Turning Criticism Into Strength: Navigating Online Hate, Body Image, and Self-Acceptance

The sting of a critical comment can linger, but what if instead, it becomes the very thing that propels you forward? That's the heart of our latest conversation, where I navigate the murky waters of online criticism and the resilience it takes to turn that into a force for good. This isn't just about deflecting the negativity; it's a deeper exploration into the psychology behind the trolls and the strength we can find in ourselves to rise above it. 

Buckle up as we candidly broach the topic of body image in the digital age, where the line between community support and cyberbullying is often blurred. Here's where the rubber meets the road: dealing with the insecurities that harsh comments can evoke the stout-heartedness required to confront them.  Join me for this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, where we learn to see ourselves not through the lens of critique but through the clear eyes of success and self-acceptance.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I blocked somebody for the very first time. Let's get into it. The Lovey Mishy Bi podcast. Let's inspire each other. I was feeling really good yesterday. I woke up, had some coffee, was preparing for my day. I see a notification on YouTube, so I open it. It is a comment left on my three types of friends podcast. You know, I do my podcast, which is all audio, and then I have a YouTube that I release every Sunday. That is the visual of my podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:48

I had a comment from Jack Henry and he says you hit the wall. Okay, so my assumption is, when somebody says you hit the wall, that means they know you, they knew the younger you, and now you've hit the wall. I don't know you, jack Henry, and I really don't need you to tell me that I've hit the wall. Okay, I see the wrinkles, I see the, I see the different things that are happening because of aging. I don't need you, sir, to tell me that. And you know, I have to say at first, I'm getting better. I'm getting a lot better at dealing with crazy troll people, and that's what I'm going to call them Crazy troll people, because they don't know me. I feel like I need to talk about this. I feel like I need to read some comments. I feel like I need to read some comments. I need to share some stuff with you guys. I know I'm Gen X and because I'm Gen X, nothing is supposed to bother us, and typically not a lot does. But I think I'm the more sensitive of the Gen X Like things bother me. I am getting better, but I'm not totally there yet. This is how you know you're totally there. When you're dealing with hate comments, you respond with sarcasm and you keep it moving. If you're not over it and you're defensive about it, you want to rip somebody's face off and you comment as such. So I'm getting better at just making it funny. And I don't even know. I'm sure I had a comment back to him. What did I say? Oh, my response to James was nice, coming from someone who has no profile pic, sending you peace from your mommy issues. Yeah, this one I kind of hit back a little bit. See what I'm saying, like I shouldn't. I shouldn't be doing that, I shouldn't be responding like that. I just don't know that I can't not respond like that.

Speaker 1: 2:46

Before we dive in headfirst to this theme today, I have another podcast and it's called Code Green Plant and I have a co-host. Her name is Phoebe James. We speak about cannabis. We are cannabis activists. We talk about the laws that are changing, how it affects us, the daily consumer. What's in all of these products that are out there Delta-8, delta-9, cannabinoids I don't know if you knew this, but we all make cannabinoids. That's right. The plant makes them and humans and animals make them. The cannabinoids in the plant can be used to regulate our own internal thermostat, and that is the part of cannabis that I am so excited about all the research and things like that. So we talk about that on the show. I recently received an email that was let's just call it hater humor. I received a four paragraph email about me and all my mistakes on Code Greenplant, so I figured I'd share some of that with you and then we'll actually hit the theme right after that. Okay, take a listen.

Speaker 2: 3:57

It's a good email, I feel. I just feel bad. That, like the night you got it made you feel bad a little bit, you know, because you just got to find the beauty in something like this, you know you got to understand.

Speaker 1: 4:08

It wasn't just this email that made me feel the way I was feeling.

