Self Made & Single™

THE MALE VOICE SERIES PART 1 - Finding Love from a Safe Space with Serial Entrepreneur and Youtube Guest, Jah Harris

Rachel Rose Season 1 Episode 44

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Are you ready to listen in on a conversation with a man who is ACTIVELY doing The Inner Work?

Get ready to dive into the captivating journey of Ja Harris, a true renaissance man whose talents span music, screenwriting, modeling, and even private security. Join us as we explore how his diverse skills, coupled with an entrepreneurial spirit, create a tapestry of success and inspiration. From his commitment to community to his strategic use of personality and aesthetics, Ja's story is as enlightening as it is empowering. Ironically I found Jah on this Youtube show: Ep 3: Pop The Balloon Or Find Love | With Arlette Amuli and I thought he would be great to invite on to the show.


In our conversation, we delve into the complexities of relationships in the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship. Picture navigating the intricacies of romance while both partners are driven professionals – it's a topic we tackle head-on. We discuss the importance of communication, understanding, and how an entrepreneurial mindset can actually enhance love. Through personal stories and insights, we reveal how personal growth and shared ambition can forge a strong and unique bond.

But that's not all – we also explore the influence of the stars on our emotional lives, using Ja's own astrological chart as a guide. From his Scorpio Sun to his Leo Moon, we uncover the secrets of love languages and the power of self-reflection in nurturing meaningful connections. Ja's journey towards personal growth and finding a deep connection serves as a lens through which we examine the role of astrology in our lives.

Connect with Jah
Instagram: @jah_harris7
Youtube Feature on the 'Pop The Balloon or Find Love' Show: Episode 3

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Speaker 1:

Did I give it away? Or was it persuasion? You are in my space. I, I, oh wait. I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I, I, oh wait. It's only you, was it your wish? You told me to stay. I, I, oh wait.

Speaker 2:

I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this and I'm your host. Rachel rose, we got something a little bit different for you today. I have been teasing you guys about this for a while, but we finally have some boys on the show, or I should say grown men, and not just grown men, but the high value kind you know. We couldn't have any kind of level of man on the show. So I have with us here someone who I randomly came across on YouTube. I was just having a lazy day, I think I was cleaning my apartment and I was like no, like his energy is great. He will be wonderful for the show. So who we've got with us today is Ja Harris, all the way from Arizona, from the US, just realized where that is geographically. So thank you welcome of course, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for having me appreciate you yeah, appreciate you coming as well.

Speaker 2:

I just like I said offline, I was like let me just shoot my shot. If he says no, all right, fine, whatever, but it's good to have you glad you did yeah, it's good, I think you're gonna have a lot.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's good, I think you're going to have a lot of fun Audience, like you know, when you see him, I'm sure you're going to have a lot of fun messaging him too. So you know we're going to get straight into it, because what was wonderful about you in terms of the show when I was watching it, is that you're someone who's got a lot going on for yourself. So this is a self-made and single podcast, so talk to us about all of the professional stuff that you're.

Speaker 1:

You've got going on basically. So, um, I picked up a couple of different industries in my series of work as I came up, and right now I have ventures in music. I create my own music, I have my music company, I am a screenwriter for a number of different genres, from action to children, and then I've been modeling successfully out here in the Southwest and the West Coast for about four, three or four years now, and then on top of that I do private security as well, just because that a one sector. That's really been consistent throughout the entertainment industry as well.

Speaker 2:

So it latched on do you know what I find so interesting, like offline? I had to ask you what your star sign was and all of that sounds like such gemini energy, like having so many fingers and so many pies, as we say here okay, what influences you to be so multifaceted um, I think growing up I realized that I had a number of different talents and I think that generally I had different ideas of success.

Speaker 1:

So I want to be this, so I want to be that growing up. But along the way they all came to a reality of not quite the right fit. And as I got older, in the environment that I grew up in, I realized that I felt an emphasis on being there for other people, seeing advocacy for the type of people that I saw in my community and outside of that, just doing what comes natural. Sometimes, when you're just trying to make money or trying to come up or trying to think of ways to do business, business just comes to you and if you jump in it you realize two or three years later it works out very well yeah, you know, particularly as you were saying like you wanted to serve your community, I definitely feel like if you've got a heart-led purpose, things just fall into place naturally, right, of course like star sign here we go.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I'm glad you're into the woo-woo because we're all about the here. So what I would love to ask, then, is if you already got so much going on like, what does the future look like for you, like, where do you see yourself in like five years?

