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Coco Off the Grid
Let's go off the grid and get silly with today's headlines, work dramas and the unexplainable actions of others.
Close your blinds, shut off your lights and put your phones on airplane mode because it's time to join me for another episode of "Coco Off the Grid."
Coco Off the Grid
'Ill-ions
What if social media could skew your priorities and alter your view of family dynamics? We unravel this and more with hilarious anecdotes from my grandmother’s infamous Facebook oversharing, leading to laughable celebrity rumors about Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. As Thanksgiving approaches, we share tales of awkward friendships and reminisce about past relationship quirks, peppered with pop culture musings and a comedic critique of Whoopi Goldberg's public persona.
Ever been stuck behind a "2020 Kia Cigar" with a wheezing horn? My surreal traffic encounter sets the stage for reflections on life's absurdities, from car names to the humor in "Malibu's Most Wanted." This episode also brings a Thanksgiving twist, with gratitude for improving family health and a look back at last year's holiday cooking adventures. And if political debates infiltrating your gaming space annoy you, you’re not alone—we stress our determination to keep certain spaces free of such discussions, all while laughing off social media’s backlash against John Stamos and his bold bald cap move in support of Dave Coulier.
Feeling out of touch with modern slang or nostalgic for simpler times when cursive writing reigned supreme? We poke fun at the ever-evolving language and technology, contrasting those retro school essentials with today’s gadget-centric world. Share laughs over relatable workplace stories, from bonding with a manager over video games to dealing with a disruptive coworker whose antics test my patience. Whether it's the mundane act of microwaving a Lean Cuisine or saving office drama for the Christmas party, brace yourself for a relatable, humorous journey through the quirks of everyday life, communication, and societal norms.
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what's up, guys? We are back with another episode of coco off the grid. Thanks you, thanks to you all for joining. I really just can't speak. This is legitimately my second take of just trying to say hi and welcome people in, so I'm recording again. I told you it was either going to be wednesday or thursday same day release. I'm back on my regular schedule of work. It was either going to be Wednesday or Thursday same day release. I'm back on my regular schedule of work, so it's going to be Thursdays. Moving forward. Released it early last week because I worked from home for two weeks and was literally driving myself crazy. Back on a regular schedule now. So that's cool. So hope everyone's had a good week so far, so far.
Speaker 1:I am chilling. I'm back on my weight loss thing. I'm still going through some allergy shit, so I sound a little nasally right now. My hello fresh box got delivered, so I already know what I'm gonna have for dinner. I have three choices and that's it. That works for me.
Speaker 1:Um, been trying to be a lot, lot better about stuff. I found a lot of cool shit on this Lemon 8 app and really dope stuff, like really cool tutorials, cool dupes from the Dollar Tree and all that shit and just absolutely fantastic stuff so far. You don't even understand the chokehold this fucking app has on me right now. If I could speak English today that'd be really good because we have a lot to cover. But I want to make sure even if we don't get to this shit. We're approaching Thanksgiving, so next week might be a little tough. I'm actually off Wednesday, so I might have to do I'll do a Wednesday recording and release it Thursday. I'm not releasing it before Thursdays anymore, just moving forward. If it is going to happen before Thursday, it's because something happened with my schedule where I can't do it on a Thursday, but my work from home days are Thursday Friday, so it's more than likely going to be a Thursday, same day release type of deal. Sorry, but that's just life and we got to get over that. I'm trying to keep consistent with these and knowing that Thursdays are the day kind of helps me, because I have nothing going on right now with this training and even when I do have something going on with this job, I'm still going to record from home. So you're still going to get an episode Thursday, whether it be a same day recording or a Wednesday recording, into a Thursday. Whatever you're, you're going to get a Thursday. So we're trying to build back this community, we're trying to people involved in places and it's been lackluster lately, but it's going to be different. So I'm really excited for that and I'm recording in a different room today, so I'm hoping it sounds a little bit different.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of stuff happening in the background. If you hear a computer or anything, that's because I have two computers in front of me, one for work and one for play. Let me see, he is hold on. My team is looking at. Oh my God, that dog is so crazy. This dog is upside down just sleeping like a human.
Speaker 1:Anyway, let's not focus on work shit. I'm not in the mood for that right now. I'm in the mood to discuss other things I've seen this past week. So between last week and this week it's been a lot.
Speaker 1:Let's discuss how family gets over politics really quick, because I was talking to my mother about this last week and the funny thing is is that so my family, everybody makes it a big deal that people vote, okay, and my grandmother made a comment last week and I kind of had to like side chat my mother to be like hey, is she on drugs or what? But my grandmother saw some Facebook posts, and my grandmother's like a Facebook Nazi, so she sees something, she's going to let us know what it is. So, with that being said, my grandmother always takes it upon herself to show us shit that's not necessary. So, for example, she saw a post about Robert De Niro saying he's going to leave the country because, um, he doesn't get any respect in the in you in the U? S, and I kind of want to be like, well, that's kind of deserved.
Speaker 1:If you have the dick like, why don't you and Al Pacino get along Like they've had the longest feud I've ever heard? And that's what's funny, is that? You know it's cool. If you want to fucking just be difficult, to be difficult, the other side of it is you guys have to work together and make millions, you know. So if you're just going to like Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker, I get that a hundred percent, because bitches don't like each other. Okay, I'm just going to tell you that right now. So bitches don't like each other. And it's because bitches act up and more than likely not to be racist, white bitches act up. Spanish bitches are way worse. I'm spanish. Okay, so spanish bitches act way worse because we don't care about your feelings. And we'll tell you when I was younger I didn't do it, but now I do it.
Speaker 1:I actually had this happen with a friend of mine named melanie um a couple years ago when I first moved down here, because it just seemed to me and it's probably not what happened, but it seemed to me that she was obsessed with being my friend and just obsessed with keeping that connection from New York. But how can I be friends with someone who asks me? She says some crazy shit to me. She goes if you were a lesbian, would you do me? And then I was like sure, like, just so you know, just to like get that question to go away. And then afterwards she was like hey, do you want to come over? What? Now? You asked me a question about if my sexuality was different what I do you and then you invited me over and then I'm just supposed to believe you know that everything's going to be cool, like we're just going to hang out, like you didn't ask me that.