Speaker 1: 4:12

There's a lot of hate out on the internet in general and it can be very hard to digest and to know, to think to yourself they don't really know me, they don't know me at all and they're just taking maybe one snippet or one video and they're forming an opinion and and I have to remind myself that they aren't my people if they feel that way and I just have to keep rolling Some people just actually get a kick out of just making people feel bad. And I'm not saying that that's what her goal was. I'm not really sure what her goal was actually, not really 100% sure if she's trying to help me or not, but I'll let you decide what she was actually trying to say. So her name I'm just going to give her first name, assuming she's real, but her email does show that that's really her name in her email, so I'm kind of thinking it is real. Her name is Kinsey. She said hi, christy. Exclamation point I recently started listening to your podcast because I have a new year's resolution of smoking more marijuana, don't we all?

Speaker 1: 5:21

every year every year and I want to make sure I know all the ins and outs of this crazy drug. I heard one lady somewhere took pot and then stabbed her boyfriend over a hundred times recently and I will say did she hear that or did she hear us?

Speaker 2: 5:36

because we actually talked about it um, a california woman that stabbed her boyfriend to death, but she only got two years probation and a hundred hours community service. Can you, can you imagine a reason why that would happen?

Speaker 1: 5:52

No, Stabbed her boyfriend 108 times.

Speaker 2: 5:55

Rage in California after that woman right there convicted of stabbing her boyfriend to death only gets a slap on the wrist. We probably told you about it, Kenzie, but yeah, yeah at least just so you know, you did retain it, you just forgot where you heard it from.

Speaker 1: 6:09

Exactly Seems like a good topic for your show. Anyway, I don't want to become a nutcase like her too late, so I'm tuning in to you and Phoebe I can never spell that weird name as often as possible now, and I think you have a lot of information that may prove useful to me in my personal journey with blazing up the weed Great punctuality, by the way. Here's some feedback from me as a loyal listener. I like the music in your show a lot. It sounds cool and your voice is great too. Phoebe's is even better. Sometimes I think she should be the main host every other episode or something. Listen, kinsey, I tried to have her host this one and she said no, okay, not trying to take it from her.

Speaker 2: 7:10

I'm not trying to take it from you.

Speaker 1: 7:13

I also want to note a couple of things. I noticed during the sports episode that you may want to go back and edit ASAP. First, I heard you kept saying how much you admire Kobe Bryant, but you kept A S A P. First, I heard you kept saying how much you admire Kobe Bryant, but you kept calling him Colby Bryant. And she's right. I think I did. And to the sports fans all over the world, the Lakers fans, you know, just the Colby fan, I was just a Colby fan. I'm not even a basketball fan so much I think I did even a basketball fan so much I think I did.

Speaker 1: 7:53

Why didn't you say, why didn't you say that is your job, that is your job.

Speaker 2: 7:59

The first time it happened. I'm like, wait, did she just say it happened a couple more times? And so did she just say it was? And then it did it. It happened a couple more times, and so did I ever say it? Right, I don't think so. Wait, but I'm sweating. Wait, it might have okay. So I I felt like it was more an enunciation thing. I felt in my head I'm like she knows the man's name because she knows about him. I was thinking it's more an enunciation thing. I felt in my head I'm like she knows the man's name because she knows about him. I was thinking it's more an enunciation thing, like how you pronounced it and, being that you're from New Jersey, I'm like maybe that's how they pronounce it in New Jersey.

Speaker 1: 8:33

No, it's only my pronunciation. Don't blame Jersey.

Speaker 2: 8:38

Even though my son's name is Caleb, some Spanish speakers call him Kaleeb or something along. You know, it's like maybe it's not Spanish. You're giving me way too much credit, you're giving me way too much credit.

Speaker 1: 8:48

I'm just like I don't want to.

Speaker 2: 8:50

You know, I don't want to rain on her.

Speaker 1: 8:52

No, and the. Thing is?

Speaker 2: 8:54

I don't know.

Speaker 1: 8:57

Next time I can edit. Next time Just say listen, christy, christy, from me to you, kobe, kobe. You keep saying there's no l kobe do you know how to spell it? Yeah, what you want me to spell it k-o-b-e. Okay, I just say kobe, but I call him kobe now you got right.

Speaker 2: 9:19

Thank you for letting christine know how to pronounce kobe b.

