that they ask. That would be a projecting question.

Brian: 23:18

It's projecting in the future, but the more we're able to help them clarify that then the easier our job is on giving them advice on how to get it, and we tend to, as leaders, as parents, we tend to give advice, give suggestions, give our opinion, give our feedback on assumed outcomes, meaning on assumed things. We assume they want things that we assume they're working towards Because we've shared the words but we don't realize that we don't share the definitions in those words. And so much of that video was just how he kicked me off into understanding the most powerful yet the most underutilized brain tool there is, which is questions, and how much more efficiency you create with the right questions. And then, as we go through our research in the last four years, when you know why you're asking them.

Brandon: 24:15

Yeah, yeah, that meant a lot as I help process through conversations with my son, as he's processing life coming from his background being adopted, being Ethiopian in a small community and just keep asking those questions because I want him to have all the answers.

Brian: 24:40

The answers are right there.

Brandon: 24:42

They're so much easier than he's making it out to be. But yet that question of just what do you want life to be? What do you want out of life?

Brian: 24:53

And I say that to parents all the time that like we didn't. When we go back to when we were kids, like our life didn't get easier and better because somebody gave us the answers. Our life got easier and better and more fulfilling when we had lessons that we drew answers from. So our job as leaders and parents isn't there are times we have to be directive and give answers.

Brian: 25:21

That's never going to change, right that. The more we can assist in the processing of experiences that lead to answers, and answers that are insightful not just for them but for us, the more we see their experience as providing insight, providing goodness to our own lives. That's how we help the kid believe that their story has value, that they have value, that they is, by showing them that their story has value to us. And so the art is how do we learn to find the value in their story, rather than, how are we directing the cadence and giving them direction on their story?

Brandon: 26:08

So how do you come up with the next question?

Brian: 26:12

The next question via more as you're.

Brandon: 26:15

You're talking to them. You get in this pause where you ask them that tough question and they're just not being honest with you. You know they're not being honest with you how do you ask the next question?

Brian: 26:26

Yeah, so I would say that. So we operate from the framework of like your, our job as a person, asking questions to understand the value to us and the answer right. So for instance, just broadly, when you ask a kid how was your day, you haven't told them what you're interested in. So they're gonna tell you, fine, right, because you haven't identified the value. If you simply change that to like what was the best part of your day, now I've told you what I'm interested and I can make that easier by saying, oh, I'd love to know the best part of your day because mine sucked and a good story would help me feel better. See how I've outlined the value in that.

Brian: 27:07

So, whatever we're asking kids or employees or spouse or us myself, if somebody hasn't, if my wife is just like how was your day? And I know that she's asking that because she cares for me, in my brain I'm like I understand you care for me and I can acknowledge that without wasting this energy on expending on something that I really don't want to talk about, right, but we can move that around being like so my wife is a counselor. So I'm always asking like what was the most interesting part of your day. What client surprised you today? She can't tell me the name, but she can tell me what happened and I'm interested and I don't have to fake interest in that. I'm not asking that just to make her feel better.

Brian: 27:54

And that's, I think, where it gets convoluted is we, like I sometimes bag on active listening, because I call it, act like you're listening. You don't have to remind yourself to pay attention, to maintain eye contact or reflect when you're actually interested in the story. And the majority of our questions to our spouse or kids, even our employees, are not about interest, they're about direction, and it's really hard to take direction from somebody that we don't feel is interested. The first question is the one that's interested, right. The first question is about connection. So that direction now has a place, right?

Brandon: 28:37

Yeah, thank you. I a couple of weeks ago, when I reached out to you and I started diving in, I started uncovering some of those questions and I started utilizing them in my text conversations, even with my son, as he was home and I was away. Instead of asking him how was his day, it's what was the best part of your day, and the text went from boring to he actually dove in and started telling me things, and then the next text got longer. And here I'm trying to connect with him and all it was a simple okay, what's the best part of your day, Because that's what I care about.

Brandon: 29:17

I didn't really don't want to dwell on the negative part what did you learn? One of the questions I asked him this weekend was what, how do you love yourself? And just, and the thought provides, I don't know how to answer that, but then he went on to tell me a lot of other things and then he kept coming back to the question and so each day I kept challenging him okay, today, how are you gonna love yourself? Yeah, it's that kind of question that I wish I could go back in time and ask have my wife asked me those questions after I got out of a hard day at work. Hey, what was the best part of your day? I don't need to give her a play by play, but I would love to give her the highlights of my day. Or even like hey, what were something you were proud of last week?

Brian: 30:00

Yeah, and that's, and I want to outline the difference. So a couple of things like what were you're proud of the week, what were you proud of in the day, versus, like I heard a couple of others, like what are you looking forward to today? Or what are you going to like when are you gonna love yourself today? We kind of connection can happen in a lot of different ways.

