How Blending Life And Business Builds A Truer You

What if your biggest challenges are the raw material for a truer life? We sit down with coach and spiritual leader Kristan Swan to explore how aligning who you are with what you build can turn pressure into purpose and bring real ease back into your days.

Kristan traces her path from business strategist to whole‑person mentor, revealing why separating “work” and “life” often blocks momentum. We talk about defining success in plain words, the practical steps to align actions with values, and why clients follow people first. You’ll hear how inviting your full self into your business attracts right‑fit opportunities and makes the hard parts more meaningful.

Relationships take center stage as we unpack the traits of great friends—humor, respect, low‑maintenance trust—and the reality that some bonds shift as we grow. Kristan shares a tender shift with family: releasing old expectations, loving people at their current capacity, and finding peace in acceptance. From there, we pivot to the mindset traps that keep us stuck. Instead of looping on problems, Kristan zooms out to the bigger intention—connection, learning, shared respect, and then returns to the next small step that moves things forward.

We also tackle a surprising truth: many of us fear success more than failure because success demands change. Kristan’s antidote is presence over future‑tripping. Define the outcome you want, take one doable action, and let each step teach you. Hope, she says, begins with this simple fact: you woke up today. You can write a fresh page.

If you’re ready to blend life and work with integrity, make kinder choices in your relationships, and choose solutions over spirals, this conversation offers tools, perspective, and permission to begin. Share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to tell us the first tiny step you’re taking today.

More on Kristan at her website https://kristanswan.com/

Thank You for Listening!

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Transcript

Welcome And Purpose Of The Show

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Good day, everyone. This is Nicole Ellis McGregor. I'm the founder of the Overcomer's Approach Podcast. This podcast was created to help people navigate through life's challenges, to move from victim to victor, to move, make our challenges can empower us. Obstacles that are come that come our way can help build us. And so the overcomer's approach is really established to help people, to be a guide, to be a tool, to let people know that no matter what you're going through, there's almost nothing that we cannot overcome with the right tools, support, connections, mentors, coaches that come along to help us lead the way. And I'm so happy that I have Kristen Swann here. She has a master's in education. She is a business coach, turn life and spiritual guide devoted to helping people come home to themselves. After years of spending guiding entrepreneurs and leaders to build successful businesses, she now uses that same strategic insight to help people build lives that they feel deeply aligned with who they are. Kristen's work to explore her deepest truths, questions that beliefs that you have inherited and reconnect with the inner wisdom you may have been taught to ignore. She believes that curiosity is one of the most powerful tools we have. Completely agree with that 100%. Her approach is honest and deeply human. And she doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she offers hard-won wisdom, thoughtful questions, and practical tools to help you discover on your own, teach a person how to fish and they could fish. I love that. Um, Kristen's mission is simple yet profound to help you see that your story is still being written and to give you courage and creativity to write it with purpose. Kristen, welcome to the podcast today. I am so pleased to have you here today.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Well, Nicole, thank you so much. You can tell. I'm sorry for interrupting you. I'm just so excited to be here myself. I know. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Tell me through all that you've gone through. I know that you've helped on entrepreneurs, businesses, and you know, have transitioned that to actually support people. Tell me where where did that spark come within you to even get that started? Like what was the source of that? What what was the pivot? What inspired you to do that? Yes.

Blending Personal And Business Success

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Yeah. Well, a couple of things. Um, so just to, you know, yeah give you a little bit of context, yeah, really my journey around becoming a business coach was after having my own businesses for many, many years and really realizing that so much of my my professional journey, which has been very twisty and turny with all sorts of seemingly really unrelated fields, and coming to the place where I recognize that the thing that matters most to me are the people that I'm meeting and connecting with. And also I love supporting people in their success. Yes. And so much of what I when I was business coaching, it was primarily with independent business owners. So people that, you know, were kind of deep in it. And oftentimes, I mean, there was there was a uh imaginary division between our personal and professional lives, right? That I think that we all were trying to manage for so long. But what I what I knew from my own, having had a business myself, several businesses, you know, if if I'm if it's my business, so much of who I am and how I'm showing up may be influenced by what is going on in my life, right? So I need to be taking care of all of those pieces. And it's really kind of a disservice to try to kind of cleave the two, right? So, really, my approach with my business owners was to weave the two parts, right? And and bring bring kind of more of a wholeness to their both their business life and their their personal life. And so it was kind of, I mean, one of the first things that I would do is I would say, okay, so you know, this is your business.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

What is your definition of success? Yes. What is what does it look like for you? Because I think it is going to look a little different for every single person. And if we are, I think a lot of times we can kind of try to assume other people's definitions um of success. And and that really is a disservice to us. So that was kind of my starting place. And and from there, it was really easy to to pivot towards working with the general population and saying, gosh, let's just what what is our what is kind of a life of meaning and purpose look like for each of us?

