28. Interviewing Christoph: Growing Up With Three Brothers

What happens when three sisters invite a husband raised among three brothers to unpack birth order, culture, and the unspoken rules of childhood? Discussions include: 

• birth order effects across sisters and brothers
• German school tracks and behavioral differences
• permissive parenting, biking to parties, early drinking age
• gaming culture, DIY PCs, D&D, and live-action roleplay
• chores, household help, and company tasks
• favorite traits in each brother and what they taught Christoph
• changing alliances over time and age gaps
• college choices and leaving friends

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Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2279605

Big shoutout to Allison Gray for generously granting us permission to feature her song, "Off My Mind" (from Ep 05).

Transcript

Meet The Sister Vibes Crew

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I gotta get you. I don't understand. I gotta get you lap on that. They gotta keep me on good. I gotta break me to find me. But you pull a tight bring me along.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Hey, it's the Sister Vibes crew here. If you haven't listened to our podcast, welcome. But I thought we could first reintroduce ourselves again because it's been a while. Um, I'm the oldest. I'm Kale Kaudi. I currently live in Germany.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Oh, my turn. I'm the second, or the I was the middle child until our brother was born, but I'm the second child. I'm Tomo. You guys call me Tomo or Tomo Mi. I live in Florida, US. Out of the sisters, I'm the youngest.

Introducing Christoph And His Brothers

SPEAKER_03 0:58

I am Sumi. I live in Japan. Great. Okay, so it's three of us co-hosting this podcast. And we do have a brother, but he is much, much younger than any of us. So when we grew up together, it was mostly three of us, especially for me. I'm the oldest and spent like five years with him before I left for college. So he's still in his 30s. We're all in our 40s. Anyway, today we are bringing in a first guest, a special guest, actually, someone who grew up in all boys' household. My husband, Christoph. Welcome, Christoph.

SPEAKER_05 1:35

Hello, hello. Thank you for having me. I'm bringing here some uh brother vibes or husband vibes to uh into the mix, hopefully.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Awesome. That's right. If you've been listening to Sister Vibes for a while, you know we've spent a lot of time unpacking our childhood, what it was like growing up as three sisters, how birth order shaped us, and how civilized stereotypes definitely show up in who we are today. But recently we started wondering what that experience looks like from the other side. We've talked so much about sisters, but what about brothers? Christoph, can you tell us where you grew up and where you fall in the birth order among your brothers?

SPEAKER_05 2:17

Uh four brothers. Big big household. My mom always wants said she wanted a girl. That did not work out. And after four times, maybe she just gave up then.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

She should have tried for the fifth.

Birth Order Gaps And Bonding

SPEAKER_05 2:27

Maybe that would have been the one that made her dreams come true. But we did all have long hair at some point uh in our uh rock and roll phases or metal phases, I guess. Uh maybe that accounted for a little bit. So I'm I'm the third one. I never thought much about kind of stereotypical roles, like the oldest is this way, the other is that way, the third is that way, or so. So that was kind of a new thing that uh I think Caudi has talked about much more often. But yeah, growing up until recently, I never really thought much about how that typically plays out, those dynamics.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

Yeah, okay. Where did you grow up?

SPEAKER_05 3:04

Well, I grew up in Germany in the south.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

And all your brothers.

SPEAKER_05 3:08

And everyone grew up in the same house. And I guess the ages may be a little bit different. So oldest one is five years older, and the next one is four years older than me. So those two are just one year apart, which means that they were much closer in terms of you know, teenage development, interests, hanging out. At the beginning, of course, for for four years, it was the two of them. So I think they had and still have uh a much closer bond. And then I was kind of the little one developmentally, you know, in terms of interests, all these things, just a bit further apart. And then my youngest brother, he's four years below me. So we have kind of these four-year and then one-year segments.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

So you're the third one to be born into the family, number three, yeah. Kind of middle.

SPEAKER_05 3:51

So I guess Sumia and I relate, should relate the most.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but kind of middle, right? Is that considered kind of middle, even though there's like a huge gap between his older ones and then his younger ones? I think so. Yeah, yeah. He's not the oldest nor the youngest.

SPEAKER_05 4:06

In terms of the age distribution, definitely in the middle.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

But then, like when I compare myself, because I was the always the middle one to Christoph, I don't feel like we're similar in our personalities, you know. But also we grew up in a different country. I don't know if that makes any difference.

SPEAKER_05 4:23

Yeah, and maybe in a different type of family, it sounds like your family, your parents were more strict than mine.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

It's kind of funny when I look at the stereotypes, though. I fit the stereotype of a middle child because I'm the forgotten one, I'm the crazy one. Um I caused a lot of problems, supposedly. I mean, apparently that's what middle children do. Yeah. So I kind of fit the stereotype. And Cody, you do too. Yeah. Maybe, Christoph, you can like talk about your personality.

