Deb Falco; Language on the Court; Tennis Tantrums; Power of Gratitude; Stormy Boat Tales

🎾😜 "Game, set, Language!" How many times have you caught yourself apologizing for no reason in the middle of an intense tennis match? Our latest episode features Deb Falco, a zestful tennis player who doesn't hold back when it comes to expressing herself on the court. We'll get a closer look at the colorful language of tennis matches and why Jules is pushing herself to stop saying "sorry". We'll also talk about the importance of sportsmanship in tennis, and how some of the temper tantrums thrown by professional players might be affecting the younger generations.

Now, ever thought about the power of gratitude and community in sports? We sure did, and it's not just about tennis. Deb Falco, besides being a passionate tennis player, is also a firm believer in the bonds that are formed within our tennis community. Join us as we navigate through an emotional recount of a boat storm experience and the role gratitude played in that intense moment. Moreover, we'll reflect on how gratitude can enhance our physical and emotional well-being, not just on the court, but in everyday life. So, buckle up for a heartwarming exploration of gratitude, community and of course, tennis.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Remember nothing you hear on the Dirty Tennis podcast is intended as medical or expert advice.

Speaker 2: 0:06

Not for your kitchen.

Speaker 1: 0:07

Not for your body and not for your bedroom. We are here for entertainment purposes only.

Speaker 3: 0:11

We are not medical doctors and nothing said on this podcast should be considered medical advice. Please consult with your health care team before making changes to your diet and lifestyle. That being said let's get on with the show.

Speaker 2: 0:27

Is that how we start the show?

Speaker 1: 0:31

We're here today to bring you the latest in club tennis and holistic health. Great conversations about things you needed to know but didn't know you needed to know. I'm Ashley, I'm Dina, I'm Jules, and we're going to retake this right now 3, 2, 1. Good morning, hello and welcome to Dirty Tennis, clean Living, the podcast, where we talk a little dirty, we eat a little healthy, we laugh and learn together. I'm Ashley, I'm Dina.

Speaker 2: 0:59

I'm Jules. Welcome to the show. This morning we have in the house Deb Falcone, one of our favorite. New Yorkers Falco, All right all right, deb Falco, one of our favorite New Yorkers, straight from Long Island. She's a little mighty mouse in the tennis court. She's speedy, fast she's an amazing human being and we're just glad to have her with us today. Welcome, deb.

Speaker 1: 1:23

Thank you. Thank you for having me. We're going to be talking about gratitude today. We're going to be talking about tennis and we're going to get things started off with everyone's favorite subject language on the court. Deb, if I were going to say to you what is your favorite expression on the tennis court, I already know the answer to this. By the way, Spoiler alert. So with somebody, for example. They hit the ball, you hit it back. It looks like it's going in and it goes out.

Speaker 4: 1:49

If your mother's ass, there you go. Your mother's ass, yeah, that came from not being able to say the F bomb Growing up. No, when I was, I used to manage an office and it was like, oh, mother, beat in your effort and I would say, oh, I can't say that, so I would say, oh, your mother's ass.

Speaker 1: 2:12

Because that was a step up right there.

Speaker 4: 2:13

Oh, yes, that's so funny. So that's what I was known for actually.

Speaker 1: 2:17

You know your four foot seven, four, seven and a half. You're a tiny human.

Speaker 3: 2:22

She's not four, she's seven or eight and a half.

Speaker 1: 2:25

Five feet. I'm saying you get a lot of lung power out of your real estate there, cause I can hear you, at least a cord away, being like, yeah, your mother's ass. Which is so funny, I think. I personally say sorry or I say oops. Those are my two keywords.

Speaker 4: 2:40

I try not to, but it like just comes out naturally. It's so funny.

Speaker 1: 2:45

And it doesn't bother you if you're on the court Like and now Jules is very serious about her tennis.

Speaker 3: 2:50

Yeah, no more sorry's on the court.

Speaker 1: 2:52

Do they at your level? Do they say it, Jules, Do people?

Speaker 3: 2:55

say okay, I'm going to take this in a little different direction. What I would say is I think women in general apologize a lot for behavior. So sorry, is a is a stop word and it is one of those words that you can get into the habit of saying. I've actually, on the court, tried to delete that from my vocabulary. What do you do?