Why Clients Choose People First

SPEAKER_03 5:25

Yeah. I, you know, I love the fact that you said that uh being a business owner, entrepreneur, and your personal life, some people try to separate the two, but they're definitely closely aligned. I truly believe that. And the more that we're aware of that, I mean, I I think it just comes out in the business, you know, it comes out in. I think too, you said you would ask people what does the business mean to them? Like what is their definition of success? I think because it's their business, it's their goals. And I find that a lot of people sometimes will just go to the business more towards the person, and then the product or the services is a byproduct of that. They're going to the person.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Oh my gosh, absolutely. I mean, so often think about how all of us make choices of you know, which restaurant to go to, right? Or which, you know, which, you know, plumber or sir, you know, all the different because I mean, we're going essentially because we are it, it there's a connection, right? That on a human level that we're feeling.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Right. And so that's exactly to your point of, yeah, bring it bring yourself into your business. And I know for myself when I was able to make that connection and that shift, um, I was I was having much more fun, number one, in my business. I mean, I'm not saying it still wasn't hard because having your own business is super hard. But I was, I, it was a lot more fun, and I actually was doing better. I was, you know, I was attracting the clients that were the right clients for me. Yes.

The Power Of Real Friendship

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Yes, I would agree. Uh, and you like you said, attracting the right client, that's really a sign too that you're supposed to be connected with that you're gonna get the the best experience from from both sides. So I think that is key and that's important. Um, and I also think as people go through that, um, I think the circle or the friends that they have in in their lives is key. It's really important.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

What do you think as people go through businesses or go through a personal experience, whether both, how do you how important do you think of having a good friend or friends there with them? How important is that? And what what is the definition of a good friend? I should say, first.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Oh gosh, I I agree with you. Yes, I think that having you know good people along with you is uh along this this journey of life is is so important. And you know, for me, a a real a real hallmark of a good friend is I I mean I love someone who has a sense of humor.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I so I think that that is so so important. And that's not to say that that's not someone who is, you know, always goofing around or whatever, but I mean, gosh, sometimes in the hardest moments, right? Just the ability to to laugh is is kind of just huh, you know, takes that that the the weight of the world off your shoulders. And so I think that really um, you know, I think about I just had a great conversation this morning with a dear friend, and and we we live in the same town, we don't get to see each other that much because she's kind of at a little bit of a different life stage than I am. Her kids are still much younger, and so we just, you know, and I I think that's the other thing in terms of our friendship is not only she completely makes me laugh, um, but she's also I think of the the good friends in my life because I've you know I've moved a bit and and are those friends that I we are confident enough in how we that we care about each other that if some time goes by, yes, it doesn't create this this friction or division. It just we we completely respect like you got stuff going on, you're busy, you're working, you've got family, you know, I do, and and then we're gonna make the most of the time that we have together. So there's just there's kind of there's that that respect and also that support. And I mean, I have I am so lucky to have a real and I don't have siblings, so my friends are I feel like in some ways even that much more important. And it's I I love the fact that I have several people that I would consider those 3 a.m. friends, right? That I can call and just say, you know, help.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

Yes, that is so good. That's important. I and and I can relate to the I think there's something to say about laughter, joy, um, a sense of humor. Like those are key elements that I think that are just very, very, very important. And so that when you said a friend having a sense of humor, um, that that is just so important. I think some life can get heavy sometimes. And if we can laugh in the mints or just laugh, just laughing, or just have joy, it is going to bring just it's gonna change the atmosphere, it's gonna change the connection that you have with the person. So I I love that. And I love the fact that you said that uh having those good friends who understand that life, we have responsibilities, things happen, and and if we don't talk, you know, four months, a year, whatever that is, three weeks, it doesn't mean it doesn't discredit the friendship or the the real the relationship that you have as friendship. It just means that you know life has happened, they respect it. And when you guys talk, you just pick up right where you left off. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Exactly. Yeah, and I mean, uh I I have had those friendships in the past where there was this, you know, kind of this sense of having to tend to it that was kind of that was this efforting, right? And and and I really like these people, right? I mean, there was there was a genuine fondness, and I think unfortunately, you know, as life goes on, there's it's it's much more difficult to have the friends that that you have to be doing this kind of constant tending to. Um and so it's you know, I think it's those. I have some friends that, and it's interesting that I've known for a long time, um, you know, middle school, high school, and and I consider them, I mean, we're friendly and we're friends. And and then I still, and I also have good friends from that time period of middle school and high school where I feel like we have grown together. So there's there's also that sense of of recognizing that we're we're on this journey together and being able to um evolve and continue to find those points of connection as you as you change.