Middle Child Stereotypes Challenged

SPEAKER_05 4:53

So I don't think any of the of the four of us is really chaotic or unorganized or or a rebel or so. I mean, my parents were so relaxed and everything that I don't feel like we had anything to rebel against. It was like whatever we wanted to do, it was it was fine. Um, and none of us had really any completely outrageous.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Maybe because you guys didn't need that discipline.

SPEAKER_05 5:15

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if it's personality or or culture-wise or just the environment that we were in. But yeah, we we were giving a lot of leeway. So uh I definitely never felt like I had to break out. I guess the the moment I felt uh when I needed to explore the world and break out was after uh high school, because then I moved to the US. I was like, my life will be boring if I stay here. I need to break out.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Yeah, but if you were to describe like each of your brothers' personalities, like briefly, what are they like? And what are you like?

SPEAKER_05 5:42

Like the oldest brother definitely I do think he has the strongest sense of responsibility. Uh, I think the the oldest one, there's always a little bit more of a special relationship between the parents. Parents are most anxious towards them and with them, right? And I think maybe that creates a special bond. And I think he feels like he has to be, I don't know, role model, leader, responsible. So I think he has some of that. But practically speaking, my the second brother, he lives now in the same house with my mom, someone who basically currently kind of looking out for her, even though she's still very independent, doesn't really need that, but they live in the same house.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Kind of nurturing.

SPEAKER_05 6:18

Um, I think the youngest one is the most nurturing. I think he's the one who has after college or so, you know, some people you stay in touch with for a short period of time, some people you stay in touch with for a long period of time. He's the one who stayed the longest in touch with a larger group of people, and then you know, looked out for them, made sure the group of friends works, that they go on vacation together to uh rent a house together.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

He's the gulo.

SPEAKER_05 6:44

I do think that was kind of his mindset or just his natural outlook. And interestingly, he used to watch soap operas, and my mom would say that the reflection of his interest in people dynamics. So I don't know if the soap operas came first and made him that way. It shaped him, or if the natural interest came first, and that's why he watched soap operas. I did not watch soap operas, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

So your personality though.

SPEAKER_05 7:09

I don't know. I I mean the three of you know me pretty well. Maybe you can describe it better than I can.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

He's the most obnoxious one out of the four.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

No. Um, I think you uh I mean, I know all your brothers. I think you're the jokester. Like he's sarcastic.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Are any of his brothers sarcastic?

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Not as crazy as well. Not really, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Kind of fits the middle child. A little bit out there personality, I guess. Possibly.

Games, Tech, And A Non-Wrestling House

SPEAKER_03 7:36

You know, Tomo, you and I used to exclude, or maybe it was driven from me anyway. Like we used to exclude Sumia from a lot of things. Like we didn't let her do the lot of things. We didn't let her join our join in on the fun. Yeah. And we purposefully closed her out on some things. So me, maybe you can like talk a little bit about what we did to you. Um, well, you guys will be like hanging out together. I will be all by myself, and then you'd be like, Hey, Simi, come here. And I'd like, oh my gosh, I can join them and I'm go over there. I'm like, Yes, and they're like, Hey, can you go get me some cues?

SPEAKER_02 8:10

I used to ask her to turn the light off for me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The other side of the house. Like, I would call for her, Simi, Sue me. She would come, yeah. Can you turn the light off, please? You know. So, did you get any of that, Christoph, from your brothers?

SPEAKER_05 8:22

I'm not saying I remember everything, but I don't feel like I did. I feel like they treated me pretty well.

SPEAKER_04 8:27

They were decent.

SPEAKER_05 8:28

There were even times where in our house they would have teenagers, they would have parties and invite people over. And I think sometimes I would hang out, uh, and I think sometimes I was annoying that way, but they never exactly kicked me out.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

Yeah, you were just kind of existing there.

SPEAKER_05 8:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

But you're four years younger. That's kind of significant, I would say. In comparison to two years apart like us. You were never excluded from doing stuff?

SPEAKER_05 8:54

Um either I don't remember, or it uh you know, maybe I don't want to remember. Yeah, it was not the case, but I don't feel like I ever was strongly excluded where I couldn't do these things. Even second next oldest brother, he would skateboard and he had some friends over, and they built a half pipe in our backyard. And like I would hang out with him, I would skateboard too. I was terrible at it, but you know, it was fine. I would just hang out there as well. Did you guys wrestle? No.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

See, that yeah, I would picture four boys growing up, they would like really wrestle hard, but I can't picture you guys wrestling.

