64: Daycare Drama! Nannys, Babysitters, Summer programs, Foster Care, and Adoption!

Transcript

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Hello, this is Hannah and Calissa and Sarah and um, we're just gonna talk about like something local that's happening Yeah, so if you're not local you don't care Back to the script Sarah! Not like you don't you I'm just saying you don't have to stick around if you don't want to that's cool I stick around because I'm nosy We're gonna talk about a good gossip sash Yes, some daycare drama. Yes. So there's a daycare here in town and they abruptly are closing this Friday Like in a center Yes, is it a state center though? I forget. I think they have to be. It's in home, but is it? No. Yeah, Angel is, isn't it? No, I don't think so. Oh, I was thinking it was. They have a facility. Oh, so it has to be more of a center. Okay, I'm thinking of something else, but um, yep, they are closing this Valentine's Day and They didn't let their staff know that they were closing this early. They didn't let parents know. So now all these Facebook. They're like, hey I still have to work. I need someone to watch my kids and people are like, what is going on? And so now all these poster of all these people they're like, oh, yeah, I can watch your kids. I'll watch your kids Oh, yeah, I've worked, you know, I've worked with children before I can do that. And then other people are like really? Do your research, people. Like, ask for references. Ask, um, if there's CPR, criminal background checks and everything. Because a lot of people, they're just like, yeah, just watch my kid. Like, some people are just like, yeah, you look good. And then they'll just hand him off. And then people are like, a little bit more like, tell me everything about yourself. Yeah. Can I call your jobs? Your past, previous job, you know, all that stuff. So then I'm just like, I can't imagine being in a situation like that. Like if I had to work to like pay for childcare and to keep my house afloat or bills afloat. And I can't imagine they just be like, yep, we're closing in like three days. So we didn't give you a month, two months notice. Crazy. It takes people like sometimes their whole amount of pregnancy to be able to find a daycare. Yeah. It um, or longer. Yes. I mean, when Craig and I, if they're on a waiting list, went through a long, like about two month chunk where we were like, do we wanna have a fourth kid, do we not? Mm-hmm And we asked around a daycares if they would have daycare available in fall of 2026. Mm-hmm Oh my gosh. And they were all booked. Mm-hmm Within reasonable distance of our house. Mm-hmm And, or she's like, well, I've got two other families that are thinking about expecting around that time. And I've got, you know, it's just not going to work. Right. So before we even thought about getting pregnant, we tried and nothing. Yeah. So my sister talks about that sometimes because they're teachers. So like every once in a while they'll have. Um, like things that are connected to a school or whatever, and that's fine. But other, other times like they feel like, well, I don't know what to do. Like we're out of daycare today. Like I have to go to work still, but like our kids aren't in daycare. Like they're, you know, so yeah, it's tough. When you get pregnant, you let your parents know and you call a daycare. Yeah. Because if you're planning on going back to work, absolutely. Yeah. And I thought I was. And then, so when Nick and I, we know we were just, He was an electrician. I was a hairstylist. We looked into a daycare that I'm like, oh, they seem reputable and good. And then they told us the price and we're just kind of like nodding our head like, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm. And then we got in the car and I'm like, my works paycheck. Literally won't even pay for this daycare. Mm hmm. Yeah, and I'm like damn because they're like, oh, yeah all be like it was like a dream daycare Yep, all the kids wear a sleep sock, you know, the owl, owl owl, yeah And you know that we do this this this they make sure we get this and that like it just sounded like Awesome. Yeah, but then the price I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, you pay for quality That's why I ended up staying home because my whole entire paycheck would have gone to paying for daycare It's like why am I paying my whole paycheck? To go to, for my kids to go to daycare when we could also just not have that paycheck and I stay home. In the summer we drive the boys to, we drive them about 25 minutes away, which is the closest facility that would have room for the boys, all three of them during the summer. Drive them about 25 minutes one way. We pay a hundred and five dollars a day. And then we have to drive down there, pick them up, drive back, pick them up. So it's Crazy trying to find daycare in the summer as well for the school aged kids. Mm hmm Well, and it's does it do you like a parks and rec that has like a summer program for kids? Yes, the day and I take some to that Okay, cuz I feel like that's kind of nice to have like school aged kids because you know, I think they start at five for six years old and then they can do the summer program. Mm-hmm And they do a bunch of fun stuff with them. Mm-hmm Yes. So I'm like, well that's kind of fun. Those only last like two to three weeks at a time. Like where I'm from though. So it's like you and Yeah. It depends on the community for sure. Yeah. Mm-hmm