CERN: The Top 5 Theories You Can't Ignore

What happens when one of the world's greatest scientific achievements becomes the center of some of the internet's biggest mysteries?

This week on Sassy Politics, we're diving into CERN, the Large Hadron Collider, and the five biggest theories people are talking about online.

I'm not a physicist, and I don't claim to be. I'm just really freaking curious.

In this episode, we separate the science from the speculation, explore where these theories came from, and ask why so many people are fascinated by them. From the Mandela Effect to alternate realities, we're pulling on the thread to better understand what people believe—and why.

Whether you're skeptical, convinced, or just curious, this episode is about asking better questions and thinking critically together.

In This Episode

• What CERN actually does
 • The Top 5 CERN theories circulating online
 • The science behind the Large Hadron Collider
 • Why these theories continue to spread
 • Why curiosity and critical thinking belong in the same conversation

Discussion

Which theory have you heard before?

Did any of them surprise you?

If you could ask a CERN scientist one question, what would it be?

Leave a comment. I read them all, and many of them inspire future episodes.

Disclaimer

The theories discussed in this episode are presented as topics of public discussion and internet culture. They are not presented as established fact. My goal is to explore ideas, compare them with available evidence, and encourage curiosity and critical thinking.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Wait, why did they shut down CERN for four years? Seriously, why? And what the hell is CERN? I've been seeing all over my TikTok that they're shutting down CERN for four years. Okay, great. I don't even know what that means. Do you know what that means? Maybe you do. I'm always late to the party, as I always tell you, but I don't know what that means. I started seeing all these videos on TikTok and they're asking questions like, do you feel weird? I feel sick, or I feel better, or uh I feel like we've jumped timelines. My life is different, or I've been exhausted all day. So CERN shuts off, and now everybody thinks we're jumping back into a different reality. So of course I'm gonna pay attention because you know I like a good conspiracy theory. And on this episode, I have five. I'd kind of like to know where the hell I'm headed. So I went down the rabbit hole. And I'm guessing some of you have too. And it gets weird. Like really, really weird. I'm Christy Chanel, and this is Sassy Politics. Welcome back to Sassy Politics, because the headlines are about us. Today we're talking about one of the most scientific facilities in the entire world. CERN, CERN. And why does it keep finding itself in the center of conspiracy theories? Why does it need to shut down for four years? And where do all these ideas about timeline shifting and jumping and the Mandela effects or any of this craziness that we're hearing constantly on TikTok and all social media for that matter? I'd like to know what the universe is doing right now. So let's figure it out. So first we have to ask the big question what is CERN? Because everybody I see keeps talking about it like we all should know what it is. Ah, it's not something that I've looked into before. I may be alone in that, but I have seen enough videos where I wanted to know exactly what that was. So now I know. And so will you. CERN stands for the European Organization for Nuclear Research. It's located right on the border between Switzerland and France. And apparently thousands of scientists all over the world work there. Okay, so here's where it gets a little science fiction-y. At the center of CERN, it's something they call the Large Hydron Collider or LHC, because scientists love a good acronym as well. Picture this. Somebody actually convinced the governments, all the governments, to spend billions of dollars, billions of dollars, and build an underground tunnel 17 miles long. Underground. And then once they finished building this huge tunnel, they said, and then you know what we're gonna do? Let's shoot these tiny particles. Hold on, hold on. This is the good part. We're we're gonna shoot these tiny, tiny particles around the tunnel, almost at the speed of light. And then we're gonna smash them together, obviously. Can you imagine being the person pitching that idea? And then having somebody in the room go, I love it. Yes, we need to do this. Absolutely, 100%. You know, I can't even get certain people to agree on a meeting time, much less billions of dollars on an idea. But somebody, I guess everybody, said, Yeah, let's do it. I I can't help but ask myself, oh, why why why would they want to do that? Why would anybody spend billions of dollars to smash tiny particles together? Like why? Turns out they're trying to answer the questions that humanity has been trying to ask for their, well, for forever. How did the universe begin? What is everything made of? Why do particles even have mass? Could there be particles we haven't discovered yet? Could there be forces that we don't even know exist? Basically, they're trying to understand how reality works. Which leads us to another question: the Big Bang Theory. I know, I know, not everybody agrees with the Big Bang Theory. But do we even know what it is? Some people believe the scientific explanation, and some people believe the Bible explanation. Some have completely different beliefs, not either one. And I'm not here to tell you what to believe. I'm just here trying to explain why CERN does exist, right? That's what we want to know. So that then we can start to form those ideas around it. According to the leading scientific model, the universe began about 13.8 billion years ago. And despite the name, the Big Bang Theory wasn't an explosion. And scientists don't claim to know what happened before that. They're studying what happened after that. How the universe cooled, how the stars formed, how galaxies formed, how planets formed, and eventually how you got here. So when the scientists at CERN try to smash these particles together, they're trying to recreate tiny fractions of a second that happened right after