SPEAKER_05 9:29

But I wonder if we duked it out in like a Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat on the computer.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Oh, I was gonna say, maybe that's the difference because you guys were more in the computer games.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Yeah. Yeah, you come from a techie family, you gotta mention that. So maybe that's a little different.

SPEAKER_05 9:47

Yeah, when your parents start a hardware software development company, you're just always surrounded. And a dad uh who was a huge tinker, we were just surrounded by computers. And my oldest brother was very much into programming, and we built our own computers, and very early on, even when it was even possible, we would somehow get hold of different programs, whether it was Photoshop or games or so, and we would spend a lot of uh time tinkering and doing that stuff. Initially, just with one computer and taking turns, and that sometimes got heated. Then uh, you know, everyone had their own computers, and then at some point you could hook them up and play together, and we would do that uh quite a lot together and against each other. So that definitely became a big thing as the technology developed.

School Tracks And Culture In Germany

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Any significant fights you remember? Because we fought a lot. Yeah. Well, especially you two. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:37

I do remember one time I did something to my next oldest brother, and he got so mad at me, I ran into my room and was able to barely close the door and and lock and twist the key. So it was locked. He was so mad he kicked the door. Now the door didn't break, but the lock it wouldn't unlock, it wouldn't open anymore afterwards. Wait, it wouldn't it wouldn't open or it broke? I could it wouldn't open anymore. I think somehow the maybe the lock, you know, somehow gets got stuck or so. I couldn't open the door anymore. I couldn't unlock it, and I couldn't open the door anymore because somehow he just hit it so hard.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Oh, so you were stuck in the room.

SPEAKER_05 11:13

Stuck in the room. I could climb out the window, like there wasn't too high, I could get out there that way.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

So they had to change the lock.

SPEAKER_05 11:18

But then eventually my dad had to actually really kick it again super hard to actually bust it open, and then the lock had to be replaced. I wish I remembered what I did to my brother, but um I I I don't remember that part anymore.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

You just remember making him mad.

SPEAKER_05 11:35

Yeah, I mean that was that really left an impact on me when the fight you remember?

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Well, maybe that must have been out of character or something, or maybe you thought it was scary.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

Yeah, yeah, I don't think we we had um no physical fight. No. Wow, that's all rap battles.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Rap battle.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

You would think when you hear when someone has four boys, you go, Oh my god, that must be so handful. Because usually I feel like boys are a lot more physical.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Do you feel like I mean, okay, so I know in Germany, like you mentioned how dogs don't even bark in Germany, and I was like, What are you talking about? And then it I I think I ended up hearing a few dogs bark that were all walking together only one time, but then all the other dogs that we came across, they were not barking at all, and I couldn't believe it. Do you think that somehow children are raised a lot differently in Germany? And so they are a little bit they behave a lot differently.

SPEAKER_05 12:36

Um, I don't know. I mean, you you know how Germany, the school system is split up into kind of three different tracks the gymnasium, Hauptschule, and Realschule. Fifth grade on. Secondary school, yeah. So I I went on the the what have we called the highest track, the gymnasium. And there were never really any fights. But our building was right next to a Hauptschule or a Realschule, and then down the street was a Hauptschule. And when we walked past there, we saw fights quite a lot. I believe that's really uncommon, especially when you're the younger one. A lot of times I wouldn't walk past that school, I would walk around because I knew, you know. So I think it's probably more common to get physical in other families.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Did all of your brothers go to the same track as you?

Curfews, Freedom, And Drinking Norms

SPEAKER_05 13:18

Uh no, three of us did. Myself and the youngest brother went to the same school, and then the other two went to two different schools uh altogether. And part of that is because they started secondary school when before we moved. So we moved uh to a different part of the city, and then once my brother and I went to secondary or school, and a different school was just closer to us.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

But I mean, was it on the similar track? Your older two brothers?

SPEAKER_05 13:44

Uh no, my next old brother went to gymnasium too, and oldest brother went to uh the i school.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 13:49

So that was uh different.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Yeah. Interesting.