Brian: 30:19

When we look at our model, we really try to train people that, like you're always looking for a past experience, because a future experience is who I want to be or who you want to be. It doesn't tell you who I am. And so always getting into that past experience and actual experience. And so one of the questions I love to really change for folks that like I'll ask a group like how many y'all are into gratitude journals or understand the importance of gratitude, and then I'll have the ask them, how many of you? At the end of the day, right, what are you great? Or ask each other, what are you grateful for, right? And then I say stop doing that.

Brandon: 31:00

And the reason I say stop doing.

Brian: 31:02

That is so, just for context, if my wife and I and we got our 20th anniversary was last week, right, and so there's been one appreciate that, thank you there's been one or two times in that 20 years that we've disagreed, oftentimes for and not oftentimes so, every once in a while for more than one day. And so if you think about that question, what are you grateful for? And I just had a full day of arguing with my wife I'm gonna look at that question and be like I'm grateful for my wife, right, did I actually feel grateful in that moment or did I feel obligatory or guilty? So we switched. If you switch that question and this can have actually it's subtle but profound impact switch the question that you're asking each other and yourself to where in the last day did I feel grateful? Then you get into that moment and, just like when we had that conversation just a second ago, I'm reliving that feeling.

Brian: 32:04

And that's where the brain science comes in. That's actually what we know is that, especially in gratitude, it's your medial prefrontal cortex that's actually becoming more sensitive to that. The more it's experiences the sensation of gratitude, the more sensitive it becomes to it. So it literally starts changing how you see your day and so you can have much more impact on helping somebody both feel grateful and experience gratefulness in the future as well as yourself. But again changing that to like when did you feel grateful today? Right, yeah, and there's these little, if you will, manipulations of questions that are tied to that mutual value exchange that we've seen over the last four years just have in schools and teams. We've worked with the Air Force, we've worked with some large Fortune 500 companies, we've worked with parents and just little switches that can have really profound impact. And then, once people go up into the other levels of this through our certification and some of the other programs, can literally change cultures, and that's by design.

Brian: 33:16

That's really what we're building this thing out for.

Brandon: 33:19

Yeah, powerful stuff, Brian. I would be sad if I didn't ask the question I ask every guest what are you most proud of that you have overcome in your life?

Brian: 33:42

Yeah, two years ago my father took his own life and it was halfway through. Obviously, halfway through the current part of this connection and I like that's the most disconnected I've ever felt. My dad was my best friend from a little kid on up. Now we grew apart a little when we got older, just like sons and fathers do.

Brian: 34:05

And it wasn't a surprise to me when it happened. So there's a bit of history in it, but it was what happened afterwards that, like it was proud of me, we had to. It was this process that helped me understand that they life continued to go on, but B it was his. It was what happened and then how we got out of it that actually helped.

Brian: 34:34

There's a quote it's a biblical quote and I'm gonna mess it up, but then I heard somebody talk about it this way there are blessings that we don't want, and perhaps the greatest blessings are the ones that we don't want, and so this was that, like the last conversation I had with my dad in the hunting camp, we went hunting together for four days, deer hunting, and I could see the disconnection, I could see the isolation he had lost vision in one eye which led to him losing a business, which and then he had back surgeries or couldn't hardly move and he was alone with all of that and my father was a Marine and a miner brought up into that and I don't believe that he needed for me to help him or save him.

Brian: 35:22

But I think that experience taught me is that, with him gone, there are so many of his experiences that I didn't get the value from and understanding that through this process and what happened afterwards. If I'm proud of anything, it's that I'm helping other people not have that happen, that whether it's with my son or not my son I don't have kids but whether it's with our kids, our spouses, our team or the people around us that their stories that have value have a place for that value to be delivered. Right, yeah, so being able to take that from that has been pretty meaningful.

Brandon: 36:08

What a good way to say it. A blessing and it's. Those are the hard moments and the fact that you're overcoming it, and I'm sure there's days in the future that you're still overcoming it. Sure, yeah, that, yeah, thank you for being honest and sharing that with the podcast folks, because I know that there's many in the, there's many in the industry that have had loved ones that have committed suicide and there's it's hard to get through those moments and thank you for sharing that story.

Brian: 36:53

Yeah, thank you. Thanks for wrapping me on the podcast.

Brandon: 36:58

Is there anything that you want to share with the listeners as an invite to your event at peak 2024?

Brian: 37:07

Yeah, just to just come ready to interact. You don't get into a session with me without having to talk with another human, so prepare yourself for that. But I promise I've done this with thousands of people and nobody has ever died. I have to get the fight or fight brain to activated at the same time. We don't have conversations just to have conversations. We try to have conversations that have inherent value. If you're thinking of coming to those, you're not just going to get tools for your team or back home. It's actually giving you tools to make your what it ever does you do more sustainable.

