Practical Parenting 9

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Transcript

SPEAKER_08 0:00

Never admit to record.

unknown 0:04

Now we're official. We know it.

SPEAKER_08 0:08

We're still official.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Where these uh recordings go, I don't know.

unknown 0:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 0:18

Don't they go up on the website?

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Is that where Kenny puts them? I think they do. Okay. I don't know. Well, I haven't picked up any followers yet, so I haven't said anything controversial about it. Okay, well, let's get started. Let's get let's get started.

SPEAKER_08 0:37

Let's get it started. Well, we can start. We can start. So before we begin, I have to say, happy anniversary.

SPEAKER_04 0:50

Today's our anniversary.

SPEAKER_08 0:51

41 years today.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. She said I do. I said I'll do my best. Do you know the story about the nervous bride?

SPEAKER_06 1:12

No, not Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

So there was a there was a nervous bride and she was just at the church, just so nervous. So the maid of honor took her aside and says, Okay, just calm your nerves, just focused one step in front of you, focus on the aisle. Just think, plot everything else, just focus on the aisle. And then she was still kind of nervous. So her bridesmaid comes over and says, Okay, just um focus on the altar. Forget the aisle. Just it's a Christian ceremony, focus on the altar, and you'll focus, and you'll be next. So still nervous, still nervous. So now they're getting ready to walk down the aisle, and the father and bride says, Focus on him. If you focus on him, everything will melt away. Just focus on his face. So she's walking down the aisle, she goes, aisle. Altar? Can I alter him? I'll alter him. That's how you don't. Right. So hopefully you weren't thinking that as you went down the.

SPEAKER_04 2:21

Speaking of that, marriage group is Saturday too. I don't know if you guys have that on your calendar.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

What Saturday?

SPEAKER_04 2:27

Saturday is our marriage group. Oh yeah. We're sending out a reminder email.

SPEAKER_08 2:31

Speaking of altering our spouses.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

That's what I said.

SPEAKER_05 2:37

I know.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

And Suzanne was just saying, Oh my goodness, I didn't have that on my calendar either. My 20th, yeah. Whoever comes, we're sending out uh sign up tonight. Yeah, we need to do that. Well, it's always a week prior, so because you almost send it too early, everybody forgets. And then if you send it too late, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