SPEAKER_05 13:53

Yeah, no wrestling. But how do how does it compare to US and Japan? Is wrestling amongst boys common in Japan? Oh, Japan.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Yes, Sumi, answer that. I feel like I was just gonna say one thing about Japan is like all the kids are well behaved. Of course, I only know it from you know our son school, but the kids are usually rowdy and they have a hard time listening to the teachers, whatnot. But I think in Japan, I feel like kids are a lot more disciplined, more quiet, they have a lot more respect for the teachers and such. So I think they're just well behaved in general. Don't you think, Samia? I guess in general, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Well, but our dad, you know, he uh volunteers now at our school that we attended, elementary school, and he's told me that kids these days are completely different towards teachers and each other. He says that like they will talk back in class. He's like, they didn't that was never an issue when we were growing up. So he says that he sees like a clear difference with kids nowadays. So I can see that. I don't know if they're totally well behaved, but yeah, I wonder if kids in Japan they wrestle. Like, do boys wrestle at home? They probably do, right? I'm sure they do.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

I'm sure they do.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

What about chores? Did you guys do chores? Like our parents made us do chores a lot. I had to do like it's kind of funny now that I think about it. I wrote an essay about how to clean a bathtub once, like explaining how I would start, where I would start, in what order, and what I would do at the end.

SPEAKER_05 15:30

Yeah, so we because we were my parents started and ran a company, which was very demanding. And then uh at some point my dad left. My mom took over the company and she was extremely busy. So we had we had uh someone help with the household stuff who did a lot of the work cleaning, cooking, just getting things in shape. There was other stuff that we we did, like uh mowing the lawn, or sometimes we we'd also not necessarily chores, but we we would also work a little bit in the company, like when let's say it was Christmas and there were like 200 envelopes to put into folders and stamp or so, we would do these types of things. We didn't have a huge amount of of chores to do. We were kind of spoiled that way. But yeah, just just a few things uh around that.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

So were you the closest to your younger brother or your second one? There's like a similar gap, right? Four years, four years.

SPEAKER_05 16:19

Uh feel similar uh at the time. There was definitely, I mean, yeah, you have you kind of have typical dynamics because he was sometimes I do feel like I kind of made my uh younger brother intentionally mad. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Uh and uh I think you still make him mad with your stupid jokes and just yeah.

Qualities Admired Among Brothers

SPEAKER_05 16:40

He does, pretty sure. But it's also a thing where sometimes you know I really wanted to do things with him, but like we play ping pong or so, but then he was so young he couldn't really play very well. And then you know, for me it was frustrated, he was frustrated because he couldn't really keep up, and I was to try to play with him and all this stuff, but then I wanted some I think the age difference was sometimes problematic in that way. Um, where I was looking for someone that I could kind of compete with or so, and didn't necessarily have that uh at home when my older brothers were out and about, especially when once they when they got, you know, they could drive and they were much more mobile. Then I think I became more dependent on my younger brother's company.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Yeah. Did you all have your own rooms or did you share any rooms?

SPEAKER_05 17:27

Before we moved, we moved when I was nine. That's when we shared rooms. I don't remember a ton of that, but then afterwards uh we each had our separate rooms and they were all kind of next to each other, all the all the same size, you know, with kind of a shared common room. That's where the computers were at the time.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

I have a feeling brothers and sisters are totally different, all sisters versus all brothers, you know, like girls tend to just be so dramatic or like you know, bring issues up that were solved months ago, and then I feel like boys, you know, they don't really dwell on things, but that's just how I feel. They just move on, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:07

So my younger brother, after we moved a few years ago, he brought up this story that I don't even remember. But when I was a late teenager or so, at some point at two in the morning, I came home drunk from a party and I just banged the door or or rang the bell and somehow woke him up. I must have acted been pretty drunk, and somehow he still remembers that. It must have left some impression on him. He must have been, you know, more on the younger side, first time seeing someone drunk in his family drunk or so that that he still remembers.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

Were you in high school?

SPEAKER_05 18:39

Uh yeah, for sure, for sure. I don't know how old I was. I'm guessing 17 or 18 or so.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Yeah, the drinking age in Germany is much younger.

SPEAKER_05 18:48

16 for wine and beer, and then 18 for liquor. You can be younger than 16 if it's in supervision guardian or a parent.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Such as 14, was it? You can't imagine my daughter drinking. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 19:01

Yeah, I mean, you trust more that the family basically looks out for that. And you know, when then I came to college in the US, and for me it's like, yeah, I've had alcohol for a few years, no big deal. But people who came to started in college there, for damn it, just like a revelation.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:17

You know, it's like, oh, let's do this, let's do that.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Let's and half of the time you can't even, yeah, you're prohibited from drinking because you're not even at the age. Yeah. So I think that's why people go even more wild.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Yeah, but then like that excitement is over when you turn 21. You're like, I've been doing this for a while and it's not that exciting. I thought I would be excited, you know, when I turn of legal age. And I'm like, oh, it's not that exciting at all.

