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Coco Off the Grid
Let's go off the grid and get silly with today's headlines, work dramas and the unexplainable actions of others.
Close your blinds, shut off your lights and put your phones on airplane mode because it's time to join me for another episode of "Coco Off the Grid."
Coco Off the Grid
Corncob Richard
This week's episode dives into the highs and lows of the holiday season, touching on cherished family memories, the stress of gift-giving, and the predictability of celebratory meals. Throughout the discussion, we reflect on personal experiences and highlight the importance of relaxation and gratitude amidst life’s chaotic moments.
• Navigating the pressure of gift-giving during the holidays
• Frequent family dinners and the predictable restaurant choices
• Finding time for relaxation amid holiday chaos
• Cherishing memories of family members who are no longer with us
• Light-hearted discussions about humorous family moments
• Setting intentions and resolutions for the upcoming year
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what's up people? We are at another week of nonsense. It's been a great week so far. Happy Thursday. Today is the day after Christmas. I hope everybody had a good holiday, no matter what you celebrated yesterday. I think yesterday was the first day of Hanukkah. For my Jewish people out there, and for those who celebrate, I should say, and for everybody else, it was Christmas. I'm not sure about dates for Kwanzaa or anything like that, so forgive me, but I hope everybody had a fabulous Christmas.
Speaker 1:Sorry if you heard that noise, but I had to address the mic here, and every time I do that, something dang in my ear. Sorry about that, but I wanted to make sure that I sounded loud enough for you guys, because for some reason, it sounded really quiet. Last time I listened back for a few minutes and it wasn't as loud. I wasn't as loud as when I started the episode, as when I got towards the end of it, so I'm hoping that this is a little better. I have a couple of things I want to talk about, some things I might have to look at. I hope I don't have to, okay.
Speaker 1:So again, opening presents has always been a thing that my family treasures most, and we used to get up really stupid early, when we obviously all lived in the same house. All of us live in different places. Now I live two hours away from my family. My two sisters are in college now, so they're home for I think like a month or so are in college now, so they're home for I think like a month or so. My sister keeps telling me that she's going back.
Speaker 1:I think the second week, yeah, the second week in January. I think that's yeah. Second week in January, which is the week of the 6th. I am having a great time being home for the holidays. Obviously, I don't have anyone visiting, but that's fine.
Speaker 1:I like it quiet in here. If you can't tell it's like deadly quiet in here. If you hear any noise in the background, I apologize. You shouldn't though, but if you do, I don't know what to tell you. Try not to move too much, because my chair makes noise. Everything makes fucking noise when I don't want it to. Even my appliances bully me. Every time I make something, it's always like it beeps with the utmost urgency, like I'm not in the other room, which is really fucking annoying. So let's see. Oh, by the way, I've already noticed that I did take a couple of days off from working out because I think I hurt myself a little bit. I'm starting to feel a little better. I might work out today later after I see my uncle for dinner.
Speaker 1:It's a family thing this time. So how unfortunate the boyfriend can't come is very annoying to me, but I guess it's fine, whatever. I guess he just wants it to be blood family. I don't know, I don't fucking know. He never does this shit. So I'm like concerned. But the boyfriend translated the text and it just seems like it's just a family, family thing today and he was cool. He was very calm about it, which is nice, because you know, stuff like that makes me anxious. I don't know what that is. It's probably past trauma, but I'm not trying to bring that into this shit. So I'm like are you sure it's OK? Like I hate doing that, but I wouldn't go, honestly, if I didn't feel like it was okay, because sometimes you know you want to be around family, but I don't want my uncle being weird. I think that's really weird Because my boyfriend's always around for everything and there's a reason for that. It's because I don't really like going places without him if he can come. But whatever, I guess that's not for me to say, especially because I'm not the one paying the bill, but in any case I'm relaxing, I am getting some games in, I am relaxing and watching shows and I'm feeling a lot better over the holidays.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, you know, you get a little stressed out with money and things and you know not being able to appease your parents the way they do you Like parents give their kids the world and the kids are like well, what the fuck are we supposed to get you Like? I literally asked my mother on her like the day before her birthday, like two days actually before her birthday. I'm like what the fuck do you even want for your birthday? She goes nothing, I just want to have dinner. I was like, say, a whole lot less bitch. We went to dinner. I gave her a card, a holiday card of myself and my boyfriend. She loved it. I'm waiting for my grandmother to get hers.
Speaker 1:Apparently, something's up with the USPS in New York because apparently my mother mailed cards out to her for her birthday and for Christmas and some other shit, like multiple cards, cause obviously some are going to come from the kids and some are going to come from my mother, so there's multiple things being sent out and my mom said she sent them out on the 12th, which today would be two weeks ago now. And it's like what the fuck do you mean? You have not gotten the cards yet. Like there's a check in there, there's money in there, someone took that shit. And then, of course, chris goes. You know you should check it to make sure it hasn't been cashed. You know we're going to have to figure it out and da-da-da. And then of course, it becomes a thing as always, because you know things can't just ever go correctly around the holidays when it comes to sending out cards.
Speaker 1:So there, my grandmother is sitting around, like you know, my aunt, she goes, I didn't get a card from Daneem. I haven't gotten a card from you guys yet. And I'm like bitch, I send mine out on Friday, which would still be enough time to like get there on time. But I don't know what's happening. I know my grandmother and my aunt, who are down here, got theirs already. They got them.