You've got to be on the calendar. So you gotta send it on the calendar. Big week. Okay, well, it's open in prayer. Uh Father, we we turn to you this morning just grateful for our marriages, for our families, and uh for our church family as well, that um not only feeds us uh but uh takes care of us and watches over us and and protects us and and even disciplines us if we need it. So we pray this morning as we um approach um your word and um just the the topic of of social media and technology in our lives. Um so pervasive, but we we we know that you're a master of all, you're a master of the universe. Tech is just something else that's uh you're you're the master of. And so we pray your blessing and that you would get encourage us today, but uh also that you would uh empower us to uh take control of our technology in your name. Amen. Okay, so there was a ton here. So I've kind of entitled this class, you know, the good, bad, and the ugly. We're gonna start with the ugly, the bad, and then the good. Okay. We're gonna do the bad news first. And uh the ugly part. Yes, and you know, the the tech is just so uh more intensified. I mean, growing up with our boys and stuff, there was tech that we had to deal with, but it wasn't as uh per se pervasive as it is now, so it's just like on all fronts. So just kind of just to scare everybody, yeah. I I kind of as I went through my reading, as I went through my reading, and you can pass one back to Bill too, as I came across a phrase or some other means of getting at your kids, I came up with a this glossary of just the dangers of the internet. It's like the more it looks, it's like wow, it's everywhere. So, you know, I don't know if you know of some of these terms or not, but sad fishing, you know, just uh we see this at Facebook and everything. People will make up stories that seem worse than they are, and trying to get you some bad science, you know, um there's ARA generated stuff which is posing as good science, and it's harder and harder to tell that the good from the AI and just so much out there. Grind culture isn't something I'd never heard of before. And that's that's you know, maybe more among tweens, and this is the pressure, you got to get ahead, you've got to get the right school, and they're doing it to themselves. And you know, some of the social media is oh, I got it's a horror. And you know, that just pushed pressure on the kids that are not there. Uh deep fakes, I think we've heard that word before. Um, just uh, you know, stuff that's posing as real. Um there's one that brought it home to me as there's a post about Paul McCartney in the middle of a concert. A lady held up a poster that said, I I graduated. And like 15 years earlier, he had been at a concert and she was struggling, and he said, Well, when you graduate, I'm gonna sing a song for you. And so this is the story was all about him stopping the concert and singing a song. Like two weeks later, Mick Jagger stops in the middle of a sort of a concert to help a girl who graduated. You know, it's the same story, but a different, you know, it's like it was all bogus, you know. Um grooming, we've heard that. Uh sex torsion, I think we've heard that term is where well, where a predator gets involved with uh a teen or a young person and eventually talks them into posting a picture or sending a picture, and then okay, you want your parents to find out, and then suddenly you got extortion going on. Cyberbilling is kids doing it to themselves. Um, social media, um the you know, the social media can affect the kids' mental health, um, double the risk of depression and anxiety. Um, I know with our yeah, yeah, body image has been around for a while, you know. We we always kind of struggled with that too. I can remember in high school there's one or two, the girl who had uh anorexia, but you know, so we've been doing that selves to ourselves for quite a long time, but this is even more pervasive. Um sleep quality, you know, when they got that the blue light, you know, if you're staying in bed or watching until it's bedtime, you're gonna have trouble sleeping. You know, and particularly with phones, you know, the teenager they have the phone in their bedroom. Well, they're gonna be at 2 o'clock texting their friends and nobody's getting any sleep, you know. So that that happens too. And that that's why we shouldn't have a TV in our bedroom, you know, adults too, because you watch them TV and you're not ready for sleep. Porn that's been out there. Um, but what got me is you know, increasingly through social media rather than through porn sites. So it's coming at them without them even sneaking around trying. Uh, violent content, they see all that kind of stuff, and TVs like that. Online gaming is a great way for um predators to get in there, online gaming, um, and online recruitment, um, the artificial intelligence that now they're generating AI porn, I guess, and child sex that's it's attacking. And maybe that somehow they find ways to get through the the filters too. Um disappearing messages, that's uh was that Snapchat, where they can post things and then it disappears after, I don't know, a day or I don't know how long it lasts, but then they feel they can say things and post things, thinking it's disappearing, but it's really not. Um this is by the time a child is 13 years old, they'll have 72 million data points per person. Browsing behavior, location, I you know, so you've got that's crazy, you know. Um phishing has been around for a while, I think, too. Steel pretending to be somebody that you're not. Um contests and online quizzes, it seemed you know simple enough, but it's gathering data, and you know, now they got your email address. Pop-up scans, I didn't realize that's happening, you know, one of the pop-up ads that can take you down a trail. You know, I remember I I clicked on one that was talking about you know things to do about blood sugar, about diabetes.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Well, I had Dr. Phil who was promoting something, and uh um turns out it was totally AI generated.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

You know, because there was a couple little things that didn't quite add up. You know, he was doing a sentence, but then it was from a different background, you know. So in mid-sentence, I was like, oh wait, this isn't right, and sure enough, it's yeah. Google or you know, Duck DuckGo is Dr. Phil selling diabetic no scam. Wow, and then catfishing is another one. So those are just the ones I came up with, and there's more out there, so it's it's a cesspool out there, it really is. So um that's that's kind of the the ugly part. Have you guys encountered any of that nasty stuff?

SPEAKER_04 10:30

They're a little curious with a younger family. Yeah. Dealing with that yet?

SPEAKER_01 10:37

I mean, now I guess about all of us are aware of it. So yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm being aware is a big part of it. Um so the uh uh I guess the the bad, that's that's the ugly. Um the good and bad news is that um we need to take responsibility for what our kids are exposed to. You know, we we have an ascendancy to play the victim, you know, well it's just coming at them, I don't know what to do, or you know, it's this is just technology the age, but we kind of have to say, man up. You have to, you know, okay, I'm the adult in charge here, and uh so I need to take control of this rather than let it control me and my kids. And you know, that may that may make you the bad guy for a little bit, you know, but uh it's it's not an impossible task. Um one of the uh thoughts that really kind of clicked with me is that uh the notion that you know the screen, it's a little black screen, but it's actually kind of like a magic mirror. And it let it lets me follow my desires. Wherever I want to go, I can follow my desires in this little screen. Well, what's the problem with that?