Speaker 1:

So right now, what I'm using to mainly catapult the other platforms of my business is using my personality as I'm doing here, is using my personality as I'm doing here and using the face as a way to open the package towards my other forms of art. My screenwriting is what I want to retire my company with and retire members of my family with. Music is something that allows me a large outreach to people in my generation and younger and the personality and the looks they kind of just they work for themselves in the humblest way possible.

Speaker 1:

So, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2:

You've got to own it like if you know you're attracted you have to.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you do, you do. I have a hard time sounding humble as I am, as humble as I am, so well, this is one thing I watch out for.

Speaker 2:

I felt like on this show I was like he's confident, like he's. It's a healthy balance. You know, it's not cockiness and I think that's what a lot of women are really looking for. You know they want someone who, like I always say to my clients well, you want someone who you know in the mirror, if he's having a good day, he's like do you know what? I'm fine, it's like you want that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, of course, of course, yeah.

Speaker 2:

We no, but it's good because you know, I feel, um, you know you could also get someone who is all about you as well, but you don't want to have to be. You want your compliments for a guy to be an addition, not be the basis of his self-worth. You know, of course, of course, yeah, great, okay. So you're super busy. Love that you had time to to be here. What is on the horizon for you, like? What are you planning in the immediate future, professional wise?

Speaker 1:

um. So this year, I think the first half is going to be an uh, yeah, let's say an emphasis on um the visual part of my music. So I have things that I'm releasing throughout the first two quarters and then after that I'm going to take those visuals and kind of place them towards I don't want to say crowdfunding, but there's a couple of people that I've been thinking about and talking to investing in and investing with. Outside of that, I think I'm going to go into agency for my literary works this year and find a new way to publish those new platforms for those so exciting and possibly even getting on set at the end of this year as well, nice.

Speaker 2:

Is this just a typical American thing? The more Americans I speak to, the more I'm hearing yeah, I've just got 101 things on the go. It's just normal.

Speaker 1:

It is. I think what I'm about to say applies to everybody. But I think it's easier out here, but it's hard out here right now and it's I want to say more. So it's not just that it's everything and publish everything. It just makes it easier to have an independent platform and when you have that, it's like, well, yeah, I do this nine to five, but you know, I really come home and I love doing this and people would actually watch it. You know your friends encourage you or you know you might find encouragement in watching your talents be similar in others.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

So I feel like that's mainly what in America, where entertainment is just so big, the entertainment industry is just so large that it just makes it easy to say well, I know how to do it, because so-and-so down the block does it, or so-and-so from high school did it, and look where she's at now.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, it's funny you say that because I've got a friend who lives in California. No, go for it.

Speaker 2:

Um, she lives in California and I think she said Kendrick Lamar lives up the street and I said, excuse me, exactly exactly what and there's me freaking out type of motivation yeah, and she's just like, yeah, it's just Kendrick's, like it's not just Kendrick at all, but yeah, no, I see that and I and that's, I think, one of the awesome things about America. It's like it's so all of your entertainment is so mainstream, like, um, you know, some of us, even over in the uk, our accents are particularly okay. Do you know what I'll say? London is? Our accents aren't 100 pure, because we are so influenced by your entertainment from american entertainment, american. So we have twangs, we have weird twangs. You'd be surprised people in scotland sound quite american sometimes and it's it's bizarre because their accent is hard enough you know it's funny.

Speaker 1:

I consume some of the. I consume some of the culture over there. I watch some of the, the content over there but uk or scotland uk okay. And more so, more so. London obviously yeah.

Speaker 2:

What do you? Consume?

Speaker 1:

Let's see A lot of the music, okay, a lot of the music. I know, like I said. I know, like I said earlier, I know a couple of producers out there and I think a good majority of us know Top Boy.

Speaker 2:

I was. I was like, should I mention Top Boy or not?