Speaker 1: 9:22

Oh, she's not done letting me know.

Speaker 2: 9:23

I almost called him Colby right then. Okay, so Okay, keep going. I'm sorry I might have muted myself because I'm going to keep laughing. It gets funnier to me.

Speaker 1: 9:32

No, you cannot mute yourself, but I will tell you she is right, and now I'm just going to listen to the entire episode to see if I said it right one time. Just give me one, christy, give me one, all right.

Speaker 2: 9:46

So you're like no, oh, I snort loud.

Speaker 1: 9:49

Y'all already hear that. Okay, okay, so hold on, let me finish. She's not done. Okay, nobody calls him Colby. That's literally insane. It seems like you may not admire him as much that much. After all, ha ha, after all, ha ha. Exclamation point. Also, it's disrespectful to a dead man. Oh, did you know that he raped someone and admitted it in court? I don't admire that part of him, but then he brought it. Then he brought his, bought his wife a $4 million ring, so she said it was fine and he became a hero girl dad and then died. You know the rest. I'm not sure she's a fan either. If we're going to break it down, just guessing Next paragraph there are five altogether. I think.

Speaker 1: 10:34

I also noticed that when you tried to sing the NFL song, you got some of the notes wrong. As a lifelong football fan, I'd like you to please correct that so no one else has to hear it. You know what time it is. It's football time, nfl theme song that we can't afford to put in our intro. I would like to say this this is the only part I'm actually going to defend. When I did that, that was kind of a parody type of thing. I wasn't trying to sing my best, but I'm not going to pat myself on the back, but I did win $500 in a karaoke contest at my last job, just saying I wanted it to be funny as a lifelong football fan. Now, if anybody knows me, I'm a football fan. If anybody's a football fan, it's me.

Speaker 2: 11:26

Certain players and I like some certain teams, but I don't like watching and yell at the TV like y'all do.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Yeah, no, it's a. It's a thing. Yeah, and my son Trevor, it's a thing, it's like it's. It's how we bond. You know what I mean? Football is one of our bonding things. My granddad was actually one of the founders of the AFL, which you've probably never heard of. Since you said you only watch football in order to eat chicken wings and see the commercials. I could care less who really wins. Honestly, I'm there for the wings and the Super Bowl heads. So there you go, unless we're talking about the Super Bowl. I may have said it for the Super Bowl because I didn't care about who was playing, but I'm a football fan. I may have said it for the Super Bowl because I don't care. I didn't care about who was playing, but I'm a football fan. I don't know where she's from. I'd like to know what her football team is, though I mean I would. I'm curious. She's probably a Philly fan. Oh, and you never said the name Gronkowski. Oh, I can't say this name partnered with a cbd brand, along with rob grukowski. Rob good count gronk.

Speaker 2: 12:31

Just call him gronk. I think that's what they call him gronk rob grukowski cronk.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Yeah, I think that sounds. I don't like the patriots so I don't really talk too much about him. I'm a cowboy oh okay.

Speaker 2: 12:44

Oh okay, You're a little biased.

Speaker 1: 12:45

That's right. That's why I can't say his name. Cowboy fans. Don't say his name. Gronkowski, you said it.

Speaker 2: 12:53

Is that it Gronkowski, right? Gronkowski, gronkowski, gronkowski.

Speaker 1: 12:59

Gronk. Just go with Gronkowski correctly, which was super strange to listen to. I will admit this one. It's pronounced exactly how it's spelled, like Kobe. You just look at the words and say them how they look. Such an idiot. Okay, let me know if that's okay with you. Okay, hold on. Thanks, she put. Thanks, kinsey. Ps. I don't know how to subscribe. Now this is my favorite part. I don't know how to subscribe to your show. You said to hit the button if I'm watching right now, but I was listening on my iPod shuffle. I'll keep trying to figure that out. You should also try to be a Cowboys cheerleader if you want. Who cares if you're old and not skinny? I always wanted to be a dallas cowboy cheerleader. Unfortunately, I never had the body for it I.

