Self-Awareness in Business: The Hidden Skill That Improves Decision-Making and Trust | EP 16

Have you ever had one of those days where something small sets the tone, your tech isn’t cooperating, you're behind schedule, and suddenly a simple question from someone feels heavier than it should? That’s exactly how we kicked off this episode. But instead of brushing it off, we leaned into the moment. Because if we’re honest, those little flashes of irritation or overwhelm often reveal something deeper: sometimes we are the ones creating the friction in our own business without realizing it.

We unpack how self-awareness quietly shapes the way we lead, communicate, and run our day-to-day operations. We talk about those unexpected emotional reactions—tightening up when a client emails, feeling bothered by a teammate’s question, or reading tone into a message that wasn’t there. 

Together, we explore why these patterns show up, how they impact our relationships and results, and why developing self-awareness doesn’t require a personality overhaul, just small, intentional shifts. By understanding how we operate internally, we get to build businesses that feel lighter, smoother, and more aligned with who we want to be as leaders.

What to Listen for in This Episode

Self-awareness as a foundational leadership skill: How understanding our own patterns, energy levels, and triggers helps us lead with more clarity and confidence.

The ripple effects of our reactions: Why tone, tension, and miscommunication happen, and how they affect our clients, teams, and business growth more than we realize.

Simple shifts to become more grounded leaders: Practical ways we can pause, reflect, ask for feedback, and create open communication that strengthens trust and relationships.

A question for to reflect on:

Where is a lack of self-awareness creating friction in your business right now and what reaction do we keep having that we haven’t taken the time to explore?

Let’s sit with that one together. Our next level of leadership might start right there.

Transcript

You're listening to Entrepreneur Encounter, the podcast where soft skills meet real talk for creative business owners who are building with purpose. I'm Dana, a Pinterest marketing strategist and agency owner helping wedding pros and creative entrepreneurs get seen without burning out.

And I'm Sara, a business and team strategist who helps small teams and podcasters communicate clearly, lead with empathy and grow sustainably. Together, we're unpacking the messy, meaningful side of entrepreneurship from boundaries to burnout, leadership to listening, so you can build a business that actually fits your life.


Why is it that sometimes you feel like you're the biggest obstacle in your own business? mean, you're talented, you're driven, you care about your work, and yet there's certain situations that still hit you hard, like harder than they should. And because you're overthinking, you're being your own obstacle in your business.

when a team member, if you're lucky enough to have them, or maybe a coworker if you're in a professional setting, asks you a simple question and suddenly you feel irritated, or sometimes in my case, a client emails you and your whole chest tightens for no logical reason, and then you start wondering, like, why did I react this way?

funny enough, I actually had a call with a potential customer today. And I had to like pause for a moment, you know, because they were asking questions. And when we think about asking questions, right, people will assume certain things you assume they should know x, y, and z, but they don't. So I was at this point where I want to just react. But I knew that if I if I was short, had an attitude, things probably wouldn't be as

great. So reacting, you have to kind of step back and not react to certain situations, especially like if you're feeling irritated, you got to be self aware of who you're talking to and how you react to certain things.

Absolutely, because that tension, doesn't mean you're bad at business. It's just a skill that honestly, don't think too many of us even think about, let alone that we've been taught because self-awareness, like simply put, is your own patterns, triggers, strengths, or blind spots and understanding how this impacts the people around you.


So you don't have to have enough strategy, discipline or systems. You just need to understand how you operate internally and how that affects the people around you. And you can do that without making everything feel heavier or taking everything so personal that it needs to be.

Exactly. And I just wanted to bring up something too, because like being self-aware, you know, I don't know if it has to do with becoming older or the generation that we're in or whatever it is. But I think like after building a family, growing a family, becoming older and becoming more in tuned with like my emotions. I mean, I used to like react to things when I shouldn't even have to react to things. It wouldn't make no sense because

I was irritated or somebody is getting on my nerves, they're again, like you have to, it's like, you got, know, self-awareness does take time. Yes, you could be having a bad day and all you want to do is be by yourself, but you have to, it's business. Like it's time to have that discipline and like focus on your work. And then somebody asks you a question, you're like, no, not again. Like, why is this question coming up again?

But you know, when you recognize, like you said, like those patterns, like, okay, why am I irritated in this situation? Did I not get enough sleep? Am I not eating enough fruits and vegetables to help me, you know, be healthy? You know, like my go-to is tomatoes. I know that sounds like super weird. You know, but honestly, like, you know, you got to figure out what that is so that those triggers can be less, less so that you're able to react to a situation without the tension.

Er...

so it's not so heavy.