Siblings, College Paths, And Influence

SPEAKER_05 19:41

So I was just reading, this is totally random. I was just reading some statistics that younger people drink much less alcohol these days. They drink much more non alcoholic drinks. They want a buzz, but without the hangover. But hangover afterwards. So they're much more likely uh in areas in in countries where it's allowed to smoke, get high. Or take these like um gummies or so um so they get a little bit of a buzz without the hangover. But I thought it was interesting. There's some generational change uh happening that's also tied to legalization.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Yeah. Is there any uh qualities of one of your brothers or more of your brothers qualities that you envy that you wish you had?

SPEAKER_05 20:23

Yeah, like we already talked about for with my uh younger one. I appreciate his tendency to look out for his circle of friends and make sure the everyone's okay and sometimes also call out a friend or so when they're acting stupid or separating themselves from the group or do something that affects the group or so. So I think that's uh that's a great quality. And um there's probably something I could say about each one, just to be nice.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Yeah, just don't don't focus on one.

SPEAKER_05 20:49

Yeah, next other one, like he's always he's always built and had these projects, like building a half pipe in our backyard, and actually get sponsorship from a skate and snowboarding shop and from from the bank.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

And he it's self-taught. Like this is the oldest? No, he says second.

SPEAKER_05 21:05

Next oldest. He still has big projects, whether it's in backyard or other things. But yeah, I think that was something that he's the one that built a pool, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:13

In ground pool?

SPEAKER_05 21:14

Yeah, that's so cool.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

And he's self-taught. Yeah, I'm gonna build a house uh after I watch how to build a house on YouTube.

SPEAKER_05 21:22

Just ask AI, get one of these robots, and they'll do it for you. That's true. And the oldest brother, he was the one who, even as a teenager, he started his own business, like a computer repair business that he started with his friends. So, in a way, he was uh very early on, very entrepreneurial with that, always on top of uh you know, technology and self-taught in a lot of ways with these things.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

But you already have that, right? Like you're like that. Uh in terms of technology, no, entrepreneurial mind, and yeah, in terms of technology.

SPEAKER_05 21:52

Yeah, I would have never started a business as a 17 year old. Oh, 17, you know, um, at that age, furthest from my mind. But uh, I don't know, maybe he he got that from uh from our parents. So yeah, yeah, I think that that was that was in him the earliest, uh, I guess. I think I think that's also super cool. And uh creating his own past that way.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Just to kind of let listeners sort of understand your family dynamics. You said at the beginning that you thought that our parents were more strict, and you also said that you know you had some freedom, I guess. Like give us some examples. What are some of the things that you can think of?

SPEAKER_05 22:32

Yeah, I mean, as a 17, 18-year-old or so, and in my smallish town when there were parties, it was all within cycling distance, whether it was in the forest or it was at someone else's place or so. So I would just tell my mom in the evening, like, hey, I'm gonna go to this party, um, I'll take my bike, and she'd be like, I'll see you tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

No coffee?

SPEAKER_05 22:54

Not really. And I would just cycle back or sometimes walk back and push my bike.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

And these were pre-cell phone days, right?

SPEAKER_05 23:02

Yeah.

Role-Play, Board Games, And LARP

SPEAKER_02 23:03

So then, okay, so you she wouldn't know how you're doing, but you would just come back whenever you were done hanging out.

SPEAKER_05 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Does she know where you were, at least?

SPEAKER_05 23:13

So I think we were all very open about who we hung out with and what we did. And she was also pretty involved in our school. And I think she could read us pretty well. I think she kind of knew who each of us were at the time, what our kind of our tendency to experiment, rebel, do stupid things was.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 23:32

Have a pretty good understanding of what we're up to.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

I mean, it definitely matters like how your children are. Like, I don't discipline my kids the same. They're totally different kids, you know? We had a curfew, so mine was 10.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

Tomo, I think yours was midnight or something. I don't didn't just say it on time. No, I wasn't midnight. I think it was like I think you negotiated. I think it was like initially it was like 10, but then you negotiated to and pushed back to 11 or something.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

I don't know, but I just remember being reprimanded when I was late one minute. Yeah. Yeah. I was so mad. I was like, I'm basically on time. Maybe it's if you look at another clock, I'm on time. Yeah, but he reprimanded for so long. Yeah, I was really mad about that.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

Simi, did you have one? Not really. I was a good child.