Speaker 1:Christmas Eve is when my grandmother told me and, like, my father's mother told me that she got hers. So I was like, yes, cool, I got there on super time, which is crazy Waiting for Laura to tell me whether or not she got hers. Dan hasn't told me whether he's gotten ours yet. I don't think I sent too many out, and then I'm waiting for the boyfriend's parents to confirm whether or not they got theirs. Couldn't think of anybody else to send them to, because we don't know people like that, like I'm not. I don't know that I would send them to the boyfriend's friends, but I don't know. Anyway, it's a choice. I guess it's personal. Sorry if you hear a noise, but I need to drink stuff, otherwise my throat gets really dry and then nothing I say makes sense, which wouldn't matter anyway. So hold on a second, dan. I'm recording, hold up. So of course, heped in and he's he's talking in discord. I had to mute myself. My bad Um. So I uh.
Speaker 1:So we went to Ruth's Chris for my mother's birthday, like I said, and I had to eat the weirdest combination of food to make sure that my stomach would would not be ill. You know what I mean. Like that I wouldn't actually get sick. So of course I'm like what can I eat? Because anytime I eat steak there, I am immediately ill afterwards, and it only happens when I eat steak Like I could eat. I think it's just the steak because, honestly, I was playing it real safe. We have a long drive back and it's just crazy because I enjoy their food or used to, or my body used to, but I had to play it safe. Me and the boyfriend had to play it safe because last time, for Thanksgiving, when we were there, which was about less than a month ago we ate our asses off for Thanksgiving and we got sick, both of us afterwards. He was sick because he was so full he felt like he was going to explode and I was sick because I did go explode.
Speaker 1:If I want to be really gross about it which I will because you guys listen so why not be gross? Why not be gross? So I had this is what I ate for dinner, which you guys are going to laugh. It's the weirdest combination of shit I've ever eaten for dinner, but I survived. So I guess if we ever go there, I'm going to have to pick light choices like fish or something. So I had crab cakes and potatoes au gratin for dinner. Now, when I tell you I've never married those two foods for dinner, it's weird. For dinner, it's weird. Also the fact that we keep going to that place is like filling me with such dread these days, like I love eating with my family, but we're picking the same restaurant so much I don't even have time to memorize the damn menu, because I don't want to. I don't want to remember anything about this place after I've eaten there, which is, you know, it's not a bad thing, it's just, hmm, maybe I just maybe there's too many other places to eat other than Ruth's Chris.
Speaker 1:Why is it that my parents' palate just consists of steak and mash? Lately, we could make that shit at home too if we wanted to, and it would come out bomb as fuck. You know why? Because supposedly Ruth's Chris only seasons their shit with butter, salt and pepper, which I don't think so. I don't think so Because then why the fuck am I getting sick? Why am I getting sick every time I eat there? I have butter, salt and pepper on a daily basis, maybe not together, but I still eat it. So what is the fucking deal? Roots Quartz got to get it together.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, my parents do that thing, where you don't really notice it, but you notice it when you get older, where they actually talk and are friendly with the actual wait staff, which I'm not a bitch or anything, but like I'm not really there to be their friend. I'm there to order my steak mashed potatoes, eat like a filthy hobo and then leave. And then Chris is all like hey, so I think you had us last time he goes, but I don't think it was for Thanksgiving or maybe it was and it was a bitch. Let this guy walk over here so I can place my order. Like, come on, bro. Like what are we doing? Are we trying to like learn his social security number and steal his identity? He's sitting there talking to him and me and my me and the boyfriend are just looking at each other like what the fuck? And we're just waiting for this guy to be like okay, okay, and move on to the next person, which would be my brother, and then the boyfriend, then me. But I'm like this can't be real life.
Speaker 1:Okay, I ate maybe a bagel and some coffee before the two-hour drive to get here, which, of course, takes longer on a holiday if people are on the road one of the most traveled fucking days of the year, thanksgiving, so everybody and their mother's on the highway, okay, and then, uh good thing though was, uh, that was Thanksgiving. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm screwing my days up. So what we did was is that Saturday we went to my parents' house, we hung out. It took forever because it's a Saturday, a regular day to everybody else, a birthday for my mother, and then, of course, you know, on the way home, traffic, cause it's fucking Saturday night, and we were leaving a downtown Tampa area where they were having Gasparilla, which is pocket fucking pirate con. For those who don't know, in Tampa people dress up like pirates for Gasparilla. And we were close to that area, like the part of the highway we were on was the closest to it, and I was like, oh my God, bro, if anything else could go worse. Like it almost took us like three hours to get home Saturday and I was like this, this is crazy. Uh, but we made it. None of us got sick and we were just chilling.
Speaker 1:I know this guy is not still. No, I can't. That is so funny. He's still. He's still trying to get into that apartment. Sorry, I'm watching. I'm being nosy. My blink camera keeps going off because the maintenance person who was here helping with my shower drain is now across the hall at my new neighbor's and apparently something needs to be fixed there. So that's what's happening. So I keep looking at the blink camera because they keep setting it off. I need to get batteries. I don't think I have enough to replace it this time, but, like when the neighbors were moving in, they kept setting it off so much that my shit is reading low battery for like weeks now In any case.
Speaker 1:So on the car ride home, this is like my favorite thing. Okay, I love needing to get work done on my car, so I love it so much. You don't understand how much I love putting money into objects. So my car. I'm bad with car maintenance because I'm a woman and I have shit to do. Okay, and of course, the fact that my car helps me get to those things to do, but I'm a broke bitch because the way they pay nowadays is not enough to live. So, thankfully, I have someone who is a high roller in life and makes money like that, and he is funding things for my car right now, which is amazing. So of course I needed so. Of course, there's a real fucking loud noise that happens when my car accelerates, okay, and it has to do with the fact that I never got my tires balanced or rotated. So he went and did that for me on Monday night, like a wonderful person he is after he drove so fucking long. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this person. He's the absolute best.
