08 - Harnessing Your Healing Power with Adele-Marie Hartshorn

I'm joined today by Adele-Marie Hartshorn, a healer, coach, and public speaker renowned for her insightful approach to personal growth. 

Adele-Marie shares her profound journey from self-doubt to self-mastery, emphasising the critical role of regulating our nervous systems to enhance life quality and business success. 

Discover the undeniable power of magnificence and transcendence, as Adele-Marie unveils how these elements have propelled her forward in both personal and professional realms. 

Join us to learn why nurturing your nervous system isn't just a practice but a necessity for thriving in today's world. 

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses topics like personal trauma and emotional healing which might be sensitive for some listeners.

Powered by and edited by Mike Roberts at Making Digital Real

Transcript

Adele-Marie: 0:00

One of her colleagues cost her millions, like literally millions, because of her dysregulation. So this is powerful stuff, powerful and it's completely overlooked.

Unknown: 0:14

Welcome to show up and shine with the UK's leading life coach, Carole Ann rice, the podcast that is curious about what drives, motivates and inspires people to show up for success, even when the clouds gather, the chips are down and the duvet beckons.

Adele-Marie: 0:33

Well, hello there. It's a rainy Monday, it's autumn, and it's time to show up and shine. And I can't tell you how delighted I am today to be in the company of a glorious, golden Goddess of all things good. She's a healer, she's a coach. She does all sorts of amazing things inside and out. I'm going to introduce her properly in a minute. But basically what we talk about on show up and shine is overcoming the two words I absolutely love and use quite a lot, is magnificent. I like magnificence. And I use the word transcendent or transcend, because sometimes when I'm getting over some it's not just like I've got over it. I've transcended it. I love that word of well, transcending. I've overcome. I've drifted above. I've not only got over something I'm flying. But if you had magnificence transcendence, that sounds like quite a journey. And I know that my guest today has been on many transcendent, magnificent journeys, or magnificent, transcendent journeys. And her name is Adele Marie. And welcome Adele Marie, as I say, gorgeous Goddess of all things good. She is a healer, a coach, a public speaker, and she's got this amazing podcast, which I'm, I'm in awe of, because she's got a tribe of people behind her. It's putting the good words out there about how to overcome. Welcome Adele Marie, thank you so much for being my guest today. Thank you so much, and I love that, because I used to, well, I used to have a product called stand in your own magnificence. And I always say that I help my clients to literally stand in their own magnificence, because magnificence is what we all are, and we just forgot it during life, like how blinking magnificent we are, especially, but not exclusively, us women. Well, I'm glad you said that, and I completely agree with you. Sometimes when I'm on the tube and I look around at people's faces, and I think you don't know how magnificent you are, and it actually makes me get a lump in my throat, and I think all these sad faces. Everyone looks tired and stressed and worried. And you know, your magnificent show, shine it out there. You know, don't forget, we are these young, incandescent beings. I don't want to get too woo first thing into the podcast. But I can't keep my woo in. Sometimes it's my Woo is splurging out everywhere. It's like a muffin top I wear with woo coming out of me. But I'm not going to restrain my woo too much today, because I love the fact on your website, it says My life's mission is to use my knowledge, expertise and passion to inspire, motivate and support others to a life of success, abundance and self empowerment. Now you are like a department store. Of you're like Harrods, Harvey necks and Selfridges of healing practices. There's so many departments to what your offer. Adele Marie, tell us how you came to be this kind of Renaissance woman with all of these tools, this, this magic wand that's brilliant. Of of healing, healing practices and disciplines I've never seen someone possess offers. So tell us, I'm always

