26: Part TWO: Bring on the Husbands! Hot Takes on Fair Play - Dividing the Mental Load of the Modern Day Household featuring The Fat Electrician and Calvin!

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my wife does this thing where she goes around and hides all my shit. She calls it cleaning. But I swear to God, she's just hiding my stuff on me and then I can't find it. Hey guys, it's Kalissa jumping in here before the start of the episode. I am MIA from this episode because I had to work and we only have four microphones so it worked out okay. Sarah and Hannah and Nick and Kelvin recorded this episode that being said, I just do want to give a forewarning. This episode is not going to make sense to you if you did not listen to our previous episode on the Fair Play documentary, or if you haven't watched the Fair Play documentary on Hulu, I would recommend grabbing your partner and watching that before you listen to this episode and letting us know your thoughts and comments on our Instagram. 30 crying and trying, you can find us there. We make a post every Friday when the episode comes out. One more disclaimer I have is that this episode does contain a lot of swearing. Thank you, Nick, for that, um, that I did not edit out. It would be too hard to do that, so not super safe to listen with kids around. Sarah and Hannah are a little nervous that this episode might have really hot takes that you might disagree with but I honestly love that we get the husband's perspective on fair play because us women are, you know, in love with the concept and you'll find that the men are maybe not so in love with the concept. So, anyway, it's a great discussion point, especially for husbands and wives. sharing the mental load. So I can't wait to hear what you guys think. Again, head over to 30 crying and trying and leave your comments on Instagram. And as bummed as I am about not being in the episode, they did an excellent job. So just enjoy. Bye guys. Well, you heard our wonderful intro that Kalissa put in, and now the time has come where Sarah and I have our husbands. Because Kalissa's working tonight. Yeah. She's a lady of the night, aka a night nurse. Don't say it like that. She says it like that, so I feel like it's okay that I just said it like that. Maybe not. She can take that out if she doesn't like it. I guess, yeah. All right. By the way, this is Sarah. I think that's a slur. Only night nurses are allowed to say it like that. Oh, okay. We'll introduce ourselves. You gotta be one to say, Oh my gosh, this is going to be kind of chaotic. So what did you think was going to happen? Just be quiet and let me do my thing. I didn't even think I'd pay all the bills. Nick. Okay. This is Hannah and Sarah. And then there are two idiots. Idiots. This is Nick. This is Calvin. Yeah, so it, um, we decided to bring our husbands on, but I think Sarah and I are going to regret it. Yeah, I already regret it. We haven't even started. Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry. That's all right. That's all right. What do you guys talk about here? All right, so the other day we all watched, continuing off of the last episode that we filmed. Yes. We all watched a documentary on Hulu called Fair Play. The cards that we did the other day. I literally couldn't watch with Nick because he bitched about it the whole time. Calvin also was not impressed as anyone would. Calvin was not impressed either. I am not a very like conspiratorial person. I think that, I know you are, but like, I, I far prefer to fair on like the government's not evil geniuses are all dumb asses and I've never sat down and watched a documentary and been like, this is. A psychological operation. Yeah. To drive up divorce rates for no fucking reason. Documentary was rigged. But, but does it give you, uh, kind of an eyeopener though, of some of the mental load? I mean, some, some of them have pretty decent examples that I could empathize with, but some of them were literally just glorifying, being batshit crazy. let's, can we straight? We have specific examples that you were speaking of. Yeah. So there was one example where the husband was like. My name's whatever the fuck and I managed 12 industrial facilities for a full time job And my wife is a stay at home mom. She does a great job. I love her very much blah blah blah blah blah and then She explains, you know, the struggles of being a stay at home mom, which is all fine and good and dandy and then she's like Well, yeah, no, my husband helps me around the house whenever I ask him to, he does whatever I ask. And then she has a fucking note down about how, but I shouldn't have to ask. Can you remind me which couple this is? Blows my mind. No, I can't. You don't remember what he looks like? Is this the guy that's kind of short with the gray hair? Wasn't it the main guy? I thought it was black hair, but it might have been black and gray. I think it was the main guy. He had like a, they had like a really, really nice house. It was the main girl's husband. Probably. Oh, she had her own company then. She's, she wasn't a stay at home mom. She had her own company, so she also worked full time. Okay. So no one paid attention. It was full. The documentary, her name was Eve. The woman who created this system, husband was Adam. Is that what you're talking about? I don't know. It was Eve and like Josh or something like that. I don't know. I don't know. I just watched a woman have a meltdown about she's mad that she has to ask. Basically, she was mad. Her husband couldn't read her mind and it was, yes, it was pretty hard to just watch, like see what we, he's, he's will, she's like, he's willing to do. Whatever I ask, I'm just mad that I have to ask. And I'm like, that's fucking crazy. But is it though, to some degree, because I feel like we all know what needs to be done to a degree in a household. And if a man can't like comes home and can't recognize that whatever it is needs to be done, like what's the point? What depends if your man is coming home from Something that requires mental capacity all day versus just I'm sorry. Do I also not have you do a capacity required all day? It's not a you verse me converse I know and I don't mean to me because we have this conversation That's kind of where it kind of gets that is like that's where it kind of comes down to is me verse you I feel like that's what the documentary was doing was like Well, I gotta do it a competition. Yeah, I Statement a marriage should come. Yeah, where a marriage is a unity of people. Yes, but it's very hard during work It's very hard to separate. You're very quiet. And then it made the men look like they were the dumbest people I've ever Because Calvin just did that to me anyway Something that I really didn't like from the From the thing was