Speaker 1:After he drove like a three hour drive from work home. He then went back out after he showered. Of course, I made him food first I think my love language is food, anyway, we'll get to that later so I made him some food and he went right back out for me and I was like fuck, yeah, I don't have to go Because I'm a woman. They'll sell me on some shit I don't need. I'll walk up in there and they'll be like, oh, tits and a price tag. That's it, tits and a price tag. Okay, they'll look at my purse and be like she got money. Actually, they'll probably be like she has money and she's not spending it on her car what the fuck? So of course he gets there. I give him some. He's texting me while they're working on it.
Speaker 1:It took all of 20 minutes, but he was asking me for information on my car, so I was giving it to him and he was like okay, so the next thing we're going to do is your breaks, because those definitely need to be done and I was like, okay, so that's what's happening on Sunday. Um, I have to say it's nice to have a sugar daddy you want to give sugar to like he's not 80 with his balls dragging on the ground, he's 40 and delicious. Um, yeah, this might be a short episode today. I don't have much to talk about, but yeah, so I have some other shit I want to read. So let's talk about the show that I was watching that I finally finished.
Speaker 1:So I finished Capote versus the Swans, can I just tell you, very well written. I love Ryan Murphy's stuff. Everything that he puts out including Glee, unfortunately is really good. I like his darker side though. Like with American Horror Story and Feud and all this shit, like I like the darker shit. Glee was good for a few minutes.
Speaker 1:I watched it and I was like you know what? I'm never going to go back in time to watch that first season and I never have. I never have. I've continued to watch other seasons. I have never wanted to go back to watch earlier seasons of Glee. I can for sure say that Hold on a second. But like Capote versus the Swans, I have to tell you something I've never seen a more.
Speaker 1:Naomi Watts is so good in everything she's in. I remember her. The first movie I think I ever saw her in was the ring and uh, she, and like she and Moulin Rouge, she and Nicole Kidman, who was in Moulin Rouge, were like the Aussie women of the time, like they all like came up. They both came up almost at the same time like almost like sisters in acting. I feel like For me anyway is what I think because they're so closely associated. Like you don't really pair Hugh Jackman with anybody else coming up at the same time, and I just love the fact that she is, or was, married to Liev Schreiber, who was fucking Sabretooth. Alongside, here we go, hugh Jackman, who was Wolverine.
Speaker 1:How did I forget what I was just talking about, about Hugh Jackman? By the way, did you hear the pause in that sentence? How old am I that I'm just forgetting shit mid-sentence. Anyway, let me pretend I'm going to go on break here. Hang on a second, 15 minutes, okay. So I put myself on break at work so nobody could bother me for about 15 minutes or ask where I am. But yeah, so Capote versus the Swans was really good. I think I actually do want to finish reading the books.
Speaker 1:I have to say what I was trying to get into was that, you know, naomi Watts reminds me so much of my father's mother Maria. She's like a big planner. Watts reminds me so much of my father's mother Maria. She's like a big planner. She likes everything to be a certain way. She gets upset if it isn't, but not like outright, like I'm sure she'll be upset about it later. I've never heard her raise her voice ever. Naomi Watts' character is very much the same. She's very like, calm, cool, collect, and it was just the episode that got me the most was the episode where she passes away. Spoiler alert she developed cancer. The tumor didn't metastasize but it got bigger and it wasn't shrinking with the chemo that she was on. It was really sad.
Speaker 1:They show you a whole bunch of stuff. They show her living her life and, you know, going up to the country house and you know, uh, the dancing scene with um Tree Williams, her husband, and, uh, bill Paley. She was fantastic in this role. She was definitely a personality. When her and Truman met and Truman, she claimed, was like the love of her life, because, you know, she never felt such joy or been with a person who actually understood her, because Bill Paley was cheating on his wife, babe, with anybody he could, so anything that moved he would fuck with. And that was how Truman kind of fell out of good graces with them is because he felt that it was okay to publish something like that as long as he didn't use real names. But they knew, and other society people knew that it was about Babe and Bill Paley. And that's the worst part is that you know, being betrayed by someone you love is the worst fucking thing you could ever think of, because she let him into her life so deeply and he turned around and did that shit like it was nothing, like she was nothing.
Speaker 1:And they also show that he did that to Demi Moore's character in the beginning also and something I don't remember what her name was and something I don't remember what her name was. But Demi Moore's character eventually ends up killing herself over everything that Truman did to her, which was publicizing the murder, or saying that she murdered her husband, claiming that he was a burglar. He publicized that, he published it and that's when he became known for just being what he was, which was like a little fucking weasel. And of course you know once he did it to Babe, they all, like formed a whole wall against him and you know, quote unquote tried to cut off his oxygen is what she said. Diane Lane's character, who was also fucking Bill Paley, so could you imagine you're watching your friend die and you're fucking her husband. That's insane.
Speaker 1:Okay, and my favorite part is when Calista Flockhart's character says to her like you know, you in this affair with Bill has to end. She's like, and stop going on this tirade against fucking Truman. She's like, it's not. You're not buying your guilt. Like you know you feel guilty for what you're doing, but doing this isn't going to change anything. Like you have to stop. And of course you know she says she goes. Who knows about it? And she goes. Anyone who loves babe doesn't know. I don't remember what exactly she said, but it's pretty evident that people knew that she was fucking Bill, including babe, because babe mentions it to Bill while they're dancing together. So there's just a whole lot of drama. It's really well written. Calista Flockhart is like the best bitch I've ever met in my life. I think she's finally grown into that plastic surgery she had done on her face, because she definitely did not look like this when she was doing Ally McBeal. So I really think the casting was really good. Like I said, I don't understand Demi Moore's face, but that's fine, is it Demi Moore? Is it Demi Moore who cares? So it was really good.
