Lauren (00:11.682)
Welcome to Wildly Unplug, the podcast where we unplug, get outside, and see what develops. I'm your guide, Lauren. This segment is Wildly Rejected, aka Becoming the Bison. If you're new here, the idea behind the challenge is simple. Instead of running away from rejection, I'm heading straight into the storm like a bison. The goal is a thousand rejections, inspired by

Lauren (00:39.724)
The goal is a thousand rejections, inspired by Gabby Carr's challenge. Because somewhere hidden inside all those no's are yeses, unexpected opportunities, and lessons I would have never found otherwise. This week was a little slower than last week, but I still hit my 10 asks. And I'm starting to realize that keeping up with 10 asks every single week isn't just about finding 10 things and clicking submit. It's also doing these updates too.

And last week I spent a full two days editing and producing podcasts. The interviews have picked back up, which I love talking to people from all around the world. And it is a little bit challenging now because that means I'm putting out two episodes a week between the interviews and then these rejection updates. And I'm not really sure that that is sustainable.

Maybe the rejection updates only come about, you know, every other week or on the weeks that I don't have an interview scheduled, or just like slower weeks in general. Two episodes a week, that's a lot, guys. It is just me and I am not monetized. So this whole thing has to keep evolving as I go. And

I only got to paint one time last week and I really, really miss it. Now that I'm living down here in Key West full-time and I want to be outside more, I want to be painting more, and I did not get to paint but once last week. So that's gotta change. I also need to build an entire art booth setup so that I can photograph it for an application for a big art fair that's happening in Key West next year. So I have paintings I want to make.

Projects I want to work on, and so much of my creative time has been spent sitting in front of a computer and editing or recording like I'm doing now, which I love doing, don't get me wrong, but balance, right? So that does bring up something that I'm starting to learn through this challenge, is just because I can pursue an opportunity doesn't necessarily mean that I should. I feel like I'm quoting Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park there.

Lauren (03:01.685)
but before we get to all that and my tips for what you should pursue, we need to talk about butterflies. I do not have Nemo in the room with me this week. He is currently outside. I see him, he's on the screen, looking a lot like the picture that I'm probably gonna post for the cover, and it's also in submittable. And I haven't really

shared much about monarchs on Instagram this week because it kind of got dark and depressing. After Nemo emerged with his crumple wing, I hoped that it was a fluke that that was going to be the only one. I when, and I hate to compare it to when I did this in Cincinnati, but that is the experience I have, that never happened back in Cincinnati. I never had

butterfly emerge with a damaged wing. I think I might have had one or two that didn't make it through the chrysalis process. And I mean that's a huge process. So it's understandable, but never one with a damaged wing. So I thought, hoping it was a fluke. And then on September 3rd, another monarch emerged and we named her Korra. I was gonna do Coral, but that's a little too on the nose. So we did Korra.

And I actually caught her emergence on a time lapse. So the day before they emerge, the chrysalis, I don't know if it's always see-through or if it does get thin. I'm not entirely sure by that process. However, I do know that it's pretty much see-through and you can see that it's black with spots and you can see the orange in there. So you know that they're coming very soon. And it's not like if it's a failed chrysalis, if it's

If it didn't make it, then that's just all black and kind of like mushy looking. So this one looked good. I set out a camera the night before to do a time-lapse video. And

Lauren (05:12.225)
When I look back on the footage, she basically rocketed out of the chrysalis. And it immediately struck me as odd because they usually hold on to the chrysalis, like the shell of the chrysalis, to dry their wings out. And they'll hang out there for, you know, sometimes up to several hours. And I found her on the ground and I picked her up and I immediately noticed her wing was crumpled. So we had another one.

And then this one was a female, the other one was a male. And it happened to be my husband and I's 22nd anniversary. And because of everything that I had written about the week before, with the homily and Nemo and brokenness and worth and being cared for, my brain immediately went to, my gosh, Nemo has a mate. We have these two little broken butterflies that.

have to depend on someone else to care for them. It's like a metaphor for marriage and, you know, three strands and God being the third strand. But no, before anybody runs away with my crazy metaphor, I'm not comparing myself to God at all. I'm just talking about symbolism. And especially after the strange string of connections that happened last week, I thought that it felt meaningful.

And then the very next day, on September 4th, another monarch emerged. And this one I was not prepared with a time-lapse video at all. It did not look like it was ready to emerge. And when I found it, I don't know the technical term. I'm still learning a lot about monarchs. It was just basically in a pile of goo.