Mm-hmm But I need to look into some of those for the summer.'cause I need to get my kids out. Yeah. I know there's like some day, um, like Bible camps and stuff too that some people rely on for that kind of stuff, but Yeah. Wowzer. Yeah. Mm-hmm Did you do it? Did you guys do any summer programs or Bible camps or anything like that? My kids are too young. I know as years yourself. Oh, yeah Yeah. So I grew up in an in home childcare. Yes. Um, I was a center daycare. Yes. My mom did childcare in our house from the time I was kindergarten until I was in eighth grade. Wow. Wow. Long time. So I'm very familiar. My mom taught childcare classes, how to get state registered, all of the things. So I'm very familiar with how the daycare in home daycare system works, how it should look like that. Yes. So what was your mom's routine then? When did she start? It depended on the day. For a while, I can remember her starting at like 530 in the morning and going until about 530 at night. Oh my gosh. Um, there was one summer she fed 19 mouths, including all of us kids and my dad, for lunch every day. Holy moly. Because us kids were counted as helpers. Could be counted as helpers. Once you're at a certain age. Right. So. My older sisters were helpers. So that increased the number of kids that she could have. So yeah, legally she had 19 mouths to feed every day for lunch. Oh my goodness. There was a lady that lived like kind of across the street from us that did in home, but my whole childhood. And we would always like ride the bus with a bunch of kids that she was. Yeah. Watching in daycare. Yeah, and then I babysat like crazy. I was pretty much a nanny for two families in the summer and I would pretty much get done with one babysitting job and go to the next babysitting job. Um, so I'm familiar with What did they expect you to do? Um, one was really good. The one that I watched during the day. Um, so the kids were old enough to be at home kind of by themselves. Okay. So one was in like sixth grade and the other was in like third grade. And so I could come when I wanted to come, take them where they needed to go. Um, you serve them lunch, hang out a little bit afterwards, and then I could leave. That's how my sisters was at that, around that time, like high school. Yes. Um, which is kind of what we're transitioning into with our kids, which they're a little young for it, but, um, I'll be upstairs napping and they can be downstairs by themselves while I nap and Anders naps. So, um, I don't know if that's right or wrong or otherwise, it's just what's working for our family right now. Um, so yeah, it was, it's been pretty crazy. I Struggle with childcare and we don't have childcare on Wednesdays because Wednesdays are the days that preschool is off So we have a nanny come in on Wednesdays and watch Anders She's our regular Nanny that we have all the other days, too So, um these parents that are trying to find child care and like trying to find like there's a lot of people wanting nannies babysitters working, you know I don't know, the shifts, but, um, what do you look for in a nanny? Like, when you're interviewing, interviewing someone, someone totally new. You don't know them, you don't know their family, nothing. I don't know if I would do it if I didn't know them. Really? Like I know of them or they've been like referenced or I've made posts on Facebook before that are like, hey we're looking for a new high school help to help with our kids or whatever and usually someone refers somebody. You know what I mean? It's very rare. You have that, like the small town. I feel like that's different too because you're in such a small area. Yes. Everybody relies on each other to utilize. But like not not necessarily even here but like bigger cities like Minneapolis or Des Moines or something like how then yeah I know they have a lot more options for centers and stuff. Oh, yes, like if you're looking for someone like a more nanny style, yeah, then like Like good luck. I don't know. How do you know people that I don't know cuz I always just um, you know Cuz we have like two girls that I have Either this girl or this girl whoever is available and we always choose The other girl first, because she is not a high schooler, so her schedule is a little bit more flexible and open. Um, but yeah, we just, a family had her, you know, they used her a lot in babysitting, and they were like, Oh yeah, you should get her. So that's how we found her. And then, when she wasn't available, I went onto a mom's Facebook page here, and I was like, Any babysitters? And, A couple, Oh, my daughter's in high school, she can do it. And I'd kind of like look at them and like ask them like, okay, how long have you been doing? Or what, what's your experience? Oh, I worked at this daycare for a while. I still work there part time and I'm like, okay, so she works in a center, should be good. Right. Well, you know that if they work at a center that they've had background checks, they've had fingerprinting and things like that. And they legally require then for them to be like CPR trained and all that kind of stuff. Right. Okay. Cool. Yeah. So I was like, okay, we'll try you out Yeah. Here's a thought. We're going on vacation next week. Mm-hmm Have you guys heard of the vacation? Babysitters? Um, I heard the, about this. I think, were we talking about it when people went to Disney? They were hiring people to stay with, like babies or something? I don't think they were talking