Speaker 1:Let a couple days go by and then ask me to hang out, let the refresh rate happen of my brain, to then be like, oh, she didn't just ask me that. And then when I hang out and then I think something weird is going to happen, but it just seemed like so it's, it's shit like that. So I don't get irked out about that. I love everybody, everybody's sexuality is everybody's business, but you can't ask me a strange question like that and then me not think that you're going to try and put some moves on me or roofie me or some shit like that. That's crazy. Um, anyway, she was. Uh, she was pretty chill until she wasn't, and it was at that point, wasn't. And it was at that point actually, it was more when I moved down here, because one of my exes tried to make it seem like I was being a dick to her also, but he also had some problems that he wasn't resolving either. So I think he was projecting a lot of his shit onto me, which is fine, but also that's why you're an ex, so see you later, bitch. So, um, hitting the ground running really with this.
Speaker 1:So back to the Robert De Niro shit. So my grandmother said she said the craziest shit, she goes. I can't wait to line up all these celebrities and shoot them and I want to be like. First of all, you've never shot a gun in your life. So let's, let's dissect this sentence. You want to line up celebrities and shoot them. This just makes me think of that office episode where they had fucking Toby stand up and a whole bunch of other people Like. They were like if it was a Hitler of Osama bin Laden and Toby, who would you kill? That was like the worst meeting ever in an office. That shit was hilarious. So of course, they said you know they would. They said they would shoot someone and then shoot Toby twice, I think, is what happened. That was fucking so stupid.
Speaker 1:So, um, but back to my grandmother's stupid nonsense. She, she said that and I was. I. I asked my mother. I was like, is your mother on crack? I actually called my mom and was like, what's going on with her? Is she okay? Like the only thing that she ever finds important is anything on Facebook. And it's not that way, bitch. It's not. Go touch grass, go touch cement sidewalks outside your apartment, go smell that disgusting air in New York City, go play with rats in a dumpster. Find something else to do other than be on Facebook. You know, just go stand in traffic. No, I'm kidding, that's my grandmother. I shouldn't say that that's fucked up, but like, go do something outside instead of worrying about who's leaving fucking America because of fucking Trump and all this, whatever. Who even cares? He probably voted for Trump. Um, maybe he just wants to leave, to leave.
Speaker 1:I didn't read the article cause I don't give a shit, cause it's Facebook. So, and then she said something like wait till they take Whoopi Goldberg. Who the fuck cares about that cat lady with no eyebrows? Who cares? We're taking her opinion. And then, first of all, whoopi Goldberg is probably making money off royalties for shit, and she's lying to the public, saying she's a working person. She even said if I had millions of dollars, do you think you would see me on this show? And I want it to be like yes, because what else are you going to do? What else are you going to shave off? Your eyebrows haven't grown back. I don't think I've never seen a person. So, by the way, she looks good without them. She looks good without them.
Speaker 1:My thing is is that who cares about whoopi Goldberg? Also, my phone changed Whoopi Goldberg to Whooping Goldberg. Hey, iphones, get it together. And do you know why? Millions of dollars is made by that company. Billions, probably trillions I don't know what's above that but billions in the billions of dollars. And this is what autocorrect is doing. If you could change the word fuck to duck, you should recognize whoopie Goldberg, unless that's like some petty slights in which you don't want to let me spell whoopie Goldberg because you don't like her. Maybe she's an Android user and they have a thing against her, who knows? But don't change my shit to whooping Goldberg. You know what I meant. You know exactly what I meant, but don't change my shit to whooping Goldberg. You know what I meant. You know exactly what I meant.
Speaker 1:So another thing after we're done with that rant on fucking politics, celebrities and family, because my mom was like this is what. This is what ended it. So this was the end all be all of the conversation that made me laugh so fucking hard. She goes. I'm not even listening or responding to her because she didn't vote. She goes. Her opinion's not valid on anything political because she didn't vote. And the funny thing is is that my mom is right, because there's no reason why she didn't vote. Okay, they set that shit up in the basement like not basement, the lobby of her apartment building. She could have went downstairs naked and voted Not that anyone would have wanted to see that, but like she could have went downstairs nakedly, trotting her way down there whatever, pulled the lever for justice and fucking went back upstairs in an elevator. She's not even climbing stairs, she's in an elevator.
Speaker 1:Bitch, you're taking an electric way of movement and fucking justice pull, just like that. An American justice pull. Sorry, if you hear all that noise, that's me moving in my chair. This is why I do it from the couch, so y'all can't hear me. But I feel like there's a lot more. It's a lot more condensed, sound wise in here. But we'll see. We'll see, oh God.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So American justice pool. What the fuck Phone? You're not going to tell me that's not my passcode to get into my phone, all right. So there's another thing that happened this week, and it was this week. So I didn't have much traffic last week in my mind, except for my grandmother saying crazy shit about celebrities. So let me tell you something there is hanger in this world and there's having conversation when appropriate, all right. So here's what happened, and I'm going to tell you this story from my side, because I don't know what this person was thinking.
Speaker 1:So I? Um, since I'm still fairly new in my position, it hasn't even been a month yet. I don't think. I think next Monday will be a month since I came into this role. Sorry, I have to just click for justice here. No, I'm kidding, I have to click to make sure it looks like I'm active even though I'm not doing shit. Um, I literally don't have anything to do. Yet they have me sitting here looking at videos and all this other shit and I literally have nothing to do. So there's that. So I was.
Speaker 1:So I slowly but surely introduced myself to people. I've already spoken to this one dude. His name's James. He's really cool. He's another reporting rep. I was told as soon as I got my desk that he would be really excited that another reporting person was going to be sitting over here, so that he would have someone, I guess, to talk to or bounce ideas off of whatever. So I was excited for that. And then he comes over. He's really really nice but really unobservant.
