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Coco Off the Grid
Let's go off the grid and get silly with today's headlines, work dramas and the unexplainable actions of others.
Close your blinds, shut off your lights and put your phones on airplane mode because it's time to join me for another episode of "Coco Off the Grid."
Coco Off the Grid
Monster L@bia
On this episode we discuss the "twofer" for Brooke Shields and how some people need to grow backbones. How Dunkin Donuts has decided to become my enemy and why Bath and Body Works should become my new home (smelled delicious in there) while running some quick errands. We'll also run through some other headlines in this "gotcha" entertainment society we now live in. We also delve into how Sally Struthers is trying to badmouth Betty White postmortem. We also discuss how politicians are in competition with celebrities for the award of who can be the most entertaining in headlines. Grab your friends, close your shades and turn of the lights because it's time for a new episode of Coco of the Grid.
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What's up people? Happy Thursday. We're back with another episode. I just got off the phone with my mom and I realized what time it was. I was like holy shit, it's late. It's not late, it's 1145. But I'm usually up doing this earlier than that and releasing it by now. So we'll see how this goes. I hope everyone's having a good Thursday.
Speaker 1:I do have plans to go to this convention. I'm hoping tomorrow, because today I have too many errands that are by my house for me to do that and enjoy myself. So we'll see what happens. If I have anything to report, it'll probably be next week. If I don't end up going for some reason because I'm not feeling well, then I will let you know that too. Not that I wanted to do that on a free ticket, but being home so nice lately and with, like all these RSV shits and all this other stuff, I have asthma I can't really be fucking with disease right now. So I'm probably just going to chill at home. I think it's just better to be in a contained environment. So we'll see.
Speaker 1:I may go, I may not go, we'll find out what happens next time. But yeah, it's nice weather out right now it's 50s, low 50s. This would be considered spring weather over in New York, which I miss sometimes for my friends and for my people. It was so funny because I spoke to Chuck, my friend Charles, yesterday and it's so ghetto to call someone whose name is Charles Chuck he told me some crazy shit yesterday and I for some reason remembered a piece of information and told him said piece of information. So I was like, wow, that's really funny that I remembered something like that, because that's like ancient history, that's like a decade, a decade ago memory that it's like wow, why the fuck do you remember that? Also, I have to record before my sister gets here, because then she's going to be loud as fuck. Actually, no, I'm lying. When she comes over, she does what older kids do. She's in college now, which is so to prove a point that I'm old, I'm 35. I'm going to be 36 this year and she is going to be 19, which is really funny, because I was like she's the youngest, I'm the oldest, obviously, and it's just funny to see how she's. It's very funny to hear how kids act a certain way when they're a certain age, but actually seeing in person is really funny, like she does exactly what a college kid would do in their home with any type of family. She's just on her phone in her own little world in like a separate room. It's separate togetherness. That's what our family does Like.
Speaker 1:I used to go out with this kid in high school whose mom made being spending time together such a big deal that anytime she would see you know me and my mom hang out I'm upstairs, my mom's downstairs watching TV. So I'm upstairs playing video games, she's downstairs. So I was like that was funny, because she always made fun of that. She was always like oh yeah, yeah, I know you guys are spending time together. What are you watching TV in the living room? And she's up in her room and my mom used to go yup and it was like not even offensive to her. It was just so funny that she made such a big deal out of it when we didn't care.
Speaker 1:We were together in the house, she knew where I was, she didn't have to worry about anything, like when kids go out. Parents have to worry, especially in this day and age when everything, anything goes. It seems like these days like nobody. The credentialing process of teachers and all this shit I feel has fell by the wayside. Then you hear all this shit in the news about kids and adults, and it's like ugh, I don't even want to get into that because I'm going to get sick, I'm going to make myself sick, but yeah, there's so many things that go on and it's like what?
Speaker 1:Like that was my ex's mother's biggest problem is that we were never in the same room spending time together, which was so stupid, because every time I used to want to hang out with her son, obviously the bedroom door was open, but she always used to come in every five seconds to check in and see how we were doing. Like, but you just saw us. You just saw us. Okay, so we were just in the living room eating dinner together. Like, can me and the boyfriend just watch TV? We're sitting on the bed. We're not laying on the bed, we're sitting on the bed. The door is open. We can hear you guys coming, though, so it's not like me and him can't, like make out and then stop as soon as we hear you hit a certain wood beam on the floor, you know.
Speaker 1:In any case, though, that's not what I want to talk about, but, um, it was a good non sequitur, I guess, to the next idea, which is Brooke Shields bonus labia surgery. I saw this shit and what the hell I'm writing on my iPad. I have class from eight. What Eight? What Is it supposed to be? 830 to 1230? Okay, all right, queen, just text it to me, because this writing on this shit is not. Queen, just text it to me, because this writing on this shit is not all right. Anyway, brooke Shields bonus labia surgery. Now I saw this in my email and I was like how does this apply to me, bro? How does this apply to me? Are you telling me that I need labia surgery because I need to know the deets? Open this shit. There we go, fuck.
Speaker 1:Brooke Shields says surgeon performed irreversible bonus during labia surgery without her consent. That's insane. Let's see. Brooke Shields detailed how a male plastic surgeon threw in a little bonus procedure without her consent when she underwent labia reduction surgery after spending years struggling with discomfort. Oh my God, what we consider news these days is hilarious. I think we're just bored. It's just boredom and we're just finding other things to entertain us. Maybe Brooke Shields was like hey, I'm bored, let me just be the center of attention for a second. Let's see, Get out of my face, e-news ad. I'm not joining your newsletter. Shut the fuck up. Brooke Shields will no longer beat around the bush when it comes to women's health. That first line. Whoever did that is a fucking genius.