about it. Okay. I must have heard this on TikTok maybe then. Mm-hmm But yeah, it's like you hire someone basically to like hang out with your kids while you. Vacation. Yeah. Go do adult things. Yeah. So we've considered it, and we're looking into it, but there's a lot of, I've asked about like, there's a Facebook group called Things to Do in Fort Lauderdale or whatever, and I've asked about like, where to find a babysitter, and there's a bunch of people in the comments like, oh, I can watch them, I can watch them, I can watch them, it's like, no, that's not what I, like, Care. com, or there's um, there's um, Care. com was nice, I used that for a, for a while, with Cutter. Yeah. Yeah, and that was good for you? Yeah, good. Because, um, you have to pay for the subscription, and so I'm like, okay, they have to pay, so they have to be registered. Yep, registered, and then, yeah, they have criminal backgrounds and everything with CARE. Yeah, so, I might look into that. Would you guys ever do that? Consider that on a vacation? I think so. Yeah, depending on what it was for. Yeah. Yeah. Um, especially if you go to a resort, I know resorts are now starting to like do that now. Like, Oh, we have like a daycare for like your kids. So you and your husband, whatever can go out and do stuff when we can watch. I've heard a couple people doing that. So we're doing a resort pass. You should see if they have that. Yes. At this resort that you're Yes. Yeah. So we're just down the street from Margaritaville. Jimmy Buffett's. Margaritaville, Love that for you. So we're gonna go there for the day. Yeah. Nice. It'd be really nice if they did have some kind of kids programming. Mm-hmm We could use that for the day. That'd be super fun. Yeah, that would be nice. Because I always think about that. And then I always have my mother a lot. I'll just go with you. I'm like, I know it's nice. But then she also wants to do something too. Mm-hmm So then I'm like, defeats the purpose a little bit. Yeah. So it would be nice to have like a stranger to kinda be like, I don't. Have to feel bad. Not a stranger, but like, yeah. Yeah, someone strange. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. But like, yeah Sorry, but I wouldn't feel bad like oh, I want you to have fun too when I'm like, no I'm paying you. It's not someone you're inviting on the trip. It's someone who's there to do a very specific job. That's not like part of your, yeah, plans. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I would, yeah, look into it. Yeah, I would too. Care was nice because they just pick out from the locations. S kind of going on what you were saying, I've had this question written down for a really long time, and it's what age do we feel is appropriate to start leaving kids, whether it be like them in the car by themselves when you like run into the grocery store or, I know that a lot of people say don't do that at all, ever. I, yeah. Um. I think car seat. When you leave at home. No, no car seat manuals because I would read them and they're like, do not leave your kid in the car longer than like two minutes I'm thinking and I'm like, what? Well that, when they're really young, that has to do with like suffocation risks. Oh. Um, but I'm just curious what your guys feelings are because Gus is getting to the age, he's eight. He's getting to the age now where he's asking to stay home by himself. And I'm like, listen, you're not a very responsible, so I'm going to say no. But when he's 10, 11, 12, like what's the age that is deemed appropriate now? I would say 10 or 11. 10, 11. I have an eight, almost nine year old now and eight and a half, I guess. And I think if they had a cell phone, That would feel much better. Um, they don't, uh, and they have cell phones for like family. Like literally it just calls your mom or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. Like your home phone. Um, cause we used to have home phones all the time. That was, that was fine. That was a good safety, whatever. I was left alone at a very young age. Cause our dad was dead. So we're like, what else do we do? Right. Um, but I can remember they'd be out, cause we grew up on a dairy farm, so I was left alone. So we sold the cattle when I was in kindergarten, and I can remember being left alone at home younger than that because everybody was out doing chores. And I could either go out and do chores with them, but that also poses its own risk of being a child on a farm. That's very dangerous. So, um. Yeah. Yep. My parents were home, but they weren't. Yes, they were, but they weren't, they were in the field, or they were, they were doing chores, the pigs or whatever. And so I'm just, I don't know how old I was, but I, and you were the oldest too? Mm-hmm So like, that's even, you know, you maybe would have more responsibility later as your brothers. Yeah. Came along and everything. Yeah. But I, yeah, I was by myself and mm-hmm Started to fire in the microwave, just turned the microwave off and then never touched it again. Oh my gosh. Well, because we got chicken, uh, fried chicken. And it was still in the takeout box. Oh no. And it had that film. Oh gosh. Yep. I'm just like, I'm hungry for chicken. Oh jeesh. But that's how you learn. Yeah. How old were you guys when you started cooking for yourselves? Oh young. I can remember making ramen noodles for as long as I can remember. Oh gosh. I don't know that I did before. My dad died, I guess. I don't really remember. I just