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Coco Off the Grid
Let's go off the grid and get silly with today's headlines, work dramas and the unexplainable actions of others.
Close your blinds, shut off your lights and put your phones on airplane mode because it's time to join me for another episode of "Coco Off the Grid."
Coco Off the Grid
Sweet OMG Bobby
Between swimmer's ear and catfishing let's bring some light to support teams and navigating new endeavors with me exiting my role as an Account Manager and venturing into the unknown of Implementation. We discuss being stuck in space for more than necessary and how movies prepare us to deal with situations of the unknown and apocalyptic situations. Finally, let's discuss Netflix's newest doc to blow my mind "Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare," which tells the story of a woman who was catfished for close to a decade via Facebook (hinting to have better friends!).
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What's up people? So this is a new episode. This week, again, I've been going through some stuff mental health stuff but it's okay, we're cool, we're chilling, nothing bad. I am working from home today, so I'm going to record this real quick and put this out same day, which I don't typically do, turnaround like that. But since I've been slacking so hard, I feel so fucking bad. Um, my manager keeps messaging me stuff. So this is like my official. My official last day in my role as an account manager is tomorrow, but I took tomorrow off so that I could just be chilling, because next week I start my new role in implementation, which is going to be dope as fuck.
Speaker 1:I am not feeling too great. I think I have swimmer's ear or some shit. I woke up yesterday morning. My left ear was completely clogged. Couldn't hear anything out of it. Throughout the day, though, it got better, of course, I did like a virtual visit with the doctor and they said you have swimmer's ear probably, because I guess my it's either a buildup of wax or my ear canal is inflamed, which it could be a bit of both, who knows?
Speaker 1:At this point, I'm also working on getting back on my fitness shit. I've been slacking since the move. To be honest with you, and I know that sucks and I'm really starting to regret it because I'm starting to feel it. I just trying to work that out. So far, though, it's pretty chill. I love being home. The fuck.
Speaker 1:This is me calling from level what, who the fuck is this? Sorry, I just got a text. I had scheduled another appointment today, but I'm not going to go through with it. So what the fuck is this? I'm not going to play it. Obviously, I just want to see. What is this shit? It says what? Now, hold on, I'm hoping it doesn't play it. You know what? I'll wait till this is done. I don't give a shit. Um, I canceled my appointment. I had one for one 30 and I canceled it. Um, they can fucking charge me a no show, I don't give a fuck. You don't have my card on file anyway. So if I have an outstanding balance, it's probably going to be a copay of $20. Who cares? I'm really just not in the mood for anything today. So there's my intro to that.
Speaker 1:Everything's been fine, other than that. I really can't believe. You know what I thought about today. Let's talk about this really quick.
Speaker 1:I can't believe that, biologically speaking, our ear, nose and throat is attached to the same fucking thing. So you're telling me that if my ear hurts, it's a good possibility that I'm going to have a sinus headache and some post nasal drip Cause, if you could tell, my throat doesn't sound that great. I feel very mucusy, which is gross, but I was thinking about that the other night. I was thinking about that last night in bed before I went to sleep, which is probably why I have so many problems. Uh, why is it that that shit is all connected, like right now my ear being clogged. I hear some ringing in my ear, which is really fucked up, but then my throat also feels funky.
Speaker 1:I've had to clear my throat 20 plus times probably throughout the day, even talking to people. It's so fucking rude. I hate when people used to clear their throat on the phone with me and now I'm doing it with other people and I can't stand myself, really can't. What did my manager say? We're having some issues with our chat platform, webex, and I was talking to my dad about it and he said to just restart it. So my manager goes at least restart twice a week. He goes, I do every night. But it's also creepy that my laptop will be shut down at 2am and it'll randomly start whirring while it updates, like I'm telling you, the fucking machines are going to take over, and this is a prime example. Like this, this chat thing just keeps shutting us down every step of the way, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I know I was supposed to my last podcast episode. I said I was going to talk about where the boyfriend looks during sex, because there was a weird question of. I think one of the posts I read on Facebook was having hemorrhoids, and I don't want the guy to look at my asshole, whatever. So I didn't really get to ask him that yet I will, though. I do want him to come on, though, and speak his truth, whatever. I think that'd be really funny. He's a.
Speaker 1:Isn't it weird how, when you get together with somebody who actually brings you peace, you just do nothing but think about them all day? I was just thinking about this. I was like this guy has me so head over heels crazy for him that I just be sitting here and I'm like, damn, my life is way enriched, that I just be sitting here and I'm like, damn, my life is way enriched Anyway. And you know, you guys know, I don't do cutesy shit. I'm trying to stay away from that because that's not my forte. My forte is just being a miserable bitch.
Speaker 1:But lately I can't be miserable, except with this fucking ear thing. Man, I am so aggravated Like I just want to be able to hear. Like if I hold my earlobe open, if I hold that little cartilage right there, I can fucking hear. When I let it go, that thing slams shut like a fucking furnace door. Okay. And then I'm back to hearing in the left side and I just get so irritated about my entire day. I just want to go back to sleep. Like yesterday. I went to bed See what I'm saying with the throat clear. I went to bed last night. I was perfectly fine. I was laying on my back. I don't even think I slept on my left side once, which I'm trying to refrain from doing because that is where the problem is and I woke up this morning and I'm back to nothing in my left ear Now it's getting better, where I can hear a little bit more.
Speaker 1:So, of course, when I put the drops in my ear because I got prescribed drops for swimmer's ear yesterday, oh can I tell you, it made it so much worse that I was like wow, I really cannot hear shit, like I really cannot hear a fucking thing. And then it cleared out. So I messaged the physician apparently, once five o'clock hits, nobody's on so I said okay, so I just messaged it, just to message it. It wasn't a big deal. And this woman, this other practitioner, I guess, who was doing the night shift, whatever she was like she answered my question because I said is it normal for this to feel like more clogged after I put the drops in? She was like yeah, and then she was like please don't message this one again. This physician is not. You don't calm down. Aren't you making money off of me right now? You're making money off me right now and you're a physician. So how about you chill the fuck out and just help a paranoid bitch? How about that? Anyway? So let's see what else. Oh, okay, so check this shit out.