SPEAKER_05 24:21

Maybe by the third one, the parents are broken in. And yeah, yeah, we don't, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Yeah, but also Simi wasn't the one that would like cause problems, I guess, right? Yeah. So maybe they didn't need to. I was the one to cover for you.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

That's what you say, but I don't remember that at all. So I don't know. If I did I I don't know. That just sounds so crazy to me. I always thought I was a good kid. So uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Well, you must have challenged them the most or something. I mean, I would never do that. Like, I would never do what? I would have been really mad to have such a curfew, but I don't think I would have negotiated. I would have been like, okay, I'll come back, whatever, you know.

unknown 25:07

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Yeah. I mean, I don't think I did either, but apparently I did. I mean, I know there are some things that I did that they didn't know about or whatever, but I didn't think I was like that crazy. Sumia. Sumia has a different version. Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_05 25:23

But do you think you could talk to your parents today and ask them about how they viewed you at the time? Oh, yeah. If they were aware of things.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Well, oh, aware of things? Just remember, Otosan's our number one listener, so he's our listener.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

That's right.

SPEAKER_05 25:43

Of course, he's gonna say he knew everything.

Video Games, Limits, And Parenting

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Maybe he could give us an input. Like what I hear all the time from Otosan and Okasa, our parents, about me was that they were always worried about me because I was a crybaby growing up when I was little, young, and I was attached to my mom. Cry every day going to kindergarten, and I didn't want to go to kindergarten. Although you had somebody to go with. That was before. There was a time when I didn't have anybody to go with, but I don't know why that makes a huge difference. But I just didn't, I remember not wanting to go, and I don't know why, but I made a huge scene every morning, and I do remember that. But they always tell me I worried about you the most because you were a crybaby, but then as you grew up, you were the least we worried about because I adjusted to the US the best that you would always say. And I don't know what that meant, but they were like, You were no longer this crybaby. And they tell me this all the time. Actually, Okasa just told me last week about this. She's like, she tells me this all the time. I worried about you the most because you were such a crybaby, but then when we moved to the US, you changed.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Yeah, you became American.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

I guess, like right away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Well, you always said that you wanted to be one.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Or something. I don't know. I don't remember saying that.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

I remember that.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

I don't remember saying I wanted to be American, but I remember like always feeling like I don't relate to Japanese people. Do we have any other questions for Kristoff, our first guest on Sister Vives?

SPEAKER_03 27:14

Do you have any memories that stands out while you guys were in the same household?

SPEAKER_05 27:20

Uh any specific type of memory.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

For example, I can just talk a little bit of what I can think of. Like when we were all living together, still in Japan, we used to do lots of plays. Like we would come down from the steps. We lived in two-story house. We would come down from the steps and yeah, in the hallway, we used to do like performances and stuff. So we used to do those things together.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

What did you do imagination-wise with your brother?

SPEAKER_03 27:44

It doesn't have to be imaginations, but like what are some of the earliest memories, I guess, where you guys, you know, did things together or anything that stands out. Obviously, we're girls too. Like we we used to play like house, who's gonna be the teacher, who's gonna be the mom, who's gonna be the student. We also had you know groceries like plastic fruit, vegetables, and such. Typical girl play, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

Yeah. Did you do like do an imaginary sword fight with your brothers?

SPEAKER_05 28:10

Or my brothers and I we used to play a lot of board games. We always got new ones for Christmas. And those could take hours to play, some really complex ones. And then we also played a lot of the Dungeons and Dragons games, for you sit around a table and one person tells a story and everyone has a hero. You can spend like 30 hours in just one of these kind of stories. It's almost like a book that you kind of venture through together and you do all kinds of battles and find things and go through different scenarios and whatnot. It's super intense. And uh, we also came up with our own stories. So that's something we did.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Did you do that at a young age? Were you able to sit there all four of you?

Shifting Alliances And Sibling Dynamics

SPEAKER_05 28:48

Yeah, it's a cool thing. Like when you're all together and doing this together, it's uh it's a cool thing. And it is a bit like you know, role-playing. In this case, it's like you're a dwarf or like a uh sorcerer or so. I mean, maybe it's uh similar to playing house or so, I don't know. Yeah, uh, but it is a type of uh role play together. And then um, I don't know who actually started it, but they also started getting into live-action role-playing games where you actually make like fake swords and you dress up, and they have these events where you know we have all these castles in Germany where someone rents a castle, and then you actually do this stuff in real time, and people come in and show up in like all these medieval outfits, and people are very intense. Have you guys attended that? Yeah, and it was like live-action role-playing games where for example, you know, they have like a medieval Christmas market here, but you dress normally and you go to the Christmas market, you have maybe some wine and like a certain cup or so from the medieval ages. But they're actually everyone would dress up and they talk a certain way, and they would really act out uh this type of uh things. And I think that was more of something where I tagged along, but my older brothers and their friends kind of really got into it. But I'm just thinking of that because you said like doing virtual sword fights. We actually had these fake, they spent a lot of time. I think an ex older brother spent a lot of time, uh, creating these kind of plastic swords. And it was just complex to do them. It was like a small solid core and then like different types of plastic around it and other stuff. Uh padding. And then uh we would battle with those. Um, yeah, so maybe that comes closest to uh some type of role-playing activity that we did together.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

What about were you guys into superheroes or anything? I feel like all boys are into superheroes. Not a thing in Germany. No? Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 30:35

Not at the time.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Really?

