The Ultimate Sexual Experience: Sex as a Portal to Higher Consciousness

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Transcript

Welcome, welcome to the so hard podcast. I am Justina Victoria. I'm a psychosexual expert for men and couples. And today we are going to be talking about sex and spirituality. Can sex be a portal to higher consciousness? So to answer this question, we're going to need to have a foundation of understanding. um Some men listening to this are going to have an understanding of meditation, and the science behind that. And some guys who are listening to this have never meditated, have no inkling about this realm at all. And so we have to have some understanding of consciousness, right? Higher consciousness and tapping into that in order for this conversation to be to make sense and to be impactful in some way. So let's begin there. Let's talk about what is consciousness? How do we tap into a higher consciousness? And it always comes back to my favorite topic that you hear me speak about in pretty much every episode, which is the nervous system. So when the body is producing stress hormones. and stress hormones come in millions of different cocktails. You know, when we think about stress, it's not just like, there's stress hormone. There's one stress hormone that's being pumped cortisol, adrenaline. We talk about those a lot when we talk about the stress response. But there's many, many, many different types of stress hormones and there's many different cocktails and combinations of stress hormones. And so and the reason for that is because we need to be able to decipher what need is going unmet, right? So if a lion is chasing you, right, we need to feel a certain type of fear that mobilizes energy in our body and makes us run or fight, right? um if somebody we love is getting ready to pass on, um, then we're going to have a totally different chemical cocktail that is going to immobilize energy and it's going to communicate grief, sadness, loss, heartbreak to us, right? We're going to understand what the message is coming through. When we're hungry, that's a stress response. When we're thirsty, that's a stress response. When we're cold, when we're hot, that's a stress response, right? And so we need these different chemical compounds in order to be able to differentiate between being hungry and being cold, being thirsty or being in pain, right? Like touching a hot stove or whatever it is. Like we we can't differentiate if it was all one stress response if it was all cortisol and all adrenaline, we wouldn't be able to understand what the body is trying to communicate to us. So, when we go into the stress response, the stress response is every feeling you have ever had that does not feel good, and it ranges, you know, a huge range from being a bit like irritable all the way up to like a blind rage, right? And everything in between, we've got shame, we've got guilt, we've got fear, we've got anger, we've got shyness, we've got, oh, on and on and on, okay. um, and so this is what we classify as disregulation. So dregulation is just a fancy word of saying the body is producing some cocktail of stress hormones, no matter how subtle it might be. when this happens our brain function is altered and the magnetic field that we produce shapes comes very close to the body. And so when we go into regulation where the body is not producing any stress hormones because the nervous system and brain have detected that you are safe from danger and that all of your needs are getting mad. full brain function comes online. We're creative, we're inventive, we're imaginative, we're present, we're in the moment, we're experiential, and our magnetic field that we produce expands, and it can actually expand up to ten feet around us, which is pretty amazing. And if you've heard some of my other episodes, you'll know that magnetic fields send and receive information. They carry information they're encoded with information, but they can also receive and and download information. So this is one of the reasons why we have, you know, intuition or why we can get a gut feeling about people when we first meet them, that sort of first impression, things like that is we're we're receiving information from the field around us. And this is not woo- woo, whatever, this is science. This has been proven time and time again, that this is what we produce as human beings. I mean, the earth has a magnetic field. Everything has a magnetic field, right? The eggs in your refrigerator have a magnetic field, like and magnetic fields are, you know, there' fields of information. So anyway, coming back to stress response disregulation versus regulation. Okay? um when we're talking about consciousness, meditation, um turning the stress response off and going into literally a higher level of conscious awareness. We shift terms from regulating and dysregulating to coherent versus incoherent, is now we're talking about the quality of energy that we are sending and receiving. So in coherence means is the energy that we are producing or or even receiving, is in a state of chaos. It's not there's not a um harmonious message within