Speaker 1:So one day I was I think it was Monday, yeah, it was Monday. So Monday I sit at my desk to eat. Okay, I would like to be the type of person that, just you know, fucks off for my 30 minutes. But I can't do that. I like to just be in a space where I'm comfortable, because if I go outside and eat in my car I'm leaving, and I've already told people that too. I'm like, oh, that's a risky game. You're playing my coworker Austin. He's like that's risky. You're playing like 50-50 chance of not coming back. So to me I think it's real risky that you're going outside to take a break and, just like you know, breathing in the air of freedom, and then having to go back inside to deal with nonsense. Because I still see my old teams chat. They're fucking. It's crazy for it not being year end that they're dealing with all the shit they're dealing with.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, I warmed up my food in the break room, I came back and, uh, I came back to sit down with my food. It was seasoned perfectly, like I salted it correctly, and all that. It was turkey tenderloins with sweet, with mashed sweet potato my fucking favorite from lean cuisine right now. That's one of the ones I'd be rocking with. So I sit down at my desk, I have my drink. I'm about to pop open my fucking LaCroix. Ooh, I have the limoncello ones. I got to try. I have too much LaCroix right now. I keep forgetting when I order groceries that I order a case of LaCroix every time. I have two, four fucking cases of LaCroix two lime, one lemon, one limoncello. I have too much and not enough room in my fridge because I finally restocked everything.
Speaker 1:So we're busy. We're busy in the fridge, so I'm sitting down about to pop open my LaCroix excuse me and he comes over and he starts talking to me like this is him introducing himself to me. So this is like day one of me meeting this person. Very nice but, like I said, very unobservant. So I'm sitting there and he's like hey, my name's James. I didn't catch it in the beginning row.
Speaker 1:I had to literally get up Tuesday to see his, his name played on his desk to be like oh, that's what his name is, Because I don't, I don't even remember. I don't even remember if he fucking introduced himself or not, like by name. I think he just came up and was like oh, are you introduced himself or not? Like by name. I think he just came up and was like oh, are you Corinne? I'm like yeah, and he's like, oh, okay, you're another reporting rep. And I'm like yep, and he's like oh okay, and then just word diarrhea for like five minutes. Do you know how long that is? In food years, that's perfect temp, then room temp. Then this is going to taste like you just refrigerated it. Microwavable food does not last long in air in room settings once you've warmed it up.
Speaker 1:So while this man is, you know, talking, talking, talking, I think I get a break to like take a fork full of something and then he starts talking again. I got to put it down. I'm like, oh my God. So I'm just sitting there, I'm wide eyeing him. He's staring me in my fucking brain. It looks like that's how hard. He's like looking into my face and I'm staring back like bitch if we had lasers, we would set this whole place off. And back, like bitch, if we had lasers, we would set this whole place off. And he's talking and talking. I'm like, oh yeah, that's really cool. Yep, yep, doing the whole thing. Like wow, what? Like I'm listening.
Speaker 1:But I'm also like bro, I'm trying to eat. Bro, I'm trying to eat. Like you see the food in front of me, do you? I'm dying, I want to eat my food. So then of course, he just like he goes away and I've. He's real happy with himself. And then I'm just looking down like you're going to be a pathetic piece of shit, aren't you? To my lean cuisine.
Speaker 1:I was like what a travesty of a day. It's a Monday, it's slow as fuck. Already. I'm going to be in some training for the rest of the day, which turned out you know what it turned out to be okay with the training, because it was over a three. I thought I was going to have to stay till five, like every day. No, we were good. We were definitely okay. So again, very nice.
Speaker 1:But please, man, if you see food up like I'm literally about to just get a sign at my desk that says on lunch and just stick it over my thing, I think I had that, oh my God. Yeah, I used to do that at Valley View, the nursing home in Goshen. That's so hilarious. I just remember that I made a name play for myself because whenever I would step away, people would come up to my desk and leave me notes like hey, where were you? And of course I don't. You know you're an adult, you don't have to tell your manager when you go to lunch, you just go. So I'm just going to make a little thing for my desk that says on lunch, and I'm going to hang it there on that, on the little glass thing, so that people can see it and not come up to me, because people do that all the time. The only people that didn't do that were my previous team, because they knew if I was eating not the time. So maybe I'll just do that. Maybe that would just be easier. It would just solve so many problems and then just don't come up to me when I'm trying to eat.
Speaker 1:Okay so, uh, that day, I think on my way home, was hilarious, because what the fuck was? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So I'm looking at these notes just trying to make sure that I know what the fuck's going on. Okay, yeah, so this is going to be good. So I was driving home Monday Sorry, I'm making myself laugh because I'm so stupid I was making my way home on Monday and I was like, oh okay, traffic's going to be ridiculous on a Monday, which it always is.
Speaker 1:It's not a surprise to me. What was a surprise was yesterday, because I got home on a timely fashion and I was like, no fucking way, because I had to take a detour. So that's what pissed me off on my way home Monday was because Waze doesn't update its ass to know that detours are there. So I had to make a executive decision and go left instead of right yesterday, made it home on time. My food from Uber eats beat me home. That's hilarious. And then I didn't realize that TD bank does early pay. So I got paid. Um, I got paid early, two days early on fucking what you call it. I got paid yesterday and my payday is tomorrow. So that's cool, that's dope. Apparently, more banks are doing that now. I think that's like the plus side of direct deposit.
Speaker 1:I keep hearing weird noises. I'm forgetting, I'm doing laundry and I'm like come for it, ghost, no, anyway. So I was driving home Monday and, uh, there's a part that crosses over I-4, which is like the main highway that goes East to West of Florida. So I'm crossing over this, I'm on this overpass and I'm literally sorry I'm clicking in the background, so my bubble stays green, so nobody asked me shit. So, uh, um, I'm driving home. I know I've had a lot of work done on my car lately and he even the boyfriend even ran into the carwash, which was very nice. I got to do it again before we go to see my parents, because this weekend we were supposed to do my breaks, but I don't think that's going to happen, so, um, so, yeah. So I'm driving home very observant.
