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Coco Off the Grid
Let's go off the grid and get silly with today's headlines, work dramas and the unexplainable actions of others.
Close your blinds, shut off your lights and put your phones on airplane mode because it's time to join me for another episode of "Coco Off the Grid."
Coco Off the Grid
From Ants to Intimacy
Dealing with a bug invasion has turned into an unexpected obsession! From my daily work routine handling casework over tedious calls to battling ants and researching insects, life has been anything but dull. Join me as I share insights into family dynamics, particularly a heartfelt conversation with my grandmother about her birthday and the frustrations of managing chronic conditions with inadequate health insurance. We'll also be discussing relationships and intimacy issues and their complexities from social media posts. Whether it's dealing with a partner's infidelity, navigating the emotional fallout, or finding humor in the universe's quirky matchmaking, we cover it all. Together, we'll navigate these personal anecdotes and musings, all while introducing you to your new nickname—beanies or beanie babies!
If you like this show and all it's shenanigans, please feel free to give a follow over on Twitch and Tiktok (it's more of this!)
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What's up, my little beans? I think I'm gonna start calling you guys beanies, um, or beanie babies, which I think is hilarious, but I think I'm gonna have to start giving you as a nickname for listening. Um, I think, thursdays, I'm gonna start recording during the day, because I'm home for work and I basically have very, very lackluster with my work. I'm very caught up on everything and my manager basically just gives me casework to do to stay off the phones, because that's boring as fuck to me and that's not where my strong suit is. I mean, I'm more than capable of being on the phone with clients. I just don't want to, because inbound calls are stupid and boring and I get bored very quickly at work and boring, and I get bored very quickly at work. Um. So I wanted to talk a bit about addictions, I guess.
Speaker 1:Uh, everybody has an addiction in some way or another. Right now, my addiction is fighting with these fucking ants. Um. Surprisingly enough, though, the day that I recorded last time, I only saw two, and now we're down to seeing zero. There's a whole bunch of dead ones on the window. So, which is fine, fuck it, whatever, but I don't see any new boys. I don't see any new dead boys on the couch, on the carpet couch. What the fuck? I can't speak English today. I honestly also don't think I took any notes to be recording today. Yeah, no, I have nothing.
Speaker 1:I have realized, though that, back to addictions, I think another addiction I had besides well, I wouldn't say addiction these ants have caused quite an obsession with looking up a lot of insect trends, I guess of insect trends. I guess what I mean is is that, you know, I'm looking up all this information on bugs and trying to figure out and diagnose what they might actually be. I have no idea. I don't even know if carpenter ants are seasonal, because it says they're more active when it's warm out, because they look for, you know, a place to live and something to eat, which is what we basically do. So we're kind of like ants, but at least we don't fuck in public on someone's window Like I'm telling you. When I say that there was a bug orgy, that's exactly what the fuck it was. It was just a pile of ants in between my window and screen, and the funny part is is I hadn't started seeing them until mid-July. So it's like where the fuck did they come from and why are they deciding to try and come in here, because when I cook food you can smell the food and they don't come for that. They come at night, I guess to have sex, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I have been noticing other addictions around me. I have also noticed some crazy shit about favoritism. That makes me laugh. My grandmother's birthday is tomorrow, so let's just say happy birthday to her really quick. I don't know how old she is. I sent her an edible arrangement. It came, but there's a hole in the fucking balloon. So there's that. There's that. That feels terrible. I don't think she cares about the balloon as much as she cares about the stuff that was in it, because snacks, um God, where's it going with this? Oh yes, it's my grandmother's. I was going with favoritism, that's right.
Speaker 1:So I was talking to my grandmother this morning and she chooses to vent to me about silly stuff. We were talking about insurance and, speaking of insurance, I've dropped my job's insurance because it is shit. I have asthma. It's a chronic illness. I've had it for my entire life and I will continue to have it, probably to my last breath. So, with that being said, anything can trigger me Any allergies, weather, exercise, like overexerting myself. I'm done for. So I cannot afford to be paying out the ass for insurance that doesn't cover my appointments. Let's say this, for example so I cannot afford to be paying out the ass for insurance that doesn't cover my appointments.
Speaker 1:Let's say this, for example so I had a sore throat that had me out of work for two days because I legit could not speak, had a virtual appointment under this fucking insurance, which was it's Aetna. So you would think it'd be really good, false. I had this appointment with that doctor. She diagnosed me, she prescribed she didn't prescribe medication, because it just looked like a, just a really bad cold. I'd never felt like that before, though, like I wasn't out of breath or anything, but I literally had no voice, like I would open my mouth to speak, and it'd be like I'm a fucking mute. So, had the appointment, I paid something towards it, like 20 bucks, 20 bucks or so, wasn't sure how much it was actually going to charge me, but you know, as a leap of faith or whatever what is it Good faith I gave some money. So, of course, once that visit is all said and done, I get, after it's been processed, through my payroll. I still owe $120 on that visit because I hadn't met my deductible yet on that visit. Because I hadn't met my deductible yet, I would never meet that deductible.
Speaker 1:With how little I go to doctors I'm also definitely not to I'm definitely not going to, you know, keep paying into insurance. That doesn't work for me. So I don't go to the doctors often enough. But I need a plan that charges a copay, one guaranteed amount I am to pay when I see a doctor. Preventive visits are zero. Okay, I understand that. But like, and the physician I see on campus quote, unquote at my job she's good too. I don't even pay a copay to see her.
