SisterVibes

26. Parenting in Motion: Raising Kids Across Ages

• KO • Season 3 • Episode 2

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This episode explores the winding, unpredictable path of parenthood as we, three sisters, reflect on life with a three-month-old, two pre-teen and teenage girls, and an introverted high school boy, each of us in a different phase of raising children. We weave in Japanese baby rituals like omiyamairi and okuizome, the challenges of working from home with a baby, and the emotional load that comes with health concerns, screen time, and raising kids in an AI-driven world. From midnight feeds to travel soccer weekends and negotiating digital boundaries, our conversation is an honest look at how we navigate the everyday realities of parenting.

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Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2279605

Big shoutout to Allison Gray for generously granting us permission to feature her song, "Off My Mind" (from Ep 05).

SPEAKER_01:

I gotta get you out of my system. I gotta get you off of my mind. But how do I move on when no one compares? They only keep me occupied. I gotta break these chains and find me. I try to shake them off so dead, really. Would you pull them tighter? String me up along. It's sad, but I'm so gone.

SPEAKER_05:

Hi guys, it's episode 25. We're gonna talk about parenthood today. Before we dive in, I just wanted to ask Sumi. She had her baby three months ago. The last time I think we mentioned or talked about her having a baby was back in episode 18, which was about her pregnancy experience and how Tomo and I had our babies and what our experiences were like a decade ago at least. So, Sumi, you're a new mom. And how is everything going? Actually, how was your labor? Only if you want to share.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, yeah. I have no problem sharing. So I think in the last episode that you mentioned, Cody, I talked about getting an epidural, which was rare in Japan. Right. Not a lot of hospitals give you epidural during labor. So I talked about that, but I ended up not needing one because they did give me epidural, but I eventually got an emergency C-section. Right. So I didn't need it. And why did you go through that C-section? Well, because my baby, well, they said that his heartbeat was like dropping and it's getting weak. So we have to get him out. ASAP. Right. And I was already on the epidural, so I was like, okay, sure.

SPEAKER_05:

Painless. Yeah. That's good. And your husband was not in attendance at the time.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, you're not allowed to come in when you have a C-section for some reason. Oh, okay. Your partner can't be there if it's a C-section.

SPEAKER_05:

In Japan. Yeah. But he also was not allowed. Yeah, he had it because he had an eye infection or something like that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

After the baby was born.

SPEAKER_04:

That's actually the day that my water broke. It's when he was having like issues with his eyes. And then the next day he went to the hospital and he's he had an eye infection. The clinic that I was at, they told him that he couldn't come in until it was cured because infectious. It's infectious, right? Yeah, especially for the newborn baby.

SPEAKER_06:

So dads always have to mess things up. I'm telling you. Yep. Matt passed out. They had to bring smelling stuff. I mean, come on. So how long did it take again until he could hold him? I think it was like after four days he was born.

SPEAKER_04:

And then I couldn't hold him either because I had a C-section and that scar, like in my stomach, it hurt so much that I couldn't hold him. Right. Like he they would place me like right next to me when I'm lying laying down, but I couldn't really hold him properly. So the first person that actually got to hold our baby was Baba, our Okasan, our mom.

SPEAKER_05:

Wow. Right. That's crazy. And Sumi, your diet was also crazy towards the end, or you had to watch how much you were eating, which was yeah, it wasn't actually towards the end.