Speaker 1:The Suddenly Susan actress shared in her new memoir that she underwent labia reduction surgery during her 40s after spending years struggling with discomfort, chafing and bleeding. Holy shit, how big are your lips. What do you mean? Chafing and bleeding? What's going on? How big were they? However, during post-op checkup with her surgeon, she said she learned he also performed a vaginal rejuvenation procedure while she was under the knife, without her consent. I'd be lying if I said I'm not embarrassed to share this very intimate information she wrote. And Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old, per US Weekly. But if we are allowed, but if we were to change the way we approach and talk about women's health, then we need to bring up the uncomfortable but very real issues. Girl, you had fucking. What Elephant titus of the vagina? What do you mean? Your labia was chafing and bleeding. According to Brooke, her doctor seemed proud of the twofer, even though she didn't want the irreversible procedure. He informed me that he threw in a little bonus.
Speaker 1:Brooke recounted in a US Weekly interview published January 8th, it felt like such an invasion, such a bizarre, like rape of some kind. First of all, don't compare. Don't compare that shit to that. Okay, don't compare that shit to that, because rape and what happened to you are two different things. He didn't stick his dick in you, sweetheart. He helped fix your vagina. Okay, also, did you sue him? Because if you're just saying this shit, fucking, other celebrities are going to go to him too and be like give me the twofer, please give me the brook shields. She continued. Nothing pointed toward. This needs to be tighter or smaller or firmer or younger, especially there.
Speaker 1:Well, the 59 year old kept quiet about her experience to husband chris henchy for the longest time. She's now going public with her story as a way to raise awareness about women's autonomy over their personal health appearance. As Brooke, who shares daughters Rowan Henchy and Greer Henchy, put in her book, shame is no longer an option. Okay, rowan is 21 and Greer is 18, not that that matters. Brooke's memoir is not the first time she's gotten candid about societal beauty standards. After all, the Pretty Baby alum once said aging is not a graceful process. It isn't interesting, isn't it interesting how we even have to say okay, well, if you're going to age, you're going to have to do it gracefully. She told Allure last year excuse me, but fuck you, ma'am.
Speaker 1:Now you've seen Brooke Shields in plenty of shit. Does she look like the type of person that says fuck? She does not look like the type of person that says fuck. She looks like the type of person who would play a princess in a documentary film, like in a Lifetime movie, something about one of the royals. She would definitely be in that. But she's not someone who's going to go off and say fuck you. So she's just trying to be edgy, like just say pussy or something. I want to hear an interview where she actually curses, because none of this shit makes me feel relatable to her, because Vajrajuv is probably the coolest thing you could ever get done and he's not trying to insult you, he's trying to help you out. That's the other side of it. She feels insulted because, what you know? You got a monster mouth down there. You've got Franken pussy going on Like what's the problem? He just gave you a hand, literally.
Speaker 1:Brooke added grace comes from giving yourself acceptance and kindness, as well as facing reality. If you don't like what's happening to your stomach, do sit ups. She added, those things to me, are graceful. I think being graceful as you age is just admitting the truth and then seeing what you're comfortable doing about it. For more celebs speaking candidly about plastic surgery, keep reading I don't care about Ariana Grande's fillers, like there's so many other things that I don't care about. Gypsy Rose Blanchard she underwent a rhinoplasty. She looks good. Let's see who else. Caroline Stanberry, real Housewives of Dubai. She had a facelift. Okay, good for her. Selena Gomez has gotten Botox. Well, she got too much if you've seen her face lately. Brandi Glanville who the fuck is that?
Speaker 1:The former Bravo star has been candid about her plastic surgery procedure in the past, including getting a nose job, having breast implants and dabbling. Yeah, you could tell them titties are fake. What the fuck? Now she's turned to CellSound's body sculpting treatment to tighten her stomach. I have actual abs, she told people in an interview published March 21st. I have lines on my stomach that I haven't had since before I got pregnant. I think any mother knows after kids, the elasticity of your skin will never be the same. Maybe just do you know what? I don't have time. Who's Jill Zarin? I don't know any of these people. Brittany Cartwright who's the? What show is the Valley, martha Stewart? No shit, martha Stewart. After years of denying cosmetic procedures, the lifestyle expert recently confessed that the February 8th episode of her eponymous podcast that she gets Botox, fillers and lasers to tighten her skin.
Speaker 1:I don't think a lot about age, but I don't want to look my age, bro. Tori Spelling she looks crazy. Her breasts are too big. Sharon Osbourne, excuse me, in addition to getting candid on using Ozempic for weight loss. Anyway, you know, ozempic face has gotten back.
Speaker 1:Lady Gaga, I've never had any work work done, but I went through a phase when I was smoking pot, when I was really obsessed with getting a facial objection. Yo, when you smoke weed, you have energy to go do other things. I was going to this strip mall in Chicago in the back. Everybody was like you're a nut job, I'm telling you. I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind and I would smoke a bunch of joints and have some drinks. I'd be like, oh, let's go see my girl and we would drive to the strip mall and I would get shot up with a bunch of whatever Juvederm and then leave. She continued. Now all the stuff is gone. Before I shot the applause video, a photographer friend was like Gaga. I, a photographer friend, was like Gaga. I love you, but if you don't stop injecting shit in your face, I'm just going to kill you.
Speaker 1:Bethany Frankel looks like a monster. Olivia Colman I don't know what she played in the Crown, but she looks crazy. Julie Chen Okay, don't really know her. Jamie Lee Curtis I've done it all. I've had a little plastic surgery. I've had a little lipo, I've had a little lipo, I've had a little Botox and you know what. None of it works, but she still looks good. Jamie Lee Curtis still looks good. Jennifer Aniston I had a deviated septum fixed Best thing I ever did. Uh, people told she took the actress, told people in 2007,. I slept like a baby for the first time in years. As far as all the other rumors, as boring as it sounds, it's still mine. She does look like she hasn't had anything done, though, and I respect that about her. Nene Leakes, nene Leakes.
Speaker 1:Her eyes in this picture look like she's in. What is it? The Quiet Place, yeah, or the nether? I don't remember what it's called, but fucking that movie in the movie Get Out. I don't know what they fucking. It looks like her soul is actually hiding in the depths and there's someone else controlling her. That's what her eyes look like.