And was very wet. It was not moving. I found him on his back and I thought he was dead. And

Lauren (07:25.773)
He wasn't, but his wings were the worst that I have seen yet. And that picture is also on Substack. Very, very badly crumpled and underneath the wings were they dried basically to the belly. is what ended up happening. And I didn't know what to do. And I gave him twenty-four hours to see anything would change.

Monarch Watch explains that newly emerged monarchs need time for their wings and other systems to fully mature, and they recommend waiting about 24 hours. So I waited the 24 hours to see what would happen. But he never improved. When I woke up the next morning, he had he had died. So now I have one chrysalis left, and I already know that something is not quite right with this guy.

part of the exoskeleton, the old caterpillar skin, is still attached to the chrysalis. And I don't think that it would necessarily mean that anything would be wrong if it's just attached to the outside. However, there's like this little upside-down horseshoe shape seam on one side of the chrysalis, and it's not completely fused.

I don't know if they're supposed to be like fused per se, but it's supposed to be like a closed seam. It looks like it's ripping open. And it doesn't look like the other three failed chrysalises, but it also doesn't look right. So I don't know if it's gonna form correctly. So we just have to wait and see. And after I wrote my Substack blog.

And before I sat down to record this, I did find another fully emerged butterfly. I don't know where he came from, where his chrysalis actually sorry, it's a female. I don't know where her chrysalis is, but when I found her, she had already passed away. But her wings were perfectly normal looking. So after Nemo, then Cora, this third butterfly that had the horribly crumpled wings.

Lauren (09:46.658)
The other butterfly that I found just a few minutes ago, this chrysalis, I stopped thinking that this is some weird fluke because they're all right in a row. I start started asking myself, what is going on here? And through my research, one pus possibility could be a parasite called

I'm not even going attempt to pronounce this, guys. It's O P H R Y O C Y S T I C space E-L-E-K-T-R-O-S-C-I-R-R-H-A. Or it's also known as OE. OE is a protozoan parasite that infects monarchs. The caterpillars ingest microscopic spores, and this parasite develops inside them.

And heavily infest infected, butterflies can become too weak to properly emerge from their chrysalis, and severe infections can result in crumpled wings, failed emergence, and death. But this is important. I can't just simply look at Nemo or Korra and say with certainty that they have OE. So you can't just diagnose this based on looking at the butterfly.

Some infected butterflies can look completely normal. Some have wing deformities. but sometimes the wing deformities could be from other causes. But with the amount of butterflies that I'm seeing right now having a problem, it certainly seems like that that could be the culprit.

And I have sent away for a testing kit. They send you some information, some apparently it's a, I don't know if it's a special type of tape or just tape. And you press the tape on the underside of the like on their belly. And you put it on this piece of paper, you record it, you send it back to them, and they look at it under a microscope, and they will let you know whether or not that is in fact the case.

Lauren (12:05.932)
So

Lauren (12:10.101)
I think with four butterflies that had problems and four chrysalises, three definitely had failed, one's a possible fail. That's eight total. It's something I have to take serious. So suddenly the milkweed I bought becomes a part of a much bigger conversation.

One of the biggest things that I learned is that the type of milkweed available at garden centers matters. Tropical milkweed is still commonly sold in Florida, but the University of Florida now recommends against planting it here because it can remain green year-round in the type of climate that Florida is in. The OE spores actually accumulate on the plants instead of disappearing with a natural seasonal dieback.

So Florida has native milkweed species that are a much better choice from monarch habitat. And here I was thinking, okay, I bought an invasive plant to feed these caterpillars that are going to come in, which I did cancel those guys from coming in. That's two episodes back. but I had about 20 caterpillars that were already on this milkweed. And I thought, okay.

I'm gonna take care of the caterpillars that are currently here that were born here in Key West. And I just won't plant the milkweed. I'll keep it contained upstairs on my porch and no harm, no foul. They'll still get to eat. They'll be released. They can be pollinators. But what I did not know is there is this horrible, horrible parasite.

And that got me thinking a lot about how something as simple as what a garden center chooses to sell and what we choose to plant can ripple outward and affect generations of monarchs.

Lauren (14:18.241)
So maybe that is where this is all leading me to that I need to educate others, maybe through my artwork or my voice and in asking stores to carry native milkweed instead of invasive milkweed.

Not sure. All I know is is that I have to use my voice and my art, probably both, to help people understand something that I honestly didn't fully understand until I was watching it happen right in front of me.

I don't know what that looks like, but I know something has started.