Speaker 2: 13:50

I've seen some pretty thick cheerleaders, so I don't know how you say. I guess maybe back then I'm old phoebe.

Speaker 1: 13:55

So that would have been back in the skinny. Um yeah, model days, you know. Plus, have you seen their uniforms? Yes, yes, there's nothing. You can't pad or hide anything in that outfit. They mainly care if you can dance to lots of modern pop and rap songs, I think. Okay, bye-bye, this is my life now.

Speaker 2: 14:18

Phoebe, I don't want to laugh at Kizzy, but I can't help it. I did good at holding it together through it. I didn't want to laugh and kissy, but I can't. I didn't get it. Holding it together through it, I didn't want to laugh and ruin you reading it, but um, she is really good writer.

Speaker 1: 14:33

I just have to say that she is a really good writer she must, like, study our episodes.

Speaker 2: 14:39

I don't know, but I'm scared. If she's not, she's telling us to do topics we already did. I don't know what's happening.

Speaker 1: 14:47

I don't know what's happening either, but I have a feeling the more we record, the more stuff like this we're gonna get it's just my.

Speaker 2: 14:54

So I feel like I feel like Kinsey's, like what's the word I'm trying to look for?

Speaker 1: 14:59

harmless.

Speaker 2: 14:59

I don't think Kinsey has. Yeah, you know. So that's why also, I just you know, I'm the stuff she mentioned but now the Twitter fights or TikTok fights, I feel like some of that probably does get malicious, does it? I don't see it. I mean I don't see what you're dealing with, but I mean, are they really trying to hit hard there, like it's not like getting the level?

Speaker 1: 15:21

right, it depends because on TikTok I'm actually starting to build a community that actually likes every post or comments and is kind of being very supportive, and they start to fight each other in my posts now, so I don't necessarily have to jump in and say anything. They will come and they will kind of get involved in the comments. For me Not on Simply Vibin there I'm still alone because I haven't really built a community there but on my own personal Christy Chanel one, yeah, I'm starting to have people that are really cool and I enjoy hanging out with on there. But yeah, no, people are scary, scary, scary and you've got to. I don't think she is. I think she just likes parody and I think that she likes to dig a little bit in a funny way and honestly I wouldn't be mad if Kenzie came back and did another one. Can you just focus more on Phoebe this time, the girl's name that you can't spell, that's what I was like I want, I mean a little attention to Kenzie.

Speaker 2: 16:22

I'm not perfect. I like I want. I mean a little attention to kenzie.

Speaker 1: 16:27

I'm not perfect. I need feedback too. What can I improve upon? I will work on my national, my nfl theme song for you. Okay, I'm gonna practice, I'm gonna get it right, I'm gonna hit those notes. I mean it won't be a whitney star spangled banner moment, but I might be able to hit the notes better so people don't have to hurt their ears. But I'm not going to do the cheerleading thing. Thanks though.

Speaker 2: 16:49

I told you, though, because he agreed with me you could be, you could, you could, you know who cares if you're old and not skinny?

Speaker 1: 16:57

That those were her words.

Speaker 2: 16:59

Phoebe, she didn't say you were old or not skinny. She just said who cares she?

Speaker 1: 17:04

didn't say you were old or not skinny. She just said who cares? You know what Okay Phoebe's email is. It is so crazy that somebody would take the time to actually write that email to me and I'm kind of flattered. I really think they should write for comedy.

Speaker 1: 17:20

But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings. These comments do hurt my feelings. I now have a new insecurity. Right, these people have created a new insecurity that I did not have before, because I keep getting this comment repeatedly.