encoded within that energy. There's not a you know what one way I like to compare it is the difference between static on a TV like when you're in between channels and it's just like right. There's no clear message coming through that. There's no clear pattern. There's no harmony. There's no making sense of that static. versus coherence, which is essentially like a beautiful orchestra, playing together, right, producing a melody. Every note is in tune with the next. There is a pattern. There is information encoded within that. And so that is the difference between coherence versus incoherence, and when we are producing, when we come out of the stress response, we go into coherence. When we're in the stress response, we are incoherent. Literally there is a chaos that's happening within our body. Our cells are not speaking to each other in an optimal way our organs, our brain, our nervicism, everything when we go into the stress response becomes incoherent. So coherence, then? is when we are regulated, we move out of the stress response. There is a harmony within all of the systems of our body, but also the energy that we are producing. Now, when we learn to tap into that, pay attention to it, develop it, focus on it, which a lot of people do through meditation, we can actually become more and more coherent, so the energy that we are producing in our bodies becomes highly organized, highly, highly harmonious. And that has a phenomenal effect on our physiology, which is why a lot of people use meditation to heal. um part of it is that, you know, it's it's dependent on the brain wave state. So when we go into the stress response, we're in what's called a beta brain wave state, high beta brain wave state, very incoherent brain wave state within the nervous system. Same thing is actually happening in the heart, so the way that the heart is beating the waves that the heart is producing are very erratic, very incoherent. okay? And on top of that brain and heart waves are totally absync and they're incoherent with one another. When we move into coherence, we we shift out ofa beta brain wave and we move into alpha, which is sort of like awake, alert, and creative. imaginative worth thinking in pictures. We're not really thinking in thoughts or, you know, we're in beta, there's a lot of like thinking, overthinking, problem solving, um intrusive thoughts. And when we shift into alpha, we're not really like thinking, we're seeing seeing more in pictures, we're more embodied, we're present, we're enjoying. It's kind of like that feeling when you get lost in like a hobby or something some day that you're just having like is a wonderful day and you're just there, you're not you're not thinking about things. You're just experiencing. When we go when we shift into meditation, we get good at that where we can calm the stress response and become very, very coherent. What happens is we move from alpha to theta. So theta is the brain wave state that we're in from typically from zero to seven as children. This is the state where we're just receiving information and we have no critical filter. And we wouldn't any way as children because we don't have anything to compare the world to. We don't know what's right or wrong or truth or lies or, you know, it's like whatever is happening in our environment, we're absorbing. So as children were in theta brain wave state and we are absorbing information. So the same thing happens when we go into meditation, we stop thinking. We go into theta and we're not critically analyzing anything. We're just conscious awareness. That's it. We just know that we are conscious, but we're not thinking about anything. We're not really experiencing anything. We're just sitting in nothing. essentially and being aware that we are sitting in nothing, but not having any thoughts. um Now we can go into Delta, uh which can be a deeper meditative state as long as you don't fall asleep because Delta is typically sleeping. um, but you can be still in meditation and in delta if you um can sit up and stay awake. And if you get really good over years of learning to meditate, then you can go into a gamma brain wave state. and the gamma brain wave state is actually the highest frequency. It's very, very fast. It's a lot of energy. It's extremely powerful, and it is an activation of your sympathetic pathway, the pathway that we typically use for fighter flight, but it is actually an activation of ecstasy. So you'll have these moments where you literally feel like you are touching universal, divine love. And it is, and I've had these experiences, actually, and it is just it is just beyond words. It is it is it's beyond words, really. It's so much love, it is it is so much ecstasy. and not ecstasy in the sense of like ooh, yeah, I feel so filled with pleasure. ah, it's like your heart has exploded. like nuclear level of love explosion in your heart in your body. And that is the highest level of coherence that you can go. I mean, it is like you body is stinging at the most highest, loudest, most beautiful harmonic melody that you can possibly vibrate at. and it takes time to get there it takes time to to learn how to do