Speaker 1:In 2010, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star revealed that she had a nose job, a breast lift and liposuction Girl. We know. Job of breast lift and liposuction Girl we know. We know Kim Zolchak. Oh God, she doesn't look the same at all. In 2015, the reality star called Dr Lenny Hochstein her boob god doctor for giving her perky breasts. Of course, the reality TV personality. She looks good. She looks different than when I first saw her. I didn't even know she had brown eyes.
Speaker 1:Lisa Rinna had her lips injected with silicone at age 24. In 2010, she had some of the filler removed. I find it so interesting that it's become such a big thing, because I can't tell you how many girls have done their lips. I feel like I'm a pioneer, what I was one of the first ones to ever do it and be honest about it. She also said I would do it and be honest about it. She also said I would do it again. I never had a career before I had lips, so my lips have had their own career. Yeah, yeah, I will say that her hair besides her haircut, her fucking mouth is probably what gave her her career, and not for sucking dick or anything, but just because it looks so appealing to get your lips done because of how her lips do. So I wonder how her lips look, excuse me.
Speaker 1:So I'm wondering how many people have uh, how many people have gone to her doctor? Like, how much business has she drummed up for this plastic surgeon? Because there's no way. There's no way he didn't make billions off her. Let's see. Sorry, I'm downloading the e-news app because it's giving me life right now. Motherfucker. I'll do it later. I'll do it later. Okay, don't care. Um, let's go back to my other tab. Please, thank you, please, thank you. Go back. There we go, but the labia thing is insane. Like Brooke Shields got to chill out. Um, just be okay with a doctor trying to help you and this was years ago. This isn't even anything new. Like she's just coming out about it now.
Speaker 1:Like, if you're going to be so rambunctious and uppity about this, why don't you just be real and come out with it when it first happened to you? You're not supposed to be embarrassed about something like that, especially if you're going on this tirade of aging gracefully. If a doctor caused a problem for you, report that shit immediately. There's no reason oh my God, I just like sucked up a whole bunch of sugar in my straw. There should be no reason for you to be hiding from that. You shouldn't have to hide that. If, especially if you're going to act like a bitch about it now, be a bitch when it first happens. Be a vagina bitch when it happens. Okay, go hard for your vagina In any case.
Speaker 1:So Jimmy Carter's funeral was last week or earlier this week, I forget, bro, but they made such a big deal out of Trump being there and not even the fact that Trump was there. But one of the funniest things that I saw happen was that fucking Barack and Trump were sitting next to each other and Barack was happily chit chatting with Trump and I thought that was so funny, not because of anything politically related, but because of the way Kamala Harris acted about it, like she literally. It was literally like when you go to lunch in high school, right, and two people that you know are beefing in public actually sit down and have a conversation together. They don't fight each other, they don't like put up fists like they're going to punch each other in the face. They actually just sit for a common cause and just talk to each other and probably some crazy shit like ha ha, you're going to fuck up the presidency, ha ha. And then Trump goes ha ha, fuck you, your name is Barack, something stupid like that. And Kamala is so busy sitting with her husband and she fucking like looks behind him and sees them two talking and she like goes like sighs real heavy, like you can see it. And her husband looks at her like yeah, bitches. And she looks back at him like yep, they bitches, and that's it. But it's the funniest fucking thing. If you ever have a chance to view that clip, you got to see it. It's Barack and Trump at Jimmy Carter's funeral. But like she acted all pissed off, like you know, she was supposed to be in the conversation Bitch you, lucky you, even at Jimmy Carter's fucking funeral. How did you get the invite? Was it an accident? Because ain't no way. Someone was like oh yeah, we got to have Kamala there. Oh man, and not not politically raised. This is not politically raised as a point, it's just fucking hilarious. Then I find another caveat to that. This is funny.
Speaker 1:Michelle Obama is not one to pretend for protocol's sake, source says, about her skipping Trump's inauguration. The former first lady made waves after distancing herself from two recent events where she would come face to face with President-elect Trump. Shortly after Michelle Obama announced her plan to stay home during Donald Trump's inauguration, a source familiar with her thinking tells people that the former first lady would also would not want to fake a smile for someone whom she still considers a threat to American democracy. There's no overstating her feelings about Trump. She's not one to plaster on a pleasant face and pretend for protocol's sake, michelle doesn't do anything because it's expected, or it's protocol or it's tradition. Listen, if your man is talking to Trump, it's too late. It's too late. You could say whatever you want, but you're a first lady, you weren't a president, so your opinion kind of doesn't matter, but I find it entertaining, so let's keep going. The source notes that Trump's history of attacking the Obama family and making disparaging comments, so let's keep going. That she could for eight years as first lady. The source says of her fulfilling her official responsibilities in 2017. You'll see her when she has a project or cause to promote, but she doesn't feel the need to be a public figure anymore.
Speaker 1:On January 14th, the former first lady's office confirmed to people that she would not join her husband, former President Barack Obama, at Trump's inauguration Days earlier, she also missed former President Jimmy Carter's funeral, where she would have been seated beside President-elect Trump. Her advisers attributed her unexpected absence to a scheduling conflict, stating that she was in Hawaii on an extended vacation. According to CNN's Jeff Zeleny, historically, presidential funerals and inaugurations are occasions when former presidents and first ladies come together in honor of the nation's highest office. Secondly, kamala Harris was neither Well, she was a vice president, right, so all right, fine. Whatever, trump threw a wrench in that longstanding tradition after losing his 2020 reelection bid when he refused to attend the inauguration of his opponent, joe Biden. Trump's absence four years ago marks the first time since 1869 that a president refused to attend their successor's swearing in With roles reversed in 2025,.
Speaker 1:Biden expressed a desire to return to normalcy, aiming to put past tensions behind him and pass the baton back to Trump in person on January 20th. Though the Clintons and Bushes followed the Biden's lead by committing to attend Trump's inauguration, michelle, who spent the 2024 campaign expressing her concerns about Trump's vision for America, broke from the group of former first couples. People's Source says that the death of Michelle's mother, marianne Robinson, in 2024 has weighed heavily on the Obamas in recent months, suggesting that celebrating their first holidays without Robinson may have amplified a sense that self-care and quality time with family are more important than tense political appearances. Why would it have been tense? You don't even have to say anything to that motherfucker. Just stand there.