Speaker 1:So I was discussing this with a friend of mine while in discord. This was this. All of this shit that I'm recapping right now happened before today. I don't really have too much current shit for you. I have stuff that I wanted to discuss in the last couple of episodes that I've skipped, obviously. So I'm going to try and recap it for you.
Speaker 1:So this is the funny fucking thing we have some astronauts stuck in space right now from NASA. I'm going to pull this article up really quick and you're going to hear some noise, but that's okay. Let's see Astronauts stuck in space. I like how it's the second thing that comes up. Let's see. Do I want to do associated press? I guess's see. September 28th. Yeah, so this is probably it. This is probably it.
Speaker 1:So spacex launched a rescue mission for two stuck astronauts at the international space station on saturday, sending up a downsized crew to bring them home, but not until next year. The capsule rocketed into orbit to fetch the test pilots, whose boeing spacecraft returned to earth empty earlier this month because of safety concerns. The switch-in rides left it to NASA's Nick Hague and Russia's Alexander Gorbunov to retrieve Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams. Because NASA rotates space station crews approximately every six months, this newly launched flight with two empty seats reserved for Wilmore and Williams, will return until late February. Hold the fuck up, bro. February, this shit happened. Let me tell you something. This shit happened, I think, early in September, late August. Okay, this is when I first read about this.
Speaker 1:This article is from September 28th. Officials said there wasn't a way to bring them back earlier on SpaceX without interrupting other scheduled missions. Fuck them other scheduled missions. Do you understand that? There's two human beings who are probably losing density in their bones as we speak, just chilling waiting for help? By the time they return, the pair will have logged more than eight months in space. They expect to be gone just a week when they signed up on, just a week when they signed up when the flight launched in June. Oh, oh, my God. Do you know how? I'd rather just die than sit in space and wait. I've seen too many movies. So this shit says NASA ultimately decided that Boeing's Starliner was too risky after a cascade of thruster troubles and helium leaks marred its trip to the orbiting complex. The space agency cut two astronauts from the SpaceX launch to make room on the Dragon's capsule's return leg for Willmore and Williams.
Speaker 1:Jesus Christ Haig noted before the flight that change is the one constant in human spaceflight. There's always something that's changing. Maybe this time it's been a little more visible to the public. I don't care about their background. What I care about is how the fuck are we okay with this? Spacex docks at ISS to collect stranded astronauts. So they pick them up in September. They've already been out there three months. They've already been out there three months.
Speaker 1:I love Reddit, by the way. Scrolling through Google is like an adventure in itself and it's very easy to get lost. So there's some articles saying that these people are stuck. Reddit says they're not and it's like okay, professionals, why are you on fucking Reddit? If you know so much? Are you trying not to get black bagged and drug off by some conspiracy theory? Anti people Like are you waiting for that? Astronauts are not stuck on the ISS. Nasa and Boeing officials say NASA, our astronauts are not stuck. We're taking our time to confirm that the risk we have identified is, in fact, as minimal as we believe.
Speaker 1:Bitch, I don't care. Do you understand that with everything that we know about space and everything that we've seen in movies, I would not be taking the chance to wait to go home till February. I've seen life, I've seen aliens, I've seen a whole bunch of shit, even though these things weren't going in that direction. I don't give a fuck. Either take me home or I'm killing myself and everyone on this fucking craft. Okay, I will go crazy. Do you know how quiet it has to be out there. Fuck you and fuck that, because one wrong move and we're dead. Okay, one wrong move and we're dead. I don't care how advanced technology is, technology is on its way to kill us.
Speaker 1:The most recent thing I have read is that Elon Musk is fucking developing robot incubators okay, that look like humans Humans See, this is the congestion. I don't know what a human is. A human is a person. So Elon Musk is creating robots that look like people that will have your baby for you, and we're going to read about that. Let's check this shit out. Hold up. Who is this? Kathy Menza, bitch, I am not your account manager anymore. I was going to the next person and see a human incubators.
Speaker 1:Elon Musk, here we go. Stay in Safari. Ah, here we go. Please, please, please, oh God, this is even worse. This isn't even what I want. Oh God, this is even worse. This isn't even what I want. Let's see A solution to Musk's fear of population collapse.
Speaker 1:Artificial womb facility Get the fuck out of here. Artificial womb, let's see Artificial. I swear to God, I'm going to freak out if I keep hearing this ringing artificial womb. Let's say I saw it on Facebook. Okay, I just okay. Pronatalism of Silicon Valley. Why can't I find this fucking thing now, anyway, so what I saw was and it could be fake, I don't know but it's looking like he's afraid that the population is going to die because, you know, the mortality rate of women is very high. Giving birth, it's like the most intense pain, they say, you could ever experience. Close to being struck by lightning is what I remember. A lot of women do die during childbirth, even with modern medicine. Well, that's it, I guess. Anyway, yeah, so that's a thing that might be a thing. We'll come back to it. If I find something else about it, we'll come back to it.
Speaker 1:This woman better stop emailing me. I am not her fucking person anymore. Who is this company? Hold up, hold up, hi, I'm not your. I'm not going to be your account manager any longer, so I'll have to reach out to my manager and see who's going to get them. Uh, let's see. Oh, hurricane, shit, cause I don't really want to talk about payroll stuff. So, two weeks ago since we are now on October 24th two weeks ago was Hurricane Milton and we had the only discussion about who is naming these fucking things, because Hurricane Milton sounds like an accountant, or an accountant who's going to now go postal and kill everyone in his office, the office being Florida. So, considering the fact that Tampa had just gotten hit by something else, then they were getting hit by Milton and Milton's had enough. So I we have plenty of conversations about this at work A lot of Tampa, I believe tried to evacuate and everybody got stuck. That's the thing with this.