SPEAKER_04 12:01

We're falling.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

We're falling, yeah. My desires are not not where they should be, so I I get to through this to follow my desires in directions that are not helpful for me. Um even it's just you know, you know, I I love playing Sudoku. Well, I probably spend too much time playing Sudoku, you know, and and uh uh because it's taking away from other things, but I'm following my desire, but it can also take you in bad directions. Um the other portion of that is when you're following your desire, is the algorithms quickly pretty quickly sends it uh uh figure out what your desires are and gives you more of that. So um, you know, last week I clicked on a video of a you know, a police video kind of thing, you know, pulling somebody over. Now that's all I get, you know, because I clicked once and now I see more of that. So um the problem is that it becomes polarizing as well. So if you got a husband and wife, probably more likely in families, it's like, okay, yeah, I I love this MAGA article, so I'm starting to read, and what's what's it gonna feed me? More conservative uh articles, and then it's gonna tend to get me more and more to the right. And then my sister or brother is or mother or father is they kind of okay, I leaned a little left. Well, it's gonna continue to push into that, and now we've got a big divide between us that wasn't there before. So it really can, you know, and there's nothing, it's not the algorithm's fault. You know, it's it's you don't blame the algorithm for giving you more of what you are desiring. It's it starts with you, you know.

SPEAKER_06 13:54

So um, I think one thing you didn't put on the class rate of terms is doom scrolling, you know, your doom scrolling? So there's a couple different ways you can describe it. We actually had a discussion yesterday with Caesar a little bit about it, um, where you're technically, I think the term is doom scrolling being you're you're kind of mindlessly scrolling and reading things, feeding your algorithm, but it keeps feeding you the bad news, right? So you're uh the world's falling apart. Um politically, everything bad is happening, you know, whatever. Yeah, um, whatever is doom or creates doom in you that you're stopping on, and you just keep feeding the algorithm those bad things. But Caesar calls it when sometimes we are prone to escape from our world of chaos into our phone, which is not a good habit, but not that it doesn't happen. That you know, you're just just kind of mindlessly doing something, not necessarily bad articles or not necessarily checking out sad, depressing things, but just sort of checking out. And so we had a discussion about that, and Kenny related it to like our parents' generation of having Fox News on all the time, or having CNN on all the time, or having MSNBC on all the time, and letting that sort of feed you in and create the content that you're you're soaking in constantly. Yeah, yeah. Um, because I remember at my grandparents' house, it was either basketball or fox. Um the TV was on all the time. And my parents started out that way, and I said, can can we turn off the TV? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because now they're not on TV anymore when we're there.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

Yeah, they have their iPads now. So everybody's like, I don't watch TV.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

But it's it's not online, but it's it's still feeding that. Right, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

That's so true.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

And the entire news industry is based on that kind of negativity that catches our attention.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

That's a good term, I think.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

That's out there, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 16:03

So uh kids know it and they see it. They they watch us do what we do.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Yes. Yeah, yes, they do, they do. Um and you know as we turn towards the good news. Where is it um and I'm thinking what scripture verses I'm am I gonna use for you know tech and social media? Because that didn't exist back then. Yeah, but you know what? The Bible's packed with it. There's a lot that applies to our use of technology and things. So um, if we could let's see. Um trying to think how my how to go this. Um want this table do, look at these three verses. We'll split it up because there's a lot of verses here. Um and then let's do this. I'll go and sit over with this table so there's a lot of things. Well, we have a discussion or something. Yeah, so in your table, read the verses and kind of talk about what might be a principle that we're applying to technology, social media, and we'll screen time in that Bible verse. And then we'll come back in five to ten minutes and kind of talk, and then I'll do these, we'll do these three as a group, just just dividing and conquering. So, okay, talk amongst yourselves, I'm gonna go join this group.

SPEAKER_07 17:35

First Corinthians 6 12. All things are lawful for me. But not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.

SPEAKER_06 17:46

Boy, that's big. So we can get on our phones, we can use our technology, we can use social media, we can allow our kids to do those things, but will it be profitable to them? Yes, and will they be in control of us?

SPEAKER_08 18:02

I can watch a Paul McCartney video, it's okay, but you know, then it shows me another one, and another one, you know, it's not necessarily profitable for me to sit there for and the next thing I know 45 minutes have gone by. It's different for us, Paul McCartney as you rabbit hole, right? It's like, what have I done for 45 minutes?

SPEAKER_07 18:23

People used to have kind of work hard, calm people. Now they can type one sentence into a program, that program will make like he was talking about all this fake stuff. So tell her, like, if you've seen it online, like there's pretty good chances it's not real. Anything you see online.