Family, Acceptance, And Letting Go

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Yes, because if we're not changing and evolving, then you know, it doesn't give life much much purpose. I believe that people are really meant to evolve and grow um through the process. I've also had the experience, and my listeners probably can identify where uh the relationship hits uh it's hits emotion because you know, either one person is changing and growing, and and maybe the other person is not in an area. So then it sometimes that can mean the the end of a friendship, and that's not a bad thing, you know. Yeah, yeah, it's not a bad thing. It's just maybe a part of that chapter has has, you know, has closed, but it's a part of your guys' life, and and it's really important. And I think sometimes as people navigate through businesses, through personal life, through life happenstance, as I know um in my own life, um, that my priorities shift and they've changed, you know, because I'm helping with the support of my husband and I still have to carry on my career as well.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

So that may mean like some of my friendships may take uh may have to be repositioned for a season because life has shifted. And I think those who get it and understand it can respect it, which makes me value the friendship even more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah. Well, I was just it was interesting. I was journaling over the weekend and I was thinking about uh specifically family members, and it just there has been kind of this interesting shift for me over the past year of uh, especially with my mom, I think a real shift in our relationship that has been so nice because there has been, I think, on my part, a real release of some of the expectations or um, you know, some of maybe the past hurts that and just realizing that I'm going to love and appreciate her exactly as she is. That's right. And and I know we it we talk about that a lot of you know, acceptance and and just you know, loving people as they are, you know, and it's so easy to talk about that. Um, I don't know about you, but there are people in my life where it's I can talk about it all day long, but doing it is um oh boy, it really, it really, you know, takes um it takes a and it's funny because it's actually easier once you you can do that. I mean, it was I just have noticed such a just a joy and an ease that I can bring to our relationship and rather than the kind of the tension that essentially I feel like I was bringing.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Um, and then conversely, I have other family members where I feel like I have had I've wanted this closeness with them. And you know, and I'm kind of again we in that same spirit of of just acceptance and and really loving them. Just kind of recognizing that they're kind of at their capacity. And so that that thing that I'm kind of wanting from them, just to kind of also let that go.

SPEAKER_03 16:47

Yes, that is so good. I think I and I I think I can identify with that as, and I know my listeners can. I think um that's a space that I've been in in my life where I had to kind of readjust and let go of the expectations that I had in my mind about what this should be. And once I came into the awareness that they were just giving me at the capacity that they that they've learned or experienced or the tools they were given, and that's okay. And once I reached that awareness, there was beauty in that relationship then.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

And then if I need more, then I go to my source, which is God, you know, and he's gonna give it all. You know, the table is completely spread. What do you what do you want, Nicole? Now there's some things that come with that, like obedience and discipline and other things, but in a loving way, not in a punishment type of way. Um, and I think um it is brought like uh it's lifted the load, if you know, and yeah, I try to tell uh some of my younger family members that are coming up, you know, my nieces and and you know, my granddaughter, you know, and they're like, Well, they didn't do this, they didn't do this. This is what I expect. I and you know, and they like to throw the word trauma, nurses around that those are real words, and ours are valid, but I think they've kind of been commercialized in a way that they don't, they're not even my sister fan. And so it allows me to kind of take a breath and just step back and and and kind of share what I what I've been through. Like, what does this look like? You know, yeah, I like to relate, I've had those experiences, but my I realized that my expectation was unrealistic at the time. Maybe they can meet it one day, but they're not gonna meet it right now. So what am I what am I gonna do? What is my responsibility? So I love the fact that you brought up family because I think that they're they're a big part of who we are in our life.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Oh, certainly. And I and I what I what feels so right for me in kind of this awareness that I really was able to fully comprehend in the the journaling over the weekend was that it it's both of these positions, so to speak, that I'm taking where there's kind of increased closeness on the one hand, and and frankly, increased distance on the other hand, but they still are coming from that same place of loving-kindness. That's right. That it's it's and that um you know that just feels so right and and really allows me to be at peace, right? And and have kind of a more expansive, you know, just sense of being, that I think is really what when I think about my relationship to you know, source, creator, god, I I change names depending on where I'm at. Um and but is as you were mentioning, you know, my God is is always there and available, and it's only I'm the one who is creating the distance or the the barriers.

