Why Leading Yourself Is Harder Than Leading Others | Self-Leadership for Entrepreneurs | EP 50

You give great advice to your clients.You can quickly spot what's holding them back, help them see a solution, and guide them toward their next step with confidence.

But when it comes to your own business? That's a different story.

Suddenly you're second-guessing decisions, overthinking every move, and wondering if any of it is actually working.

In this episode of Entrepreneur Encounter, we're talking about a skill most entrepreneurs never learn: self-leadership.

Because leading yourself is different from leading a client, a team, or a business. It requires self-awareness, intentional decision-making, and the ability to stay grounded when doubt starts getting loud.

In this conversation, we break down three key components of self-leadership:

• How to identify your core values and use them as a decision-making filter instead of making choices based on pressure, urgency, or fear

• How to recognize your patterns while they're happening, so you can stop repeating the same cycles of procrastination, avoidance, overworking, or self-doubt

• Why self-compassion isn't lowering your standards, but creating the conditions for real growth and change

In this episode, listen for: 

• Why your core values should guide your business decisions
• How to become more aware of your habits and reactions in real time
• The connection between self-compassion and sustainable growth
• Practical ways to strengthen your self-leadership as a business owner

What would change if you gave yourself the same guidance, patience, and support that you give everyone else? 

Transcript

You're listening to Entrepreneur Encounter, the podcast where soft skills meet real talk for creative business owners who are building with purpose. I'm Dana, a Pinterest marketing strategist and agency owner helping wedding pros and creative entrepreneurs get seen without burning out. And I'm Sarah, a business and team strategist who helps small teams and podcasters communicate clearly, lead with empathy, and grow sustainably. Together we're unpacking the messy, meaningful side of entrepreneurship.

From boundaries to burnout, leadership to listening, so you can build a business that actually fits your life. Hey, entrepreneurs, so glad that you're joining us today on Entrepreneur Encounter. As you can tell, Dana is not here today. She is actually on vacation. Good for her. I'm Sarah, one of your the co-host of Entrepreneur Encounter, and I'm a podcast operations and team strategist.

The whole point of our show is to help entrepreneurs learn about soft skills. And that's what every episode entails in a different aspect and a different perspective on how that's going to help your business grow. And it's going to probably take your business to greater things in the long run. So that is what the show is all about, whether you're running your business solo or you even have a team.

So definitely check out our episodes and stay tuned for this one. Today we're talking about something that we don't necessarily talk about often. And that's what we do for other people that we don't necessarily do for ourselves. You know how to lead your clients in their projects. You know how to le lead your team through a rough patch. And you've probably talked someone else.

off the ledge about their business more times than you can count. I know Dana and I have conversations often behind the scenes and we help each other overcome what's going on individually. But when it's just you, when you're in your own doubt, your excuses, you know, the spiral that hits you at eleven o'clock at night when you're sitting in bed trying to wind down for the night and you're questioning whether anything is working.


And suddenly all this leadership instinct that you have, it just disappears. Because leading yourself is not the same skill when you're leading everybody else. And most entrepreneurs have never really been taught this. Today we're going to be breaking down three tools that actually make self-leadership possible. It's about knowing your core values. It's about being honest with yourself and recognizing your own patterns and having

The self-compassion that you do with your clients that's going to help you keep going and see things more clearly. You know, sometimes you give your clients advice and then you don't take your own advice. So if that's something that you do and maybe you're trying to learn from that, definitely keep listening to this episode. Before we get into all of that, I want to mention

the spotlight swap. And this is what happens in our newsletter. It's an exchange where we exchange our freebies, our offers, and get in front of new audiences. And it's all about putting you in the spotlight, talking about your offer, and then we swap that. That's going to help, I believe it's going to help build our audiences in a different way. So if you're ready to do that or you just you want to check that out

Be sure to read the form that's going to be linked down in the show notes. So let's start with choral values. Because most people think they know theirs until you actually ask them to name three. I know sometimes I have a hard time naming these, and that's why it's always great to write these down. It's not

Necessarily like a vision board exercise. Your core values are the filter you're supposed to run your decisions through. Do I take this client? Do I raise my rate? Do I say yes to this collaboration? Without that filter, you're just gonna react. It's not about being indecisive. You're not indecisive, you're deciding without a reference point. That's different and it's flexible. So the shift.


That you can take before you make a big decision is ask yourself, does this actually line up with the value that I have? Or am I just avoiding discomfort right now? For example, my values are driven by humans, and I want to humanize the workplace and I want to humanize the business. People first leadership. Because once you start growing your business and you grow your team.

You have a team for a reason and you need to make sure that you are there for them in some way, that you're helping them grow in that role that they're in because you hired them for a reason. So when I am working with clients, I want to make sure that they actually care about their team. Because I've been on teams when they don't care. They make a mistake, they wanna let them go.