Unknown: 3:57

there yet, like, I'm always on a course. It's ridiculous, like honestly, thank you for reminding me, actually, of all the courses that I've done and my course, all of the qualifications I'll just talk you through. My journey, actually is my qualifications came from my self healing, because I felt completely and utterly broken. I felt completely and utterly worthless. I felt thick and stupid. And my saying was in my when I was a teenager, when I was a young woman, I'm thick and I'm stupid and I would never amount to anything. And it's heartbreaking, really, to think that that was my journey. And if I could really get go back and meet my I mean, I do meet my younger self in many of my practices and many of my healing sessions, but if I only knew that my brain was just different, you know, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 44 and I learn in a different way. So, you know, so my belief system about my about my. My abilities was really depleted coming out of the schooling system. So I went into fitness because I managed my own well being in fitness. But prior to that, I start at the beginning. My first actual profession was beauty therapy. So I trained as a beauty therapist, because all as I knew at 16 years old is I wanted to help people, and I wanted to help women to feel better, and that's my capacity of knowledge at that point. And I quickly got into the holistic side of things. And I am a healer. I'm a hands on healer, so I'm still very amazing at massage. You know, people say, Oh my gosh, what's going on with your hands? It's just something my mom used to tell me when I was a kid Adele, when I was rubbing sometimes lotion on her. There's something in your hands. You do it so well, like, what is it with your hands? And so I really intuitively knew that hands on healing was very helpful, and it wasn't just a physical thing. It was more than that. I when I was had a regular client, my one of my ladies used to say, the only thing that gets me through this, LA, this life and the stress that I'm going through is my massage with you every week. It just really helps me. And so I really leaned into the more holistic side of beauty therapy. And then I got into the fitness, fitness side of things, because I ran and I did what was then back in our day, pop mobility. Pop mobility. Jane Fonda and me high kicks and thongly at all. I mean, like warmers show my age now, but, but, yeah, I got into the fitness side of things, and then I was really into helping people to lose weight, and i i That was my journey, because my mom was the third woman in the country to have a stomach stapled back in the days, it was quite barbaric, and my family all were struggling with obesity, and I just saw something very, very different. So I went through the fitness journey, and then thought, Oh, I'm trying to do Pilates. And then I got into the more spiritual aspect of things, and started to do yoga. And then that was a whole other thing. And then I trained to be a yoga teacher, and then I needed to understand people's mind. And so then that's when I trained to be a coach. And then that wasn't enough for me, because there was more, because I could see that I needed some more skills and tools, because I could see that some of my clients weren't quite getting there. And so I trained to do NLP, then NLP Master Practitioner, then clinical hypnotherapy, because I needed more again, and then more recently, then I got into i and then I got into the trauma informed stuff, because still some of my clients weren't quite getting there. And again, this came on a journey of my own self healing, because I was I really struggled, because obviously I'd got this mood dysregulation and a nervous system dysregulation, and I a load of masking that I hadn't realized that I was doing, and so when I became trauma, informed and I studied the nervous system that now sits on top of all of my qualifications, because I feel that with a regulated nervous system. Everything can sit underneath that. But when we are dysregulated, nothing works. Our nutrition falls away. It's all of our exercise. Yeah, all of it. It's