From Problems To Solutions

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Yes, right. I agree, I agree, which leads me to my next question because I think as people in their personal or professional lives or both, you can people can get stuck in, you know, what is what is the problem? Is it really a problem? How can we focus more on solution? Like, what's the solution to this so we don't stay in that space and then come into the awareness? Is it really a problem? And how do we move forward to reflecting on what that solution could be um so that we can move forward, that we can continue to grow and move in our purpose? Um, do you think when people get stuck in like the problem mindset, um how can they get out of it and how can they become to the awareness that is it really a problem or not? What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah, you know, it's it is interesting because I it's you know, I'm as I you mentioned in the introduction, I mean, I consider myself a work in progress, right? And I can certainly, you know, I can certainly fall back into these patterns. And I mean, I'm thinking of just even last week, I had a conversation with my son, and I I was, you know, I was it was the end of the day, I was tired, and we ended up uh sparring a little bit. And I I really, you know, after we hung up on the the we were talking on the phone, um I just I felt so I just was really unhappy um with myself for, you know, so I was kind of I got myself really just kind of mulling over the conversation and thinking about, you know, gosh, I wish I had, you know, not engaged in that way. And I'm just like, I'm just and then I'm thinking because we agreed that we, I mean, we we actually connected again. A few moments later on the phone, and we kind of agree that um, you know, the initial kind of apologies were made, and we agree that there may be um the need to just kind of touch base the following week and have more of a discussion, more of a connection. And so, in anticipation of that, I'm I'm like, hmm, so what am I gonna? And I'm still focused on this thing. Right. And and then finally, I just I mean, literally, I was like, huh, okay, what is, I mean, in terms of like let's reorient to this solution, you know, kind of version of things rather than this myopic problem. I mean I feel like when you go towards solution-oriented thinking, you really are again kind of going more expansive. And so the at the end of the day, when I was able to kind of think about it in those terms, it really wasn't so much about kind of trying to either defend my response to him or which was gonna frankly create another issue. Um, it was to to center in on the fact that, okay, what is the thing that I want? I want a relationship with my son. Right. One where we both can feel heard, where we both feel respected, where we both feel loved. Yes. And so that's what I want. And so that's where I was able to, and I I really kind of the way I think about it is really just kind of zooming out, right? Having to look more at the big picture because it's it's so easy for us to get really cyclical and ruminating in our thinking when we're just kind of picking this one little thing.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

I agree.

The Fear Of Success And First Steps

SPEAKER_01 24:07

And so, I mean, I'm a visual thinker too, so it's always kind of about this, just like, huh, just rise above that that weeds for a while. And you know, if you need to look up at the sky and realize how big and open the sky is, you know, do that, just whatever you need to do so that you can just be like, huh. Okay, what is what is kind of what is that relationship look like that I want? What is that, what is that? I mean, it can be business related. What is that that business goal that I'm trying to get to? Um, the personal goal, whatever, right?

SPEAKER_03 24:51

Yes, I love that. And I'm a visual thinker too. So I love the fact that you did the grass and the weeds, like it just boom, that that's my language. And so um, I I truly appreciate that. I was working with a project manager in a job, and I was a program manager, not a project manager, it was two different delineations. But when he broke and I had to create a program, and I'm like, I just manage him, I don't build, you know. Once he told me that it's that you're building a house, Nicole, you got the foundation, you got the you got the framework. So I love visual, so I love it. Yes. Um, so as you're winding down, we got a few more minutes. I want to ask you a couple more questions. Why do you think people are more afraid of success than failure? Um, you know, as we go through life, we're gonna have, we're definitely gonna have failure. But I think some people are afraid of succeeding, which sounds kind of odd, but I I think people experience that. Um, what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 25:44