Speaker 1:Okay, if you live here, you know what you're getting into. When you live here, depending upon where you are I'm in central Florida. I am 30 to 45 minutes away from Orlando. 30 minutes on a good day, 45 on a stupid weekend in the evening, I should say, uh, I, four is the most, is the worst highway ever to get on. So there's that. Um, we were talking about the apocalypse at work.
Speaker 1:Everybody barely was coming into the office that week. I made it to the office every day that I was supposed to, which was Monday and Tuesday half a day Tuesday actually and then Wednesday we were told to just be chilling at home. Uh, I dealt with the worst supporting manager there is on Thursday because my manager lost power and internet Wednesday night. Um, I didn't lose anything.
Speaker 1:And here let me tell you something. I had asked my mother if she wanted to come this way, because they live in Riverview, which is like half an hour to 45 minutes uh away from Tampa, and she said she didn't want to excuse me, need a sip of coffee. Um, the reason behind that is that she said that, uh, what'd you call it? She said that, oh, milton's coming your way too. And I was like, okay, looking at how this is going, it's moving from West to East, bitch, okay, west, meaning it's hitting your ass first with the most intensity, and then it's trickling over to me, which it may have died by the time it passes through all these buildings. So, number one, my Milton and your Milton are relatives, not twins. So by the time Milton gets to me, it's going to be less crazy than when it hits you. Okay, and I've survived.
Speaker 1:Hurricane Ian here Didn't lose anything with Hurricane Ian either. The only difference between those two is that I'm on a higher floor. So, as much as I was nervous about losing it, the only time I've ever lost power here was maybe over the summer, when they were doing some work and it went out for a couple hours. I had it back before before. Um, the evening really kicked off. It was maybe an hour after it went out. This place is really good and sturdy. The only thing that happened maybe was that you know there was. It looked like someone did some bad landscaping. That's what it was Like the next day.
Speaker 1:The next day I even tried to go get McDonald's and these motherfuckers allow you to pick up. They were allowing you to go into the lobby to pick your food up, but they did not have the lobby unlocked, so my 10 piece nugget went uncollected. So Thursday, I'm sorry. So Thursday, while I was dealing with that fuck ass supervisor Friday I called out Friday I was like my internet's out. My internet was not out, I just didn't want to deal with her and I'm pretty sure my manager knew that too. Fuck ass supervisor. Anyway.
Speaker 1:So we were talking about me and my coworkers that were in office Tuesday. So we were talking about me and my coworkers that were in office Tuesday. We're discussing what we would, what our parts would be, what part would we play. Because I said, when this shit happens, if it happens and my mom agrees with me that everything we've seen with the walking dead, any zombie movies, anything like that, even I am legend where they run like fucking crazies because it's just a chemical that fucked up everyone's body, who had cancer, and they came back to try and kill us, and they only came at night. So anything that we've seen in any entertainment, I feel like, is preparing us for when shit really hits the fan, and that's all I'm going to say about it. Okay, when shit hits the fan, we should all take all the knowledge we know from all pieces of entertainment we've ever seen in the history, ever including Planet of the Apes. All right, they've even made a reboot of that and I'm wondering why Is it? Because we have newer technology than in the seventies when they first had this fucking movie? I don't even remember what was his name, what was his name that was on that. Anyway, the main guy I know, mark Wahlberg, was in it. They had fucking James Franco in the newer ones Craziness.
Speaker 1:My coworker Klee calls Jesus Sky Daddy and I almost fucking fell out of my chair. I was like, yeah, listen, if the apocalypse happens and there's fucking zombies that run, I'm like I'm going to need all the albuterol and steroids I could possibly have to get my ass up and moving because Because I'm gonna tell you something I'm gonna lose so much weight running. If you've seen Zombieland, that is like the best guide ever. He's got so many guides because he's one of those people who's like me. Now we just stay indoors, play video games and order food. It's literally moving towards that direction. And if someone eats a bad cheeseburger, we're fucking done. We're fucking done, okay.
Speaker 1:Anyway, so my coworker, kevin. He's on another team, but he was listening to the conversation because there's literally 10 of us in office so you could hear a pin drop in that motherfucker. So we're just standing around talking and Kevin said that he is a no nonsense person. He doesn't care who you are. If you get bit or anything like that. If you're an infected person, you're getting put down. Even if you're a loved one, a parent, anything like that, it's over for you. If he sees anything funky with your ass and I agree with him we're not doing this bargaining. We do the little kiss, say goodbye, cry, and then we move on to the next thing because we have to survive.
Speaker 1:Okay, we have to be out there killing other fucking zombies and making shit happen, but we also have to figure out who has what skill, because if you don't have a skill, it seems like you're just going to be out there just getting killed, like no one's going to care about having another mouth to feed. If you can't contribute, which it's valid in any sense, okay. Tribute, which it's valid in any sense, okay. That is why we all get jobs and shit is to have a skill or to know that there's a skillset we have as a hobby. Like Clee's going to survive because she knows how to cook. I know how to cook and bake. My grandmother knows how to plant shit. My other grandmother she might be stuck. She might just be over there.
Speaker 1:My parents were law enforcement so they have guns. They know how to use weapons and shit and can teach other people how to protect and defend themselves. So we got a whole bunch of shit. My boyfriend knows how to build shit Like he deals with concrete. He's very hands-on. He knows how to make stuff happen. Okay, I have. My whole team is fine. My sisters might be the only problem because they don't know how to do anything. Whole team is fine. My sisters might be the only problem because they don't know how to do anything. So they might have to get taught before shit happens. My sister can cook kinda. My other sister the only hobby she has is bitching about stuff. So there's that. But we'll teach her something. We'll teach her how to fucking hunt or some shit. Oh yeah, my dad knows how to hunt also, so that's cool. So we have a whole bunch of shit that we could be doing and we will fix everything. We will bring our own little community together.