this. um but it is it's amazing when you get there it's amazing. So these are the different brainwave states and these are dependent on the level of coherence that we are in. So coherence and coherence, regulation versus dysregulation, very, very similar um ideas, okay? Now, let's compare this to sexual experiences, okay? If you are having performance anxiety or rectile dysfunction, we know that you are in dysregulation. We know that your either sympathetic or dorsal systems, our survival systems are online. those are rerouting blood flow away from your reproductive organs, and they are changing the function of your brain. In those states we're going to well, in sympathetic predominantly we're going to be thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, we're going to be in high beta, we're going to be thinking, overthinking, analyzing, problem solving, we're going to have a lot of intrusive thoughts. Am I going to be able to do this? Am I performing well? Is she going to be disappointed at me? Am I going to be a laughing stock after this? blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah that's what the brain does. d d d d d when we're in high beta. Okay. So that experience of sex is we're not present, we're not in the body. We're experiencing very little pleasure, hyperfocused on the threat, hyperfocused on our partner and what they're experiencing and whether or not we're getting it right. It's very mechanical. It's very clunky, it's very awkward. Hey? Now, uh, when we go into a sexual experience and we're readyulated, body isn't producing any stress hormones, right? We're going to be experiencing sex from an alpha brain wave state, right? Awake, alert, creative and relaxed. Okay? So we go into the sexual experience and blood flow is optimal in the body, no problem with arections, um no problem with intrusive thoughts and thinking about what should I be doing? And is this good for her and d d you're in your body, you're experiencing pleasure, you're focused on that pleasure. You're not you're totally immersed. You're not thinking about anything. You're just experiencing. And it's it's nice. It's wonderful. It feels good, right? Now we go to another level where we get really regulated or we even have a meditative practice and this is some of the stuff that you can learn some of the experiences of tonric sex that you can learn where, you know, you can sit facing your partner or back to back and what you're doing is going into more of a theta brain wave state where you're you're really going into nothing, you're harmonizing the energy in your body. You're sinking your brain in heart waves, you're creating coherence in your body and you're shifting into that state of brain wave state along with your partner and then you can actually sink your brain in heart waves to their brain in heart waves, which is really, really, really cool. So you can breathe at the same, you know, rate together. You can do a bit of eye gazing. all of this stuff just takes the brain deeper, right? So we go, the brain waves slow down more. Beta brain waves are very fast, alpha is slower, the is even slower, delta is even slower, and so we're slowing everything down, and as we're getting deeper into a coherent state within our bodies, our brains and hearts are sinking up, we're now also bonding and sinking up to our partner, and we're both going into that meditative place, that coherent place together at the same time. Then we have sex, and this is where we experience ecstasy. This is where we experience full body orgasms. This is where we experience like deep connection to our partner where we feel like we're literally one person, like our souls are merging. This is where we can even feel like we're touching god in sex. And I want to actually pause here for a second and just say, you know, just add a little side note on that. A lot of the times when I say that, people are kind of like, ooh, because most people are conditioned, you know, by religion to believe that God and sex are um are uh, what's the word I'm looking for? They are uh opposites, they're opposing, right? They're repellents for one another. Sex and God don't belong in the same thing. Oh my God, Jesus is watching me masturbate. I'm going to hell, all this crazy stuff. And the fact of the matter is, is that sex is one of, if not the most, profoundly regulating activity that we can do to pull us out of the stress response back into our bodies, back into harmony, back into coherence into safety. and togetherness and love, and what is more godlike than that? So in sex, right? sex is a spiritual thing if you allow it to be if you if you release the conditioning and you start to actually just experience sex for what it is, which is is it's divine. It's it's enlightenment. It's this beauty, it's love, its connection, it's everything that we think about on our deathbeds. right? It is the most important, most vital, most life-giving, most just fulfilling parts of of life is what it gives us is the button it presses, right? So we go into these deeper higher states of consciousness during sex. And I'm not talking about popping a pill or smoking weed or doing MDMA