SPEAKER_04:

It was more like from the beginning. They told me like the baby is probably gonna be really big, so I have to watch what I eat. Right. And they also told me to exercise for at least an hour. But towards the end, they were like, Well, you need to exercise, well, not exercise, just walk for maybe two hours a day every day, yeah. And then they kept on telling me to watch what I eat. So I was like eating less during my pregnancy than before I was pregnant, which is crazy because I was eating for two people, but I was eating and one person. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_05:

But the baby was big, yes, he was bigger than my baby when he was born, and I was told he was big. So what was the weight again? 3,866 grams. I think that was eight pounds six ounces was my baby, Lucas. That was 15 years ago, and yours was eight pounds and eight ounces or something. But that's big for a Japanese baby, having both parents as Japanese.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh, I don't know if this is true, but the doctor told me that it has been five to six years since they gave birth to a baby that big. I don't know if if he was just saying that.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah. So it was a big baby, a Japanese big baby. And did we say what the baby's gender was? It's a boy. It's a boy. So amongst us, we have uh you have a son now, and then Tomomi has two girls in Florida, and then I have a son, so that's kind of a nice balance. Of course, there's age gap, but yeah. So, Simi, what are some challenges that you've faced so far? Although it's only been three months.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I mean, it it's getting easier compared to the newborn phase. Yeah. Um because you're getting used to it. I mean, getting used to it, and he, you know, during his newborn phase, I had to feed him every two to three hours. Right. So that was not fun. Yeah. Um, so of course I was sleep deprived. I'm still a bit sleep deprived, but it's much better. And he also has a more stable cycle, right? Sleeping cycle, feeding cycle. And yeah, I just have a better understanding of what he wants. Right. Yeah. Compared to before. So it's getting easier, but like I said, like he's really big and he's getting heavier each day. So it's like and it takes him, it takes me a while to get him to sleep. So I have to hold him, but my arm just gives up on me, so I have to sit down, but then he'll he'll cry. He'll be like, you know, you need to stand up, so I'll stand up.

SPEAKER_06:

He makes you stand and hold him. Yeah, that's what he likes the most.

SPEAKER_04:

And I'm sure every parent goes through this, but he wakes up every time I try to put him down. So most of the time I just hold him while he's sleeping. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

I didn't have to do that with uh Kiko, and I don't think you had to do that either, right, Cody? With the mess.

SPEAKER_05:

No, because he would sleep after I put him down. So, like, what we trained him to sleep, you know, on their own, so that you don't have to like carry and then put him down and wake him up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

I mean, of course, there are times where he would fall asleep in the stroller or something where we had to carry him in, but yeah, at night, I used to place kickle and just shut the door and she'd be awake and she'd be like and then she would fall asleep.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

At night it's like that, but during daytime, it doesn't yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So as we speak, Ukasa, our mom is with you.

SPEAKER_06:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05:

And how long has she been there to help you out?

SPEAKER_06:

You gotta explain why she's here this time because it's very interesting to me that you guys celebrate these things in Japan.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the reason why she's staying for 10 days is because you know, I'm still working, and it just helps when she's here because she can watch over my son while I work. So it wasn't just our Okasa that was here, it was also Tosan, our dad. They were both here because my son, we had this traditional baby ceremony where you take your newborn to a shrine and you thank them for the safety delivery of your baby, and also you pray for the baby's health and happiness, which is called omia mighty.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. You went to a shrine and had some kind of ritual things that you guys did.

SPEAKER_04:

So this omia mighty is usually you do it after about a month after your baby's born. But I didn't do that because it was during the summertime and it was just too hot. Yeah. There's also this tradition called Okuizome, which is a celebration for babies right around their a hundredth day mark. Yeah. Right around that time after birth. Okay. And it's kind of like the same thing to wish for the baby's health, happiness, and just to pray that they have no trouble eating when they grow up. And that's why our parents were here.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. And then so she's staying longer on her own, basically, right? To help you out. How's the balance between work and you know having a newborn? Or I mean he's a few months old, but still.

SPEAKER_03:

You know, there's it's hectic.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. It's crazy that you're working.

SPEAKER_04:

I know, I think so too. And you're working from home. Yeah. Yeah. So once I put him down to sleep at night, that's when I will work. But then I'm also sleep deprived, so I'm really sleepy, so I can only work for like two hours a day. But then that's not enough to get all the work done. So that's why Ukasan is here to help out.

SPEAKER_06:

So you're like kind of part-time?

