Active Listening Skills for Leaders: Transform Your Business Communication and Build Trust | EP 26

You're nodding along in a conversation about your business, doing everything a "good listener" should do. But internally? You're thinking "I know where this is going" or "I've explained this before." When the conversation ends, you don't feel clear or connected. You feel tense, maybe annoyed, definitely misunderstood. At that moment, listening breaks down. And it's costing you more than you realize.

Today, we're discussing why active listening isn't about your personality. It's an important leadership skill that requires intention and practice. What's the difference between listening to respond versus listening to understand? We explore this along with how power dynamics and defensiveness can hurt conversations.

This can be at networking events. This can be on client calls to team management. We're sharing tips for pausing before responding. Why asking open-ended questions help you discover more. And creating space for others to be heard. When you bring these skills to the table, it will reveal how listening builds trust. How it will reduce friction and transform your relationships 

What to listen for in this episode:

The networking trap and how to escape it: Why most people at networking events listen only to jump in with their pitch. And how shifting to curiosity-driven questions creates deeper connections and better business relationships.

Power dynamics and the editing problem: How authority changes conversations even when you think you're being neutral. Why do people soften or withhold information based on perceived power difference? Along with strategies for creating psychological safety in your communications.

Defensiveness as a signal, not a flaw: Understanding that irritation while listening usually points to something deeper (misaligned intentions, discomfort with authority), and how regulating your nervous system allows you to be curious instead of defensive in high-stakes conversations.

When people feel heard, they don't need you to fix everything, they need acknowledgment. What might shift in your business if you listened to understand instead of listening to respond?

Transcript

You're listening to Entrepreneurial Encounter, the podcast where soft skills meet real talk for creative business owners who are building with purpose. I'm Dana, a Pinterest marketing strategist and agency owner helping wedding pros and creative entrepreneurs get seen without burning out. And I'm Sarah, a business and team strategist who helps small teams and podcasters communicate clearly, lead with empathy and grow sustainably. Together, we're unpacking the messy, side of entrepreneurship.

from boundaries to burnout, leadership to listening, so you can build a business that actually fits your life.


Let's start with something familiar. You're in a conversation about your business, you know, a decision, a concern, feedback. You're doing what a good listener is supposed to do. You're quiet. You're not interrupting. You're nodding along, but something happens internally. You're thinking, I think I know where this is going or that's not what I meant or even I have explained this before.

And when that conversation ends, you don't feel clear or more connected. You honestly feel tense, maybe slightly annoyed, maybe misunderstood yourself. That moment right there, that's where listening starts to break down. And that's the tension we're going to unpack today in today's episode. Active listening gets talked about a lot. You know, we've talked about it a lot. It's always in every single room and every business workplace.

People just say, you know, just listen more, be a better listener. But what doesn't get said enough is listening is not necessarily a personality trait. It's a leadership skill. It is more of a leadership skill. We've talked about this at my coworking space during mastermind a few times, and it was on specifically on active listening. And just like any skill, it does require intention, awareness and practice. But if you are

listening only for the spot where you can start talking and you aren't asking not like follow up questions, but like something to keep the conversation going instead of just talking about yourself. You're really not answering. You're trying to get them to stop talking and there is a difference. And I never really thought of it that way until I was in this mastermind and he said it like that. I was like, because sometimes I do do that. I'm like, I'm ready to, to me, I feel like

I'm jumping in to help and to provide solutions, but he's like, really? You're just trying to get them to stop talking so you can talk about yourself instead of asking like questions and getting them to think and to share and to guide them along. And I feel like most of us were never taught how to be a listener from a position of authority. Like we tell our kids, be a good listener, be a better listener. You have all your listening ears.


What does that actually mean when that standpoint of like being a leader or a small business owner and you're working with people one on one? That reminds me of when I started networking because when I first started my business and going to networking events, I truly believed and thought that because we're going to networking, we get to talk about ourselves. So in conversation,

When someone would stop talking, I would say like, I do this, this is what I do. But it's like, no, like, and I've learned over the years, it does take a lot of skill. It takes a lot of practice. And then asking those open ended questions too, and paraphrasing, tell me more about that. I hear that you're doing this, you know, whatever helps the conversation flowing without you interrupting what they're saying to bring in your two cents about yourself.

I've learned that that person that's talking to you, they're talking to you. So don't really put it back on yourself. Like ask those questions to get clarification on what they're talking about and be curious about what they're talking about. I think that's the reality with most networking events. I will say is that most people don't listen to understand what the other person is saying or going through or trying to grow.

They listen to defend their point of view, correct someone else's thinking, explain themselves, like just hopping into our own elevator pitch, or they listen just to respond and not really have more of an in-depth, no small talk conversation. Especially when there's, you know, high stakes involved, like growing a business. And when you're leading a business, the power dynamics can amplify this, even when you think you're being neutral.

the roles are going to change and how your words are spoken or like even when your silence are interrupted. People, myself included, we tend to edit ourselves. They soften things, they withhold. Not because they don't trust you, because it's that power dynamic. know, when you're talking to somebody that maybe has been in business for 20 years and you've only been in business for five years, like you just want to step back and not necessarily like,


have that conversation or even listen to what the other person's saying because now you're like, well, this person is doing it, for example, better than me. So why would I respond to their conversation? And you know, it's true. I've been intimidated before I'm like, I'm talking to somebody that's been in business for all these years. And I'm just this one person over here that is starting out. And I think that

even in communication and growing your business and active listening, I think we do need to stop adding ourselves and just have those conversations. And there's anything that I've learned involved with active listening and from the conference that was at last week, one of the biggest takeaways for me was to own your space so you can listen, but you can also you don't have to edit yourself.