when she was talking about It like women have this whole like I don't need anyone attitude That's dumb. That's the stupidest attitude I've ever heard in my life. It was so dumb. It really bothered me. And I was like then why even be married and why don't you just go do by yourself? There's nothing worse than that. I don't need men attitude. I'm a man and I need other men. Yeah, okay Everybody needs other people to make this shit show fucking function. I hate to break it to you Yeah, no one person is getting this going by themselves. I fucking hate that attitude. Yeah, I agree and it's always coming from people that Honestly don't know how to check how much oils in their fucking car, okay I've heard it from men and women but it's always people that don't have any fucking clue about how the world around them actually Fucking works like the first person that's fucking quitting and survivor is the person that has that attitude I have a feeling that a lot of your Rants are gonna get cut Don't disagree I don't disagree. Um, what is everyone's feelings about like the trad wife? Cause that was another thing I had taken notes on. Trad wife is like a traditional wife. So they stay home with the kids. They do the bulk of the childcare, the bulk of the housework. It's like, you know, 1950s housewife. So for you guys, it's great. That's like my dream. I wish I was better at it. Yeah. I like it. I like being a traditional wife, but I do have some feminist friends who, you know, Are secretly fucking jealous the entire time? Maybe, maybe. Is it jealousy? So podcast is getting canceled after this. Please don't cancel. Don't cancel the wives. Just the hospital. Yeah, that's fine. Then there is no podcast because I can't buy all the equipment. Listen, let's not talk ourselves up. And I can't buy the equipment as the other thing. Um, something I really liked about the podcast moving on from that, or I'm sorry, the whatever the fuck the Melinda Gates. Yep. Like when she talked a lot. Anyways. Um, I appreciated that. It talked a lot about how difficult it is for the moms after they have kids. Like basically the baby is the universe and you know, we all have to deal with like. The postpartum depression or the this or that or whatever by ourselves. I feel like that was the real selling point is postpartum is not talked about. I agree. For dads too. We went through it. For dads too. Well, I don't think I went through it, but. Yeah, you did your own just a little bit. I mean, it's your own thing. Maybe it was outside sources, I guess at the time that were like issues, but I think it's just a new chapter in a woman's life. Different and just a parent's life. You know? You went from the community though around families, especially like young families called really nice d dink quads, you know? You think quad fuck is that? You get called that at work life. Besides like dual income. No kids, not an idiot dog with a, that sounds derogatory as fuck. I be honest, was horrible. I don't know. Dink sounds like some type of L-G-B-T-Q slur. If I'm being completely honest, it kind of does. Yeah. Like a hundred percent It does. Yeah. Okay. But it stands for dual, especially D Dink is good. Dual income, no kids with a dog. With a dog. Dink quad is 1930s slang for Indian God is what that means. That that's kind of Yeah, I don't, I don't disagree with that. I like it. Oh boy. You like that term? I, you know, I would not wanna be called him. I like, you know, Nick and I being Dink squads. Oh, we didn't even really have a chance to be dinkwads. We were barely dinkwads. Dual income. We had half income. No kids. We had one and a half. Oh, we had pretty good income. We had, yeah, we had a good income for being 20 years old. But how, um, how long were you guys married for? Like not even two years. Just over a year before we got pregnant. Okay. So yeah, you had a little bit of a dink life. Very short. Yeah, we lived it like I can't handle saying dink anymore It's not doable, I don't like it Okay. Here's another question. What do we feel about the dad's going back to work right away because you've had both experiences. Oh Yeah, I'm cool taking time off. I'm whatever we can afford. Do you wish it was paid for? I wish it was paid for. Yeah, but. I realize that that's kind of a silly dream, but that'd be nice. What? That's cool. For like, you know, everyone's time off to just be paid for when they're. Well, yeah. Other countries have it that way, but. I wasn't going to say that. Living it's different. Yeah, I mean to some degree. Yeah, but yeah more than here Yes, they also have 65 percent taxes. Yeah, and like a population smaller than Des Moines We should all have the same income Nick is over here like fire coming out of his ears smoke I love it I don't know. I feel like I'm the only one asking questions right now. I'm the only one that took notes. Sorry, what was your question? Uh, what was my question? Oh, like, what was your life as a dinkwad? No, I mean, yeah. When you went, when you went back to work, did you feel good about going, like, when did you go back to work? No, so like, I don't, maybe this is just me, maybe this is just me, I don't know, but like, women, uh, everybody talks about, like, women having postpartum depression, like, At least for me, like you get postpartum fuckin anxiety. Yep. Like, hey, no worries, your wife that can barely walk after she just gave birth to your kid and your child that's basically helpless, they need money to pay for all the shit. Better figure that the fuck out. Otherwise, you guys can just go live in a box on the side of the road. So, like, the The dad in my case and his case, like you get that pressure thrown on you. So, so you, you've got the financial pressure put on you. Yeah. Like I'm like, I gotta see it like a caretaker, like me and family caretaker, maybe Sarah, you know, the, we get told like, don't lift heavy objects, don't drive, don't do that, but also come to your appointment, come do this. Don't forget that your husband's going back to work. So like you're doing this all by yourself to do the dishes. You still have to do whatever, whatever. And keep this little human alive, carry around my 10 pound baby. When I'm not supposed to lift more than 10 pounds. I'm like, what are you talking about? How am I supposed to live, bro? Yeah. Yeah. Well, when we had Gus and Bronson, I was at a different job. Yeah. I did get paid two, two weeks. He had the first time you were only home for a week. Yeah, with Gus. Okay, and you got paid for that week the second time. They switch the policy. Yeah, they switch the policy Okay, you got two but now if we had another kid, they don't have to pay for those two weeks. There's no parenthal It's paternity leave but yeah paternity leave that's what it is. Yeah, you take time off but it's not paid right now I'll just do that When I don't Okay Well, but you have like vacation time that you can use that's paid out. Yeah. No PTO. No, no. It's automatically paid out basically. So every three months you get a check. Yeah. Yeah. They get to hang on to your money until you want it. Oh, I, I suppose maybe Nick did everything and I just, I'm just living my life over here. So Nick had the mental load, is what you're saying? The financial mental load, which we've talked about on the previous episode that like, She needs to learn some stuff so that if you die Mm-Hmm. She's not in the dark. Yeah. Yeah. Is the dark'cause your lights got shut off because the, I'm gonna think that the power company turned it off and I'm like, oh my God. What do you mean I have to pay the bills? who bills do I need? How do I hate? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's gonna be a kind of a mess. So, yeah, that's okay. Yeah, Nicholas, write all your passwords on a piece of paper. Oh, I already do. I already write my passwords down No, nick's eyes. I just forget mine and then I just forget about writing them down. You want to see a level of psychotic? You should see me log into my YouTube account. Bro, there's fucking, it's like 36 characters long, there's a special key that I have to plug into my computer and enter another password, and the only way to log in is to have that fucking key. If I die, you're gonna have to run around this planet and collect the fucking horcruxes to get into my shit. It's untouchable. Were you a Harry Potter fan? No. Oh, I love that. You just pulled that little snippet out of it. If I could, wow. You know, Harry Potter. Really? Yeah. So it used to be not anymore. Oh, did you read the books? Nick? Did I read the books I would have read them if I knew how to read I'm so old that they were still debating on whether or not you should allow Harry Potter in schools because it showed all craft Now it's now look at what they let in schools now it's for a different reason that they're debating the Harry Potter stuff So I saw a tick tock and this guy what's an NBA? No, no, I'm just making things up. Sorry, anyway, he was playing like these video games and you know, they would pay like 400, 000 for him to play video games like it was paying for their income Basically his houses his cars and you know this lavish lifestyle and his girlfriend would complain That all he does is sit and play these video games and he's like, well, this is my income. This is what I do so she deleted his All his computer games that made him money and he and she like recorded it thinking he was gonna have a funny reaction Oh, he did I bet banish her to the fuck. I bet he had a reaction horrible reaction Like he like threw crap all around he broke his desktop like everything and then she's over here like Oh my god, like I didn't think you'd freak out this bad and he's like, are you kidding me? I made four hundred thousand dollars a year or whatever I just remember that was the amount so I fucking hate people. Yeah. So, I mean, that's just dumb God. Yeah. I mean, the internet was not on her side. No. They were like, oh, what would, what did you expect your boyfriend won the lottery? He got to fucking play video games and be in the top 1% of the planet for doing it. And you deleted his account? He deleted it and she was recording everything, like cutting up all his stuff. Oh. So I just, um, I hope, I hope. That she gets sued and has to pay him every cent she makes for the rest of her life That's what people are saying. They're like he should sue her and she should she should be in prison Prison, yes, absolutely. I mean that's destruction of property. That's destruction of intellectual fucking property Oh, that's really that's even worse like yeah, it's digital but like it's no different than if I walk down the street to like The electrical shop I worked at poured a gasoline on it and lit it on fire at night when and nobody got hurt like the same concept Except insurance isn't gonna pay to replace his shit because it's all digital. Yeah, but the views lighting arson would be green Yeah, so that was just something that I saw and like an influencer Pay. Yikes. Yeah. That's awful. So we, are we playing this card game or what are, are we playing? Are we talking about back? We can't, we can, I wanna talk about, I wanna finish the last couple things that I have written down that's, yeah. Um, oh, they're like Bigas cards. Those are like tarot cards. So Calvin and I were talking about, about future Listen. Dammit, listen. Okay. So Calvin and I were talking about this while we were watching. Oh, fuck. But there was some statistics basically about, it was broken down into races, I think, right? Yeah. About women actually being the breadwinners in majority of families. Mm-Hmm. How do you feel about that? Okay, hold on. Like that's very open, what more about it? Well, you just say what you were talking about. And then the full story, it's like, I googled it because I'm like, I don't believe that. Because it was like, 65 percent of this is like majority breadwinner of this race. It's female. It was like black women, Asian women, like in succession. And every time it was the female was the breadwinner. Every time? Every time. Except for the white women. Except for the white women was only like 41 percent or something. No, it was like it was 41%. That was like other, that was like Asian, something. Anyway, googled it right away. First stat's wrong. I'm like, okay, what is going on? So people can just make up stats. To push any narrative they want, and there's no accountability to it. Well, then it's also like, and then when, like, we want to, because I play the stats game all the time, Like the other way that they get doctored is like, off the top of my head, it's like, well, in divorced couples, How do you rank that? Cause then in a divorce couple, they're only going to end up looking at one parent or the other, whoever claimed them on their taxes that year and be like, Oh, all these divorce couples where she gets all the credit for it, even though there's two completely separate households. Yeah. It's like so I mean I wouldn't trust those stats. I watched enough of the video I know fucking psychological propaganda when I see it That's exactly what that video was and I know it is because now look what we're doing We're playing the products. They have to sell you right believe in their bullshit. Yeah, exactly. Well, I was an ML levy It's a fucking scam. It was very echo chambery because every female on there was on the same, I shouldn't say political side, but everyone was like very similar. Their kitchen was bigger than my whole house. Like, I don't want to hear someone complain when their kitchen is bigger than