Speaker 1:I've gone to plenty of family functions where I don't fucking talk to anybody. My fucking one cousin, I went to his child's birthday. He didn't even talk to me. Now, one time His wife did, though, and I went, I sucked it up and went like what the fuck is the problem? You don't have to eat shit. You can just chill, chill in silence, be like ah yes, this wine is great. Ah yes, this. Just chill, chill in silence. Be like, ah yes, this wine is great. Ah yes, this champagne's great. And then just fucking go home and then talk shit with Barack on the car ride home which is what I do with my man Like, oh my God, did you see what she was wearing? Oh my God, like from any family function.
Speaker 1:It's been an emotional time for her. The source says the holidays were always a time for family. In Hawaii, in December, michelle teared up on the Jennifer Hudson show after bringing up her mother saying that Robinson inspired her new self-help guide Overcoming a workbook. The beauty of this book was that I was able to write a love letter to my mother to my mom, she told Hudson, adding that it's sprinkled with the common sense wisdom she left me with. Like your voice matters, I see you, you got power, girl bye.
Speaker 1:The first comment is so stupid though. Is Michelle going to be missed at the inauguration? Not by President Trump, that's for sure, nor by anybody else that has a lick of sense. She'll be missed like a hangnail. Anyway, don't be a hater like that. But I'm just saying, like you know, there's certain things, there's certain hills to die on. This isn't one of them. So I get what she's trying to do by making a public statement, but her husband already fucking faltered there. Okay, because they don't agree, apparently because he's going and attending shit that he's at that Trump is at. So basically he's negating what his wife is saying, which is I don't stand with Trump, which is like that's what I mean by saying that you know, her shit doesn't really matter because her husband's already committed to attending things that he's at, even after all that shit. And you know what that is.
Speaker 1:That's growth bitch, like, listen, race. I'm not saying racism is a good thing. I'm not saying any of that shit. What I'm saying is that at some point you have to just let shit go. Are you going to be angry the whole your whole life? I mean I can because of stupid shit like this. But like, at the end of the day, trump's another stupid white man. Like, how many more stupid white men do we have? We have so many.
Speaker 1:This country was founded on stupid white men, bringing stupid white men problems to everybody else, like us Spanish idiots, or you know African American idiots or Native American idiots or Mexican American idiots, or you know African American idiots or Native American idiots or Mexican American idiots or immigrants who are idiots? Like everybody's an idiot. Brooke Shields, white woman, idiot vagina. Like let's loop back around to that white woman, idiot vagina. And then we got, you know, hillary Clinton white woman, idiot vagina. She, like you know what I mean. Like everybody's stupid.
Speaker 1:There's no smart people in this world. There's people who build up, people who want them to look smart. Like Elon Musk, he's failing in a couple of ways. Socially speaking, he looks like he could not speak to a bar of soap in the shower. He can put E equals MC squared to use and make some fucking robots. Make Teslas that look ugly as shit. Make that stupid ugly Tesla truck. We also got Jeff Bezos, who's the only thing that he did really good was Amazon. That same day shipping hits so good. That same day package oh my God, the first time they ever did same day shipping, I'm telling you right now. He fucking hit the mark with that one. But we've become impatient, though, because now we want everything same day, otherwise we lose our fucking shit. Today, for example, I'm going to give you a little break from some bullshit that I've been reading.
Speaker 1:I went to fucking so I woke up this morning. It's my day off. I have tomorrow off as well. I woke up. I was like all right, I don't have any iced coffee. I put a shipped order in for some groceries. I put an Amazon order in for some like household utensil shits, like I got some, uh, a four in one dicer like a vegetable and fruit chopper. Holy fuck, that thing's going to get used. I got that. I got an extension cord, kind of, for the living room, because by my couch I have an outlet, but it creates a dent in my couch when you plug anything in, and I don't want that because I'm crazy.
Speaker 1:What else did I get? Toilet paper, I got a whole bunch of stuff. So two orders down, okay. So I said both of those things are out the way. So two orders down, okay. So I said both of those things are out the way. So I'm going to go get something to eat. For breakfast. I went to Dunkin'. They fucked up my coffee, which I'm not surprised, and they also fucked up my food, which I'm not surprised. This Dunkin' over here supposedly just underwent new management. They need new management again Because I asked for my basic order, which is typically a bacon, egg and cheese on a plain bagel toasted with butter.
Speaker 1:Okay, one sentence bacon, egg and cheese on a plain bagel toasted with butter. You can put it together as a fucking hashtag at this point, because everybody from New York orders the same shit and I can't find a place here that'll do it right. Maybe Einstein bros or Bagel Brothers, something like that. They might be good, but I haven't tried it yet. So I got my food. They checked it, so they check it now. So I was like are we sure? Because this bag looks kind of light? So are we sure that this is my sandwich.
Speaker 1:So the chick is nice and she goes and she checks. She goes yep, this is your sandwich and sandwich. So the chick is nice and she goes and she checks. She goes yep, this is your sandwich. And she gives me my coffee. My coffee has no taste to it, like I taste everything else. I don't taste the coffee, but I don't taste the sugar.
Speaker 1:So I asked for an iced hazelnut, light and sweet, which means I want a boatload of creamer or milk in it and I want a boatload of sugar in it. Okay, I want to be in a sugar coma, all right. So I taste it. And I want a boatload of sugar in it. Okay, I want to be in a sugar coma, all right. So I taste it and I'm like, oh my God. I looked at the bottom and they gave me the lightest amount of sugar they possibly could. I don't know who's running that place, but I need new management in there ASAP. So of course, I'm like, all right, when I get home I'll fix it, but at least my sandwich is all right, right, wrong.