Speaker 4: 3:12

Like, how do you do that? I always say I'm sorry when I'm playing cooperatively with somebody and I hit it way up or over to the salt or and they don't get it, you know, and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, that's my sorry. Oh, like during warm up, you're hitting volleys and then you hit it over their head and they have to chase it off. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Yeah.

Speaker 4: 3:31

It's uncorporated Mini tennis.

Speaker 2: 3:33

Mini tennis In the double fault. I'm sorry, that's that comes out?

Speaker 1: 3:36

Oh, it does. I'm changing my serve from a flat serve to a some other kind of serve that I'm supposed to do You've been doing really good.

Speaker 1: 3:46

It's coming, yes, but it's really difficult and it leads to double faults and and that frustrates me and I try not to be frustrated on the court I try to be just calm and be like okay, here we go. But that does get different. The higher up, the more experienced you go, the more intense the players. I just think you all know more rules, you know more angles than maybe Devin me. We're still baby sharks, oh yeah, and that does change the game.

Speaker 3: 4:07

Well, when you play team tennis, fun is like going out and doing your best in whatever conditions, whether it's the opponent or the weather, or you got your period that day. What that episode is coming, yes, right. Then you just think, okay, I'm, I did my, I played my best under all these circumstances. Right, it's not whether everybody's happy with each other, because that's not necessarily going to happen in competitive tennis all the time.

Speaker 1: 4:32

And it's probably not supposed to. Maybe I'm a little bit of a Pollyanna. I've been like, oh, I put everyone to just be so happy. But that really is on the point of this sport, because are you going to work really, really hard? If it doesn't grow in tennis, you have to work hard at it.

Speaker 4: 4:44

The good sportsmanship comes at the end of the game. Right, you have to take the end of the match. When you can honestly thank the other person for a good match, Right. And even though it was very competitive, you know when you play it against each other. When you see these professionals, you know, and they're just Breaking their rackets Exactly. That to me is just, you know, uncalled for.

Speaker 1: 5:06

I agree, yeah, and I don't. I don't really think that's necessarily a great role model idea, maybe what? What are they demonstrating when? Who has her name? Irina, who have one of them, who got out there, a female who broke her racket and then went back and broke another one? I thought, what? What message are you communicating to the world? What is she saying non verbally? She's saying she had a bad day.

Speaker 3: 5:27

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4: 5:29

It doesn't make the other opponent feel any better either. You know, I mean, it makes for good highlight reels at six on tenniscom.

Speaker 1: 5:36

But, but you know, Jules, it makes. It brings to mind something you had mentioned before that, because I didn't play tennis before the COVID that prior to all the pandemic rules on the shutdowns, everywhere, at the end of a match you would shake hands with the team that you played and during COVID everyone started tapping rackets. Well I, I just didn't know, you didn't always tap rackets yesterday or the day before after our match. It was I think it was Brenda that we're playing with and she shook hands. We went, I went to tap my racket and she stopped and stuck her hand out and I'm thinking, okay, I like it.

Speaker 3: 6:05

I'm trying to do away with the racket top every time I play now. And this was funny, the other night it happened and someone's like oh no, I can't shake your hand, covid's going around again. I was like, really I'm not gonna say names, but I went and touched her arm.

Speaker 2: 6:20

Oh, personal space in Beijing.

Speaker 3: 6:24

Because I thought it was so funny. Well, you know, I'm not about germ theory anyway, but I just thought it was hysterical, cause now I'm telling everyone they're going to tap the racket and I'm saying nope.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Oh see, but that. But it is how it begins and it was the. I wanted to point it out to you because it was the first time and I noticed I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed out that's the way things used to be. What about the knuckles?

Speaker 3: 6:47

Yeah, that's fine, I mean. So your heart meridian extends out through your hand. So the handshake in our culture does actually have sort of an ancient purpose right.

Speaker 1: 6:57

So you're like I'm looking at my heart, your heart.

Speaker 3: 7:00

I like that.

Speaker 1: 7:01

Shake your hand. I'm checking my heart meridian. Everyone. We're shaking hands at the table. Jules, give me a good shake.

Speaker 2: 7:06

Oh yeah there it is, there it is. I felt my heart growing.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Generally, I think if someone's just played this high level competitive tennis, they're probably in pretty good shape and health, but there are people who do make a decision.

Speaker 3: 7:18

that's separate Well it's hard to break a habit honestly when it becomes a custom and then to go back, and also it's hard to break out of fear.

