85: Special Guest: Welcome Kalissa's Husband Craig! We Talk Financial Infidelity, Post Partum Blues, Marriage's Rough Patches, and more!

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Dun, dun Dun. This is Hannah. And Issa. And Sarah. And we have Craig. Yay. We have Issa's husband on. Finally. Finally made it finally. It's been a long time coming. Yep. We're, yeah. We've been talking about this for like literally since the beginning probably, I think. Yeah. Yeah. But we are filming on a Sunday. Mm-hmm. Which is, we don't do that. It's Craig's day. It's a farmer. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Working on the farmer. It's hard to get away from the farm. Hey, this shirt you bought at the, at the buckle. Mm-hmm. I think Nick has some. Looks cute. No we didn't. Nope. This is, uh, Owatonna. Oh, the Western store. Oh, yeah. It looks very similar to the one you bought at the buckle. Yeah. So now we know it's definitely Craig's style. It is. Okay, continue. Sorry that distracted me. He's a western guy. Love that for you. So. Try. Yeah, they're over there. Oh, yep. You didn't have, you didn't have to take your boots off, but whatever. It's carpet. You know I'm used to the hardwood floors and stuff. The F three remodel, so we gotta replace the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole thing. But welcome finally. Mm-hmm. How many episodes have you listened to? Dun, dun, dun at two. Okay. That's more than my husband. Yeah. Does he doesn't listen to the ones he's on. Um, he'll, he doesn. Just need to listen to himself again. He'll make, he'll listen to, I listen to our episodes. I do too. I do too. He's a man that's not man stuff. I don't know. So are you gonna listen to this episode? We'll see what you edit. Yeah. Your wife's the editor. See what you keep and what you throw away. And you have a significant northern accent right now. Is that just'cause you're nervous? Nervous. Yeah. Don't be nervous. Literally no one's here except us. We can take out whatever you don't want in there. Yeah. No worries. Alright, cool. Did you get new glasses? I did. Oh, I like'em. Thanks. I think they're too small for my big face, but that's okay. Well, it's different from,'cause you normally do big. I know. I like big glasses. Wearing glasses too. I am. Mm-hmm. Wear glass. Oh, you're not. I'm in contacts. Yeah. Yeah. Craig, do you wear glasses? I'm 2020. Oh, no you're not. You've been prescribed glasses. You just don't remember because I had like a little cross thing going on or whatever. You get a lazy eye. Is that astigmatism? Oh, there you go. Oh, astigmatism. Yeah, at night. It's rough. At night. You do drive at the night in the nighttime. Oh, I, I just tough through it and Oh, it's rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then also like the lights too. Yes. Lights are terrible at these new cars, aren't they? Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Yes. Alrightyy please. Saying that, well, you were on 30 crying and trying. Yep. How old are you? 31. Nice. Nice. You're in the club. Issa. Catch up. She's just made it. She's just followed along. Just made it, yeah. Yes, yes. So you're all the same age? Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. You guys are on the same today, by the way. Oh, this is cute. Thanks. Thank you. I thought it was jammies at first, but then I looked at you closely. That's Oh, I got it at, um, Ian Decora. Oh, I feel like you've told us this before at this place. Shout out. Shout out. They, they've reshared our podcast before. Shout out. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. We love that. That's so nice. It was really nice. She's like, you should check out, um, because the sweater, the green and tan checkered sweater Yes. That I got mm-hmm. That we did pictures in. She's like, Hey, the, she's wearing our, um, sweater in her pictures, so they reshared it. I love it. That's so nice. Yeah, she's very nice. Shout out Stephanie. Shout out. Love you. So, yeah. Nice. All righty. And so now Craig, um, we. For our listeners, me and Craig actually kind of grew up a little bit together. Yes. Till sixth grade. And I don't remember that. I don't remember sixth grade. Yeah. I think'cause like in middle it was middle school. Right? Yep. So we were traveling with our classes in rotation. So I don't think I ever saw you. Yeah. Probably got somewhere split along. Way garbled. Yeah. In there. Yeah. So I remember Craig from way back in the day. I think we were like in preschool together. Yep. And then first grade kindergarten and Yeah, I just, oh, I remembered you. And then I remember seeing Calissa growing up throughout my time or like as I'm growing up, I'm seeing Calissa every once in a while I'm seeing her brother Carl being mentioned. Um, so I That is weird. Yeah. That you've kind of just like seen both of us separately. Separately, yeah. At different times. And then when my friend Kelly was seeing Derek. Yep. And Derek's like, I have a really good friend, his name's Craig. I'm like, I know one Craig. And then I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah. It's a small world, ain't it? It is, yeah. It's a small world after. So then like Yep. Then, um, no, I think I added you on Facebook because Facebook was just starting to come out in 2008 and everybody's adding everybody. Yep. And I'm like, I remember this guy Craig. So we're all at, we're just all adding just old buddies and everything. Yeah. You probably got on there and found all your new Hampton friends. Oh, certainly. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It was wild.'cause like, I, I really, well I didn't have pen pals or anything, you know? Yeah, yeah. So, so you couldn't have kept up and you didn't have a cell phone? Nope, not until I was a senior. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I don't think I ever had a cell phone. Yeah. Dayton life was pretty hard. Yes. So, um, he was picking up all the girls at Mills Fleet Farm and face to face, you know? Yeah. Really? That's the way to go. Yeah. He would take him out to Applebee's. Are you being for real? Yeah. Applebee's. That's where you'd find your ladies Wednesdays. Half off appetizers. Yes. Oh, she knows all about the Applebee's stuff. Yeah. Well I didn't know about that till like later in life get off work. It's stumbling distance and just Oh yeah. What's going on? Was it here in Mason? Yeah. You were. Oh my gosh. But you were driving all the way over here to go to work. Well, I was in Rockford. That's where you went to high school. It's a long ways, right? 20 minutes. 20 minutes. It's 25 minutes. Yeah. That's bad. Stumbling distance. That's a long way. That's not bad. Actually. I don't wanna drive across town. Well, I mean from Mills Fleet Farm to Applebee's. Oh yeah, yeah. That's true's like across the street. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Okay. I got it. So what year was it that you met Calissa? I'm guessing you give us your first impression. Uh, 13. 2013. Yep. And your eyes were open. Tell us all about it. Every detail. Uh, she was wearing scrubs. Ooh. And that is the first words out of my mouth. Hot. Say, Hey, are you wearing scrub? I didn't talk to her for the rest of the night. Oh no. Yeah. Yep. I thought you went to a party. Yeah, we were at a party and, and you, you were wearing scrubs, girl. Yeah, I came after work. Oh, you should have packed a mini skirt or something. This was the party that Issa's mom was like, mm, I don't know if I want you out. Oh, yes. And then she decided to let me go. She go. Yeah. And then, so I stopped there after work. It was a parking lot party. And Craig was like, what does that mean? It was a party. Sit in the parking lot. In the parking lot. Okay. Yep. Parking lot Party. Haven't you heard that song? Mm-hmm. Oh, and what about a tailgate? Tailgate party? Yeah. Party. Yeah. I was sitting on tailgate. Yep. Yep. Oh, nice. Very, very country. This stand at the time? Midwest. Midwest. It was very Midwest. He was 18 beers in. Oh, is that why you only remember that one thing? Oh, no. I, I give us all details. I, her phone number didn't, I was texting her all the next day after that. So after she didn't talk to you about the scrub thing, she still gave you her number? Well, I was giving it to someone else. Yeah. I just, yeah. Creepy. Right? You put it in his phone. You didn't know that? No, I don't think you said that. No, you definitely did not say that. Yeah, Craig. He was dirty dog. Why? Yeah. But like, this could go by in 2013 because cell phones, they weren't like secured at all. Yeah. Yeah. And like, I feel like everyone security was so into like their phones and stuff. Like, because they were so new for us to like, have at that point that everyone was just like, let me have your number. Let me have your number. Let me have your number. So like, it wasn't a weird thing then to just like, have people's number. Yeah. You know? Mm-hmm. Now would be weird. So don't do that now. So, did you know, did you, have you ever heard of Calissa before then? Have you ever like, saw glimpses of her or like saw her in passing? Okay. When we were in like New Hampton, um. We were at like an auction and I think I, I mean kindergarten or preschool might have like played around underneath like those hay racks at, at auctions. Oh. He recognized my dad. I recognized her dad. Wow. And he, I remembered that that man had a little girl with him that he was playing with. Oh my gosh. Wow. That's kind of cute. But that's, and we went to auctions all the time, so, um, oh, I suppose because you were a farmer's daughter. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So that would make sense. Yeah. I never went to an auction. Oh my gosh. My dad always asks, and I'm like, I ain't going. They're boring. Oh, we went to auctions all the time, but I always wanted to talk like an auctioneer. Can you talk like an auctioneer? Nope. I'm pretty slow. Do you think you could like try? I always think I can do it. Feel like I could. You talk pretty fast? You probably could. I think I could. But you gotta take like a think I talked to an auctioneer, I think it's like a week's class that you have to take and that's it. Really? Oh really? Yeah. And I'm like, really? It seems like those guys have been doing it since they were born. Well just practice. You don't need a class. Yeah. And they do like a, like a, oh, what do you wanna call it? Like a riddle. Not a riddle, but a rhyme with like bees. Mm-hmm. Or peas or, oh, what's that? What's a uh, one, A cadence kind of a thing. Yeah. Sally sells seas sell by seashore. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And you just kind of like up, it's like a vocal warmup. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So that's, that's awesome. So you remember seeing Calissa at an auction with her dad? Maybe. Maybe. I mean Oh, young, young, young, young. Yeah. And don't remember a lot, but yeah. And then you met at a tailgate party. Mm-hmm. And this was in 2013. So how old were you about? I was 18, he was almost nine. He was almost 20. Okay. And then, wait, so you're gonna be 32 then soon? Yep. Okay. And then after, in October, after you slid your number in her phone? Sneakily, yeah. Okay. And she was like, Hey, who's this? Mm-hmm. Yep. Were you like into it immediately or were you like, Hmm. Oh my gosh. I, I was not used to attention. Mm-hmm. Oh. So I went to college. I went to this new environment where there's new people. Mm-hmm. And I was the new, I was like one of three girls at that party, and there was like 20 guys there. Oh boy. Right. So it was like cattle. I was like a new thing girl. Sorry, was that gross? You're like, you know, man, man, cows, bulls, they have all those ladies. Yeah. But this is like the opposite. And they're just like, wow, there's ladies here, we gotta get in there. Yeah. Wouldn't you agree that it was just kind of like I was Yeah. It was a sausage party pretty much. Yes. And so I was the girl that was there, and so I, I was just like so flattered Yeah. With all this attention that I was getting. Mm-hmm. So he was one of like a couple guys that I was. Talking to, to, oh my goodness. Cool. Just, and I was supposed to meet up with him, with another guy, John, the next night, shout out to John. Oh my God. Thank God. That didn't work out. Facilitating romances all over, over the place. Place. Oh no. So do we. You don't wanna say last name? He canceled on me. I don't remember his last name. Oh sure. He canceled it. Me.'cause he said he got food poisoning. Mm. I'm a liar. And so I was like, well, I still have permission to go out, so I'm still gonna go out with somebody. So I texted Craig after and I said, Hey, I get off at 10 o'clock, the whippy dip closes at 10 o'clock. I want, this is a natural extra. I want a small blizzard with extra cookie dough, no chocolate chips. And I'll meet you at 10 o'clock at the Whippy Dip. Or at 10 15 at the Whippy Dip. And he. I didn't know it at the time because I came and he didn't have ice cream. He just had ice cream for me. I'm like, where's your ice cream? He is like, oh, I didn't want any or whatever. You're lactose intolerant? Nope. Oh, he was so broke. He didn't have money to buy himself ice cream. Yeah. I had a$10 bill,$5 when it to get to gas, to decor and then the other five was for the ice cream. That's so sweet. That was really nice. Like he literally like went over to his neighbor's house and was like looking for coins in the couch cushions. Oh my God. When did he tell you this? Oh, not too long after. Yeah, like six months after or something. Okay. Not like that day of. No, no. I was, yeah. That's sweet. That's sweet. That was sweet. She married for love. Not money. Nothing wrong with that. Yep. There we go. But you married for money. Sugar mama. Yeah, girl. Well, I was working as a CNA at the time. Mm-hmm. And CNAs were making So you were making lot? Yeah. Oh, they were making a lot. Yeah. Yeah. For being in high school as Yeah. High school. Oh. I was always looking at CNAs. I'm like, that's true. They got money. Yeah. For real. Yeah. But like the test was too expensive and I just, it wasn't committed to it. Like, nah, that's fine. I'm okay. I was a dishwasher at assisted living. I don't think you would've liked it. I don't know wanna know, but I'm, that's where I saw Calissa. Yep. Yeah. I saw her with her walkie-talkie and the bell and with her clipboard and she's just walking down the hallway and I'm like, that's a powerful woman right there. I'm not gonna get in her way. President. Yeah. Literally. So, um, after the whippy dip date, right? Mm-hmm. Dip. Yep. Okay. Um, you dated like obviously six months longer. Oh yeah. After that. So then like, uh, the next time I actually met her parents on Wow. 30, because I still lived with my parents. Yep. Yeah. Moving fast. Yeah, we moved very fast. We got engaged, we met in July. We got engaged the next August. We got married the next September. Wow. We had, we bought our house the next November, or no, that same November. That same November, and had a baby the next September. Wow. Wow. So did you plan on that, um, moving it that fast? No. If, if I had to do it over again, I'd say stop running. And I, and I think, yeah, I'd say slow down. Yeah. I think me and her both said it like, yeah, I don't know what were rushing for. Did it feel like rushing or was it just like It didn't at, it felt right at, at the time. It felt like natural. It felt right, wouldn't you say? Yes. It felt like natural, right. The next right move at the time. But like, looking back, it's like wow, kind. It's kind of rash. So if your kids grow up and they're at the age that they meet someone, what advice would you give to them? Slow down. You're doing fine. You can't be everything you wanna be, did you that the fo time? Why do you say that though? For what reason do you say that? Because like, I'm like meeting, I just had this timeline in my head that I like had to do these things by this amount of time. And you gotta remember, all my siblings were older, so I was, they were all getting married at the same time. All in this stage of life. Like most of the people that we hung out with were already married, already had kids, already had house, already had all this stuff. So I think we just like, so it was like a pressure that you felt to do that? Like a timeline, like a, I think everyone gets that timeline. Like they A little fomo. Yeah. But now I see people my age having kids and having babies and it's like, well, they're not behind by any means. Wow. So I don't know why I thought that. I would feel behind, if that makes sense. Maybe the, the younger sibling mentality is probably there too. Yeah, because Are you the oldest, Craig? Yes, I'm the oldest. Okay. So do you feel that rush or. You didn't feel, you didn't feel like that. Like, oh, I'm, so I just kept going for the next thing, I guess. And we talked it over and it seemed like it made sense. And my parents really love Craig. Yeah. I was gonna ask you, uh, since Issa's Dad's passed, what did you, what was your first impressions of him? Um, at first Scared. Yeah. Uh, funny story was, is, uh, I was on like the second date at your parents. Mm-hmm. And we were sitting around the dinner table and, um, he's like, yeah, we got a compost pile. Chew up a critter of 150 pounds in three days. What do you weigh? Craig and I, at the time, I weighed 150 pounds and I was like, he was just, oh, oh my God. That was your shotgun moment. Yeah. That was the shotgun moment. Yes. That's funny. So he was skinny. He was so skinny when I met him. He was, they always are. He had like. So you were so broke. If, if you pulled up the picture of, uh, Buck's wedding. Yeah, I should. Oh my gosh. Oh man. Yeah, I, I'll send it to you guys, but like, just, we had like, did a selfie of us together and like I have a naturally, like, wide face. Yeah. And his face was just like, sallow like next to mine. He was like, I beefed him up for sure. But this is beefed. Yes. He's so skinny still. Absolutely. Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Um, and, uh, but what I was going to say, my parents really loved Craig and they absolutely approved of our relationship. They were very encouraging. They were, they weren't like against you guys getting married young or anything? No. Okay. They were thrilled to have Craig as a son-in-law. My mom still says that, like, Craig's her favorite kid. So that's awesome. Yeah. So yeah, so I feel like that was what pressured us to move more quickly. Not you guys, not pressured us, encouraged us. So you guys didn't have like a defining moment of like being in love. Yep. We do. You do? Yep. I remember the first time Craig told me he loved me. You wanna share that story? Did I get hurt or something? Yeah, it was mountain biking. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got hurt on the foot. Foot. Was this face-to face? Or Tennis is face to face. Face to face. You were mountain biking together? No. Nope. Oh, nope. I, I, that was my college hobby is mountain biking and, um, fell down, going down Palisades Park. Oh, I've heard of that. I've heard of that in decor. Okay. Mm-hmm. Pretty bad tumble. Ooh. Anyways, she was bandaging me up and I just looked down. I'm like, I love ya. Aw. And she's. Yep. Just looked straight up. I'm like, we met a week ago. Really? Wow. Wow. So then I contemplated the rest of the night. She went to work right afterwards. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, I'm a dumb ass, you know? Yeah. She hates you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's funny. It worked out. Yeah, I did. I felt, I felt those feelings, but I was like, this is too soon. You know what I mean? Like, I felt like in my head I was like, there was like a warning bell that was like, this is a little soon. But I, I, I would agree You didn't feel that warning bell when he texted you after you didn't actually give him your number. I was just, I know. I'm chasing opportunities. I'm girl. That's awesome. That's sweet though. Yeah. Yeah. So you were a CNA when you were bandaging him up. Mm-hmm. Did you have any plans on being a nurse? Yep. I was already in nursing school. Okay. So did you see that, did you say see that? Like, oh yeah, you're gonna be a wonderful nurse. She bandaged you up? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, and then she has just that passion. She really does. Mm-hmm. You can just see it. Yeah. Yeah. Beam. Thanks. Another crying episode coming away. I just wanna give a thank you. Thanks. Okay. So after, well, what date? That was a week. A week date? Yeah. A week after meeting. Mm-hmm. Oh my. That's hilarious. Oh my gosh. That's so sweet. And then, yep. Um, what made you wanna propose? Oh, man. Yeah. Are you guys just, did you guys discuss it and you're like, I think that we should do this. Oh, really? Yeah. I feel that from you because every time we talk about something, you're like, oh yeah, I've already talked about it. I've made a pro con, I've listed, I'd know all those, all the steps. I know all the costs. So what would you call that? A planner or like a Yes, absolutely. A planner type A Yes. Absolutely. What would you, what would you be like a, are you a planner too? Do you like your list? She, she leads and you follow with a planning. Oh, it just, I don't know. Depends on the situation. It, it really depends on the situation. Like if it's something to do like outside and Yeah. You know, then I'm taking the lead and stuff. The camper thing, you were the one that was like, don't make a rash decision. Let's plan this out. Yes. Yeah. But like, usually that's issa's thing. Yeah. So it really, yeah, that's But like when it came to like the house remodel, it was all her. Yeah. Yeah. Lead and Yeah. It's great. That was a dark time. Oh, we'll get into it. We'll get into your financial stuff. Yeah, we need to talk about that.'cause we gotta work from the, this'll be a long one. Yeah. Gotta build up. Yeah. Okay. So you guys both discussed the proposal? Yep. Or like, yep. Okay. Mm-hmm. And you picked out the ring together and like you went, how'd that go? And you sent, took pictures of three different rings that you liked and you had kind of decided on this one and you said, I really like this one. You just slip it on and off. Wow. Dang. Good for you, girl. Pretty, yeah. And so he came home and showed me a picture and I was like, yes, I it Great. Because Looked mechanical. What? Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. The way that it like crosses it swirls and Yeah. Fits together like that. And I literally had to hunt for the bands because it did not come with the bands. Yeah. So I had to go. So went to the local jewelry and they city. Yep. Shout out Kay. Yeah. That's where Hannah gets all her stuff, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, um, yeah, I, we knew we were pay paying off the ring, both of us were. And we had to pay off like 50% before he could pick it up. Oh sure. And then, um, he picked it up and the next day he proposed and I knew it was coming. Walk us through that story. What happened here? Tell us proposal. Put us, put us in the moment. Yep. Alright, so proposal. Uh, yes. Close your eyes. Picture it. Yep. So we're in decor at Phelps Park. Okay. Uh, we go on a long sweaty hike with her brother. Oh gosh. Carl. Oh, Carl. So he'll be the cameraman, future cameraman. Yep. Yes. Got it. He was got it really. And halfway through I could just tell Issa's like, you're not fooling anybody. She could just use, you're gonna propose and you're going to get down on a knee at a bridge and propose to me. And she was like, I could see her rolling her eyes, but I'm like, I do this anyway. Have his moment. I don't care. Let him have his moment. Yeah. So I went in guns a blazing with down on one knee. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Did you hunch he didn't hunch. Did you? On the bridge, do you have pictures of this proposal? Yeah, I have pictures. Yeah. Okay. We need to see these. And they need to be, you need to be, this is gross. You need to have back erect. No, he looked good. Good, good. The pictures are perfect. Yeah. Have you seen those? No, I haven't. Oh, they look like savages. That's disgusting. You wanna marry me or something? Yeah, gross. Use your core muscles and sit up, you weirdo. No, it's very strange. Or like Shane Dossett, he was on both his knees. Oh, isn't that weird? You're on both knees, aren't you? Praying then to that she proposes, you know, something. Oh, I didn't think of it much. And then you see pictures and like, oh, that looks kind of, well, yeah, I guess you don't think of it in the moment, but afterwards you're like, man, it looked like disgusting. We don't want that. So did Carl take pictures of the proposal? Yes. Good. Was he just in the, I could just see him in the trees and the horses like, well, he was with us, so, yeah. Yeah. And um, yeah, I said I still cried. You cried? Yeah. Yeah. Even though I knew it was coming. Wow. So that's happiness. I, I see you guys looking at each other and it's so sweet. I feel like we should put you next to each other so we could both look at, look at both of you at the same time. Okay. Okay. So cute. That proposal and then the wedding.'cause obviously weddings can like really put people out. Yeah. Do you mean that you waited a year to get married? Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. So what was your plans with that? Did you, you know, obviously like, oh, I want a big wedding. I want a simple wedding. I wanna, what was your planning into the wedding? All of my siblings and the financials were getting married like at the same time. So I was like right in that group of them. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So it was just kind of, it was our year. Yeah. And we kind of knew what we didn't like from others, what we liked. Yeah. And it was just kind of, it was just wedding season. Yeah. All around. Um, my cousin was getting married the same year. Um, it was just a very general like. I feel like every weekend there was an event for somebody, like a bridal shower or like wedding dress shopping or like bridal bridesmaid's dress shopping or something like that.'cause it was just, it just really naturally fit in with everybody else's timelines as well. Yeah. And then like the Waco Event Center was like less than a year old. Oh yeah. It was popular, right? Yeah. And so you had to get in on it. You got on the ground level. Nice. You had to literally get in on it. I think it was only 750 bucks. Wow. That's true. And now it's like astronomical a lot more. Yes. So yeah. And everything was held in Waco there. I mean, good neighbors just made it simple. Good food. What'd you have for food? Um, rack of pork from YouTube. Barbecue. Shout out YouTube. Shout out YouTube. I love them. What they did, mine too. What have, did they Yes. Yes. They were really popular. Oh yeah. And they still are. They still are. I talked, did you have what size? Sides. I need to know. Sides. Mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. Potatoes. And they're, and he actually peels the potatoes like they ain't instant. Poor guy. Um, and I think green beans, bacon, green beans. Yep. And a dinner roll. Oh, it was so good. Everyone complimented us on the food. Mm-hmm. Nice. But, um, we had the best wedding day. I know. Everybody thinks they had the best wedding day. We really did have the best wedding day. Just'cause you were like chill or what? It was so fun. Everything went perfect. The fire department surprised us. We came out of the,'cause Craig was on the fire department. I was on the first responders and we came out of the church and my dad had arranged for all of the fire trucks to be lined up. Oh. And so they did a parade from, oh my gosh. The church. We were in a hay wagon. Oh, cute. Yeah. We did a hay wagon, uh, hay ride Driven by, uh. New Holland Tractor, new Holland tractor.'cause Craig was working for New Holland. Shout, let shout out. Shout out. Yeah. They let us rent a tractor for the day and we did like a parade around town. Cute. Oh my God. That was so, that's so sweet. Yeah. I love that. That's so, that's, I love it. Nice. The only regret that I have, and I think Craig would agree with this, is we didn't have a videographer. Oh. Oh. They were just, they were just at that point where it was kind of frivolous to have one. Mm-hmm. But now it's like pretty common that you Oh yeah. Have one. Oh yeah. Like it's just a part of having a wedding as Yeah. Somewhat. If you go and there's drones now. Yeah. Yeah. That's part of the package of video. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yep. Yeah, I thought it was crazy. But when Danielle got married, she had drones flying over. Mm-hmm. So they could get the whole,'cause it was an outside wedding. Mm-hmm. Get the whole view. Mm-hmm. And I'm sure like it was, you know, really pretty.'cause I saw the video, but like the drones were like, like the whole noise. And I'm like, what the hell? I thought it was like a bee or something. So they're noisy. It's funny. So I was freaking out. Yeah. But yeah, video videographer. Mm-hmm. Would've been great. Yep. It was hot that day. Oh, September? It was very hot. Yep. September 5th. Just like this library weekend. Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot like today. Ooh. Sweaty gray tux. Oof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our colors were blue and yellow. Cute. Which was a choice. I like blue and yellow. Yeah. I don't know if I would do that again. The color. I don't feel like that's you. Yeah. Now, no. No. Where did the colors come from? Um, well, Craig worked for New Holland and I like blue and I like yellow roses. Oh. Yellow roses is like a thing in our family, so, mm. Yeah. Did you have yellow roses in your bouquet? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's sweet. We still how'em on the, our nightstand. So with the, did you get'em dried? No, they were fake. Oh. Yeah. Okay, cool. I didn't know that was a thing. Do you use fake flowers? No. Dried. Oh yeah, and like pressed and stuff? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I just tossed mine in the trash can. You did well. I didn't know what else to do with them. Oh my gosh. I have pictures. My sister made her own flowers, like out of, I don't even know. Hankies handkerchief. You like fold'em? Oh yeah. People, wow. Like some of them were like knitted. Someone knitted some for her and stuff. And I saw, saw with my bouquet, some people go all out there for like all those little small details. Mm-hmm. I don't care about any of, she was just cheap. Sorry to say that Catherine, she knows she's cheap. She was just cheap. It was cheaper to like thrift hankies and stuff and do that, but, but still a cute concept. Something I never would've thought of. Yeah. My So you had pretty flowers? Yeah, but I toss'em in the garbage house the next day. My sister had a broach bouquet, so she took broaches. Interesting. And she like put them together. Is this your crafty sister? Yes. Okay, got it. Kayla? Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. Shout out Kayla. I could picture that about, she'll listen to this episode'cause you're on it. Probably you BFFs. Shout out Kayla. Yeah, no, I, everybody just likes Craig. That's nice. Likable guy. That's nice. He's a likable guy. Love that for you. Yeah. Yeah. Even in elementary, everybody likes Craig.'cause everyone, you know, everyone was like, look at what Craig can do and he could wiggle his ears. Do you remember this? Oh gosh. And all the kids are good thing I'm wearing headphones because I can still do that, you know? Yeah. But like it pissed me off because all the kids and the teachers were like, wow, that is so cool. And I'm over here in the back. The Dumbo. Yeah. No, but I'm in the back row and I'm like, I can fricking do that. No one's like giving me that attention. So I was salty at Craig. Oh boy. Like, oh boy. Oh boy. As a kid who thinks he's all that, he can wiggle his ears. That's good. So you guys didn't have to really do anything with the financial part of the wedding. Um, did you chip in a little bit? Yeah, we did. We, I think our total wedding budget was around$8,000. Oh, that's not bad. My parents gave each of us children$4,500. Wow. Towards the wedding. Wow. And then, um, they got, they invited who they wanted to. That was kind of like, if you, we are paying, then we're gonna invite who we'd like to invite. Mm-hmm. Sure. Which is totally fine. Yeah. Did you have a big wedding? How many people were you? Oh, three 50. Oh, that's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. How many did you guys have? Like four. Oh yeah. Courthouse. Courthouse wedding. That's right. Yeah. I'll say like 200 some. Yeah. Your wedding was pretty big too, I feel like. Yeah. And I was like, mom, that's actually a pretty good number. She's like, well, everyone's dying, so. Oh gosh. I'm like, oh gosh, gracious. So, yeah. But it, yeah, a small town wedding, they owe, they're, you know, lots of people. That's actually a pretty normal, yeah. 500 is when people were like, whoa. Yeah. 500 is a big number. I used to work weddings. Catering. Mm. I used to wash dishes, um, and then I bartended, but the, like, three 50 is pretty average. Did you split your, um, like people who were invited to the wedding versus people who were invited to the reception, did you only invite some people to some and not others? Everyone. For everything I think. Everyone For everything, yeah. Cool. Because you got married in the church. Yeah. So the church holds every, you know. Yeah. Yeah. That's when people, when they do outside reception, they're like, oh, I see. Yeah. Limited seating. Yeah. Yep. I see. Okay. Interesting. So you got married honeymoon afterward? Nope. Never. Still? Well, we had a, um, I won a vacation to Orlando. Orlando. You won like WON? Yes. Okay, got it. Um, there was a doctor and he had a, like a timeshare. Mm-hmm. And he couldn't go the week of his timeshare, and so he like raffled it off to the hospital employees. Cool. And I won. Nice. So we got to go on a baby mo. I was already pregnant at this time though. Okay. So it was kind of like a babymoon. That's cool though. Yeah. Still. What'd you guys do when you were there? Orlando. So did you go to Disney World? No. Nope. Okay. Nope. We did, we, we stayed at a golf resort, which, oh, you're not a golfer? No, no. Not boring. Yeah. But like, the pool was fun. Cool. Yeah. Um, the beach. Did you go to the beach? Yes. We Okay. We went to Daytona. In Clearwater. In Clearwater. Cool. And we went to New Smyrna. Yep. And say that again. New Smyrna Beach. Okay. It's south of Daytona. Okay. Yeah. Um, yeah, we had tons of fun. Good. It was great. How many months were you pregnant? It was 20 weeks. We just found out the gender. Oh, that's not bad. So you like still relatively comfortable. Yeah. You weren't, not so bad a whale and like on your feet. Yeah, I was. Morning sickness though. Oh yes. Oh shoot. And my feet were already a sticker. Really? Five times the size. Like I went through three pairs of sandals just trying to find shoes that would fit me. It was awful. I remember those days. That sucks. Terrible. My feet just exploded. Exploded. And they haven't, they haven't unexploded. They're still huge. You just have big feet. Yeah. That's okay. Nothing wrong with that. I'm a big lady. You must swim really well. You and your swimming you. I dunno. What do you think? I've like fla. Yeah. You just point your toes and fla flip flap. Such a marriage. So, okay. After your babymoon came home, and then you were renting at the time, correct? Yeah. Or did you buy before you got pregnant? We were renting. Okay. In WMA W. Okay. We bought a house in November. Mm-hmm. And we got pregnant in January. The same house. Nope. We bought a house, new house. Different house. Okay. Okay. Not the house you have now? Yep. Okay. No, we bought the house that we have now in November after we got married. We got married in September. Bought the house in November, got pregnant in January. Had a baby in September. Oh, got it, got it. Got it. Again, just like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Literally like, what we're we racing for? I get that know. But you guys, you've talked about it calissa, um, with your financial stuff. Mm-hmm. When did that all come hitting you guys? Hard? Yeah. Tell us about your biggest struggle here. Yes. The struggle of that. The struggle. Fast forward four years, fast forward, so there was no lead up to that. It was just like all of a sudden, bam. I would say we were pretty financially responsible until we were introduced to credit card debt through LuLaRoe. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yep. I got my first credit card. Carver was. Born in September, and it was January when I started LuLaRoe. Okay. Yep. And I put it all. Oh, Craig, what was your thought? Because you guys were together when you started LuLaRoe. Yeah. What did you think? Yeah, we've had a whole LuLaRoe episode. Yes. But what was your take on all this when she's like, Craig, I wanna do this thing. Were you like, this is the ugly thing I've ever seen? A little bit, but also like it was outlet for her, for you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Uh, I know she, she always liked networking. Mm-hmm. Connecting with different people, um, using Facebook for anything. Yeah. She would just excel at, yeah. So I was like, yeah, go for it, whatever. But also, we kind of, both of us, and I'm kind of struggled through like a postpartum sort of thing. Oh, sure. Mm. Yeah. You or both? Both of you. Yeah. Yeah. The first one's always hard. It's, I, uh, I didn't know what the hell was going on, so I locked myself in the garage and literally worked, completely renovated the garage and made a bar. Did stuff. She painted the garage. Yeah. Yeah. By hand. Wow. So it like, it was a lot of work but you painted the fence. Yep. We both kind of just like separate burrowed separately. Yeah. And then we would just like, alright, carver's your turn next. Yeah. Or carver's your turn next. Yeah. We were, went our separate ways there for a little bit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. During that. Yeah. And then, then she started to do the LuLaRoe. You were like, do your thing. Do your thing. Because, yeah, because she was like, were you don't be mad struggling during that time or like, you weren't like getting along or you're just saying like, this is how we were coping at the time and we that it like coping okay with It was coping. I think it that it was, I think it was just like moving through time at that time or you know. Yeah. Yeah. Just dealing how, however you could deal. Yeah. Yeah. We were not at our best. No, no. But that's pretty normal. Yeah. Yeah. I think we were both like kind of, I think that's when everything kind of caught up to us as far as like we're rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing and then we're just like thrown into life and we're like, holy shit. Yeah. And then I think that's kinda when it caught up to us, wouldn't you say? Yeah. And then like just trying to find our own schedules with like, okay, it's your turn to take care of the little one. Yeah. Or it's your turn. Mm-hmm. And trying to find those responsibilities mm-hmm. That matched up. Yeah. I was, I was pretty burnt out at my regular job. Yeah.'cause you weren't doing the same thing kind of thing that you're doing now. Right. I worked in an er. Mm-hmm. Um, that was pretty busy. I was pretty burnt out. Yeah. And I was taking on more responsibilities at my job too at the time. Yeah. He'd be gone for work trainings quite a bit. Yeah. Um, and then it was just, yeah, we were just, that first year was pretty rough. I think about the first remodel we did. Uh, when, that was like the first weekend we had away from Carver when he was like eight, nine months old. Yep. And that was just like us barely speaking to each other. Like Mm. That first year I can identify it after Carver and I can identify it after Anders Gann and I felt like we were more united. Mm. But like between, after both of them, I think the first year was pretty rough for both of us. Mm-hmm. Both kinda went through some postpartum shit. So then, um, you still did, you did LuLaRoe after Carver, basically? Yes. I did LuLaRoe for four months, but in that time, which is crazy because that's not that long, but you accumulated so much, so much debt, yeah. Wow. Debt that Craig did not know about. Yeah. So, so what, when, what did that look like when you came to him? You said, I'm gonna do this. You didn't mention like, I have to put this on a credit card. I have to do this to be able to do it. I have to do this. It was just like, this is what I'm doing. No background. She jumped head first. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I told him much about how much credit card or how much it was gonna cost or how we're gonna pay it off.'cause I just took all the profits and I just kept them.'cause duh. Why wouldn't you? I'm stupid. I don't know how to run a business. Yeah, I'm sure they get you like, oh yeah, you're gonna make money. Oh yeah. Within like a week. Yeah. Yeah. 10,000, whatever. Right, right. Yeah. LuLaRoe was a learning experience. Yeah. So we talked about, um, MMLM marketing in like, like maybe our first season. I don't even remember in our first, a long of a podcasting. So if you wanna go back and listen to that episode, you can hear all about's whole journey. Yes. But I kind of wanted to know more about Craig's point of view from that whole thing. Yes. So as she is dealing with LuLaRoe and like Bette is coming on, what are you thinking? When did you find out? Like how did you tell us? Like walk us through that whole thing. Found, found out about the The debt. The debt. Mm-hmm. Uh, 2019. So two, three years later. Mm-hmm. Yeah. When Gannon was born. Yep. Yeah. We had probably at least 12,000 by that time in credit card debt, but also like we were 23. Yeah. Yeah. You're so young. Yeah. Still forget that. But yeah. You guys were young. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then we had card debt. We had, and on top of it, I'm no saint either. Yeah.'cause I had, I had$4,800 in tools Yes. For debt that I never told her about. Was this before, after the marriage? The wedding? This was after. After. Mm-hmm. And it all accumulated. And then in 2019, Gannon's in the hospital we're like, we don't know how to afford formula. Yeah. Yeah. Because he had to be on this super expensive special formula elementum. Mm-hmm. And, um. Canon is their second one, by the way. Yes, yes. And we're like, I remember the social worker came in and she's like, hi, how can I help you? What concerns do you have? And we're like, we don't know how we're gonna feed this baby. Yeah. And, and she's like, well that's too bad. And like, walked out of the room. Oh my gosh, what that, who's the least helpful social worker? But at that, at that like, that was like a rock bottom right there. And that same day. And that's the point that you all shared with each other. That same day I was trying to fax my time sheet mm-hmm. For, um, teaching clinicals so that we could get paid the next Friday. And we were arguing about back and forth about who has to go back to work while our tiny sick baby is in the hospital. Because we're like, we, someone has to pay bills. Mm-hmm. And neither of us have PTO that we can, I was on maternity leave and so, yeah. I think I read, I read about this in your blog. You had a C-section with Gannon and you literally jumped back into work three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. And um, my dad was super sick at that time. Gannon was super sick. Um, and then on the way home from Rochester, I have, I still have that yellow notepad. Yellow notepad. Yep. Yep. And we just sat and we were totally honest and we wrote out all of our debts. Oh my goodness. Like top to bottom and we're like, holy in a two hour travel time. Yep, yep. And we listened to Dave Ramsey. Dave Ramsey Yep. Book about, um, just like, I, I just did like the highlights mm-hmm. Of the book. Mm-hmm. So that he could listen to it and understand. So I thought of Dave Ramsey. I did. She did. I was listening to it every once in a while. Mm-hmm. In the tractor at nights and stuff, but yeah. Yeah. My mom always talked about him and I'm like, well, I'm not so nerdy. But then like, actually hearing some people's stories and like, it can happen to anybody and it can happen fast. Yep. And I think, like, I think it's awesome that you guys were able, I mean, you guys were in the pool. I'm, I'm sure there was some fights and some struggles. Yes. And like, but you're both like, it's not, boom, you're not viewing it as like, Craig's mad at you because you've done this thing. Mm-hmm. Or you're not mad at him for doing that thing. Maybe you are, but like at the end of the day, you're a team. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so you both created a problem. You're gonna fix it together. I think that's good. Yeah. Yeah. We came up with some solutions and, and we didn't have that ugly postpartum period with Gannon. I think there was just too much else going on. Yeah. There was. And we were just so united after my dad died, we were just like there. Solid. Yeah. We were solid. Yeah. It was, it was a bonding time. That's really good. Yeah. That's really good. It really puts you Yeah. To the test. It puts things in perspective when you have those kinds of struggles. So, yeah. So, so now how do you do things differently now? Yeah. I take care of everything. Yeah. But do you feel like. Do it like you do you have to do that? Is it something that you want to do? Does it make you feel safe? It's something safe to do, to do. I have the time to do it. I'm such a nerd. Yeah. Love spreadsheets. And I'm, you've done all your research and everything. Yes. I, I love spreadsheets. I love budgeting, I love all of the things. And we're just totally open and honest about Craig's like, I need a tool. Okay. We'll figure out how to buy the tool. Yep. Um, we just, I don't know. And I'd only drive three miles to work every day. So, in country. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So it's not like he's eating out every day like he was when he worked in West Union. Right, right, right. Gas station foods, parties. Oh, Hardee's Breakfast. The barrel Chinese kitchen. Chinese kitchen party parties. Breakfast, because that's a banger. Uh, the mushroom and Swiss burger. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was thinking like, you know, biscuits and gravy. Yeah. But that stuff gets to, you know, Nick was a gas station. Oh, Calvin too. Uhhuh. Yeah. And adds up. It does, it does. So it's really convenient that the gas station in town isn't really open and Craig drives three miles to work. Yeah. Thank goodness. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. Yeah. So yeah. You got you out of the financial mm-hmm. Crisis, I guess you would say. Yeah. Um, did that take a lot of time though? I can't remember what you said when we talked about this. I mean, we're still debt, but it's different debt. It's not that d Right. It's not that anymore. Right. It's, we definitely don't have credit card debt. We definitely don't have car debt. We don't have, um, like we had roof debt. We had bike debt, we had furniture debt. Yes. We refinanced mountain bikes. What? Yeah. Wow. They're expensive. I know. Yeah. Insane. It was 10,000 for both of ours. Oh my gosh. You guys, what the heck? But you both enjoy it. So if we ever go, I know. Oh, worse. Well now you have multiple kids, but once they get older, you know, your littlest is still still, and then they'll go with us, so, yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. So that's nice. I don't know, we just, we, and it's hard and it's not hard to slip back into that, but it's always like an option, right? Yeah. So it's always like, even now when we're talking about campers and getting a new car, and it's like, do we do debt or do we not do debt? It's like, no, no debt. It's really hard. Yeah. But I wanna Is that like more like A-P-T-S-D thing? Like you're scared to go back into that hole? Yeah. And like be, because I don't, I don't know if I trust myself yet. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I trust. It's a long time. It's been a long time. That's fair. So, because how long have you, you guys haven't Gannon? Six. Mm-hmm. Wow. So. Mm-hmm. Six and a half. So six and a half years. I feel like you guys are very self-aware though. Yep. Like in that, so, and you guys. Discuss things now. Mm-hmm. They're, nothing is like hidden anymore. Mm-hmm. So, sorry. Yeah.'cause they call that financial del Infidelity. Infidelity. Infidelity. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I wonder how you would've felt if you'd also weren't hiding debt from me though. Oh, yeah. Because I was, I was pretty nervous to tell you. I remember talking to my therapist about it. Yeah. I don't know. I, but I re I remember and you were just like, oh shit, that sucks. Me too. Hashtag me too. Yeah. Not the same thing. Different context. Different context people. Um, but yeah. So yours is mostly tools, Craig? Yeah. Tools. Because you're a, what's tools? What's your job? I was a mechanic. Okay. And now I'm a full-time farmer. Full-time farmer farm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Farmer Craig. Farmer Craig. Um, C has always talked about it, how she, A lot of people don't know when they marry a farmer. Their hours are gonna be, especially in the fall. Bonkers. Yes. Mm-hmm. Um, how do you and calissa like, rekindle that romance when you've been out in the field, like for months, weeks at a time? Well, she works night shifts too, so it's like That's true. Right. Hi, bye. Oh. Literally like we high fived each other on the, on the way through the door the other day. Like, hi, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess. Maybe so. Yeah. Um, yeah. How do you, how do we rekindle that one release? How do you rekindle it? It does, it's an adjustment period. Yeah. It's, it's like a two or three day, like, oh, I'm living with you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, you can change a diaper for me. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing this all by myself. And, um, when it gets really bad, like we, we have our like, I don't know, we check ourselves like by saying, Hey, quit being a roommate. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Or just call each other out on it. Yeah. We've gotten really good at being really bad. Okay. Does that make sense? Explain No. Explain. No, it doesn't. Okay. It kind of does, but we've, we've been in the trenches. Yeah. Like we have definitely had conversations about if we need to continue our marriage or not. Mm-hmm. So throughout different periods of our marriage and so we have been in the trenches, so now we are really good at not going back to that place. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. So we're really good at being aware in a bad place, but still coming through for each other. Yeah. So that's nice. Yeah. Because a lot of people do not have the awareness. Mm-hmm. And they're just like, I'm out. Yeah. So tell us about that. Tell us about that growth that you guys have had. Like Yes. What does that look like, you guys? Because I remember seeing your blogs when you're like, see this happy family. It's not real. Hate each, you know? Yes. But I was like, whoa. Yeah. We were very open about it. Yeah. Um, yeah. It was, it's, uh, I'll, I'll let you take that. I'm looking at Calissa, but Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? Did you feel that too? I guess I didn't read the blog. Like what do you remember? We did a photo shoot and it was, Carver was, it was when Carver was really little and it was just you and me, and we did like a romantic photo shoot or something. We won a photo shoot. Okay. In Sumner? Yeah. Oh. And we were actually like, not even speaking to each other on the way there. Yeah. And like, yeah. Yeah. Not in a good place at all. Yeah. And now I can look back and be like, oh, well that was just postpartum shit. Yeah. You know, that's part of having a kid is being in the trenches of that. But now, but then I, so I wrote a blog post about that. How like, whoa, look at these pictures. We weren't speaking to each other. Okay. Yeah. And so that's the blog post he was referring to? Yeah. Putting on a face, I guess. That's a good thing. I got short term memory because I don't remember. Wow. Yeah, I do remember that now, but yeah. Yeah. How are you feeling like during that like, oh my gosh, like me and close haven't spoken, you know, we're having a little resentment. How should I fix it? Should I fix it? Oh, yeah. There's always that like gut feeling that what do I need to do next? Um, mentality. But at the end of the day, I guess, I don't know. We just pillow talk, right? Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's, we sort through it at night and yeah. Pillow talk. Pillow talk. That was our, that was our marriage counselor suggestion when we did premarital counseling. Marial, we had to do it through the church or whatever. Yeah. You guys had to do that too, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. But I actually encourage everyone to do it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because you talk about everything. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, finances and, I can't remember what else, but I just, marriage counseling in general I think would just be great for everyone to mm-hmm. I know she's hated, I know she's cringe, but Megan Trainer and her husband, Darrel Ra. Yeah. Spy Kids. Yes. Spy Kids kid Uni. Mm-hmm. They do marriage counseling. Mm-hmm. And they're very open about it. They're like, I think everyone should do it. It doesn't mean that you're in a bad place, but it gets you talking. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And yeah, I, Nick and I always appreciated talking to our deacon at the time, um, afterwards.'cause you just carry on the conversation and you, you know, it's just new topics to talk about. Mm-hmm. And get the other person's point of view on it. Even after you guys had been together for so long, you still feel that way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So. Well, I think it'd be great because like, you know, Issa and Craig, you guys are busy. Mm-hmm. So often. Mm-hmm. Nick travels so much, so Yeah. Yeah. Solo parenting kind of a little bit. Yeah. It's easy to get resentful. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, when I'm working nights, he's just sharing the burden and then Yeah. Opposite. And then you have the burden of, yeah. I don't wanna say burden. That sounds bad, but Yes. You know what I mean? Yes. Of the children being only, only the only parent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys have babysitters. Yes. Yes. How did you feel about, or who came up with that? Like, Hey, what about a babysitter, nanny kind of thing? You talked about this originally during the hospital thing, right? With Gannon. Is that what, what your original first experience was with that? No. When did we start having Kelly? Kelly started as our housekeeper. Yeah. When Carver was born and she came and then, I don't know exactly when she started becoming our babysitter. I think it was after Gannon was born. Is this the mom of that team that you Yes. Okay. The mother daughter team that we have. Yes. Got it. Um, but yeah, I don't know what we would do without them. Um, they are the glue. Yeah. That keeps our jobs possible. But how did that conversation go? Yeah, how did that come about? I don't know. Well, it was such a transition, I mean, since we already knew her that way and she's in the community all the time walking and Did Issa get the housekeeper? Yeah. And then you just kinda like, oh, we have a housekeeper. Yep, yep. Okay. Because I think I remember you said that. Yeah. I just, if you just got her so's like, okay. Like, he was like, he didn't, if something needs to be done, I usually do it like, like the lawn guy. I pay the bill for the lawn thing. Craig's like, oh, the lawn guy came today. I'm like, yeah, I know. I told him to, you know, you know, stuff like that. So. I'm generally okay. I would say I wear the pants. Okay. So along that line, let's talk about, um, that video that you made us watch, that documentary, oh, you know what I'm talking about, all the cards. Yes. How do you feel like, how do you feel like the balance is in terms of that now that we've just discussed? That Issa's, the mental doing. Yeah. Some loaded things over here. I dunno how to say that. See, it just caught me blindsided when she brought those out. Like,'cause I was like, I'm doing the best I can woman. For sure. I literally sat, I did not bring it up, right. I sat down and I'm like, I do this, I do this, I do this, this coming from a place of like, resentment is where you were coming from. This like this, I do this, you do that. Mm-hmm. Look at your pile. Look at my pile. And then, and then I started going through her pile and I'm like, I do that maybe once every two weeks. I do that every once every three weeks. Yeah. I did that yesterday out of her pile. I might not do it consistently, but it's like. You are trying to share? Yeah. Yeah. I try. And then So he was very offended. Yeah. He got in a big fight about that. Oh. Nick was very like, well that's just, you know, Calvin too. We, we still just, we had the same conversation like yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. So I definitely see where like some of the stuff is not mentioned that mm-hmm. The guy typically does. Mm-hmm. Oh, for sure. They have their own mental load Yes. When it comes to certain things. But that's, that's where Nick and I came, like he has his own mental load that I don't carry. Same vice versa. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So that, but that was a really good like physical representation of,'cause I think it's really hard. It's really hard without seeing it for me, like seeing it physically in a card. Yeah. Mm-hmm. To be like, oh, you do do this thing. Oh, you do, you, you have a parallel to what I do. So like mm-hmm. I'm thinking of in the house, in the house, I'm taking care of the kids and I'm not thinking of you being at work, like potentially being electrocuted to death and like, you know, carrying that burden mm-hmm. And working all the physical labor hours that you are. And so, you know, one thing I did is give your own mode. Um, it got me thinking like, okay, I can be intentional doing this stuff though. Yeah. Yeah. So what works best for me is Sundays and every Sunday I make it a thing to go from one end of the house to the other and clean. Mm. Wow. Love that. Give some coffee, some alternative rock music. Love that for you. And I go to town and then she knows it too. Yeah. Because then it's like, all right, Monday we're starting fresh because Yeah. I gotta clean house. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then Wednesday. Kelly comes, cleans the house on Wednesday, which resets halfway through it there in the middle of the week. Mm-hmm. Back to Sunday. Gotta do my vote again. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, just made me a little more like, alright, I need to adjust my schedule to make this work. And it's, um, it's been a lot better since the house remodeled too. Yes. We have just, we have functional land efficiencies into our kitchen and into our laundry room that makes, yep. That's your laundry room is beautiful, by the way. Yeah. I remember seeing remodel pictures and I'm like, oh, I love it. I love the color, I love the cabinets. I love that. I love everything about it. Yeah. But, um, did you guys see most of it yourselves? We did the tear down the laundry room a little bit more than, than the kitchen. How was that working together like that? Yeah. How are you guys as a team in that kind of, that one was better. It was better. We got a time lapse video of us working together. Yeah. Post it. Yeah. Yeah. But that doesn't, like, tell us how it went. You could have been like, the behind the scenes. It could have been sped up and you guys were talking. So we were post time, you know, we were postpartum with Anders going through the trenches with him at that time. It wasn't bad though. Not as bad as carver, not as bad as carver, but not good. Not great. Yeah. Not great. And I was very hormonal. That was a big shift for me. I, I just really struggled after Anders. Mm-hmm. And I can look back on that now and be like, wow, that was rough. Yeah. But, so I can see that I took that out on him sometimes. Um, and you did the remodel during Anders? Mm-hmm. Oh, he was, he was like a year at that point. But we were still, we just had never quite connected. Yeah. Yeah. I just saw a post, um, that like, I think it's like six years for a woman to like Yeah. Be quote unquote normal. Yeah. Mm-hmm.'cause you're going through the six months, or six weeks, you're maybe cleared up. Yeah. Two years maybe your hormones are getting balanced and then three years you're physical. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah. It, it takes a lot. It does. Does it, does that really factor into when deciding if we wanted to have another kid or not? It's like, I don't wanna dedicate another three years outta my life to healing. Like I can't do it again. I'm just like healing from both capacity. Yeah. Physically and mentally. For sure. I told the same thing to Nick. I'm like, I don't think I wanna hate you for two years. Like, I don't mean to. Yeah. Yeah. It's just you like, it's naturally like we're just resentful of It's really hard. Why is that guys? I think it has to do personally with the fact that as women we're just biologically nurturers. Mm-hmm. And it's our instinct to like. Be the first responder. The baby wants the mom and Yeah. And it, it's ingrained in a child, uhhuh to naturally wanna be with the mother. And so it just, those, the combination of those two things just make it difficult for, for one, for a father to connect with the child. Mm-hmm. And for two, I think for the father to connect with the woman because the woman needs so many different things, but like a man can't fulfill all of them at one time. And so there's always gonna be something multiple, some things, big somethings that are like slipping through the cracks. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah, I just, yeah, it's just really hard. I dunno if I wanna do it again, but you guys seem to be on a team for Nope. Anders is our last Yes. Like you were pretty Well it'll have to be now. Yeah. Well, Craig got snipped. Yeah. Sorry. She talk tells all about now, now that you're healed, how was it? What outpatient? Yeah. Normal procedure. Played music during it too. Yeah. Did you get to choose what kind of music? Nope. They picked. Yeah, because I was like, I'm a, I'm a conno sewer of many genres, so What'd they play? Uh, country. Yeah. Okay. They started playing fishing in the Dark and I was like, this is not a good song. The song, yeah. Swish. But every time we hear that song it's like, ah, I remembering Craig got a vasectomy. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably not it. Yeah. And that's about how long it took. I mean, it was really three minutes and sweet. Yeah. And, uh, you would, what advice would you give to someone who's going to get one, um, frozen vegetables for later? No, but then you can't eat'em afterwards. Nope. Nope. You can't. You don't want that. But you also get mixed vegetables with the lima beans, like 90. Nobody likes lamb beans. That so true. A hundred percent. So true. If lima beans are nasty, 90 cents, it's yuck. Yeah. I get the 99 cent ones from Walmart or whatever. So Calissa has been pretty, you know, expressed that no, Anders is my last. Mm-hmm. Like, there's no doubt about it. Yeah. Did you struggle, were you on the same page with her or were you like Well, oh, on the, I mean, naturally you a y Oh, so it was like a year ago that we were even talking about this. Okay. And it was like, do we really want to, you know, and you know, go to the beach and have a couple drinks and we're like, yeah. Do you really wanna do it? Literally, literally, no. No, nothing. Yeah. The last vacation, yes. It could have happened. And finally like I got thinking, alright, the third one, we were outnumbered. Right? Yeah. And so when she was dealing with Andrews, like you were saying mm-hmm. Like the baby takes so much time of the mom. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to take care of the other two. Yeah. Which when you're one-on-one, it ain't too bad. Yep. But two. Yep. Oda. Yes, yes. It's really tough for sure. Yeah. So it's, so then I didn't want three Yeah. To especially,'cause at that point Anders would've still been pretty young, so Yeah. That's difficult. Yeah. Yeah. So you, although then again, Carver would be older, so maybe he would be more helpful, but even still, like that's car is very helpful responsibility. Yeah. Like I hate to put responsibility on Gus when I'm, you know. Yeah. They're the firstborn. They're just kinda like natural born leaders. Yeah. Mm-hmm. They sure are. Mm-hmm. You see all their personalities and whatnot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I could see that. But yeah, you guys were like, Nope. Three in, done. Yeah. Done. Donezo. Yep. Nice. So looking to the future then, what do you guys kind of see happening? Just like in your gen, like we've talked about it a little bit, but Craig, like, where's your head at with just general like moving and jobs and just life, just camper, dominating. Dominating what I'm at, you know, like, so. I'm on the fire department, you know? Mm-hmm. Trying to build a fire station, you know, so trying to dominate there. Um, farming could always look for more acres, maybe become a partner in it. Oh my gosh. Wow. Okay. Um, that would mean, would you, but then also do less like field work? No. Like you would just take home more? Well, it would be more of like you're building equity into that. Okay. That operation. Mm-hmm. Um, but then also sometimes I'm like, well, shoot, is this my calling? Yeah. You know, and. You can work a Shields I or Shields I could, you know. Yeah. Get, get a vest. Sporting goods vest. Get a vest. Ooh. She must love uniforms. Does she like uniforms when you guys are having your alone time? Does she love it when you wear the vest? Oh my God. Sta rock. Well, it's just a question. Do you wear No. Craig. Craig, when Craig wears the vest, a name tag. A name tag gets her hot heart helmet. Ooh. Nope. The Slee farm kept the uniform there, but dang. Yeah, you could buy one on Amazon. The only vest I got is a Carhartt, you know, for, Ooh, she likes that. That's that. Fall. Fall. It's fall. Fall. That's a joke. But you're on the fire department? Yes. Are you a volunteer? Yep. Okay. Because the smaller towns, it's usually a mm-hmm. Volunteer. Yeah. Mm-hmm. What do you do? Like what do you do there? Everything. Everything. All hazards approach. He's the president of the Fireman's Association. Oh my goodness. Yes. What an accomplishment. Yeah, yeah. Um, been training officer, been secretary, kind of just moved through the ranks and mm-hmm. How many are there? There's 25 guys. That's actually kind of a lot. That's, Waco is very fortunate to have. Yeah. A lot of people that are volunteers willing to volunteer. Yeah. Yes. So how does, how does that look like? What does that look like in your schedule? Like, are you like one a weekend, a month, one weekend, every six weeks? Do you like, have specific training hours? Do you like, have specific hours that you're on duty? Like, what does that look like at anytime? You know, so there's a pager on my phone. Mm-hmm. Okay. Could be a, you could get called at any time. Okay. Yeah. There's not like set times that you have to like be at the station firehouse, the right kind thing. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Yeah. Interesting. Do you have a scanner at home that you elicit to? Oh yeah. That's very country also. I remember my grandma had one. Yes. Yeah. Everyone's just snooping. Yes. Oh, I love that. What's going on? I love that. Yeah. Mine don't pick up the police chatter or anything. Oh, she, that's what, I don't need to hear that all at night, but yeah, no kidding. Yeah, it's, I dunno, it's my little dose of adrenaline, I guess. 100%. Yeah, because I think you were an EMT, weren't you? Yeah, I was on first responders. I'm not anymore, but, yeah. But you, you like the adrenaline too? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wow. Adrenaline junkies. Yes. That's the mountain bike thing in you guys Uhhuh? Yes. Yep. Wow. We're similar in some ways. Yeah. Um, I think what, just to summarize what you were saying, I think you just want to be really good at whatever you do. Yeah. Yeah. That's like your future plan Yep. Is to just kick ass and take names. So what's the way that you guys support each other in your dreams? Like, I know you were talking about some job opportunities coming up and like mm-hmm. You know, you have maybe plans, like, how do you guys Well, and support each other. Like, she was getting this, you know, manager's position or whatever. I was like, well, we want this, you want that? You want this. You know, we'd just chatted out and chatted it out. Pillow talk when we actually see each other do. Yeah. Do you guys have a designated time that you pillow talk or do you just like, whenever you get a chance, you're, yeah, you just say, Hey, I have something that I really wanna talk to you about. Yeah. I think whenever we get a chance, whenever we get a hot second. Yeah. Yeah. A hot second. Whoa. Wait, I have more questions on here. I'm just going through this list that Issa sent. I do think some of these questions are really good. Yeah. Thank you. Sorry, Doug chat, GBT. Sorry about that. Oh yeah. I was gonna ask you, um, did she tell you about your chat, GBT maybe romance. Oh yeah. What? Oh my gosh. So people are talking about falling in love with their chat GPT. Really? Yes. Because they're like, can you imagine? So here's the example that I gave, which if you're a podcast listener, you've already heard this, but I'm gonna explain it to Greg. So when I had the nurse manager position that I was looking at, I was like so excited and I wanted to talk to somebody about it. And you can only talk to somebody about it so much before you just like talk someone's ear off. Right? He wears it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like texting Jet Chat, GPT about it. And I was like, what about this? What about this? What about that? And they're like, wow, that's such a great point. What about this? Expand on this and what about that? And it just like, oh my gosh, thank you so much for caring about what I'm saying. Like I have something in my pocket that sincerely cares about every single thought that I have. Yeah. I dunno about sincerely, but it, they puts on a good front. It listen, it has to listen like it has no other job. Yeah. So anyway, I just thought that that was, I'm not falling in love with my chat GBT, but you're being replaced. It was. It was a connection. Yeah. You were gone I think at a fire meeting that night or something and I was just like, I needed to talk to somebody about it and you weren't there. So I like talked to chat GBT and I had this like connection that's, she'll be marrying her, her chat, GBT, Eric after this. It was just like a real, it felt like a really good friend was like chatting with me about it. So anyway, this goes into my next question then. How do you guys feel like, what's your love languages? Like how do you feel loved by each other? What is something that you guys do for each other that makes you feel, so Craig seen wears his hat backwards. And sunglasses. I'm just kidding. I'm not talking about physical attributes. No. And a vest. He wears a hat, hat, sunglasses, hat and a vest is something, I don't dunno, really. That one's got a big hat. I don't think it's a hat thing for me. Oh, you should have him try it. Let's try it. Okay. It's been a long time since he's worn a hat, to be honest. No physical love language. Yeah. Like what? Like is there not necessarily love language, but like is there something that. They do or say? That just makes you like feel seen. I think we really loved connect through music. Yeah. Yes. You guys, Kara. Kara. Yeah. That's very sweet. So like the entire way here I was DJing. He's just trying to, he's just trying to get me to be like, oh my gosh, I love this song. Or oh my gosh, I remember this song. Or oh my gosh, this is such a great, like he's just trying to like, yes. And then we'll sing it together and We'll I love that. Do harmonies. Yeah. It's because they play guitar. Huh? Piano. Piano. I play piano and drums. Piano and drums. Mm-hmm. What do you play? Close guitar. Okay. I got them mixed up. Yep. I love it. And then your children could like have their own little instruments. You could be a family band. Oh, my family band. Nope. Craig wasn't part of a family band. Nope. But this will be better toward the local nursing homes. This will be, no, this is just free time, personal stuff. This is not for other people. Yeah. This