Speaker 1:But like, my problem is that when I fucking go to the doctor, if I'm sick, I have to pay $145 because I have not met my deductible, which is whatever. I don't make enough money. Honestly, with all the bills I pay, to pay $145 every time I'm sick. Okay, on top of whatever I have to pay for prescriptions, it treats the fucking prescriptions better than it treats my visits. Isn't that ridiculous? So then I'm paying $111 out of my paycheck, every paycheck, for $25 of an HSA, $50 for a health plan and what else Another.
Speaker 1:Like, no, I'm paying more. It's 111 per paycheck. Is what I'm paying in benefits. I don't know how much it is broken down. Let me just double check because I could pull that information up. Not worth it, in my opinion. So let's see Where's this fucking thing at. I'm going to look at one of my paychecks real quick so I can laugh at myself. Sign in with face ID. Sign in with face id, let's go. Here we go. Adp is like the slowest fucking review. Pay statement, let's say view state. Oh, I don't want to view statement. God damn it. I did the wrong thing. So benefits all right. So check this out. So my dental is 22, my hsa employee contribution is 25, medical is 58, 58 and vision is 5.93. So at the end of the day, I'm looking at 111.87 out of each fucking paycheck. I am no longer paying that as of Tuesday. Okay, so I have money saved on my HSA card.
Speaker 1:I went back on the exchange. Um, I said that you know I lost my insurance as of that day and need insurance starting September 1st and I got into a really good plan. I have a plan that charges $20 straight for a copay for a PCP, 80 for a specialist. I don't even ever go see a specialist cause my shit's not that deep Zero for preventative and $3 for prescription drugs. Okay, so it might be less for generic who the fuck knows.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing. My grandmother now told me that she is in a donut hole in her plan, so I had to look up what that is. So, after telling my grandmother the bullshit insurance I have with a financial institution like ADP and how their insurance sucks because I guess they expect nobody to get sick, but I don't have enough money to be contributing more to an HSA than $25. And my employer gives $25 as well. It matches 100%, which is whatever. So I had the money on my HSA card, so I paid off whatever balance I owed to the previous doctor and I paid my um premium for my first month.
Speaker 1:For all of my insurances which I got, I didn't get a bundle. I got medical through one provider, dental through another and vision through another, because the vision was even lack, more lackluster than the fucking medical. So I'm like, no, I'm not doing this second rate shit. So I Googled what a donut hole is. What is this? Hang on, let me see Donut with insurance. So what it says is let me see this here Most plans with Medicare because, as you see, has a tertiary, I think, or her, prescription plan.
Speaker 1:Most plans with Medicare prescription drug coverage, part D, have a coverage gap called a donut hole. This means that after you and your drug plan have spent a certain amount of money for covered drugs, you have to pay all costs out of pocket for your prescriptions up to a yearly limit. So my grandmother told me that one of the medications she actually needs is like 400 and something dollars for 90 days, and I was like no fucking way. So she decided to split it up into monthly. Um. So I was like, yeah, that sounds like the best plan ever, but it's still like $150 still. So we were discussing insurances and all that shit.
Speaker 1:And what's funny is that, you know, I had sent her an edible arrangement which looks like it came with four strawberries covered in chocolate white, white chocolate, I think milk chocolate and then there was, um, what looked like two little cheesecake bites, um, probably covered in white chocolate. Also, it looked like, with that being said, excuse me, I had to take a sip of something. With that being said, my cousin has this thing that he likes to bring up to my grandmother, saying that I'm the favorite. Now I laugh because that's never been stated to my face, like that's never even been a conversation my grandmother and I have had where she's chosen me as a favorite. He just thinks I'm a favorite because she helps me, or she used to help me with certain things when I was in a financial you know hitch, and apparently she's a lot more strict guess with them with money.
Speaker 1:But anyway, the funny part is is that you know, do your part as a grandchild. Okay, that's your blood. You're supposed to acknowledge their birthdays. You're supposed to send them either a card or a gift or something or like, just do something to prove that you're still related to this person. Like he's very lackluster with family. He didn't even apologize to my mother for the shit he pulled for her birthday where he forgot it was her birthday, even though she raised him like he was her son. And I'm kind of just. You know I'm still pissed off about that, because if that woman raised you, you fucking acknowledge her birthday when it happens, or you at least ask one of us when her birthday is, because at least ask one of us when her birthday is, because at least it shows you care.
Speaker 1:So his thing now is that I'm the favorite grandchild. So I texted her and I was like, so, considering I'm the favorite, did uh, your other grandson, vidal, get you anything? And she was like, nope. She was like, hopefully a text or a call tomorrow. And I'm like, oh shit, even my sister is spending the night with her. Tomorrow my sister that lives in Queens is going to go to my grandmother's and spend the night, like, just do something. And he wonders why. You know why he has that as like some guilty conscience shit. Why aren't you doing anything for your family? I don't even see this motherfucker and I live around the corner from him and it's not even him who talks to me. It's his wife, nikki, who I should be calling her my cousin, but I'm just not familiar with that. Like I saw them at my mom's house.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I mentioned this, but, of course, when I was at my mom's house for my sister's graduation, I took off Wednesday, thursday the graduation was Wednesday. I spent the night in a hotel room Wednesday night. Thursday, I went back over there for like a barbecue for the entire day and he surprised all of us by showing up with all his kids and his wife. So, whatever, he shows up, and I was ready to fucking bounce because he's a piece of shit to me. And I don't think he's a piece of shit, but he treats me like I'm one. So he basically like ignored me.
