Why Your Clients Keep Misunderstanding You (And It's Not Their Fault) | EP 39

You did everything right. You sent the proposal, followed up with a recap, laid out the timeline — and somehow your client came back asking for something that was never on the table. If you've been there, you know the feeling: a mix of frustration, confusion, and that quiet dread of having to address it without damaging the relationship. 

For entrepreneurs, client miscommunication isn't just uncomfortable,  it's one of the most common drivers of scope creep, resentment, and burnout. And here's the part that's hard to hear: most of the time, it's not the client's fault.

In this episode, you'll hear why client misunderstandings keep happening even when you think you've been clear and more importantly, the specific language shifts you can start making right now to stop the cycle. From the "curse of knowledge" that makes you skip over critical details, to the sneaky patterns that quietly burn down client relationships

What to listen for in this episode:

• Communicate from your client's starting point, not just your expertise. You're communicating from inside your business — you know your process, your industry standards, and what your terms mean. Your client is hearing your words through the filter of their own assumptions, so the small undefined spaces you leave behind are exactly where scope creep takes root.
• Use specific numbers and details instead of vague scope language. Words like "a few," "as needed," and "regular check-ins" feel concrete when you write them, but they mean completely different things to different people. Instead of "two rounds of revisions," try "two rounds of revisions where each round is defined as one list of feedback submitted within five business days.
• Pause and confirm understanding during conversations, not just at the end. Asking "does that make sense?" at the end of an onboarding call tells you nothing, your client will say yes because they're excited to work with you, even if they only retained 40% of what you said. Instead, pause throughout the conversation and ask, "what's your understanding of how this process works?" so you can catch the gap before it becomes a problem.

(03:08) The Curse of Knowledge and Client Assumptions 

(05:49) Identifying Communication Patterns 

(09:05) Practical Language Shifts for Clarity 

(11:56) Establishing Boundaries and Expectations

(15:06) Building Stronger Client Relationships 

Transcript

You sent the email, you laid out exactly what was included, you even followed up with a recap after the call, and then somehow your client comes back asking for something you never agreed to. And you're sitting there thinking, how did we even end up here? Probably more than once. It's one of those most frustrating cycles in business. You're doing everything right, communicating, documenting, following up.

And somehow a misunderstanding still happens. I know I've had that happen and it's usually because I let a boundary get blurred in the first place and it was hard to come back from. And if we're honest, it's probably happened more than once. It has happened more than once. Oh yeah, I was in there too. And maybe with more than one client. And lately, like in the last year or two, it hasn't happened with more than one client. There's always the one. But...

Today, we're unpacking why the communication breaks down between you, the business owner and clients. And more importantly, the specific language shifts you can start making immediately to stop that cycle because it is not a fun cycle to be stuck in at all. If you've ever dealt with scope creep or confused clients or that sinking feeling that, you know, when someone comes back with expectations that don't match yours, stay tuned.

three things we're covering, why clarity feels clearer to you than it actually is for your clients, the communication patterns that quietly create misunderstandings, and the language shifts that change everything. And before we get into it, we do have a free gift for you this week, and it's our 20-minute clarity map because we love getting clear in our communication processes. Inside, you'll learn how to pick three goals that will make the biggest impact.

Pair each of those goals with a soft skill to boost that follow through and accountability. Define simple realistic actions you can actually complete. And then most importantly, stay consistent without burning yourself out. Instead of guessing what to focus on or trying to do it all, this tool is gonna give you a clear, simple framework to cut through the noise in just 20 minutes.


You'll have a plan that feels doable, values driven and designed to move your business forward without that burning the candle at both ends feel. And that's what we want. We want the clarity. You can now follow us on LinkedIn at entrepreneur encounter.


So even though it's hard to hear when we explain a project, a deadline or how many edits are allowed, it seems very clear to us. We know what we mean. So we just assume that our client understands it the exact same way you are communicating from inside your business. Like, you know what's going on. You know your process, you know, what's the standard in your industry, you know, what's

one round of revisions means to you. I mean, your client doesn't have any of that context. They're hearing your words through the filter of their own assumptions and expectations. And this is called the curse of knowledge. When you know a lot about your work, it is hard to remember what it's like to be a beginner because obviously as time goes on, you learn so much. Now you have all this knowledge in your head and

You are in your business all the time. So when you bring on a client, they're not in your business. So you need to communicate. You might leave out simple details because they seem, they seem obvious to you, but your client really needs to hear, to hear them. For example, there was this business owner who used to offer two rounds of revision and her proposals. She thought it was clear.