before you have sex. I'm talking about developing this skill of creating coherence in your own body, stinking that with another person and then going into a sexual experience from there. So we experience divinity, we experience ecstasy, we experience full body orgasms, we experience heightened, heightened, heightened pleasure. um trance like state, feeling like you're melting in and becoming one with another person, which is also an experience we have a lot in meditation. The the sort of veil thins and we can see that everything that has ever existed is one thing we're all one we're all connected, right? And that's what's happening when we're having a sexual experience like this. We're touching God, we're feeling whole, we're feeling filled up with elevated emotion and connection, and it is this energy is having immense, immense impact on your nervous system, on your brain function, on all the systems in your body, your health, your digestion, your immune function, I mean massive impacts, positive impacts on your uh physiology and biology. So this is what spiritual sexuality is, right? It's all, you know, and spirituality is kind of a loaded word, but all we're doing is bringing our focus to consciousness, right? Like we're just being present. We're just being conscious. We're just bringing our full self to the table with our partner and connecting. And so, you know, it's like a lot of the times we see that as spiritual when we bring our whole self to something, when we are when we are we are connecting to our full awareness, our full consciousness, we see that as spiritual or enlightening but that is just our natural being, right? That is what we are we are consciousness and we are inhabiting a human body. um So how can men experience deeper intimacy through sex, right? With with higher consciousness or spiritual sexuality? Like, is this something that can help men experience deeper intimacy through sex? Yes, oh my God, yes, because when most guys are walking around complete stress balls, they're they're working their asses off. They're providing for their families. They have all kinds of different stressors and they endure that on a day and day out basis. And if you're living in a state where your body's producing stress hormones all day, every day, regardless of what cocktail is being produced, um your social engagement system is offline. So social engagement system is a branch of our our Vegas nerve that we call the ventral Vegas. And this is the piece of our nervous system that allows us to connect literally feel like we can connect to other people, to feel elevated emotion to be able to open up to have vonnerability to be intimate, literally intimate, whether it's emotionally or physically with another human being. And so when the body is producing st stress hormones, that branch of our biggest nerve goes offline and our ability to connect is highly diminished. So when we learn to practice um connecting to higher consciousness, to creating coherence, to then doing that with our partner, oh my God. like deeper intimacy is just not just that doesn't even scratch the surface, deeper intimate. It's it's like, no, like we're talking about worlds apart completely different planets when it comes to the experience of intimacy and fulfillment. um how can men reframe sex as a spiritual practice instead of just a physical act? Oh, such a good question. Yeah. So again, if we if we link this to consciousness, right? If we're in the stress response and we're using sex or masturbation is a way to sort of uh cope with the stress, That's like the most lowest level that we can be right? Other than uh having some uh association to sex that's very like dark. um, obviously that would be at the lowest level, but but just above that, right we have it as it is very like we see it as very physical. We're very detached from our bodies, our feelings, our feelings of pleasure. We're staring at a screen while we're jerking off. we're of our head fantasizing about something. This is really, like and I've talked about this for a long time. If you think of sex on a scale of like one, two infinity, most guys are experiencing sex at one. Like that's it. And like that's so sad. Like there's so there's infinite infinite pleasurable experiences to be had. And so we're at level one where there's this sort of disconnected physicality. It's like you're there you're disembodied and you're just jerking off to get the release and then feel a bunch of shame and guilt afterwards and move on with your day. and so reframing sex is a spiritual practice instead of a physical act like we don't even have to go that far to be honest to go like, okay, I'm going from physical to spiritual. Like we can move up that ladder and say, um, yeah, we can stay in the realm of physical. but how can I get more regulated so that I can be more present and start to experience more pleasure, harder erections, lasting longer, stronger libido, like we can start there. And once we mastered that, which is what I do with my clients, right, then we can move on to okay, um, what's a higher level of regulation? Now that I've now that I've angered in safety and regulation