I think it basically has to do with the fact that we are very familiar with failure, right? I mean, we've all experienced it, and we can all um, you know, if we fail, we can, you know, we can kind of lean into complaining about it. It it's it's also kind of a way to distance ourselves from our own agency, I think. So I think what happens when you are really uh well, I'll say it for myself, when I am naming something that I want to be successful, um, and I'm really going for it, um, it can be a little scary because it can it's generally gonna be a a new path, right? Um, I can kind of conceive of the things that I want, but there's actually more things that I don't know that are gonna be kind of repercussions of this success that I want. And it's essentially asking us to to change, right? To to grow and to evolve. And so there is a a real um, you know, I think about it as kind of if you know, if you've ever like jumped into a pond or or even off of a diving board or this, you know, the side of a into water. I mean, there's that moment where you're like, gosh, I know I really want to cool down and jump in there. And I'm I'm right here. And then there's gonna be that moment where I have to, I have to leap and and I'm like, huh, I don't know, you know, yeah, I don't know what it's gonna feel like. I don't know. Yes. And that is what I think so many times there's that that tension between the time where we're standing where we are, which is even if the ground, like using this the swimming pool analogy, the ground is hot and it's we're comfortable, we're sweating, it still is it is terra firma, right? As opposed to if we want to get cooled down in the water, um, we gotta we gotta leap.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

We we gotta do it. And the fact is, once we leap, we find out that we're the majority of the time we're gonna be just fine.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

We're gonna be just fine. You get in the water and you're just and you get to float.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

Yes, yes, I love that. I love the fact that you said sometimes we're more familiar with failure, so there's like a the familiarity with that, and yeah, success piece, I get it. But I think you know, as people navigate their personal professional lives and whatever they define as success, to kind of be okay with the that it might fail, but also be okay with the success that's gonna come.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

Yeah, and and don't get too, I think the other thing too with success is we can get too far ahead of ourselves.

Daily Hope And Writing A New Story

SPEAKER_01 29:05

So we can really do a lot of future tripping. I agree. Yes. So I would say if there is something that you are thinking of right now as you know, as a listener to this conversation of this thing that you you know that that represents a new endeavor or like a success that you are longing for, yeah, just start with the first little step. Yes, right. I agree, break that down, break it down, and just and what's gonna be much more fun and informative and all sorts of good stuff is that as you just go step by step, you're gonna be getting all sorts of information.

SPEAKER_03 29:52

That's right. We're learning, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

You're gonna be learning. So, so just give yourself like it's it's like it's you're on. I mean, you literally are on a journey. Yes. When you just stay present and go step by step.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I agree, Kristen. That is valuable information. Well, I'm gonna ask you one last question, and I'll give you an opportunity to give your website if people want to uh connect with you for a cult or spiritual guide. Um, I greatly appreciate the time we had. As we close, uh close up for the podcast conversation. What gives you hope as you continue to do this work as you're walking along on your journey and your experiences, which has been valuable, and other people can find it valuable as well and have. What gives you hope as you do the do the work you do and as you walk this journey yourself?

SPEAKER_01 30:42

You know, what gives me hope is I am I'm still here. Yes. I mean, I I woke up this morning. Yes, I'm breathing, I am, I am still here. So I have a new story that I can write today, right? And I every day that I wake up, I can I I have the ability to to make the changes that I want to see. And and believe me, I mean, I have had you know, skinned knees galore.

Where To Find Kristen’s Work

SPEAKER_03 31:21

Yeah, I'm still here. That's right, that's right. And I love the fact that you said that, you know, that you're breathing, you're here, you're up, you can write another story, rewrite whatever you want to do, revise, reinvent, like you're still here, and even through the skin knees, like you're still here. Yeah, and that is uh enough to give you hope, to give me hope to buy you even a sharing that story. So I greatly appreciate it. Kristen, if anyone wants to get a hold of you for your services, what is your website link?

SPEAKER_01 31:51

Yeah, so I'm at kristinswan.com and you can find I mentioned journaling is a really important part of my life. So you can find my journals there that are available for purchase. And then also there's live events and other ways to get in talk in touch with me. But yes, Kristinswan.com is the best place to go.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

Thank you. I will make sure that's in the descriptive bio when I edit the podcast. Kristen, I just want to thank you for your grace, your pleasure, your patience, and just the insight that you've given today to myself and the listeners as well. I'm sure they will pick something out of that that can really help them as a tool wherever they're at in their life. And if they want to connect regarding your journals or other events, they can go right to your website. Thank you, Kristen. I greatly appreciate this time you had today with me. It's been a pleasure. Thank you, Nicole. Thank you.