always said cereal. I didn't like, I didn't do oven or anything. Stove top, no. We did a lot of microwave stuff, yeah, by the time. Microwaves and cereal. I lived on cereal. I don't think we ever ate a lot of cereal, but we did do a lot of microwave stuff. Like, oh my gosh, those pastaroni boxes. Do you guys ever, you didn't eat those? Oh my gosh, those are the best. Pasta primavera, delish. Catherine wouldn't know what I'm talking about. Also, microwave burritos. Where it's like a tortilla and then like craft singles. There's like two or three of those cheeses in there and you just microwave it for like 15 seconds until it's like warm and melty and gooey. We call those cheesy wheezes. Oh, so you take just a tortilla and you put a bunch of cheese on it and you microwave it for 40 seconds. And my kids love cheesy wheezes. So good. I would probably not eat it now. No, I would, I would eat it for nostalgia purposes probably, but. Yeah, I don't know. I was curious. Cause I was like, man, Gus really wants to stay home. I leave the kids at home. Like I said, they're downstairs while I nap. So kind of one of those things I'm home, you can come wake me up, but I'm sleeping kind of like they're out doing chores. You can come get us if you need us, but they're gone. Um, and I always joke that kids are just going to have to join an emotional support group for parents who work night shift because regular people are like that too. Cause Like Calvin was never around and sometimes I would get migraines and I would just have to go Like that's the only way I could get rid of it was to go see. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you do? Like we still have to be humans and live lives. So yeah, I don't know Yeah, not condoning like leaving your kids alone when they're like a year old or whatever, you know, but I have very low You're like, I would never leave my kid in the car. I leave my kid in the car all the time. Yeah, but you also live in a small area. I do, yeah. So, you know, people naturally look out for people that they know. Yes. And so, if you're around people that you know. So, like, I've ran into the pharmacy, I've ran into the grocery store. Like, not a full grocery shopping trip, obviously, but like, if I need milk or something, I can run into the gas station or whatever. Um, but yeah, I leave, I turn on the DVD player. Mm hmm. Kind of use that. What do you do if a stranger comes, knocks on the window? You know what I mean? Yeah. Can you talk through that stuff? Yep. I'm just teaching, um, They, he knows 9 1 1, but on the phone, I don't think he could physically. It's just 9 1 1. Yeah. But I'm always kind of curious, because when I talk about stranger danger and I kind of want to not hire, because They, our kids know our friends. So it'd have to be like someone. Just put Calvin in a ski mask. Maybe and like have them play at the park and I just kind of step away a little bit and then have someone just like Hey little boy, or whatever. Oh gosh. I know we I do this I play this game with them. Like I pretend I'm this old person and I'm like, hey little boy. Come here Do you want a candy bar? Um, my kids, I totally freaked them out, cause they were like, ahhh. Yeah, but that, I mean like crying is better than, I mean like, yeah. Yeah. Or like, I'll be like, I'll be like another woman. I'll be like, hey, do you guys want to see my puppy in my car? And my boy's just gonna like. Uh, no. Leave me, like, I'm playing all the scenarios. Old person, young person, woman. So, I'm like, everyone, just keep your eyes out for everyone. It doesn't matter. That's what it's come to now. So, I, but Stranger Danger, I'm always like, I just want to see, like, in real life, what would happen. Yeah. Before all the snow came it was getting nice out. So I would take the boys to the park. Mm hmm And then, you know, I'm just like always looking over my shoulder. I'm like, I can't even enjoy the park. No Yeah, it's like almost more mental stress to take them places Yes, and to just stay home and then so when one would run off I'd be like Cut her! And then, I'm right here! And I'm like, yell your name every five minutes. Yeah. I know that you're there. Yeah. And I'm like, it's, it used to be fun. I think it's really different in a big city. Mm hmm. True. A big city like Mesa, you know what I mean? But like, I don't. But it's big compared to where you are. Yeah, I don't worry about that at all. I, I'll, I've never worried about if my kids were gonna get taken at the park, or if they were gonna. Go missing or anything like that. I think I'm first of all very very naive. Yeah, but that yeah, I think what my mother ruined me because what was that case those two missing girls and Waterloo Oh Lyric and was that their their thing on Netflix the dad Yes. I had a thing on Netflix or whatever. Um, yeah, documentary. But like, that was so close to our hometown, and like my mom, she just like, Like, it just consumed her entire life, and then it just instilled that fear on me for some reason, and I just We watched way too much Law and Order growing up, so like, way too much. I would never let my kids watch Law and Order. But honestly, like that instilled its own, like I feel, I don't ever remember having those conversations with my mom, but those are things that I know. Yeah, you watch it because of the show and you're like, oh don't do that, right? Did my mom teach us those things? Maybe I don't remember those conversations, but we watched that