my old house. Like they're like, yeah, this financial blah, blah, blah. And it's Rose. I mean, it just was beautiful homes. So how do you, uh, what's that guy's name? The, the financial guy. Dave Ram Ramsey. Yeah. Goofball. I think that guy's a goofball. I love the parodies that people do of him. The parodies are, you're poor, you're poor. beans and rice, long term nutrition. Doesn't matter. You're working three jobs. Okay, give a fourth job. Doesn't matter. You're gonna need, is he different or is he about the same level? He's the opposite end. He's just the same. He's the same on the other end. How much does he make? A lot, hundreds of millions. He's got multiple shows. Right. And he's got like different systems. It's like, you're dumb. Pay it off. Well, okay. So, but when Nick and I were discussing this a couple of days ago, I think we both agreed, correct me if I'm wrong, but that the biggest issue maybe that we see collectively canceled for sure is no, we're not, I'm very kind. I am very, it was that it's less about the actual distribution of the load. And it's more about the, like, compassion and understanding and, like, thoughtfulness that we have for each other. Because I, I found that most of those men were just like idiots. And they're just like, I didn't know she did that. And it's like, hello. But they made it men versus women versus just people. I completely disagree with that part. Okay. Okay. What do you mean? Here, here, here's my point of view. So like, cause you agreed with me the other day, just FYI, you phrased it drastically different because I couldn't remember what I actually said the other day, but it's the same principle. What did the stats say though? So like, Okay, if you're gonna say it like that, I guess, like my big issue is like, granted, I work from home now, but when I wasn't working from home, I think there's a big psychological factor in the fact that you're a stay at home mom, like, you live where you work, you see everything all the time, so when Calvin comes home from work, and You're It feels like he's not fucking doing anything, even though he just worked for eight to 10 hours doing something else and like, you're like, Oh, he's here and he's not helping me. But at the same time, he never is in a situation where like, you're never walking around an industrial facility with him, not fucking doing electrical work. Right. You know what I mean? So it's like, there's that psychological factor that I could imagine would be hard to deal with where it's like, Oh, he never fucking helps me at work. You never help him at work either. Right. Yeah, but that then is like, the, the point is that you should, you should come home and then the responsibilities then from there on out will be split 50 50 until he goes back to work. Maybe. In terms of, mostly in terms of, in my opinion, childcare, which is where we often got upset with each other. I mean, yeah, potentially, however you guys work it out. When I was like, can you just change that diaper? And you're like, Ooh, it just worked. They'll do. And I'm like, I just changed 50, 000 diapers. So I don't know, I guess with me and like me and Hannah, like the thing that used to bug the shit out of me and still does sometimes like will like expect me to do something and I'll be like, all right. I'm gonna like try it and then I do it and then I just get told that I fucking did it wrong I'm done. Well, then it's like, okay, well the towel thing I'm not gonna do it again because apparently I do it wrong and then it's like, okay Well now you're mad at me because I didn't do it. But when I do do it, I do it wrong What the fuck do you want from me? And then yeah, and then it turns into okay, I'll do it But I need you to ask me and show me how to do it and then you're mad Not not you. This isn't you all the time, but I'm going back to the video movie where she's like Matt I shouldn't have to ask it's like and I shouldn't have to train him how to do it either it's yeah, okay, if you have a very specific way that you want the fucking towels folded and He like that shit doesn't matter to a dude if the fucking bed is made the bed is made It doesn't matter if it's hospital corners or whatever Fucking other origami shit you guys haven't going on with the sheets like it's all the same to a dude So like I feel like sometimes with some people there's this expectation of like off the top of his head He should know exactly how I do it and when I want it done And I shouldn't have to ask him for that help ever and I think that's where you get to the level of like, okay This is fucking crazy. Yeah, and I think my expectations around that have changed quite a bit since we first got married Which is why I think when we split our laundry duties, Calvin washes the laundry and then sometimes I put it away because I'm very particular. What's the laundry duties? Put it in the washer, pull it out, and let it sit in the bin until you pull it out. Yes. I'm particular about the way that things are folded and put away and Calvin just like leaves doors open and leaves things like He puts the bins in sideways, like not even in side, being the straight way. Oh my God. He puts his shirts in backwards in the closet. And I'm just like, God, you're so stupid. But I don't, but also it's like, so, but that's what I'm saying. Like, but it bothers me. And so that's why I'm like, I will put it away. Please. Sometimes if you please watch it. Yeah. If it's like, so that's why I'm saying we've let go some of those. Okay. That's standards along the way. But I understand what you're saying. I, I do get it. I get it. Right. Like, I mean, it's been like 10 years. I've never used the right towel. Ever. Yeah. I've never, I know I used the wrong towel one time at Hannah's house, and she was like, what are you doing? I don't remember that. It did happen. It did happen. Hannah gave me$10. It did not happen. I, I know it didn't. Yeah, but that's like, that's something I wrote down too, is that men and women tend to just be, we just are fundamentally different human beings. Our brains work differently, we are different. The documentary was like sugar, not sugarcone ing, it's called honey dicking? Honey dicking? Yeah, it's called, it's like, it's this thing, but actually underneath, it's ulterior motive, it's just a different way to say it. Oh, no, this is how we're gonna make great marriages. But like they're like, well, here's all your differences and here's what we're gonna there's so many Undertones where it's like, yeah, you should just get divorced Like look at all these little things where you're actually gonna get pissed off long term and that you just be the best you don't ever Conform to having a relationship with somebody. I think you have to be careful sometimes because I think