Speaker 1:I'm looking at everybody's car and I'm like God, that guy's car is so nice, like it's a little bit dirty, but it's nice. And of course he, this guy, has his hand out and I feel like, all right, this guy's already a douchebag. He's got his hand, his left hand, out the window. He's got a gold watch on, probably some kind of Rolex or something. He's got a gold watch on his hand is out the window and a stogie is in between his fingers, his pointer and his middle finger, like a dickhead. So he has a nice car, is dirty as shit. On the outside it's nice, though, besides the dirt, that's a very nice car. It's a Kia, something. Okay, that car has to smell so fucking bad on the inside. That car has to smell so fucking bad on the inside. So fucking bad on the inside Because if it hadn't been a nice day out, you know that guy would have had his windows up with the AC blowing the smoke of the cigar everywhere.
Speaker 1:So it got me thinking about what I would name that car and I decided to call it the 2020 Kia cigar. And I'm stupid for that, because who the fuck thinks of that? When they're sitting in traffic? Who the fuck thinks of just naming, naming cars, the the thing that's happening in them Like I don't know it was. It was just so weird but I was like wow, that's. I thought it was really funny at the time, but right now, thinking about it, I'm like wow, what a fool to sit in traffic Like hey, I just bought a 2020 Kia cigar and the horn sounds like you honk the horn and it's just a cough and it just wheezes when you put your foot on the gas, like that's how you accelerate. That's so stupid, because if you don't laugh in traffic, you're crying or you're singing the song from Malibu's Most Wanted. It's just traffic, traffic looking for my chapstick. That. That.
Speaker 1:That was my favorite part of that fucking movie. Besides the fact that he goes out of all the shorties I haven't been with you to finest. That's amazing. That movie's so dumb. That was like one of the jamie kennedy's, like top movies, I feel like. And then everything else went downhill and now he looks crazy. He looks like he ate jamie kennedy. I think my dad, my stepdad's favorite part of it was that Snoop Dogg was a rat named Ronnie Rizzat reprises that, that's what he used to say, anyway, so what a stupid movie.
Speaker 1:I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year and I have to say it's because I don't have to do anything this year. Last year my dad was in the hospital and because he was going through his leukemia stuff like this this this time last year there was shit happening that was so out of our control. It was crazy, and we were just like praying and hoping that things would work out. And it did. He does immunotherapy, uh, once a week, I think once a week or once a month, I'm not sure. I don't know the frequency, but he does immunotherapy and so far it's been working. So, uh, everything seems to be working out great, and the fact that I don't have to cook this year is even better.
Speaker 1:Last year I had to take over the duties because, uh, he was in the hospital and he was the one that does everything and my mom ended up ordering like a Publix, uh Turkey thing, like a Turkey dinner for like eight people. So I had to do basically everything and it was crazy, but I did it and, uh, I was tired and it it honestly made me sick at the end of the day, like I was so tired that we just got sick. Well, I did, he didn't. My boyfriend did not get sick. I got sick. I was enjoying the food and I was, like, on the way home I was like, oh my God, my stomach, like not crying, but just like holding my stomach, like please just let me get home. Like not crying, but just like holding my stomach, like please just let me get home. I don't want to shit my pants in a car. That's how bad I felt. But yeah, also, I'm really, really getting sick of having to, you know, deal with this whole.
Speaker 1:Stop with the politics and video games. Okay, just stopped. All right, I'm done with it. Okay, my server is not a place for that. Okay, let's just be chill and play video games. All right, everybody's entitled to an opinion, but we're not doing that, all right.
Speaker 1:So I am laughing because one of my close people who listens to this podcast started referencing, you know, gender fluidity. Ok, I am not entertaining that conversation. Ok, I'm not entertaining that thought process. Stop it. Stop it right now. And you should know by now that we're not doing that here and I love you, but we're not doing that here and we're not doing that here and I love you but we're not doing that here and we're not doing that here. So I'm not going to keep telling you Okay, just come in, let's play video games, be cool. You'll probably be butthurt because I put it in this episode, but that's fine, because you know me by now and you know I say it out of love. But cut it out. Cut it out.
Speaker 1:Poor David Coulier and his fucking cancer, by the way. And what's crazy about that is that he is so ready to just be done with life that that guy is my fucking hero. And could you imagine? Could you imagine that John Stamos is getting flack for wearing a bald cap for Dave Coulier? Let's take a gander at this. Also, stop with the politics. We're done with it. The election happened is cool, let's move on. Moving on to Dave Coulier, let's see, he's 61. That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Um, so recently Dave Coulier came out and stated that he is going through, obviously, a stage three, not Hodgkin's lymphoma. So, in support of his friend, because they were in fucking full house together uh, john Stamos was wearing a bald cap, okay, and posted in a picture with like posed in a picture with him. So of course, dave Coulier has to tell everyone politely to shut the fuck up, because that's his friend. So Dave Coulier defends John Stamos against negative comments for wearing bald cap in support of co-star's cancer journey. True loving friend, john knows how to cheer me up and I laughed out loud when he arrived wearing a bald cap. Being a true loving friend and brother, coulier wrote on Instagram Dave Coulier isn't tolerating any hate. This is what the fuck needs to happen. This is what the fuck needs to happen. There's too many celebrities that come for each other and then there's this shit, and this is why they were on Full House together. This is it.
Speaker 1:On Tuesday, november 19thth, the comedic actor defended former full house co-star john stamos on instagram after backlash erupted the day prior over a series of photos. The pair shared. The images featured john I can't read the images featured stamos, 61, wearing a bald cap to support coulier, 65, amid his cancer journey, leading some people to call out the general hospital alum for being insensitive, since he could take the cap off and have his hair back. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry to see a bunch of negative comments as I've just begun my cancer journey. Kuye's post began. It's our friendship, me and John, and this is how we're handling a very tough time. I'm a comedian and humor's what drives me. I know John. John knows how to cheer me up and I laughed out loud when he arrived wearing a bald cap, being a true loving friend and brother. I've heard from so many people who have been inspired enough by my words and actions to say that they are going to check in with their doctors and get mammograms, a colonoscopy or a prostate exam. He continued I'm still going to laugh in the face of adversity. When I lost my sister Sharon, my mother Arlen, arlen or Arlene, I don't know and my niece Shannon to cancer, we tried to stay positive and we made each other laugh through the worst of it. I'm choosing to spread the word about early cancer detection to help people. That's just who I am. Kuye, who also turned the comments off on the post, concluded I wish nothing but love for all of you.