but she never explained what a round actually was. Didn't mean one single edit or whole list of changes. Did sending two separate emails count as two rounds? She assumed that client knew what she meant, but they didn't. And there's this gap. It's the small undefined space is exactly where the scope creep lives. I mean, I've been there. I've been asked to do many other things that had nothing to do with

the contract that we made out. It's not usually that the clients are trying to take advantage of you. It's that you both filled in the blanks differently and no one caught it until it became a problem. So this first shift is you want to stop communicating from your expertise and start communicating from your client's starting point. Ask yourself, what does this person actually know walking into this conversation?


What are they probably assuming? What have I left undefined that I think is obvious? I think that's an interesting with the round of revisions. I don't think I would have known either to be completely like, what does a round mean? I know for me when I'm making revisions to pen graphics, which I typically only have one round, but

I don't have a clause for it. We'll fix it until it's right because it's their brand identity, but I'm not building a website or anything. So that is a very important clarification that I did not think about until this episode. Okay, so now let's talk about the specific patterns because once you see this, you can't unsee them and you'll start catching them in your own communication almost immediately.

Pattern number one is vague language that sounds specific. Words like a few, some, as needed, or ongoing support, which also translates to regular check-ins. These feel concrete when you write them, but they mean completely different things to different people. Regular check-ins to you might mean monthly, but to your client it might mean weekly. Neither of you is wrong.

but you're operating differently. And so it's really important to set that standard. Pattern number two, front loading information without confirming understanding. This one shows up a lot during onboarding calls. You walk through everything, your process, your timeline, your expectations, and at the end you ask, does all of this make sense? And they say yes, and of course they say yes, they're excited to work with you.

but they retained maybe 40 % of what you said during this call. The fix there isn't to talk slower or to send a longer recap email, it's to pause throughout the conversation and ask specific questions. Not does this make sense? Because in their mind it does, but that doesn't mean it matches what you're trying to communicate. Because that yes, like I said, doesn't tell you anything. But something like...


Just so we're on the same page, what's your understanding of how the revision process works? That surfaces the gap before it becomes a problem. I actually do that a lot. I do that a lot. And at first, when I started doing that, I felt like I was being annoying because in a conversation, and now it's like you're interrupting. And that's what I felt like, we're interrupting the flow of the conversation. again, like communication, communication is so important.

behind the business, I do something like this with my children because we've had that same misunderstanding of clean, pick two areas of the house and clean it. And what that comes across in their head is picking up two socks. yeah. And thinking that's enough. So what we've worked out is essentially asking very similar questions. Just so we're on the same page, I want you to regurgitate back to me what I just said.

Now you can't say that specifically to a client, but the same point is across of what is your understanding of this process, of this section, like taking a moment to pause. We'll save you countless of headaches later. Pattern number three is communicating boundaries after the fact. And this is a big one. It probably should have been pattern number one. You set a boundary around response times, scope, communication channels,

but you only mention it when someone crosses it. Don't wait for that. So to the client, it doesn't feel like a boundary. It feels like a rule you made up after the fact. And then you feel resentful and they feel blindsided and now there's friction in a relationship that didn't need any friction. Boundaries communicated beforehand and before they're needed feel like structure. Boundaries communicated after they're crossed feel like punishment.

The timing does matter just as much as the words do. And finally, pattern number four, and this is probably the sneakiest one on the list, is assuming that a written agreement replaces a conversation. You sent a contract, they signed it, great. But did you walk through it together? Because most clients sign contracts without reading every line closely. And we have learned people do not read.


yeah, no, they they don't. You do not read. So because in this situation, they trust you and they trust you enough to collaborate and work with you. And that trust also means that they're relying on you to surface the important stuff verbally, not just hidden in the fine print. I honestly would rather you sit there with me with the contracts and go through it with me and then we can ask questions, get feedback.

all those things because yes, you are right Dana like nobody reads stuff. They're like, I'm just excited to get to work with you. So I'm just going to sign this and get to the work get going. If you ever get a contract, read it, read all of it. And before you sign it, and if you have questions, ask those questions. Alright, so let's get practical because we don't want you to walk away from this episode just feeling like you've been communicating wrong. We want you to walk away with actual

the language you can use starting with your next client interaction. Let's talk about some shifts that we can do. So shift one, you wanna replace vague scope language with numbers and specifics. Instead of saying two rounds of revisions, you can say two rounds of revisions where each round is defined as one list of feedback submitted within five business days. This is super specific and it feels more formal

but it removes the second. Tip two, you want to swap. Does that make sense for what questions do you have? Or walk me through your understanding of X, Y, and Z. You're not. Yeah, so you're not testing them. You're inviting them into the conversation. It's just like a small tweak in your language. It's gonna completely change the dynamic. When I was in college, I took a class