Speaker 1: 17:38

I have these two like birthmarks by my lip, or I have one by my eye and I have these two by my lip. Well, they're just part of my face, so I don't really think about it on a regular basis. It just doesn't impact my mind and I'm not like, oh my God, I need to get them removed or oh my God, I need to cover them up. I don't really care. But people care, lots of people care, and they all want to tell me how awful it is. I mean, they're like hateful things Like what is that on your lip? Do you have herpes? And I keep hearing the same comment. So now I'm like I've been living with this pretty much my entire life and I'm wondering if every human that has come in contact with me has thought that. Has everybody thought that with me, has thought that? Has everybody thought that? I don't know? I told Lori about it and she's like, uh, I never even noticed it. So I'm like, okay, so you've known me forever and I it's just yeah. So now it's an insecurity a little bit, not so much that I'll do anything about it, but enough that I actually have it in my mind now. So can you imagine anybody that has any sort of imperfection in their face or in their body or in their voice, anything, anything how people can react and make you feel bad about it so much that you change it? Yeah, I see people doing that. I see people doing that all the time.

Speaker 1: 19:08

There's this TikToker her name is Kirby and she's so funny and so positive and she got a chin implant because anytime she turned to the side they were saying that her chin was like pushed back. She needed a chin implant and she freaking did it. She did it and the first time I saw it I'm like, how could you let people control you like that? And I get it. You just you're tired of hearing the same comment over and over again and it makes you react to it. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. So, yeah, so now I have a little bit of thought that goes into that thing by my lip, but not enough that I'm going to go get it removed or go change my life in some way. I'm not going to do that. It kind of sucks.

Speaker 1: 19:55

And then the other one I hear a lot is you're old. That one doesn't really bother me, because in fact I am 50 and that is older than a 20, in fact I am 50 and that is older than a 20, 30 or 40 year old. So I could see how you feel that way. I mean, I felt that way at 20. I thought 50 was old, you know. So how can I blame anybody else for thinking that I don't? I thank my mom. Actually I'm going to thank my mom for this. She just made me feel like I was beautiful and I was special. She gave me so much of it that now at 50 and she's been gone 25 years almost I still have that confidence. I still have that security that she gave me when I didn't know to give it to myself.

Speaker 1: 20:39

I remember when I was younger, in elementary school, I was made fun of a lot. I had this Southern accent and I was in New Jersey and I was. I was kind of like a foreign student. It almost felt like that. Because I was so different. In first grade I got made fun of. I think my one of my names that has stuck with me since I was freaking seven was Corroded Christy. That didn't really make me feel so good. Yeah, and it's because I was different.

Speaker 1: 21:07

I remember one time I think it was either third or fourth grade we had to bring in a picture of ourselves to put on the bulletin board behind us. I, I didn't want to do that and my mom was like why don't you want to bring in a picture of yourself? I was like, cause I don't want to put my face on that board, I don't want to do that. And I was like they're going to make fun of me. And she looked at me and she's like well then, we're going to pick this picture. And it had. It was a picture of me like looking in a mirror from a studio that I had gotten done with my parents. And she said do you realize? She's like I'm going to, I'm going to tell you a story about this picture that I haven't told you. I was like what? And she goes.

Speaker 1: 21:47

The photographer, after these pictures were done, called us and asked if we could use this picture, which was me looking in a mirror, as the display. And she's like that's because he can see your beauty, we can see your beauty. We think it's time for you to see your beauty and be proud to put this picture on the bulletin board. But the one line that had stuck with me so many years and I tell myself and repeat this to myself, and she's like all the little kids around you right now that are saying what they're saying it's because they don't get it yet. One day they're going to get it, they're going to see how special you are. And I put that picture on that bulletin board and I was damn proud of it.

Speaker 1: 22:29

But it's those things that she gave me. She filled me with confidence. She gave me the confidence to leave bad relationships. She gave me the confidence to realize they don't matter. And as I got older I started to realize it's about what I think and not so much about what they think. I instill those same beliefs in my kids. Not one of my kids has low self-esteem not about their appearance, not about who they are Zero. They may have low self-esteem about, maybe, trevor with his testing he has dyslexia, you know. He may have low self-esteem to feel like he's not as smart as everybody else, which is clearly not true and you know. So we we struggle in that area where I have to give him the confidence to know that. But there is not one other area that he doesn't feel like he's good enough. And my daughter, when she was growing up it was cute I'd say, oh, you were so beautiful. And she'd say, I know. But she still has that confidence today, no matter what the world says to her, she knows they don't know what they're talking about. Thank you, mom, for giving me that Love. You miss you bye.