the universe began. They're not trying to recreate the Big Bang Theory. And whether you believe in the Big Bang Theory or not, this is a pretty incredible goal. Imagine waking up for work and thinking, I get to go to work and figure out how the universe works. Wow. I mean, seriously, that's pretty freaking cool. Um, I get to look at numbers on a spreadsheet. That is so wild. If that's all that CERN is actually doing, why does the internet think that they're doing something else? Like opening portals, creating black holes, changing timelines, and somehow giving us Mandela effects. But this is where things get fun. And things that I actually love. Because whether you believe the internet theories or not, it's become part of the culture. So go ahead, go get it. It's time. Put on that tinfoil hat with me. Mine has rhinestones because things are about to get weird. I love that guy on the internet that says that. Part infinity. He's so cool. Theory number one. CERN created the Mandela effect. Have you heard of the Mandela effect? Oh, I'm sure you have. But if you haven't, where have you been? Like seriously, where have you been? The Mandela Effect is when large groups of people remember a certain situation or product a certain way. But history says they're wrong. Let's play a game. The Fruit of the Loom logo. Did it have a cornucopia with the fruit, or was it just the fruit? I would have bet any amount of money that it had a cornucopia. I've actually seen pictures of it with a cornucopia. Yeah, I'm sure it did, but apparently it didn't. Okay, what about the Monopoly Man and his monocle? Remember that? I remember him having one. Do you? He doesn't. Well, according to history, he doesn't. And he never did. What about the Bernstein Bears? Because I know I didn't spend my childhood reading the Bernstein Bear. History says I did. Curious, George. Did he have a tail? You know, this one I'm not so sure, but I feel like he did. I feel like he did. Do you? Do you remember that? History says he didn't have a tail. Things are, I'm telling you, things are weird. The internet has gaslit an entire generation. Mm-hmm. Yep. Or maybe that's exactly the point. Because here is where CERN enters the conversation. A lot of people think that the Mandela effect isn't just bad memory. There's something else to it. It's leftover memory. Following me? Memory from another timeline. According to this theory, when CERN started running experiments, something shifted. Tiny little changes. Nothing dramatic, just enough for people to remember things differently. Like reality got edited. But do scientists think that's what's happening? No. Scientists will tell you that memory is weird. Our brains fill in the blanks all the time. We kind of mix memories together. We remember patterns instead of details. And that explanation makes a lot of sense. Truly, it does. But I also love the timeline theory. It's definitely a lot more fun, don't you think? I mean, tell me you haven't looked at one of those Mandela effects and thought, wait a minute, hold on. That is not how I remember it. Exactly. Theory number two. Theory number two. Alright, so this one sounds like a Netflix series. It goes something like this: every time CERN fires up the large Hydron Collider, they're not just particles smashing together. They're ripping little holes in reality. Tiny cracks, doorways, other dimensions, parallel universes, basically Marvel. Now here's what's funny. This this theory didn't completely come out of nowhere. Scientists really do study whether there could be more dimensions than the one we experience today. I mean, that's real physics. They're asking questions like could there be dimensions that we don't see? Could there be realities that exist alongside ours? Those are legitimate scientific questions. And then the internet gets involved. Because of course it did. Hello? Suddenly it became, so you're telling me they're studying other dimensions and they're smashing particles together. Yeah. Nothing bad could happen there. You can almost hear the conspiracy theories writing themselves. People started connecting everything. Deja vu. Weird dreams. Every single time CERN made the news, people would ask, did they do it again? No. Is there any evidence that they've opened a portal? No, none. But I have to admit, if somebody made a movie about that, I'd absolutely watch it. Probably twice, because it would take me that many times to even kind of sort of maybe understand what they're talking about. Even if you don't believe any of it, it's still absolutely fascinating. And the news cycle never stops. Politics already has everybody stressed out. And when the world already feels chaotic, it's not a surprise that theories like this catch on. It's just not. And sometimes it's just easier to believe that we slipped into another timeline. Although I believe it. And I don't know about you, but I definitely feel like this timeline has been exhausting. Okay, time for theory number three. This one actually made me laugh a little bit until I found out people were absolutely serious about it. Before CERN turned on the large Hydron Collider, people were asking, is it creating black holes? I mean, fair question. Like I have a clue. Clearly not. If you tell me you're about to create the biggest, most powerful machine that has ever been created, I'm probably gonna have a few questions about it. Black holes are real. They're some of the strangest things we've ever discovered. And I say we, like I was on the panel, but they would be a better pronoun for that situation. Gravity is so strong. So people started wondering if they can recreate the beginning of the universe. Could they accidentally create a black hole? And then people began to be convinced that the earth was gonna be swallowed. Just imagine planning your weekend and somebody says, Oh, by the way, scientists might accidentally destroy the planet today. I mean, that's just a lot to take in. And we know that scientists studied this long before they even turned the machine on. Their conclusion was that yes, it's possible that a small black hole could form and it would disappear instantly. No planet swallowing, no apocalypse, no giant space vacuum. Which I appreciate because I do have things to