Speaker 1:I guess I think maybe we discussed a couple of things or maybe we talked at each other. I don't remember. But it, me and him will never have the same relationship as we have when we were kids, and that's fucking fine. But if he gets invited somewhere and I know about it beforehand, I'm not going, cause I don't really feel like being put in an awkward situation, like legitimately wanted to leave as soon as he showed up to my mother's house and my mother was like, are you okay? And I'm like I'm fine, all right, but I don't feel like staying here all day. If he's gonna be here all day, and again, I don't have a problem with him.
Speaker 1:He has a problem with me, in which he acts like I'm another wall in a house, like talks through me, talks past me, looks past me. Whatever I play with his kids, he didn't say nothing to me, it's whatever. I'm moving past that because that's so negative and that's not what I'm trying to do today. Um, what else that I want to talk about? Oh, addictions right. So we're back to that. So I guess his addiction is being pissed off at me. Who knows, maybe a fuel something? Um, anara is so fucking cute, his daughter. I was holding her the whole time and she was playing and laughing and giggling with me. So adorable, I can't wait to have my own. So my next addiction that I've noticed is my boyfriend has an addiction to making money, which I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 1:But sometimes I feel like overstimulated after work and I feel bad when I tell him you know, I don't want noise or whatever, but I just I try and be really nice about it and I just try and stay in my headphones, but I feel like I get overstimulated really fast after work because I go from listening to chit chat and bullshit all day to come home and hear more chit chat and I love him to death. Okay, nothing makes me happier than having him home with me during the week. But sometimes I need some quiet, like I'm overstimulated, I need to decompress, like, yes, hi, I love you, work was all right. Then I need like time to just not say anything. I've talked all day. I've heard people talk to me all day.
Speaker 1:I love you, but like, sometimes I don't I don't know how to say it without sounding like an asshole Like he's gotten into these card breaks things lately and, like I said, I love him to death and sometimes it's great, sometimes he has a really good day. It's worse for me to see him disappointed when he puts himself out there and doesn't get any like traction, like he tried to do something at the end of the day, tuesday, and he got people coming by, I guess, and I think maybe he sold the box, I don't remember, but it was just it's, it's. It makes me a little sad because it's like I don't know why you keep doing this, because you know sometimes it gets you someplace. Sometimes it doesn't like just keep track of days that work and it just seems like Saturdays and Sundays work. He makes the most money on the weekends, but during the day on the weekends, not at night because everybody's doing something else during the evening.
Speaker 1:But I just like I look around and I sit around and I'm like I hear him in the background and I'm like he's trying his hardest and like it's very hard to start out doing something like that. I even told him. I'm like you know, I feel like you know, when wives were on the sidelines of like Albert Einstein, when people thought he was crazy for trying to do what he did, or anyone who tries to start up a business on their own, and you know they, uh, they really do try their hardest and, um, you know, you just sit on the sidelines and you watch and you hope that they succeed. But it's like you watch failure after failure and you get sad, like not for them, but you just get sad about the situation, like, damn man, I wish something would happen, like I wish something would pop off for him, like that's how I feel. So that's why sometimes I get a little mad when he does it, because I'm like, come on, you know, it's a weekday, it's not, it may not work out. Like we know, the trend for weekdays is pretty slim. Excuse me, taking another sip um, um, other than that, so that those are the addictions. I noticed, um, someone just messaged me and I'm not really paying attention to that message right now Cause I'm doing this I've noticed that a lot of people, a lot of girls, on Facebook have like the weirdest relationships and this goes back to those groups that I told you I was in Um those groups, that I told you I was in Um.
Speaker 1:Before I get to that, though, there's something else. Oh yeah, so here we go. So I was talking about this yesterday at work, right, I was in office, so I was talking about this yesterday at work. Now I've been in, been quote unquote in business with people who are bad business owners. We all know about Ben and his stupid salon. He's now apparently a real estate um, not real estate, broker but. And his stupid salon. He's now apparently a real estate um, not real estate, broker, but he helps sell properties. He's a I don't know what it's fucking called, I don't care. Um, he does that now on the side. I don't know how his business is flourishing. The chick, natalie I work with still goes to him and gets her hair done with him, whatever. Um, um, I will never, because he does not understand my hair type and he almost fucking ruined my hair with a fucking straightening treatment that I did not need.
Speaker 1:Um, what else? He drove, like all his good people, away. I think I was one of the last ones to leave. Um, yeah, because by that time, natalie had left already to pursue personal training. Um, lily had left to go, uh, go to college. She went back to school, but I think she quit way before then because she just couldn't deal with him. He drove away Daniel um, who I liked working with, who was a um assistant at the time. But he actually finished getting his license and I guess there was an issue with the contract I may have mentioned where they wouldn't edit um, he wouldn't change the mileage for the non-compete. So there was a non-compete agreement he wanted daniel to sign and I'm like that's probably because he's threatened and doesn't want to compete with anyone within the radius, which basically is just so. A non-compete is basically within a certain radius. The person cannot find another salon to work at, whatever. So, um, that was what he was trying to get daniel to sign and since he wouldn't change the radius of it, daniel decided not to go with it. So, uh, daniel quit, Daniel quit instead, which I was very happy for him, because I don't think someone should be subject to that, especially considering the fact that you know this is a negotiation piece for you.
