EPISODE 117: LJ

"Things started to get hard...when I realized there were beauty standards," LJ told Renée. LJ was adopted from South Korea by when she was 6 months old. Growing up in Vermont, she found herself paradoxically situated between the progressive political spirit of the Northeast and its pervasive, problematic whiteness. LJ is a mental health counselor and smart as a whip, so she is able to explain beautifully the complicated intersections of her racial and sexual identity development. As she does, she and Renée discuss everything from fetishization to white fragility to how the state of Vermont is "inherently queer." LJ makes so many fascinating points that Renée almost forgets she is supposed to help her! Specifically, LJ came to the show wondering how to assert herself in conversations with invalidating friends and family; she is struggling to break the codependent pattern of worrying more about the other person's comfort than she does about herself. There are a lot of layers for Renée to cut through on the way to LJ's answer, and cut through them she does! The path is a little more abstract and nuanced than usual, which gets Renée even more excited than usual, leading to an ending that is just as exciting as usual. This one is heady in the best possible way.