Speaker 1:I did also say some shit about politics. I don't really get into this shit. I really do not. But I know what the perfect slogan for this country should be If I ever ran for office which will never happen, but I feel like anybody who isn't even remotely qualified is getting into this and is getting elected just because they have the. To me it seems like okay, so let's think about it this way. So with politics, it seems like if you're running for office, you just have to have a really strong opinion that someone can get behind. That's what it is. That's what it feels like we might be getting Trump as a president again. Who fucking knows? Okay, it's this.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's because I'm older and I can pay attention to all of this shit now, but I don't ever remember a time when I was younger when people got so aggressive and in your face about politics up till the past, like 20 years, okay, when I was 15, when I was in high school to know things. And they don't teach you about politics like this in school, which is another downfall, like they're just teaching us about old shit. How old are these textbooks, bro? How old are these textbooks when my the textbooks I got in high school were falling apart at the seams Like was fucking Abraham Lincoln actually using the same book I'm using Cause? Come on, now these ideals change every day and then they're trying to like you know, separation of church and state was a good thing, and now they're just trying to shove it down our throats in school, like religious beliefs and all that. I remember pledge, allegiance to the flag, bruh, I remember that shit. We used to do that every day in high school, every day, not in middle school so much, but like elementary school, like they. You know that's how patriotic it got.
Speaker 1:But lately people are just like trying to fight each other, like I'm pretty sure if the purge happened tomorrow people would be fucking dead. I do know who I'd go after, and it's not for political reasons, it's just because you know you crossed me too many times and you made me mad. I might have to go after a couple of exes, um, just because I know they ain't shit and someone needs to teach them a lesson. I did see a meme related to this and I know I'm talking really fast, but I'm kind of excited about this. I don't know why I would be excited about the purge, but who cares? I did see a meme on Facebook that said they need to come out with a show that happens after the purge, like the next day. Like hey, what happened to Steve? And you're like, oh, had to fucking kill him. He stole my stapler the other day. Like it's a simple shit, like that. If people got set off that way, or if someone implemented the purge, it's going to be fucking over. I don't know who's coming after me, but I tell you what I will have all the rage in the world unleashed in that one day and I bet you I'd be fine for the rest of the year.
Speaker 1:I'm waiting for Donald Trump to be like hey, we need to, we need to actually start doing the purge. Who even came up with this idea? Someone thought about this and was like let's put this into a movie. This is going to influence somebody one day. Someone is going to look at this and be like you know what this sounds like a fantastic idea. We're lowering crime. We're lowering all this other shit, because we have one day where we let everybody go bananas Brinks might make a lot of money. Because they're going to do that. Home security shit, adt. They're going to help with fucking, you know, blocking off windows and shit craziness anyway. Blocking off windows and shit Craziness. Anyway.
Speaker 1:My slogan for the country now that we circling back to that is going to be everyone hates everyone. Don't come here. Okay, because with the amount of shit that we see about immigrants coming over and how we hate them and all this stuff not my personal opinion, just to let you know I don't do this shit here. This is not the place for that. But I was talking to my friend, dan, about this stuff and they were talking about fucking food. I don't remember exactly what it was, but we were talking about, you know, oh God, what is his name? I think Logan Paul or some shit.
Speaker 1:We were talking about fucking how he wants to improve upon Lunchables because of all the process shit, but what he's trying to improve upon is adding more sugar. I was like, why are we touching things? People have been eating Lunchables for decades. Okay, tens of years people have been investing in Lunchables. It was the quickest way to get your fix for lunch. It was like the early days of a charcuterie board. Okay, everybody's doing boards now, and that's because we used to fuck with Lunchables.
Speaker 1:We're like, hey, let's deconstruct this sandwich with some crackers and cheese and ham and all that, throw in some honey and some brie cheese, all of it, bro, just throw it down my throat. Throw it down my throat. I'm so sorry. I hate clearing my throat. I've been doing this to people. I've had so many meetings this week that I've had to do this to other reps. Like, I'm so sorry every time I clear my throat because that shit pisses me off and people don't apologize for it. So I'm gonna apologize to you guys and to everybody I speak to when I have to go.
Speaker 1:Okay, sip my coffee. Sorry, I need. I don't understand what it is, but my throat has just been drier and drier lately. Don't be perverted. I know you're going to go there. I already went there several times. It is stupid, stupid and juvenile. So, anyway, I'm struggling with clogged ears and this is what's happening this week, okay, um. So yeah, everyone hates everyone. Don't come here.
Speaker 1:That's the slogan for America, because it's true. At this point, politics is probably tearing this country apart worse than it's ever been. I don't know. I'll have to ask my mother if there was a presidency where everybody was just chill. I feel like it was Bill Clinton, and that's only because he liked to get his dick sucked and admitted it. I will have to watch that, though. I think it was some Monica Lewinsky shit. I don't remember, but Ryan Murphy sticks his hands into everything.
Speaker 1:I do have to say, though, they got to fix American Horror Story, because I finished American Horror Story in New York and it was. It was okay. That ending was very lackluster. They built it up to nothing. That's what I'm going to say about it. Built it up to absolutely nothing. Okay, it basically was a slow burn to the discovery of HIV. That's what it was, and some guy killing gays, and it wasn't because they had HIV, it was just because, because his higher purpose in life was to show that gays had meaning it was. It was during a time where, you know, the gay population was very prejudiced against. Okay, so I understand he's trying to make a point. Uh, their gay pride parade. He was like making his own little gay Frankenstein monster insane Legitimately was taking parts of gay men and putting them together to make a Sentinel that he was preserving with fucking embalming fluid that he was going to take trigger.
Speaker 1:Trigger warning, spoiler warning he was going to take the heart of one of the main characters, put it in this shit and think he was going to jumpstart it like a fucking car and then post it up like he was going to fly with wings and save all the gays in New York City from police brutality, and I'm like it's not even that, though, crazy. You're just killing people. You're just killing people. You're killing people thinking it's helping other people, and it's not. You're just killing people. That's so insane. That's probably why I like psychology so much, because it's like you know you could have trauma. All you want Trauma.
Speaker 1:Dumping to prove a point is insane, and yes, I will say insane, because I'm not a licensed anybody and this is just my opinion. You don't have to agree with it. But how can you just be okay with killing more of your people Because he was gay? He was gay and the argument he made is that no, no, you see, you don't understand All of these guys. They're going to have a higher purpose. They're going to push the frontier forward for gay people and they'll know not to mess with us any longer. No, dude, you're just a murderer. You're walking around roofing my ties and cutting people's limbs off.