SPEAKER_05:

It's based on uh project deadlines, right? So you can be flexible, it sounds like, as far as how many hours that you're working.

SPEAKER_06:

But you said two hours a day?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, because that's the limit of how much I can work a day because I'm again I have to work after I put him down to sleep at night.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I only have night time to work, and then I don't know, I just I'm really sleepy. So I can only work for like two hours approximately a day.

SPEAKER_05:

And I think you also had mentioned that that's the best time to do it because you're translating, translating, that's your job, that you need focus. Like you can't just be doing 30 minutes here and there while the baby's taking a nap.

SPEAKER_04:

There's 30 minutes I could do it, but you know there's not 30 minutes. So there isn't. Because I have to hold the window sleeps during daytime. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. So that's a challenge.

SPEAKER_04:

But do you think having okay has helped? Oh my gosh, yes. I'm getting more sleep and I I'm getting a lot more time to work. So during the day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. That's good. Yeah. It's a lot when they're just so small. I mean, that's great that he's sleeping at night, but it's tough if you have to hold him during the day for him to take a nap and such. Because then that means that all the attention needs to be on him and you barely have time.

SPEAKER_04:

And it doesn't help that my husband is not on paternal leave. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And he works late. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's a lot. Well, I'm glad you're getting help. Yep. Okay, Tomomi. Okay, now that we've talked about Sunami and her challenges, you want to tell us a little bit about your girls, maybe the ages and where they're at.

SPEAKER_06:

Um, I have one in middle school, she's 11, one in high school, freshman, she's 14. The only challenge I have, obviously it gets easier as you get as they get older, but you're hosting a student from Japan. She is a senior, third year with us. The only challenge I have is obviously they're really involved in a lot of activities and sports after school or on the weekends. Um, so transportation is very difficult between three kids in three different schools. Yeah. So I'm constantly all over the place. But I mean, usually we ask friends to help or if need be, or Matt and I was split up, but it's a lot of hours, busy in a different way. Yeah. More manageable, I feel, uh obviously as they get older, but yeah, very, very busy. And we have to be in different places at the same time, which is really a challenge.

SPEAKER_05:

But and the girl that you're hosting, she's senior in high school, right? Yeah. So you have first year middle schooler, first year high schooler, and the last year high schooler. Yeah, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_06:

And like I said, they're on different schools. So obviously, my 11-year-old is in travel soccer, where we travel and games every weekend, basically. So when you say travel, where do you travel to? It depends.

SPEAKER_05:

It's not originally done. It's like you go out of the area where you live, right? Is that what it means?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like last weekend we had Saturday and Sunday games, and she has to be there one hour before the game for warm-up and stuff. You know, one of the days it was a Saturday was a home game, and Sunday was away, and that was two hours away south of Miami. No, it wasn't two hours away. It ended up being kind of smoother than that, but still, it's a huge chunk of your day because you have to be there an hour before the game, too. Right. But yeah, it's a lot of fun though. I love watching soccer games, it's so fun.

SPEAKER_05:

This is what your youngest is involved in. What about the high schooler?

SPEAKER_06:

And Kaiko is in freshman, she joined Color Guard with the school. So she had a competition all day. Saturday literally had to be at school from 8 50 till till the end, it would have been like 10 30 p.m. But she had homecoming and they were actually allowed to leave earlier if the parents signed them out. So we pulled her out it close to six o'clock. We rushed home, she showered, she ate, and then rushed her back to school for homecoming dance. And then she wasn't done till like 11. So maybe not everyone knows what color guard is. I don't really know what color guard is. I'm still learning, but okay. Basically, they twirl something, whether it's like a flag or rifle or whatever. It depends on, I think rifle.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_06:

Like uh yeah, made up one, not a real one. Oh my gosh. Okay. But that's for more varsity, like more advanced, like juniors and seniors. But some of them are in the competitive team. They're called football color guard or something like that. Cake was on the competition team, so she has to go for competitions. Ones that are just for football band, they don't have practice as many hours as the uh competition kids after school, and they only perform uh for football games. But everyone performs, including competition kids, but there's just football band kids that just perform, you know, on football days. They don't compete. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

So is the oldest, uh, the girl you're hosting, does she have anything going on? Her being senior?