Speaker 1: 7:27

Well, fear probably overrides custom. I would say fear is the stronger of the two, unfortunately, or fortunately, even if it's a dinosaur charging at you run. But the question of germs is very interesting. But we touch each other's balls the whole game, all game. You know, women pull balls out of their skirts and say you need another one.

Speaker 1: 7:44

And we're like sure, oh, it's a warm and fuzzy thing. Yeah, men obviously invented this game because it's all about women sticking stuff up their skirts, which cracks me up a lot. So I wanted to share a little poem. Dina went through a phase of putting a face. I'm still in the phase Poems, asking chat GPT to write some tennis poems, which is pretty hilarious. I like that.

Speaker 2: 8:09

It is hilarious.

Speaker 1: 8:10

So here is I'm going to read to you it's Dina's chat GPT tennis poem number one to be found on addirtytennispodcast on instagramcom. Here it is. I'm going to read it with emotion. On the court we dance and play with rackets in hand, we seize the day, the ball in flight, a graceful art in tennis. We find joy in every part.

Speaker 4: 8:32

Chat, gpt ladies and gentlemen, I love every knife. I love it.

Speaker 1: 8:35

Only Dina would think. Let me see what chat GPT has to say about tennis poems.

Speaker 3: 8:39

Does chat GPT have a heart?

Speaker 1: 8:41

Meridian Not yet.

Speaker 2: 8:44

I don't know Is something for certain things I like it. It's just funny. I thought it was cute. That was a funny little poem.

Speaker 1: 8:50

Watch out, hallmark I know, oh, I wonder if Hallmark now is firing all their greeting card writers and chat GPTing it.

Speaker 2: 9:00

I had it write an homage poem for Ashley's service to the tennis league. Oh yeah, I lost it, but it was good.

Speaker 1: 9:08

It was quite lengthy. That was a very nice idea. I still am not sure what chat GPT. I can't even say it. Look at me, I'm tripping over trying to say chat GPT it's a dumb name. Came up with that. I think basements flashed a mind, but maybe somebody is electronically driven. It is interesting culturally. Can you imagine if as teenagers we had all been at home on our gameboys, talking to each other through a headset? We never saw each other's faces or expressions, we never were outside in nature and somebody falls and cuts their knee? Whatever happens, I have to go to the closest house and cry. I don't understand what the result would be of that type of culture. I can't even imagine it. And yet if that's what you know growing up, how do you break out of it and get out on the tennis court or the pickleball court?

Speaker 3: 9:51

Maybe that's the best thing about pickleball court Unlikely that those guys are going to shake hands.

Speaker 1: 9:58

They might through their. That's actually an interesting question. Do they shake hands through their gameboys? Virtually Right, Probably we're going to have to find someone who plays video games. They have those avatars.

Speaker 4: 10:08

That's a big thing. My daughter had this beautiful avatar of herself and she had a few. You send it to somebody and they make it of you and you tell them what warrior princesses and they take your face. I love it. And they go into the virtual settings and stuff like that with this picture of themselves. It's amazing.

Speaker 1: 10:27

I think we should do that just for fun and then put it on our Instagram page. Coming sometime in 2028.

Speaker 2: 10:35

The tennis of Tennis warrior, princesses, when we all go to play tennis through our online gaming community. I'm really good on that, with actually not needing strings like we, the we.

Speaker 4: 10:46

Oh, we tennis. I could probably be good at that too, yeah.

Speaker 3: 10:49

Easier to be good at that. Well, Deb, how did you start playing tennis?

Speaker 4: 10:54

It was actually me and Linda, who is in Sea Oaks also. Well, I had suggested I said you know what, we just paid a million something to do these courts here, redo them with the underground water and stuff. And I had never played tennis really ever and I was like you know what we're paying for this? We better, why not use the facilities? So luckily, me and her were able to start together and we would just hit back and forth. We were terrible, we couldn't even hit over the net and then we took lessons.

Speaker 4: 11:33

And then just like this was just a year and two years ago, maybe a year and a half ago, I mean, I'm not near as good. She's been doing really good.

Speaker 1: 11:41

Both of you. Yeah, Linda's doing really great. Deb, you can rally from the baseline.