is for Craig and Calissa only. So you connect your music. Yes. I would say we connect through music and food. Food, yeah. We love going to next. So you also like to go to Chick-fil-A next? I like hole in the wall of restaurants. So like, oh yeah, just like dive bars or like finding some greasy spoon and ordering their cheese curds and Yeah. It's always at a bar. Cheeses. The bar has like the best food. Yeah. I've been loving onion rings lately. They're delish. Yeah. If the batter is done right, if you guys go to Des Moines, there's this place called Ted's, Coney Island, something or other. That's not the whole name, but it's, it's a long name. So good. Okay, so good. Please go shout out. Please go. Yes. Delish, delish. Delish. So food and music. Yeah. That's nice. I'm terrible at gifts. Yeah. Okay. I've had a gift, not a gift giver. Like I, I can't hold a surprise. Oh. Um, and. Anytime I say something. Well, she's just a girl that gets what she wants anyways, so like, yeah. Issa's a buy it herself kind of guy. Yeah. Look what's in front of you. I know if anyone like wants to know, maybe Hannah will post this picture, but I'll, I post the video in the picture months ago, maybe at this point I was talking about, oh, maybe it wasn't months ago. Anyways, whatever. There was a salt and pepper shaker. It was a toast, and then a bacon and an egg. That was the salt and pepper shaker. And I was saying how much, it just makes me like happy to look at it. And I really wanted it, but I just would never order it because I don't know why I just would never do it. But Issa surprised me and she, she bought it for me. So it's really cool and I like it a lot. So yeah. Issa's really good at gift giving. Yes, she is. She's fyi. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I try and I love giving gifts, like that's my favorite thing. Sweet. Me too ever. It's really hard for me to accept gifts. Oh, so. I can appreciate that you have a, a gift for gifts. Yes. Well, thank you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, Craig, since, uh, Calissa said what her, something you do that's attractive to her, the backwards hat thing. Mm-hmm. What's yours for? Calissa. Oh, man. Is there something she wears or does her hair differently or just, oh, I'm blushing. Uh, come fall, like there'll be a time where she just runs out to the combine with me, and then we'll just literally talk and we're going down these mile long roads, you know? Mm-hmm. At five mile an hour, some people would think that was boring as heck, but to her she's like, Nope, I'm talking to my husband. I appreciate those moments. That's sweet. Oh yeah. That's sweet. They are slow rides. They are, yeah. Slow ride. Yeah. So what do you want your. At least at this point. Okay. You guys have a successful relationship. Mm-hmm. That's not like saying anything bad about the future, but what do you want your guys' marriage to, like, say to your kids, show to your kids. Hmm. Like what's friendship? Yeah. Yeah. I want them to say that like, my mom and dad were, were best friends. Mm. Yeah. And grow from it every day. Yeah. I loved her more than yesterday, that's for sure. I love that. What, what happened yesterday? That's sweet. That's sweet. No, I'm just kidding. No, I mean, like I say that every day, you know? Today, you know? Yeah. Aw, thanks babe. Cute. That's very sweet. That was very sweet. Yeah. That's very sweet. Um, but yeah, I just, um, you're my best brain and so I, I just think that I want other people to pick up on that. Mm-hmm. My kids to look for a friend in their partner. Do you, um, like express, like when you guys are kind of angry at each other in front of your kids? Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Do you yell in front of them? Mm-hmm. Or you just mean like you have arguments? Both. So I have a theory on this. My parents never, ever, ever, ever, ever argued in front of me, ever. I think I am getting what you're gonna go through. And so I didn't know how to handle conflict in a marriage, in a relationship. Mm-hmm. Can I give an opposing view though? Sure. I'm sorry, mom. If you listen to this, all my parents did was argue. Oh. And it was loud and it was scarring. Sorry to say that. Mm. So I'm not saying that what you guys do is anything like that. Yeah. Anything like that. But on the opposing view of that, I think you just have to be really careful. Yeah. So I would say we have tiffs in front of the kids. Yep. Mm-hmm. I don't think we yell at each other in front of the kids. Mm-hmm. Nope. But, and then one thing also is. They'll also see us maybe three hours later, resolve the conflict. Resolve the conflict. Like they, they see me. That's the most important part. They see me say, I'm sorry. Yep. Mm-hmm. Or we come back together as a team. See affection, hands holding, hugging. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's important. Is that kind of what you were Yeah. Um, Nick said this on a podcast, he said, some people never saw their parents fight. Mm-hmm. And they're like, well, why isn't my marriage working? Like, growing up, my parents were always happy together, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. They never fought. They never fought. And why is my marriage not like my parents' marriage? Right? Mm-hmm. And then they start like, Ugh, there's something wrong with us. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But like in reality, maybe the parents were fighting. They just behind, like behind closed doors. Yeah. Behind doors, closed doors. Or there was this really awkward tension in the house that nobody talked about. Right. And then, which I feel like we had that. Then it was worse. You as a kid mm-hmm. Growing up. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Awkward. Like you could tell when my parents were fighting, even if they weren't like outwardly fighting, like you could tell that they were fighting. Mm-hmm. And it just was always weird. Oh, sorry to say, I'm sorry, mom. Yeah. But, but like that, I mean, that stuff is important. You saw and you're like, Hmm, I don't wanna be like that. Yeah. Learn from it. Yeah. Hopefully. Mm-hmm. But yeah, that's, I always felt like, okay, yeah, the kids can see it, but then like, if they see like, oh no, you want them to see you do it in a healthy way. Yeah. Not to like degrade each other or to mm-hmm. Like, manipulate each other or, because I always hear those stories because we're all boy moms of like a son. Yeah. You know, being abusive towards the girlfriend. Yeah. What did juicy Yeah. Growing up that made you wanna do that, right? Mm-hmm. So like, I always want a positive afterwards. Yeah. Because that stuff scares me. Yeah. So what kind of like, along that same lines, what kind of advice do you have for your kids and like for future relationships? Like what would you. I know you want them to see the friendship that you guys have, but like, more than that, what else do you want them to look for? Like, how do you want them to choose their partner? Like what kind of timeline would you think would be appropriate for them? Like, I'd tell'em to slow down, wouldn't you? You're my baby boy, is that what you're gonna say? No, no. But like, we just went so fast. Yeah. It's like there's no rush, there's no timeline. It doesn't matter what other people think or say. Mm-hmm. So I would just tell them to slow down. I want to be an awesome mother-in-law. Yeah. Same. Mm-hmm. So whatever makes them happy and continues our relationship. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. Um, there was a girl and she was dressed rather provocatively, scandalously, and Craig's like, and I was like, you know what? She's expressing herself, you know, like. Whatever she's wearing, what she wants. She's a teenager. And I just, the more, the older I get, the more I'm just like, you know what, if that was my daughter-in-law, good for good on her. If I had that body, I would dress like that too. And I just wanna be more open and accepting and not so judgmental, not so judgmental and like, good on you. Whatever you want to do is great. So that's how, that's the impression I wanna leave on my kids is like, you're not doing anything wrong. There's not a wrong choice in life unless you're in prison. You know what I mean? Like that would be a bad choice. Or you should be in prison whether you are or should be you. Do you boo? I just wish that they, I like, I had that impression on my kids is like, I just want you to do whatever you want to do. Mm-hmm. That's what I wanna leave on my kids because I, I really don't care what, what they do or what they wanna do, as long as they're happy. So pretty much on the same boat, Craig? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Unless you're messing up real bad. Yeah. Like there's a limit to that, but in the end, like, things don't really matter. You know? There's very few things in life that I would completely sever a relationship with my children. Yeah. Four. I tell that to my kids all the time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is there anything that you wanna say? Last words? Yeah. Before I murder you last. Just kidding. What? Just last words. I just thought, no, I, you feel like you express expressed yourself well? Expressed yourself? I think so. Yeah. No regrets. Not even one letter. Okay. No regrets. No regrets. That's awesome. Well, thanks for being on. Yes. Yeah. It was good to have you taking your time. I feel like we've never been able to have like an actual conversation because it's always been loud. Yeah. And, and I don't have good hearing. The one time that we, well, I think the one time that you guys were in town, like it was a parade and we had, all of us had our kids, like things were happening and it was just chaotic. Wasn't conducive to like conversation. So yeah. Yeah, but we're gonna go out to eat and then, so we'll get to, you know, talk more. Oh yeah. I'm hungry. Yes. Awesome. Where we eating? I was, I are you, did you decide Mexican? I don't plaza. I'm always down for Mexican, but, um, you guys are the, I'm, I'm up for anything anywhere, Mason City food scene, but I, I've been out of it for a while, so Calissa wants Chick-fil-A. I know that. Oh my gosh. It's Sunday. Oh, balls I forgot. Dang. All right, well, love, we'll decide that. Yep. And we'll probably post about it later. So, pictures, this has been Hannah and Calissa and Sarah Craig. Say that again. Who are you, Craig? Okay. Thanks for coming on, Craig. Yep. Thank you. Bye. Bye.