SPEAKER_06 18:41

That's such an interesting thing to be teaching our children, though. Like what you see is not real. Like, that's where we're at, though. You can't believe anything that you see or read online.

SPEAKER_08 18:52

And then and then I'm reading this. Right.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

Yeah, so then you have to make a distinction about God's word and yeah, that's what's happening in technology. That that's a big challenge for you all, and that's with our grandchildren. Because it wasn't like that. Our generation awards, even our sons. We kept them off. They didn't get phones till they're 18. And it was early internet stuff going on. Our sons were 36 and 32 years. But it still affected us gaming and pornography. Even when we had blockers up and all that, I know you guys are very problematic. We won't get to that now. We thought we were locked down. Okay, yeah. It's different now than as far as somebody watched that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_05 19:41

I mean, I don't know what it feels overwhelming because it feels like even if you use security measures if your kids are intuitive. Yeah. Or someone's so broken.

SPEAKER_06 19:57

That you're okay with them using. Like Caesars would just get frustrated because he couldn't get to something appropriate. Right. Because all of these things were up. And I I'm not sitting there next to him. Like it's it's tech. If they have tech, it's supposed to be in a family space. So not in another room, they're not in their bedrooms. Good space. But if they have tech, it's in you know, I'm not sitting there next to him. And so I'm not looking at every single thing that he's trying to get past or be blocked by it. So I just I don't want to deal with it at all. Kenny wants to more. I'm I'm fine that is.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

That's how I was too even. I don't want to watch any let them have anything. We have a little bit of battle with that too. I was I was only allowed to watch TV two hours a week. So he had a whole different experience. Very new technology. It's like, oh well games are fun. Anyway, right. You know, gaming and permissive hassle. Yeah, very permissive, very authoritarian. But we want to be a good idea. Anyway, we'll get to you guys.

SPEAKER_05 21:17

Uh Ephesians 5, 15 through 17. Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

You're very confidence. You're not my daughter.

SPEAKER_04 21:34

We have a limited amount of time in this earth, don't we? And those things suck the time. That is why it's such a tool of the enemy, I think. It's even even old me without a big agenda sometimes on days, and my life's so different than you guys in the middle of homeschooling and early marriages and stuff. I mean, yeah, you could do what Rick said. You look and you're like, oh, it's been an hour. And it's all good stuff. It's like home decor stuff, you know, whatever. But it's that's that's still, I could be enslaved to that, even though it's a good thing, like you're saying. It's not necessarily always pornography, it's just stupid stuff that you're interested in without us being in control of that time. So, how do you guys measure that with your kids? What are you what who's how's your oldest? What's your oldest age? You have 12. 12. So how are you dealing with it?

SPEAKER_05 22:33

Um he doesn't struggle as much with screen time as the second one.

SPEAKER_04 22:38

Yeah, and yeah, that'll be different with each tree.

SPEAKER_05 22:41

Yeah, we actually we used to do video games and we don't anymore because it affected him so much. We had to go for everyone. But um the older one is searching for things, researching more, and he's typing like narrations, but sort of essay. So he's on the internet, um and it's hot it's pretty hard because I can't be there. Right all the time. Yes. Um and even if you are, I mean, I read stories where they're in the same room and they're accessing something, or or if something is accessed then and it pulls them in, even so I don't know. I don't know, honey. You know, we talk about it. Yeah, um, if you see something that makes you feel funny, you can always talk to us about it because it's probably gonna happen. Like I mean, it is going to happen at some point, and it's impossible.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

Um I bought something, but it's good to be ready for it like you're doing it. Yeah, because we'll have friends who have phones, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_08 23:53

We take it we'll show them stuff.

SPEAKER_05 23:54

Yes, we already have friends that come from the neighborhood to our house. They're in like second grade. Wow, so that they already have friends and stuff. Yeah, they haven't been over lately, but my next plan was like, here's this basket. All the phones are going in this basketball. See, that's really I can't safeguard. Um, all the time. So I have two little ones, but it makes a lot of sense. I guess.

SPEAKER_04 24:23

It's so easier having a phone. I didn't think so. You know, there's some Christian families that know. Well, the flip our sons say they don't want to give their guns till they're you know they're out of high school. And if they do, they get the dumb phones. My son's a big advocate of dumb phones. He uses the dumb phones. So he's modeling that on weekends, yeah. Where this is all I'm doing is communication. So that's a good tool. Use the dumb phones, be against, you know, he's trying to make it cool. Not me. He's modeling that it's cool to not be like everybody else.