Adele-Marie: 9:13

all it's very intriguing, because I've never heard about this regular, regulated nervous system. I mean, we all get up, we get on with life, we try and eat well, we do a bit of exercise. My other coach here and there. But if your nervous system is is out of sync, how do you go about correcting that? I mean, how do you know if it is? How do you work with clients? How do you help them with that? One thing that I think that we all should know, especially as coaches and I actually, I, I'm, can I say that I'm opening an academy next year? Because I think it's actually, I actually feel that as coaches, we should be teaching trauma informed work, because we all regulate to each other, and this is the science we are all connected. We are all connected, not just spiritually, because I can bring a bit of woo into this conversation, but our nervous systems are connected. And if you are a leader of a team of an organization, or even a one to one session, whoever's leading the organization, the team, the space, the group, the workshop, you are the leader. And so everybody's nervous system will start to regulate to yours. So if you're dysregulated, they will know it unconsciously, because they'll start to feel little glitches. I call them little glitches in the nervous system. And this comes back to when we are when we were cavemen, so the leader of the tribe would have been on high alert, looking for any danger, and then we would be attuned to them. And then if something was coming that would cause us danger, then we would all dysregulate, and then our nervous system will kick into fight flight. And now we have fawn or freeze, fight flight free freeze and fawn. Sorry. And so we are all connected, and we've never even though we've evolved over the millennia, our never systems haven't changed. And so as coaches, as space holders, as leaders of businesses, it's absolutely vital that we regulate our nervous system, and so we will be able to understand how to help our clients more by understanding our own nervous system and becoming really intimate with our own nervous system. And this, for me, was the absolute game changer, and this is what allowed me my business to thrive. Allowed me my health to improve. I started to earn more money. I started to heal the relationship with my my closest people. I started to be able to show up and speak on stages in a way that I love to do, because I can impact more people. Everything shifted when my nervous system regulated. So I feel that we need as coaches, as space holders, as helpers. The work around nervous system is really important, and we know when we're nervous our nervous systems is regulated because we'll be anxious, we'll be overthinking, we'll have digestive issues. We'll be not going to the loop properly. We'll have a nervous we every 10 minutes. We'll make things that are not about us all about us, like somebody said something, oh, that must been about me. You know. You know when somebody like, you know, you know when somebody says, I need to have a word with you, and we're, like, frightened today, oh, my gosh, I've done something wrong. It's all about me. That's when you know the systems is regulated, those tiny little things that we we don't know, like, why isn't this taught in schools? Why isn't it exactly, but you know, women are a bit more in tune with it. And I think also, to go back a few notches, if you've had a difficult upbringing, quite often, you're very much in tune with other people's moods and energy. So if you come from a volatile home, you will know energy very well, because you'll know when things can change quickly, if there's some violence coming, if there's a row about to brew, or someone's about to kick off. So if you come from that upbringing, you are quite you know your antenna are switching all the time for this energy. And you know when something's not regulated, or someone is someone else is not regulated. Hi, I'm Carol Anne. I've been a coach for 20 years, and I share all my incredible coaching tools and techniques at the pure Coaching Academy. If you're looking to train to be a life coach, join us. It's eight weeks of pure fun, intense training and everything you need to know about becoming a world class life coach. We also show you the tools and techniques you need to set up an amazing, abundant practice to pure Coaching academy.com. Is where you need to go to see how to change the world with you doing what you do best as an amazing life coach, but I think it's all of our duty to check in with ourselves, not just other people. Is my boss today regulated or not? But am I, and I say to my clients, self care isn't kind of like a guilt trip, like going to have a massage or the salon or going for a walk. That isn't something that's not a treat when you look after yourself, it is a gift to the world. And what if they go? What do you mean? Like if I go to the salon, that's a gift to the world? Yes, it is because your energy is going to be better. You're going to be happier you, and as we are all connected, your energy will go out into the world as a little spark of happiness and contentment and wellness. And that is the investment that we all benefit from. So yes, make your salon appointment, your massage, your. Icky, your foot massage, whatever it is that you want to, whatever it takes to make you whole and feel happier and regulated to do that and now, and if you, if you have, if your partner says you're spending a lot of time at someone, blame me or coach. My coach said, I've got to go shopping and I've got to go to the summer, because it is a gift to the world. And I'm just, I just really, truly believe that. But why is it? Then do we not think it is? Why? Why do we go to work? Why do bosses go to work when a foul mood and everyone and then spread it out into the world? Because they haven't even considered that their energy is affecting others. So this is such a good topic. Of this is what I've just recorded my podcast on, and I call it holding space for yourself first i i think it comes down to self awareness, like people are just not self aware enough to realize the impact of Their mood and their state, their emotional state, and how it impacts other people. And I feel that this is something that we as coaches have got to start to teach. You know, when we're working with organizations, when we're working with teams or team leaders, if we think about 93% of communication comes from nonverbal and this includes, you know, how people are standing, the tonality, the intonation of what they're saying, intonation before information or nervous systems can feel their energy. So actually, I think that if they're not self aware, then they really, they don't know that they need to actually shift and change this, not for the sakes of themselves, for their own health and well being, but for the productivity of their teams, for the for their well being of their families. Because, you know, trauma is passed down, you know, you know, and it passed down through generations. I've