Too often I've seen personally and professionally where someone I know it like just keeps snapping at the people around him. My kids are like that sometimes and like during just like regular old like an everyday life we're just interacting in the living room and their tone just comes out super harsh and it's not because they're just you know a jerk.

for being a jerk, they're overwhelmed by something. Like every behavior is a need. And most of the time, because we aren't taught how to be self-aware, we don't know what those needs are. So we just kind of snap, but we don't know why we're snapping. And so that's where it's important to figure out, like, to realize how your stress in these situations is coming out and being aware of the tone. Because a lot of times,

Like I don't mind kids. It's not what you're saying is 100 % how you are saying it to me right now that has me like, my mom ears tingling. And it's like that with clients, like, why are you snapping at me? Why is your email so short? Like what's happening under the surface? So with clients, I will get to the point, like I'll let you snap a little bit because I can, I have learned it's usually not me. It's something else is going on.

Let's figure out what it is. So eventually I will say, I can tell you're upset with something. I don't know if it's me and the work that I'm doing, or if you are just stressed, but I am here to help you. And I would love to support in whatever it is that you're doing. has, even if it has nothing to do with Pinterest marketing or content marketing that I help you with. And typically how works out is from their perspective, they feel totally fine. They just feel busy and you don't realize that.


your team or your partners or your community are experiencing something completely different. And that's where the power of self-awareness comes in. When you don't know how you're showing up, you accidentally will be sending the wrong message and it could be doing long-term damage to your business, whether that's through revenue, through referrals, through anything.

Yeah, no, for sure. And I think this is why I've learned to not read so much into emails or texts because sometimes you can't really read the tone. I mean, sure, guess, depending on what the words are. But this is why I like to have conversations over the phone or face to face, having those conversations to kind of like, what's going on? I've been told that I've been

home to people storms before and I'm like, that makes me feel good. You know, like, I'm not looking for validation, but knowing the fact that like, I can just listen to somebody and just kind of like let them vent and let them get whatever's, you know, on their chest off and just know that these people are human. Everybody's going to have bad days. We all have those bad days.

And I've seen this happen to where people are like, I don't want to work with this client anymore because they have a bad attitude. Like how often do they really have that bad attitude or, know, have you sat down and had a conversation with them? I mean, I can understand maybe if they have a bad attitude, literally 24 seven with you, that's a different story because that's just another can of worms that you don't want to be involved in.

Some red flags to find during your discovery call or something.


Yeah, I mean, if they're short during a discovery call and be like, okay, wait a minute, is this, you know, now you start to question like, are you like this all the time? Or another example is if that you're wanting to hire somebody for your team, you know, when you are in that interview process, like, be self aware of like how you communicate with them and how you ask questions, because that is setting the tone again for your for your business for the culture in your business as well because

I've been in interviews or I've had conversations with people in the past and like, this is going to be a great place to work at. And then it's not because now like things come out of the woodworks, like, this is not how it was in interview, you know, but I think we all have to kind of step back and have those conversations.

And the good news is, being more self-aware doesn't require a personality overhaul. I know that makes me feel better. It's small, simple shifts that are gonna make a huge difference in the way that you show who you are and how people experience anything with you. So I always start noticing the reactions. When your body tightens or your energy drops, take a moment to pause and really, what just happened? Am I hungry?

Do I need a snack? Is that why my energy drops or is this a task that no longer lights me up and I need to outsource it? Are you tightening up because it's conversations that you're not comfortable with or you don't know how to explain? Are you not confident in the services that you provide? So then you tighten up when someone asks you a question, like give yourself time to pause and really figure out the route to the best of your ability. And if you can't,

find someone, a safe friend, coworker, and like try to, I call it word vomiting, but just let it flow to them and they have that fresh outside perspective and they might be able to help you see something that you can't see.


You know, I used to get upset when people said things because I wasn't self aware. Like I wasn't aware of my emotions. I just took everything at face value. Like you're saying this. So I'm going to get upset because I find it to be very rude. But I think that was probably me in like my early 20s. Right. Like finding myself and becoming who I am and all that stuff. But now, like, I want to dig deeper. Like, yes, I want feedback. So what can I do better at this? Like, I want to know.

Because if I don't know how am I gonna get better? You're not overhauling your whole entire being. Like I want to be aware of what I'm doing and sometimes we're not. I wanna grow. I wanna be a better version of myself tomorrow. And I think that's a great goal to have for anybody. And realizing like, okay, these are my triggers. Like maybe I need to sleep an extra hour or whatever it is. Like you have to take back that control and know that

If you are talking to somebody that's in your safe space, know that they're there to support you. Like if I talk to you Dana and like I had a conversation with you, like I feel comfortable enough to come to you and have these conversations. Like, tell me what's wrong. What am I doing wrong? Like I don't understand. Again, before I would have like, I don't want to hear what you have to say because I'm me and this is who I am. So I don't think I need a change. And there's this one time when someone said that I crossed my arms too much and I was intimidating.