sometimes when we are in this kind of like situation with this little system, it's like You You tend to be like, okay, this one person is correct about every single thing. Whereas, and this other person needs to change and do a complete one 80 cause they're wrong all the time. Yeah, it's like, and really like, you're both kind of wrong sometimes and you should both just be like, you know, working that out with that fucking movie. But that's what I'm saying. That's why I let that in that point, I agree with what Calvin said, but that movie is winning because we're talking about it, right? Well, it's a good, uh, I don't know. It's an opens up eyes a little bit. I think there are a lot of men who are like unaware of the screen, but talk to your person around it, you know, have like a conversation about it, not like attacking one another until you get pissed off and then you're like, that movie told me this, like, I know I'm thinking like, then there's this little things that you're going to have mental battles. Of well, I saw this on that. Oh yeah. The same person that just got divorced. Yeah. They went through a lot of slippery slopes to get pissed off at each other. There's faults to both sides. Yeah. That's everything. Yeah. Nothing's absolute. Yeah. We're not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, why didn't embrace that versus like they're wrong and you're wrong. It's like, okay, yeah, but make it work. Because it's, and this isn't against women, but it's saying that this is one woman who's speaking for a sex. Who said women are like this and we're all angry about it. So that's why that's but that's what I'm saying. That's why It came off that way. Yeah. Yeah. One sided. A little bit. For sure. Just a little. And then all the husbands were nerds. But I do appreciate her husband. And I told them that. They were dorks. Her husband did, like, acknowledge that he's kind of a dumbass sometimes. Like. Yeah. For a while. So I do appreciate. They're like, what context? I need to know. Like, what was that thing where. He walked by a broken bottle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The coat was on the lawn with a broken bottle and he had texted her about it like hours before and he said, he's like, yeah, I walked by that like three or four or five times and I just didn't pick it up. If it was like California, you'd be like, Oh, homeless guy shitting. Yeah, that's normal actually. Like I can't do that. So maybe they're in Portland, Oregon. I don't know. So like, that I did appreciate. He just was like, That guy's just fucking goofy, I think. So like, you know, I don't know. I think the one that I saw of part of the scene is where like, she wanted to have a girls day and all these women's husbands were messaging them like, Oh my gosh. What do I, what do I feed them? Uh, when did you change them last? How do I change a diaper? And I, because I've gotten those messages before from you where it's like, what bin is the kids jammies in? Here's the thing. Do you think I was smart though? That's way different than what do I feed them? What do I feed humans is a much dumber question than where is blank. Is it better than like, is it better than, listen, though, listen, is it better than Calvin's idea of a meal for the children is plain noodles with Parmesan cheese. That's not a meal. That is not a meal. Is a vegetable with it, put a protein with it, be a human and feed your children appropriately. But thank God it's not like 24 seven. Well, I know because if I died, you know, I wouldn't know what to do. And he'd move in with his sister. So I hated, I hated the season fall. Because my parents would go 50 50 on the chores. So my dad wouldn't do the night time because he had to wake up at 3am to do chores. So my mom would take over the night time. Farmers, by the way. Farmers, yes. Taking care of cattle. Feeding pigs and shit like that? No, it was, it was the fall season. So it was field work. It was crops, yeah. Yes. Okay. So that's just even stressful corn stuff. We're going like hotel managers or like soybeans or something. Overnight shift. But I hated the fall season because my dad could not cook. So we had either tuna from a can or popcorn. Yeah, yeah. Just like, look how you turned out popcorn. You got a podcast. Popcorn. Popcorn. It wasn't the microwave popcorn. It was like the old fashioned, like popper popcorn. But you can't fill up on popcorn. No. So every fall you lost like 10 pounds because Oh, I love fall. But to me, it just brings horrible memories. I want to go back to this fucking pajamas drawer. Okay. What? Hold on. Before that nutrition doesn't exist and put that on the record. But he says that because he grew up eating. I'm like the healthiest woman alive. Only gobstoppers. He's like 165 pounds. You've got like no body fat. Twice his size. I know. He hasn't eaten an adult meal in his whole life. He eats like two bags of candy and a strip of fucking Slim Jim. One time in our 10 year marriage, I've seen him eat. Uh, fruit and I could probably count on my two hands, two hands, the amount of times that he's eaten vegetables. So it was like a grape. We went to the store to get snacks. We went to the store to get snacks and he's like, wow, I'm really proud of you for picking like a healthy snack. And I was like, thanks. I feel really good about that. And then he's like, can I have one? I'm like, yeah, sure. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Your nutrition is your belief where it's hitting your body and cancer and die. Just got to eat more cancer. Okay. So what about the Jamie drawer? Completely fair question. What? That's a hundred percent of fair. Question. If do you always put the pajamas on the kids? No. Well, maybe at that time, If you always put the pajamas on the kids and he doesn't know where they're at, like that makes sense to me. But he could literally just open the drawers and look. I mean, yeah, also. This goes back to when I, when I text Hannah to ask her a question instead of Googling it. And Hannah needs a tool and she's like, fuck it, the door, the door. Cutter locked himself in the bathroom. I need a long skinny screwdriver. I don't go goddammit Hannah go in my toolbox and just fucking look around You're like you're it out. No Left hand side it's got a green handle and she's like, okay. Thank God like you know what I mean? Like I don't get mad or goddammit. This is our home Skinny screwdriver is what the fuck? Okay. How about it? Was it you or Gus that broke the faucet? It was, uh, Gus, I think. Okay, anyway. Cause he turned it on all the way. Oh my gosh! okay, I'll turn it off when I'm home. Like seriously, I don't know what a shutoff valve is. Even though there's one handle underneath the sink. One thing. Which I, I didn't freak out about. But