Speaker 4: 11:44

Your ability to just hit baseline to baseline to baseline is amazing, and you're both so fast. Well, yeah, it's incredibly fast. The short to the ground test.

Speaker 1: 11:54

I think actually being that fast could be problematic because your timing you're getting there even before the ball does. Half the time, when you're reading where the ball's going and you're in motion, I'm always stretched out trying to get the ball.

Speaker 4: 12:06

Still have a lot to learn Backing up and watching the ball. There's still always a lot to learn when you're starting out and still all the time.

Speaker 3: 12:18

So you were driven to learn tennis to get more value out of what you were paying as a community to do the course I've never heard that before.

Speaker 4: 12:29

Yeah, I was like you know what? This is something that. And then it became a. I mean, I met so many great women. It was a social situation where it's like a camaraderie of women that come If you're sick or if you're my.

Speaker 1: 12:47

Chris, wonderful Chris.

Speaker 4: 12:50

My husband passed away in March and everybody came together and it was heartwarming to have the community so close. It's the best part of tennis. My condolences. So having friends that really are there for you in this community means a lot.

Speaker 1: 13:10

Absolutely. It's a wonderful community. You're a wonderful person. We're so glad you're a part of our tennis.

Speaker 4: 13:16

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 13:16

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 13:17

Altogether.

Speaker 1: 13:18

And you know gratitude.

Speaker 2: 13:19

a word about Chris, Dina, and Deb and I were on a boat Dressed up.

Speaker 1: 13:23

I'll dress up for a boat trip. We'll sight seeing. It was right around the beginning of summer. It was around the end of the time you could take like a sunset cruise, because the weather in Florida gets a little nutty in the evenings.

Speaker 2: 13:33

Again, it was beautiful.

Speaker 1: 13:34

Gorgeous.

Speaker 3: 13:35

Beautiful day Beautiful.

Speaker 1: 13:36

We're out on the boat. It's a pontoon boat. It held maybe 10 or 12 people and we get all the way up to Pelican Point, which is maybe 10 or 12 miles up. I don't know how far that is.

Speaker 4: 13:45

Captain Dave.

Speaker 1: 13:46

Right, right, captain. Dave saved our lives that day. Yes, and we got caught in a storm. It was very, very difficult and scary. Everyone on the boat stayed calm. The lightning was so bad it started a wildfire. We encountered hail while in a pontoon boat. Let me tell you, it's super fun.

Speaker 4: 14:03

Soaked. We were all soaked to the bone, absolutely soaked, soaked.

Speaker 1: 14:05

How long were we out there? An hour and a half, oh, at least, at least Just couldn't come in.

Speaker 4: 14:10

That was the issue, incredible. We were right in front of the marina and Captain Dave was trying to get in and the wind was just blowing us away. Yep, and you know, he tried like three times and then we had to kind of hover on the other side, away from the wind. Yep, and the lightning.

Speaker 1: 14:26

And the lightning, it was scary. It was scary, it was a lightning strikes and the waves were six feet on the river, which is apparently very unusual. But, deb, I think it was Chris. I think Chris was looking down from heaven and he was saying I got you yeah and he saved you, yeah. Now.

Speaker 4: 14:39

I'm going to get emotional.

Speaker 1: 14:40

He saved us too. He did yeah it was scary, it was.

Speaker 3: 14:44

Six foot waves On the river. On the river yeah, the wind. It was unbelievable. He was trying to get in.

Speaker 4: 14:49

You know, because we were under the bridge, yeah, Getting through the bridge, Obubai Wobasso, and he was trying to get there as quick.

Speaker 1: 14:55

You know how quick can a pontoon go Right, right and in that kind of way. Yeah.

Speaker 4: 14:59

And we saw these other boats trying to get in and he you know it was kind of like you know you're trying to weave in the gout of the waves that they were creating and still with the wind and he did a great job getting us back.

Speaker 1: 15:11

He did, he saved our lives, really he did.

Speaker 4: 15:13

And kept calm. You know we were with.

Speaker 1: 15:16

Can you imagine if he freaked out? By the way, the captain was like, oh no, yeah, he'd be like, ok, this is not good, got to get back. He said I was worried, deb. You were sitting in the back of the boat and the waves were so vicious I thought you were just going to pop out of the boat. I did, I was. I mean, that was more stressful for me than the 152 lightning strikes that hit around us. Yeah, absolute, true miracle. I think Chris just put his hand around us and protected us.