Speaker 1:Anyway, crazy, irksome, cringe. Uh, let me see. Um, oh, let's round this one out. So if you haven't seen sweet Bobby on Netflix, hold that, hold the fucking phone. Okay, I'm going to Google the title of this just for you. The title of this, just for you. So this is called Sweet Bobby, my Catfish Nightmare. Can I tell you this is the most absolute crazy shit I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it starts with this woman. Even reading it, it's just so. Oh, my God, I can't. I'm going to just read the synopsis to you. A woman's online courtship takes an unsettling turn when she learns that her romantic interest harbors a dark secret and sinister motives leading to a harrowing ordeal Ordeal, by the way, I can't speak to save my fucking life this week. First of all, the fact that it got a 6.2 out of 10 is outrageous. This shit was amazing. Oops, don't open it. Don't open it. There we go. Okay, I clicked something wrong. Um, her name is Kirat. Okay, she is. She was born in Kenya. She is um middle Eastern. Okay, she is. She was born in Kenya. She is um middle Eastern. It was 10 years of her being catfished by this guy named Bobby.
Speaker 1:And when I tell you that I couldn't sleep after I watched this thing, you really have to watch this thing. Okay, even if I spoil the ending for you, please fucking watch it, because I'm going to go through this entire thing right now and explain to you that this is one of the most insane things I've ever watched in my life, because how could you do that to someone for 10 years? Okay, and not only that, but like, make it so real. Okay, so let's go into it a little bit. Okay, if please do not listen to the end of this episode. Okay, please, don't. Please, do not listen to the end of this episode.
Speaker 1:If you're going to watch this show like if you hear me getting towards the end, which I'll remind you please don't listen to it. If you're going to watch this, if you're going to watch it, not today you might be able to listen to this ending, just so that you won't remember what happened. Okay, you might not remember after you listen to this. This show was absolutely insane Okay, I've never been more in my life, if that's a word because I was like at the end of it yes, that sounds great, but I was like, oh my God, no, it was just like that. So, towards the end of the episode, when I get towards the end of the fucking movie, I'm going to tell you fast forward five or 10 minutes. Okay, it's probably gonna be 10. Um, but anyway, uh, I'll probably put it in the synopsis of the episode what to skip. So, in any case, this woman, I just man dude, I really just can't. Uh, let me just read this shit. So there's an article on it on Business Insider that gives the story. So Kirat Asi, the subject of Sweet Bobby, my Catfish Nightmare, which is the title on Netflix, is still hoping that police will pursue her catfisher. After reporting them six years ago, officers in London told Business Insider that they were investigating her case after initially dropping it. The Netflix show plays on two recent hot topics in streaming true crimes and scams, where extra publicity can shed new light on the cases. Here are some of the twists not captured in the show.
Speaker 1:In 2010, ossie, a radio presenter from London, began a friendship over Facebook with a man she believed was Bobby John Doe, a wealthy heart doctor. Sway says she later thought she met his family on Facebook. After the relationship turned romantic and the pair got engaged without ever meeting. She was deceived. In 2018, she found that spoiler alert. Skip past a few seconds. Simran Bogle, her second cousin, created the elaborate fiction with a web of accounts and a particularly sophisticated example of catfishing. By then, she had confounded and confronted the real Yondu, who had no idea who she was. Yondu and Asi reported Bogle to the police in the UK, but catfishing is not a crime under UK law and she was not charged or prosecuted. She sued her in English courts in a 2020 civil case. The pair settled a year later, with Asi getting financial compensation and an apology later that could be shown to a limited set of people.
Speaker 1:Here's what the documentary missed out on on Jossie's Ossie's journey for justice. The attorneys made their own allegations in episode five of the 2021 podcast series Sweet Bobby, which publicized her story before the Netflix release. The host, alexi Mostras, said that Ossie hired two lawyers Amrit Mann and Yair Cohen helped her pursue legal action against Vogel in the months following her first interactions with London's Metro police. Okay, so we don't need to read any of the rest of that. Who the fuck cares? So this is what happens. So, basically, what they given.
Speaker 1:The synopsis is going to be a longer version of this. This is going to be a longer version of this. So what happens is this chick? Um don't really know how they met Um, it's not really ever clear as to how she got started talking to him, other than the fact that, hey, he friend requests to her and she decided to. You know, she says she just she didn't accept friend requests from just anybody, but he seemed interesting, so she decided to like go for it. So she starts talking to him. It starts off friendly at first. Um, he ends up dating some chick, or no, no, no, he was married at the time is what was claimed, and he was going through a divorce shortly thereafter. She's always had his back.
Speaker 1:The main character, the protagonist, starts out as his friend, nothing flirty, nothing like that. He ends up going through a divorce with his current wife, whatever. And then he fucking meets someone else I forget what her name is. Who cares? Um ends up going through a relationship with her and getting married. The protagonist gets upset because she has feelings for him whatever. Uh, he ends up getting shot, like the shit is so wild. Like she ends up getting notified that he gets shot by the, by his fiance, his now fiance, soon to be wife. Okay, oh no, no, they're married already. Sorry, um, the main character couldn't attend it. Um, so she had given her love her best, whatever. Um, the new wife reports that he got shot and is in critical condition in the hospital. And is in critical condition in the hospital in New York. So he's not even in the same country as her right now. So, throughout all of that shit, supposedly he says his new wife couldn't handle it so she left him, says his, his new wife couldn't handle it, so she left him.