Lauren (15:02.805)
And all this makes me feel especially helpless over the past week because Nemo's wings have gotten stronger. He loves flying around and he is strong enough that if I had not learned about OE and this parasite and disease transmission, part of me would probably look at him and think, Maybe I can release him because being out in nature is where he belongs.

And then this is where it just breaks my heart. Project Monarch Health says monarchs with severe visible disappointment.

Lauren (15:43.086)
Project Monarch Health Project Monarch Health says monarchs with severe visible deformities associated with suspected heavy infection should not be released because they are unlikely to survive and could potentially spread OE spores. It also emphasizes that a healthy looking butterfly can still carry OE, which is why testing matters.

So for now I'm learning, I'm being humbled yet again, but I'm hoping that Nemo and Korra's story and my third guide and name

He needs a name.

Lauren (16:54.541)
Let's name him Hope. Because I hope.

Lauren (17:00.897)
That his death wasn't in vain and that it could inspire people to take action.

Lauren (17:12.493)
So I guess being humble yet again brings me back to rejection. One of my rejections this week wasn't really a traditional rejection at all. Back in March, when I first started doing all this, I was accepted into Blick's affiliate program. Six months later, I haven't met the minimum sales requirement, so my affiliate account is going to be discontinued unless I suddenly step things

Way up. And I think I'm gonna have to let that go. I love Blick and I'll keep buying art supplies from Blick, but I already struggle enough with finding the time and energy to sell my own art. Why am I going to burn more energy trying to sell somebody else's products just so I could keep an affiliate account? And

Better yet still, I I'm just a small business. I'm a struggling business. Blake is well established, and they will do fine without me as an affiliate. So that's brought me to something really important as I get deeper into this 1000 rejection challenge. How do you know when you should push yourself to make a big ask?

And when an opportunity simply isn't worth pursuing. Because this challenge was never supposed to be another way for me to run myself into the ground trying to get away from hustle culture here. The point isn't for me to apply for everything, the point is to stop letting fear make the decisions for me. And those are two very different things. So

For now, before I make an ask, I'm trying to run it through a few different questions. Do I actually have time for this?

Lauren (19:15.103)
Not imaginary future me having time for this, real time. If I get accepted tomorrow, can I actually do what I was just asked to do?

Can I afford it? Some opportunities come with application fees, travel expenses, membership costs, supplies or other commitments. A yes isn't always free. Actually it's probably like never free 'cause it's gonna cost your time, your effort, your energy, something.

Do I have the energy for it? This one might matter even more than time because technically I could probably squeeze one more thing into my calendar, but should I?

Lauren (20:06.309)
What is the commitment if they actually say yes? This challenge is about becoming more comfortable with rejection, but every ask also carries the possibility of acceptance. That means I need to stop treating the application as a finish line and start asking what happens after it. And what does this opportunity actually advance? Does it advance my art, Wild Development Studio?

Conservation, my podcasts, my writing, a skill I genuinely want to develop, a relationship or community that matters to me? Or am I applying just because it exists and I want another line on the spreadsheet? And that last one can be sneaky because once you turn rejection into a game, suddenly everything starts to look like an opportunity to collect another point. I don't want to collect a thousand musing.

Meaningless rejections. I don't want to collect a thousand meaning I can talk. I don't want to collect a thousand meaningless rejections. I want to make a thousand ass that I might have previously been too scared to make. And this week, I made two of those bigger ass and

Lauren (21:40.358)
I had a few blank asks that I needed to fill and because the thought kept nagging in my head for weeks now, I thought it's time to go for it. I reached out to Trailbound Sketches and with Create Anywhere about being guests on the Wildly Unplugged pod podcast.

I reached out to Trailbound Sketches and with Create Anywhere about coming on Wildly Unplugged podcasts. Those are the kind of asks that I want more of. People whose work I genuinely enjoy, conservations I actually want to have, and opportunities that fit what I'm building. Because maybe the next stage of the challenge isn't simply, can I make the ass? Is it

Lauren (22:30.325)
Maybe it is, is this ask worth making? And if the answer is yes, then stop trying to predict whether or not they will reject you. So the stats as they stand on week 22. Total asks 190, accepted 42, rejected 83, in review 33, email and waiting on a response 20, wait listed zero.

And other 12, which means I am now 19% of the way to 1000 S. This challenge isn't just teaching me about how to get rejected. It's teaching me how to better care for our environment. It's teaching me what's worth asking for. And apparently, it's also teaching me that I need to stop editing long enough to pick up a paintbrush.

and get outside into nature more. So with that, until next time, unplug, get outside, and see what develops.