Speaker 1:The episode, like I said, that got me the most was when Babe, you know, slowly starts to realize she's dying, which is they show a scene where she goes up to the country house and she has a nice big party and you know she sees a moth caught in the light and she screams, and then she wakes up and she's in bed and Truman's there. And you never know, you don't realize how they became friends again, like it doesn't really explain itself. But you know she has the realization that she's dying. He brings her into the bathroom like, tells her to put on this pink dress that they said they were going to wear to the award show, but then of course she couldn't go, so they said they were going to watch it at home and her and Truman were going to watch it at home, so she would get dressed up anyway. So of course he's like All right, why don't you come take a bath? Like after she put the dress on and she was like but I'm already dressed. And he goes, oh, so I must. I should stop the water then.
Speaker 1:So, you know, he goes into the bathroom, she follows and there's a swan in the, in the tub, which he's been calling them swans because they're like untouchable. But you know, swans also like to fight each other, like compete with each other for the title, you know, like in wrestling Anyway. So babe goes oh, I'm dying, aren't I? And then you flash to the actual reality of the situation, which is her in bed gasping for air, and I was like, oh, my God, and um, you know he's talking to her. And he's like Ooh, there's fireworks. And he like runs over to the windows that are in the bathroom and she's like who are the fireworks for? And he goes they're for you. And she's like, you know, he's like come, come, look at the fireworks. And she goes I don't, I don't know if I'm ready to look at the fireworks yet. And he goes, she goes, what? So if I'm not ready, what do I do? And he goes we could just stay here forever. And I was like stay in limbo forever, fireworks.
Speaker 1:And you know, you still hear her gasping for air and like everybody's by her side, except the one daughter who resented her for her childhood and her upbringing because she wasn't a great mom. It was everything was about her. She didn't really care too much about what her daughter wanted. If she wasn't feeling well and there was a birthday party going on in the house which they do show with the daughter next to her, she was like please send everyone home. She's like I'm not feeling well, whatever. And then you know she goes to try and shower and she's all fucked up on pills and alcohol that she fucking just falls over into the shower while trying to turn it on and like starts crying. So you could tell postpartum. You know she was depressed, the daughter was old enough, but I would still consider it postpartum because you know it's after you've had the child. But I would still consider it postpartum because you know it's after you've had the child. But you just can't get over it. Like you can't get past it. You don't find yourself happy like you were before you had your kid.
Speaker 1:So of course the daughter doesn't show up, even though Treat Williams character Bill tries to get her to show up. She's like you know, let me know when she's croaked or some shit. Like she says some mean shit, she goes. I'm not going to come running. You let me know when she's like down to the wire and we'll talk about it, or she goes, or let me know when she's dead or some shit. And you see her like show up last minute and then you're like, oh shit, you know it's real Cause the daughter shows up and, um, she's like she comes over and she like grabs her mother's hand and I'm like yo just waterworks and like I can't even deal with it, like even right now, like I feel it in my throat. Um, you just, I just can't deal with shit like that. I don't know why, but you know it's, it's a moment and it's like her final moment. And then you see, um, you see Bill start crying because you know she's exhaled and she's not inhaling. So she, her last breath was taken and she's like ready to be done because she, you know she looked at the fireworks and yeah, it was really sad because I was like I could never do this. I'm like I don't.
Speaker 1:I saw my grandfather in the hospital when he was, when he was close to death, and I don't think we made it there in time. I think we got there like just right after he passed. And you know, they say in that movie like 21 grams, like when you die you lose 21 grams of blood. And it was just sad, it was like weird. He was like asleep with like blood, like no sleep, just like a strong one, though, and I was, like you knew he was going to go because he kept mentioning seeing my dad and my dad's been gone for a while. So we knew it was going to happen. But from like one day to the next, like you know, he was fine. He said he wasn't.
Speaker 1:The only thing was is that you know, my grandfather never went to a doctor. Okay, he never liked going, I should say so. Whenever he felt bad, he thought that beer would cure it, which I'm sure you know, in the years of prohibition shit, it probably would have worked, but, like now, it doesn't work. So his antiquated way of thinking did not work. So, um, uh, he, uh. He told my grandmother one day before work I think they were both going to work, I think she was still working at the time, yeah, because they lived in the city. He told her he's like I don't feel good and he never complains. He never, never, never complained. So him complaining is a big deal. Him saying he doesn't feel good is a big deal, because he would walk through hell with like razors sticking through him to get to where he had to go if he had to.
Speaker 1:And he survived a lot of beatings from nypd when he was detained and shit, which is always the funniest thing to me. I'm like this guy survives so much shit. I'm like he's gonna outlive all of us. Like has been drinking his whole life, All of it. The fuck was that beep Um, drinking his whole life? Oh, all of a sudden, that fucking thing's making noise back there. Nah, sorry, my air freshener made a beep at me and I'm like I've seen more shit bullying me. So we were like he's been through so much shit he's going to outlive all of us. Excuse me, I'm like he's going to be like he's been through so much shit he's going to outlive all of us. Excuse me, I'm like he's going to be like you know, keith Richards, where he, uh, keith Richards is going to be the last one left with a couple of roaches. I think Robin Williams made that joke which you know. He's still alive. He's still alive. That man's like a thousand. And I'm like you know what these celebrities are here drinking virgin blood because there ain't no fucking way these people are still alive, like even Vivica Fox holy fuck, she's gorgeous, gorgeous, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So they went to the hospital and they found out he had liver cancer and he didn't know, he would never know it was from, and he had like hep C. And that was when he you know, when he used to get shot and stabbed, whatever and he used to get all fixed up. They did blood transfusions back then but they weren't filtering for diseases. So he had hep C which I guess was made worse by. You know, having liver cancer Like the two obviously don't work, especially because he didn't take any medicine for it. He's had fucking hernias removed, he's had like throat polyps and all that Like. He went through a lot and the only thing that took him out was cancer and I'm sure he put up a good fight. But you know, he declined rapidly from then, like it was. It was a few days and he was like gone and we couldn't believe it. Um and before.