Speaker 1:Stamos shared the photos of him in the bald cap alongside Kuye on November 18th. The post also included images of Stamos shaving his longtime friend's head and posing with Coulier and his wife Melissa. Nothing like throwing on a bald cap and flexing some Photoshop skills to show some love and solidarity with my bro at D Coulier. Stamos wrote in the caption you're handling this with so much strength and positivity. It's inspiring. I know you're going to get through this and I'm proud to stand with you every step of the way. I love you. Ps. Melissa Kouya is the most wonderfulest, your true lifeline, he added.
Speaker 1:The comments were quickly flooded with criticism, with one person writing so he's not really supporting him. He's posing, posting for a photo op. Another commented oh, but really at John Stamos, you didn't shave your head with him. Unfortunately, this isn't brotherhood. Your hair isn't that important. Coming from someone who has good hair, I would never not shave my head. In true solidarity. People also came to Stamos' defense, with some noting that he can't shave his head due to his acting jobs and others sharing their own experiences. As someone who has had cancer three times, I never wanted anyone to shave their head for me. I think this is great and hilarious and I'm sure Dave didn't really want him to shave his head.
Speaker 1:Couillet revealed his stage three non-Hodgkin lymphoma diagnosis on November 13th. He shared that an upper respiratory infection on October led him to get tested. He would eventually be diagnosed with cancer. Three days later my doctors called me back and they said we wish we had better news for you, but you have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and it's called B-cell and it's very aggressive. I went from I got a little bit of a head cold to I have cancer and it was pretty overwhelming. This has been a really fast, rollercoaster ride of a journey.
Speaker 1:After receiving the news, he shared the information with his full house family, including Stamos, candace Cameron Burr, andrea Barber, jodi Sweeten, lori Loughlin, scott Weinger and series creator Jeff Franklin. I didn't want them to hear it from someone else, so I sent the text message out, the actor explained, adding that their response from everyone was immediate. It was just this outpouring of I'll be there, you just name the time, and I know you're in great hands with Mel. But what can we do? It really is overwhelming the love we have for each other. We've been there for so many years of each other and it's pretty remarkable.
Speaker 1:Everybody needs to mind their fucking business. You know what I mean. Like you already know, john Stamos wasn't going to shave his head, and if they have a personal inside joke they want to share with you, you should fucking be accepting and receptive as an audience of what people are trying to do. I know that if a friend of mine had cancer, I'm not going to shave my head and it's not out of selfishness. But they know me and they know I don't look good bald. So that's the number one thing. I actually saw myself in a Snapchat filter of being bald and I look like my fucking uncle. So don't ask me to do that, because I'm not going to do it. I'll be like look, bruh, where's the bald cap at?
Speaker 1:But here's the other thing why I don't understand why people use social media in such a toxic manner and bring people down. That's why, like that was the oh my God. So the other toxic behavior is throwing shit at celebrities. Did anyone else remember that when people were just fucking attending concerts and throwing shit and hurting celebrities on stages while either they performed or spoke or whatever? This is the same thing. You're throwing bottles of toxic sludge at celebrities who are sharing a special moment with you.
Speaker 1:And get over it that he didn't shave his head for his friend. When I look at that, I'm like holy shit, he shaved his head and he was like no bald cap. And I was like, oh my God, thank God, who would want to see John Stamos bald? Who's looking for that? I'm not looking for that, nobody's looking for that. So, like if Dave Coulier and John Stamos have an understanding, just fucking keep scrolling, you pieces of shit. Stop being pieces of shit, just be cool, scroll through a post and be like, oh my God, that's really sad, dave Coulier has cancer and move on with your day. Not, oh fuck, john Stamos, he didn't shave his head for his friend. Like, oh my God, the two things are never you know, never in conjunction with each other. Like one thing can be without the other. Like the two things don't need to be together. We don't need someone.
Speaker 1:People on the pros side and on the cons side of everything Just be chill. Just be chill. This has to be some bored group of people. I could not believe that this is my generation doing that shit. I cannot, because my generation is tired. Do you know why? Because we work all the time. We don't have time to make these sassy remarks. My generation is me basically reading this shit and going what's wrong with people. That has to be it. Because I'm telling you or maybe it's just my family Because I'm telling you, if I brought this to my mother's attention, she would be like who cares?
Speaker 1:My mother would be like who the fuck cares that John Stamos didn't shave his head? Huh, who cares? Nobody. And that's my tagline, bro. When anyone brings a problem to me, I'm so in the mode of who cares. It's not even funny, bro. You ask me something like the thing with George with the overthinking of the email. My thing with the who cares sentence is crazy. Every, every phrase of the sentence is who cares, because who cares and who cares and who cares doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Stop attacking celebrities before we have nothing to watch anymore, before we have nothing to do on social media, but see recipes and then criticize those recipes. Oh, you should do that Like. I've posted shit on TikTok before about stuff I've cooked. And let me tell you something, I'm my own worst critic anyway. So if I post something on TikTok, it's because I want to share it with no other thing than oh, look at that, that's cool.
Speaker 1:So I made something one day and someone commented on how I made my, how I did my breading for my cutlets, and they're like oh, next time you should blah, blah, blah, so it doesn't fall apart. And you know what I said to them. I was like thank you, I'll try the next time. Like why don't we just pretend, just play the game with each other, play the social media game. Stop fucking being hateful. And you know I need to. You know I need them to know that this is wrong. That's not how shit works in life. That makes people afraid to try anything or do anything because they already know they're going to fail, because there's people out there hoping against them, pushing back, saying you suck, stop doing it, stop Unnecessary, anyway. So like it's just, it's just enough.
Speaker 1:Like poor fucking Dave Coulier and fucking John Stamos trying to do something cutesy and funny and someone turns it into some stupid shit oh, he didn't really shave his head for him. Fuck John Stamos. And it's never going to be fuck John Stamos. I'm sorry to tell you. It's never going to be fuck John Stamos. You know why? Because he looks how he looks Him and Rob Lowe. Never going to be fuck him. Or Rob Lowe. Because you know why they look how they look. They're funny and they make good shit.