SPEAKER_06 25:08

I think we might hear a little bit about that in the kids' sermon today. I'm not sure we were talking about it this morning. I don't know where Kenny's gonna land on it, but um be a peculiar people, no, being called to the service of the Lord. So in Joshua, being called to a team. Like what team are you on? So God's team. Right. And what does God's team look like? And I love it. We're called to be different. We have that conversation in our house often, you know. Your friends, people you come well, that's not really true. You may come across people, but most people we come across are like-minded too. When you're all come ready for something. You may come across people who think that because you do this, you're weird. Or because you do this, you're a little funny, or because you do this, they're like, no, like you're not very cool. I'm gonna go over here. But Kai calls us to be different, he calls us to meditate. Um stand firm in what we believe in, or to act differently, or to speak differently, or to dress differently. Oh goodness. I don't know how I'm gonna buy my girls' clothes because there's no way that is appropriate.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

That's so true. Tries new bananas. That is it is weird. It's so sexual right now.

SPEAKER_06 26:21

And all I mean, all Ellie wants is to have a two big piece baby suit show her belly and like she's like it in our house. Yeah, but it totally happened when I was growing up. Right. Yeah, that's true. I still remember my first bikini. Maybe because we were in uh taking pictures of putting them on the internet.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

You know, there was no internet. So it's like you don't you're only a family song. Okay, around bikini.

SPEAKER_08 26:48

So you guys have a bikini.

SPEAKER_05 26:52

It's only a tree. We only made it through the first two, but three of them. Oh, what was the last one though? There's two ones. Oh, yeah. Isaiah 55, 2. What do you spend money? Why do you spend money for what is not bread and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me and eat what is good and delight yourself in abundance. Ooh, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 27:15

Delighted in the things of the Lord.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

And what was the last one? What's what's your budget for media? Oh. You got cable, you got you know news channels, the gaming.

SPEAKER_06 27:25

Yeah, that's that's part of how many streaming things you have signed up for. All the subscribers. And then you forget.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

What are you paying for that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:33

Yeah. Or the treasurer is a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Um Bill made an interesting comment in our group that you know there that was it Psalm, which Psalm was it? Psalm one. Someone to meditate on the word. On his word, he meditates day and night and night.

SPEAKER_04 27:48

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

And then Kate contributed that the average attention span of a Gen Z is eight seconds. Really? That's Gen Z. Yeah. So meditate on the word constantly or something.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

Yeah, which one is the easy? I think we have you're you're lower than that now. I think we're alpha. Yeah, I don't understand all that.

SPEAKER_06 28:14

We could look it up real quick.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

But you won't be able to trust it, right?

SPEAKER_06 28:24

You make it a different way.

SPEAKER_08 28:27

On Facebook, when you were doing the marketing for the film, uh I had to make the I had to make the all the videos and stuff. Yeah, you can put the kids on the internet. And um put all that on the internet, and you got three seconds. Yeah, they will give you three seconds of their time for free. And you gotta grab them in three seconds. That's all you get. So you have to put your big wow, your big whatever, right there at the front so they'll see it and they'll say and they'll save with the video. So, I mean, that's just it's all about eyeballs. It's all about eyeballs and attention and everybody's earning for that same valued space of somebody's time.

SPEAKER_06 29:09

And your kids, our kids are doing that for our time as we're sucked into the rabbit hole. True.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

So, okay, and do you have one more quick one?

SPEAKER_05 29:20

Uh Proverbs 27, 19 through 20. As in water, face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man. Sheal and Abaddon are never satisfied, nor the eyes of man ever satisfied.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

The eyes of man. The eyes of man are never satisfied. Wow. True. I have a couple more here from Deuteronomy, um, lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his ordinances and his statutes, which I am commanding you today, lest when you have eaten and are satisfied, we're pretty much there as a society, have built good houses and lived in them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

When your herds and your flocks multiply, well, I guess you know, your your cars, your garage is full, and your silver and gold and platinum and glass and plaque plastic, you know, and all that you have multiplies, then your heart becomes proud and you forget the Lord your God. There you go. So we can easily let that America. Um I will give heed to this is from Psalms. I will leave heed to the blameless light way. When wilt thou come to me? I will walk with my house in the integrity of my heart. I will set no worse worthless thing before my eyes.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Uh I hate the work of those who fall away. It shall not fasten its grip on me. A perverse heart shall depart from me, I will know no evil. Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy. No one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart will I endure. Is that not social media?