SPEAKER_06:

She's in student council and she's doing college applications. She recently had a senior retreat, which was like two-night overnight camp away. And it was mandatory if you want to go on the senior trip. Right. So she did that. And then this week, Friday, she will stay after school and go directly from school to Miami to do Miami heat performance because she's in symphonic band. She'll perform and then she returns back to school at 11:30 p.m. So we have to go pick her up from there.

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_06:

But Emiko also has a tournament that day, and then Keiko has color guard practice that day. So it's just really busy.

SPEAKER_05:

You and basically along with your friends, yeah, have to drive away.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh yeah. Like I can't get Keiko after she's done with her color guard practice. So I already have a ride uh coordinated for her. But yeah, that's my life. It's just all over.

SPEAKER_05:

The oldest one, she can't get driver's license, although she she's the age because she's an international student. Yeah, she's not allowed. Yeah. So Keiko is almost ready for driving.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, she is she's 14. She can start taking her driver's education class, like virtually, like now that she's 14 and a half, but she can't get her permit till she's 15. I want her to be able to get her permit on the day she turns 15 because on the day she turns 16, I want her to have her driver's license because it's a year after she has her permit that she can get her driver, right? I see. So sooner things happen, the better for us, I feel. She's been practicing driving on the golf court when she has time, like our golf court in the community, and she's been doing a great job.

SPEAKER_05:

Do you think things will get easier if she can start driving?

SPEAKER_06:

Of course. Yeah, and especially her school is just down the street.

SPEAKER_05:

Interesting. So I know you have preteen two teenagers at home. They're all girls. Are there any we only like girls here?

SPEAKER_06:

So we we we rule. I mean, our fish that was a male died too. So men are not very strong in our household, they're very weak. They're girls rule in our house. That's not okay. He's he's actually literally sick right now. Oh no, but you guys like laying in bed. Oh, stop. We are strong here. I do feel bad for him, but anyway, I'm sorry, what were you saying?

SPEAKER_05:

You know, we were teenagers, we used to fight all the time. Like and I had you too. Yeah, I had drama at school, it was just such a mess. Yeah, and I'm just realizing that you have that here, you know, is it what you're wondering?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, or just yeah, you know, actually, yeah. I mean, when I compare to how we were, they are really good. All of them. Like, of course, Emiko and Keiko have moments where they like, you know, have fights, but they don't fight that much. They get along more than they fight, and they're very close. They're actually really cute with each other. Like, I find notes that they write to each other in their room sometimes. Uh-huh. Uh Keiko will write something to Emiko and then leave it in her room, and Emiko will respond and put it in Keiko's room. And yeah, they're like very close, even though there's a three-year age gap. And then the older girl, she's very, very quiet, but comes around and hangs out too. So it's peaceful at home. What about at school? Well, are there she Keiko's really loud, but I don't know if that's peaceful.

SPEAKER_05:

She's outgoing. She's very outgoing. Chatty.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Does she have a lot going on at school with other girls?

SPEAKER_06:

No, for example. No, and I think it's good because she stays very busy.

SPEAKER_05:

There's no time for drama.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, she will tell me like things that happen. Oh my gosh, can you believe this? You know, I think when she was bored, she used to love to gossip. When before she and uh joined ColorGarden, there was always something going on. And she would be like, Oh my gosh, did I tell you this, this, this, and this? And then she would call somebody else and then said say the same thing, and then you know, and I'm like, You need to be busier, and she's so busy now, she really has no time for drama. But she's really enjoying her life in high school, I think.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, I guess that's great that she's you know, she's outgoing, so I'm sure it's a lot of fun for her, especially when there are all these uh activities that she's involved in, and yeah, but you know, of course, it's her chattiness that gets her in trouble.