Speaker 1:Fucking watch Full House. God damn it if you don't get it. Just fucking watch Full House, god damn. This fucking chair is so loud. I'm getting so mad, also me feeling old, uh, aging myself with fucking full house.
Speaker 1:By the way, I'm tired of people abbreviating shit that does not need to be abbreviated. I saw on Facebook the other day, uh, one of my friends that I used to party with. She's in my age range. Okay, so I get it. Uh, I'm 35. I don't even know how old she is. I think she's younger. She's recently married with a kid, and why are we posting abbreviations for shit when we could just use other words? I saw her post I S O, uggs connect. Post ISO, uggs Connect. So me being me and being old, you know I had to look it up. So I looked it up. And ISO means in search of I've never used it before. If you've used that phrase for like, if you use that abbreviation before, this't for you. I S O in search of Uggs connect. So I looked it up, got in search of. Just say you need to know someone who knows someone. Just say I need an Uggs connect.
Speaker 1:We're going to be speaking in abbreviations one day and it's just going to be so intolerable I'm going to end it, going to end it for myself and be like this is the last chapter of my life. This is the last page of the last chapter of my life and it's going to be called I'm done. And it's because someone probably said, and it's because someone probably said IMO, iso, asap, fyi, like some stupid shit to me and I'm just going to be like bang and that's it, not them myself, because I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it anymore. You're not going to keep fucking. There's so many things.
Speaker 1:I watched this streamer. His name's Sonny Sunset. He's so fucking funny. He uses so much lingo where I'm like, yeah, I'm old, and then I forget he's 26 and I'm like I'm real old Cause. I'm like what is he saying?
Speaker 1:What is this? I have to go on urban dictionary like a fucking old lady in a library in the middle of the night trying to figure shit out. In a library in the middle of the night trying to figure shit out. I'm like what does cooked mean? I know perma-fried, because I'm just like you know what it feels like. It feels like when you, when you get Rosetta Stone and you're learning words individually and then you hear people use it enough that you start to figure out what it is. That's what it is for me. I'm like oh fuck, that's what that means. Yes, figured it out. I'm like hell. Yeah, now I know what it means. Awesome, awesome, you know. Just like, really quickly over it, like fuck, yeah, figuring it out. What a jackass I am. Oh, man, but yeah, stop using, stop doing this shit.
Speaker 1:We need to use words. You know how we don't use script anymore, or cursive as they say, but I had to learn it in fucking what was it? Middle school or yeah, I think it was middle school. By the way, still waiting to hear back from the world trade registry, from all the information I sent them. Haven't heard back yet. Fine, so stop using abbreviations, because that's all we're going to be speaking in.
Speaker 1:Just like how we don't use any kind of math. We learned who's using A squared plus B squared equals C squared to Pythagorean theorem their way out of life. Who's using it? I don't have any engineer friends to tell me what math they're using to build buildings or structures or anything like that. I don't know who's still using it, and I love that whole thing of you know teachers used to say you're never going to have a calculator in your pocket all the time. Yes, the fuck, we do. You know what we got Apple. You know what we got Android. You know what we got Samsung. We have all the shits now where we'll never need a calculator outside of our phone ever again, unless you're taking some kind of testing where you can't have your phone in front of you. Then you'll need to get like a Texas instrument, something, something, point oh, and then that's fine. But it's also. Don't you fucking go to sleep computer. I am still here. Sorry, my work computer tried to go night nights. But yeah, the Texas Instrument days. You know who's keeping them in? The business Schools, schools and, like I said, maybe engineers, because I don't know anybody who's using that shit. I really don't. But yeah, so fucking fuck you. Texas Instrument. Those were the most expensive shits.
Speaker 1:When I was in school used to be like, hey, at least the best thing about going to school was at least they gave you specifically down to the, the detail, the slightest detail, version line point, whatever that you needed to have for paper pencils. What was that? You needed like a 2.0 pencil or some shit, I forget it the lead type. The lead type was what you needed because they wouldn't accept anything else, which is insane, because we all use whatever we want anyway. I think that's where my pen obsession began. But down to the lead, down to the lead type of the pencil, okay. And then, if you want it to be cool and jazz up your life, you would get a pen case and a whole bunch of other shit and then go to school and be like, hey, look at my fucking Jan sport, isn't it cute when you were kids. Now it's like, oh my God, I need that Michael Kors or I need that coach, or like I need coach, I have a Dooney and Burke. I love it. It's huge.
Speaker 1:Now, and what's funny is I've just figured out that I'm starting to carry less and less, because I have a book bag for work now and all my extracurricular shit, like my puzzle books and my book that I like to read. I'm reading the Court of Thorns and Roses series right now and I'm on the second book. I really need to get back into reading, by the way, because that book is just getting beat up in that backpack for no reason. I keep that shit in that backpack along with my laptop headphones and multiple mice wireless mice that I've been using lately. They're all in that bag. So we're there. Yeah. So thank God for schools with their very detailed school supply list that you had to get. And here's the worst part, though the the longer you waited to get your supplies for school, the more that shit looked like a heist happened, like Walmart, staples, all that shit. They're like, yeah, we haven't restocked yet, and I'm like but you know, we're all starting school, right, you know that this is happening. Why aren't you guys prepared?
Speaker 1:I think that's where my frustration with lack of preparedness began. Even though I was the biggest procrastinator I still am, but I don't need my parents to help me do anything like science projects and shit Like when you. I don't know if I forgot because I didn't care about it or I just forgot because I forgot, as being a kid is, but I always used to forget to tell my mom about science projects, and then I had to pull something out of my ass like the day before Anybody else do that. One day I fucking, oh my God, in like third grade, I made a science project about water waves, and you know what I did? I pulled out a fucking aluminum tray like one of those casserole things and I put water in it and I was like look, throw the stone in, see how the pebbles create waves. That was my project and I passed. That was my project and I passed. It was the simplest, most non preparedness of fucking projects there ever was. And now look at me. Now look at me.
Speaker 1:I have my own podcast now where I can't shut the fuck up. Meanwhile, I was always a terrible communications expert. Well, I took a class on speech in college and it didn't do much, it just made me sweaty. I've never been comfortable with people staring directly at me while I'm talking Probably why I do this shit so that nobody can see me. But I do want to add a video aspect to it at some point so you guys can see my face. But I don't think I'm ready for that yet.