Speaker 1:You're trying to build your business back up after someone else left you for being a druggie and, um, you're, you're losing people left and right, okay, and you could also be losing business left and right because of how you are and how bipolar you are, because he used to have some crazy episodes in front of us and in front of clients who would then talk to us about it, come in and do some videos and everything to help build up the website that he had going, and it was just a mess. Like he was all over the place. He had his hand in everything. He had to have a creative say in everything that was done, which I don't think was necessary, but what do I know? Um, what else? But okay, so back to being in business with people who are shitty business owners.
Speaker 1:I also used to work for someone, um, at the Donatella salon. Oh, bella Donna salon, excuse me, she, she was the owner there. She was a bitch. Um, she got mad at me because, uh, for me being a team player, instead of saying no to a perm, she got mad at me and she made me feel like shit and I was like you know what? I fucking quit and I walked out. Um, she said apparently I was giving her stomach pain, whatever, and I was like okay, well, if you saw that I was struggling, why, as a business owner, would you not say hold on to the person in your chair and come over and help me?
Speaker 1:That's what I'm thinking is because you know. You know I'm brand new out of school, you know that I might need some help with certain things, like you know, all of these things going into hiring me and instead of you know, just speaking up for me and being a person, you decided to just watch me flail as you fucking kept doing what you wanted to do. So it's like how can you be mad at me because I want to be a team player and I always want to be your yes person, so that you don't feel like you need to pick up the slack at any point, and then, when I need help, you don't help me, like that's my only thing is that you know if I see people needing help I've been in the business, I've been working for ADP for forever and I will always help somebody that needs help. I don't care who it is. It could be on my team, it could be off my team, it could be anybody in the fucking company needing my help. Uh, district manager, another manager from another team? Like, I always play ball, I'm always the person that they ask first, because my manager always comes to me and he goes. I think I have something that will be more in your wheelhouse if you want it, and I'm like sure, what is it? And it's always something that he knows that I will do. So I'm always helping. So I'll never understand how people in this day and age are just so not able to help people. It's what you're supposed to do. It's common courtesy from one human to another. You should help somebody, but whatever. So that's my work ethic. So right now I'm helping a teammate of mine get through some cases so that he can get his case count down and, um, let me see, I'm not dealing with this chick, she's, this chick is driving me fucking insane. Um, so there's that. So sorry, I lost my train of thought. So, okay, bad business. So there's Ben. Then there's fucking crazy pants from Bella Donna. Who else? Oh, um, oh, my, oh, great clips.
Speaker 1:Those two fucking bitches hired someone to replace me in front of my face, basically because my hours didn't work for them, even though they said in the beginning when they hired me, my hours worked for them because I was working a full time job and I only had time for a part time job and I wanted to get the experience in a salon so I could apply elsewhere and get a full-time position in a salon. But I wasn't going to do it in a place that's very lackluster with clients. So they replaced me in front of me and then I was like so you're basically telling me that I'm fired? And they're like well, you could stay and finish your shift or you could leave. And I'm like, well, I'm fucking out of here. And I packed up all my shit and left. And of course, I went to go pick up my last check and all of that, and they acted like I was going to light the place on fire. They didn't even take two looks at me. So that was fun too.
Speaker 1:So now I've come across another person who supposedly wanted to work with me not saying names, but they are working towards building their business to do head spa stuff and she's not licensed to do that. She would need a cosmetology license, which requires her to go back to school. So of course me you know being the friendly person that I am, and you know wanting to keep my hair chops and everything is like hey, I can help you after work. I mean, I have a full time job and this could be my part time hustle and you know, if I build up the clientele, maybe it'll become my full time hustle. And she was like, okay, cool, and we talked about a whole bunch of things and it's pretty much gone nowhere since February I mean since May. We're in August now, the first week in August and I have not heard anything about it since now, the first week in August, and I have not heard anything about it since.
Speaker 1:I honestly had a red flag moment with her because she was the person who I went to for sugaring and that's how we got into this conversation. I met her through my boyfriend, who's friends with her fiance, and I used to go to her. She was fantastic In the beginning and then, you know, of course, she told me the red flag situation was that she was in the emergency room yesterday, not yesterday, the day before my appointment with her and she decided to tell me the day of my appointment with her that she wouldn't be able to see me because she pulled something in her back and she was in the emergency room. Whatever, I don't believe she was in the emergency room late enough to uh to not be able to let me know that. But I'm not going to be that selfish and be like she should have fucking texted me.
Speaker 1:But the other thing is is that that's fine. If you say that you have an emergency, that you cannot work on me, that's fine, I have no problem with that. My problem is that you cannot work on me. That's fine, I have no problem with that. My problem is that you waited until the morning of, and then you make a general blanket statement saying hey, girl, I got hurt, I'm going to need to reschedule our appointment from this afternoon. I won't be able to see anybody. So I was like okay, cool.
Speaker 1:And then I had a whole conversation with her about what happened, because I'm nosy like that and just want to be sure she's all right, cause an emergency could mean plenty of things. And she goes oh yeah, you know, I didn't use the correct form when re-racking weights and I pulled something in my back. Bitch, this like pulled something in my brain. Okay, she pulled a muscle in my brain. So of course I go yeah, sure, no problem. Oh, I'm so sorry, you know, rest up, whatever. Have not heard from her since about rescheduling, and I think that was over a month ago now. So you mean to tell me that you don't really give a shit about my business because I was coming to you religiously and you had guaranteed money in your pocket from me Not that I'm the only person who sees her, but now you're not even like trying to reschedule with me. You're just letting me know that you couldn't see me that day. I'm not supposed to reach out to you as the customer to be like hey, when are you going to see me again If I want that money back? I'm going to reach out to my customer. So she should have, like, at least circled back with me, especially because we have some kind of relationship outside of her doing what she does for me.