SPEAKER_06:

Because, you know, as you know, one of the teachers emailed me, told me she's a great smart student, but she loses focus and she chats a lot in class. When I when I confront Keiko about this, she's like, What? Every time. I I do not talk. I'm like, okay, yeah, every year teachers make this up, right? They say the same thing. But yeah, there's not really crazy drama, you would think so with three girls. Like I said, they do pick on each other, like Keiko and Emigo, every once in a while at dinner table. Ah, your elbow just touched me. That kind of minor stuff. But I try to shut it down because they'll they'll come to me and tell me about it, like I care. And I tell them, I'm like, I don't care. Um, you need to end it right now. And what about you? But see, we have to talk about like we have different kids with different personalities, right? Totally.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, because your younger daughter, she's more mellowed, she's not as outgoing, she's not also gonna get a note from a teacher saying she's you know, she's fucking that's never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_06:

But yeah, like in your case, Lucas is a sophomore in high school, he is not your typical sophomore boy, like crazy, crazy, outgoing, active. You have to worry about what he's up to.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I mean, I think it's just his personality, obviously. But yeah, and I only have one. It's not like I have multiple kids. You know, he's always been very independent. He's an introvert, he likes to read, he likes to do things on his own. You know, obviously the things that we get comment from school is more about him needing to participate in class because he's challenging preserved. So, you know, I have to be on top of a lot of things with him. For example, he doesn't care at all what his hair looks like, how he dresses, which is completely cool. But the hair is like such a mess.

SPEAKER_06:

Do you think that is that I mean, what about his peers at school?

SPEAKER_05:

Do they actually care? The boys. I think so. I mean, the boys that his friends with are they put together? Yeah, they're like either gelat or something, it's yeah, brushed it, it's in place. Oh, right? It doesn't move. Yeah, that is definitely a challenge. It's just like, and then it's like, did you wash your face? Oh, I forgot, but he already has a backpack on, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So that's that's a challenge because he just doesn't care.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. Well, talk about his hobbies, like what he does on the weekends or what he enjoys doing, because again, it's very different than your typical sophomore, your boy.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, so just like I think, like most boys, you know, he loves playing games online. So for him, it's more about hanging out with his friends online. And of course, he does go out and hang out, but those are rarer than him getting on the computer every night play games with his friends. Like you never have to worry about where did he go? For sure. Yeah. Because he just doesn't, he's more homebound, you know. He likes being in his room, he likes to kind of do his solo thing.

SPEAKER_06:

Because when I talk to my friends that have boys in high school, they tell me all the time, like, I have to figure out where they went, and I constantly have to be on top of them because they move from one location to the other and they don't understand that they need to inform their parents where they're at. And they were telling me recently that you know, one of the kids loves to go a walk around in our community, which is very safe. But she's like, I had no idea where he went because he told me he was gonna go play basketball with his friends and he wasn't there and it was approaching 11 p.m. And I'm like, Oh my goodness, that's scary. You don't have to worry about that.

SPEAKER_05:

No, many of his friends they live far from school, yeah. So, like, which means far from here as well, travels to school on his school bus. It's like 40 minutes an hour sometimes. So that said, if he wants to actually go see them, it takes a lot longer for them to meet up than just hopping online playing games. So that's I guess the challenge that I have with him is you know, just take care of yourself a little bit more. Okay, question. Has there been the hardest stage of parenting you've faced?

SPEAKER_04:

I've only been a parent for three months.

SPEAKER_05:

So I mean, I feel like that's the hardest part is just being a new mom, you know.