Speaker 1:And he starts to romanticize with this new chick, with the, with the main character of this Netflix special. Okay, so they get involved. They start getting wrapped up in each other, starts getting emotional. He admits to like falling in love with her, whatever. So he's the first one to say anything like that. It's not her. She kind of ignores it because she's like you know, I don't really believe this whatever. It's not her. Uh, she kind of ignores it because she's like you know, I don't really believe this whatever. But she's also already been introduced to his family some of his family on Facebook. So they are all in a family chat and they're like no, no, no. He actually really repeats it a lot. So he actually really does love you. Whatever she falls for it, lets herself fall into the relationship, whatever. A couple months later, um I don't know how many years it is later now, I think it might be five years later Um, he proposes to her on Facebook Okay, weirdly enough, traditions like that for their culture don't work that way.
Speaker 1:He has to meet the family and then, you know, ask for the hand from the father and then he gets it and then he does that. He didn't do that. He never met the parents. Uh, he'd spoken with Kidot's mom about it and said please do not tell her dad because I guess the dad is supposed to go, her father is supposed to go speak to his family, meet them, whatever, you know, socialize, whatever, get everything all situated between the two families, whatever. So there comes to be a point where he starts to um, get better. Um, he whispers to her instead of speaking. And the mom said that you know, there was a point where they had a conversation and he was on speaker and she said that his voice sounded weird, that, um, it sounded very high pitch when he was like he was only able to whisper because his vocal cords were paralyzed, whatever. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:But okay, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt the whole way through this bitch up till, like you know the twists and turns, whatever, because it's in the title she's getting catfished. Okay, so I'm just assuming that this motherfucker is just ugly or something. So, cause, that's all you hear from that stupid show on MTV was that you know, they catfish people and the person actually turns out to be ugly, or the girl ends up being a dude or something stupid like that. So I'm like, all right, this is going to take a turn, let's just see how the story goes. So we keep going.
Speaker 1:Things seem to be fine, but he starts to get like a narcissist. He starts cutting her off from anybody, everybody. He keeps telling her that he doesn't want her to go out. She starts losing weight. She starts becoming less socialized. It's taking a turn for the worst on her end, okay, and family members are starting to notice.
Speaker 1:She gave up her radio show because he didn't like how she was talking to people. He had her, she would just keep, like Microsoft teams open oh, skype, excuse me, she would keep Skype open during her show and that he was listening in and he said that it sounded flirtatious. And then you know, she reaches out to his cousin or whatever, and he says the same thing. He's like you know, it's one thing to be doing a job but it's another to, like you know, disrespect your significant other by speaking a certain way to people. And she was like I was being friendly, not fl people, and she was like I was being friendly and not flirty. And he goes well, it didn't come across that way Like it just gets stupid. Okay, just get stupid. She's giving up a lot of herself to be with someone who she can't even physically be with, which, I think, is, you know, ridiculous. Obviously, if you're actually with that person, it's still ridiculous. There is no form of this shit. That is okay.
Speaker 1:Secondly, or in addition to cause I don't know how many points I've just made she again is losing weight. She's losing sleep because she falls asleep with him on the phone, on Skype excuse me, skype where she can't even see him. He can see her. They fall asleep together. If she gets up and goes to the restroom, he gets pissed off, saying where did you go? She's like afraid to make noise while he's sleeping, to make sure he doesn't get mad. Apparently, he would send her gifts as an apology, like he sends her some roses and a pair of earrings, a necklace set, whatever. So he tries to make up for all his wrongdoings by sending her gifts. She accepts them, everything goes back to being okay and then it's like a vicious cycle. It keeps coming.
Speaker 1:So now it gets to a point where, um, oh, supposedly this whole time he's in witness protection, so he's only getting like special opportunities to speak with her, like like Kimra Kira, excuse me only has special permission to speak with him because they say so. So I'm like oh, okay, okay, is that what we're doing? Okay, so, uh, never heard of it, but all right, um, so she tries to go visit him. Uh, and they say, no, it's not okay to visit him because he's under witness protection because of the, you know, gunshot wounds he received that put him in this special condition. So she can't visit him. Uh, what else? Uh, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So we get to the point where he's actually going to be released from the hospital because his health is doing well. Also, she got blamed for one of his downfalls, which was apparently she stressed him out so bad his health started to take a dip. Highly doubt it. It's fine. So apparently he gets released to the UK. He said he was getting on a flight to see her so that they could actually meet in person. So we're like, yay, we're finally going to see what this person looks like.
Speaker 1:And then, of course, you know excuses, excuses. Like he's not ready to see her. She goes to the hotel where he's supposedly staying. They're like we don't have a guest by that name here. She messages him, he goes oh, I told them to say that because you know I don't want any visitors because the witness protection program thing. She's like okay, okay, whatever.
Speaker 1:And then she's she like goes to a secondary address I guess that he has, because he lets her know that she's going, that he's going to another address, like he's going from the hospital to an apartment that he has somewhere else in the vicinity. So she tries to go there. She's standing in the street looking for him and she's like like, hey, so I'm here, where are you? And he's like I can see you and he goes, but I'm not ready to actually physically see you. Yet he goes I see where you are and she goes, okay.
Speaker 1:So she's like getting pissed off now because it's every excuse under the sun not to actually meet in person. So she's starting to get suspicious like you're fucking lying to me and all of this stuff. How, how could you do this? So she finally gets fed up. She goes home, she goes back to her apartment and she's like uh, she hires a private investigator to find his fucking address to where he is. And of course, oh, okay, no, so this is what happened.
Speaker 1:So apparently let's go back a little bit. So while he's in the hospital, he confesses that his ex-fiance or his ex-wife, whatever, was pregnant by him. They ended up sleeping together one more time, he said, and she ends up getting pregnant. So that's one thing that happens. And so she has the baby. Kirat doesn't think she fits into that lifestyle and she's like I don't, I think you should just be with her and whatever. And apparently he chooses Kirat over the chick, but it's going to be involved in the kid's life anyway. So we're like cool, whatever, that's typical, um, seems about right. So she, uh, what's, what else happens? Um, what else happens? Fasting forward, let's move forward on this.
Speaker 1:She goes to an address of the fiance's, the ex-fiance, whatever, his baby mama. Now, let's say that he goes to the baby mama's location and sees her coming out of a house that's his, where he should be Comes out of the house and she's like, huh, okay, so he has been. Comes out of the house and she's like, huh, okay, so he is, he has been with her this whole time. Like she starts to go crazy over it. That's when she gets the private investigator to find his address, because she's like he has to be lying to me. This can't be the right address.