Speaker 1:And then we did the head spa thing. I went for a demo. She asked me to bring a blow dryer and a brush in case the person wanted, like so she I could test out my blow drying skills. So I said, whatever, I brought all my shit. I was there with her for two hours. The person got the head spa stuff and no, she didn't want to fucking blow dry. Afterwards she left with a wet style. It's fucking florida, nobody needs a blowout after doing a head spa thing. So like, after all of that, I'm like either she's so.
Speaker 1:Then I asked her after the demo and the chick left. I was like, okay, so what is left for me to do? On my end she was like, oh, nothing. I have to meet with my accountant to discuss the paperwork and everything. And I was like, well, what's the hours here? And she goes the hours are whatever you make it. I don't know what the fuck that means. What are appropriate hours of business for you? You're the business owner. You could be here until 10 o'clock at night if you want to. I don't want to be here until 10 o'clock at night. So what should I be saying? My hours are. And then she's promoting me. She has my name on her fucking page. I'm about to tell her to take that down because I don't want this opportunity anymore. I'm waiting for her to fucking hit me up to ask me about it. And it's been three months, one demo in and three months and she's still doing head spa stuff, because I see it on fucking Instagram and everything.
Speaker 1:She's not licensed. Okay, she has people signing waivers, but she is is not licensed. She can get her license revoked. She will not be able to operate that business if she keeps doing it. I don't think she understands the severity of that. I think she just is under the assumption that people are just going to trust her because they've been going to her and that's it. But if she hurts somebody by doing something to their scalp that she shouldn't be doing, that's not good and I don't think she gets it. But that's fine.
Speaker 1:But I don't want to work for someone who's number one irresponsible with their license and number two is not good at communicating anything, because that's the problem that I keep coming across Nobody communicates shit Right, and I haven't been good at communicating either, but I'm in a relationship that's about to be two years in in September, so obviously I don't have a problem with communicating anymore. I'm 35. Okay, she's a year older than me, I think, or a year younger than me, excuse me, get it together, dude. You're a business owner that is like not floundering, but isn't in a good position to be doing this shit, especially because she's put money into renovating one space to be a spot where she does her consultations or where someone could do cut and dry, cut and blow dries anyway. So that's a decision I will have to make when I get there.
Speaker 1:But the reason why I brought that up is because me and a coworker had discussed it yesterday, and we also discussed that ADP needs to do more shit for their fucking employees Like the SSS. We have now told us that you know, they used to have personal masseuses, so they used to do like a spa day for their employees and she goes. They did that once when I was hired and they've never done it since, and I was like, well, that makes sense, because a lot of shit about this place was promised when you get hired and then it all falls apart. I just found out also that there's only a few people left in my new hire class um, me and four others in upmarket, and then there's like three other people in core. So I was laughing at that too, because a lot of them were getting, uh, getting fired for call avoidance, which I think is funny. Um sorry, I just read a Facebook post from my friend who's pregnant. Um, yeah, a lot of people were doing call avoidance. So when I asked what that meant, uh, my coworker said that it means that basically, they were pretending they were in meetings all day, when they were just sitting in a meeting room and not on a call with anybody. So that was hilarious. Like I don't get call avoidance because I'm told to put myself in aux for the rest of the day, like off the phone time. So I've never in trouble like that and if I ever was, I'm sure I've heard about it by now. Anyway, a week from today I won't be in this stank apartment anymore. So that's good, it's not stank, but I'm telling you the amount of bugs and dead bugs that have accumulated on the windowsills is crazy. There's also like a wasp's nest, according to my boyfriend, above the window. Um, so that's cool. Oh, my neighbor's.
Speaker 1:Finally playing guitar during an appropriate time is finally playing guitar during an appropriate time. I can hear it a little bit. So one day, one day, I had nobody living below me and the next day I did. So of course this motherfucker decides that 11 o'clock at night on a Monday. Well, 10 o'clock at night on a Monday is an appropriate time to play guitar plugged into an amp. So of course I fucking called I think I mentioned this. I called the courtesy um courtesy patrol, which never came. Then I complained to the leasing office and she took care of it, because for the rest of that week. I ain't hear shit. So I was like it can't just be bugs, it has to be bugs and this motherfucker. Now it's just this motherfucker because no bugs. But it's an appropriate time. It's daytime, I don't care how loud you have that.
Speaker 1:You could be interrupting my phone calls for the rest of the day, but anyway, I hate that it keeps showing that I'm idle. Stop, turn my bubble green. There we go. So I have to pretend that I'm active by keeping my bubble green for this workday. I'm telling you I'm not doing shit anymore. I'm getting a little too tired of doing too much. I'm getting a little too tired of doing too much. I'm helping a coworker with his cases. He's at 40. We're trying to get down to 30 by end of day tomorrow. So I've just been going through his whip. I've been going through my whip and it's just been hilarious. Um, but yeah, so far that's that's. That's basically it for this week.
Speaker 1:Um, I've been playing. I played atomic heart the other this past weekend. Weekend it gets interesting, but it's very tricky, like it puts me on edge, which is probably a good thing because it keeps me awake. Everything else I played has been putting me to sleep. Uh, yesterday I started playing graveyard keeper again. I'm hoping that you know something will hold my interest.