And I was so offended by that. Like, what are you talking about? They're like, people don't want to approach you. And I, I used to work with groups of people out in public and I used to cross my arms all the time. It was just me because that's, that's what I did. I didn't realize that that's how I looked on the outside. And now to this day, I don't, I don't cross my arms anymore. Like every time I know to cross my arms, I'm like, wait a minute. Like I think about that time, you know? And

Of course, at that time I was a fit in vibe, but now I'm just like, no, like I want to be perceived as a group that I'm not intimidating.


I actually learned that lesson in high school. There was a teacher, he always stood with his arms crossed and he was like, those nonverbal communications, I don't know how it came up in class, I don't remember that detail, but I know like he stood there like that to have an intimidating effect on the other students. It's like, I don't want you coming up and talk to me, I am not your friend, I am a teacher and I am here to control like what's happening in the hallway or what's happening in class.

And then I just, I remember that for years, even to this day. And so when I'm going to networking events or I'm sitting in my coworking space, like even at the table, I'll, I'll fold my arms. I'll touch myself. So I have to do something with my arms. And so like, how am I showing up in meetings? So I want you to be able to talk to me. So I put my hands together and then they're on the table, but it's still like an open.

triangular space. And so that communicates I'm open and like I'm ready to have a conversation. As opposed to if your arms are crossed, you're closed off and you are not approachable. So I think that's good feedback though to like request how do I show up in meetings? How do I show up on a daily basis? As terrifying as that question is to ask, you will learn so much from that one question.

And then when you have your weekly L10 meetings, should add like a reflection question. Where did I lead well this week? Where did I get in my own way? Or where did I get in my team's way? And notice, write it down because those patterns are gonna start showing the truth of how you come across, whether you mean to or not. You're gonna pick up on your behaviors and say like, I don't like how I'm being perceived. And maybe,

it's something small or maybe that's like, I'm finding perceived that way. And you change nothing at all, but you're not going to know until you start doing these reflections.


Yes, and post them on your wall. Like I have this blank wall right here in front of me I could just put sticky notes out here. Don't cross your arms!

That's a good reminder.

I mean, again, like self-awareness is like the foundation of a lot of the soft skills that we talked about communication, emotional intelligence, your boundaries, your resilience, your confidence, all of it. It's going to make you a better leader because people are going to trust you and then you're going to trust yourself more. You're going to understand them and yourself. because now your business is going to start running a little bit smoother. Everything, there's always room for improvement. So that like,

you're not going to react to your old habits. You're going to respond from, you know, again, from confidence and clarity.

And it's not about perfecting yourself because that's just a pipe dream that we tell ourselves. It's about getting honest with yourself and really honing in on creating something around who you are. Like, just like we've talked about on many episodes, like all time management practices, work, techniques, you just have to pick the one that aligns with you. And until you hone in on your self-awareness, nothing's going to work because you have no idea.


all the marketing strategies work. These people would not have the money that they have for creating them. But you have to pick one that aligns better with your values, with your triggers, with your energy levels, all of it, the season of life you're in and taking that practice so that you can respond and grow from a clear mind of knowing who you are, what you stand for and where you want to go.

is the best thing that you can do. So for all those that I've tuned in this long, here's your reflection for this week. Where is a lack of self-awareness creating friction in your business right now? Genuinely take a few minutes, especially as we're entering into the holiday season and all of us are in our strategic planning modes going into the new year. Really think about, like take a moment to reflect on that. Like, and then...

to make it even simpler, what reaction do you keep having that you've never taken the time to explore? Now is the best time to take time to explore your reactions, your triggers, any frictions in your business so that you can come out better, stronger next year.

Yes, you got this. And I would love to know what everybody else what your reflection is, like, what are your thoughts? You know, maybe you can grab the feedback from us and we can have a conversation so you can definitely send us a DM on Instagram, which that's going to be in the show notes as well.

So thanks everyone for hanging out with us today. These conversations matter because leadership isn't just about what you do. It's about who you're becoming. It's a very crazy mindset that you have to have. But whether you're growing your visibility through Pinterest marketing or streamlining your podcast operations and team management, Sara and I will help you build systems that work for you and not against you. And like Sara said, all of our information is in the show notes and


Remember, growth starts the moment you get curious about yourselves. Until next time.


Thanks for spending time with us today. If something in this episode gave you a fresh perspective, share it with a friend or send us a DM. We love hearing how these conversations land with you.