Abby is Back, Social Graces, One Flesh and Giving back

Most people overlook the unspoken social rules that keep relationships smooth and drama-free. Think don’t interrupt, respect personal space, and don’t pressure someone into drinking. But if you’re like me, some of these are harder to master than a sourdough starter!

In this cheeky episode, Abby and Amy unpack the social etiquette no one officially taught you—yet everyone expects you to know. From the art of saying “no” without an explanation, to why ghosting might actually be a kindness, this convo is packed with real-world tips and laughs. You’ll discover how small gestures like ending conversations gracefully or respecting boundaries can transform your relationships—whether at work, at parties, or in everyday life.

We also dive into the deeper meaning behind becoming “one flesh” in marriage—how God’s design for partnership is about support, intimacy, and not tearing apart what’s glued together. Plus, a healthy reminder not to take everything personally when the world feels a little off.

Perfect for anyone navigating the tricky waters of today's society or thinking about lifelong vows, this episode will upgrade your relationship game while cracking you up. Because sometimes, the best social lesson is just knowing when to say “thank you,” and maybe even when to Irish goodbye without guilt.

So, if you’re tired of feeling awkward at social events or curious about the spiritual side of relationships, press play. Your new social handbook—and a few laughs—await!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We got a special guest today. Say hello. Hi. It's Abby. We usually do the episode with you in March, but we missed Mark's this year, so you're here in April.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hi. What exciting things have you been up to?

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Um, I've been endeavoring into grandmother activities at the sweet old ripe age of 17. What what what? I've been making sourdough and embroidery and quilting, and I have not had this much joy in a very long time.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Well, that's good. I know your brother and your father and I are enjoying the sourdough quite a lot. Yeah, that makes me happy. Hi, welcome to Newcase Podcast. My name is Amy, and I'm here with my daughter. Abigail. Abigail. All right. So today I thought we would do something a little bit different because you and I were doing kind of like home ec etiquette classes for a while this last semester. And so I found this social rules no one talks about. And so I thought we would go through them and I you could tell me your thoughts on them. Okay. All right. So don't interrupt while someone's speaking. Seems easy enough, right? Don't overshare at the first time meeting someone. How do you do with that? You know so well. Well, yes. That's okay. Uh so don't force someone to explain no.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

That makes sense. Yeah, no is a complete sentence.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yes. I will say this is a big one for me because I have had people in the past where I say, like, I can't do this or I can't do that, and then they want like a dissertation of why I can't so they can solve all the problems for me. And I I really just want to say no. No is my boundary. All right. Compliment in public and correct in private. Yep. Yep. Absolutely. Um, let's see. Uh keep your word, even small ones. Yep. That is big. Like, you're only as good as your word. Never ask about someone's salary or age.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Yeah. I feel like right now, because I'm a teenager, like, well, I'm a teenager in college, so you better be asking about someone's age. You're like, you're not 21. I feel like there's probably like an age limit. Like once somebody exceeds the age of maybe 25, then it's no longer like common courtesy be like, oh, what's your age?

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

So it's like common courtesy not to.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

All right. Um text back if you care. I yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

I was literally struggling with that yesterday because I texted in my mind like three different people and never responded to them.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

What do you think about my texting habits?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

I feel like they're pretty good. I feel like you're developing into the age where half the time you leave me undelivered, and then the other half of the time you just send me Facebook reels.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Or I respond back seven hours later after we've already had the conversation and seeing each other a person like 10 times. All right. Don't pressure anyone to drink. I think that's a good rule. Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's just, I don't know. It's something about like pressuring someone into drinking points out like a flaw in yourself, like a almost a type of insecurity that you want someone to participate in what you're doing so you can feel better. And that's not always a good way to go about that.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Yeah, I would agree. I'd agree. All right. Um, don't stare. It's unsettling. You sure about that?

SPEAKER_02 3:59

So staring. Just just stare at them in different fonts. Like you can do like super wide eyes. Yeah, you don't look crazy. But that was like Suave, like no.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Still uncomfortable. Still unsettling. All right. Oh, here's a good one for you, Abby. Respect personal space without being told. Not a chance.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

It's like I will respect people's personal space. I need to give you like an invitation in my mind to be able to like touch me. Hold my hand. And once I have, then you no longer have personal space.

unknown 4:41

Well.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Say goodbye when you leave. Oh, I'm bad at this one. I am a big fan. Yeah, I'm a big fan of the Irish Dubai.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Parties, church, Irish Dubai, it all. I love, I love sometimes when we'll be in celebrate recovery, and you will Irish goodbye everybody else. And then turn off the lights so people know to get out. And you're trying to be so nice about it, like saying anything. So you just turn off the lights.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