into my nervous system, which I that was not familiar to me previously. now can I learn how to uh, you know, go into a higher level of consciousness? Can I create more coherence in my body? Can I sit and meditate? Can I learn how to change my brain mape state on command? Okay, cool. Let's try that, right? Now let's blend that practice with masturbation, which is what we call orgasmic meditation. And we go from there, okay. I'm going to be, I'm going to bring all of my conscious awareness to the sensations that I'm feeling during masturbation. I'm not even going to I'm not even going to watch porn. I'm not going to fantasize. I'm literally going to get in my body. I'm going to bring all of my consciousness, all of my focus, all of my attention to pleasure. and I'm gonna keep doing that over and over every time I lose focus, I'm gonna keep coming back. I'm going to keep coming back. I'm going to keep coming back. I'm going to deepen my breathing. I'm going to relax every muscle in my body and I'm going to start to feel that my breath, that relaxing my muscles is actually orgasmic while I'm doing this and I'm going to blend these things together and I'm going to then I'm going to do this and I'm going to start to feel into energy. I'm going to feel into energy building in my body and and I'm going to manipulate that energy and I'm going to play with that energy and I'm going to, you know, feel into that energy, et cetera. Right? Then we start to bring that into sex. We start to have different practices in sex with our partner and having these new experiences. When people come to me and they say like, oh, yeah, I really want to have new experiences in sex. And they're typically talking about like butt plugs and like vibrators. And I'm just like, that is so to me, like knowing what I know and having the experiences I've had of ecstasy in meditation, like I'm just kind of like, well, like that's level one still like that's cool and all and like you can absolutely do that but like that's so that's just on the most lamest level of sex that you can experience and people are trying the problem is is that people what they're doing is they're associating sex with like dopamine, right? So they're trying harder and harder to have like novel experiences that will cause their brain to dump a ton of dopamine out. and then they can have this like sexual experience that was like more intense. But the problem with that is that when we deplete dopamine, we feel like shit for days afterwards. So we don't really want to go down that road of like more and more and more and more novelty. What we want is to be able to have the simplest experience of sex and have it be extstatic. and that fills our cup, that actually fills our brain with neurochemmicals and not depletes our brains and guts, because we have a lot of neurochemicals that are producing in the gut, we don'tete our stores of neurochemicals. In fact, we actually add to them when we do this. So um so it doesn't have to be, you know, that men are reframing sex as a sexual practice. You can. But it's a ladder. Like we have to start where we are and we have to kind of go to the next rung and then the next rung in the the next rung. And like I said, a lot of guys see those rungs as like, oh, I'm moving up the ladder because like, oh, I had some kinky thing or like, oh, my partner said okay to like having a threesome like that isn't really moving up the rungs of the ladder. That's really staying in that first realm of physicality where like we're just dumping more and more dopamine, but we're not actually becoming more fulfilled necessarily and and it's like, would you rather have an experience where you have to have more and more intensity, more and more novelty to reach like higher levels of stimulation? Or would you actually prefer the opposite where, you know, your partner can give you a couple kisses on your neck and you go into ecstasy. And I don't mean like jizzing all over the place and not being able to maintain, you know, uh being able to last long or something like that. That's irrelevant. That's not that's not what we're talking about here. I'm talking about having such a heightened experience of sensuality that the smallest things actually make you feel unbelievable. So I hope this was interesting. This is something that I love talking about. I find it to be unbelievably interesting and exciting and and and fun. And I hope that you, you know, I hope you learn something. I hope it gives you a new perspective. And if you want to hear more things like this, um you can send a text to um the link in my description here in the bio of this podcast and let me know like hey, I want to hear more about this kind of stuff. This is interesting to me or if you have any other suggestions that you want to hear about, please feel free. Again, if you are new to me, I'm a psychosexual expert for men and couples. So I work one on-one with clients. I also have programs like my erect program that cures erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. You can get in touch with me at the links below, shoot me an email for a consultation, and I will see you guys in the next one.