Speaker 1:I do have to get back into streaming, though. I keep saying it. I think next Wednesday is going to be the day, so I might do. I'm going to do a day stream and just chill, so I think that'll be cool. If anyone wants to stop by, you can stop by. I put my name, my Twitch name, in everything, every episode, I think, or I'm going to. But come on by, I think that'll be cool. Everybody say hello, give a follow, just hang out. I think I'm going to play something slow. I'm probably going to play something like story-based so that I can chill and talk to people that come in. Um, I love a good story game, so that's going to be cool. The phone, no, that's outside. Okay.
Speaker 1:So I had another question. I wanted to ask you guys this shit. Not that you're going to be able to answer me, but I noticed this in my team chat last week. Yeah, last week, while I was working from home, someone pinged in my new team chat uh, asking if anyone had any uh toothpaste or mouthwash, asking if anyone had any toothpaste or mouthwash. And I was like, are people really brushing their teeth at work? Is this really a thing? I didn't think so and I, you know, do whatever you want hygiene wise.
Speaker 1:Like lately, I have been brushing my teeth twice a day. I know that's really stupid to admit, but I've had bad teeth hygiene habits and I'm trying to get better with it. I'm telling you that app Lemon 8 has me on such a chokehold bruh. I just got a new electric toothbrush and I bought mouthwash. I've been doing that twice a day. I might see you feel crazy.
Speaker 1:Like even my gums are like what the fuck's going on with your buddy. What the fuck is going on here, buddy? Um, shut up. Sorry, I got a text. Uh, okay, shut up, though. And then game updates on my phone. Stop it, bruh.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't know for me. I can't brush my teeth at work. I think that's too much. Um, unless you get, stop it. Unless you get, uh, so, in the in the ladies room. So I'm going to explain the layout. There's about, I think there's Five stalls, five regular ones, and then there's the, the bigger one that includes its own sink.
Speaker 1:All right, the only way that brushing your teeth at work is acceptable is if, um, the only way brushing your teeth at work is acceptable is if you get that one, if you get that stall, okay. And the only reason why I say that is because it's private and I don't want to see you brush your teeth at work. Um, you might not have gunk in there, but if I see something fall out of your mouth with that toothbrush, I'm going to throw up on you. I'm going to walk up to you and tap you on the shoulder and fucking throw up on your face. And that's what's happening, because how dare you bring your home habits into your office? You know like I get it. You want to be clean and shit, but are you making out with anyone after lunch? You're not making out with anyone. You shouldn't even be that close to somebody that they can smell your breath like that. Like, I've been next to people who I fucking know for sure have not brushed their teeth after lunch and their breath does not smell. So what are you doing? Like you know, the only, like I said, the only probable way that I would accept that happening is if you get the stall with the sink in it, because I will voluntarily walk up to you and go hey, did you just, um, did you just brush your teeth? Um, I think I saw a little something, something in the sink. It'd be like oh yeah, you know I had such and such for, and I'd be like this Okay, hang on a second, stick my finger down my throat and go all over them, cause that's what you deserve. I don't want to see a Scooby snack fall out of your fucking mouth. Okay, leave that shit at home. Do a little flossy floss action and pick the garbage out. No, do it at home. Keep it to yourself. Do it at home. That's a no-no for me. Get in the stall with the sink, because if you're at the communal sink area, if you see that that stall is not available, wait to brush your teeth until fucking it's available. That's it.
Speaker 1:And I realized something else considering that this is now heading in a work-related manner, even though I have no clients whatever, I still be just chit-chatting about work. It's very chill right now. I'm very chilling. I was laughing because I'm making quite the impression at work, I guess, because I just I'm being like super chill about everything and hold on a second. What the fuck's going on here? Why is it acting like it's not connected? It is connected. Um, it's so silly to me because if the, if the sound quality on this shit is fucked, then we're fucked and that's it. But I think we should be good, we'll see. I have that magic mixer on. I'm going to be so pissed off if this sounds like shit, to be honest with you, but the thing isn't blinking, so it has to be connected. Anyway.
Speaker 1:So I just realized that I like to play around with my phrasing with people and I realized that that's the impression I'm making on people at work, that I just like to play. And the reason I like to play is because what else am I doing so like. I had a conversation with my manager yesterday. It was my first one-on-one with her. I made them Wednesdays at like 1130 so that we could have some chill time and she's very nice. She's very cute, very tiny. We bombed in on video games and stuff and I just realized you know everything I say to people in this office now it's very much for play. Like I just play with people, like I'm like oh yeah, like being cute and shit, like, yeah, that sounds really fucking annoying, but it's just. You know, I can't be serious all the time, otherwise I won't make it to breath. I will not fucking make it in this place. So I have a lot of fun. I talk to people.
Speaker 1:There's this one chick though that you know older lady, that really just gets me so mad because it's like hey man, can you just be cool? Why do you keep looking over here? Like she keeps looking at my direction, which isn't at me, okay, but again I keep catching her eyes. She's looking at the person behind me who is supporting her while she's working, which is like another person just answering questions for you, and it's just bruh. Bruh, just fucking stop looking this way, cause I don't know who you're looking at and you're driving me crazy, like cause I keep looking at her and I'm like, oops, like I have to make this, oops, I'm sorry face. And she just does it all the time she goes. And what's funny is she's like you know she's going to be so happy to get sick of us. We are, so I'm so sorry that you have to deal with how loud we are. And I'm like, oh, my God, bro. So I look at her and she goes. She's so quiet over there and we're making so much noise and I'm like, oh, you're so cute. Do you think I'm quiet? Oh, child, you're older than me, but I'm going to call you old child. I'm not quiet, I just don't know you or like you.
Speaker 1:Yet, like yesterday she had this long ass, she had this loud ass conversation about how, oh, I raised my kids on my own because I didn't have a husband and I was like, oh, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking shit. And I told a coworker of mine named Jamar and he's like, tell her to save it for Christmas party, which seems like that's the only place that that's appropriate is when you're drunk. I don't believe she was drunk at work. If she was, praise her, because that's amazing. Praise her for doing that the right way. I love a good drunk lady at fucking Christmas parties. They always got the best fucking stories.