Speaker 1:This sat in third. So she goes um, can I hear? Oh my God, I think my hearing is getting better to hear? Oh my God, I think my hearing is getting better. So she goes and, um, she goes to the address she's given by the private investigator, okay, and um, she walks up to the door, she knocks on it. Uh, she doesn't hear anything.
Speaker 1:So she starts to walk away and then the guy comes to the door and then the next thing you see in this documentary is the guy that looks exactly like the picture sits down on the couch. So I was like hold up, hold up, hold up. So the guy Bobby is a real person. Okay, it's not someone, it's not an ugly person with that picture. It's the exact same person. So I'm like holy fuck.
Speaker 1:So of course, um, I've been hooked to this whole time, dude. I've been hooked this whole time and I'm laying in bed and I'm like you know what I really? This is why I don't watch new shit before I go to bed, because I'll just be up forever. So I'm sitting there, I'm watching the TV, I'm actually I'm laying in bed. So, let's, this is I'm laying in bed and I'm like, holy fuck, dude, here we go. So he walks, he goes to the door. He sees her walking away. She turns around, sees him, walks back to the door and goes Bobby, how could you do this? She goes, no, she goes, bobby, it's me Kidat. And he looks at her and he's like I don't know who you are. And I was like, oh shit.
Speaker 1:And then the person who's supposed to be just the baby mama and not with him he's wearing a wedding ring, she's wearing a wedding ring and she has their baby. So this chick on the doorstep looks like a crazy person because she's like no, we know each other, we've been talking to each other for years and he's like I have no idea who you are or what you're talking about. And he knows, she knows the person's, the, the fiance or the wife, the real wife's name. She knows the name of the son. It's fucking insane. So you know, obviously they're scared because this woman just turns up on their doorstep and they're like we don't, we don't know who she is, we don't know what she's capable of doing, we don't know if she's going to hurt us, uh, all this other shit. So I was like oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, dude. So I was just like oh my God, dude, what is going to happen here? Absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1:The chick is upset. She uh, she leaves and she thinks he's just lying to her face to save face in front of his woman and their child. And it's not that way. He's like I literally have no idea what you're talking about. He goes. I think you know you have the wrong person. She's like no, this is you. And she shows the text like the messages to him and he goes. He goes, oh my God. He was like that's someone is pretending to be me. That's not me. And he was like I have no idea who you are.
Speaker 1:So she fucking goes home while she calls her cousin, knows him, okay, her cousin is the one who kind of like not put her on to him but you know, was encouraging this relationship with this person. So she calls her cousin and her cousins on the phone she's like I'm at Bobby's house and she goes, just go home. She goes, just leave, go home, and we'll talk about this later. And of course Bobby goes. Can I talk to her? And she goes. She goes, of course, yes. So she passes the phone to him and Bobby goes in the documentary he's like I know of Simran Cause we were. You know she dated my cousin. She no longer dates his cousin. Okay, so that's one thing.
Speaker 1:That's interesting is that she's pretending that she's still involved in this Bobby person's life in a way which is not true. So of course we're all sitting in the audience and we're all like what the fuck? What do you mean? Go home. I mean like that's the best thing she could do. But like why are you being so calm about this Instead of telling her hey, what the fuck are you doing? Why would you just show up to his house If he didn't want to see you. He didn't want to see you. Don't show up there. So bad cousin already.
Speaker 1:So, of course, um, the chick goes home. She was like I'm going to call the fucking police. And she was like don't do that, don't get involved with that. Um, just go home, we'll talk about this, I'll call you later, I'll come by, whatever, whatever. So I'm like okay, so this chick is going crazy.
Speaker 1:This chick is like, okay, well, what the fuck just even happened? She's like I thought I was talking to this person this whole time and it turns out I wasn't. Um, she's fucking home. She's, you know, texting her cousin. What do I do? What do I do? This is crazy. He's acting like he doesn't know me. He's still with her, he's with their child. She's like what do I do? So she's like going crazy, going in circles, whatever. Her cousin's like don't worry about it, we'll figure it out. Whatever she's like, I'm going to come by and we'll talk about it. So, of course, you know they, she fucking ends up at this girl, at the main chicks, the main chicks house.
Speaker 1:Okay, so now we're at the point where the cousin, you know, knocks on the door and she just shows up and you know she's, she doesn't like come in, sit down when you talk about this. And the cousin doesn't want to come in. This is the point where I'm going to tell you for the next five or so minutes skip this if you're going to watch it, because this is this is. This is the spoiler. Okay, and I already told it to you earlier, but this is crazy.
Speaker 1:So the cousin ends up the the like kid starts freaking out at the door. The cousin is just standing there looking at her like with nothing to say and she's just like real, plain faced about everything. And she goes I don't even know what to do, I don't know if I should call cops. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And we're like okay, calm the fuck down, spinderella, jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:So the cousin is like it was me, bruh, would I tell you no-transcript. I was like what does she mean? It was her. What does that mean? And the chick is just standing at the door looking at her cousin and she was like what do you mean? It was you. And I was like, yes, girl asking the right questions, yes, girl, she said it was me, I did it. And I was like I almost threw up. I almost threw up. I was like oh shit, oh shit. And she was like she goes what do you mean? You did it? Like, how could you do that to me? Like you ruined my life and all this shit. And the cousin just looks at her and she goes you ruined your own life, what? What are you talking about, queen? What do you mean? I ruined my own life Also. She's not wrong, though, because how could you stand by and do that for eight years and blame it on somebody else as well, because you're just as stupid Not to be.