There's a lot that goes into that, but that's just a a little example of if you have what your values are, what your mission is, what do you believe in? You don't want to base your decision off of yes, I want a new client and just take a new client. You want to make sure they align with what you're doing, what your values are, what your mission is. Because if you just say yes and you're stuck maybe in a contract for three months, six months, a year, and you're realizing that.

They're not a right fit for you, that is going to be a headache all in of itself for you and your client. That was the first tool. So what is the second tool? It's about self-recognition. This is the hardest one, honestly, because it means catching yourself in the act, not after the fact. And this is where you notice, you know, I do this every single launch when you're launching a new product or service.

Or I always undercharge when I'm scared. Or you're procrastinating this exact same way because you don't want to have a hard conversation. So it's just this never ending cycle of well, I'm not gonna do this because of this. So if you undercharge, and we talked about this in the last episode, like you have to know your worth. I know it sounds more simple than it is because it took me a long time to get there too.

But when you start doing something out of your values, out of your confidence, it's going to help you not procrastinate. So when you have to have a hard conversation with a client, you can actually sit down with them and say, hey, this is what's going on. I see this. We should change this. Self-recognition is not about criticizing yourself. It's just accurate information. You can't leave a pattern you refuse to see.

So if you know that something is not going right, and if you're just let's use a procrastination example, if you just keep doing that and you refuse to see why you're procrastinating, you're not gonna have the right information. You're just you're taking yourself out of that discomfort and prolonging what should not be prolonged. And then the third tool is your self-compassion.

And this is where it usually goes wrong because once people see the pattern, they turn it into a reason to beat themselves up about it. It's I've made a mistake. no, I've done this. I'm not good enough. I'm not a good person for my client. I'm, you know, you're making up these stories in your head. You're not giving yourself time to reflect on what exactly is going on. And it just another never ending cycle.

And this is backwards. Self-compassion isn't letting yourself off the hook. It's what exactly makes the change possible. So if you're ashamed of yourself, you're going to stay stuck. If you're not confident in yourself, you're going to stay stuck. If you keep making up these stories in your brain, you're gonna stay stuck. Compassion is what is going to let you course correct without having to spiral. This again, with

Every skill that you learn, it takes time, it takes conversation, and you have to be able to be willing to lead yourself. Because as an entrepreneur, nobody is going to tell you what to do. And that could be a little frightening. I know when I started my business and many other entrepreneurs, we've come from being in the corporates, being in the nine to five, being in the office where

Not necessarily being told what to do, but we know what to expect for the day. And sometimes, and when you're an entrepreneur, you are not going to expect what happens day to day. Yes, you have your tasks and you're doing what you're supposed to do, but you have to be willing to put in the effort to learn professional development, learn personal development, because it all intertwines together. So just practice it.

You know, when you are feeling some way, stop it in its tracks. You know, catch that feeling, name it, what is going on, and then have a conversation with yourself, the way that you would talk to your client and just go back and forth with yourself and kind of see like what's going on, be self-aware. I'm feeling this way because of this. Look at the situation right now. What is going on?

Why are you feeling this way? Like, what is that feeling? And what exactly is going on? If you have to write it down, if you have to go look in the mirror to talk to yourself, and if you want to talk to somebody about it as well, do that. So your core values are going to help steer you in the right direction. It's going to help you with that self-recognition and the catching the patterns of when something happens and you're like, wait, I'm going down to the spiral.

But let's look at it, let's stop, let's figure it out. And self-compassion to actually change it. That's self-leadership. As time goes on, you can use this in your day-to-day life. This doesn't have to be necessarily in your business. But again, everything that happens professionally is going to be intertwined personally, especially like if you're working at home. Everything is at home. You're working in your office and you're upset because your client.

didn't give you the correct information and now you're gonna go sit on your couch and mope about it. Like, yes, it is hard to disconnect, but again, you have to go back to your values, self-recognition, and seeing that pattern and trying to figure out, like, hey, like I'm good at what I do. Let me just nip this in the butt to make sure that I'm good to go and I can sleep better tonight. Thank you all for being here today.

So excited that you got to listen or watch this episode. And as always, all of our information is down in the show notes. Until next time, you can now follow us on LinkedIn at Entrepreneur Encounter.

Thanks for spending time with us today. If something in this episode gave you a fresh perspective, share it with a friend or send us a DM. We love hearing how these conversations land with you. And if you're curious about how soft skills can support your next season of growth, we each have more resources to share. You can find Dana on Instagram at Dana's.desk.nc for pinch a strategy and intentional marketing. And Sarah.

at You Are Rembert for team development, business leadership, and podcast support. Until next time, keep leading with purpose and growing with intention.