But I I don't mean to. It's just I my brain has moved on to the next part of what I need to do. And so that's why I Irish goodbye everyone in every game. I even Irish goodbye when I go to bed at night. Exactly. Yes, you do. And you make us come see you. Oh, you ready for the last one? Yes. Okay. So the last one is don't take things too personally.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Yeah. Yeah, I know. I was actually having a conversation about that with a friend last night. Just about like it, it's hard for humans to realize it's like not all about us. But like he was like, I need to give space to a friend. And I don't want her to take that the wrong way. It's just like specifically going to a party. And she's like, I love to wander around parties by myself. So I don't like, you know, being attached to one person the entire night. And I don't know how to tell her, like, I just need a little bit of space without hurting her feelings. Cause it's nothing to do with her. It's just I love that's how I love to spend parties and not taking that personal.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Well, yeah, because I think the thing is is very seldom does ever have to do with us. And, you know, I think we kind of live in our own heads. So we believe that everything that happens is like happening to us or because of us, but rarely that's ever the case. And so just giving people a little bit of grace and space and time when it comes to, you know, being offended. Yeah. Save your offenses. There's plenty of things to be offended about. Well, I thought tonight, instead of just doing one verse, we're going to kind of look at a concept. Um, and it's a concept we talk about a lot because, you know, you're 17 and you're moving into that stage where you're seriously dating and one day thinking of getting married. And so I wanted to talk about really the importance of when God gives Eve to Adam and they become one flesh, and how God demonstrates that later. So the first verse that we're looking at here, it's in Genesis 2, 23. It says, The man said, This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, and she shall call, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. And the idea of like we will leave our parents and become one flesh with ourselves. So now, where I saw this that I thought was really cool to kind of talk about it, is in Job. So fast forward to Job chapter one, and this is in verse 12. The Lord said to Satan, Very well then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger, meaning you cannot touch the flesh of Job. Also, that meant his wife. So everything was taken from him, his livelihood was taken, his children, his ten children were taken from him, all of his servants were taken from him, his oxen, everything he had was taken, his wife remained. And because the devil could not touch Job's flesh, and his wife was part of the part of it, he was bone of his own, flesh of his flesh. And what I also think is interesting to you is when you fast forward, right, into chapter two, and basically the enemy says, Well, yeah, but if you let me touch his sleff, then that point he'll give in, right? And so there we see that Satan goes back down and he afflicts Joe with boils, right? But what also happens? His wife turns on God too. Yep, exactly. So in chapter two, verse nine, his wife said to him, Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die. And I think it's one of those things that you see a lot of people give Joe's wife a really hard time in that saying, you know, oh, she should never submit to him. She should have been able to, you know, encourage him and guide him. But the thing was, is the moment that Satan was allowed to was allowed to touch his sleth, right? That he was allowed to go down and lay a hand on his sleth, then that meant he could also infiltrate the womb. And I think that's such a big deal because you don't realize a lot of people don't realize the role that a man takes in that when a man compromised, his wife can be compromised too. And also understanding that as well as like, you know, the importance of uplifting our husbands and and being a support to our husband is because like their downcall is our down is that. What are your thoughts on all that?

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Yeah, no, it reminds me a lot with like um there's a couple different things. So I think consciously, we as we come to Christ, and especially in relationships, marriage enormously, is Ephesians 5, 20 through 23. If I believe if I think it's the right verse, and it's the husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and treat her as you would your own body. And so, like when that you come to that, then you see like there's an actual action there to be taken that she's part of you. But then also if you look at the actual physiological effects of becoming one flesh, like God created us in a way that we have hormones that will make us become one flesh with the person we're married to. It's oxytocin, you know, and bonding hormones and these things that will make us one flesh with the right person. That is, you know, obviously we're not attached by the hip like physically, but then consciously and psychologically, we are. That's it also applies to so many different things with, you know, becoming one flesh and like your schedules. Your schedules are now online, the people you hang out with, all these different things. But I mean, broad spectrum, when it came to Joe, like that makes so much more sense. And, you know, with Eve and where she came from was the writ. And it was meant to hold up Adam. It didn't come from his foot or his head not to be above Adam or to be trampled by him, but to support him. And so when uh Satan was able to take that from him, that must have felt crippling.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

When I think about that one flesh and you look at the world as it is today and you see the divorce rates, right? And it's well over 50%. I think it's somewhere like 64% of all marriages end in divorce, which is it's it's heartbreaking. And you think about when you become one flesh with someone, when you marry them, you know, you eat that one flesh, that emotional and spiritual bond, you have adhered yourself together. It's actually a joining a flesh. And when to try to separate that, whether it's either the wife or the husband trying to separate it, or someone else coming into marriage and trying to separate, whether it be, you know, another, a friend or an extramarital affair, or even other parts of the family trying to separate that, that realization of like if two things are glued together, have you ever tried to pull apart two things that are glued together? Do you either one of them end up unstayed? You have to tear them apart, and both of them are marred forever. There's a wound that's created from that. And I think if there's this a strong understanding before the marriage takes place of this is what it means to be a wife, this is what it means to be a husband, and this is what it means to be one flesh. Then the idea of tearing that apart would be so far from the front of someone's mind the minute marriage becomes apart. Exactly. Because it is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, awesome, Abby. Well, last week your dad talked about give. Was there anything that stuck out to you that kind of like maybe was something that, you know, just triggered a thought in your mind of like, oh, I needed to hear that tonight?

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Yeah. Honestly, just that it's better to give than to receive. And I heard it once that it was the most selfish thing you can do is serve others because it'll fill up your cup.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah, that is. That's really good. That's really good. So thanks, Abby, for joining. This was fun. Lots of laughter, lots of good advice. You're very wise beyond your year to well. If you guys want more of us, you can check us out on Facebook at Celebrate Recovery at Emmaus Road. You can join us every Monday night at Emmaus Road Community Church in Laramie. And you can come back here every almost every Thursday for another episode of New Creation Podcast. Until then, we're thinking of you guys or praying for you, and we will see you next time. Goodbye.