Brian: 37:47

That and that's important because there's people that rely on you, people that need you, and so making sure that you're on a sustainable path through how you're connecting in a way that doesn't feel like you have to have a group hug every week, it's important, right? No, no, I guess not. But the group we work with, the culture folks and having 3 events like this is really about giving you a ton of value.

Brian: 38:14

We have the courses on our basic scores coming out pretty soon. But we also have the certification that pay a fair amount of money for and you'll are getting 3 pretty good. So we'll be able to get some depth and leave with some. Really, my goal is not. I don't really care If you understand the brain stuff, I don't care if you're a good state that, but I do care that people leave with tools that they can use. So that's where the focus will be for all of the presentations. Yeah.

Brandon: 38:45

Now, are they all the same presentation or the each one is different.

Brian: 38:49

No, they build off each other. Yeah, at least I'm just I'm recalling that in real time, so like, if that's not the case, then we'll run the other version of this tape, but I believe that they're, they build off each other. So we've done this at a couple of events where you know you get the tools the first day and then you're able to apply them, and then we, there's more the second and more the third, and the cool thing is especially like the first day, stuff will change your interactions at the event, right, I'm looking forward to that.

Brandon: 39:21

I'm waiting for someone to come up to me at the event and ask me a question that's engaging and that draws me in, yeah, and.

Brian: 39:28

I get to lean in on those events because I have notoriously I hated networking events. I don't. I'm not a sales person, and so these questions make it to where. I look forward to events like that, because I'm not going to just verbal vomit my elevator pitch to everyone and that I can get what I was looking for from the elevator pitch by asking somebody else questions, Right? If nothing else if you're not a big talker, we'll give you some questions, so you don't have to talk as much. Yeah, and get through the same outcome.

Brandon: 40:03

Well, poultry listening family, if you haven't gleaned something from this, then I I don't know what else I can offer you, because I feel Brian has he shared a lot today and after seeing the resources available that he has at the upcoming event. And hey, Brian, let me ask how do people connect with you outside the event? What's the?

Brian: 40:28

best way to go to find you goodcom. You can find me on the socials as well Instagram, Brian underscore for work. Tick tock is also Brian underscore for LinkedIn. I'm there as well. We're fairly. I try to be active on all three but I'm not consistent, I'll be honest. But yeah, they often the best way is go and find a goodcom and we have a free community that people can join and download resources and go to actual live sessions. And then, of course, there's the paid stuff, which I won't turn people away from because that's how I pay bills. But but with the basics and our certification and everything, and I always I feel like I have to mention we created a certification course about 2 years ago and the 1st person to to complete that certification was Darren Carter, who's head of I'm going to screw up his title, but he's essentially. I believe he runs the poultry division at Purdue. He's a professor in there.

Brian: 41:27

We spoke to some of his groups before, but, and I know he's going to be at this event Darren is like 1 a leader, so the chicken farming community is already represented, yeah, and he's been not just helpful in Not just a participant, but he's also been helpful in helping us improve the course and understand the framework.

Brandon: 41:49

So glad you asked me that, because I almost didn't Talk about Darren Darren's, just to have him be the 1st 1 that finished our certification.

Brian: 41:58

I remember him sending a name. I'll tell you 1st 1.

Brandon: 42:03

Yeah, really cool.

Brian: 42:04

Darren's a great guy, if you haven't met him go you really should, because he's a leader in the field and he's very forward thinking and it's just perfect.

Brandon: 42:15

super fun to be heard Very cool Shout out to Darren and maybe 1 day I can get him to be a guest here on the poultry leadership podcast, because he sounds like he's quite the leader already.

Brian: 42:27

So go on.

Brandon: 42:29

Brian, I will do that. So I appreciate you as a listener listening to our podcast today. Thank you for spending time. I know you have options. I know that there's a lot of distractions out there, but just the fact that you're able to spend time here on the poultry leadership podcast. None of this would be possible without prison controls. They are the sponsor for the poultry leadership podcast and if you're at the peak event, they do have a booth.

Brandon: 42:55

I do know that I will be speaking at a TED talk on stop the burn all about fire detection and prevention. So please stop on by on Wednesday and listen to the TED talk. If you want to speak with me at the show, that'd be great to. I'll be at the peak event booth because that's where I work and that that's what makes me my bills. So just appreciate you guys, listeners, and look forward to finding out how, what questions you're asking your family, your employees. That's helping you get to be better communications. So please come join me for a tech talk on Thursday at 11am. I'll be on the exhibitor stage.

Brandon: 43:37

I look forward to seeing you in the audience giving me some support as I talk about fire and all the new products that Prism Controls have that not only detects fire but responds to fire. So I look forward to seeing you there. I can't wait to hear the questions that you're now asking your family, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, and just figuring out how Brian's helped you today. So stop by, share what this podcast means to you and also make sure you participate in Brian's business track. It's all three days, thank you. Have a great day.