Speaker 1:I don't know what cheese they used, but it was not yellow American. It tasted more like provolone, if I'm being honest with you and it's more of a bitter taste. It's a difference in taste, okay. And then my bagel was dry, which means they either didn't toast it or they didn't put butter, or both. So I was texting my cousin, nikki, and I was telling her about it and I was like she goes that Duncan, you just kind of like have to order and pray that they give you the right shit. I'm like, and you know what's funny is that it's probably because I went through the drive-thru, because if I'd actually stepped up in that bitch and waited for my food, opened it up in front of them, I'd have been like no, this cheese isn't correct and there's no butter or anything else on my shit, so go back there and do it again.
Speaker 1:So when I got home and not only that, they don't even fucking give out napkins anymore, and I'm sure I've complained about this before, but are these napkins coming out of your paycheck? I got not one lick of napkin, which is also why I waited to eat it, because if there was butter on it it was going to drip all over the place. And there goes my pajamas and there goes my happiness for the day. So I had two agendas today I had to get breakfast and then I'm out of lotion in the bathroom. I come to that conclusion yesterday that today was going to be the day I go out and get lotion.
Speaker 1:And, thankfully enough, in the same plaza that that fuck ass Dunkin Donuts is in, there is a Bath and Body Works. So I went over there and, of course, as soon as I get in there, I'm like ah yes, everything smells delicious. I walk up in there, this chick named AJ comes up to me and she goes Hi, so what are you in the mood for today? Or welcome in. So I'm like hey, so I'm just kind of looking around, but I might be interested in a new scent, but I definitely need a lotion. I have nothing left in my house. So she goes okay, well, my name's AJ. Do we have a new fragrance here? Have you smelled this yet? I was like no, it's a Sweethearts collection, like the damn candy, and it was for Valentine's Day, I'm guessing. She goes this is the first scent that's ever utilized grape, I guess. So she sprays it on the little paper, she gives it to me and I'm like oh, I'm going to need this entire shelf, I'm going to need this entire display. So of course, I smell it and she goes yeah, it's a collaboration with the Sweethearts candy. Smell it and she goes, yeah, it's a collaboration with the sweetheart's candy. So I'm like, fuck, yeah.
Speaker 1:So then of course I go it's buy three, get one free. And they always get you with that shit. You get you buy three full size products, get one free. So of course I grab two body lotions, a body cream and a body wash. So that's four items. And then, of course, as I make my way to the front, they have the little antibacterial things. So I get one of those and I get an axolotl to hold it. So that shit is.
Speaker 1:I love Bath and Body. They can take all my fucking money, if I'm being honest with you. So I spent a lot of money today and tomorrow, I think, will be a pedicure day, today's a wax day, and then that's it. And then I'm sitting home the rest of the weekend and watching all the bills take the rest of it. So then, of course, once I'm done there, I go up to the counter to pay for my shit and by 3, I get one free. So I'm like, fuck, yeah, this is going to be good.
Speaker 1:So all five of those, all six, wait, yeah, all six items came out to $60. So I was like, okay, and that's with the buy three, get one free. She's like, yeah, so it's actually. What they do is the difference in the cost of one item is subtracted from every item you bought. So from those four items they subtracted like two to $3 each on each thing, because the one item alone would have cost like 15 bucks. So it was like, oh, that's interesting, like I'd never had anyone explain it to me because I never actually cared before. But like you start to care about what you're spending your money on as you get older and like I said, 35, going on 36, and I'm starting to care where my pennies go, all right, so that was my fun little fucking morning.
Speaker 1:And then, of course, I someone's mail was still coming to this address, which is still incorrect, obviously. So to do the mail carrier a favor, I wrote on the envelopes resident no longer lives at this address, on all three pieces that were just sitting on the counter, because my boyfriend refuses to put it in the outgoing. I'm like bro, just put it out there, he goes. No, he doesn't deserve to get that mail. I'm like that makes no fucking sense. He's not getting it anyway, like if he didn't do mail forwarding, that's his fucking problem. And then you know the person. The company can email him and they'll figure it out. Just put it in the outgoing. I don't want it in my house, fucking ridiculous. Anyway, that's the stupid, asinine conversation we're having. All right, let's go back to this bullshit.
Speaker 1:Justin Baldoni versus Deadpool. So here we go. So anyone who's seen Deadpool versus Wolverine has seen all the different variants of Deadpool, because that's what happens. He goes into another universe and he meets all of the other characters. He meets Ugly Pool, the fucking dog. He meets Nice Pool and Girl Pool and Kid Pool and Baby Pool and all this shit. It's hilarious. That movie was good. Girl pool and kid pool and baby pool and all this shit. It's hilarious. That movie was good. Anyway, justin Baldoni is claiming that nice pool was characterized after him and I'm like, okay, why? Because you wore your hair in a bun one time. Because that's the side by side comparison they make. So they have Justin Baldoni on the left wearing a man bun and then on the right they show Ryan Reynolds as nice pool, obviously with no mask on, because it's beautiful and fucking hair in a, in a man bun like a half up half down. So I thought this was so funny because he goes.
Speaker 1:Justin Baldoni's lawyer claims Ryan Reynolds mocks actor in Deadpool and Wolverine. No question. Brian Friedman weighed in on fan speculation that the Nicepool character was based on the it Ends With Us actor-director. How long is this going to go on? For? Someone need to kill themselves and that's it. Justin Baldoni's lawyer responded to fan theories that Ryan Reynolds took a shot at his actor-director client and his Marvel blockbuster Deadpool and Wolverine, stating that there's no question that the character Nicepool was a dig at the star. Attorney Brian Friedman appeared on Megyn Kelly's SiriusXM show to talk about the legal troubles between Baldoni and his it Ends With Us co-star, blake Lively, who has accused Baldoni of sexual harassment. Kelly brought up the theory during sharing a Deadpool and Wolverine clip featuring the character Nicepool, a man-bun-donning, pseudo-feminist variant of Reynolds Deadpool.