SPEAKER_08 30:51

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

You were talking about the arrogance, you know, that um comes, yeah. Or slandering his neighbor, you know. We say things in text that we would never say in public. And then uh Psalm 119, incline my heart to thy testimonies and not to dishonest gain. That's probably gaming can be that way too. Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity and revive me in that way. So this is not a new problem, you know. That right, who knows what they were looking at, you know, Egyptians or something. Or Campbell videos or something.

SPEAKER_08 31:30

Translation of that verse that I like says, turn my eyes away from worthless things. Worthless things, right? Preserve my life according to your word. So I like I like that translation, you know. And I would, I would, I'd cut that out and put it on my computer, taped it up there. Turn my eyes away from worthless things, preserve my life according to your word.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

So there's a new trend among the young people, and that's called looking out the window.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

Oh, literally when you're driving.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

That's what you should look around.

SPEAKER_04 32:08

That's all I did on the project. I know. It's a new thing. Going back to the new thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Yeah, and not, yeah, like kids not have screens and one of the verses you uh just spoke to me and said, you know, the wall that smokes my crying. Yeah. He grabs my cry and gets me into it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

Yeah, that's good. And the Romans passage we have is do not be conformed to this world, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So that's that's a constant battle because it's it's subtle that that comes at you. True. Um okay, so now what do we do about it? So do you have any tips for how you guys controlled media in your household?

SPEAKER_04 32:56

Oh, it's so different. It's so archaic now. So I really think I want to hear from them what they're doing now because it was all new when we were 99.

SPEAKER_08 33:09

David was nine and 99, and so 99, 2000, 2001, that's when it started becoming it, you know, when you had to start paying. And it was all brand new. So we had everything locked down, but he got a PSP, a PlayStation Portable, right? And I had no idea you could get Wi-Fi on a PSP. And he was able to, this is before you had we were stupid, uh, you know, Wi-Fi people's homes that actually had security. You could get onto the neighbor's Wi-Fi back in those days.

SPEAKER_04 33:39

And we knew how to do it.

SPEAKER_08 33:40

And so he had his PSP in his room and was able to get on our neighbor's Wi-Fi. I mean, I had everything locked down tight.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

They had no computers or screens in their rooms at all.

SPEAKER_08 33:49

Somebody else was there.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

Little did we know.

SPEAKER_08 33:52

So, you know, here we are 2001, 2002, it's all the beginnings of all this. Yeah, so it's all developing, it's all fast. AI now is all, it's all it's it's I don't know how you stay on top of it.

SPEAKER_04 34:02

So, how are you guys doing that? Are you do y'all have the blockers work now?

SPEAKER_01 34:08

I mean, well, we we had a couple of principles we even did before that. One was that um we did creative deprivation, we had no cable. We we cut our cable and bought an antenna. So there was because we we saw that every time they put on the uh what's the mutant ninja turtles, within 10 minutes they're all beating each other up, you know. So you know, we used to say that you know, well, TV doesn't influence behavior, but there's an entire trillion-dollar advertising industry that begs to differ. Um, so yeah, when we had an antenna, we had seven or eight channels. I didn't really have to police because there was nothing on. You know, uh the computer was in the family room where it could be seen by everybody. So we had a location. Um didn't matter. Towards the end, our youngest son had a cell phone, it was just a flip phone. Yeah, the flip phone was not in the didn't go to bed with, you know, not in the bedroom. So you know, people stayed with us so that they're not texting in the middle of the night. Um, so there are a couple things you can do, you know, creative deprivation locations, but um things I wish I had done differently.

SPEAKER_08 35:22

Looking back now, I think what would make the most difference it's yes, there are security measures you want to put in place, but there's a bunch of do not, do not touch, do not look. You know, just all this this law, do not do this, do not do that. And so I think where the where the power comes in is the relational aspect of it of I want to honor God and I want to say, I'm going to do this because what's the reason we've got to do not? Well, what what is the do? You know, and for me, um I had some of my own struggles in my life, uh that I tended to disconnect a little more than I wish I had in the family, and I I think it would have made a better impact on my family and my kids and my boys if I'd have been more engaged and dealt with our issues. We had struggles, I was disconnected emotionally from the family as a man.

SPEAKER_04 36:31

You also had a record career.