SPEAKER_05 30:36

I know we had a cousin who read superhero comics, but we thought it was just weird.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

Really? That's not a thing in Germany.

SPEAKER_05 30:45

Not a thing at all. Why? At least not at the time. That was not a thing, superheroes.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

But you guys like to watch superhero movies though.

SPEAKER_05 30:53

Now, of course, yeah, with all the Marvel stuff and their huge universe and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

I love Marvel movies.

unknown 30:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

We used to act like Power Rangers. Do you remember this?

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Yes, I do actually. Simi, do you remember that? I remember Power Rangers, yeah, and they were in different colors, right? Yeah, like the red was the main character.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Who? Yeah, red, red, and the girl was pink. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Was she the only girl? I think so. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. I don't know if we did a a whole lot of that, but because like we turned into her, and then what? What do we do?

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Like we used to jump off of like we have a little rock in um our parents' yard, so we used to jump off of it.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

I thought it was a big rock, and then I got older and I went back and I'm like, wow, this is a small rock. I always thought it was big.

SPEAKER_05 31:51

Yeah, and and then I guess uh once that was possible when we had multiple computers in the house and video games started allowing off of the capabilities that you could play together, then we did that in a huge amount. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

I think I've expressed this before on the podcast too. Like I have struggled because you know, Christoph and his brothers have played video games, and you didn't have any time restrictions, right? Like they didn't limit time. Your your parents, I mean.

SPEAKER_05 32:20

Well, initially there was one computer, so we had to compete over it. So that was the time limit in the way there. Uh, but then later on, uh, yeah, not really. No, not real. There were no strict limits.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

And this was when you were teenager, right?

SPEAKER_05 32:36

So this was back in like mid to late teens. Was it 80s? No, sorry, 90s. Yeah. Mid nineties or something.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

It just sounds so crazy to me that you're trying to say that like you struggle with that because you have a son and you feel the need to put restriction.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

Yeah, because I didn't grow up like that. You know what I mean? Like it was like no video games in our household. I think things changed when our brother was born though. Because I think he he did have right? Or did he not?

SPEAKER_02 33:06

Yeah, he had a little what is it called? Yeah, yeah. Something where you can carry and yes. And I remember being shocked, like, what he's allowed to have that? You guys were so anti-games in this house, but then he didn't have anyone. He was so much younger, he's like kind of basically an only child.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

Yeah, yeah. The closest thing we had to we had was like Tamungochi, I think. Oh yeah, Tamongochi.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Yeah, that was in what, middle school, high school?

SPEAKER_03 33:33

Yeah, but that was in our school. Yeah, that was in the US for sure, yeah. But in Japan, like because you know, the Nintendo was big at the time when I was I think it was first, second grade. I remember, you know, our friends having it, and I couldn't play at all. I was envious that they had it.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

I don't remember being envious, and I'm sure my friends had it, but I always did enjoy playing outside. I mean, I felt like our parents had the rule like, if it's not raining, go outside.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

It was homework and then outside. Yeah. Like we couldn't even play inside with friends either. It was like outside.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Oh, yeah. I don't remember playing with friends inside. I do have a question for Christoph. Um, did you have any clicks at different times of your childhood, like with certain brothers? Like, were you close to certain one and you were a certain age, and then it switched to someone else? Because I did, I feel.

SPEAKER_05 34:30

Yeah, I think I mentioned it earlier a little bit. Once my older brothers had, you know, girlfriends or then went to different school or study or so, then like naturally, of course, that that changed the dynamics. And as my younger brother became someone to pick up closer to him, of course. Of course. And then he was the only one that had, and then I couldn't pick on him anymore. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:55

I think just the change in in age kind of made all the difference in that regard. And we went to the same school as well. Me and the youngest, but not with the oldest one. So we went to the same school. We had the some of the same teachers and whatnot.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

What about now? Has things changed?

SPEAKER_05 35:13

Um, definitely hang out more with the next oldest one. Uh the second one? Like the second one? Like, yeah, we I mean our families go skiing, snowboarding together, for example.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Yeah, I guess our kids are around the same age. Cousins.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

Yeah. Yeah. Who who got married first in your out of your brothers? The oldest?

SPEAKER_05 35:36

I believe so. I don't know off the top of my head.