Speaker 1:That which I always thought was weird is when I was in college I used to call my grandmother all the time because I used to have dreams of him passing away. I used to call my grandmother all the time because I used to have dreams of him passing away. So I used to call my grandmother and be like, hey, is grandpa okay? And this was before he died. This was like, maybe like every few weeks before he passed I was like, is grandpa okay? And she was like yeah, he's fine. Why, what's going on? I'm like nothing, just you know. Just calling to say hi, tell you guys, I love you, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to tell her that I had a dream that her husband was going to die, because that's crazy. So I always thought that was weird.
Speaker 1:But the one thing I will never forget is that he always used to call me when Willy Wonka was on TV. He always used to be like call, call, corey. And I was like, oh god, like when I was younger not that young, but like it wasn't the same movie to me that it was when I was younger and, um, anytime I watch it now I get upset because that was his movie. So, yeah, it's really hard to watch that Anyway. So let's look at these. Hadn't thought about that in a while. But also he was a big fan of Christmas. He always used to put the tree up and he always made a big deal about it. So I think that's why we all like Christmas. He always used to put the tree up and he always made a big deal about it. So I think that's why we all like Christmas.
Speaker 1:Like, um, my, when I saw my uh, when I saw my family on Chris on my mother's birthday actually, no, before that, it was last Monday, I think I talked about this. Though Chris goes, hey, what do you want for Christmas? And I'm like, bro, just just throw money my way, just make it rain on Christmas, how about that? I was like I don't, I don't really care. I'm like mom's the one who thinks I need to open things. I really do not need to open a thing. I can open a gift card, I can open any card with cash in it. Like, I'm still opening shit, you still need to open that to get to the prize, okay, so I, uh, I was like she can just give you. Guys can just give me money and I'm fine, I don't need to open anything.
Speaker 1:So they took me seriously this year and that's what they gave me was money, which was perfect. I'm like, please, man, I don't, I have room for more shit, but don't buy me anything that I need to like pack up. I have to walk up three fucking flights of stairs with a box and a half of shit that you guys felt I needed for fucking Christmas Last year was dope, though she gave me some ninja shit, my ninja pots and pans Holy fuck. I was like hell. Yeah, bro, what Motherfucker? Click, there we go. Yeah, those pots and pans have served their purpose for sure. Okay, let's see.
Speaker 1:So Christmas has come and gone. The next one is going to be fucking New Year's, and I've already resigned myself to the idea of making a honey-baked ham, and apparently someone wants black-eyed peas. So I guess I'm doing that Really resentful in my voice, even though he does everything for for me, I just have to like buy the shit to make it. So I'll probably have to do that over the weekend or see if Walmart can do some shipping shit to my apartment, because I really I can't be bothered to go to stores. Do you know how many fucking delivery services I use, whether it's Uber, eats, shipt, walmart Plus, whatever? If I never have to go into a store again, that would just make my life so much better, and this is why I get pissed off that I have to go. Here's the only thing that I don't like waiting for technology. So this is why I will not go to AT&T to pick up a fucking watch. I'm not doing it. You are not going to have me do that shit. You know why? Because I don't want to breathe other people's air. If I go to AT&T, it'll be when it opens, because I want to have that conversation and leave.
Speaker 1:One time when I moved down here, okay, I had the opportunity to switch phones, so I went and I switched and got a red iPhone 13 or 12. I don't remember, but I switched and I got a red iPhone, loved it, loved it, loved it. And then, of course, I go to AT&T and I think I'm there early enough. I get there and there's like a million people there and I'm like what are they giving away shit? No, people are just conversing with the staff and doing old people shit like oh, how's your wife, how's your family? Do you actually know this person? Or are you doing this intentionally so that I can't just get in and out, like this past time when I got my iPhone 14 Pro Max the huge one I was in and out.
Speaker 1:That bitch. They didn't even take my other phone. They're like you know what? You're just going to have to mail that out. And I was like motherfucker. I was like you sure you don't want to take this shit. They're like no, we don't do that anymore, you just take it yourself now. So basically I left with both phones. He's like the way the internet is set up in this building, it'll take us longer to set it up here than it would if you set it up at home. So I was like all right, fuck it. So I took both phones and I left and you know it was quicker. It was kind of annoying, but it was quicker, but it was nice. I walked in and I left. That's basically it, because I'd already paid for the shit on my phone. That's the funny part. They don't even let you like do any of that shit and then just go get it. Like you actually have to have this shit delivered. I don't get it, but whatever, I will never, I'll never do that. So let's see. So I opened Facebook the other day and let me tell you, when I say that there are certain things that Facebook does not need to have posted, it's one of these.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's read this out loud because apparently we all need to hear it. I can't find a source, but I know there have been cases where a man has sex with one woman and then goes and have sex with another woman women, excuse me before showering and some of the first woman's eggs are still on his penis. They can implant into the second woman who can carry the first woman's child. It is the same idea as medical egg donors. Now let me tell you something. The science behind this would be insane if that was it. Okay. Because what you're saying is that you fuck a woman and their eggs get on you somehow, okay, and you have like corncob dick because the eggs are there, and you go and you fuck someone else and the eggs just decide to leave the dick and go into this other lady.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's do the math, all right. So we did A plus six plus exclamation point at sign equals. What the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? Because, first of all saying corncob dick and then doing that kind of math unbelievable, so let's try this again. Unbelievable. So let's try this again. Let's try this again. Let's do the math again. Let's see if it makes sense. G plus ampersand at sign triangle. Hexagon period equals you need Jesus. That's what that sentence is.