Speaker 1:It's really hard lately, um, really hard to be excited. Ow, fucking pimple on my face. Um, I have nothing going on. I can't wait to move, though I'm really stressed out about it. I think that's why I'm so tired. Uh, I'm really trying to just like not think about it, but it's going to be so much work because we're going from a, an apartment on the second floor, to an apartment on a on the third floor. I mean, I'm hoping these movers show up too, um, because I haven't heard since I booked them like a month ago. But I'm probably gonna reach out to them today to make sure everything is cool, um, but yeah, so far that's it. Uh, let me see if there's anything funny.
Speaker 1:I can read on fucking Facebook here what the hell's this? Really? Because you don't know how to open a can of soda yourself. There's something called a Dernadr I don't know what that is. Apparently, you use it to open. Nah, they're cute, though they're kind of cute. Early Halloween sale.
Speaker 1:Let's see what this shit looks like. All right, it's cute. It's cute, but it's not $10. Cute, I'm sorry. Um, whoever put this on shark tank should be shot. Uh, okay, let's go back to Facebook and stop looking at shit. I don't need. What is this? Oh, a patch for Sims. I still haven't put it back on my computer. Let me see. I don't know that I ever will, though, on this new joy anyway, let's see. Oh, oh, let's from this group. They're anonymous posts, so there's no names, so I don't think anyone can fucking, you know, get mad about this. It says long post with a bunch of dots.
Speaker 1:So my hubby cheated on me throughout our relationship and well, after he physically went to pick her up from an airport and get a room, it was my final straw. I broke down and stopped caring after he came back and told me he no longer wanted to discuss it or have it brought up. Long story short, I started talking to a guy through Facebook, but he was known in town and they didn't like each other, but it was only conversation at first. Well, a few weeks went by and he sent me nudes and I finally gave in and sent a nude pic and, over the few months, some selfies. Well, I finally told my hubby and he flipped out he won't drop it, but why he never let me bring it up all of his cheating episodes so I couldn't physically heal. He will post on his story privately stuff about me cheating where I can be the only one to view, but still it's been two years since I had spoken to the guy.
Speaker 1:Hold on, why would you do that? I feel like I'm drowning, since he's constantly bringing it up. I had I found a girl's pick in his phone and questioned it and he said I had no right to question him. Am I going crazy or am I wrong? I even offered to go to counseling, but he refuses. He wants to know which pick I sent the guy, but it was five years ago. I don't remember which pick I sent. I just remember it was when I sent him before that incident. Help, I'm so depressed that I feel like I can never come from this. Hey, how about you divorce him? You should have left him when he fucking cheated on you. What do you mean? What do I do?
Speaker 1:Someone said he sounds like a horrible person. To be honest gaslighting, manipulation, emotional mental abuse. You should leave if you're able to, for your sanity and future happiness. Nobody deserves that. First of all, no, so this girl goes. Tell him you don't want to hear about it any more about it. I've tried and he says because I can't remember what pick I sent. He can't get closure, but it was so long ago. Sounds like a him problem, not you. Send him 10 random nude picks and say you sent them all. It really makes no difference, it's just his way to manipulate and say you sent them all. It really makes no difference, it's just his way to manipulate and control you. And you're allowing it by entertaining this conversation. Look, just leave him. The first thing that start.
Speaker 1:The first line of this shit is so my hubby cheated on me throughout our relationship and then went to go pick the bitch up. You got me fucked up, super fucked up, super fucked up. Let's see, I, like this one, recently started sleeping with a new person. He's definitely blessed, but now I'm so sore. We didn't have any lubricant. The first two rounds were okay, but after the third I dried up a little.
Speaker 1:What can I use to heal down there? I was thinking maybe those pads they give you after birth, but red they're for hemorrhoids. Help, I want more of him, but I can't physically handle it at the moment. He's the first person I've slept with in over eight months and we had a great night. Someone put midwife hack Open a period pad, leave the sticky thing on and pour black tea over it until it's soaked, but not dripping all over, and then stick it in the freezer for a couple hours while it's still open and has that curved shape.
Speaker 1:Then stick it in your underwear. Someone said witch hazel. Someone else said I have a colonoscopy next week and I'm gonna do this with a pair of disposable underwear. For after what? The fuck man? Where are y'all finding these men? Witch hazel pads they give you after giving birth for hemorrhoids but will also work for discomfort down there. Organic coconut oil. Someone said I sat on a bag of frozen peas. For some immediate relief, you definitely need to use lube with a bigger. What the fuck? I hope they didn't cook those peas afterwards. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:Personally, when I wash with lady soap, it makes it go away real quick and obviously is pH safe. Someone said I truly hope you are never inserting soap that can cause all sorts of pH issues. Contrary to the marketing strategies a lot of companies use these days, no different than using a douche, it can and most likely will throw off your pH, which can lead to bacterial bacterial infections. I've heard of people using summer's eve going through this. Oh god, I just had this issue and talk with my pure romance lady about what I could use. Pure romance lady find a lubricant that is ph balanced and put it on all day. Oh, like avon, I'm like. What the fuck is pure romance?