I don't want anyone that's listening to this episode to think that, just because you only have five years of business compared to someone with 30 years of business experience, you can't share your true sense and opinions because that is in no way, shape or form what we're trying to communicate here. It's own your space, but do so in an inclusive manner that when you speak, you do have that authority. You own your expertise.

but not at the expense of talking over or just responding to respond to someone else that you're in a conversation with. I think many of the leaders that I have enjoyed working with and like watching their business grow from the sidelines of social media are those that when they speak, it does feel more inclusive, like their role has not changed anything.

So when you're listening and active listening, it doesn't mean that you have to agree. I mean, it means staying present. It can sound like tell me more about that. So when we're talking about the power dynamics, when you are in conversation with a leader that's more experienced than you, like be curious, like tell me more about that. So that is showing that you're interested in the conversation or help me understand what you're saying or what your perspective is.


I've always been that person that is super curious about a lot of things. And I ask a lot of questions because I want to understand your perspective. I've been in situations when I've been told like you have too many questions, but like, why not? Why not ask those questions? Especially when you're having a conversation with somebody that you look up to or even a friend or whomever you want to have a conversation with like active listening and asking those questions shows that you are

involved in the conversation. It definitely so some of the green flags I feel like I've noticed is it looks like pausing before responding even if it's just half a second just like giving time to breathe or letting silence exist without rushing to fill it and I do say I will admit that that one's hard for me. I do not like long silences. I will fill it with something.

Or another green flag would be reflecting back on what you heard, not necessarily to repeat it, but to confirm that there's understanding going on between the two of you, whoever the two of you are and make sure you're on the same page. This could be your spouse. This could be a business partner. This could be a client. This could be a subcontractor, your children, whomever. I think defensiveness shows up through active listening more because the conversation starts to feel, I don't know.

less regulated, if that makes sense. So it often, you start to get irritated while you're listening and it's usually a signal to something else and not necessarily a personality flaw. So if maybe your intentions aren't there, or maybe you are not comfortable with taking up and honoring your authority, active listening requires consistent regulation because you can be curious and defensive at the same time. When leaders manage those internal reactions,

Listening over time does become easier and more effective and whatever role that you are diving into. you were talking about pausing in a conversation, I was on a call with a customer today and he asked a question. I answered it and then there was a pause. And mind you, it's over the phone. So you can't see this person. You can't see their body language, anything like that. And it was like,


Dead air. It seemed like forever. And so me, I was giving him the space to process what I said. Another thing too, when you have to think about that as well, a of people, the way that they think and the way that they react to things, everybody's brain reacts definitely to situations. So I gave him a few seconds and I said, Hey, like, do you have any other questions? And then he asked me another question and the conversation was over. So.

Yes, the pause can be awkward, especially when you're on the phone. But again, like giving people the space when people feel heard, they don't need you to fix everything. They need an acknowledgement. Listening will reduce the friction, you know, without adding more meetings or even more processes in your business or check ins. Because the more that you communicate, the more that you actively listen to

whomever you're talking to, your client or a team member, there will be more clarity in what is going on. I think that also when people feel heard, it builds trust, sometimes quietly, sometimes not quietly. And it's not through just agreeing for the sake of agreeing, but through you being present. And that trust is going to compound faster than most leadership tactics that are out there right now. And that trust leads to referrals. It leads to longer

longer lifespan of a client, everything. think along that same lens, active listening sits at the center of emotional intelligence because it requires self-awareness. Like I mentioned earlier, it requires regulation of your nervous system, empathy, and as always, it includes communication and they all work together. There's no one better than the other. It's very much a web.

of how close knit they are. And thankfully, all of these, because they are so close knit, doesn't mean you have to change who you are, like a complete personality overhaul. You just need to work on how you listen at any given point. Here's something to reflect on this week. Where do you feel most defensive in conversations about your business or maybe even in your personal life? And what might shift if you listened to understand?


and not to respond. As we've talked about a few times, active listening isn't passive. It is leadership and action. And people don't need you to agree just to agree. We no longer need guest people. What we need is to feel heard and feel appreciated and genuinely that you care about the direction that we're going in.

Thank you guys so much for spending time with us. Whether you're growing your visibility through Pinterest marketing or streamlining your podcast operations and team management, we help you build systems that work for you and not against you. And as always, all of our information is in the show notes. Until next time, you can now follow us on LinkedIn at entrepreneur encounter.

Thanks for spending time with us today. If something in this episode gave you a fresh perspective, share it with a friend or send us a DM. We love hearing how these conversations land with you. And if you're curious about how Soft Skills can support your next season of growth, we each have more resources to share. You can find Dana on Instagram at danas.desk.nc for pinch of strategy and intentional marketing. And Sarah.

at UR Rembert for team development, business leadership, and podcast support. Until next time, keep leading with purpose and growing with intention.