Speaker 1:

No, of course. Yeah, I've been watching since, I think, the end of season one or the beginning of season two. I'm not caught up. No, I haven't. I haven't been watching TV, haven't had time. I know I haven't had time.

Speaker 2:

I think there's three seasons even there is.

Speaker 1:

I know I haven't watched the latest one oh you, you've got to get on it.

Speaker 2:

It's so different from anything like I personally didn't want top boy when it was like I, that's just the thing for me. Like I don't know if you resonate, but it when everyone's like hyping on something, I'm like yep, exactly yeah no.

Speaker 1:

I'll check it out later right right, right, once I see it winning awards, I'm like okay, everybody's kind of chilling out on it.

Speaker 2:

Now I'm like, all right, maybe I got time to watch it exactly because then you get to appreciate like your own take of the characters. I feel like when it's hyped, yes, already influence you and like that. But season three, you'll love season three. I am not um, what's the word? Endorsed or sponsored by top boy, just caveat that.

Speaker 1:

But it was really. Yeah, you don't have to convince me, I already know yeah, it's very, very good.

Speaker 2:

So, um, you know, just back to how busy you are. Like, where does that hustle culture come from? Like, where do you feel? Like in your life you develop that?

Speaker 1:

um, you know what? I'll be 100 percent honest just for me and my story Growing up in the areas that I grew up in. You don't have every opportunity, so you learn to appreciate finding what works for you. You always get in where you fit in and then at one point, when I got somewhere and I would find myself comfortable I think some people are just destined or some people just read signs Well, when I get into a situation and I find myself comfortable and then things go awry, I start to wonder or invest in where I could be going further from here, or invest in where I could be going further from here.

Speaker 1:

Right Outside of that, when I'm placed in certain situations where I realize that everybody's got something going. But me, like, if you go to Hollywood or you go to New York or you go to Atlanta or you go to certain cities in in major states and you see the, the hustle culture that they have and what they're doing, it's always inspirational, you know, and you can always add some type of other uh component to your utility kit nice, I think as well, like you know.

Speaker 2:

Obviously, we know how vast america is. You do get that right. You don't have to go far to be inspired, which is awesome. So, um right, so we know, we know you're a badass in terms of all the things that you've been doing. What about love? You knew this was coming right right right love. You know what do you have the time.

Speaker 1:

You know where does love fit into your life so for me right now, the short answer is I make time to go on dates, I make time to go on dates, I make time to catch up, I make time to have conversations, but right now, a lot of my emphasis is on business. And until business has, when business doesn't have a consistent schedule, you don't have a consistent schedule. So it's very hard to collaborate with someone who may everyone who may even so have that same schedule or that same dilemma, or has a more consistent schedule that doesn't align or is not flexible. Right.

Speaker 2:

so, right now, just going out having combos getting to know each other type stuff it's interesting you mentioned that, because I've had so many women on the show say that their success brings them the busyness it can bring inconsistency sometimes. They're all over the globe and they're struggling to find men who are a replica of themselves. So you know, when you do come across a woman who was just as busy as you like, it's interesting that you said you know that does, that does come into your existence. That is your experience. Are you happier with those kinds of women who are just as busy as you?

Speaker 1:

are I don't. I don't want to say that I'm happier, I I want to say at this point of my romantic life that I've realized what I can and can't work with, what I can and can't tolerate, and so I can have a relationship or I can have communication with a woman who's never even the same state as me and yet she's based here. Woman who's never even the same state as me and yet she's based here, and so we'll have conversations at different point in times of the day, on one day versus another day of the week. Um, and getting together and actually doing things together might be very infrequent, um, and depending on how we communicate and what we expect from each other, that that's okay. It may very well be someone who has the same schedule every day and can consistently talk from this point in time and if I miss this window, then we got to try again tomorrow and like that's understandable as well. I think it just comes down to where you're both at as far as your expectations of what stage you're in.