Speaker 1:It's stupid. What I make of it is make of that is if your wife is sexually harassed, you don't make fun of Justin Baldoni. There's no question it relates to Justin. I mean anybody that saw that hair bun. If somebody is seriously sexually harassed, you don't make fun of it. It's a serious issue. First of all, nobody even fucking knew who he was. Nobody even fucking knew who he was before this movie and all this accusation shit. I like how he goes. What I make of that is if your wife is sexually harassed, you don't make fun of Justin Baldoni. Who the fuck is Justin Baldoni? A coke slumlord? What are we talking about? Justin Baldoni is only has a name right now because of it ends with us and this fucking legal thing they're going through. I don't understand how they're making Justin Baldoni out to be like Harvey Weinstein or some shit, and Harvey Weinstein is like half dead in jail, like the comparison of these two people is outrageous. Bruh, what do you mean? And Ryan Reynolds can make fun of whoever the fuck he wants to. Okay, like there's no who cares.
Speaker 1:In the clip, the alternate version of Deadpool, also played by Ryan Reynolds, introduces himself as Nicepool and says of the character played by Lively wait till you see Ladypool. She's gorgeous, she just had a baby too, and you can't even tell who the fuck. I don't think you can say that, remarked Deadpool, to which Nicepool responded that's okay, I identify as a feminist. Lively filed a lawsuit against Baldoni last month, accusing the actor and director of sexual harassment on set and orchestrating a smear campaign against her to ruin her reputation. Who thought of that during this movie? Who thought of that? Unless they're just watching it now and they're like, oh shit. Who's heard Justin Baldoni have this conversation with her about how her body looks good after she just had a kid? Ryan Reynolds wasn't even on set for that to have happened. Lawsuit against Lively.
Speaker 1:The fallout for Baldoni has been swift His agency dropped him. A former publicist, too, has filed her own lawsuit against him and his current publicity team, and Liz Plank, who co-hosted Baldoni's podcast about rigid gender roles and toxic masculinity, announced her departure from the show. Justin Baldoni the first comment Justin Baldoni is a huge man child that refuses to take accountability for his own misogynistic behavior. He needs to grow up. That refuses to take accountability for his own misogynistic behavior. He needs to grow up. The second comment is my favorite Wow, who cares? Exactly. And then the other guy goes. Today I learned that apparently Justin Baldoni invented the man bun. See, see what I mean. Justin Baldoni is nobody.
Speaker 1:To anybody who doesn't know about any of this, let's say that those few lines from a movie were about JB. So what comedies, tv shows and social media make jokes about people in the public eye all the time, unless it's slander, no one sues. Plus, I had not associated the lines with JB until the attorney mentioned it. You see what I'm saying, though. Like there's people out here who make fucking sense. Okay, nobody's. Nobody's attributing those lines of that movie to this man because nobody knows who he is. I had to look up who Justin Baldoni was and his fucking list.
Speaker 1:His filmography is nothing. It's indie shit that nobody would watch. He's a writer or a producer. He's behind the camera. He's nobody. He's not an actor. He acted in this movie, did some shit wrong and instead of apologizing it, we're still hearing about some shit wrong. And instead of apologizing it, we're still hearing about it months later. And now he's trying to call Ryan Reynolds into account and again, wolverine.
Speaker 1:Like I mentioned last time, they cut it out. Like, what are we doing? What is happening? Is this what constitutes as news these days? Of course, I'm making it entertaining because of my commentary, because what the fuck, dude Like these politicians and these celebrities are duking it out for who's going to be more fucking popular this year in the news? And I got to tell you I miss the early 2000s where Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were saying you know buffalo wings and chicken of the sea is tuna and all this other stupid shit they made fun of. Where is my era of good reality TV? Housewives of New York that shit was dope, too when it first came out. Now, who the fuck knows? Real Housewives of New Jersey that shit was funny. What is going on? Can we get back to that? I don't understand. This is why I'm not watching new shit.
Speaker 1:The Golden Bachelor already him and his woman have split because he's got cancer. He is terminal. How long were they even married for? First of all, don't. Here's my problem with that. Why wouldn't you guys stay married? Why wouldn't you guys just stay married? You're proving the point to people that this shit is just for the public eye. He acts like he can't spend time with his family and his new wife. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Anyway. And here's another good one. Why are you shitting on Betty White? Here's another good one. I read there was so much interesting but not interesting shit at the same time. This one. I was like there ain't no way Betty White would make fun of a fat person. But here we are right. We're in 2025. The woman's been dead for like what a year.
Speaker 1:Now Sally Struthers claims to be fat shamed by Betty White. First of all, sally Struthers was, is fat, still is. Okay, the actress spoke about a let's see. Sally Struthers says she was fat shamed by Betty White, calls her a very passive, aggressive woman. You're only saying this shit because this woman's dead, because I guarantee you, if the if, if she was alive, the Lord would have granted her so much adrenaline and strength to beat the fuck out of Sally Struthers and I would pay for that fight. I would pay to see that fight Because, unfortunately, I wish I could take back my portion of the Netflix subscription that fucking subscribed to the Tyson-Logan-Paul shit. Okay, the actress spoke about a moment she felt fat shamed by the star, although she shared love for one of her Golden Girls co stars. This was back in 1990, whatever.
Speaker 1:On the January 13th episode of let's Talk About that with Larry Saperstein and Jacob Belotti, the 77 year old actress spoke about some of her past interactions with White, who died in 2021. Jesus Christ, four years, at 99 years old, the All in the Family star told the host that the house used for the exterior of the Golden Girls house was up the street from where she lived in LA's Brentwood neighborhood. Then she said that now that she's gone she wanted to talk about White. You're a pussy bitch for that one. You're a pussy bitch for that one. You should have talked about her while she was alive so she could defend herself. She's dead, bro. I can't wait for her fucking family to come after you. For that shit, I can't wait. This is the kind of shit that makes me mad. If you hate me in real life, tell me while I'm alive, bitch, because we not going to solve it. While I'm alive I'm just going to take that anger and angst and be happily walking to my grave with it, because Betty White don't do that national treasure like that. I know everybody loves her. They loved her so much, struthers said they signed petitions to get her to guest host Saturday Night Live. I know all that. I didn't have such a great experience with her. She called her a very passive, aggressive woman. Sally Struthers, you're ugly and fat. How about that? How about that one?
