Why Jumping to Fix-It Mode Is the One Habit That's Breaking Your Business Relationships | EP 46

You're mid-call with a client. They're frustrated, something slipped, something didn't land the way they imagined and before they've even finished their sentence, your brain is already three steps ahead. You're building the solution. You're being efficient. You're doing what you do best. Except they haven't felt heard yet. And that gap - between solving and understanding - is exactly where business relationships start to fall apart without anyone realizing why.

In this episode of Entrepreneur Encounter, the conversation gets into empathy as a practical, learnable business skill — not the soft, abstract version, but the kind that directly affects client retention, team communication, and even how you negotiate. You'll hear why fix-it mode isn't the problem (it's actually a strength), but why leading with it before someone feels understood tends to backfire. We cover what empathy actually looks like in day-to-day business situations, where it tends to break down when things get busy, and a handful of small, repeatable shifts you can start using this week.

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What to listen for in this episode:

1. Empathy is a shortcut, not a detour. Most entrepreneurs assume that pausing to understand someone costs time. But when someone feels genuinely heard, they stop escalating, stop repeating themselves, and get to "let's solve this" faster. Understanding first isn't in the way of efficiency — it often is the efficiency.

2. Quiet is expensive. If you have even one contractor or team member and they're not bringing you problems, that silence isn't peace — it's a warning sign. Empathy is what creates the psychological safety for people to tell you the truth before a small issue becomes a big one.

3. Empathy in negotiation is a strategy, not a weakness. Understanding what the other party actually needs — not just what they're asking for — is how you find deals that hold. Agreements made without it tend to unravel or end relationships rather than build them.

The entrepreneurs who retain the best clients and the best people aren't always the ones who deliver the fastest solutions, they're the ones who make people feel understood first.

Transcript

You're listening to Entrepreneur Encounter, the podcast where soft skills meet real talk for creative business owners who are building with purpose. I'm Dana, a Pinterest marketing strategist and agency owner helping wedding pros and creative entrepreneurs get seen without burning out. And I'm Sarah, a business and team strategist who helps small teams and podcasters communicate clearly, lead with empathy, and grow sustainably. Together we're unpacking the messy, meaningful side of entrepreneurship.

From boundaries to burnout, leadership to listening, so you can build a business that actually fits your life.

Okay, picture this. You're on a call with client and they're upset about something. I'm sure you're already thinking about what a potential client could be upset about. Maybe it's a deadline slipped, maybe it's the deliverable wasn't at what they pictured or imagined, and your brain goes straight into fix it mode. You're already three steps ahead, building the solution in your head while they're still talking. So you're no longer even actively listening.

And as a former wedding planner, I understand this far more than I probably want to admit. But this is a real thing because fix it mode is like my second language. It's my love language. But here's the thing in those moments, we, I will include myself, we think we're being helpful. You think you're being efficient, but what they actually needed in that moment was not a quick response fix solution.

They need to feel heard that you understand before they get helped. And there's this gap between solving and understanding. It is something almost I'm pretty sure every entrepreneur runs into. You know, you're so used to being the problem solver. Like Dana said, like I I wanna kick it into gear and solve this problem right now. And then you skip the step that actually builds the relationship. And today we're talking about empathy.


You know, not the soft, fluffy version of it, but empathy as a practical learnable skill that affects your relationships, your team if you have one, even how to negotiate. We're covering what empathy actually looks like in a business context. So why it tends to get pushed aside when things get busy, and a few specific ways to build it back on into how you communicate starting this week.

If you've ever walked away from a conversation and thought, I handled that wrong, even though I had good intentions, please stay tuned to this episode of Entrepreneur Encounter. Before we get fully into it though, I want to quickly mention something that we're doing called the spotlight swap. If you're a values-aligned business owner with an audience of your own, this is a newsletter exchange where we feature you to our list and you feature us to yours. There's no cost.

This is just a mutually beneficial visibility opportunity with people who are already a good fit for each other. We are all about bartering with those in our network. So if this sounds interesting to you, the details are going to be in the show notes. Now let's get back into how you can handle things in a better way. So empathy is understanding and sharing what someone is feeling, not just acknowledging it.

But actually stepping into their experience for a second. That's saying, what would you do if you were in their shoes? Like be in their shoes for a moment, you know, figure out and understand where they're coming from and ask those open ended questions and be curious about where they're coming from. And empathy isn't agreeing with someone. It isn't taking on their emotions as your own. It's it's nothing like that. It's recognizing what's happening for them.