show enough Yeah that I know like You don't go somewhere with people that you don't know you don't do this Like it makes me weary of people on order as an adult and dateline But like, you know, I just sit down and watch a segment and I'm like, okay, don't do that. Yeah, we've talked about like Party stages from us like as teenagers. I never did that because I always knew like if you're at a party and someone spikes your drink Like you get raped and murdered like, you know, so don't go to parties. There you go. Done avoiding that like Wasn't cool enough But like even still like even if I was like I would have been very careful or it would not drink at all or like You know, I went to a party and it was kind of crazy because it was kids of like all clicks and just Willy nilly just whatever and I'm like wow like literally anything could happen. Yeah I remember hearing stories of parties in high school and people like just being like dropped out of a car On the side of the road somewhere drunk like passed out. Everyone just was They were just in their own bubble, didn't pay attention, and I just look at, I've always looked out at a scene, like, Sorry, I'm making so much noise today. It's okay. I'm like blowing my nose, I'm chewing my ice, I put ice in my mouth, and I'm like, you can't chew ice on the microphone, so I'm just like, It's okay. It's okay. Quiet crunching. I had a big sniff last episode. Well, I'm trying to avoid that. Yeah. You just need to put a little tissue ball up your arseholes. Yeah. Just do it. I got some tampons. Oh, hilarious. But yeah, I mean. But I've always just, I've always just wanted to scan the room. Always. Not even looking over my shoulders, I just want to scan the room. Look at everyone. So if something did happen, I could go to the police and put a description like, yep, they were 5'7, brown hair, brown eyes. Yes, I'll sit down with the sketch artist. I can always tell like when I feel safe because looking back I'll realize like, oh, I don't really remember what these people looked like where we were or like, you know Like when I'm with Calvin, I feel a lot more safe, obviously, so I don't pay as close of attention to those things But when it's just me and the boys Like I'm looking at every single person's face that we saw such a realistic tech talk. And it was a mom with her two kids by herself. And the background noise was just background noise, like anxiety talking all over and it's like what it's like shopping by myself with two, my kids, like all this chitter and anxiety. And then when it's with her husband, just a peaceful, serene music. And I'm like, yes. When we're even walking through the grocery store. Oh, I would doubt it. Well, maybe Calvin does something like that. No, I think Nick would, yeah. Nick's different though, doesn't he have anxiety too? Huh? Doesn't he have anxiety too? Yes. So it's a little bit. But that's if something happens. Yeah. If we need to go to the hospital. Yeah. His anxiety spikes. His aura ring just spikes. It lets him know like, hey, you were really stressed out. That's funny. Yeah, I don't know. But even like walking through the grocery store and If we're in a busy area and I lead and my kids are behind me, I'm walking like half turned around because I'm trying to watch where my kids are behind me and look ahead of me to like, see where I'm going. Like I, you know, it's just, it's stressful. It is stressful. Yes. That's why sometimes it's really nice to just like go to the store by myself. It's so quiet. It's so peaceful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was a case. Um, two years ago, three years ago, um, where a child was left in their sleeping in their car seat. And that was like a big no, no at daycare. Like you're never like if a child comes in, they're asleep in their car seat at daycare at daycare. Yes. Yup. Oh, like the daycare left them to sleep in their car seat with only the top buckle on. So the child slipped down and then was strangled by the top buckle of the car seat and passed away. And they're still pending court charges, that's sad. Yeah, but here's the thing. It was like an 18 month old. Oh It wasn't even like a baby baby. You would think that the baby would have woken up But I guess I don't I don't recall like what the age is that they have those natural reflexes. Yeah Like the gasp reflex and stuff like that. Yeah But so when you start talking about daycares, that case came to my mind. We have multiple cases in our surrounding areas that deal with abuse. Mm hmm Abuse. Yeah, like there was at least one I know of that was sexual abuse and then there was a couple that were like physical it's always abuse from my Um, not experience, but from what I've read on articles, it's almost always like not the female childcare provider. It's the male that like the husband or the boyfriend or the whatever that's in the house with the children as well. The sexual abuse case around here I know was a woman, was a woman. Yeah. I don't recall for the, um, the other. One, one or two, I forget that it was that were, that I was thinking of specifically about. So, Sarah, I don't know if you heard about, uh, so there's a facility here in Mason. It's not a daycare, but it's where kids go who are troubled and, um, there was an article because a worker was saying there is so much going on. We are understaffed. The staff is treating these kids horribly, um, and they're. I think, uh, they're being looked at or being sued or something, but