I could tell that you were annoyed with me when you came home. Yeah, I mean. And, You, okay, I'm accepting my fault in that, but I also, you know, me and, you know, when I get frustrated that there is no AKA, please dumb it down. There's no thought process. There's no brain cells. It's just, Oh my gosh, something bad is happening. Okay. So now this is turning into you did this and I did that. No, it's just like, I just want you to, I don't want you to be annoyed with me when you come home. Visibly because then I get even more like oh my gosh I'm just I'm in the shitter now because he's gonna be so upset with me and I'm gonna cry Yeah, but then I just like watching YouTube and I'm like sweet I'm so chill other than the day at work Like I I don't get too mad about much for a long period of time. Usually it's like You say that and then you like give me the silent treatment sometimes Stupidest person at the end of the day. It really doesn't matter. I don't get too mad for longer than so No, sometimes I wish I got to sleep you do Barely the fuck you talking about their kids wake up really early. Just FYI. My kids are psychopaths. Yeah, we bought the kids an alarm clock because we're like, you have to stop. We grow. We buy a cutter and alarm clock too. It turns green. And he's still like stay in the room. I got them out of the screen and he'll come in like, dad, it turned green. It's 430 in the morning. No, it didn't. Yes, it did. No. There was one time it was I just heard footsteps going. Like 40 yard dashes like we have like one strip of hallway they can run and they were just doing it back and forth I look at my clock and it's like 3 30. Oh, I'm like, what are you guys doing? Oh, I just I'm like Okay, go to bed. All right Like they just woke up and thought they could do 40 yard dashes in the hallway and it was the most bizarre thing I'm just like growing pains. Oh, you think like they're no I've never had I don't even I don't remember that at all. So I have no idea. I've never had a growing pain Really? What you guys are crazy. I didn't eat enough to get a growing Calvin's lacking all the deficiency Sorry, we're fixing bushes here. I poked my finger. Oh, he's got he ran in the field again Nicholas. Oh My goodness pause And then I have one more thing on my list. Okay, go on with your list. There we go. Okay. Wow, that's disgusting. Okay, so this wasn't in the video, but I was curious what everyone's thoughts were because this, Calvin and I have this argument a lot. Okay? I've never argued in my life. That's not true. Okay. The thing that I wrote down was basically that, If something is put on the table, or let's say some socks are left on the floor. Leave it there. No. You, sir, leave them there with the expectation that I'm gonna come and the expectation, I just expect them to come and be there. Okay, I'm the opposite. I leave, like, I don't leave dirty clothes and shit out very much, but like, or if I do it's like a pie on the corner or whatever, but like, if I set some shit on the fucking table, like, I expected to remain there for fucking ever. Okay. But if it's a dirty cup, uh, garbage, uh, dirty socks, a shirt that he takes off, hold on, is it, is it, is it one fucking cup right by the sink? It's like one cup in the living room. It's like a half full bottle of soda just randomly on a table in the living room. See, I'm dumb. I'll have like. I need one cup forever. Yeah. I'll be like, I just like, this is, this is my cup that I drink. Like, just leave it. If it's out of the way here on the counter, leave it, leave it here. Out of the way we have to, but my wife does this thing where she goes around and hides all my shit. She calls it cleaning. But I swear to God, she's just hiding my stuff on me and then I can't find it. Nick doesn't leave his stuff out. He just has little A DHD piles. Mm-Hmm. And they stack up. They're highly efficient. Months and months and months and months. They're highly efficient. I agree. And Calvin gets upset with me and everything. I finally go through it and I'm like, okay, Nick, this is literal garbage. We don't need this. You think it's garbage, whatever it is, it's important. And then it's fine. Like if you want to clean my ADHD vials, it's fine, but it's like, it gets, it gets to me when it's like something important or I'm in a hurry and I'm like, where is my X, Y, Z? After like seven months of it sitting there, where did you put it? And you're like, I don't even know what that is. I just started putting your shit places that I thought it should be. I don't know what they are and I don't know where I fucking put them. Good luck. Okay. Oh no. Have you gotten to the point now where your kids have started to pick up on that? Because our kids have, and they leave things out all the time with the expectation that I'm just gonna walk behind them with my little feet and pick up after them and be like, Okay, I'm gonna pick this up after you. I'm gonna pick up your dirty this and your garbage. I have small feet. They're only like a size seven. That's below average, I think. I think I'm an eight. I think wow, you have big feet I leave clothes out because I don't wear my clothes out long because monday, tuesday, thursday And where do you leave them when I was working? And where do you leave them because it's like you're like you have work clothes that you work for it And then they're disgusting you come home and you change you're like i'm gonna wear this shirt for two hours and then go to bed Okay, but then where do you leave them? I don't know you leave them in the communal places on a chair on the floor in the living room on the couch in the living So then i'm like And then you come in the next day and you've got a different shirt on and you're like, well, I was going to wear that shirt again. And I'm like, wait, I know that's life. I forget. But that's the point is that I'm the one who's expected to pick it up. You're not expected. I forgot. No one's expected to do anything with that. Hey, can you pick that up? Then you're like, Oh, I was gonna. I will, but then a week later, a week later, then maybe it's there. So on the weekends, sometimes I just do this experiment where I don't pick up after people and then Monday comes around and our house is so fucking dirty because nobody else picks up after themselves. That's just not true. It's fucking true. Sarah, I do these little experiments too. There's been a diaper on our toilet in the bathroom for a couple times and Nick has still not thrown it away. It's cause it's not dirty. Just so He only wore that for two hours. No, it's a dry diaper and I'm scared to throw it away, you know why? Because 48 hours ago, when you gave the boys a bath and you had a diaper on the counter by the sink and you threw it away, I threw it away and you