Speaker 1:Someone goes I take my hat off to women who take facials, wondering if I'm the only woman in the world that hates the smell of semen. And they spelled semen S-E-M-I-N. What's that? What's semen? Is that different than semen S-E-M-E-N? That's crazy. Let me see what these comments are, though. Someone said I think it's disrespectful. I know it's a kink for some people, but that's just the way it is. The way it is. Feel you can't girl. Someone said agreed, I'm not getting paid. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Someone said I hate the smell as well as the taste. The response to that is take it down your throat, don't let it hit your tongue. These girls are nasty on this shit, bro. I love it so nasty I'm getting lady wood for these ladies. Oh, best friend wetness, excuse me, best friend wetness, I am wet for all these friends in here. If it smells bad and tastes bad, then he needs to work on his diet and hygiene. Oh man, someone said yeah, you got to swallow fast If it smells like bleach or something. I can never describe it. My one friend in high school said it tastes like Sprite. Mind you, that was back in 08. Someone said not Sprite. What the fuck, dude Sprite?
Speaker 1:Let's see my new fiance and I have a mutual friend. He dated her this spring for a bit, before we got together. Of course they hooked up. She really wants to quote unquote play with us. I'm not against the game itself, just worried about them rekindling things. Maybe silly of me, by the way, he's packing huge and is good at everything, with very high sex drive. I'd want to make him happy. What would you do? I have had a MWW threesome a few times before. He never has. Someone said I'm confused. He was just dating her this spring and he's already your fiance and y'all are trying to add her in for quote unquote play. Maybe slow down, since you guys are moving so fast already. Enjoy each other first and always make sure it's something you're 100% ready and comfortable with. Any doubts will lead to a backfire for you.
Speaker 1:So the girl responded with the person who posted said they worked together last winter, dated, hooked up for about a month or so never exclusive relationship. I've known him over a decade. We dated for about six months eight years ago. I left him when he wanted to get married back then, bitch, you want to get married to him now. What did you do to seduce that? What the fuck? That should be deleted. I see what the fuck does that mean. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I've never seen this. That's not a peach, that's an orange. Someone goes first post. What turns an orange emoji guy on. I'm fairly small, I have great boobs, but no butt. My guy's an ass guy. How do I keep his interest? First of all, figure out which emoji is the right one to use, because it's not a fucking orange. I think you need to step up your emoji game if I was you. That shit is wild. Is it fucking raining? It's fucking raining again. All right, it's Florida. I don't know what to expect.
Speaker 1:Someone said I've been single for about a year now and I finally found someone to have sex with. But I'm so nervous because I have a hemorrhoid, but I'm so embarrassed by what do I do? What do you? Do you have sex anyway? Someone says we're fully formed adults. Let that bad boy bounce. No one cares. Most of these don't even know when I dye my hair bright purple. Someone else said thank you, I needed a bright side to this. I'm just overly self-conscious to begin with, being overweight and haven't been with someone new in over 10 years, I can't help but overthink everything. Wow, it is pouring, pouring. I don't know if you can hear that shit. I thought that was a game, son. Well, let's see they're not playing with the hair dye, though. That's fucking for real.
Speaker 1:Someone said just wanted to say thanks for sharing, because I've had the same thoughts and concerns. I don't even know if it's something I should bring up prior or be like surprised. Listen to me, dude, when you're the question is when is he gonna be seeing it? Because he should not be making eye contact with your asshole while he's having sex with you, like there's plenty of other things where you can direct the eyes during sex from a man's perspective. I'm not a man, but I'm just letting you know that right now that if I'm hitting someone doggy style, I'm not looking, I'm not making eye to eye, I'm not locking eyes with the booty hole. Okay, I don't know who does. I will ask my boyfriend later. That will probably be in the next episode, maybe not, if I remember. So actually I might have to write that down as a follow-up question to report back.
Speaker 1:But if you have a hemorrhoid, just be you girl, just be confident. Like that's basically it. Let's see. Maybe they won't notice and I say nothing. Or they notice and have no idea what it is and think it's like a wart or something and because I didn't explain it, they think it's an STD and I never get a call back. Bro, that's such a long strain of crazy shit.
Speaker 1:Someone said girl, I've had mine since I was pregnant with my almost 17 year old Men don't care, you've had a hemorrhoid for 17 years. Girl, yes, it's definitely us women being super conscious about it. When I went to go get my tubes tied, my OB offered to remove it and then was like um, nevermind, because it's super painful to heal, so just leave it. Who cares? Okay, I'm sorry If, if I have a child and I have a hemorrhoid that a doctor offers to remove, I want my butthole looking pretty for the rest of my life Pretty as fuck butthole. Okay, I don't want to have to have this kind of conversation on Facebook. That's OD. You've had this for 17 years.
Speaker 1:Someone said yeah, and so the person who posted it goes yeah, I'm super aware of it because I haven't been with someone new in over 10 years and I'm worried about everything. First of all, 10 years is way too long. That shit is drier than the Sahara. It's drier than the sand from the fucking beetlejuice movie where that worm came out. Someone said witch hazel on a paper towel, apply it like a tampon and do it for three nights. Take it out in the morning every morning. Someone said oh shit, that's a good idea. Where do you get witch hazel? Walmart, dollar store, grocery store.
Speaker 1:Someone said got mine removed. It was no joke for a few days, weeks, but happy I did it. Nothing to do about it. Instead of accepting it or removing it, you could try to push it in a little bit, but it's still there. Someone said did they cut? So the person who posted goes did they like cut it off? Do you go under for this or is it just a numbing thing and you're awake for it? So the chick who posted about getting it removed says it depends if it grows from the inside or not. You'll have to go see a colon doctor to be sure, because it always looks only on the outside most of the times, and they did put me under for it. I also thought they'd just cut it off, put a stitch or two and done. But no, it's personal. So see a colon doctor just to be sure and get all the information on your body and then you can decide. But overall I'm really happy they're gone because I was ashamed as well.