SPEAKER_08 36:33

I was I was just kind of yeah, I was disconnected and out watching TV shows and just kind of unplugging and not really plugged in. And I I think that would have made a massive difference. It's just to have a dad plugged in, connected with God, in the word, modeling, you know, here's all the do-nots, but here's the do. You know, connect with God. Show, you know, have a I want them to see daddy praying every day and in his word every day, and they're seeing it, and they're recognizing and they're seeing a model of this is this is what I do. You know, you're doing a good job of telling me what not to do, right? And here's my big list of all the things I'm not to do. But here's what's more important is my do, how to love, how to love God, and how to prioritize God in my life. And I I I could have done that better.

SPEAKER_04 37:27

I I I I would we see our son doing that really well with his son, so that's awesome. To learn from our screw up.

SPEAKER_08 37:34

And to be able to tell them. I told them I'm sorry, I disconnected, and I'm encouraging them when I'm encouraging you. Plug in, model this to your children.

SPEAKER_04 37:41

Be super involved with your kids, which I see all of you doing that. So, you know, and thank you for the same.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

When you're depriving them of technology, have something in place you know, you just can't leave a void there. Um, not that you have to be a helicopter parent, but they have to have alternatives.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

Um audio books and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 38:04

You know, deprivation from the very beginning really is important, you know. Yeah, our our grandkids, at least most of them, they don't have they don't even notice they don't they don't know what they don't have.

SPEAKER_04 38:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

So if the if they're not allowed to have phones, they know what it is, but because they've never had it in their lives, it's not something they particularly miss. So but I'm sure there will come a time when they're on their teens.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

Keep them busy. It looks like you all are doing a good job about keeping your lives busy, doing other things besides screens.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

Yeah, yeah. But I think the main message is don't be passive about it, you know, just take charge. Yeah, you're the adults in the world.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

I I'd like to share a resource of a book by a sociologist named Jonathan Height. He is not a Christian, not a necromarcist Christian, but he is a kind of scientist. Anyway, Jonathan wrote a book called The Anxious Generation. And I I listened to it. Um, and the reason I recommend it is because he first of all talks about what's going on, why people, children, get into this, and then he makes some very positive recommendations. The one thing that stuck with me is that he would not allow any anybody to have a phone in their own before the age of 13. Yeah. Yeah. And he he points out that there are many apps that have an age in their own, um, but also points out that the children are very at getting around those. Yeah. But I I I would recommend it's not Christian, you know, but it does have some, I think, very practical applications. And it helps us understand some things, even if it's not biblical. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:54

I just heard he has a one geared towards kids, also this it's something something else generation, but it's like a positive for them. But I don't remember you know what the same guy? Yeah. Oh one geared towards kids. That one's for adults, but yeah. Well, good.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

There's resources for all something generation.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Which we pointed out. We can look it up. Yeah. Yeah. All that internet stuff is leaky. You know, security is leaky. There's kids no ways around it.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

I think a lot of these, you know, these big organiz organizations have tons of resources for you all now of how to navigate non-stop changes in technology with your kids. You know, from focus on family to family life today to a million, you know, you guys do have re that's one thing we you had to actually go to the library and check stuff out to to read up on children. But it's almost too much information. Yeah, it's like which book should I go to? So it is good to get recommendations because to narrow it down.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

And I think you did need to develop a parenting network too. You know, you know, in our day was if they're going overnight, okay. What movie are you guys gonna show? Well, he can't go to that, you know, or something. Yeah. Now, same thing. Doing it overnight? Well, you gotta check what's their tech gonna do? What are they gonna be doing?

SPEAKER_04 41:14

And for gaming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

I came up here and parents will tell you, oh now we're gonna, you know, last a week.

SPEAKER_04 41:22

Gaming thing was on here. So I can't. There's gaming on here? There was gaming on here when I came in here last week.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Figured it out. So um, this is your homework assignment.

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Um create a family technology plan.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

Yeah. And intentionality.

SPEAKER_04 41:39

Can I have one for sense?

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Thank you. Phil, do you want one? No, thank you. You've got Gail online, right?

SPEAKER_04 41:49

Real in, read.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

That was a good show.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

And then this this this is a real helpful article that I found too. I can't do all this without the internet. So, you know, we we we don't want to condemn everything that's out there because there's a lot of technology is is neutral. It's our desires that are other people's desires that are.