like, and um, I was reading the articles and I'm like, how? And they're like, this has been going on for years. Oh yeah. Flying under the radar. No one knows. And it's like, it's scary because this is supposed to be a safe place for kids who don't have a family member or like. They have their troubled children. Troubled. So I worked not at this facility, but a parallel, I guess, facility. So we would have those kids in a separate setting. The troubled ones? And, um, We heard even then some, some things. And this was, you know, eight or nine years ago that I worked at this place. But, it's hard because, um, And this is, again, not to say that you wouldn't believe them, but these are kids who come from similar issues in their home lives. And that's what this article was saying, like, oh, she's just faking it. Sometimes, as children, they're unable to, um, like, understand the differences in putting boundaries in place and, like, real situations, real danger. Um, and so, I don't know. I don't know. Um, I think it should absolutely be investigated just because of the nature of it, obviously, and it's children and they need advocates because they're children. Um, cause it kind of falls along with like the daycare. Yeah. It's very, it's very difficult. Daycare's abuse. And then there's, uh, what would you even call it? Like. Dependent, dependent abuse. I don't know. It would be children, dependent children abuse instead of like a dependent adult. Whenever anyone is dependent on someone else, it's a scary situation. Because there's always opportunities for, I don't know, abuse or negligence or neglect. Yeah, for sure negligence. Yeah. Because in the article it stated that this worker, he'd want to call the cops. Are you talking specifically about this article that came about because of these posts that were on Facebook? Um. Because that's where I first saw about it, recently at least. Yeah, he made a post. Mm hmm. And people were like, no, you don't know what you're talking about. And then now this article came out. Yeah. Well, and on both sides of that, there are people who've worked there or gone there who had really great experiences. And there are people on the flip side who have said, I worked here or I went here. I know someone who went here and had terrible experiences and were abused and everything. So yeah. Yeah. So tough. Yeah. I don't remember. I applied, but I think she just kind of looked, you know, because I was just a young, umpy, like, oh yeah, like I can, I thought they were like, you know, just toddlers and I think she looked at me as weak. I don't think so. And I never got a call back and I'm like, okay. Yeah, you gotta have thick skin to do that, that kind of stuff. Yeah, and I think I apparently didn't show that I was. We get a lot of kids in the ER. Around that 12, 13 ish year old age that end up needing psychiatric placement. That's really difficult to get. And it's usually across the state. You know, they'll go to Council Bluffs. They'll go apply. There are only certain facilities that are available for this level of care. Yes. Um, snow plow outside or something. I emailed them. I was gonna say, your um, plow guy is Shorten his duties a little bit, so is Calvin by the way, so don't go back. I texted him this morning. I was like, are you gonna shovel the driveway soon? Cuz I've got like three inches of snow in my shoes. Oh, yeah, I'll have the Maybe post this article because it's out in the public. So like anyone can read it. It's public. Yeah. Yeah, but it is sad. It is because like I never think of these kids You know, I don't it's always daycare. They're sort of like fringe society I hate to say it like that way, but they're sort of fringe people right now because they are not like Necessarily integrated as much into our like regular society as just daycare children who go home So it's a little different that could be yeah Yeah, different. I figured because I was a parent, so I'm like, okay, like daycare. Yeah. They're very similar. Yeah. It's dependent children in a facility. So yeah. Ever considered being foster parents or adopting? No, no adopting. We've considered fostering. No, I don't think I could do it. Yeah. Well, we thought about having a foreign exchange student. Oh, interesting. Like teenager preschool. Yeah. Cause uh, I don't know how we got, cause Nick and I, we were just newly married. Well, that's why we, I said, I was like, okay, maybe it's too much for us. That's why I got, I got cold feet. Right. Yeah. Um, but you could talk to someone and then they would say, what ages do you prefer? And Nick and I were like, Oh, maybe like middle school. And then, um, if you want an athlete or, I mean, you have to, yeah. So I'm like, yeah, let's, let's do an athlete. That'd be fun.'cause Nick and I, we were both working out at the, the time and, uh, so there was a, a boy from, I think it was Brazil. Wow, cool. Yep. He wrote a letter and everything. Like, I'm super excited if you choose me. I've never been to the states before. Um, I play soccer. I love soccer. It's my whole life. I'm so curious to see. Um, how you guys live your life in the U. S. And I'm like, this little boy sounds so sweet. And then I started feeling like, I've got nothing interesting to show him. And I told my mom, she's like, you could bring him out to the farm. And I'm like, yeah, but that's only cool for like, a day. Like, I can only show him. And she was like, well, you could take him to the monuments. You could take