What's happening to them, even if you'd handle the situation differently. You can empathize with a client's frustration without agreeing that the frustration is justified. Those are two separate things. I feel like most entrepreneurs think that empathy slows them down, or people in general, but we're gonna keep it, you know, on the professional side of things. Like it's this extra emotional labor or time-consuming layer on top of an already full plate, but empathy isn't.


The thing standing between you and efficiency, it's usually the shortcut because when someone feels understood, they stop escalating. They also take a breath. They stop repeating themselves and they go to let's solve this faster because they feel like they're genuinely being heard. It's not separate from communication, which surprise, surprise is the foundation of all of it. You can say the clearest, most well organized thing in the world is

But if the other person doesn't feel understood first, they're not gonna hear it. It's not gonna ever land in the way that you want or intend it to be. Exactly. And this is why I actually enjoy having conversations with people because I want to understand where they're coming from. I tend to ask a lot of questions because I want to understand where that person is coming from. So when you are working with a client and they're frustrated or

they're feeling down or something's not going right, you want to sit there and yes, you want to listen to them, but also ask all the questions to make sure that you understand them, you know, the where they're coming from. So we want to get specific because it's isn't just about client calls. So let's say that you have a team. If you have even one contractor or an employee, empathy is what makes people feel safe enough to tell you the truth or come to you with feedback.

Such as this deadline's at risk. They may feel overwhelmed. So they want to come to you because you are showing that the empathy, that respect to them. They can tell you that something's not working. And without it, people just go quiet. If you are not showing up for the people that you've hired, even that one person that you've hired, and you're not showing up in a way that you're showing empathy or showing that you care for them, they're gonna go quiet and eventually they're gonna leave.

And quiet is expensive. You don't find out something's wrong until it's already a problem. And then with clients, it's your retention. Anyone can deliver a service. What makes people stay and even refer you is feeling like you actually understand what they need, not just what they ask for for you on paper. And the one people don't expect is negotiation. We tend to think of negotiating as a competition where

Empathy would make you soft, but understanding what the other side actually needs, what's driving their position or their viewpoint is how you find the deal that works for both of you instead of one where someone walks away resentful or feeling like they got the short end of the stick. Deals made out of resentment don't last. They don't offer up referrals for down the line.

And they either fall apart or in the business relationship in a negative way and not a positive one. Okay, so let's get a little practical here. So because empathy, I wouldn't say it's a personality trait, you either have or don't. It's a skill. You can actually train yourself on how to have this skill, the soft skill of empathy. So first one is active listening, but the real version, not waiting for your turn to talk, you want to actually pause.

And listen to the person that's talking to you. You want to summarize back what you heard and ask a follow-up question before you respond with a solution. Second, get curious about the why, the why behind what someone's doing, not just the what. If a client keeps pushing back on something, there's usually a reason underneath it that has nothing to do with you. And third,

Make space for people to actually say the hard thing, which is uncomfortable for everyone involved until you get used to doing it. Yeah. After a hard call, ask yourself, how did that probably feel from their side? You don't need to completely workshop it and dissect it into a hundred, you know, points of view. Just a few minutes of honest reflection. In full transparency, I do this with my kids. When they test something out and try to explain something.

I'm usually the first question I ask is, what did we learn? And then we kind of do a quick reflection and then we move on because it's not meant to be a big deal. It's meant to be a learning case, a self awareness case, and going on from there. So none of these require like a complete personality overhaul. They're small, repeatable shifts that you can implement and kind of keep it moving so that it becomes more natural.


Exactly. And I believe that's the reason why we're doing this podcast, right? Is to help you learn these skills, help you train in your own way. Everybody's different. Everybody's learning style is different. Whether you watch our YouTube channel or listen to the audio version of our podcast, we want you to learn at your own pace, at your own capacity. So if there's ever like a skill that you know maybe you want to hear.

learn about definitely let us know because again you're not changing who you are you're just learning new skills that were are gonna help you in the long run both in your professional and your personal life so if there's one thing to take away from today empathy isn't the thing slowing your business down it's usually the thing that's been missing when things feel harder than they should so try this when you're in a conversation this week before you respond with a solution

Pause and reflect back what you heard first. You know, see what changes. And don't forget about that spotlight swap that we mentioned early on. And as always, all of our information is in our show notes. Until next time, you can now follow us on LinkedIn at Entrepreneur Encounter.

Thanks for spending time with us today. If something in this episode gave you a fresh perspective, share it with a friend or send us a DM. We love hearing how these conversations land with you. And if you're curious about how soft skills can support your next season of growth, we each have more resources to share. You can find Dana on Instagram at Dana's.desk.nc for pinch a strategy and intentional marketing. And Sarah.

At You Are Rembert  for team development, business leadership, and podcast support. Until next time, keep leading with purpose and growing with intention.