SPEAKER_06:

I think I don't know if this is the hardest, but for me, when there's health complications, that's always the most worrisome time, obviously. Between KQ and Emicol, Emicol always has every issue because she's so much like Matt, and I always blame him for everything. But she takes after him with asthma, allergies, thyroid, you know, those issues. I think I would consider the hardest because it's a lot on your mind and a lot of appointments and then a lot of unknowns. Those are for me the most difficult. It's an ongoing thing with Emigo. It's like one thing resolved and then something else comes up. And what about dividing your attention between the kids? Because you have multiple. Yeah. So Emiko always gets wedges herself in between Keiko and I. If I like give Keiko a hug. So Emiko is the younger one.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, Emiko's the younger one. So she gets jealous, basically. Yeah. What about social media? Has there been a problem or anything or issues? Or I know that Keiko, she's older, the child that you're hosting, she's also on social media. Has there been any anything? I have a child who's completely not interested in social media, so he doesn't have any accounts or anything. I know also maybe in the US, a lot of other kids are on it. And it's just like, you know, having a cell phone, perhaps.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. I mean, Keiko told me she always said, like, why am I not allowed to have social media? I'm the only one. My all my friends have it. And I always told her if you can be responsible, more responsible, show me that you're able to get good grades in school, that I don't have to constantly remind you to do something, then I will consider it. But she never got there. But recently, when we went to high school orientation, we realized that if she didn't have Instagram, she would be missing out on a lot of information that they provide for students. So I was like, okay, I guess you can download Instagram. She was very excited, but I put time limit on it. Of course, she's obsessed. I put a lot of restrictions on her because she messes up a lot. Yeah. I did one time have a problem with her post that she posted because she was doing some dance and then she was showing too much skin. And so I said, uh, take that down right now. If I ever see that again, I will ban you from Instagram. And she's like, okay. And then our young she doesn't have social media. Right, right. What about screen time? I have screen time set on both of them. Yeah. And um it don't it won't they won't allow they're not allowed, it won't allow them to do anything except for messaging and phone calls until uh a certain time in the morning for both. And then with Emiko, the middle schooler, she her screen time is done at 9 p.m. every day, and then for Keiko, it's 9 30 p.m.

SPEAKER_05:

And then if they need more time for school or something, ask, yeah, they ask for more time, but I think the struggle that I have with him sometimes is like getting him off of his gaming. I'm sure a lot of parents face similar issues because he won't ever get off when I say get off because he wants to finish the game. He'll tell me, like, okay, five more minutes, then he'll eventually get off. But it's a daily struggle. Is it on his phone? Mm-mm. Computer. Okay. Generally, he doesn't really have screen time per se. And you know, he comes home at like 5 30. He needs that downtime. Like he's a type of person who just kind of needs his own time. You know, he's always been this way. Because I think sometimes school is a lot, it's a lot of stimulation. So every single day we just let him play video games.

SPEAKER_06:

He's doing uh great in school anyway. It's not like you have to be on top of it.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I think that's something that I struggled as a parent. I thought, you know, we never grew up with screens, obviously. We never grew up with video games. And Christoph, that was his life. Like he was on the computer with his brothers, he played games, there was no restrictions. So that's something that, you know, I think for me, it was hard to accept that okay, I guess I should be okay with him playing computer games with his friends every night. Like I had to be like, okay, I have to accept it because Christoph's okay with it. And somebody said, Then how did your husband turn out? And I was like, fine. And I think for Sumier, especially because hero will be growing up with this kind of environment. I'm wondering how that's gonna go. Our generation, we were much older when we first had our cell phones and you know, the smartphone coming out and all this stuff. And even at school, we took notes and notebooks. It wasn't like you typed it up or you took an iPad in or anything like that, you know.

SPEAKER_06:

Do you mean for our kids or our age?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, our kids, and especially for Hero's generation, like you know, there's AI already. I mean, that's just something that's you know such a big topic. And it'll be interesting to see how Sumi will handle all these screens and all this stuff. And I'm sure culturally it's different too in the whole.

SPEAKER_06:

Sumi's gonna be like so behind, she's gonna be fooled by Hero all the time because she's already an older mom to begin with. And he's gonna be like, I can lie to her, she's not gonna know what I'm talking about, you know.