Speaker 1:

And right now I find myself around women who are just as busy and just as motivated, so it it's not too uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:

It's inconvenient sometimes, but it's not too uncomfortable yeah, and I think you touched on a point about, like it's about the dynamic of the relationship. So if you've got a really deep soul connection with someone, then all of that doesn't weigh as much as, um, the busyness doesn't weigh as much as the busyness doesn't weigh as much as if you're not really a hundred percent connecting with someone, like you're okay with that, and I think what's interesting about that is it takes two people who are very busy but who are very sure of themselves and are okay with the uncertainty. And I think you only get that kind of confidence with uncertainty when you're an entrepreneur.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, yeah, I believe that as well, I think, because some of the times when I've had these relationships, we're still very much trying to get to know each other. Some of these relationships have been a year in and this is how it's been and it's casual. And some of these relationships are we just bumped into each other by happenstance last month and we're just trying to figure out how it works. It's been fairly feasible in both of those scenarios Sometimes it works and sometimes it really does not.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so you know, I know in your form we were talking about, like titles, and you did reference, you know, creating this safe space, which I really love, so talk to us about that and you know where where that fits in so right now, where I'm at, I've been through some romantic ordeals that have allowed me to realize where I falter.

Speaker 1:

Like how I mentioned, we were talking about things like anger management and acknowledgement and what's the word I'm looking for Accountability, okay, I was going to say I can't help you, my brain's dead.

Speaker 1:

So when I had situations in my past romantic relationships that forced me to deal with that in a traumatic or tumultuous way, those relationships often did not serve more of a purpose than getting me where I'm going. Sometimes those relationships, when you look back, were great memories, great lessons, and they were objectively a vessel that brought me towards what was next right. And so where I'm at now, the last several romantic ordeals I've had over the last several years have led me to a place where I know myself pretty well. I know that I'm still growing and learning. I feel better about myself and what I have to offer, and I, very much so, know what I want and know how to feel comfortable erecting my boundaries and my barriers right. So that's the safe space that's carved out from the chaos of how relationships can get sometimes okay, right, so two questions, or I guess it's one question, or maybe it's two, but, um, what do two different directions?

Speaker 1:

It depends on what type of relationship that we are going to embody, and I feel like where I'm at right now, as far as I understand my connections with women that I've had. You can have a more traditional structure. You can have something that's more modern, as far as what we all discuss on a day-to-day basis on social media and in the coffee shops about what a modern relationship is, and then there's a hybrid of both, depending on how you guys mesh in the chemistry and compatibility that you guys have. Depending on how you guys mesh in the chemistry and compatibility that you guys have. So, depending on the structure of the relationship, I know confidently that I'm a man that offers leadership, that accepts change and accepts support and accepts criticism, criticism, right. All those things are important, especially when you value a woman's intuition and the woo-woo, right. So, uh, um, emotionability is really important because a lot of people don't know what they're feeling.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people don't realize how to share or express what they're feeling. A lot of people don't know what they're feeling. A lot of people don't realize how to share or express what they're feeling. A lot of people lack empathy and, on top of that, a lot of people can't look at their partner and understand what the general vibe is. That's all very important when you are not only partnering with somebody leading somebody but also caring for someone. Partnering with somebody leading somebody, but also caring for someone.

Speaker 1:

Of course, I'm intelligent as well and that comes with benefits to myself and those who I care about and those who are with me, and I feel like, with what I believe about equal rights, women's rights, human rights, that you have to create an environment that feels acceptable for your partner to grow into themselves, and that comes with flaws, that comes with errors, that comes with flaws, that comes with errors, that comes with uncertainty. But I think all of those things together are just the basis of what can create a true lifelong relationship. Right, that's just the start. So those things fall into every single one of those structures and then from there we specialize Okay, or I specialize right, okay, and then I'll get right into the next one and then you didn't tell me what you were looking for in a woman, though.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, I'll get right into the next one.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that's it. Okay, I thought you were trying to dodge me no, no. That was a very good answer.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. I'll go into what I definitely definitely desire, okay, and that is intellect and intellect and or wisdom. Intellect and intellect and or wisdom because you can find somebody who has had the time to gain wisdom and has a lot to offer, and you can find someone who may be on your level or younger or slightly older, who has the intellect to see things differently and have insight right. That leads to meaningful conversations, that leads to constructive support, that leads to so many different facets, because the type of person that I also look for is I don't want me and my partner to be a monolith. I don't want us to be uniform, I want us to be complementary, and so if that means that all of our emotions and our identity together is spread across the spectrum, I feel like that's more beneficial in numerous scenarios, or in more scenarios, right.