Speaker 1:The Gilmore Girls actress said that once she went to White's house to work on a pilot for a new game show, white asked her housekeeper to bring them something to eat. Then the plate was set in the middle and it was cookies, I think. So I reached for a cookie and she said in front of everyone oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you, dear, you don't need a cookie. Good for her, fuck you. The hosts were shocked, totally, fat shamed me in front of the rest of the people in the room, struthers said and I thought, gosh, that's not nice. So clap back at her in person. Stupid ass, defend yourself. So you really must have felt fat then, because if you're not fat and she says something like that, take the cookie anyway, bitch, and eat it in front of her happily and spread the crumbs everywhere. That's what you do. You don't do this. Pussy, bitch shit.
Speaker 1:Struthers had much more positive memories of another Golden Girls star, however, bea Arthur. Arthur guest starred on All in the Family during the show's second season as Maude, the cousin of Jean Stapleton's Edith Bunker. Wow, sally Struthers was nice looking. Bea Arthur comes in and she's a force of nature, struthers told the hosts of the star, who died in 2009 at age 86. She remembered that before filming an episode, the cast would do a run through for the producers and people from the network. Sometimes they'd look up, but you couldn't count on them for a lot of laughs because they were too busy making sure we said the words that were on the page. But Arthur was filthier than a drunken sailor and put all sorts of expletives in her lines to shock these men. The actress shared Arthur ended up starring as Maude in an eponymous All in the Family spinoff before joining Golden Girls.
Speaker 1:Struthers also told the host that she would often run into Arthur at the grocery store and end up laughing with her in the aisles. She would trash everyone we ever knew. The actress remembered I loved how filthy she was. So you like someone who's outright filthy, but you don't like someone telling you to keep your cookies in check. Anyway, what a pussy bitch. Struthers, who won two Emmys for All in the Family, most recently starred in A man on the Inside with Ted Danson. She also starred as Babette on Gilmore Girls and has worked widely as a voice actress on series including Dinosaurs and Tailspin, in addition to a recent theatrical production of an old-fashioned family murder. Fuck this pussy bitch.
Speaker 1:First comment why would you talk about her now? Why would you tarnish someone's legacy when it happened a whole century ago? Fyi, you won't stay relevant by doing what you're doing. Leave the dead to rest, because I guarantee you she's loved by everyone. That's what I'm saying, bruh. That's cute. You tried to be cute about it, lady. Another comment comment Really, let's just leave Betty alone or anyone else who's passed away and cannot defend themselves. Very inappropriate. So you're mad because Betty White was mean to your face, but you talk trash behind everyone's back. That's what I'm saying. Oh my God, people are making so much sense I'm about to cry. Quit, trying to stay relevant. Your hypocrisy is comical.
Speaker 1:I assumed White had a mean girl side after seeing her reaction to Getty and others mentioned not always even to her, it was to anyone with her close, by someone she clearly didn't like. Getty especially was strong and fit. Her described treatment of her and jokes White made openly after she died, whatever. Now that she's gone she wants to talk trash about her. What an utterly tacky, classless woman. If that's the true story. Yes, betty was mean, but you don't wait until someone's died and then start bad-mouthing them when they can't tell their side. I might have felt sorry for Sally except for her story about ragging on everything, everyone with Arthur. At least Betty said it to her face, unlike her back, right? So many bitches are making so much sense I might fucking cry.
Speaker 1:She spoke of the real Betty White that she knew as a neighbor and was a guest in her house. It was rude and mean of her to serve cookies and fat shame her. People never forget how someone makes you feel bad, but bad mouthing someone after they're dead and can't defend themselves or even apologize isn't cool either. Maybe the way b arthur came off funny, outrageous, but not cruel. But I do know people that say they love celebrities, love this character or image, but they really don't know the real person, whatever that means. Wow, she should know better than to diss betty white. She's just looking for attention. Also, big deal if she made a comment about a cookie 50 years ago. Is that what fat shaming is For real, bruh? This is what I mean, though, with Brooke Shields and now Suzanne Struthers.
Speaker 1:Sally Struthers, excuse me, listen to me, bitches, if you're going to be like this now, you should have been like this back then. Okay, all of a sudden, bitches have backbone years after something happened. Do it when it happens in the moment. Stick up for yourself. Don't do this pussy footing around waiting on shit, like I did that shit one time. That shit just sits with you. Just let that anger out in the moment. Okay, stop doing this. I'm going to wait and see how I feel about it. You could sleep on it for a day, allow yourself a day to collect your thoughts, okay. But we're not going to do this 50 years later after someone's dead shit, or we're not going to do four years later after my vagina feels good. I'm going to complain that he did it without my consent. And then compare it to rape is also fucking, just outrageous. Like celebrities, get your head out of your ass.
Speaker 1:Golden Girls was an awful show. Besides the theme song, all they did was make fun of each other. Shut the fuck up soft ass, christine. Shut the fuck up soft ass, karen. Not everyone agrees with your statement. People like what they like, right, like this. This section is not for comments about Golden Girls. This is about Sally Struthers being a pussy bitch, okay, and you know Michelle Obama being a pussy bitch, and also who else? Justin Baldoni is definitely a pussy bitch. Tell you that this, and then I'm gonna close it on this one, because this is my favorite thing I read because I posted this in my family chat and I was like I wouldn't give y'all shit.
Speaker 1:Either, after family excludes her from a group trip, a woman wins the lottery and says she won't be sharing the winnings. I'm telling you right fucking now, if I won the lottery and my family was like, yeah, we don't want you on this trip, or if I'm the only one that's not invited and everybody else says some shit and I play the lotto and I win, you bitches ain't getting a dime dime. Okay, you guys ain't given a fucking pubic hair of money. The woman says she only learned her family was planning a trip without her when her sister posted about it on Instagram, which is also fucked. A woman who just won the lottery says she won't be giving any of the winnings to her family after they excluded her from a group trip.