got mad at me. So now there's another diaper on the toilet, which is very close to the fucking counter, by the way. And I'm like, Hannah's probably fucking saving that one too, I better not touch it. If you would've just looked at the diaper and thought there was no blue line, put it away. No. Diapers are new or they're garbage. There's no in between. Diapers are new or they're garbage. On the child or they're in the fucking trash can. There's zero in between. There's no variance whatsoever in my brain, but like I do these like, like toilet paper rolls. I'm like, oh, isn't that gonna change? Let's toilet paper. Okay, let's talk about about. That's bad. Bad about change, but usually it's because circles half the roll off and throws in the toilet. It's not true and that's not true. Takes the other half. Nobody likes to get pee on their hands So I just wrap it a few extra times just to make sure there's no little pee dribbles When you wipe you you do full 360 around the hand. No, but yes You're not like I usually I usually go and let it roll and then I fold it nicely I do the same single ply shit or what? Here's what you do. Like a man, you just squeeze until it's purple and then you go, Oh, it's done. I usually just forget. By the time I walk out of the bathroom, there are no thoughts of anything that happened in the bathroom in my mind. Yeah, I tried to not even think about what happened in the bathroom most of the time. Well, that's what I'm saying. So I'm like, I didn't know there wasn't toilet paper because that was five minutes ago already. I already forgot. I'm so mad about this diaper experiment. That's the worst example you could have picked on the planet. You literally yelled at me two days ago for throwing away a diaper on the counter. If you would have just looked at the diaper and saw that there wasn't a blue line that I was going to read. I'm not playing blues clues. If there's a diaper on the counter now, it's getting left there. Cause I got in trouble for throwing away diapers on the counter. All right. Do we want to take a minute and have you guys go through these cards? What are we doing with this? So we gave the boys, uh. The card game, the fair play that we did the other day with Calissa trading cards. So what you need to do is make two separate pile or three, I guess one that you do yourself, one that maybe we do together and one that magic right off the bat. What? No, these holiday magic, these cards, nobody does holiday magic in our house. That means like decorating the house, like birth control, mommy, mommy, who keeps track of, we do NFP. Okay. Who keeps track of when I'm ovulating and when I'm not mommy. Yes, it is. Middle of the night comfort. Uh. Cause if we're not trying. Why does it say magic? The middle of the night comfort. Because this is just the category. Who do they come to? Who do they come to? Every single time first. Because who sleeps by the door? And it scares me every single time. So that's my mention. Calvin sleeps by the door so that if someone breaks in, I don't die first. Yeah. And then I get scared immediately. That's sweet. Science sleep by the door. So if someone sleeps by the window, someone breaks in the window, then he dies, you, you decide every room we walk into every bed we sleep on, which side is yours and decide which seat is yours in every fucking restaurant. We go, I don't want to be the first one out the door. So Nick lives by the, the happy wife, happy life type of thing. This started because Brunson one time. Woke up and went over to Sarah's side and I just hear like, okay, that's scared the crap out of me because he was scary. I was in a dead sleep and this little idiot just comes up and lightly touches my hand. It's a little stroke and I'm like, what the fuck was that? I thought it was a monster and it was just brown. So tell me he peed the bed. He'll give me like a kiss. But one time he kissed me on my lips. I was like, what just happened? And he's just like, Hey, here's Batman. I'm like, okay, thanks buddy. Go back to bed. It's one in the morning. All right bedtime routine kind of both. That's a bothy. Mm hmm. Okay, when I'm home Sarah, even what okay when I'm Okay, all right cleaning is neither There's no way self care, I don't know what that means I just put player to one in mine and one in yours I don't know. What is I'm not home. This is audio only podcast. This is saying, this isn't just because you are like work a very early shift. This is just saying like, you know, like in general, if we worked at the same time, who would be doing, you know, If we were, okay. Okay. What about on Sunday? Okay. On Sundays and the day that you are home, who does the morning shift still? Mommy. Who makes sure the kids have breakfast, even if daddy's awake? Mommy does. Yeah, right. Until I'm like, what's up? You want a cinnamon roll? And then Sarah goes, why'd you give him a Here's the thing. If my aunt had a pecker, she'd be my uncle. So we can't talk about ifs. All right. I'm saying when. I know. When mommy and daddy are both home. When. She could have both. I don't know. When mommy and daddy are both home. And I come in the kit in the living room and it's nine o'clock. We're calling that and I'm like, so do the kids eat breakfast yet?'cause they just asked me if they're hungry and he's like, no. Meals on the weekend is Vytas on Sunday. And then Saturday, I usually still feel like that's not fair. Yeah, that's not fair. That's five outta seven days is not fair. This is supposed to be kind of like a Okay, just a meals on the weekend. We're having an argument. Realism. That's FY Arta Sunday. Okay. Shout out. Well, who, who do they come to when they ask for a meal? Because it's prop propaganda video's working. See? Where do they come to? It is working. I feel like you're holding general human conditioning against your husband right now. They come to me because Sarah's like, you're eating your vegetables even if they're five days old. And I'm like, dude, pasta. Here's plain noodle pasta. How dope is that food? Great. Block of cheese. Sorry, I want my kids to be healthy, functioning adults. School form. I'm not home when most of that needs to be done. I agree. Kids unpack, Gus has his own now. Do any of these cards say Packing and unpacking. Okay, packing, you. I'm teaching the kids also how to do that. I'm teaching the kids how to do it. So the more that you're taught the kids how to unpack their backpacks. This is also neither. So the more that we're seeing, I'm seeing this, the cards, they should have like, uh, a dad at work cards. That's my whole point with this game. Cause I was like, this is going to be all shit that gets done at home. Turn it into the motor. I'd be like me today. Yeah, exactly. There's not going to be any cards that say, Made the money