Speaker 1:

I see myself more so as a jack of all trades, a master of none, but still better than a master of one Right. And so I want someone who can look at things differently and convey that to me so that I can get better, and then I can also interpret what I'm saying in a deeper meaning, to better value their life. Outside of that I'll be honest with you. I'll be completely, completely candid. I am a bit shallow. I am a bit shallow, so I do Go ahead.

Speaker 2:

No, no, no. I was going to just, you know, give you a bit of a way out here, because on this show, women do talk about the physical attributes. They are just important, because as women, we're taught like, oh no, we just have to pick nice people. It's like, no, no, we want a sexy partner, we want someone. We look at them and we're like, oh god, man, I'm really lucky to be with them, and vice versa. It's all important. So I'll give you that and then let's hear your list.

Speaker 1:

I'm really big into magnetism, so, like, like just the, the, the base feeling or effect you get when you see somebody. Um, as far as a particular type, I don't necessarily say that I have one. Um, they asked me that for the show as well, and I would say that after being on the show still, I would probably say my only thing is I would prefer taller. That's, that's really the only thing. There's no specific color that I prefer. No, no, no, no, no, so, and so in a it. So the example for the show, for people who haven't seen it um, you line up and so when you line up, you see everyone standing there. You see exactly what they're wearing, what complexion they are, what their height is and if it's a choice and if I'm going for what I desire, typically I imagine it would be taller. So what I would say? But this is the thing. I've dated from 5'2 to, I think. Well, I've dated from 5'2 to 5'10, I want to say Okay.

Speaker 2:

How tall are you, I'm 6'2.

Speaker 1:

Just under 6'2,. Actually, I'll be completely honest, I'm shy'2".

Speaker 2:

just under 6'2" actually, I'll be completely honest.

Speaker 1:

I'm shy of the illusion.

Speaker 2:

When you say you prefer a bit taller, are we talking between 5'7 and 5'10".

Speaker 1:

Between 5'7 and 5'8 is cool. That's good. That's good.

Speaker 2:

Any reason why?

Speaker 1:

I think you know what, me being almost six two five two is a foot shorter than me, and that was one of my serious relationships at one point. So it's not. It's not a determining factor, it's not a deal breaker um, but you did have back problems honestly, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I you know, and and maybe it's my influence of being in the modeling industry for so long as well, I'm not entirely sure. I just imagine. Oh well, and also, you think about your kids, right? If my kids want to play sports, I want them to play sports, but that's just the shallow side of it again. Uh, it's. What's most important is the beauty, the facial features, how well you dress, you know, how well you put yourself together. Those are things that I, as a man, can't teach you as a woman to do. I can compliment you, I can tell you what I like, but I can't wake you up every day and and put you together, you know.

Speaker 2:

So that's way more important you know, like, and please spread the word that that's fine. I think, um, it's just, it's just not genuine. I think when people like I don't want to talk about this, I really push women to be like no, let us know what you want. You know, let us know, because the attraction part you know in. In my history I have been with people who, as soon as I look at them, I'm not like, okay, you know, physically I'm really attracted to you, um, and it does come back. You know I'm not saying, okay, you know, physically I'm really attracted to you and it does come back. You know, I'm not saying that that was the reason why you end the relationship, but that same thing that you knew in the beginning wasn't there. You know if it will come back and you're like, okay, do you know what I?

Speaker 1:

need to be that applies. That applies to the aesthetics and the emotional side too.

Speaker 2:

That too.

Speaker 1:

And people have to accept that part and parcel exactly, exactly.

Speaker 2:

And you know, I'm just, I'm here to break that paradigm of women. Just you know they should, particularly after a certain age. You should be so lucky you have a nice guy.