Speaker 1:In a post shared to Reddit, the anonymous 28-year-old good for you bitch writes that she comes from a family of five her parents, two siblings and her Growing up. I was always the black sheep, she writes. My siblings were the golden children and while I wasn't outright ignored, I definitely got the short end of the stick, even as an adult. The woman writes she's been ostracized, including recently when her family planned a big overseas trip, one that she found out about via her sister's Instagram posts. When I asked why I wasn't included, my mom said we didn't think you'd want to come and besides, we're tight on budget. It hurt, but I let it go, she adds.
Speaker 1:She continues fast forward to a month ago. I bought a lottery ticket on a whim and ended up winning a life-changing amount over 2 million. I decided to use the money wisely paid off debts invested and set aside some for fun. I didn't tell my family right away because I didn't want them to treat me differently. After she bought a new car, however, her family began asking questions and when she told them the news, they were furious. She writes. My mom said it's selfish to keep all that money to myself when they're struggling. News to me.
Speaker 1:Given the vacation, my sister hinted that I should pay for her student loans and my brother outright asked me to buy him a house, she writes. She continues I calmly explained that I wasn't obligated to share just because we're related, especially given how they've treated me in the past. I mentioned the trip as an example of how I've been excluded. My dad said that was different. This is family money. No, the fuck, it's not. No, it isn't. It's definitely not fucking family money. If it's my fucking money that bought the ticket, if we all went in on it, sure Now the family's calling her an ungrateful brat and saying I'm ruining the family dynamic. Y'all ruined the family dynamic for her first by excluding her from a family trip.
Speaker 1:Reddit users are weighing in on the situation, with many commending the poster for cutting off her family. It's your money and your decision on how you want to spend it. It's obvious they never respected you to start with. They don't deserve anything from you, wrote one Another added. Added another Reddit user. It's a harsh reality that sometimes the people who should love and support us end up being the most the source of the most pain and hurt you. Goddamn right, brah. They wouldn't give shit for me, brah.
Speaker 1:I miss the part where it was family money. She bought the ticket herself. It wasn't a buy-in. All of a sudden they're struggling financially, as the daughter pointed out, but you can travel overseas. I say nay, nay. They couldn't give her the time of day. Now, all of a sudden she's their daughter and sister and they have all this love and time for her. I guess they all will just have to save their money and not go on lavish trips. What a shame, bro. I'm about to cry with all these common sense people. If this were one of those AITH posts, I'd tell her no, it's not like 2 million is a significant sum to be helping a whole family anyway. The audacity to say it's family money when her money bought the ticket is laughable. Blood doesn't make you family makes you related. What she chose to do with her winnings is none of their business, but I do hope she took an extravagant trip with friends and overposted it. She's doing the right thing. This is their karma for treating her like an outcast her whole life. I think that it was fate that she won the lottery and even though money can't fix the hurt she suffered with, it is a nice respite for what she's had to deal with.
Speaker 1:The way my family is, I wouldn't share with them either. They've lied and stolen from me over the years. No way would I share anything with them. Bro, this isn't about you. Don't take a comment section and make some shit about you. That clearly is not Immature behavior, a childish and petty act of revenge. It's my opinion that she wouldn't have shared any of the money, which is her right.
Speaker 1:Morale may be suspect if the family could use help but not sharing, because not being invited to a vacation that's just what she believes Sounds like a good justification. Yeah, fuck, yeah, fuck. Yeah, dude Wouldn't share a dime. You go, girl, I'd use some of the money on a really good therapist, relocate to a different continent and change my number to the family. Bye, felicia, that's a good one. I would leave too. Fuck y'all. Wow, I don't think I would share either. How is this family money? The origin of all this? Predates her winning a lottery. Everyone has free will, ill treatment of her and now she's exercising hers. What goes around comes around. Funny how now her family wants to include her in their life. Bravo.
Speaker 1:I would suggest giving them each a card that you insert money into for a birthday and such and place two dollars in each one. Tell them go buy a lottery ticket that's delicious, on your way out of the door. Tell them that you're heading overseas to visit the places that you could have been had you been invited. Sounds like a bunch of money rubbers. I'd be ashamed. Nah see, I would not give them money. I would give each one a small gift card, less than 50, and call it a day.
Speaker 1:She included them more so than how they included her. I'm not giving them shit. An adult that's what he put as his name. Give them 25. Nope, not giving them shit. That's why family starts with an F. What the fuck does that mean? Parents ruin the family dynamics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuse the typos, I didn't see them before posting. Bad eyesight. You go girl. I've been in the same boat, but I'm positive I'll have my lottery day someday soon. Enjoy, do you, and don't give up. Don't give a rip, yep, rip, yep. Exactly. Fuck that, fuck that family, bro.
Speaker 1:I put that in my family group chat and I was like if y'all ever exclude me from shit, just know, this is how I'm responding. If I hit the lotto, that's all. It's not gonna be nothing crazy, it's not. It's just you can get the fuck out of here. That's it. I'm not. I love y'all, that's it. I'm not. I love y'all, but that's it. That's it for me. Queen, you're not getting a lick of my money.
Speaker 1:So these were the articles that I read this week and they were fantastic. Okay, some of it was stupid, some of it's unnecessary, but some of it I had to entertain you guys with. So I hope y'all enjoyed listening. I love you guys. I will speak to you guys next week. Sorry, already looking through my mail for the next fucking articles and I already have one fucking starting with Justin Baldoni. But it's amazing. I can't wait to talk about more of this shit with you guys. I had a really good time with it, I had a lot to say about all of it and I'm glad I waited to share it with you guys. My special people Love you so much. Hope you enjoy your upcoming weekend and the rest of your week and I'll speak with you next time. Love you guys. Bye, thank you.
