The Cabrera Lab Podcast

#121: Why “I’m Trying” Is Often a Cop-Out

Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 24:09

Get 20% off any STSI course with code YODA20 — become a systems thinker today!

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore the difference between “trying” and “doing”—and why that distinction matters more than most people think.

They unpack how words like “trying” or “I didn’t mean to” can function as subtle ways of avoiding reality, ownership, and feedback. Through examples from parenting, communication, goals, and relationships, they show how systems thinking helps us see the mental models underneath our language and behavior.

The conversation also dives into listening, integrity, and the difference between reacting automatically and choosing your actions with awareness. If you want better communication, stronger ownership, and more alignment between what you say and what you do, this episode gives you a sharper way to think about it.