him to this. And I'm like, maybe, maybe, maybe. And then I just got cold feet. And I'm like, okay. You know, how long was the program supposed to be? I think a whole year. Wow. Mm-hmm You'd have'em for the whole school year. Wow. Yeah. So would you ever send your middle schooler away for long? Exactly. But my sister-in-law though, they hosted a foreign exchange student and years ago now,'cause my nephew's almost 21. He is 21 as of yesterday. And this was when he was like 12. Right. So this was 10 years ago. But they, they've kept in contact and they just went to her wedding. This past year. So, you know, form lifelong friendships with some of these people. So I think maybe we'd do it if the kids were a little older. Someone in their own grade who they could like experience. Absolutely. Yep. One of my best friends my senior year was a foreign exchange student from Denmark. Oh, yeah. We had a number of foreign exchange students. Yeah, you should send this to him. Were you, uh, um, high school then? Yep. Okay, because, uh, we, high school. Was a lot of the foreign exchange students. Yes, it's true. And like all of us were so excited like are they hot, you know? Oh my gosh, France was pretty dreamy. Oh, I won't say. Denmark, yeah. Yeah, we had a kid from France and he was pretty good looking but I think like his grades were slipping. Oh no. So then they're like, hey, if you have to be in this program, your grades have to be like up to here so they have to ship him back to France. We have German students, I think, my, so Freshman year, Germany's were really popular. Mm-hmm For students. Yeah. We had a lot of German too. Yeah. When I went to Germany and I was basically foreign exchange, like our host family picked us or whatever, we had to write letters for the same thing. Yeah. And so yeah, it was really cool just seeing that. But I'm like, maybe when we're a little older and Yeah. We'll do it again. We'll try again. Yeah. That'll be cool. Yeah. Yeah, but fostering, I don't think I'm well equipped to foster. Our house isn't big enough. They'd have to share a room, and that's like a big no no in foster care. They have to have their own room, their own space, and we just don't have it. Yeah, us either. We don't have the space that we need for our own kids right now, because of our dogs. So, they have to share a room. I didn't know you have dogs. Yeah, we have two dogs. I thought you were allergic to dog fur. I am. She's got filters going like crazy in their house. When we got, our small dog's not that bad. Our Big dog. She's a St. Bernard. She is, she's very difficult. And to some degree you become like accustomed to your own dog. So it's not as bad as it is with Mushu. Um, but I'm very careful. Like whenever I pet her, I make sure I go wash my hands right away. And like I'm generally make Calvin vacuum so that I'm not like breathing in that. Um, and like, she's not allowed in the living room or in our bedrooms where there's carpet because she gets hair on the couch and And so she has her own room that she like sleeps in so that's our third bedroom right now. Okay, so yeah I'm just kind of scared with fostering because you don't know what the situation they're coming exactly. I had a friend her Grandparents fostered for a long time When she yeah forever and when her mom This girl that I'm talking about. When her mom was pregnant with her, um, they had this bouncy little four year old boy who was just, you know, living life. And then every time they saw, or he saw, her mom pregnant, he would just like stop and just stare, and like, was just kind of weird. And like, the mom was kind of like, what's up with this boy? Why is he always just kind of creeping me out? And the grandparents are like, what are you talking about? And she's like, uh, he just kind of looks at me weird. And, you know, the parent, the grandparents were like, oh, he's fine. But, like, every time she came around with her big pregnant belly, he just, like, would just follow her and just stare at her. And then the grandparents were like, well, okay, now we see it. So I think they called the place and were like, hey, um, you know, he's great. Looked up at the background. Yeah. And they were like, okay, so, he came from an abusive, oof, abusive, oof. parents. And then um, the mom was pregnant and gave birth to his baby sister on their kitchen table as the dad was trying to like help with the situation and like seeing a pregnant, I mean pregnancy is scary, but like you've got blood, you've got stuff coming out of them, and this little boy was just there in the kitchen watching his mom give birth to his baby sister. So I think he was just kind of like nervous. He was probably like, yeah. And then when he sees a pregnant woman, he's just like, Oh, I saw what happened down there. I'm like, Oh, that's so sad. And then, yeah, her grandparents. they've have wild stories of like children that get taken in, what they've seen and everything. And I'm like, that's crazy. Yeah. But they just dedicated their whole lives to like helping these people who can handle that are so wonderful. So wonderful. I know that I'm not mentally equipped to be able to handle that. We've thought about doing respite foster care. Oh wow. You provide foster care for families who have a foster kid. So say like, they want to go on vacation, they just want to do just their family or something, but they have a foster child, the foster child would come and stay. And get their own vacation. Yes, it's