Speaker 1:Someone else said this can be an extremely painful surgery and recovery. I've had this done several times and honestly, if it's just one and doesn't hurt, then it's not worth it at all. Someone says oh, who cares? Just put some lidocaine on it and keep it moving. Someone then asked are hemorrhoids permanent? I thought they go away. It's google time for me, I guess. I'm so curious I'm removing it. I'm sorry, that's way too long. I've been single for about a year now and I finally found someone to have sex, but I'm so nervous because oh okay, it's that chick with the hemorrhoid fucking crazy. There are probably puddles deeper than this question, but I can't be the only one that ponder shit like this.
Speaker 1:Do y'all think the universe would send you a twin flame with a shrimp penis Like one that's just too small for you? Would the universe be like? I said he's the other half of your soul and he has a tongue. Stop complaining. That's a good question. I like the emojis. This chick needs to school that other chick with the orange. That's hilarious. The man who I've had the deepest connection with fits me in like a key that was made just for me.
Speaker 1:Someone said maybe I don't care, as long as he learns my body well enough to make me calm. Someone said yeah, but Deep Dish cares a lot, miss Deep Dish, oh shit. Again. If he can make me come, I don't care how big the stick is. I'm not going to be less satisfied because it wasn't a big dick that did it. That's me, though. Besides, I don't have a deep dish and the chick goes love that for you.
Speaker 1:Someone said I personally don't believe in twin flames. But if I did, and that shrimp isn't the ideal that for you. Someone said I personally don't believe in twin flames, but if I did and that shrimp isn't the ideal size for you for some people it is then I would say, nope, the universe would not send you that twin flame soulmate, etc. Honestly, I felt like my ex was my soulmate because he worked really hard to convince me of this. And he had a shrimp and I was so depressed about it. I thought the universe was punishing me for the being promiscuous. But nope, the universe doesn't work like that. I was super depressed about the fact he was my soulmate for more reasons than shrimp, which should have made it obvious he was absolutely not my soulmate. Alright, this twin flame shit has me triggered by that stupid shit from that cult thing that I read to you guys weeks ago.
Speaker 1:Here we go, what's going on? My new man and I have been intimate four or five times now and every time I try to go down on him it's a problem. The first time he squirmed and flinched for less than a minute, then switched to sex. I didn't think much of it because it was our first time and I thought he didn't want to nut too quickly. Second time, I tried to go down on him. We had just finished having sex and I wanted to clean the cum off him. I put it in my mouth and went up and down once before he jumped up really quickly and told me no, you're not going to suck my soul out one day. We're in the car and his pants are on zip. So I say zip your pants up, love, unless you want me to suck it. He declines and says that his mind is on business and when he's working he doesn't take breaks for sex. He even told me that his business brain turns off at 7 pm and that's when we can play. I stayed the night at his house that night but didn't try oral. The next morning I try to go down on him again and he says you're not about to drain all my energy out before work. I am by no means a throat goat, but I also know that I'm not bad at giving blowjobs.
Speaker 1:Because of the positive reviews from former partners. I have never experienced anything like this. Normally, guys love when I go down on them. His responses make me feel like he's repulsed by receiving oral. I'm really confused about why my new man is so uncomfortable with me sucking him off. Are there men out there who don't like oral, or am I not catching him at the right time, if that's even a thing? Has anyone ever experienced this Thoughts? Let's see this shit. The first response I don't think he's repulsed. I just think he's trying to set boundaries and sounds like he's energy sensitive and is just trying to balance out his time. Have y'all talked about it. He sounds open to communicating, since he's giving you some info every time you've tried so far. The chick the poster says we have only talked about it when he turns it down, not about why he's turning it down. Then it says maybe one night have like a relaxing night, watch some movies and talk to him. Communication is key. He could explain it way better than random people on facebook.
Speaker 1:He also just might not find, must he almost just also just might not enjoy it. Some guys just don't find pleasure in it. Someone said he probably feels dirty. Some men sweat a lot and feel like they might smell. Try after a shower and see if that's the case. If not, then maybe have a heart-to-heart. Maybe it's not something he enjoys.
Speaker 1:I don't know. It's weird. My guy doesn't like it. It feels good but he doesn't get off. But he also wouldn't stop me if I tried. It might just be something you need to ask him about.
Speaker 1:Okay, maybe he doesn't like it. I personally don't, and it's not because I've never had anyone that's good at it. Okay, is that? A dude Simply doesn't like it. I don't do it because I don't like saliva. I don't do it because I don't like saliva. He could have an issue with that, could have had a past trauma or bad event. Also, I've never loved men going down on me, regardless of their skill. Maybe he's the same.
Speaker 1:Men also have varying sex drives. Some men just aren't open about it, oh gosh, so you know what I mean. Like all of this shit is crazy. Um, the fact that these women are so open. A lot of this shit, though, makes me question, like not freedom of speech, but like some things people are trying to cancel lately and it's like all right, I get it. And then there's shit like this going on on Facebook. Why is Zuckerberg not checking that out? He don't want us supposedly taking screenshots of chats. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want that. Oh, my wrist hurts, but like this shit is happening. No-transcript, but in any case, I appreciate you guys listening and I hope you have a great rest of your day and enjoy your upcoming weekend. It has been a pleasure talking with you all. Toodaloo bye you.