Speaker 1:I really don't know why this thing is blinking at me. I'm really hoping the shit stayed connected, otherwise I don't know what the sound quality is going to be like. I'm going to be really pissed off. But yeah, that lady was so loud. She was like well, you know, if you have to like not even just a loud about her shit, loud about the other lady too. Apparently, I just learned from the fact that this lady is pumping breast milk is because this lady is just shouting her shit out. Hey, this meeting is not until that. That that. So if you have to go pump, go pump, lady. Give everyone a break. Give everyone a break. Just sit down and work.
Speaker 1:All right, just be sit down and be pissed off that this internet is cycling, like the rest of us, and stop talking about other people's shit. Like that's so crazy to me. Like bro, we are not here for you to talk about other people's shit. Like that's so crazy to me. Like bro, we are not here for you to talk about other people's business. All right, so figure it out, settle down. Sit down, be quiet, be serene. Be someone who I want to sit near how about that? Be someone who I want to sit near with whatever, or someone who I want to entertain their fucking conversation, because every time she looks at me, I like have a headphone in and she's like stop looking at me, just stop looking in my direction. I'm just going to keep my head down until you fucking know my name. Say it and look at me. All right, all right, let's get it together. Also, save all your drama for Christmas. I'm going to sit next to you. Hear all of it.
Speaker 1:Oh, yesterday, during lunch lunch, hmm, this was so good. I have to end it with this one. I didn't think this was gonna be a long one this time. Uh, I was laughing because I, you know, I grabbed my little lean cuisine. I fucking just sit down. I mean, I microwaved my little lean cuisine.
Speaker 1:This lady came over with like an aluminum foil casserole dish and she fucking starts. You know, I was like, oh cool, she brought like that might be leftovers from like something. Like maybe she brought some lunch for her and someone else. No, bruh, that entire fucking casserole dish thing was her lunch. And I'm like ma'am. I want it to be like ma'am. You know, tupperware exists, tupperwares exist. If it doesn't fit in one, there's plenty of other ones you could have bought to. You know, compensate for that. Sorry, I couldn't think of the word. But like she brought like that nine by 13 casserole thing. It was deep and I was like oh God. So she pulled out like it looked like Turkey, like Turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and shit. And I'm like you know Thanksgiving's last, like next week, is this from last Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1:I was just like Whoa bro, how you bringing a whole thing like that. You obviously know everybody's going to be staring at you because it looks like this should be like a dinner for four and it's just for you. And it's little scoopings. It's not even enough to fill the casserole dish. It's little scoopings of her lunch. I'm like where did she even come from? Did she even put that in the fridge? Like I had so many questions and I was just like you know what Life is going to be? Life, I guess. And I'm like I guess I'm just dealing with life as everybody else is. Because I guess and I'm like I guess I'm just dealing with life as everybody else is, cause.
Speaker 1:Then my other thing was is that the boyfriend sent me a Tik TOK, hilariously enough, and it had some guy getting a Baskin Robbins Turkey, like, apparently Baskin Robbins does this thing, that where they will make a Turkey that looks like ice cream in the shape of a Turkey. It's crazy. And it's got the brown outside which I'm guessing is like a hardened caramel shell and whatever flavor of ice cream you want in the middle, so it legitimately looks like a fucking Turkey. My problem is not that, because that would be a cool ass dessert. My problem is the fact that he had it in a car, number one, so that shit is slowly melting while he's talking. And number two, excuse me, number two, dry up over here. Number two fucking straw, stop hitting my fucking computer monitor, you're making it sticky. Um, number two he's, he's fucking. He pulls out actual Thanksgiving sides. He's fucking. He pulls out actual Thanksgiving sides, all right.
Speaker 1:So it's not the fact that he's going to eat dessert, it's the fact that he is combining that with actual mashed potatoes, corn gravy stuffing. Sir, this is Big Mac activities. Show us like. What he could have done was he could have made that shit look like dessert as well. Like if Baskin Robbins does like some dessert, like that shit, and they have something that looks like fake mashed potatoes or fake corn or fake gravy. Why are you combining the meal with the dessert at the same time? That's some big back activity. Anyway, it just made me so sick. I was like I was on board. I was on board Maybe not with the flavor of ice cream you chose.
Speaker 1:You chose chocolate chip, like a little freak, because in a turkey you would never see brown spots like that, black spots like that, and if you do, you should throw that turkey out and go to the hospital. But like no, we're not mixing ice cream turkey with fucking. We're not mixing ice cream turkey with fucking real mashed potatoes, real corn, real gravy, real stuffing. It's not. It's not how it's going to work. And you're also not going to eat that in the car, because that shit should be slip sliding all over the place.
Speaker 1:And you should have seen the fucking knife he pulled out. It was like he was a goddamn samurai and he couldn't even cut through it. He goes damn Timu knife. And I'm like why are you buying cutlery off Timu? Go to the store like regular people or you know why are you carrying a knife in your car to cut ice cream. Unbelievable. Excuse me, my throat gets a little dry, um, but yeah, so that guy, I don't know, I didn't even finish it, I was just so disgusted. I was like, all right, that's too much. But so people be acting up, I guess, around the holidays. Um, we are almost in the last month of the year. I think that's crazy. Um, I'm not changing shit about myself. So everybody forget it. New Year's resolutions everybody forget it.
Speaker 1:So I love y'all for listening. Thank you so much and I'm going to try, and you know, keep these going on Thursdays. I am going to record next Wednesday so that I can put it out on Thanksgiving. You obviously don't have to listen to it until you feel like it, but I am not going to skip a day because of a holiday and if I do, I'm going to find like an old episode of something else to stick in between, because I found all my episodes from my other podcast and that's just hilarious. I couldn't even believe I found all of them, which is so funny. I got to figure out what the connection issues is with this fucking lavalier mic, but I'll catch on next week. Really, love you, guys and I hope you had fun listening and enjoyed this time. I really enjoy spending time with you all. You have a great rest of your day and enjoy your upcoming weekends, and I'll see you next week. Love you guys, bye.