It was like a intro to counseling or something like that. And we always talked about communication because when you're talking to clients, you want to rephrase like what they're saying to show that you understand what they're saying and show that you're engaged in the conversation. And I believe that asking the questions about walk me through of what you're understanding, that's going to help with clarification as well. Shift three, you want to speak about your


boundaries and your onboarding, not just in your contracts. You want to say it out loud. Something like one thing I want to flag up front is I respond to emails within 24 hours on weekdays. So if you ever feel like you haven't heard from me, give me until the end of the day and then feel free to follow up. You're setting the expectations before there's ever a reason to enforce it. Set those boundaries from the get go.

When I started, I didn't set boundaries. I was just like, yeah, I'm getting work. And then I felt like I was getting walked all over and, you know, answering emails at 10 o'clock at night and thinking I had to because coming from like the quote unquote corporate world, you're trained in a certain way. So when you start your own thing, you feel like you have to do that. But no, you're doing things on your terms. Shift four, when a misunderstanding does happen and

It's going to happen because we're all human. We're all going to make mistakes. We're all going to forget things, whatever it is. But you want to resist the urge to defend your original communication. So instead try, I hear that this landed differently than I intended. Let me clarify what I meant and let's figure out together how to move forward. You're holding yourself accountable. Like you want to make sure that whomever you're talking to, you're able to clarify what is being communicated.

That one sentence is going to keep the relationship intact while still addressing issues directly. mean, nobody likes to get in conflict. likes any one loves the blame game. No, like, it's taken me a while to over the years, don't take things personally. Like, it just, just have a conversation. And the overarching shift underneath of all of these, you want to move from assuming understanding to confirming it.

Because yes, we can assume that somebody read the contract and they understand, but you want to just clarify and ask those questions. The goal is not to send a perfect message. The goal is to create a shared understanding. And that requires a two way street. Because again, communication goes two ways. It's not just a written email. Again, I'm going keep saying this. You want to make sure that you have clarity.


Make sure that your client understands because that's going to set the tone for the rest of the time that you're together and for every person that you start working with. I think it also helps that when a boundary is crossed, it's not blindsiding them of, well, this, this, this and this. You can give a kind reminder of the boundary of.

Thank you for letting me know this or thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will address it with my full attention during my operating hours. I have had former clients that have come back and said like my office hours and my boundaries have shifted because I learned, I grew, I, you know, I developed myself and they would text me because at the time I was fully accessible. Well, when they came back, I was no longer fully accessible because I wanted to

Chill out sometimes. Yeah. And my business. I love my business, but I did not want to be at my laptop 24 seven. It was really a problem. So she would be texting me about things that she finally reviewed. And so I would say, I need you to send this in an email and I will respond to it in the morning during these times. And she was fine with it because we had already talked about it. I'd already.

When I onboarded her, let her know the change from the last time that we worked together so that she wasn't blindsided and she respected that. So it sounds scary, but for the most part, we all have boundaries that we want to protect. We do, our clients do. So two-way loop, super simple. Here's what we want you to leave with today if you've made it this far in the episode. Miscommunication is not a character flaw. Honestly, it's life.

It doesn't mean you're bad at your job or that your clients are difficult. It means communication can be hard because again, sometimes life is hard. And most of us were never taught how to do it with precision in a business context. The entrepreneurs who have the smoothest client relationships aren't the ones who never have misunderstandings. They're just the ones who've built communication habits that catch the gaps early,


before they turn into a full blown conflict. So this week, take a moment and pick one thing. Look at a proposal, an onboarding email, a contract walkthrough, and ask yourself, where am I assuming understanding that I haven't actually confirmed? And if you're struggling with that, maybe have a team member or a close entrepreneur friend walk through that process from their point of view and like, it's out of their head.

They don't look at it the same way you do. And that one question is going to tell you everything that like discovery. Don't forget to snag that clarity map. The link is in the show notes until next time. can now follow us on LinkedIn at entrepreneur encounter.