Speaker 1:Okay, it makes no sense to me why people put this out there. I don't even care if it's fake either. Even if it's fake, you have to think about the science, about this, because eggs are not in the vaginal canal, which is where the dick goes. Maybe someone needs to teach them or tell them they're doing sex wrong, because the eggs hang out in the uterus. So, unless you're saying that you know the dick is big enough to surpass the cervix, let's do an anatomy thing. So the dick goes into the vaginal canal and then there's a little hole there called the cervix. If your dick can go past the cervix and up into the uterus, we have about women have like four or five inches of vaginal canal before you even get to the cervix and up into the uterus. We have about women have like four or five inches of vaginal canal before you even get to the cervix to then get to the uterus.
Speaker 1:Okay, how big is your dick? How big is this dick? How big is it? Because that's insane and you should be studied. It's the stupidest thing that you could ever open facebook to.
Speaker 1:Okay, imagine if men actually carried the baby, by the way. That would be fucking crazy. Seahorses seahorses do that. Male seahorses carry babies. If men had to carry babies, I don't think they could do it, because there is something now known as the male flu. Okay, and that's just a cold that women get, like the threshold. Threshold level is so crazy. Dan's going to get mad at this, but I don't care. And, yes, I mentioned his name all the time. So he wakes up and listens. He's actually waiting at discord right now. For me, that's so funny.
Speaker 1:So women never actually say they're sick and it would never happen even onto our deathbed. We would still be trying to like plan the day, even while we're dying in bed, like planning an agenda Like what is my family going to do before, after and around my time of death? That's the level of planning we have. So the male flu puts women as superheroes, because even if I'm sick, I'm still going to do for my man. When my man is sick, it's please hold me, I'm tired, I'm sweaty and I don't feel well. And then we just pass sickness back and forth Instead of just quarantining, just stay in a room where I'm not in. Okay, pretend it's COVID, stay far away. I have another one. Here we go. So I have a ring, I have a ring one, I have two ring ones, I think Actually, no, I'll just do one, because I don't really feel like looking on Facebook under my saved for where I have it. So here we go. Here's another one.
Speaker 1:Well, folks, here it is my blatantly honest review. This is my wedding set. I've had it about two months now and she's seen some shit. Literally. I'm a farmer's wife, a cattle buyer, and I get dirty. I don't take off my jewelry for anything. This beauty has been inside of cows to pregnancy check, ungloved, wrangled and wrestled. Calves to vaccinate and deworm, butchered numerous birds and hogs, and then some. I wash my hands a ton, I knead hundreds of loaves of bread every week, can and preserve many, many foods and am a mom to six. I'm probably one of the toughest people on jewelry. And she still holds up and shines bright. She's been slammed against stall doors and cleaned a many saddles too. I'm honestly shocked at the quality for the amazingly low price we paid. She's made out of my husband's baby gravy and quite the conversation starter.
Speaker 1:I'm rating her a five out of five. I'm rating you a five out of five for get the fuck out of here. That's my, that's my, that's my scale. Okay, this story goes from okay to worse with each paragraph and let me tell you the well folks here it is is one line okay. Then there's a paragraph where this is my wedding set. The second paragraph is this beauty where this is my wedding set. The second paragraph is this beauty. The third paragraph is she's been slammed against all doors. The last one with the rating is four, one, two, three, one, two, three, four, five, excuse me. So five out of five.
Speaker 1:This lady's stupid, and so am I, because I can't count, excuse me. So I want to know who's having conversations with her, because either she has bad friends or someone pranked her so fucking hard or bet her to do this. Hey, why don't you go make a ring out of your husband's jizz and see how long it lasts? Like I really hope that this isn't her actual set, because to me it looks like an opal. But you're telling me there's some sperms in there, some archaic sperms. Then I've got a whole ass question for you. Who are you? Who are you? Are you that chick? Are you Marion from Indiana Jones, who drinks dudes under the table? And that's an old expression Excuse me, she's not fucking sucking dick under the table, it's. You know someone who could drink until someone like falls over. I'm rating this shit a five out of five for nonsense, for shenanigans. That okay, so that that's insane for her.
Speaker 1:My other thing is is that I need people to like hide their freak a little bit, like we're not matching freaks out here anymore. Okay, when we're looking at rings, I send these to my boyfriend because and my family, because my family needs to see the shit that I'm exposed to on the internet. That makes me who I am. There was another ring that I sent everybody that looked like a vagina and the diamond was like the clit, and this woman is probably just walking around with this shit on her finger talking about oh my God, I waited a year for this, or we were together like seven years and this is my prize. Bitch, that ain't no prize. It's a vagina. You got a pussy ring. A pussy ring on your finger. Pussy ring, a pussy ring on your finger. Merry Christmas to me and my eyes that I got to see a gold vagina. Actually, it looked like fucking iron an iron vagina, the iron box. That's amazing, anyway. So anyone else here. I have one more thing on Facebook, and then I'm gonna just be done with it.
Speaker 1:There's this chick I saw yesterday and this is one of the things I thought about overnight is that you know, we're allotted a couple of loves of our lives every now, and then this bitch has a new one every year and I need you guys to like cool it with how public you are with your relationships Because, cool, we're happy for you, we love that for you, we love that life. Get yours Like, get your partner, get your lover your life. Soulmate, whatever. Stop telling us about it every time you change. One though. Men are not interchangeable like that, I'm sorry, they're not. Like. Maybe when I was younger I would have thought so. Like I'm 35, men are not interchangeable. Okay. If there's a love of your life, be alone for a while. Like, choose yourself.
Speaker 1:This is the funny shit. So she was engaged last I knew and I asked my friend Chuck I was like bruh, what is up with this girl? I'm like who is she with now? And he's like I don't even fucking know who that is. Like we'd be looking on Facebook and asking each other shit. And I'm like bruh, who is this guy? Cause last I saw she was engaged to somebody else who was totally different.