spent the last three and a half years that healing generational trauma, you know, that was lightfully handed down to me. Thanks very much. And so people really need to, we need to start having these kind of conversations more often. Carol, so so that we can, so that we can really take responsibility for our own selves and how that is impacting the lives of others and for those people who are running their own teams and organizations. Do you realize that if you are stuck, if you can, and when you do, regulate yourself, your productivity of the people that you work with is going to absolutely skyrocket. Your own productivity will skyrocket and and just as a little note, and I think that this is just a little important piece of information when we're little, and if we have a turbulent childhood, what we actually do is we disconnect from our physical body as a coping mechanism, and we live in our head and not in our bodies, which means we're disconnected from our heart, which means that then we don't know. We don't know when we're making the right decisions. We're not listening to our own inner wisdom. So if we're making a bad business decision, we're completely disconnected from it, because we're not following our own heart. And I was talking to one of my clients the other day, and she works for an organization, and she was saying that one of her colleagues cost her millions, like literally millions, because of her dysregulation. So this is powerful stuff, powerful and it's completely overlooked. So when you're talking about the bottom line here, which is money, productivity and staff retention, this should be taken much more seriously. And it's not. It's not just oh, about feeling okay in the office and a little bit of work life balance. This is serious, emotional, deep healing that needs to go on in order for business to survive, happiness at work, to be better, and for the right people to be in the right jobs. Because the our energy does it kind of invades everything you know. And if you're, if you're running a team of people, and you're not, you're not in the right space for that, it's not going to work. I have, I'm also coaching staff who are saying that their managers are cast a bad feeling over everything, and they're all taking that energy home with them, yeah, but, but it's not, but it's not looked at. I mean, if you got into Goldman Sachs, you might change the world. Oh my gosh, I would love that. And it's so it's so funny, because from the similar organization who I know that one of their colleagues cost them hundreds of 1000s, they then said, Oh, I. Oh yeah, we can't afford, we can't afford Adele to come in at the moment. And I was just laughing to myself, thinking, bless you. You have no idea the power of of how my work could actually save you millions of pounds every single year, because you have no idea this is not about business strategy, or, you know, financial growth, that's not my area of expertise, but I will come in and I will help you to regulate yourself, listen to your own body, so that when you are making decisions that are going to either cost your business millions or grow your business millions, then it's, it's not a you're going to get so much return on investment, and it comes from literally, literally listening to your own body. It's, it's not rocket science, but it's, it's actually imperative. But I'm going to ask you a really obvious, but kind of deep question, then how do we listen to our bodies? How do you do that? Because I could say, right, I'm listening to our body now. A little bit hungry. I didn't have breakfast. That was a bit of a gurgle going on. What is listening to your body? What does it mean? Oh, I love this. Such an amazing question. Okay, so because most people are disconnected. We have to do this bit by bit if you have, if you are somebody that has unfortunately had trauma in our life. Now I'll just run into a little bit of a side note here. When I talk about trauma, it may not be the obvious things, like being abused or being battered or living in a war zone. You may have two parents that you love you, however, your parents may have been struggling financially. They may have been struggling with their own emotions. They may have been struggling with their own addictions, and weren't emotionally present for you to hold that space, for you to be nurtured, and your nervous system to be regulated so most people don't actually resonate with being traumatized. I certainly didn't for many, many years, like I have no idea. And so we have to be get very gentle with this, because if somebody has what's called Big T trauma and they have been abused, to be back in their body can feel very dangerous. So it has to be done in a very safe environment and held with with in a very, you know, safe space. So when I when I give these recommendations, I always say with a caveat of, take 100% responsibility of of doing these practices, but do it very gently and also approach this with complete kindness and compassion for yourself. Because when people are starting to go on this journey of self healing, self development, self awareness, they can start to be, oh, well, I can't meditate. I must be really bad at it. I can't sit with myself for five minutes. I And, and that's the a general thing. And So meditation is my first point of call where you can just literally do it for five or 10 minutes to start you off, and to take small little actions consistently, to really meet your body. So I just, you know, do suggest something really simple, like, say, like, set an alarm on your phone for 10 minutes and sit in silence for 10 minutes listening to your own breath. And every time your mind drifts away, which it will have, oh, gosh, did I put the washing on? Did I book the holiday? Did I what did I miss off my shopping list? You know, as we go, we bring it back to the breath, bring it back to the breath, bring it back to the present moment. Bring it back to the moment. Bring it back every single time your mind drifts away, bring it back and start to pay attention to anything that's going on with your body. Start to really pay attention to the rate of your heart. Start to pay attention on whether your breaths coming into the belly, into the chest, into the ribs, or into the chest. Start to pay attention like, how Where are my aches and pains in my body? How's my temperature today? What sensations are going on with my body? Do I feel calm and regulated, or is there a little glitch going on in my nervous system? Is there any emotions present today? And if there is an emotion present, what's the label of it? How can I label my emotion? And that is one of the first things to to really get to know your body, to listen to your body, start to sit with yourself, stop going down the scroll hole, turn the television off, be in silence, and even better, do this in nature, like, really connect with nature. She's got all the answers, and she's free. You know, we don't even need to go and sit in a salon. I call it going on a wonder walk, or