that paid the power bill. I wish that Kalissa was here because I think this is more fitting to our lifestyle And that she is a full time working person who? From what she says, I haven't talked to Craig so I don't know but from what she says carries most of this Weight all this I don't know. So weekday breakfast. I'm not even Daddy doesn't even eat breakfast. Yeah, I don't like yeah Homework, project school supplies, that's, potty training, grooming kids, you're supposed to do that? I thought that was cancelled. This is like, Calvin's given the kids a bath twice in his lifetime. It's like ISIS water torture, I'm like, get in there and I shoot them down with the water. It's not good. And now they specifically ask for me to do it. Can mom do it instead? I said no. But like, to be fair, like, Your kids get used to something five days a week. You can't hold it against them. I know, I don't, but it's, it's a little person. They just know, Hey, I'm hungry. I go, it's the frustrating thing for me when I come out and this is very specific to just us when I come out and it's nine o'clock on a Saturday. And the kids immediately asked me when's breakfast. What's for breakfast. And I'm like, you've been awake with dad for the last three and a half hours. What do you mean? Where's breakfast? Why didn't dad feed you breakfast three and a half hours ago when you woke up? Because like we are all just like hanging out watching the movie But also Gus gets done eating he's like I'm so kind of hungry Like Jesus or something is like yeah, dude, and then Calvin feeds him the the breakfast Fucking nastiest snacks in the world. Like what? Like Cheez Its, bro. So good. Cheez Its, like, they're delicious. They're not real. They're just not real. I'm like, get a fucking carrot stick, okay? Gross. Eat a cheese stick. At least that's kind of cheese. Yeah, you'd have to eat a vegetable in order to eat a vegetable. I'm not doing that. I've seen my six hundred pound life. I know my limits. I know where I can get. You just bothered me in all aspects of life. Yeah. No, I don't like to be curious to see Calissa's, uh, interpretation. But like, cause like, seriously, all of these, it's just like all straight household shit. If you have one stay at home parent. It's not even a funny man this summer. I messaged Kalissa earlier and I said, you know, what is Craig available? And she said, hopefully this summer that after things slow down with the farm that he's at, like, he'll be available to hopefully go through some of this stuff and then hopefully film an episode maybe that he wants to do too. So yeah, this is something that we can do with him in the future, but it just worked out that we didn't film an episode. No, you guys are not allowed to be alone on this podcast. Because I don't trust you. Yeah, we're gonna start our own. I don't trust you. Coin stars. Calvin, listen. Now everyone knows. We just had an argument about this. Calvin and his big boy funny head, he just thinks he's so funny and this is why I don't trust you to do it. Okay. Speak for yourself. What do some of these cards even mean? Magic. Like what? Magic, extended family. What the fuck does that mean? So, the magic of your extended family, spending time with each other. I don't know, how does one, how does one acquire the responsibility of magical extended family? It looks like holiday magic. Is the category that it's in. So what does extended family mean? So it'd be like, who's planning the visits to see your mom? Who's planning the visits to see her mom? Them. Who's planning the visits to see, like, Grady and Ethel? I've got the kids. My mom can make plans to come see me. Okay, the turntables have turned. Well, not everybody's like that. She wants to see them grandkids. She's coming here. Okay, them's the rules. I hope she's listening. I ain't planning shit. Calendar keeper. Who the fuck even has a calendar? Me. Put it on iPhone. Put it on iPhone. We have the calendar. I have a calendar for business. I don't have a calendar for none of that. I don't, these cards are just goofy. Magical beings, kids. Oh, Tooth Fairies, like Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus. Who takes care of that? We don't believe in that stuff in our house, so nobody in our house, but. Returns and store credits. Mommy. Amazon. I need shit off at Kohl's. It's usually stuff that That's not true, I guess. But who's the one doing that, mostly? Hosting. What does that mean? If you invite someone over, who cleans your house? Who says Who gets the meals done? Who's catering? There's not one card where it says, like, who paid for all the shit in the house? Because this is Well, I had money. This is all about the invisible tasks. This isn't about who goes to work. That's fine. Fucking wild to me. I'm sorry. Because that's why I, I think this is more suitable to a family, to Issa for sure, who has two working parents. Yeah, but which was the point. But that lady, yeah, they did that potentially. No, they're not. You see my point that this is just like propagate people to get a fucking for us. How do you, I don't think that it fully makes sense because we are homeless of the time, so think most of this. How is Dink wise clearly for people who dual income with a All the time? No, with a kid though. With a dog, dual income kid, how do you, where's a K come from? That's no dual income kid Without kids. I know. I'm saying, how do you say dual income kids? I don't know. Dick. Dual dual income. Dick. Dual income with kids. Dick. Yeah. All right. No, yeah. Dual income with kids Duke. Dilk. You want this dilk? Exactly. Exactly, exactly. Alright, what other talking points do we got? That's all I had written down. Hannah, what do you got? That's all I had written. They might end on this episode. Why? Are we getting cancelled already? No, the fair play and then start another one. Oh, so if that's cool with everybody way to go I am NOT going to ask for anyone to leave comments in our Instagram on this post Yeah, we'll probably turn the comments off and we might not even make a post for this one Okay, she made this card game and the documentary. Yeah, so the whole documentary is just to sell this card game That's what I'm saying. I don't have market share. Oh my goodness. I make videos to sell t shirts. The documentary was basically her explaining why she made the card game. Have you seen that martial arts movie about the taekwondo gym? That goes around jumping people so they sign up for taekwondo. I'm doing that with jiu jitsu. That's how I'm going to start marketing. I'm like, hey, if you would have just known how to choke somebody. Then I'm going to shoot Calvin to start my own gun company. All right. And on that note, this has been Sarah. Hi, I'm Nick. This is also Nick. All right. Calvin. Goodbye.