SPEAKER_04 35:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 35:41

I think so. Yeah. Oldest kids as well. I mean, that's something that I thought was kind of nice having four and five-year older uh brothers, that I could kind of see a little bit what's what's ahead coming, yeah and things, how things change for them.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

That's true.

SPEAKER_05 35:57

For example, one thing that I fairly clearly remember, I saw them going to college, and then a few years later, they didn't keep a lot of touch with their high school friends. And that for me was a sign where well it's probably kind of similar because I looked around and I was thinking about going to the US to study, and then I thought, well, would I miss my friends? How important is that? And then I saw my brothers, they're like, Yeah, they don't really hang out with their friends anymore. Two years later. I thought, well, maybe, maybe it's it's not so big of a loss if I actually make the switch, like I'll meet new people and interesting.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 36:30

The friends that matter, I'll stay in touch anyways, because you know that's what I saw with my brothers.

SPEAKER_02 36:35

Yeah. So it kind of like shaped how you were going to choose your life in a way.

SPEAKER_05 36:41

Yeah. And maybe that's something you don't have as the oldest child, maybe because you're the kind of the the trendsetter there.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Yeah, there's no example.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

You mean well, okay. So talking about the college topic, like she went to Ohio State. I wanted to go to a different school, but my parents were like going back to Japan. So it was just going to be the two of us left in the US. So they asked me if I would go to Ohio State so that I could be closer to her because then they would feel safe about it. So that actually made me upset. But I didn't want to go there. You know, I mean, everything happens for a reason. It worked out fine. But for me, I was like, oh, felt like it was a disadvantage. Like I have to go there because my sister went. But I understand our parents', you know, perspective of I'm leaving, you know, my kids in the US and they only have each other. Ideally, they wanted us together, which made sense. But for me, I was like, oh, that's a disadvantage. For me, I was like, at least you're staying. That's true. Because you had to move and when you were in high school, yeah, I felt so bad for you. I felt so bad for myself. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

I remember Simi saying also that looking at us, you didn't want to be like us. It's because when you guys were like fighting, because you guys fought a lot, and I would just like observe the fight, and I'd be like, I don't want to be like them. Do you think that I initiated more fights or Tomon initiated more? I think it was just both of us.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

Yeah. I didn't have any problem starting a fight.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

Yeah. I thought maybe Tommy started more.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Did you think? No, I think it was just both of you. Yeah. I think you know, our personalities clashed a lot for sure. You know, we're very, very, very different. Yeah. I think that you guys should take my quality more. Um, no, but we very much differ in personality. So obviously fights will happen, you know.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Yeah, Simi was smart to just stay away from it.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

But so what I was trying to say is like when I asked Christoph if he had clicks, remember like I've went through a phase where, or maybe it wasn't a phase, maybe I would just pick and choose as I like I remember hanging out with Simi all the time. Yeah, you were conveniently switching back and forth, or was that a phase like where I was like always following everywhere you went? And then did I switch over to okay, I just want to hang out with Sumi and take her everywhere with me? Or did I go back and forth? I don't remember all that, but I do remember. I mean, you've followed me a lot, that's for sure, but I'm sure there are many times where I said I don't want you to come. I remember like taking Sumi with me to even my friend's house and stuff. Yeah. But did you and Sumi ever hang out?

SPEAKER_03 39:29

No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

Yeah, there's a the bigger age gap between four years, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:36

You follow me everywhere, seriously.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Maji. And then yep. And I felt that you wanted me. I remember being like, but you need me. Like, let me go. Yeah, like your friends are gonna want to see me in my mind. I was thinking.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

Yeah, but then when you didn't come with me, then you probably hung out with Simeon because he probably didn't want to be by yourself.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've always been that way for sure.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

I think you have Hung out with me when you wanted to be bossy because they you set up so many, like she was always bossy no matter what. Yeah, like you used to set up like so many rules, like who, me or told me? No, no, tom me. Oh, okay. Oh, me. Okay, so there's this one time you told me to use honorific um cable.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

Yeah. Or you won't respond to me. I was like, okay. Yeah, that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

That's me being like picking on you, I guess. I did enjoy picking on you and picking on Cody too. I just loved picking on everybody. And I still I'm still kind of like that. I love to embarrass my kids. Thanks, Christoph. Yeah, thank you, Christoph. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 40:40

Thank you so much for having me. Uh having me as your your first big guest.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 40:47

Keep it up. I'll be listening.

Closing And Listener Reminder

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Thanks for joining us today. Don't forget to review Sister Vibes and make sure to subscribe on the app of your choice so you don't miss our upcoming episodes.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

Until next time, John Nan live with yourself and all of these games you play. But I chose to give it all away.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

And now I've said anything wrong, get how they want to come and give me a praise.