an or a W, E, or walk where you just I'm going to look for berries. I'm going to look at a leaf. Yeah, I. Going to feel the wind on my face. I'm going to listen to the birds. I'm going to feel the rain. I'm going to feel my eyelashes move in the wind. It's like, I'm just going to be sensual around the park and feel all the lovely things that nature has to offer. It's a great way of of, kind of coming back to yourself. But also, you know, we to name the emotion I am feeling anxious. I am feeling disgruntled about something someone said. If you if you name it, you can tame it. Otherwise, it's just like a whole load of snakes going round and round and round in your head. And you think, I don't know why I don't feel so great today. Well, actually, let's spend a few minutes. What am I thinking? What am I holding on to? What is making my stomach feel a bit painful. Oh, because, yeah, I haven't done something, or I'm feeling bad about myself because I haven't done that. And when you start to name it, you can start park it on a piece of paper. Oh, right, that's why I'm feeling like this. What do I need to do now to help me park that store? You know, have 10 minutes. Listen to some classical music, look at the clouds, whatever it takes to regulate again. And these are very simple thing you could do on a train. You can lower your eyes, put your headphones on your headspace, but, but very, very simple things that we often don't do and overlook because we don't think that they're important breathing, and it's us breathing. I mean, I teach work, but like, I can tell where people are immediately. What if you, if you or anybody else was to sit across from me? I know exactly where people are breathing into and how they're feeling in their body. And if people who come to my yoga classes regularly, I will know if they're having trouble at home, if they're going through a difficult time and they sit on my mat, I will know exactly what's going on with them, because I will tell by the way that they're breathing. And so directing the breath down into the belly is a very good way of us starting to really come, you know, really connect with our bodies and just that. And we can do it at our office desk. We can do it on transport. We can do it when we're driving, breathing into the body, down into the belly, will start to allow us that connection back into ourselves. And so you. Thank you for reminding me that about the breathing there that's really, really powerful. But typically, how do people work with you? They say, I like this. So say our listeners now thinking I'd like to work with a donory. How I don't live near her. I can't go to her yoga classes. What normally happens? How? What was the typical kind of process that they would go through with a new if you had a new client come to you? So thank you for asking that. There's several ways. And actually, my wonderful friend of mine has just opened a wellbeing center in Farringdon, which I'm going to be working from in London. So I will be holding space in London, and so I will be, yeah, they I'll be seeing one to one clients there. I do work on zoom with clients, although some people like to see me face to face if we're doing some trauma release and Hypno, hypnosis. Yeah. So people can come to me for a one to one day retreat. I do three day day, three day residential retreats, because I have my own retreat venue in Bedfordshire, which is a beautiful, luxurious retreat place with a outdoor pool and hot tub and at my own yoga studio and a treatment room, wonderful. So I work with people one to one. Also, I do small groups and teams up here. People come here. I go into their workplaces and what else do? I now also host group retreats as well. So if somebody wants to come on a group retreat I just held last week at re a restore and revive retreat, and this is all about nervous system regulation and reviving your best for life. My next one of those is on May the 16th to the 18th and so, yeah, that's how people work with me. I'm very accessible. I have people like the world actually working with me. So Well, fantastic. As I say, You're the Harvey nicks, Harrods and Selfridges of the healing world, because you've got so many disciplines. And I forgot to say, you've worked with Tony Robbins, Louise Hay Michael Bernard, Beckwith, haven't heard of him? Bob Proctor, Wayne Dyer and Andy Harrington, my goodness, so many gurus, and it's all, it's all. You've taken all this wisdom in, and you're passing it all on to so many people in so many different ways. It's been really great to talk to you. Adele Marie, an inspiration as always, and because it's an aural thing, you can't see this glorious good Goddess of goodness and wisdom in her blue and her feathered earrings and her fabulous beads today and her gorgeous piled up a blonde hair, she is an absolute beacon of good health and well being so an absolute joy as always. But. Any any last thoughts you'd like to leave with people today. Adele Marie, it's raining. It's Monday. What could they do today to help kind of do a little bit of that regulating again? So my summary, my little few words of wisdom are, take a breath, relax your shoulders, relax your jaw, become present in this moment. And if you're going through anything that's really pushing you and pushing you to capacity, please remember that this too shall pass. Please remember that you are strong, you are resilient, and you are truly magnificent, and you do deserve to live the best life that you possibly can. Please treat yourself with kindness and compassion. And I always say, would you treat your Will you speak to your best friend in the way that you're speaking to yourself? If you're speaking to yourself in an unkind way, start to shift that can we please be more kind and compassionate to ourselves? And that will create a ripple effect, and that will impact not only yourself, but everybody that you come into contact with, and everybody that they come into contact with. So yeah, kindness and compassion first, please. Kindness and compassion first, then pass it on. And magnificent transcendence is the is the result. Thank you so much. It's been absolute joy. I feel kind of, you know, like my cup is full up again. Now I feel really being in your aura, absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much. And I will put in in the podcast, how to find you and links to your website as well. Thank you so much everybody for listening. It's been been a lovely experience being with the del Marie. Almost learn something new. Tune in again soon for the show up and shine tips. When you know the chips are down, it's raining, but you can still show up and shine. That's what we do. Thank you very much. Everybody

Unknown: 32:03

You have been listening to, show up and shine podcast. Thank you for tuning in to our latest episode. If you would like to learn more about becoming a coach, contact pure Coaching academy.com in the meantime, don't forget to be divine. Just show up and Shine. Shine your light, whatever the weather you.