SPEAKER_05:

You know what? I think that's something that I'm very thankful about because Christoph is on top of me. Yeah, he knows ins and outs of it. Yeah, and so I put a lot of trust in him to navigate this, but for parents who are clueless, they'll be fooled for sure. I mean, Christoph was saying he fooled his teacher, you know, in the computer class, like tapping class. The teacher would come around, the kids would be playing games.

SPEAKER_04:

I used to take my tamaguchi with me to school.

SPEAKER_05:

You did? Yeah, and the teacher wouldn't notice. Wait, you weren't allowed? I don't think we were in college or high school in Japan? No, no, no, in the US. Oh, yeah, we did have tamagochi in America for sure, because I remember when we went to the Japanese school on Saturdays. Oh, I think you're right.

SPEAKER_06:

I think you are not allowed. You're right.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, and at the very first phase of Tamagochi, you have to like constantly take care of it or they'll die because of how dirty it gets with cookies.

SPEAKER_06:

Could you imagine getting tamagouchi for our kids now? They're gonna be like, what is this lame thing? I mean, actually, they are popular here, and they did go through a phase recently where it became popular again.

SPEAKER_05:

Explain what tamagochi is. I mean it's a Japanese invention. It's like a digital pet, basically. Everyone knows. Yeah, I think everyone knows.

SPEAKER_06:

Like even in the US. Yeah. So in stores? I mean, our kids don't know because it's way too lame, probably.

SPEAKER_05:

I know, and the screen was so small, too. Tamugle means egg. And it's like about the size of an egg. Oh, they do? Yeah, that makes sense. But the screen was so small. You raised them from an egg. It's black and white. But you took it to school.

SPEAKER_04:

And I thought I was so clever because the teacher wouldn't notice. And I will like hide. Can you mute the sounds? You know, underneath and stuff.

SPEAKER_06:

Was there sound?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

How did we get tamagochi? I can't see our parents.

SPEAKER_04:

I remember. How it was during dinner time. And Tosan's the one who suggested it. Really? Really? After this. Yeah. So after dinner, we were like so excited. Really? And then so he took us all to Walmart. Wow. And we all picked one each. Wow. It was Otosan's idea. Oh, does it end up turning into a monster in the end? Well, no, no. It depends, like what it turns into. How much you care for? It depends on the future of the Tamaluchi. So if you don't take care of it much, then they just turn into this ugly little thing.

SPEAKER_06:

Can you restart it? I'm sure you can. There's probably a reset button, right? Like, oh gosh, I this is malnourished.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, if it's too malnourished, then it just dies on you.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, yeah, I don't remember much. Okay, going back, do you ever feel mom guilt? Of course. Constantly. That's why I don't do anything for myself except for my nails.

unknown:

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_06:

What's a mom guilt? Um, like pleasing yourself or doing something for yourself. So you have so much guilt guilty about it. That yeah, you or like if you do go out to eat dinner with your friends, I'm constantly bombarded by my kids texting me asking me when are you coming home? So, you know, of course, I have that guilt. I used to have to sneak out to work out. That's not the case anymore, but I also wake up super early before they wake up and start workout.

SPEAKER_05:

I definitely had mom guilt when I was in Ohio working full time, and I had business dinners and drinks afterwards. I would come home, I would make dinner, and then I would go out. Like I always made sure that I made dinner to compensate for me not being there.

SPEAKER_06:

But honestly though, did you really feel guilty?

SPEAKER_05:

Because he didn't really need you, did he, Lucas? Well, I mean, obviously when he was younger, for sure. Really? I was breastfeeding too. By me making dinner, somehow I was making up for my time not being there.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Especially when he was obviously a toddler, you know, at those ages. He was never really clingy.