like foster care for your foster child. Mm hmm. It's a little sad. Or like, time by themselves, because I mean, that's still important as a family to, you know. Yeah, yeah. But, or say they're going out of town or something like that. Mm hmm. Cause I think there are rules too with foster care. I don't know. Some kids can't truck off state lines, right? Yeah. So there are rules that go with that. So, you know, it's not just, it's not just like we don't want a selfish. That sounds bad. I don't, I don't mean it to be like selfish, but. Okay. Okay. Okay. That makes sense. So yeah. Yep. They come. Yeah, I mean I talked to a lady who I think was in CPS or DHS or something and she said yep All the babies get taken all the toddlers, you know, everybody wants babies and toddlers and I'm like sure, you know, they're easy They don't come with baggage and she's like, but these teen these teenagers really need the love and care and I saw tick tocks of this mom. She's like, I'm gonna foster a teenager for the first time I heard that I'm having a girl And she set up a bed really nice. She's like, I bought new bedding. She has baskets of like sanitary stuff. Yep. Everything. She's like, I bought her new clothes and everything. And the comments were so sweet because one girl was like, I was a teen foster and I absolutely would have loved this kind of care. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, they need to love too. Yeah. And then I talked to another lady. She worked at a juvenile's like prison or something. Like maybe just a juvenile facility facility could be the same facility. You're talking about her maybe Okay, and she it was mostly for boys Hmm, and she would she was like their mother had and she's like so many of them would be like, can you please adopt me? Yeah, please adopt me and she's like seriously these teenagers need love and then when we saw that Mark Wahlberg movie with Um, the girl from Bridesmaids. Kristen Wiig? No, no, the other one. Rose Brinn? I think that's the actress's name. But it was based on a true story of like fostering and the process of it. And Mark Wahlberg and his wife adopted, or fostered three siblings. A teenager, an 11 year old, and like a 6 year old. And they, the movie was expressing the troubles. The heartaches and the goals. Mm hmm. It's a good movie. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely think it's in my future at some point in time that we would foster or adopt. Wow. Yeah. Adopt. That's really nice. Potentially. We talked about adoption before we had kids. I've always wanted to foster. Really? But, um, not right now. Not with our kids so little. Yeah. Yeah. I know, I think like when you get to that like empty nest feeling, yes. I think that would be like a good time. I mean, when I'm 45, all my kids will be moved out. Mm-hmm So I mean that's, I've got plenty of time to Yeah. Take someone under my wing. Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't know, a teen would be sweet, you know, but then it's like 13 still. Yeah. Yeah. They got hormones, they got raised. I was a terrible teen, so I was just mouthy to my mom. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. I was just mean. I was mean to my dad. I don't know why. It's tough. It's hard on some stuff. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. I know. I get it. I could go back. I know. Yeah. What are you gonna do? Okay. So, I guess, uh, leave us a comment. If you would, if you thought about adoption. If you thought about fostering. Um, daycares. Yeah. What's your experiences with daycares? Anything, really. I don't know. Just leave us a comment about something. Yeah, we love to chat. Check out the stories every Friday ish. Or Saturday. Or Saturday ish, if you catch it on time. Yes, because I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try for my goal is to ask more poll questions so we can get people. Interaction. Yeah, interaction. Yes. I know I'm usually one of the first ones and it's like a hundred percent this because I'm the one that's answering. Yeah, my phone's always ding ding ding ding ding. I know I'm sorry like I turn my notifications off for like everything. So if anyone is address, addressing me specifically, like sometimes my mom will send messages to that page and then Hannah will have to tell me like, Hey, your mom messaged. So sorry. If you're ever like trying to address me specifically, but thanks for listening. Yeah. But thanks for listening. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Like us comment rate review. Did you, does your mom listen to the podcast? Yes. My mom does not listen to the podcast. What's your mom's name? Jo. Jo. Naughty Jo. Jo. She's going to be a guest on here someday. Jo. What does Jo want to talk about? Well, she's got a plethora of things to talk about. Is this like, backlog? Like, she's got things to say about previous episodes? No, I don't think she's ever listened to an episode. Oh. Jo. But she's, uh, she's not new to the internet. No, that's true. She's an internet sensation. So we could, you know, her whole life experience, everything. True. Yes. True. Yeah. Have fun. That'd be fun. Yeah, maybe to get all our moms on here one day. Yeah, I don't know if my mom would do it What's your mom's name? Sue. Sue. Come on, Sue Sue heck Yeah Maybe you've never seen her messages that she sends. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yep. Yep. Definitely have yep All right. Well, kalissa hannah and sarah Bye