Speaker 1:

No, we're not going to create that, yeah because, then, that that causes people to confuse the purpose of your relationships. You find people that aren't specifically for you romantically for one reason or the other, that you can very well have a meaningful platonic relationship with that person or a business relationship with that person. If you guys have some type of chemistry, then that means that you guys can explore the different natures that your relationship has to offer and move on with what's supposed to be purposed for you and what you deserve.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Yeah, I'm all for that, all for that. And yeah, I believe we're moving into a way of thinking that we're getting less, less apologetic about that, I think on both sides as well. Yeah, men, you know, we're we're looking at you as the examples when it comes to there are men who, you know, may be less physically attracted to other women and they don't care. They're like I want a beautiful woman. So it's all about women really owning that as well. Let's like deprogram from a lot of the teachings that we've been having to carry over.

Speaker 2:

But, do you know what?

Speaker 1:

You can't stigmatize what you deserve.

Speaker 2:

That's it. You know what's wrong with your desire. There can't stigmatize what you deserve. That's it. You know what's wrong with your desire. There's nothing wrong with it, um, and you know, actually I've been working quite recently with someone who, uh, really wants someone who's educated to a certain level, and it was wonderful, like seeing that breakthrough with her, because it was just like, wow, okay, you know, this is okay and it's like, of course it's okay. It's just it's it's our decision whether we make it good or bad you know, but it's not any good or bad, it's just a characteristic.

Speaker 2:

And then when people say that something is good or bad, it's definitely based on, you know, their own experience, like their own feelings for themselves.

Speaker 1:

Or cultural norms or whatever they subscribe to Exactly.

Speaker 1:

I will say one thing, though like even with a man, even me being a man who adamantly goes after my desires I am not omnipotent, I'm not omniscient.

Speaker 1:

So when there are situations where I have to realize that I'm not working hard enough to go after the things that I feel like I deserve, I have to realize that I'm not working hard enough to go after the things that I feel like I deserve, I have to take accountability for that, and I feel like men and women need to have that conversation. And then also, when we get to the woo side of it, when I realize that there's something in my life that's supposed to be there, because it's not going anywhere and it's kind of stuck there, I have to accept that sometimes there are things in my life that I'm meant to experience. They may not be my ideal or my perfect illustration, and as long as I go through those things with the idea that I'm doing what's best for me and that this is an experience that is meant to be had, um, they generally end in a good way, in a constructive manner. So, but you got to take that time too so how are you?

Speaker 2:

are we talking crystals? Are we talking tarot?

Speaker 1:

um, I will say this I am intelligent enough to explore and investigate anything. Okay, so, um, I I my crystal connections. My crystal collection isn't what it once was. Um, I know my charts. I haven't done any cards just because I haven't really had the time when, I have, like, everything in the last couple of years has been a lot of inner work, a lot of shadow work, but independently, and so um, um, as soon as I got out of what was internal, I got right to business and I haven't really had a chance to explore outwardly um what I want or what I feel with an external locus.

Speaker 1:

Right, I want to.

Speaker 2:

I want to investigate more so if you met a woman who was like really into the woo, like you would be open to seeing what her world was.

Speaker 1:

What's the? What's the? What's the word, what's the? The occult and the esoteric?

Speaker 2:

yes, of course, yeah okay, you hear that, ladies.

Speaker 2:

I'm, I'm more spiritual than anything got you and you know you brought up conversations between men, women. Um, you know, just to wrap up, like unfortunately can't kidnap you forever, but just to wrap up this show, um, I think a really key question that I'm sure so many ladies listening would love to ask too. I love asking my two for one questions um, what is, what is one thing, first of all, that you wish, uh, women knew about men? That could be something that you believe in, something that you, it's the general desire. And then, what is something that you wish? Uh, god, I've lost the second one. What's right, let's start with that. I've lost the second one. What's that? Let's start with that one. Maybe I remember the second one, but it was on that, like arena, rachel, it was okay. What do you want? What did I ask?

Speaker 1:

you, it's late. What is something that I think women should know about men?

Speaker 2:

About men and what is yeah, yeah. And the other one is what is one thing you would like to know about women? That is a bit of a mystery for men. Done?

Speaker 1:

I got my brain back well, that second one's tough, okay, um, I think that women.