Speaker 1:I was like a year ago, today, what was this bitch doing? He goes, I have no fucking idea. He goes everybody's sluts out here and I just die laughing because I'm like that's just who he is. He doesn't even mean that she's a slut, he's just like fuck these ho here. Like that's his general consensus of bitches who do this shit, which is hilarious. But I'm also starting to agree and seeing it.
Speaker 1:So stuff like this makes me nosy. I'm not that nosy of a person, because who has the time to give a shit about something like this? Hopefully not me. But I was like oh okay, here we go. And, of course, how many loves are your life are you going to have? Let's be real. Like this girl's been engaged, I feel like at least a handful of times. There's no real reason. There's no real reason why she is engaged this many times. I want to know if she's collecting rings like Thanos, because she should at this point, but she probably wouldn't even know how to snap her fingers to make us all disappear. So her caption in the picture she posted for Christmas was talking about this. This was the funniest fucking thing in this and every lifetime.
Speaker 1:I choose us, bitch, if you don't choose yourself, and shut the fuck up. Choose yourself and shut the fuck up. Like, just go away for a little bit, just just slightly a little bit. Go away because I'm tired of seeing your shit and asking people about you, cause one day I'm just gonna be like bitch. What is you doing? Have you been tested lately? Shit, and asking people about you, because one day I'm just going to be like bitch. What is you doing? Have you been tested lately? Because I heard about you and I heard you're promiscuous and I heard about your past and we just don't have time, baby girl, for any more of this shit. And I'm like I'm sorry you're sad and lonely, but learn to be alone, bitch. You learn some things about yourself and what you're not willing to accept in your loneliness. So, anyway, that's, that's my Facebook rant. Those are my three things from Facebook that I cannot stand. Here's the other thing I like watching movies, but I hate when they get some bad behind the scenes shit. Have you heard this shit about Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively now? Oh my glob. Okay, hold on, let me read this fucking original shit 20 hours ago is this the? Is this the one I want? So let's see blake lively's. Blake lively's claims that it ends with us.
Speaker 1:Director and co-star justin baldoni unleashed a smear campaign against her have gained support from a new lawsuit that baldoni's former publicist filed against him. The lawsuit was lodged Tuesday in New York State Court in Manhattan by Stephanie Jones, who began representing Baldoni in 2017. It said the actor and his movie production company, wayfarer, expanded their contract in 2020, agreeing to pay a $25,000 monthly fee. The lawsuit alleged that Baldoni and Wayfarer, last August when the film was released, teamed up with publicists to try and bury and destroy Lively, amid fears that allegations of misogynistic and toxic onset behavior as the romantic drama was made might harm his reputation and career. Jones sought unspecified damages from the defendants, including Jennifer Abel, a former fucking ad, a former goddammit employee, who says she carried out who she says carried out the campaign to damage Lively and muddy the reputation of Jones. Bitch, this Associated Press shit is gonna. The lawsuit alleges that Abel was fired after Jones learned on August 21st that Abel had stolen more than 70 proprietary and sensitive business documents and additional client leads from Jonesworks as Abel prepared to leave the firm to start her own publicity company taking along Baldoni and Wayfarer as clients. All right, here we go. This is the one that I want. This is the one that I want. I don't care about this other shit.
Speaker 1:Blake Lively has accused her it Ends With Us director and co-star Justin Baldoni of sexual harassment on the set of the movie and a subsequent effort to destroy her reputation in a legal complaint. The complaint obtained by the Associated Press, which the New York Times reported was filed Friday with the California Civil Rights Department, precedes a lawsuit. It names Baldoni, the studio behind the romantic drama it Ends With Us and Baldoni's publicist among the defendants. In the complaint, lively accuses Baldoni and the studio of embarking on a multi-tiered plan to damage her reputation following a meeting in which she and her husband, ryan Reynolds, addressed repeated sexual harassment and other disturbing behavior by Baldoni and a producer on the movie. The plan, the complaint said, included a proposal to plant theories on online message boards, engineer a social media campaign and place news stories critical of Lively Baldoni. Stop this shit. Ap. Baldoni enlisted publicists and crisis managers in a sophisticated, coordinated and well-financed retaliation plan meant to bury and destroy Lively if she went public with her on-set concerns. That's crazy. To safeguard against the risk of Miss Lively ever revealing the truth about Mr Baldoni. The Baldoni Wayfarer team created, planted, amplified and boosted content designed to eviscerate Miss Lively's credibility. They engaged in the same techniques to bolster Mr Baldoni's credibility and suppress any negative content about him. The complaint also says Baldoni abruptly pivoted away from the movie's marketing plan and used domestic violence survivor content to protect his public image.
Speaker 1:Brian Friedman, an attorney representing Baldoni Wayfarer Studios, and its representatives, called the claims completely false, outrageous and intentionally salacious. The guy looks like a fucking idiot. He looks like a fucking douche who would do this shit. If you look up Justin Baldoni, it looks like he's a sexual harasser. He should just walk up to people and be like hi, my name is Justin and I sexually harass women, like that's it. He even put a movie out. It Ends With Us, which basically is about some domestic violence, shit and bad relationships. Who comes up with this shit? People who do that shit. That's. Who comes up with that?