Speaker 1:I'm not hating on this woman, okay. I'm hating on the fact that her family and friends did nothing to help her pull herself out of this. Okay, this is what I mean when I say women do not have the right friends. This is an exact example of this shit. I've said this before Okay, me in this situation, I could not be friends with someone like this chick, because she held on for way too long. She held on for a minute too long. Like, you can be friends with someone like that, but you cannot fall for someone like that over Facebook. You cannot do that. It's not. It's not real. It's not real, okay, and although I've been in situations where I have thought I have loved the wrong people. She, this is not real. This, this would have been a hole. I'm going to smack you in the face if you keep acting up, and I don't believe in violence, but I will put hands on a bitch for acting this dumb.
Speaker 1:In any case, her cousin admitted to having done all of this to her, which is 10 years of lying, which is 10 years of well, it was actually eight. So it was eight years of lying, eight years of coming up with, when the girl did the research on this, 60 Facebook profiles the craziest web of lies I've ever seen in my life, keeping up with 60 different profiles, including one she made of Bobby's, because that Bobby one was not real. That was the cousin. The cousin made that profile. She made family and friends profiles. She commented from those family and friends profiles she made that most elaborate lie I've ever seen in my life. It was fantastical. Okay, I've never seen something so crazy in my entire life.
Speaker 1:I don't even know how someone would keep up with all of that shit. I can barely keep up with the three platforms. I have the fourth one being threads that I don't really use. I just scroll through it to see what the fuck everyone else is talking about, which is the same for X, which used to be Twitter, which I don't even see a point for Twitter anymore. Anyway, like I said, with politics it's getting stupid, neither here nor there.
Speaker 1:This poor girl was tricked by her blood relative for eight years. Okay, insane. I'm like how can you keep up with all that? And she even set a prime example of the situation where she went out to eat with her cousin and her cousin was fucking around on her Apple watch and she was receiving messages from quote unquote Bobby, which were actually the cousin, right in front of her fucking face. Like are you for real, bro? What balls do you have to have to do something like that? You fucking did that right in front of her face and you were probably laughing at her too, like look at this crazy bitch just being so stupid and answering me Like that is so. There's no words for what that is. And of course, you know it's always. Oh well, when I was a kid, my upbringing fuck you, bitch, fuck you. You knew what you were doing was wrong. You took advantage of your cousin who was desperate for love, a family, having kids, all that shit because she was getting old and in that culture, the older you are, the more likely you'll end up a spinster. Okay, you took advantage of a situation from a blood fucking relative and you have the nerve to make it about you. Oh, hell, no, she should. Oh, my God, god, bruh, she should be fucking. If they had public stonings, I would have attended that shit. That is so crazy, but I probably would have been killed like 10 times over myself for stupid shit. I've done that.
Speaker 1:If you have not seen this masterpiece, please do. And I'm so sorry if I've spoiled it for you by telling you what happened, but this is what I do here and we're all just gonna have to get used to it. Because even if you do know the ending of this shit, the journey itself is crazier than the destination, because I still don't understand how you how you fucking follow through on 50 to 60 different profiles make all of this shit look real. Be comforting the girl. Be telling her you know what it's going to be fine. Be telling her, oh, it's gonna be fine. Be telling her, oh, you're fucking up.
Speaker 1:Uh, she made her give up her entire life. She had no job, no money, no, nothing. Because of her cousin. This whole thing fucked her up. She's better now, obviously, but like eight years of lying from 2012 to 2020, this woman was lied to by a blood relative. How was she sleeping, okay, at night about this? Like, ah, yes, on my to-do list. Tell my cousin that I'm half dead. Tell my cousin that Bobby is dying. Tell him that he got shot. Like even the fucking she, even the cousin, even had the nerve to reach out to Bobby and ask him not to pursue legal action. Why, bro, shouldn't you face some kind of consequence for doing this to this many people?
Speaker 1:And none of them were stock photos. These were actual photos of these people. Like, how bored do you have to be to spend eight years doing this? And that's a lot of work. Like, don't you have a job? Do you have a job that lets you do this? Is this how you made your money? That is so insane.
Speaker 1:I think the only thing they did do, right? Well, the only thing, please, they should have shown her face. They did not. This is what they did incorrectly. They chose stock imaging or they replaced her photo the cousin's photo, so that they that people, wouldn't know who she was why she's already being persecuted. She's already having legal action taken against her to show us her fucking face. We're not gonna go there and beat her up, unless someone over there watches it and wants to beat her up, but then they would go to jail too. So what would be the point? That's too much effort. That's way more effort than fucking manipulate and embarrass her cousin. I don't even think I hate any of my relatives enough to do that shit, and I don't speak to half my family because of some shit that happened like a decade ago, probably more. I think it happened when I was in high school, so it's probably like 20 years at this point. Um, and I'm perfectly okay with not speaking to them, so we don't have any bad blood there, but that is insane. Insane that someone would do something like that to their own blood relative Either way. So that's the most insane thing that's happened lately. Like I said, I'm really, really going to try to do this more often.
Speaker 1:Miss Louise keeps keeping me accountable for shit. She has been saying it for the past three days that, uh, I need to put another episode out. Uh, but yeah, this, this, please watch. Sweet Bobby and my catfish nightmare. Please watch it.
Speaker 1:For the love of God, don't fall for dumb shit like this or make sure you get better friends. If you do fall for something like this, you know, send that shit my way. I put all my social medias on there, if you have some. If you have a question of someone scamming you, fucking let's go. Let's go bitch, because I'll tell you right now that person's fucking lying to you. I might not be old enough to give you advice, but I'll tell you that that was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen, and I think that's why I don't have friends, because they don't want to hear me say my truth. Nah, it's all good, I don't give a fuck, all right people. Well, I love y'all for listening and this was a crazy time. I can't believe I had that much to say, but you know I have when I have to catch you guys up on shit. I'm trying to do an hour, um. If it's weekly ones, it's going to be half an hour, 45 minutes probably, Um, but we'll see.
Speaker 1:Going into my new role on Monday. Today is my Friday. I have nothing left going on. I have stupid people reaching out to me for no reason, but at least it's not no scammer telling me they love me on Facebook. Oh, and, thank God, my boyfriend is not a fucking catfisher. Uh love y'all guys. Have a great rest of your week and enjoy upcoming weekend. Love you guys. Bye.