SPEAKER_06:

He's not a clingy pile. He's pretty independent since he was fairly young. And I didn't ever see him like needing you. Kristoff would be fine for him, you know. And it wasn't the case at our house. Yeah, it's still not the case here. Yeah. And it goes out if I don't take her to soccer practice. Still. Even now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So I think Simi, maybe your mom guilt might be that it'll kick in.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, that's why she doesn't work till he goes to sleep. That's right. That's right. Well, and she physically probably can't.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, I yeah, I can't. Yeah. Yeah. I want to. Yeah. Okay. This is probably for Towomi and me, but what's the biggest parent fail that you can now laugh at?

SPEAKER_06:

Parent fail? Oh, that happens to me all the time. Okay, so when I look at other moms, I realize, oh my gosh, I am such a failure as a mom because I don't take first day photos when they go to school or like first day school photo. Yeah. I'm not festive. So like other moms will have their Halloween stuff all decorated early, or like they'll do pumpkin carving or make cookies, pumpkin cookies. I'm like, I never do any of that. That kind of stuff. But I think I give so much of my time to the kids. So it's fine. Right. But I never take first day photos. I always forget. No, not on purpose. I think I may have done it once or twice. It's like at the end of the day, I see everyone posting their child's first day photos, and I'm like, oh, I forgot. I didn't take it. Right. Or purchasing yearbook message. Like you can pay for the to dedicate a message for a child. I didn't do that when Keiko was in middle school or elementary. I always said, you know what? Before they graduate high school, I will do it. There you go. And that's all that matters, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't even have middle school yearbooks anyway. So is there anything? Do you relate to how our parents were parenting us? Do you have any moments where you go, oh my God, I'm just kind of like them, or hopefully I'm not like that, or you know, do you have those moments at all? Of course.

SPEAKER_06:

I think because I basically grew up in the US, I'm very affectionate with my kids. Yeah. You know, our parents were not, but that's also our culture too in Japan. Yeah. You know? So I don't want to not be affectionate to my kids. I mean, it's not like I'm intentional about being affectionate. I'm just naturally affectionate with them. Yeah. But I think that's one thing for sure. What about you?

SPEAKER_05:

I have to make conscious effort to kind of pull away. Meaning. Pull away. Yeah. Meaning, like, you know, there are a lot of situations where I Oh, you're hovering. You're like a hover. Hovering. Yeah. Or just do things for him or whatever. And I have to make conscious effort to just be like, okay, I have to just let him, you know, figure it out or do it. Or and a lot of times it's not like he needs it, right? It's just like mentally for me, step back a little bit and let him figure out. I mean, I have to make conscious effort. Yeah. I realized that I have to stop myself from getting too heavily involved.

SPEAKER_06:

But I think also in your case, you only have one child. So I can see why that would be harder to be conscious about. Yeah. Like because you have our focus is only one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

In my case, I'm like, just do it. Like, I don't want to do it. You know, like, yeah. But I sometimes struggle with that too. I'm like, I need to let them make the decisions.

SPEAKER_05:

So, Mia, anything else? Any questions that you have? We're veterans now, being parents for 10 years plus. Um, when can I sleep? That is a very valid question.

SPEAKER_04:

Or like seven hours straight.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. I think it will get easier as he starts to eat. I was just gonna say, when he starts eating, I think he'll sleep better. Really? Yeah, because like all that solid food.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, so like soon. Is it five four or five months?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, four months is when I started. I was like, I need her to sleep. No, actually, Keiko slept so much that I didn't have any problems, but Emiko didn't. Hopefully, it was solid foods to me. Okay, the baby will sleep longer, or at least it gives me hope. I can see he'll be a good eater, I think. I think so too.

SPEAKER_04:

You know, he currently weighs 7.6 kilograms. I don't know how much that is 15-ish.

SPEAKER_06:

Wow. Thanks for joining us today. Don't forget to review Sister Vibes and make sure to subscribe on the app of your choice so you don't miss our upcoming episodes.

SPEAKER_01:

Until next time, John Ed with yourself and all of these games you play. I should have seen through it right from the start, but I chose to give it all away.

SPEAKER_00:

Now I've said it won't get anyone to come and give me a pray.

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