Speaker 1: 23:38

Let's talk about haters in real life. How do you handle people that are face-to-face haters? I want to be treated like I treat you. I'm going to give out what I expect to get back and if we're not on the same level in that way, I don't need you in my life and I don't care if you're family. As a matter of fact, I have cut off family. That's a story for a whole nother day, not today. So I went and I looked up an article and I think I found a good one. This article appeared in Forbes how 10 high achievers handle haters.

Speaker 1: 24:12

Make criticism your fuel, not your kryptonite. It's all about how you frame it. If somebody says you're not smart enough, tell yourself I cannot wait to prove them wrong. Negative feedback can either be the anchor that drags you down or the wind behind your sails. This is the best line and I want you to really hear it. If you're feeling like there's some haters out there, use this line for yourself. They don't make statues of critics. They make statues of dreamers and people that take chances. Think about it. The revolutionaries who made an impact, changed the rules, ended wars and fought for freedom were the crazy ones they had to listen to. Naysayers absorb the criticism and they let that be their fuel, not their kryptonite. Take it as a compliment. Criticism is the best proof that you're bound to be wildly successful.

Speaker 1: 25:09

I learned early on that the more people badmouth you, the more jealous they are Get engagement by trolling back, which is what I do. I do the same thing. I try not to be cruel or mean, but I do hit back because it pushes my video out there further into the algorithm. What someone says reflects how they feel they are projecting on us. If someone offends me which is hard my first response is to ask myself what's the person going through? Why do they need to say something like that to make themselves feel better? Then get over it. The second you take negative comments personally, you're losing and the internet trolls are winning, but you can troll back.

Speaker 1: 25:54

Remember that successful people don't need to put others down. This was a sore subject a few years ago because I was newly sober and I didn't know how to cope with hurtful and stressful situations. As I became happier and more successful, I met incredible mentors. I remember saying to my friend Rick Caruso I've known you for years but never heard you say anything negative about anyone. He smiled and asked what would be the upside Facts. I was stunned by his response, but it was indisputable. Happy, successful people don't waste time saying negative things about other people. Why would they? Now, I empathize whenever I see negative comments about me on social media, because I know those people are suffering and in pain. Kill them with kindness.

Speaker 1: 26:43

Worrying or retaliating against your haters makes you bitter. See, that's what I'm trying not to do. I try to be funny. That's my response. I try to be funny.

Speaker 1: 26:52

It's easy to be resentful and feel justified, but don't. Instead, make a list of the haters you don't like. Wish each one of them well by name and practice sincerely forgiving them. Speak kindly about them to others. Go out of your way to help them. In time, this breaks down those barriers. Even if it doesn't, the effect on you will be resounding. While some people become jealous of your success and wish you ill will, others will look to you as an inspiration. You'll never let haters bring you down.

Speaker 1: 27:28

Be grateful. I try to be grateful for everything, but I've never tried to be grateful for the negative comments on social media. When you do big things, you'll always have haters and naysayers Knowing that is inevitable. So ask yourself how can I use haters to support my mission even more? First, understand that what we feed grows and what we starve dies. There's a saying in psychology. And what we starve dies. There's a saying in psychology if you spot it, you got it. Third, be grateful.

Speaker 1: 28:10

Hate, love, critique and praise are all acknowledgement. You're no longer ignored or unseen. You've made it to the spotlight. Where the magic happens? Are you getting hate even though you're doing good work? Good job, you've made it to the next level. That actually just made me feel so good. Oh my God, I'm so glad I read this article. I'm starting to feel better already, because when I started this it's because it was on my mind Okay, and that's. That's cool. I'm happy about this.