Speaker 1:

I think that it would help women, or I think that it would help a lot of women, to understand that a lot of men don't know what type of support they're looking for. You can say what the next man desires. You can say what traditional or cultural norms have become. You can have an idea of what you think support is for you, but if we're all people that are constantly growing and constantly changing and constantly evolving, a lot of men are not aware of what will really get them to the next level. They can say, well, make them feel good, and I think you know what.

Speaker 1:

I think this applies for everybody, I mean, but specifically for men who are meant to, in certain structures, have a role that is imperative to everybody's safety or everybody's goodwill, everybody's shelter or everybody's supplies whatever you want to say that they have to either realize what puts them in a position of success or understand where the people around them can help them fulfill that role. I think a lot of men ask for things that they don't realize are not necessarily superficial or superfluous, but it's not paramount, it's not the most important thing that you need, I think, a man with the right type of support can flourish to be the right type of leader or the right type of authority figure or the right type of provider.

Speaker 2:

That's the word I was fishing for so are you saying from a way, from a place of they can aspire to be that type of provider if they have the right relationship, they've got the right woman in their corner and they need to look from that lens of what they're looking for. Rather than I won't be, I have this desire, not sure why that's going to be how that's going to contribute to my success.

Speaker 1:

A lot of men think that, well, if you fulfill this specific role, then I'll be able to do what I need to do, and that's just how it's supposed to work.

Speaker 1:

And what a lot of men don't realize is that all men aren't the same.

Speaker 1:

We don't need the same things when we wake up or when we come home, and I think subscribing to an idea that people generally have is okay to a certain degree, but you shouldn't base your necessities of a relationship off of that. You with one woman is going to be completely different in need than you with another woman, and I'm not saying that you should necessarily support him in everything that he does until he can better himself. And I'm not necessarily saying that you should come and support him financially or emotionally or physically or spiritually, but it may be one of those facets that helps him hit the next level. And if you have the right man, assets, that helps him hit the next level. And if you have the right man, when your man hits the next level, everybody's coming up with him Right. And also, when you're supporting somebody, realize whether they're ready as well, because I have to look back and realize there were some times where I wasn't ready for the support that I was getting, and that was the realization that I grew from afterwards.

Speaker 2:

Wow.

Speaker 1:

Right. So as a supporter, that's very important.

Speaker 2:

Nice Gosh, good answer. So what about on the other side? What's one thing.

Speaker 1:

Here comes the 45-minute segment of the video. Oh no.

Speaker 2:

Are there really that many things, or is that you're like what's the one? No, it's, what is? What do I want to ask basically?

Speaker 1:

I think I've learned a lot in the last couple years. I think I've, except that there's a lot that I don't know um we like that as a collective um, I the number one question and you know what I'm gonna. I'm gonna amend your question a little. You know what I'm going to. I'm going to amend your question a little bit, Forgive me.

Speaker 2:

I think that's cheap.

Speaker 1:

But hear me out first and then we'll see if I have to answer them both. Okay, um, so the number one question that I cause now I'm losing it, the number one question that I have, um, when I'm getting to know a woman that I'm losing it, the number one question that I have when I'm getting to know a woman that I'm romantically interested in is what is the nature of communication that allows you to reciprocate best?

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Cause I'm not going to lie to you Everybody, and I mean everybody, tells me that I come off the wrong way, often all the time, like that's been. The biggest burden of my life is being charismatic, but the vocabulary and vernacular and, I guess, the nature that some of the words that I use come across when I'm really intent on being there for somebody. So I've had to realize and accept that in a lot of situations where I was emotional and very serious about being intimate with this person and understanding this person and communicating with this person, I still had to accept that there was a vast unknown of where this person opens up at and where this person feels comfortable saying this, because women they speak. They may not speak to you, but there's somebody that they're talking to. Whether if they're just solo alone, shadowboxing this conversation, or if they're talking to their mom or their friends or their family or a random stranger or a podcast, the conversation is being had and what is the nature of communication that opens up that conversation?