do, and I have a lot on my schedule. And the large Hydron Collider has been running for years. We've discovered they've discovered new particles, and we've all learned more about the universe because of it. And the last time I checked, we're still here. Although some days social media makes me wonder. Okay, so we've covered timelines, portals, and black holes. So now let's leave physics for a minute because the next theory has nothing to do with science and everything to do with symbolism. Theory number four. The Shiva statue means CERN is most definitely hiding something. Have you ever Googled CERN before? If you have, you see that there's this giant statue in the front. It's the statue of Shiva. Now, the second people saw it, the internet was internet and why is there a statue of a Hindu god out front of CERN? Is it symbolic? Is it a secret message? Is this proof that they're doing something that people shouldn't know about? And then somebody found an old performance video from CERN. People in costumes, music, interpretive dancing. The whole thing looked, honestly, a little creepy. Yeah, it was creepy. Completely out of context, it looked like the beginning of a horror movie. And naturally, the internet lost its mind. It's weird. It's really weird. But the statue wasn't secretly installed for some ritual. It was a diplomatic gift from India. And in Hindu philosophy, Shiva isn't just associated with destruction. Shiva also represents creation, renewal, transformation, the endless cycle of beginnings and endings. When you think about it, actually makes a lot of sense if you're trying to figure out how the universe began. So does all of that stop the conspiracy theorists? Not even a little bit. Because once people think they've found a clue, every clue starts looking connected. And I get it. I do it too. I go down the rabbit hole and I'm like, oh my God, look at this, look at that, look at that. You can't help it. We're human and we want to know why things happen and why things exist. Theory number five. CERN knows more than they're telling us. Now we reach the granddaddy of all theories. Or timelines or portals or black holes. This theory is rather simple. What happens if the scientists find out what's really going on? Would they tell us? Would they even know how to tell us? I mean, I didn't even know what CERN was. Am I gonna understand what they found if I'm not tuned in and paying attention? Would you? Or would they spend years upon years trying to understand it before they can actually explain it? That's really what this theory is about. The unknown, and just like me, a lot of us are not looking at relative theory journals, scientific journals. We're watching TikToks and saying, oh God, what's going on over there? That's what's happening. But here's the truth according to the way I know it and understand it. CERN has published an enormous amount of research. Scientists from all over the world work there. Their discoveries are debated, reviewed, and questioned. And that's literally how science works. And it shouldn't stop people from wondering. And I get it. I wonder all the time. I'm hoping that there's a reason. Why are we here? We all, as humans, hate unanswered questions. And we always have. It's why we tell stories. It's why we chase mysteries. And sometimes those mysteries turn into incredible scientific discoveries. And they lead us down some pretty entertaining rabbit holes. And every once in a while, they remind us of all the things we just we just don't even know. So, did CERN create the Mandela effects? Probably not. Did they open a portal? There's no evidence that they did. Did they accidentally create a black hole also? No, but maybe. Here's what I think. I think CERN accidentally created something else. Curiosity. Millions of people who would have never cared about particle physics. Seriously? And they're suddenly asking questions about the universe. But honestly, I think we would have asked anyway, right? We would have asked about reality, dimensions, memory, and what we know and what we don't know. And I think it's kind of cool. And by the way, my absolute favorite episodes are when we put those tinfoil hats on together. So before I go, I have one more rabbit hole for you. This one is starting to make its rounds online. I I've seen it before, but a new one just emerged. People are sharing stories about objects duplicating. One story that caught my attention was about a woman, and she had this man-made, well, her friend made it. It was a keychain with like beads on it, little small beads in different colors and very specific pattern. And she wore it on her car keys. And they were leaving a company, her friend moved out of state, so she was here. And this keychain, she would always grab in her purse to try to pull it out, and she knew that she'd found her keys whenever she found it. So it wasn't mass-produced. It was a one and only from her friend as a goodbye gift. It had faded over the years and turned white. The colors weren't as bright anymore. And then one day she reached in her purse and there was another one, not a replacement, an exact duplicate of that original keychain, handmade keychain, with different colored beads on it in the same pattern. She didn't order one, she didn't ask her friend for one, her friend lived out of state, and suddenly she had to uh I don't know, cue the the Twilight Zone music. I have no idea. But it's not the only story. There's more stories of that happening where you have the same object duplicating and you only had one to start with. Is that proof of anything though? No, it's a story. But I'm starting to see more and more of them. Things appearing where they swear they hadn't been before. I mean, there could be a perfectly ordinary explanation. I mean, I don't know, and you don't know. But I do know one thing. No, I'm going down that rabbit hole too. So if you start hearing about duplicated objects, or you've got a story of your own, send it to me. Because I have a feeling this isn't gonna be the last time we talk about it. Keep asking questions, keep thinking for yourself. And if you wake up tomorrow and there's a second set of car keys laying on the counter, maybe just maybe, don't touch them. I'll see you next Tuesday.