SPEAKER_04 42:16

It definitely affects their development. You guys know that, right? How it ruins their brain cells. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 42:24

We had a book about that called Kids Brains and Screens. Yeah. And it's how my oldest son has read part of it, how there's like a sinister motivation behind the internet and gazing and the addiction and what it does. Yeah. It's like a it's like a drug, totally.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

The drug and there seems to be, I don't know if they've had a hard correlation between um uh like autism and early screen time, and what I don't know if that's a hard thing yet, but there seems to be some sort of correlation. Really terrible for children, yeah. Um, and I I the I think the even good screen time.

SPEAKER_04 43:01

I I I listened to a psych a study from a secular person too who was saying that it's really detrimental to be putting kids on screens in educational, like you know how schools now everybody's on a tablet or whatever. That kids, it's terrible for their teaching. I know you probably homeschoolers know this, and that that kids need one-on-one verbal connection with somebody, or I mean, they're like this is the first generation, I forgot which generation you're talking about, but they're saying that is less their IQs are lower than the one prior. They've been going up and now they're lowering. And that's all a result of this stuff. And that kids should be taught more paper, and like the schools that are doing that where they just flap on the front of that, it they're not it's affecting their brain development. The COVID kids, they were they didn't go to classroom. There's so much study on that.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

It's not a subscreen, right? It's on the what is it, the something page uh right. And and you know, he'll show me your work. Well, you know, the kind of guess and put it uh not the right answer. And so he's putting it in until he gets the right answer. It's like you have to learn anything yet. Anyway, um, so the uh the screen times here, I thought that was interesting, you know, uh controlling your screen time. And and this comes from the American Association of Child Psychologists.

SPEAKER_04 44:36

Oh, so this is like a secular study.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

Yeah, so I thought that was pretty good, you know, just limit screen time is screen time, whether it's educational or or not. Um so and it looked fairly conservative to me, so I thought that was good. Um the media plan and and uh I I like the Ten Commandments of screen time. That might be something you want to incorporate into your your technology plan. Um and you know, social media, I I don't know, but the older they get, the worse it is for them, I think. So um, you know, Tammy was teaching for a number of years, she refused to get a Facebook page, you know, she was not online anywhere because all it takes as a kid to take a picture of you in class and put it together with something else, and and suddenly, you know, you're you're fired. You know, they they can make them look pretty bad if they want to, you know. Um and uh mislabeling things, and if she posted something, if they posted it on her Facebook page, right? Well, now it's your part of your history too. So um, you know, when I get it, when I when somebody applied for a job at my little store, I'd like to see what they're the uh online you know posting or what were they saying online. And I think all companies do that now, yeah. I just post me out of that alternatives to speak to you. Yeah, so so I thought this was a good article right through that.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

So that's great. Yeah, thank you for all this info. This is good.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Yeah, yeah. Well, I put it in addog point. Yeah, you don't have things.

SPEAKER_04 46:27

I like it in this class. This is so great, John. You did a fabulous job with this.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

At some point, we'll make do it again, you know.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

Yeah, get the next wave of parents.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

So um, did I give it a homework assignment two weeks ago? Oh, that's why I'm gonna follow it up for my one of my other homework assignments.

SPEAKER_04 46:48

Today's the last class. Today's the last class, yeah. Next week's Father's Day.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Oh, uh uh um the family tradition. Did anybody start a new family tradition?

SPEAKER_04 46:59

Oh starting this week? Family tradition. New family tradition.

SPEAKER_07 47:08

Not the ones from this, huh?

SPEAKER_04 47:10

Well, that's the wrong kind of tradition. That's the one you don't want to start with.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

Well, today you have a freebie. It is flag day today.

SPEAKER_04 47:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

So as a family, go put up a flag someplace.

SPEAKER_04 47:21

Yeah, we were married on flag day. You can make that up. We didn't have any flags, we should have. We didn't realize it. What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_06 47:28

As long as it wasn't a white flag, but you want to cry us out? Rick's around. I need to find it well.

SPEAKER_08 47:40

Okay. Let's pray. Lord, we are so thankful and so grateful that you are the perfect father, that you teach us how to parent, that you parent us, you guide us, you lead us. Father, may we love and serve our children the way you love and give to us and model to us. May we reflect Christ in our homes with each other and with our children. God, they're yours, they're your children. Father God, we just pray. I pray for all the children that are represented by these parents here. Father, keep them, keep them in your way, and we pray, God, they would uh that you would draw them to Jesus early and that they would uh be held fast by the Savior in whose mighty name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 48:26

That's an allusion to all the sins. Okay.