Speaker 4: 15:39

Yeah, wow, like Dina and I were cracking up in the beginning because we were just getting hit with the waves and soaked right to the bone.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Soaked to the bone, and then it got serious it did, and then it stayed serious for like an minute when the hail hit. I think that was the most unbelievable You're in a pontoon, there is nowhere to go 10 minutes of swirling hail. This leads to a really big topic and one that Jules has interesting perspective and her knowledge is so wonderfully deep and comprehensive about the human body, the mind and the spirit. And that's gratitude and the importance of gratitude. Maybe that was my ineffective way earlier in the conversation about saying I'm trying to stay calm on the court. Maybe that's my way of just being grateful that I'm out here, that I'm with people that I care about, that care about me. Most days the sun is shining, even if it was raining. We'd play if we could. We just usually can't but gratitude and the importance of getting off that boat and saying thank you and feeling that gratitude all the way through and remembering that state of grace, of gratitude how does that affect our body?

Speaker 3: 16:35

and our spirit. Yeah, that's a really good question, ashley, and I like how you also brought it to the court. Because if you think about when you play tight or you see pros and they play tight and you notice like you're out in a drill, you're just hitting through and everything's loose, right, because your nervous system is much calmer, you're closer to that parasympathetic state and when you can shift into that frequency we talked earlier about fear that's a very low vibrating frequency. That's so interesting, right, the neutral frequency is about 200 at courage, and then as you go up you're getting into these higher frequencies that make us feel good, and gratitude is one of those, right. So gratitude helps rewire your brain, it calms your nervous system, it brings you that.

Speaker 3: 17:20

I would say that I don't need anything, I'm just happy. I'm here, I'm anchored into the present moment, because the present moment is the only time you can really be happy or content, because in the past it's sort of a depressive thinking. I'm ruminating about something I can't change In the future. It's the anxious thinking oh, what if? What if? Oh no, I'm worrying, worrying, worrying. We spend a lot of time on that as women. I'm just going to say we talked about worrying once how that in your vocabulary is sort of a useless word because it's a vicious cycle that you can't get out of. How do you help somebody? Not worry, right. But you could shift it to I'm concerned, oh, you're concerned about your mother. Well, what could you do to help your mother?

Speaker 2: 18:05

Right.

Speaker 3: 18:05

And then you can kind of exit that loop.

Speaker 1: 18:08

Feel like you have an action or some positive step forward. So basically, you're saying in the dating world, instead of being like hey, baby, what's your sign, I should be like hey, baby, what's your frequency? Hey, hey, good looking. And you know what's going to happen. The one that I'm not at all attracted to is going to have, like the, raging high frequency and, based on my dating history, the ones that I am attracted to have the, the, they don't even register, like no blip.

Speaker 3: 18:33

So what are you?

Speaker 2: 18:33

attracting. Oh, oh no.

Speaker 4: 18:35

Then that's an opportunity to work on yourself right, we don't need all these external things.

Speaker 3: 18:41

And people ask me about supplements and all that stuff, but I'm like there's a lot of work to do before you get to the supplements table.

Speaker 1: 18:48

Is there a frequency supplement? Do I plug myself into something? How do I do?

Speaker 3: 18:52

that they have frequency devices for sure.

Speaker 1: 18:55

I think I've heard of those and they do come under another name?

Speaker 2: 18:58

I'm not sure I what. I'm a dirty tennis device.

Speaker 1: 19:03

What kind of device? They come and imagine it Covered box with no labels.

Speaker 4: 19:09

Can you imagine that's?

Speaker 1: 19:12

pretty funny. Oh man, yeah, dirty tennis. Clean Living, the podcast. That's us. Deb, thank you for being here today. You're a wonderful human. We like to call her Falcone, so if you hear us reference Falcone now, you know who it is.

Speaker 4: 19:26

Go ahead, thank you, go ahead, there, you go.

Speaker 1: 19:29

It's your turn, your turn. Thanks for joining us today on Dirty Tennis, clean Living the podcast. Follow us on Instagram at dirty tennis podcast and on ex formerly Twitter at dirty tennis show. Subscribe participated polls. Reach out to us on social media with your favorite dirty tennis topics. Your input matters. We want to hear from you. Until next time, keep your tennis dirty and your living clean. Well, maybe not too clean.