Speaker 2:

Wow, right, I think that's really beautiful, you know, because that is one of the biggest things that a lot of women feel very misunderstood about, and I'm guilty, the I'm guilty. You were learning, we're all learning, you know it's. We're still in school, um, but I, that is the common thing, you know, it's the communication, it's the common thing. That's a big desire, desire for women. It's a common thing. That breaks down relationships. Um, and I love how honest you were about actually, you know how I'm feeling and how I want to show up sometimes, or at least in the past, didn't correlate, because that is a huge experience for women, you know, oh my god, he doesn't even care, oh he just one line yeah, I, and I'll be honest, I'll even share.

Speaker 1:

I had a woman that I really cared about, that we weren't working and I was trying my best to figure it out, and one of her reasons was that I just didn't allow enough light into her life.

Speaker 2:

From what perspective?

Speaker 1:

I think it was. I think it was not, because this was years ago, before I really got in tune with love languages, but I think it was not just words of affirmation. I think it was the nature at which she felt welcome in conversations with me and in those conversations I had things to offer, but the way that it was conveyed through conversation, but the way that it was conveyed through conversation, it was just blocked on her end. So, even though there's warm and fuzzy feelings over here, if it's not getting through, it's not getting through.

Speaker 2:

So you know, because I read charts and I know you said you knew your chart, because I think you're going to be a concoction of things just off the back of what you've just said. You won't get it Right. Well, so you're a sun, be a concoction of things just off the back of what you've just said, so you won't get it all right. Well, so your sun sign, scorpio. What's your moon, leo?

Speaker 1:

okay, right let's keep going, and then your social.

Speaker 2:

What's not your social? But I call it the social cloak.

Speaker 1:

But it's your rising sign, sagittarius god, yeah, I know, I know I don't know how I live. I know it. I told you before we started the podcast. It took a lot of work for me to be a good person. I learned a lot so all right.

Speaker 2:

So do you know your Venus?

Speaker 1:

that's really important. Um, let me see if I can. I'm still on camera, right?

Speaker 2:

yeah, yeah, yeah okay wow, leo, that's a lot of swinging of energy and emotion.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it is.

Speaker 2:

Fortunately I'm still on camera no, now you're gone, but it's okay here we are alright, you got it sun sign Scorpio.

Speaker 1:

Moon sign Leo rising Sagittarius. Mercury is Sagittarius.

Speaker 2:

Venus is Capricorn oh, that's, let me tell you now, that's where. That's where it is. You know, that's where it is. Um, where the disconnect of how you're showing up it, not always, of course, but just in the scenario we were talking about. That's where it is because venus and capricorn, that's not a very natural formula interesting.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna go look at it again yeah, capricorn is very practical um, you know, looks at love. It's interesting because, like your son, is in scorpio, which is such an intense energy and it's it's quite a powerful um sign, no matter where it is in the placement. My venus is in scorpio and it's funny when you were like, actually I've had to really work on myself, so have I. You know, I used to have very like intense feelings about relationships, wherever they lasted one day or 10 years, it doesn't matter, and that needed work. You know, where does you know? You have to find balance, and not everyone is the love of yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

We're still learning that every day, aren't we?

Speaker 2:

yes, yeah, yeah. So yeah, have a look at that. Let me know what comes up, because there are some people who have like suggestions of what would be the best combination.

Speaker 1:

I think with, with what I have, with what you said. I think that's correct for me because I approach everything from a spiritual and emotional standpoint first, but I think from there. I then try to put it into a formula and components and certain things that make sense. So I might be very analytical, emotionally right yeah or I might be very formulaic emotionally. That makes sense.

Speaker 2:

I can see that but you know, once a woman does crack your code, you're super loyal, like you're, like you said, like you want to lead, like that's so. Venus in Capricorn yeah, oh, this was so good. Okay, so are you single? Yes, okay, are you looking? Yes and are you happy for anyone in the audience to approach you? Of course, go ladies, go my pleasure, yeah, so where can they find you? Where do you live on social media?

Speaker 1:

um, right now I am just on instagram, um, so that's jah, jah, underscore harris h-a-r-r-i-s and the number seven, and then that has links for my music, that has my contact for my work, email, things like that. So whatever makes you more comfortable, I'm fine with yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, ladies, get creative, because he's already told me he's popular already from his internet. Debut probably not debut, but like it's youtube, so get creative he's a lovely guy, great energy, honestly, um, and it was a pleasure to have you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.