Speaker 1: 28:43

Take the opportunity to check in with yourself. Some of us are cursed with the natural desire to please everyone with our personal and professional choices. I've realized an important lesson no matter what you do, people will always criticize your actions when you try to achieve success. The quicker you can embrace that, the better you'll be. If everyone is happy with what you do, you probably aren't stretching yourself enough, making bold decisions or placing the big bets required to excel and reach new levels of excellence. Embrace the criticism. Uncomfortable moments are usually a sign that you're on the right track. The next time someone criticizes your choices usually a sign that you're on the right track. The next time someone criticizes your choices, ask yourself if you're being true to your personal mission and values. If the answer is yes, smile and know that you're doing the right thing. Ask whether you can learn something.

Speaker 1: 29:42

I don't believe in haters. The columnist Ann Landers is often quoted as saying at age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. Age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all. Damn, that is powerful. That is so powerful. It doesn't tell you what we're doing at 50, but I can assume we're learning that they're not thinking of us at all. I love this. I love this article.

Speaker 1: 30:15

Haters often communicate out of love or a cry for help. Hurt people, hurt people. When we tear others down, we reveal more of our true character than theirs. An attack on others only exposes our thought process, insecurities, suppressed emotions and how we judge people. If feedback has any merit, regardless of whether you consider it to be constructive, be humble and openly. Consider it with gratitude and love. If the criticism is a harsh, open attack, do not respond with a grenade. It baffles me when I see two keyboard warriors attacking one another. Online. Tempers flare, egos are damaged and no one is inspired to grow.

Speaker 1: 31:06

F Scott Fitzgerald said different opinion rather than immediately dismissing it, a discouraging word could augment your thought process Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Listen to the criticism, but don't give up. The best, most powerful advocates often start out as your toughest critics. Don't ignore critics' feedback. Listen to them and engage with them constructively. Often it's not your overall idea or position that's the issue, but perhaps you can tweak your delivery or particular point. Don't give up. After I approached one of the largest PC manufacturers in the world about creating partnership, they told me it would never work. Fast forward a few years, years and we are the largest third party partner and the partnership is growing.

Speaker 1: 32:11

Persistence, dedication and passion are key. Passion is especially important because if you aren't excited about what you're doing, no one else will be. Share small wins along the way and watch the momentum build. On that note, I'm going to do just that. I wanted to share a small victory that I had this past week.

Speaker 1: 32:35

It is a struggle on YouTube. Youtube is harder to get people to follow because it's about the video experience. Typically, you need to have the lighting. Typically, you need to have the lighting. You need to have the editing. You're putting on a show and hoping people watch it. So I feel like it's more for the creators. Yes, you can create on TikTok. Yes, instagram and Facebook, but YouTube that's the next level and I feel like it's more of the elite level. So if you can dominate YouTube. You're doing something right and either you've hired really good editors to help you put on a great video and a great show, or you're doing it yourself, which is me doing it myself. All of it the video, the editing, the show, all of it the transitions, the cutaways, the timing.

Speaker 1: 33:23

I've learned so much since I started. I started Code Green Plant in September and I started Love you, miss you Bye, in January. So I've had my YouTube channel, love you, miss you Bye, since January. I have now surpassed a hundred subscribers and I am so proud of that. I was so excited to hit that level. I'm actually at 107 today.

Speaker 1: 33:44

As I record this. I'm just extremely proud of it. Yes, it's ebbs and flows. Yes, I'm trying to figure out how the whole thing works. I seem to be doing better on my shorts, which is like under a minute. It's usually like 30 second clips that I put out there, like my average right now is at around 400, but I've gotten as high as 14,000. So having an average of 400 views is, I think, awesome.

Speaker 1: 34:11

Now my longer form videos, the videos from my podcast, can kind of go back and forth. I'm learning how the thumbnails impact the packaging of the video, which is huge. It's the thumbnail that gets you to stop, it's the title that gets you to stop, and if those two aren't good, they're never going to stop and watch your video. They're just not. So I'm learning how to do that. That's another whole element to it that I'm kind of excited about, and I think I'm getting a little bit better. Anything that is, I think, over 30 views is a success. Anything under 30 views after it's been out a month is kind of low. When I did the aging podcast, that one got 92 views, which I was extremely excited about, which means I'm getting better at my packaging of the video.