Speaker 1:He pushed back against Lively's allegations of a coordinated campaign, saying the studio proactively hired a crisis manager due to the multiple demands and threats made by Ms Lively during production. Friedman also said Lively threatened to not appear on set and not to promote the film if her demands were not met. Those demands were not specified in the statement, but Lively's complaint lists 30 demands that she said Baldoni and others agreed to after their tense sit-down over her hostile work environment concerns agreed to after their tense sit-down over her hostile work environment concerns. Among them, no more showing of nude videos or images of women to Lively and others on set and no more discussions about pornography, sexual experiences or genitalia. She also said Baldoni should not ask her trainer about her weight without her consent, should not press her about her religious beliefs and should make no further mention of her dead father. That is crazy. That is crazy. That is crazy. An intimacy coordinator was also required to be on set whenever Lively shared a scene with Baldoni, and he was barred from entering her trailer or the makeup trailer while she was undressed. The demands also stipulated that there will be no more improvising of kissing scenes or adding of sex scenes to the film outside of the ones in the script Lively approved when she signed on. I hope that my legal action helps pull back the curtain on these sinister retaliatory tactics to harm people who speak up about misconduct and helps protect others who may be targeted. Lively said in a statement to the Times. A representative for Lively referred the AP to the Times report in which Lively denied planting or spreading negative information about Baldoni or the studio. It ends with us.
Speaker 1:An adaptation of Colleen Hoover's best-selling 2016 novel was released in August, exceeding box office expectations with a $50 million debut, but the movie's release was shrouded by speculation over discord between the lead pair. Baldoni took a backseat in promoting the film, while Lively took center stage along with Reynolds, who was on the press circuit for Deadpool and Wolverine at the same time. Baldoni, who starred in the telenovela Send Up Jane the Virgin, directed Five Feet Apart and wrote man Enough, a book pushing back against traditional notions of masculinity, did respond to the concerns that the film romanticized domestic violence, telling the AP at the time that critics were absolutely entitled to that opinion. If anybody has had that real life experience, I can imagine how hard it would be to imagine their experience being in a romance novel. To them, I would just offer that we were very intentionally in the making of this movie Very intentional, by the way.
Speaker 1:What the fuck An intimacy coordinator should always be around with a man and a woman in a fucking movie like this, or any fucking movie like this, especially if he looks like a dickhead. Sorry, I'm looking at a picture of him. He looks like an asshole. He looks like someone who would be capable of doing this shit. And don't tell me that's prejudice looking at him. Don't tell me anybody could do this shit. I don't care. You put out a movie surrounding a bad fucking relationship and Blake Lively did not feel comfortable or safe with you. She's allowed to voice her concerns and if you weren't guilty of any of this shit, you wouldn't have fucking lawyered up so quickly, would you? Sure, it's to protect yourself. You know what you only have to do Fucking apologize to her for making her feel that way. Maybe you won't lose your reputation with the fucking Academy Awards or whatever your intentions are with this movie. Maybe man up as you say and fucking just deal with it.
Speaker 1:Like these people in power like including Alec Baldwin in this gun shit. Like these people in power like including Alec Baldwin in this gun shit. Can you just apologize for not having this woman on set who had no business handling weaponry in a movie. Someone fucking died on his set and they dismissed the charges of a second trial. I don't even know why. We'll get into that another day. But like just these men in Hollywood bruh, like there's so many you don't hear about that are really good guys, but it's always the dickheads who get the attention.
Speaker 1:It's always people like this who do this shit to women in movies and in real life that just get all the credit. What happens to the woman the woman's the bad guy for reporting it and also a woman representing him is absolutely insane. Let it be men, bitch, before you get fucking chopped up too. You know, like why are you representing this? Like, yeah, sure it's money. You could have plenty of other shit to do. Bitch, you do not need to represent or entangle your name with any of this. Also, we've never even heard about Johnny Depp's lawyer anymore against Amber Heard. But this is what I mean Women do the work and get nothing. Well, in that industry anyway, I don't care about getting credit, to be honest with you. But Blake Lively should have felt safe and she didn't and she reported it. Thank God she's got fucking Ryan Reynolds, because that man's going to handle business and you know it. That man's not letting this guy get away with shit, and everybody else on the set, including a male co-star, said the same shit about him. Okay, sketchy as fuck this guy is. So like ain't no reason for them to not believe any of them for that. So it's just outrageous.
Speaker 1:And I wanted to see that movie so bad I think I might just read the book. I wanted to see that movie, I had high interest in it, and now I just don't want to even deal with it because the whole time I'm going to look at him and be like you, fucking piece of shit, like you. Just you ruined this movie for me, bro. You ruined it. I was so excited to be like a part of this whole thing and be like wow, that was fucking controversial as shit.
Speaker 1:But you put this dark cloud over it because you couldn't just be you know justin, and not justin baldoni, the producer and all the shit. No, bruh, you couldn't just be a down-to-earth person who remembers where they came from, to humble himself and be like you know what? I'm really, really sorry about that. You went to smear her instead, because she had demands and things that should just be a right, things she's entitled to. Like what? Like? She shouldn't be concerned that you're going to walk in on her while she's nude. Her husband can't always be there, and if he was there and saw you, he'd probably beat your ass. So what's up, you weak ass man? Anyway, sorry, that shit just makes me so angry. Like it just makes me angry, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I hope anyone has some good resolutions. My hope is to be a little less pissed off at men doing stupid shit. But who knows, maybe, you know, today I'll find another reason to be pissed off at another guy, but we'll see. Anyway, so I'm hoping everybody has a fabulous New Year. By the next time we speak it'll be 2025. How crazy is that?
Speaker 1:Somebody in my team chat earlier said that there's only five days left in 2024. And I'm like girl, I know we all got calendars. No, I just gave it a thumbs up and like, kept going. But like I know, I know, you know how I know, because I'm gonna be 36 next year and I'm not ready. I'm getting closer to 40 and I'm not ready. There's so many things I feel like I have not done. Anyway, we'll resolve that next year, I guess, when I get to 36. But yes, I hope you guys have a great rest of your day and enjoy your upcoming weekend. We'll see how I do after this dinner. Maybe I'll take some notes with my uncle and shit, but I love you guys so much. Thank you for taking the time to listen this week and I'll speak to you next week. Love you guys. Bye, thank you.