Speaker 1: 34:58

And I do get some really great people commenting and saying some really nice things. And a year ago, if I were to post a video on TikTok, I may have had over 2000 followers, but my video engagement was not there. I would get the views but not the comments or the likes, the engagement, which is really the most important part to me, because I'm trying to build a community. And now when I post a video, I may only get 250 views, which is really an average for me. I get 30 comments and maybe 15 to 30 likes. That means the people that are on my page are there because we're building a relationship, we're building a bond. That is a big difference from last year to this year. I don't think it's about how many views. I think it's about how many people want to talk about it.

Speaker 1: 35:50

Things are changing. I feel a change and I'm really excited about it. So I've set goals for myself and I'm going to put it out there so we can see how close I get to my goal. For YouTube, I'm at 107. So I would say by December 31st, which is the end of 2024, I would like to hit 300 subscribers. Got a long way to go, but I think I can do it if I stay consistent. On TikTok I have 2,375 followers. I have 2,375 followers and my goal by December 31st is to hit 3,000 followers.

Speaker 1: 36:30

I noticed that I'm seeing a lot of threes. I have threes in my goal and I wanted to look, because I like to look at the angel numbers. I've got that I believe in the universe and some spiritual stuff here and there. Let me see what threes mean, because my goals have threes in them. I pulled up cosmopolitan, so typically it's when you see repeating numbers that you can go and you can look and see what is, what is the world, what is the universe trying to tell us. Me and my daughter like to do that. We're like, oh my God, you keep seeing twos. Yeah, I keep seeing twos. So we look it up.

Speaker 1: 36:57

The angel number three, three, three holds powerful significance. The number is associated with femininity, creativity and intuition. What does the angel number three, three, three mean for my career? Angel number three, three, three shows you that you're on the way to success. Lean into your intuition and your creativity as you work towards your professional goals and trust that your skills will help you. This number might appear when you're feeling confused or stressed. Take it as a reminder that you have what it takes to reach your goals. Don't be afraid of hard work. All right, I can get with that. So if you're seeing 333, I didn't read all of it Go to the Cosmopolitan article on 333 angel number and you can on 333angel number and you can look at your love life and you can look at other things. And this is not an ad for Cosmopolitan. I wish the hell it was, because that would mean I am making money and I'm not. But I will be according to my 333 number.

Speaker 1: 37:55

I wanted to end with my appreciation for you and the fact that you show up and you listen. I did want to speak about two people that really touched me Because, as I was reading these hater comments at the same time, I think, when I was feeling my lowest, a friend from elementary school and we actually were in brownies together, claudine she texted me a voice note which said that she really liked my last episode and she shared it with two of our mutual friends, that she thought they should listen and it reminded her to reach out and tell them how much she cared. And I don't think she realized how much I needed that and it was perfect because it was like six in the morning, I was getting my coffee and that is what I needed to start my day off right. So, claudine, if you're listening to this, thank you for that. You really, you really touched me at a time where I really needed to feel like I'm headed in the right direction. I also received another DM from Tara, who I was in cheerleading with, and she reached out and she just said that she thinks that I have a really great podcast voice and keep going. And I mean I, I just it means a lot that that people care enough to reach out and give me words of encouragement. So, thank you, that's it. I just wanted to say thank you and I'll talk to you next Monday.

Speaker 1: 39:07

Have a great week and happy May. Love you, miss you Bye. L-u-m-u-b podcast Love you, miss you Bye has been brought to you by Christy Chanel LLC, but if you're looking for more information or want to follow us on social media, go check out christyschanelcom. All the podcasts are streamed there and the YouTube episodes are there, so why not? You can also listen where all podcasts are streamed. This includes Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And lastly, thank you to you. You, yeah, you the one that's listening or watching. I appreciate you so much. Love you, misha, bye.